Baby Makes Three
by Ronja-R
Summary: My take on the Blair-is-pregnant-in-season-one scenario.
1. Chapter 1

Yeah, nobody's ever done this before. A story where Blair _is_ pregnant in **113**. No points for originality when it comes to the premise. I haven't actually read any of the other stories based on this idea so I don't know if what I do with the premise turns out to be original either. Hopefully it will be enjoyable!

This story is Chuck and Blair, but not necessarily _Chair_. There will definitely be strong elements of it, but I haven't decided yet if I will have them end up together in this story or not. My other pregnancy story was a lot about their relationship but with this one I wanted to make it more about the idea of what they would be like as teenage parents, individually or together. And since this story kicks off in mid season one Blair is still quite strung up on Nate at first. She was pretty anti-Chuck around that time on the show, or at least pretended to be.

Hm, what else… Well, since I already have one pregnancy story up I wanted to make sure this one wasn't just a carbon copy with the characters at an earlier age. A few themes will probably reoccur, but I'm attempting to try and explore different reactions in different characters. I hope it won't seem weird to those who read the other story.

Enough of my talking! This first chapter is fairly short. An update will follow within a week or two. But please let me know what you think of the start of the story!

* * *

Blair stared at the stick in her hand and felt nauseous. It couldn't be. There were false positives all the time. This was obviously one of them. There was no way in hell she could be pregnant. She was Blair Waldorf, and Blair Waldorfs did not get knocked up while still in high school. Serena van der Woodsens might, but not Blair Waldorfs.

As if Serena on some level seemed to know that she was more likely than Blair to end up with a bun in the oven way too early in life she had known exactly what to do in a situation like this. Buy lots of tests. Like a hundred. Obviously this first stick was wrong and a second, and perhaps third, would be needed to prove it.

Unfortunately, half an hour later it seemed like none of these sticks had gotten the memo. Blair Waldorf simply _could not_ be pregnant. On the verge of tears she saw the collection of pregnancy tests which were all screaming out their doomsday message. The wastebasket in her bathroom was practically a cracked piñata of pregnancy tests in the completely wrong color. It made her want to throw up, without the aid of two fingers down her throat. This simply could not be. It had to be a mistake.

She ran out to her bedroom and grabbed the phone. She dialed Serena's number and prayed to God that she wouldn't be hanging out with Hobo Humphrey right when her best friend needed her the most.

"I'm going to die!" she cried when Serena answered the phone.

"Wait, what?" Serena's confused voice said on the other end.

"The sticks are all positive! Or rather horribly negative. It's like they've all ganged up on me to try and freak me out. You didn't mess with them as some sort of sick practical joke, did you? I know you're pissed at me, but there are limits to how far payback can go."

"What are you talking about?" Serena asked before it dawned on her. "Oh my God! B, are you saying that you're-"

"No don't say it!" Blair shrieked, and then the tears started falling down her face. "Don't say it."

"Well are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, just peachy. Dead woman walking, but other than that life is just swell."

"I'll be right over" Serena said and hung up.

Blair put the phone down again and threw herself down on the bed, burying her face in a pillow. This was a nightmare. A really horrible nightmare. She could not be pregnant. It simply could not happen to her. Not even the thought that this could be what bound her and Nate together forever made her cheer up. She didn't exactly want them to be bound together because she was having their baby, at least not at this age. Babies ever after was supposed to happen later.

It had to be some kind of mistake. Maybe she had read the instructions on the tests wrong. Some tests turned blue if you _weren't_ pregnant. But she knew that wasn't the case. She had read the instructions carefully while she waited for the results on each stick. They had all turned the color that signified what Blair least of all wanted to hear. One had even shown a little smiley face, as if this was something to be smiling about.

She tried her best to block out any and all thoughts of the horrible truth but it didn't work too well. What the hell was she supposed to do now? Her parents would kill her, Nate's family would never look at her the same way again and Nate… How would he react? Would he be thrilled at the thought of becoming a father? Hardly. He thought making dinner plans for next weekend was too much of a commitment.

And what if… Oh God, no. That thought was too horrible to even think to the end. No, Nate was the father, that was clearly the truth. The only logical conclusion. The only _possible_ conclusion.

* * *

"You're having Chuck's baby" Serena concluded a short while later, taking a seat on the bed.

"No I'm not" Blair said firmly. "First of all I'm not having a baby. Second of all, the baby I'm having most definitely is not Chuck's."

"Well I don't mean to be presumptuous or anything here, but you and Nate just got back together, and you've got to be at least a couple of weeks along. You slept with Nate only once before Christmas and with Chuck…"

"That's not the point" Blair said, looking up from the pillow she had buried her face in. "If there is a baby then Nate is the father."

"You're just saying that because you believe in a fairy tale ending with Nate."

"I'm saying that because I don't believe that different species can successfully procreate. There's no way this is Chuck's… accident."

"You don't know that for sure" Serena said.

Blair moaned loudly in response and hid her face in the pillow again. Serena gently caressed her back, trying to make sense of her own chaotic thoughts. Suspecting that Blair might be pregnant was one thing, but finding out there actually _was_ a baby was something else entirely. Serena didn't have the first idea what to say to console her friend.

Blair looked up.

"This is annoyingly ironic" she sighed. "Through the miracle of life _my_ life is officially over. Finito."

"Have you had a chance to think about what you're going to do?"

"You mean once I'm done having the stroke?"

"I know you only found out about this today, but there are options" Serena said, trying to look at the situation practically. "Adoption, or abortion even."

"No, I can't do either" Blair sighed.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. While I do wish with all my heart for this to just go away, abortion is just not… I couldn't go through with it S. If I did, then somewhere down the line when I had a baby it would kill me to know that I murdered one before."

"Abortion isn't necessarily-"

"It is to me" Blair said. "What other people do is their business, but I couldn't. What if it is Nate's? I couldn't kill Nate's baby."

"A minute ago you were _sure_ it was his."

"You seem convinced otherwise. Oh God S, what is Nate going to say? What is Mom going to say? Everyone at school? I will be ridiculed. Shamed! And Daddy probably won't buy me a convertible when I turn twenty like he promised."

"What would you do with a convertible? You don't drive."

"You're missing the point" Blair groaned.

"Well before we do anything else, let's get this confirmed" Serena said and started to dial a number on her phone.

"You have a gyno on speed-dial?"

"Actually I do, but it's not something I like to talk about. All I will say is that penicillin took care of it."

Blair made a disgusted face which Serena ignored. While her best friend hid her face in the pillow again Serena spoke to her gyno's secretary and tried to get an appointment as soon as possible.

"How's next Tuesday?" Serena asked Blair in a whisper.

Blair sat up with a frown and yanked the phone away from Serena. Six minutes, one bribe and a threat later, Blair had gotten an appointment for later that day, after normal business hours. She handed the phone back to Serena and then excused herself to go throw up, though she didn't know if it was out of shock or if it was pregnancy related.

Serena put her phone away and tried to shut out the sound of her best friend vomiting. This was Serena's greatest fear come true, only it had happened to Blair. Serena wasn't sure if she was relieved she wasn't the one pregnant, or if she was devastated for Blair. Or if maybe she was both.

Blair came back out from the bathroom, looking pale and about ready to throw herself out the window. Serena tried to offer her a smile but couldn't bring herself to it. This was a real mess.

* * *

That night Blair sat on her bed wearing the only flannel pajamas she had ever owned, absentmindedly pulling at the mane of a lion plushie she hadn't touched in about five years. Serena, who was more elegantly clad in a satin nightgown, sat down on the bed as well and tried to offer some form of comfort.

"Doctors are wrong all the time" she said.

"I know you're only trying to help, but showering me in stupidity isn't going to make me feel better" Blair said sullenly and looked up. "You heard the man S. I'm as pregnant as that 69 year-old woman in Barcelona before she popped out twins. Except instead of being ridiculously old I'm ridiculously screwed."

"It will be okay B" Serena said.

"Serena this marks the end of my reputation. The end of my status as queen. Queens don't get knocked up in high school. I've become exactly the kind of white trash suburban school moronic slut I've always wrinkled my nose at."

"Blair…"

"How am I supposed to be able to face everyone at school? No, actually, forget Constance Billard. How am I supposed to get into _Yale_? Everything I've been working so hard for has just been thrown into the trash today, together with eight different pregnancy tests and a macaroon I couldn't even finish."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to get in to Yale somehow."

"Actually forget about school altogether" Blair sighed. "I won't have to figure out what to do about that because there are two sets of parents about to kill me."

"Yours and Nate's? Blair you know what the doctor said."

"Doctors are wrong all the time" Blair reminded Serena.

"He gave you an estimated date of conception. And it was two weeks before cotillion, meaning before you had sex with Nate."

"An _estimated_ date" Blair emphasized. "Two weeks is not that much, he could easily be off by that much. Why are you so quick to assume that this parasite is Chuck's? Wait, actually I think I just answered my own question."

"I'm just looking at the facts" Serena said. "You only slept with Nate once, weeks after the baby appears to have been conceived. Like it or not Blair you do have to acknowledge that in all likelihood this is you and Chuck, not you and Nate."

"What if it is Serena?" Blair asked. "What am I supposed to do then? Nate and I, that's how it's supposed to be. Chuck… I mean, just listen to how it sounds. Blair and Chuck? That's not right. He's not parent material and he's not boyfriend material. How can I have a kid with a sleaze like that?"

"Judging by the looks of it you're going to have to find an answer to that pretty soon" Serena said, lying down on her side. "Who knows? Maybe he'll bolt. As far away from this penthouse as a guy can bolt without actually leaving the Upper East Side."

"I don't think he would" Blair said. "Though I would love it if he proved me wrong."

"If you really loathe the guy that much why did you sleep with him in the first place?" Serena had to ask. "More than once, I mean. I kind of get the first time, but…"

"I don't _loathe_ him" Blair said, looking down at the lion plushie. "We've always been friends. He's attractive, and he knows what he's doing in bed. But having a _baby_ together? That's something else entirely."

"If you even decide to keep it."

"We've been over this."

"I don't mean abortion" Serena said. "You could give the kid up for adoption. Go to France, stay with your father, have the baby and then come back. Nobody has to know, especially not the people at Yale."

"The thought crossed my mind" Blair said. "But it just landed me back where I was with abortion. Say that I give the baby up for adoption, and I have another baby later on which I choose to keep. How will I be able to stop myself from wondering about every moment I have with that baby, how that moment would have been like with the first one? And if this one ever came to find me, how would I be able to justify to him or her that I love my other children but I didn't love my first one enough to keep it?"

"I still don't think you should dismiss the thought so easily" Serena said. "If you go to France you might be able to escape the rumors and the gossip… You could keep your crown. And once the birth is over you can go back to your normal life."

"It sounds kind of horrid" Blair said. "It's one thing to not want to be pregnant… I don't think I could just put blinders on and ignore the fact that I have a baby if I actually have to give birth to one. Once the baby exists then I will always be…" She paused before she could say the word. "A mother. Anyway, what's to say Chuck or Nate would even agree to that? What if whichever one is the father wants to keep it? I can't go to France and have the baby of either the boy I've loved since forever or one of my closest friends and not tell him."

Serena bit her bottom lip, having no answers to give. Blair sat in silence for a while, trying to cope with everything that had happened during the day.

"Seriously Serena, what will my parents say?" she then asked in a sad voice. "Their daughter knocked up, and she doesn't even know who the father is."

"They'll be shocked" Serena said. "But they love you. They're your parents."

"That argument carries little weight when you're talking to someone who's pregnant and couldn't care less about the damn thing."

"That's not true, or you would have gotten an abortion. Besides, you've only known about this for a few hours."

"They will be so disappointed" Blair said. "And to make matters worse, Nate's parents have to get involved, and Chuck's father. Five adults all thinking I'm an irresponsible slut. Six if you include Roman."

"To hell with them if that's what they think" Serena said.

"And what is Nate going to think?" Blair asked. She looked up and Serena saw that she had tears in her eyes. "We just got back together. What is he going to do, what will he say, _think_, when he finds out that I'm pregnant and the father might be his best friend? It will be the end of us. If the pregnancy wasn't bad enough, I don't think he could forgive me for having slept with Chuck."

"You don't know that."

"Chuck's pretty sure Nate wouldn't forgive either one of us. So that makes two of us who think Nate would turn away. Incidentally the two people who know him the best."

"You forgave me" Serena pointed out. "And hey, as long as there's a chance that the baby is Nate's he's not going to turn away."

"He'll do his part, I'm sure" Blair said. "Try his best to be a parent… But all I will ever be to him from now on is the girl who slept with his best friend and then got him stuck with parenthood."

"It does take two to make a baby. Maybe it's Nate who got _you_ stuck with parenthood. You're the one with the dreams and goals, not Nate."

"I _was_ the one with the dreams and goals…"

"And now you're the one with depression. But things will work out, I promise."

Blair was far from convinced. She felt like she had been handled a death sentence, with no chance of pardon. Now that she had been snapped from her perfect movie she could see reality far too clearly. This was not going to be what brought her and Nate closer together. It would have been if it hadn't been for Chuck. That damn Bass ruined everything he touched.

It didn't even matter right now if the baby was Chuck's or not. The mere possibility that it _could_ be, the fact that Blair had slept with him, was enough to pull the trigger on Blair and Nate. Nate wouldn't forgive. How could he, if she was carrying Chuck's spawn?

Serena scooted over and pulled Blair into a hug. Blair was barely aware of it. In her mind she was being berated or looked down upon by everyone she cared about, save for Serena and the ever loyal Dorota. But even Dorota would probably be shocked. She was all about being proper, and God watching everything, and now her protégée was having a baby out of wedlock. Possibly with the biggest creep in New York City. Way to sully the fine Waldorf bloodline.

"It will be okay B…" Serena said. "Things might get difficult for a while, but think a year ahead… A year from now you will have a _baby_."

"I think I need to vomit again" Blair moaned.

* * *

And thus this story begins. Hope it was enjoyable and interesting. Let me know what you thought of it (constructive criticism is always welcome), and I hope you'll be with me when I post chapter 2 =)


	2. Chapter 2

Big thanks to all of you who responded to the first chapter of this story! I'm glad to hear people seem to think it's got an original touch. Let's hope I can keep it that way =)

Some of you asked if Chuck's going to have the same type of reaction in this story as he did in "_Out of the Frying Pan_". The answer is no, but he won't be super excited about it either. I'm trying to find a balance to keep his reaction in line with what I think they would have been when he was sixteen, without making him quite as anti as he was in the other story.

One thing I will try to do in this story is follow some of the storylines on the show. Mostly through season one, then a few from season two and after that we'll see. This includes doing something I normally don't like in fanfics, which is to borrow dialogue from the actual episodes for scenes that are only slightly similar to what they were on the show (or put that dialogue in all new scenes). If that makes sense. It will when you read this chapter, if nothing else. Basically I've rewritten a few scenes to tie it in with how the episodes went on the show, while taking the story AU. Hope it works!

* * *

They said it was asking for trouble to say or even think the words "things can't get worse". Blair discovered that to be true when she arrived to school with Serena the next day, having uttered those words that morning and then seeing Chuck the first thing when she arrived to school. Fantastic. He was leaning against a wall smoking pot. Wonderful. How blessed she truly was to possibly be carrying around the fruit of his loins.

"Serena walk me past him as quickly as possible" she muttered under her breath. "You were the one who tattled to him so you're now in charge of keeping him at arm's length."

Serena grabbed her arm and dragged Blair past Chuck, who looked up and quickly put his joint out before following them.

"Don't stop on my account" Blair said, trying to sound careless.

"Oh I have to" Chuck replied. "Second-hand smoking is bad for the, uh…"

He reached out and touched her Serena-free arm, causing her to spin around.

"Leave me alone Chuck."

Serena cast a nervous glance from one friend to the other as Chuck got a look on his face that was the last one Blair wanted to see. It was the look he got when he figured something out about her which she would rather he didn't know.

"You're actually…" he said.

"No I'm not" Blair lied in a gritted whisper.

"But you are" Chuck said, looking startled. "There's no way you didn't take a pregnancy test by now. And if it had been negative you would have told me that, not told me to leave you alone. And you wouldn't arrive to school with your own personal support system attached to your arm. How many tests-"

"Shhh!" Blair angrily shushed him.

"How many tests did you take?" he asked in a lower voice. "Sometimes you can get false positives. Did you book an appointment with a doctor?"

"I didn't realize you knew so much about pregnancy scares" Blair snarled. "Much experience, have you?"

He reached out to touch her stomach but she recoiled.

"I said get away from me!"

"Blair if this is really real then we have to-"

"We have to do nothing" Blair said. "You've done enough, don't you think? Just stay away and leave me alone. Serena let's go."

"Not so fast" Chuck said, walking around her to stand in her way.

"What kind of bodyguard are you?" Blair asked Serena. "Get rid of him! Get me away from here."

"Not until I get some answers" Chuck said.

"Chuck do we really need to do this now?" Serena asked.

"Yes" Chuck said. "Have you told Nate?"

"See?" Blair said to Serena. "I told you that would be all he worried about. I'm sorry Chuck but I'm fresh out of sympathy for you getting bro-dumped by Nate once he finds out. The fact that _I_ will get dumped is more urgent to me. It's not even fair, you're the one who betrayed him, not me."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I slept with you while Nate and I were broken up. I was free to do whatever I wanted to. You slept with your best friend's great love. No excuses."

"Anything I'm guilty of, you're guilty of too" Chuck argued. "Having sex with your ex's best friend? That doesn't sound very good to me."

"At least I can claim I did it to hurt him and get away with that."

"Guys, this really isn't the time or place" Serena said. "Blair, come on, we need to get to class. Chuck, you and Blair do need to talk, but do it after school."

She grabbed Blair's arm again and led her past Chuck, who deeply wished he hadn't put out his joint. He could really use it right now.

* * *

How Blair got through that school day she would never know. How she got through it without letting on to Nate that anything was wrong was an even bigger mystery. He was all about enjoying their newly revived relationship, and seemed to want to spend all his time between classes engaging in make-out sessions in the yard. Flanked by his not-too-pleased sidekick, who kept shooting Blair looks that clearly told her what he thought of her current conduct. She tried hard not to care, determined not to let on that anything was wrong until they were in a more private setting. Telling Nate in the middle of the school day would be a disaster.

"I have to go" Nate said, giving her one last kiss. "I need to use the boys' room. Luckily we just have one more class and then we're free. Want to go down to the park and get some ice-cream after school?"

"It's January" Blair reminded him, trying not to see the looks Chuck was giving her.

"Really? I haven't noticed the cold, for some reason I'm all warm and fuzzy."

He placed a kiss on her cheek and walked off. Blair watched him go and to her great horror realized Chuck wasn't following him. Serena was off getting something from her locker and Blair was alone with the beast.

"Touching" Chuck said with obvious contempt. "I wonder how saccharine the scenes will be after you tell him your dirty little secret."

"Chuck do you have secret-spilling Tourette's?" Blair snarled in a low voice. "You're not exactly being subtle."

"Kind of hard to pretend everything is peachy perfect when you're macking with my best friend while possibly carrying-"

"Seriously Chuck keep your mouth shut" Blair growled.

"You're lucky I haven't told Nate the ugly truth already" Chuck said. "You broke the rules of the game sweetheart; I told you no fondling with Archibald until I said it was okay. Maybe I _should_ go and tell him everything right now."

"There's a reason why you haven't told him anything" Blair argued. "You could have easily done so in Monaco, but you don't want him to hate you. And you know he will. Once he finds out, you will be the last person in the world he wants to hang out with."

"Actually I think I will be tied for that spot with a certain someone."

"I will still be the girl possibly pregnant with his child" Blair said in a whisper. "That gives me a better position than you."

"Really? Because I don't think he will take so lightly to knowing you don't know if it's him or me who's responsible here. Look, Blair, I really need to talk to you about this before you tell Nathaniel."

"Then talk after school" Blair said, casting a glance at the clock. "I have to go."

"I'm serious Waldorf" Chuck said, grabbing her by the arm. "We need to talk. Before you go to Nate and perhaps cause unnecessary damage."

"Damage has already been done" Blair said and walked away from him.

She hurried to her classroom and tried to focus on her French, but it was easier said than done. She breathed a sigh of relief when the bell rang and they were finally dismissed for the day. She hurried to her locker and got what she needed, eager to get home and prepare for her no doubt relationship murdering talk with Nate.

She had only taken a few steps out the front doors before Chuck emerged and grabbed her by the arm for what felt like the millionth time that day. She recoiled, having not seen him approach.

"Geez Chuck!" she exclaimed. "Trying to scare me to death?"

"You're riding with me back to your place" he said, leading her towards his limo.

"Bass you are the last person I want to be spending time with" she protested.

"I've been thinking about this all day and like I told you before, we need to talk before you speak with Nate."

Before she could protest he had opened the door to his limo and more or less shoved her inside. He got in after her and the car drove off. Blair tried her best to ignore the memory of what had happened in this very limo which had been the start of this whole mess. Luckily Chuck's mind seemed to be anywhere but on sex for once.

"Listen," he said, "maybe this doesn't have to be all that bad."

"Doesn't have to be all that bad?" she echoed with disbelief. "Do you not grasp the concept of 'bad'?"

"Maybe the 'bad' can be limited to the fact that you're knocked up. And not include a messy… sex triangle of sorts."

"Chuck the situation is what it is."

"We used a condom" Chuck reminded her. "Every time. And I'm pretty sure I'd notice if one of them broke. Nate on the other hand… Did you guys use protection?"

Blair didn't answer. She was surprised, and getting angry, as she realized where he was going with this.

"If you slept with Nate without protection then there's no real mystery as to who the father is" Chuck went on. "So why tell Nate you slept with me as well? It would only break his heart, ruin both our relationships with him and create a huge mess out of something that can be as simple as two teenagers getting a bit too excited, forgetting the rubber and ending up pregnant."

"I knew you would do this" Blair said with disgust. "God Chuck, you've only known for a few hours and already you're trying to weasel your way out."

"That's not what this is."

"Yes it is. For your information, it might not even matter if Nate and I used a condom or not. Which by the way we did."

"I don't follow."

"According to the obstetrician this happened before Thanksgiving."

"You didn't sleep with Nate until cotillion" Chuck said. "Did you?"

"Of course I didn't. What kind of a slut do you take me for?"

"Well I don't know, you dump one guy, then screw his best friend later that night, then you dump that guy after only a few weeks and later that night screw the first one. And yes, I know that came out really confusing."

"Point is Chuck, the doctor thinks I'm too far along for this to have happened at cotillion. While I'm far from sure, we at least need to acknowledge the possibility that this is your mistake."

"And mine alone? You had no part in it? Who came on to whom, really?"

"Chuck please don't make this any harder than it already is" Blair said, sounding vulnerable all of a sudden.

He leaned back in his seat and tried to decide what to think and feel. Who the hell wanted to be saddled with an unplanned baby at this age? Still a part of him had felt a touch of relief when Blair had dismissed his theory that proved the baby to be Nate's. While Chuck didn't want to become a father during high school he also didn't want Nate to be the one having a baby with Blair. It turned his stomach enough just to know that Nate got to touch her, so the thought of him having a family with her was a bit too much.

Then his mind turned into more practical things and he looked over at her.

"There is one easy way to solve this" he said. "I'll call and schedule an appointment for you to have an abortion. No baby means no scandal, no problems and most of all no child that we'll be saddled with for the rest of our lives. Nate would never have to know."

"You'd be okay with that?" Blair asked. "Just… getting rid of it. What's possibly your own flesh and blood. And not telling Nate that he might have been a father at one point."

"Be honest Blair… If there had been a way of making all this go away before you even knew about it, wouldn't you have liked that option? None of the impact that comes with having a baby, and none of the stuff that comes with knowingly terminating the pregnancy. If you have a miscarriage tomorrow will you really be all that upset?"

"What a horrible thing to say" Blair snorted. "Of course I would be!"

"Would you _really_?" Chuck asked. "Think about it. Blair Waldorf graduating high school with a baby? Babybjörns don't make good accessories to graduation gowns. What do you think is going to happen with your future if you carry this to term?"

"Believe me Chuck, I have thought about it. _Agonized_ actually. I get that for you an abortion is probably no worse than going out to get penicillin for a case of bronchitis. But I can't do it, and I won't."

"Perhaps you should."

"Clearly you want nothing to do with any of this" she said. "If you're looking for a way out then you know what? Just bolt. I can take care of this on my own. Or better yet, I can take care of this with Nate. With you out of the picture the equation would be really simple."

"You wouldn't" he said, shocked at her words. "You'd really pass my kid off as his? Let dear Nathaniel raise a child that might very well be _mine_, all without him knowing about it? What would you do if the baby came out the spitting image of me? How do you think you'll be able to lie your way out of that one?"

"I don't know" Blair whined. "But unlike you, I don't have the option of running away."

"Yes you do. Abortion."

"Is not happening."

"Then you'd better be damned sure whose baby that is before you breathe a word about it to Nate" Chuck said. "If it is his then I don't want to be implicated in any way."

"And if it's yours?"

"In that case… I don't know. I wasn't exactly prepared for this Blair! If it is mine then you and I will have to figure something out; I promise you I won't bolt. And Nate will hate us forever and ever, amen. Which is why you need to be sure."

"I can't be sure" Blair pointed out. "Paternity tests are taken after the baby is born."

"Can't they test the… water?"

"It's called amniotic fluid" Blair said with rolling eyes. "And it's far from a safe method. Even if it was, we'd still have to wait a while until they could do the test, and by then Nate would be well aware that I'm not just sporting a beer gut. We can't hide this from him Chuck. The sooner we tell him the better."

"_We_ tell him? You're the one with the bun in the oven."

"I can tell you're going to be a wonderful support if this is your brat" Blair snarled.

Chuck sighed and stared out the window. He didn't even want to think about what Bart would say when he heard about this. His father wasn't exactly fond of scandal, and this would be one for the ages. The great Bart Bass _possibly_ becoming a grandfather while his son was still a teen. The words '_possibly'_ and '_teen'_ were probably the last words his father would ever want to hear in the same sentence as the word '_pregnant_'.

At the same time there was something appealing about the scenario. He wanted Blair for himself, and if they were having a baby together then the most natural thing in the world would be for Blair to choose him over Nate.

But the more he thought about it the less Chuck wanted that to be how he got Blair. He wanted her to come to him out of her own free will, to _want_ to be his. He _demanded_ that she'd care about him the same way he cared about her, or else he wouldn't be able to be happy in a relationship with her. He didn't want her just to warm his bed or to keep him company. He wanted her to have genuine feelings for him.

At this moment he felt like he hated her a little. Why the hell did she have to love Nate so much? What had Nate ever done to deserve that love? Nate was the guy who slept with her best friend, then constantly refused her, then ran after the best friend again while letting Blair believe he wanted their relationship to work. Nate wasn't exactly Boyfriend of the Year, and while Chuck had done some pretty terrible things in his day he had never done anything that bad to a person he claimed to care about.

Except of course having sex with his best friend's girl. Even if she wasn't his girlfriend at the time, she was still Nate's by the rules of the bro code. Chuck had a strong feeling that Nate would forgive Blair for her transgression, seeing as how Nate had slept with Blair's best friend while they were still together. But he wouldn't forgive Chuck so easily.

Then again, if the baby was Chuck's there was a great risk Nate would never forgive Blair either. A constant living reminder of her tryst with his friend was probably too much to forgive. It would be for anyone.

* * *

Blair sat on her bed and nervously went over what she would tell Nate the next time she saw him. She was currently on her fifty-third version, and so far none had seemed good.

Dorota walked in with a trey of tea and scones, sitting it down on the small table at the foot of the bed. She looked at Blair and hesitated on her way out.

"Miss Blair…" she said. "What's wrong? I thought everything fine now that you and Mister Nate are back together."

"Everything is not fine Dorota" Blair said in an emotionless voice. "In fact… Everything is a mess."

Dorota walked back to the bed and took a seat next to Blair. Gently she caressed her arm, giving her some silent support.

"The thing is…" Blair said, unable to look at the woman who had practically raised her. "I… I'm pregnant."

She held her breath, waiting for Dorota's outraged cries. Dorota was religious and firmly believed in keeping traditions. Knocked up out of wedlock at seventeen wasn't in line with religion or traditions. Blair felt much worse about being a disappointment to Dorota than to her parents. But Dorota didn't react with outrage.

"Mister Nate?" she instead asked. "Or Mister Chuck?"

Blair looked up.

"That's where it gets really messy. Chuck, I think. Nate, I hope. Oh God, what am I going to do?"

She burst out crying and fell into Dorota's open arms. Dorota held her and shushed her softly. She had always believed her protégée to have a great future in store, and this did not quite fit with the plan. But she knew Blair better than anyone else, and knew that this wasn't the result of Blair being careless. She also knew that Blair understood the gravity of becoming a parent and that she would not just wave it aside and think that it was nothing. Above all she understood that the last thing Blair needed right now was to be scolded. She needed support, and that was what Dorota was there for.

"We will figure it out" she said, stroking Blair's hair.

"What am I going to do?" Blair asked again.

"You are going to talk to Mister Nate and Mister Chuck. And of course Miss Eleanor. From there, we figure it out together."

Blair nodded.

"They will all think less of me."

"They will not. Babies are happy gifts."

She didn't say anything else and neither did Blair. She cried in the older woman's arms until she ran out of tears. Then she pulled herself together and together with Dorota tried to figure out the best way to tell Nate the news.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope Chuck's reaction in this chapter was understandable. He is, after all, sixteen at this point and not dating Blair, so I think he definitely would consider abortion.

Anyway, please review =)


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the response so far! Everyone who reviewed seemed to agree with me on Chuck's reaction in the last chapter, which was a relief =) More dialogue from the show will be featured in this chapter, when Nate finds out what's going on.

I hope you enjoy the read!

* * *

"Mister Nate to see you, Miss Blair" Dorota announced from downstairs.

Blair looked up. She hadn't expected Nate to show up. She was in the middle of putting her makeup on after her shower, planning to meet up with Serena in thirty minutes. Before she could even remember what she and Dorota had landed on in the ideas department Nate walked into her room with his golden smile, making her heart melt and nearly stop with fear, all at the same time.

"Hey" he smiled. "I missed you today after school. This is the second day in a row you've hurried off before I could catch you."

"I'm a busy bee" Blair said, forcing herself to smile as widely as possible.

"So what's up?" Nate asked, taking a seat. "You've been acting a bit distant lately. Preoccupied with school?"

"Yes" Blair said. Then she nervously looked down at her hands. "No. Actually… Actually Nate there is something that I have to tell you."

"Okay" he shrugged. "Is it good or bad?"

"I'm sure if you ask me a few years down the line I'll tell you it was amazing news. But right now it feels a little like my world is coming to an end."

Nate looked worried.

"Blair is everything okay? This doesn't have anything to do with your… condition, does it?"

"Oh it involves a condition alright" Blair said. "Just not the one you're thinking of."

Nate looked completely dumbfounded. She didn't blame him.

"Well whatever the problem is…" he then said, walking over to her and taking her hand. "We're going to figure it out together. We're so much better together this time around, remember?"

She felt like she was going to cry. She wanted this so badly, and she was about to lose it. He wasn't going to look at her with those gentle eyes for much longer.

"Nate I forgave you for sleeping with Serena" she said.

"I know" he said simply.

"Which is why I hope you can forgive me for making a mistake too…"

He looked worried again.

"Did… Did you..?"

"It happened while we were broken up. The thing is, I lied to you at cotillion. Or maybe not so much lied as withheld information. That night wasn't my first time."

"Okay, so… So you slept with someone else. Someone I know?"

She looked at him with tears filling her eyes.

"You had just broken my heart, I made a decision I was in no condition to make. Look, we finally have a chance at a real relationship and I don't want to risk losing that."

"Answer me Blair. Who did you sleep with?"

"Please forgive me Nate… I don't know how I ended up sleeping with Chuck, I just-"

"Chuck?" he echoed with disbelief. "You slept with _Chuck_?"

She nodded miserably. He backed away and let go of her hand, letting his hand run through his hair instead.

"You slept with my best friend while we were still together" Blair reminded him. "This thing with Chuck it was… It just happened. You of all people can understand that, right?"

"So that's what we're doing now?" Nate asked. "Payback? Tit for tat?"

"_No_. I made a mistake, Nate."

"So you had one night with my best friend? Just like I had one night with yours?"

She writhed her hands and looked away. Nate groaned when he realized what her silence meant.

"You slept with him more than once?"

"Nate…"

"I cannot believe this. And what, now you expect me to be okay with this? This changes everything Blair."

"Before you get too upset…" Blair began.

"Don't tell me whether or not I can be upset!" Nate snarled.

"There is something else."

He stopped and looked at her.

"What? You slept with more people I hang out with?"

She took a deep breath and looked down again, unable to face him when she said what she had to say.

"There is a risk… that Chuck and I…"

"That what? Do you have _feelings_ for him?"

"I love _you_ Nate" she said, tears filling her eyes again.

"Well then you and Chuck what?"

"I'm pregnant and I don't know if it's his or yours."

* * *

Chuck had spent his afternoon smoking pot in the park together with three guys from his English class. By the time he got back to the Palace the high and begun to wear off, but for a moment he thought he was still stoned when he took one step outside his limo and found himself flung back against the car.

"So you slept with her, huh?" Nate's voice angrily said.

Chuck stared into his best friend's eyes and didn't know what to say. So Blair had dropped the bomb. Didn't she say they should do it together? Apparently not. He knew there was no point in denying it, but the look on Nate's face made it impossible to confirm it.

"You son of a bitch, I ought to kill you" Nate growled, having a bit too firm grip around Chuck's neck.

"Can we talk about this without your hands around my neck?" Chuck asked, for one not liking the position he was currently in and for another hoping to buy some time to think of the right thing to say.

"What did you do, did you get what you want like you do with all those other girls?" Nate asked, but at least took his hands away and walked a couple of steps. "Used her like one of your cheap broads?"

When Chuck got cornered or scared he usually reacted with anger. This time was no exception. And who the hell was Nate to cast stones in this particular scenario? How many chances had he had with Blair anyway?

"Yes Nathaniel" he finally answered. "I took what Blair kept throwing at you and you kept throwing back."

Nate was fuming. What Blair had wanted to give to Nate was not Chuck's to _take_. Blair was not just some girl he could have his way with and then toss aside.

"Oh so somehow you screwing Blair for sport is _my _fault?" he cried.

"I was there" Chuck argued.

"Oh, so you _cared_ about her? Did you happen to know that she's _pregnant_?"

"Keep your voice down" Chuck growled, not caring to have all his dirty secrets aired right outside his father's hotel.

"Did you hear me Chuck?"

"Yes I heard you, and yes I know! Serena told me."

"Oh Serena? So everybody knew but me? You screw my girlfriend, just use her like one of your tramps, and then you run around without a care in the world even though you know that you might have also knocked her up? I knew you were a manwhore but I at least thought that my _girlfriend_ would be safe."

"You guys were broken up" Chuck said.

"For how long? A week? An hour?"

Nate turned and began to walk away. Chuck followed.

"Look, I am sorry. I know how long you and I have been best friends, okay?"

"No it's not okay" Nate said. "You knocking up my girlfriend is _not_ okay. How do you think Blair feels right now? How do you think I feel?"

"How do you think _I_ feel?" Chuck shot back. "Did you think I wanted this to happen? Nate I feel terrible about all this."

"Yeah, well… From now on you stay away from me."

With that Nate continued walking, and Chuck didn't follow. He stood there for a moment, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened, and then he turned and walked towards the hotel. It was the first serious fight he had ever had with Nate and it stung like a bitch. He needed a drink, the sooner the better.

* * *

She should be used to this by now. She had already had the agonizing conversation with Dorota and with Nate. Kind of with Chuck too, but at least he wasn't the type to throw judgment every which way so she hadn't worried much about his reaction.

Still, no matter how much practice she had gotten, nothing would be able to prepare her for the conversation she was about to have with her mother. Eleanor Waldorf was not a woman prone to taking things in her stride. She was more the judge and jury type.

Blair's mouth was completely dry and she clasped her hands nervously in her lap when she stopped on the threshold to her mother's bedroom. Eleanor was sitting on the bed, looking through some designs, and hadn't looked up when Blair walked in. Blair wasn't sure if this made her more nervous, or a touch more relaxed.

The conversation with Dorota had gone better than expected. The conversation with Nate had been horrific. She was still an emotional mess after having had that conversation only a few hours ago, but she knew she had to talk to her mother tonight. She couldn't bear to keep the secret one more day.

"Blair?" Eleanor said, finally looking up. "Is there something on your mind?"

"Yes" Blair said. "Mom can I talk to you?"

"Any chance it could wait?" Eleanor asked and glanced down at her designs. "These need to be redone by tomorrow. I don't know what I was thinking. Flounces? I mean, really."

"I'd prefer to talk now" Blair said nervously.

"Well what is it?" her mother asked, taking off her glasses. "Have you gotten yourself in some kind of trouble? This is not about the new chef is it, because I think he's right, we should give GI a chance."

"No Mom, it's not about that" Blair said and took a step into the room. She took a deep breath. "Mother I'm pregnant."

Eleanor stared at her in silence for what felt like an eternity. Then she slowly put her glasses back on, then took them off again.

"Come again?" she finally said.

"I'm pregnant" Blair said miserably.

"You can't be _pregnant_" Eleanor said with a laugh.

"I am. Trust me, I'm sure."

Another round of silence.

"Blair I never in my life thought you would be so _irresponsible_" Eleanor then frowned. "How far along are you?"

"About seven weeks."

"Good God, and you don't say anything until _now_?"

"I didn't know until a couple of days ago" Blair said, almost crying.

"So you and Nate are having a baby, at this age? Well I guess the Captain will be thrilled. Now we _will_ be family, regardless of marriage."

"Nate… isn't necessarily the father."

The look that came over Eleanor's face would have made Blair laugh if she wasn't feeling so deeply miserable. She studied her toes for a few seconds before daring to look up at her mother, who seemed like she was about to have a stroke. Coincidentally the same reaction Blair had had when she first found out.

"If it's not Nate then who is it?" Eleanor asked with an annoyed tone.

"Chuck Bass."

"Chuck? You and Chuck Bass are going to have a baby?"

"God, why does everyone insist on jumping on _that_ possibility and nobody seems to give any credibility to Nate being the father?" Blair cried. "Seriously! Do people just naturally assume that Chuck's gene squad can out-swim Nate's any day of the week? Nate's an athlete, he's in much better shape than Chuck."

"Blair."

Blair sighed heavily.

"Truth is, it probably is Chuck."

"When did you even date Chuck?" Eleanor asked, and Blair wondered if it was comforting or ill-boding that her mother naturally assumed she would only have sex with boyfriends.

"We never actually dated" Blair admitted, and then set off on the defensive. "I know how that sounds, but it's not like I'm some slut who sleeps around. Nate and I broke up and I was really upset and I ended up with Chuck at Victrola, and there was this dance thing, and then in the limo we…"

"He didn't take advantage of you, did he?" Eleanor asked.

"No of course not. He would never, not to me. I wanted it too. And we saw each other a couple of more times after that."

"I wondered why you were spending so much time alone with him when you were broken up with Nate" Eleanor said. "I thought you were just grilling him to try and find a way to get Nate back."

"I did want Nate back" Blair said. "And when Nate wanted _me_ back I ended things with Chuck. But the doctor thinks I was already pregnant at that point."

"I'm utterly confused" Eleanor said. "I thought both boys were abroad for the holidays. When exactly did all this drama take place?"

"Around my birthday, and lasting up to cotillion."

"And you got yourself pregnant" Eleanor sighed. "Blair I hope you realize the consequences of this. A baby is not just some cute accessory. You can forget about Yale, forget about finishing high school with your friends, forget about any higher education for a good many years. And, you can forget about travelling and everything else you thought you would get to do before settling down and having a family."

"I _know_" Blair said.

Her mother was silent for a while again.

"Is this all because of the divorce?" she then asked.

"What?"

"Is this a result of you acting out because your father and I split up?"

"No Mother, this is an _accident_ that happened because… because I'm a teenager and I make stupid decisions sometimes."

"Exactly. You're a teenager. A child. And now you're having a child. I take it that's what you plan on doing, since you're telling me about it."

"You think I've been pregnant before and had an abortion, and chose not to tell you?" Blair asked, shocked at the idea.

"At this point I don't know what to think."

"I told you Mother, I don't sleep around. Chuck… There's only been Chuck and Nate, okay? Ever. And I haven't been pregnant before."

"_Are_ you keeping it?" Eleanor asked.

"Yes. And I'm going to need your help, Mother."

Her mother sighed heavily.

"First of all, I've got to call Anne and Bart" she said, standing up. "You have spoken to Nate and Chuck, haven't you?"

"Yes of course."

"Then if I were you I would go take a hot bath and then go to bed early, because you are going to have a very long, hard nine months ahead of you. And the rest of your life is going to be even more difficult."

She walked past Blair to go make the calls. Blair stood alone in her mother's bedroom and tried to figure out if that had gone well or gone terribly. She felt herself shiver. That was one less difficult conversation, but she still had countless left. She was almost glad she wouldn't be able to see her father's face when he heard the news.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please leave a review!

I will try to update a couple of more times within the next ten days or so, but no promises. Next weekend I will be moving, and I probably won't have Internet access for a while after that (and probably not much time to sit by the computer even if I did have access). If I'm really lucky this Internet-free period will only last a day or two, in which case you won't notice I was gone. But most likely there will be nothing new from me for the first week or so of September.

Anyhow… Have a great day! =)


	4. Chapter 4

Update spree! Since it might be a while before I can update anything at all again (or respond to your reviews – apologies in advance) I'm updating all my current stories today before I go into radio silence.

This story only gets a brief update, and this time it's completely free of show dialogue. Impressive, huh? ;)

* * *

The six people present in the Waldorf sitting room were all in competition over who was feeling the most uncomfortable. When Eleanor Waldorf had heard the news from her daughter she had called Anne Archibald and Bart Bass and asked them to come over and talk it all through. They had agreed to meet the following evening, and here they all were. Chuck and Nate were there as well, and of course Blair, who had never felt unhappier in her life. She sat on the divan, eating grapes just to have something to do with her hands, feeling the eyes of three disapproving adults on her.

"I couldn't believe it when Chuck told me" Bart said. "Eleanor I'm sorry."

"Let's not waste time being sorry or passing blame anywhere" Eleanor said, trying to be practical in an effort to keep her cool. "We have things to discuss. Blair is pregnant, and either Nathaniel or Charles is the father."

"Chuck tells me the baby was conceived in November" Bart said, turning to Blair. "And you were sleeping with them both at the time?"

Blair flinched at the question which was more of a statement than a question.

"No" she said. "Chuck and I were together in November and early December. I broke it off with him before I got back together with Nate and we…"

"Yeah, broke it off with me about ten minutes before" Chuck snorted.

"Shut up" Nate growled, leaning against the wall.

"If that's the case then there's no need for Anne and Nate to even be here" Bart said. "You were already pregnant by the time you got into bed with Nate."

"There's no knowing for sure just yet" Eleanor said. "At present we must operate under the assumption that it could be either one of them."

Chuck tried to catch Nate's eye, but his friend refused to look at him. So he turned his eyes to Blair instead, who looked miserable where she sat on the divan, shoving grapes in her mouth. At least she had been spared being present when Bart found out. His father had not yelled or screamed, simply sighed dejectedly as if he had always known something like this would happen. Chuck knew Blair was upset over how she had disappointed Eleanor and Harold, but he would have taken disappointment any day over resignation. At least her parents expected something from her.

"All we know for sure," Eleanor continued, "is that my daughter is going to become a mother before she's out of high school. And either your son Anne, or yours Bart, will become a father. Beyond that it's just guesswork."

"Well this could not have come at a more inappropriate time" Bart sighed.

Blair got angry.

"Excuse me, but I don't check your schedule before I go about my life to see when the timing is good for you" she snarled. "Besides, I'm not the only one at fault here. Chuck's the one who came at a bad time."

Chuck tried to turn laughter into a cough while Eleanor's and Bart's jaw fell collectively and Anne looked like she might faint.

"Blair!" Eleanor exclaimed.

"I simply meant that high school is far too early in life for any of you to become parents" Bart said.

"That still doesn't put it all on me" Blair countered, feeling accused even though he hadn't directly said anything of the sort.

"She's right" Nate said from his spot by the wall. "This is not her fault alone. Whether it's me or Chuck, one of us played a part in this too."

"Judging by what we know, Chuck is the one to blame" Bart said. "Anne, I'm sorry you have to be there for this, I know you have enough going on as it is."

"It's fine" Nate's mother said, clearly shaken. "Like Eleanor said, we can't know for sure. Not yet."

"So what do we do now?" Eleanor asked. "How do we proceed? We need to make arrangements for the future and we need to know who the baby's father is."

"They can predict dates of conception pretty accurately these days" Bart said. "And we could test the amniotic fluid. Other than that we have to wait until the baby comes before we can do a proper paternity test."

"I don't want any needles stuck through my belly" Blair objected. "We're not testing anything so long as this thing is still inside of me."

"Your mother is right Blair" Bart said. "We have to know. We'll do a sonogram and see if it confirms the estimated date. If it does then I guess there isn't really any doubt. But we will still want a paternity test when the child is born. I hope you realize what a scandal this will end up being."

"Dad" Chuck sighed. "You're making her uncomfortable. Stop talking like she's some major slut. You get around far more than she does."

"Can we stop talking about the sex bit?" Nate begged. "We all know what happened, why linger on it?"

"If this is Chuck's mistake then that means the baby will be an heir to Bass Industries" Bart said. "I need to be sure."

"This is not medieval Europe, the line of succession is not the most relevant issue to discuss here" Chuck commented dryly.

Nate listened to the conversation going back and forth and stared down at his shoes. He didn't know what he was hoping for. His father would probably have a heart attack if it turned out he was going to be a grandfather on top of everything else, and his mother had had about as much scandal as she could take. Nate had no idea how to be a parent, and he most certainly didn't know that he was ready for the responsibility. But he didn't want the baby to be Chuck's either. Chuck didn't deserve to share something that special with Blair. He wouldn't be dependable enough. And the thought of Chuck having a baby with Nate's childhood sweetheart was enough to make Nate sick.

For the time being he had promised Blair he would keep up appearances of the two of them being still together. He wasn't sure why he had told her he would do that. On some level he knew that his escapade with Serena meant he didn't have the right to feel as angry with Blair as he did, so maybe that was why. And as much as he wanted to hate Blair right now he couldn't stop caring about her right off the bat, and if the child was his then they would have to work these issues out somehow. He would stand by her, for the time being, until they knew more. He was far from prepared to actually _be_ the loving boyfriend, but outwardly he could continue the appearance of the two of them dating. If the baby turned out to be Chuck's, like Bart seemed convinced it would, Nate would end up looking like a fool having stuck with a girl who got knocked up by his best friend. But he would have to take that chance in case Chuck wasn't the father. If Nate was the father then him and Blair would have to find a way to make things work. Not as lovers but at least as friends.

Blair meanwhile continued eating the grapes, getting worried as she was beginning to run out of them. The three adults had begun to discuss how to handle all sorts of scenarios, everything from which doctors Blair should go to, to how involved Nate and Chuck should be up until the point when they knew who the father was. Hearing them speak over her head like that about matters that were supposed to be intimate and private made the grapes difficult to swallow. It seemed like each new happening since she had learned the truth two days ago was a lesson in new levels of humiliation.

"May a humble teenager speak?" Chuck suddenly said.

"What is it Chuck?" Bart asked, annoyed at being interrupted.

"Have either of you stopped for two seconds and asked Blair what she thinks about all of this? I've been listening to the three of you for the past five minutes discussing this but nobody has thought to include Blair in the conversation. She's the pregnant one. I'd say it's mainly up to her to decide."

"All three of you are just teens" Anne objected. "You're a sweet girl Blair, but you are still merely a girl. It does seem better to let us adults work some of these things out."

"Really?" Chuck said. "I mean no disrespect Anne, but I care more what Blair thinks of how much Nate and I should be involved than what you all think of it."

"I hate to say this but I agree with Chuck" Nate said. "We may all still be young but obviously two of us are going to have to finish growing up real fast."

"That is, of course, unless you decide to terminate" Bart said to Blair. "There's still time for that, if that's what you want."

"She doesn't want to terminate, Dad" Chuck said, annoyed with his father.

"You just said we should let Blair speak, so let her speak."

"I already asked her" Chuck said. "If Blair wanted an abortion I would support that, but since we're all here in the first place I'd say it's pretty clear where she stands on the issue."

"Stop speaking for her" Nate said with annoyance.

"Blair?" Eleanor said, trying to prod her daughter to joining the discussion.

"I'm keeping it" Blair said, feeling like she had reached her boiling point for tonight. "And I'm deeply sorry about all this, about inconveniencing you all like this. I'm especially sorry that I was in love with one boy but still slept with the other. I can't change that now, and I can't change what's happening and since I unfortunately can't shut you all up I'm going to go upstairs and have some peace and quiet. When we know more about who the father is _then_ we can start arguing about how big his role should be. Until then the decisions are up to me and I'm sorry Anne, sorry Bart, but neither one of you have any business voicing an opinion in how I handle my prenatal care. I'm old enough to have sex, therefore I'm old enough to take responsibility and make decisions about my pregnancy. Now if you'll excuse me."

She stood up and walked briskly out of the room and up the stairs with her head held high. Chuck and Nate both studied their shoes. An awkward silence followed, until Bart broke it by getting up.

"I guess that concludes business for tonight" he said. "She does have a point. Let's wait until she's had another sonogram and maybe we can shed some more light on this."

"Thank you for having us, Eleanor" Anne said, and then gave her son a stern look. "Nate let's go."

As they all got up to leave Chuck walked over to Nate and put his hand on his arm, eager to get a chance to talk to his best friend and try to mend what had been broken. Nate immediately shrugged him off.

"I told you to stay away from me."

Chuck felt wounded all over again as Nate walked to the elevator with his mother. Couldn't they at least talk? He hadn't thought Nate would be too upset with him to give him the time of day. As it was, it was probably for the best that Bart was having some last words with Eleanor, delaying them enough so that the Archibalds left first. Additional awkwardness in the elevator with Nate and his mother, who had in a way been a mother figure to Chuck as well, would just be the icing on the crap cake.

While his father finished speaking to Blair's mother Chuck put his coat on and leaned against the wall by the elevator. So far this all sucked, from beginning to end. In addition, having his father so involved in his love life was just plain humiliating.

He glanced at the stairs Blair had disappeared up just a few minutes ago. Blair had stormed off and Nate had shrugged him off. It had been a long time since Chuck had felt this lonely.

* * *

The line about Chuck being the one who came at a bad time is sadly not one I can take credit for. I borrowed it from the first novel of Vilhelm Moberg's amazing "_Emigrants_" suite, where it was uttered by a character who couldn't be more different from Blair (and it was not meant nearly as sexual as it comes across today), but it seemed to fit well in here so I took the liberty of borrowing it. These books have nothing in common with this show, but I still recommend them to anyone who likes to read, because they are truly wonderful.

And with that said, I will see you soon, I hope! Thanks for reading, and please review =)


	5. Chapter 5

Well I'm back! For the time being at least. And as usual I want to thank all who reviewed. You guys make my day. I'm glad people liked Chuck's actions in the last chapter =) Hope you'll still be okay with him after this one ;)

This is another chapter where I use material from the actual show. These chapters will get fewer and fewer as the story progresses, but at this point the storyline hasn't yet begun to stray too far from the events on the show.

So anyhoo, on to the chapter!

* * *

"So I've made a decision" Blair told Serena as they walked slowly to school.

"Pray tell."

"This whole pregnancy business is going to be the scandal of the century at Constance Billard" Blair said. "There's no avoiding it. The queen falls pregnant and we don't even know who the father is. I'm so tacky and movie-of-the-week-esque that I could just cry myself to sleep every night."

"That's the decision you've made? To cry yourself to sleep every night?"

"I've decided to beat the scandal to the punch" Blair said. "By declaring that I'm pregnant and making it clear that I'm not ashamed of it I can still regain the upper hand. It will have been my _choice_ to get pregnant and anyone who thinks less of me for it is an ignorant, narrow-minded judgmental… well, they're Dan Humphrey."

"I'll ignore that" Serena said, though obviously not too pleased with the remark on her boyfriend.

"People are going to look down on me no matter what I do" Blair said. "We've never had a teenage pregnancy at this school before. I need to take control of what's going on before it can be revealed through gossip and marketed as a shameful secret."

"Your strategy is good" Serena said with a nod. "But how are you going to spin the paternity thing to your advantage? Desired pregnancy or not, there's still the whole issue of Chuck versus Nate. Everybody knows they're fighting, they just don't know what about yet. Once they do it's going to be hard to overlook."

"I haven't quite worked that detail out just yet" Blair said. "Hopefully I will have a few more days to think about that particular predicament."

"Well whatever the drama will be, you know I'm in your corner" Serena said.

"Thanks S" Blair said with a hint of a smile.

They approached the Met steps and saw Blair's minions waiting.

"Oh would you look at that?" Blair said. "S I'm going to knock this motherhood right out of the park. If I can get my minions to gather in a neat and timely fashion then how hard can it be to raise a baby?"

Serena chuckled and followed Blair up the steps.

"Disperse" Blair said, motioning to Penelope and Hazel to make way. "Coming through."

The two girls looked up at her with none of the respect they usually had. Blair frowned. What now?

"Did you not hear me? Make way."

"Sorry Blair" Penelope said with a smarmy smile. "We don't take orders from you anymore. Consider yourself dethroned."

"What are you talking about?" Blair frowned.

Meanwhile Serena had fished out her phone and turned the sound back on, noticing a text blast from Gossip Girl.

"B…" she said warily.

Blair looked over and saw Serena nodding towards her phone. She snatched the phone away from Serena and had a look. Her face went white.

"_Looks like the Virgin Queen isn't as pure as she pretended to be. If Blair Waldorf lied about that what else might she be lying about? Oh B, didn't you know to always practice safe sex? They do say that all is fair in love and war, but the baby trap is just so dated. Looks like B and N's future will be full of rattles and diapers and teddybears, oh my!_"

"Nice going B" Penelope said smugly. "Couldn't catch him on your own merit so you found another way?"

Blair stared at her minions at a loss for words. She looked over to Serena to find some support and comfort. Her best friend gave her a sympathetic look. Her whole plan had just gone out the window and she had very little time to spin this back in her favor. If she couldn't do it now it wouldn't happen at all.

* * *

Nate had read the text blast on his way to school and had trouble deciding whether to panic or get stoned. Anything other than going to school and facing the crowds seemed highly appealing right now. Luckily there weren't too many people there when he arrived, although it was impossible to escape the looks from those who were around. Of course everybody had seen the blast. Everyone always saw the blasts, teachers included.

He reached the top of the stairs by his locker and paused for a moment to gather some strength. This day was horrible and it hadn't even started yet. In the corner of his eye he saw a familiar figure and turned around to see Jenny coming up the stairs. It was clear from the look she gave him that she too had seen the blast.

"I saw it" she said.

"Yeah and Blair's going to freak out" Nate said. "Me, I'm kind of getting used to scandal by now. She will not take it so well."

"Why are you so concerned what Blair will do?" Jenny asked. "This is her mess, let her deal with it. They just got the guy wrong, once that's cleared up then-"

"Whoa, whoa wait a second" Nate said. "Got the guy wrong?"

"Yeah, I mean…"

She paused and looked away, biting her bottom lip.

"You mean people know about… about Blair and…"

"People don't" Jenny said. "At least not yet."

"Let's just hope they don't find out" Nate said. "Do you know who else knows besides you? Wait, how do _you_ even know?"

"Nate it can't stay a secret" Jenny said. "People will put two and two together real fast. It's admirable that you would pose as the father when you're really not, but at some point or other it-"

"Look, just…" Nate said, stopping her before she could say anything else. "Just keep the secret for now, okay?"

"But you _are_ going to stay with Blair?" Jenny asked.

"I know you're friends with her" Nate said. "But this is between me and Blair and… and you know who. It's complicated. Right now I need to try and find a way to save all our dignities before this thing gets way out of hand."

He walked off to get his books from his locker while Jenny remained in place. She was beginning to wonder about one detail. She had thought Chuck was the father and Nate obviously knew he had been with Blair, but Nate didn't seem as angry as she would have thought over it. Almost as if he wasn't sure that the baby wasn't his own. Was it really possible that it could be Nate, and Blair had no idea whether or not it was?

Having been scorned by Blair one too many times, and having nurtured a crush on Nate for a while now, the last thing Jenny wanted was to see Nate stay with Blair when neither of them knew whose baby it really was. He deserved better and Blair deserved worse.

While she tried to make up her mind about her next move she was briskly pushed aside by Chuck, hurrying up the stairs.

"Out of my way, Little Nay" he said, apparently in the mood for nicknaming.

Jenny watched him disappear down the hallway and made up her mind. Spilling the beans about Chuck and Blair would push Blair so far down the social ladder she'd never be able to climb her way back up again, Nate would no longer stand by her and Chuck, who had thus far gotten by unscathed, would be on the receiving end of scandal. If there was one person she would be delighted to get a hit on it was Chuck. Nate would probably be upset that she had spread the secret, but she could always claim that it wasn't her. After all, someone else was bound to put two and two together real soon.

She wrote a quick text to Gossip Girl. Then she walked back down the stairs to go meet up with the girls on the steps.

* * *

Before Blair had come up with a new strategy everybody's phones beeped with an incoming text message.

"What now?" Serna groaned.

They all read the new blast Gossip Girl had sent out. Things had just gone from bad to worse for Blair, who realized after only reading two sentences that all hopes of regaining control of the situation were gone.

"_My, my, the plot thickens. Looks like N might not be heading for bibs and bassinettes after all. Who's your Daddy, B? Baby Daddy, that is? Turns out N wasn't the only guy invited into the queen's bedchambers. Talk about doing the nasty, or should I say being nasty? As for who the other contender is, we'll just have to wait and C…_"

"Oh my God…" Blair whispered.

"Nice going B" Penelope said.

Blair turned to Serena. She was the only one besides Nate and Chuck who knew about this particular detail, and neither one of the guys would spill something like that.

"Serena" she said accusingly, with an icy stare.

"Like I said" Penelope continued. "You've been dethroned. Considering you can barely manage your own messy affairs you're in no position to rule the school. Your days as queen are over as of right now. You and your bastard can go rule a suburban school populated by kids from trailer parks."

"I cannot believe you" Blair said to Serena.

"Me? What did I do?"

Blair held up her phone and nodded towards it, pointing out what she felt was the obvious. Serena frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Face it B…" Penelope went on. "You're done."

"Do you realize who you're talking to?" Blair snorted.

"You mean a self-righteous bitch who always sat on her own high horse, judging everyone else?" Hazel said cockily, finding courage in Penelope's new apparent rise to power.

"Pregnant little hypocrite" Penelope added.

Blair looked over at Kati and Iz. They looked unhappy and apologetic, but clearly they weren't going to take a stand and side with Blair. Loyalty apparently lay with the crown firsthand and not so much with whoever had worn it. Kati and Iz had been her friends since kindergarten but they weren't sticking up for her now.

"Me being pregnant is none of your business" Blair said to Penelope. "Better _having_ a child than still _being_ a child."

"Do Nate and Chuck feel the same way?" Penelope asked. "'Course, only one of them will have to chime in. Which one is the father, again?"

"Enough" Blair said, trying to hang on to whatever was left of her dignity.

"The boyfriend and the best friend…" Penelope went on.

"Pretty classy" Hazel side-kicked.

"Face it Blair, you can no longer make any claims to the crown" Penelope said.

"We don't let skanks like you rule" Hazel added.

"From now on you bow to me, 'queen' B" Penelope said before cocking her neck and strutting up to take her place on the stairs.

Blair watched silently as Hazel followed Penelope. Kati and Iz looked at her with deeply apologetic faces before joining the other two. Blair swallowed hard to push down the bile that was rising in her throat. She turned around to face Serena.

"How could you?"

"Could I what?"

"You were the only one who knew about me and Chuck" she said. "This little gem of gossip can only have come from you."

"I don't believe this" Serena said. "You think _I_ tipped off Gossip Girl? B I was standing right next to you when the blast went out!"

"You expect me to believe Gossip Girl found out through osmosis? Someone sung like a canary and right now you are looking pretty feathery."

"I can't believe you would accuse me of something like that" Serena said. "B I swear, I did not tell Gossip Girl!"

"Did you tell anyone else? Did you tell Dan?"

Serena backtracked.

"What?"

Blair shook her head with disbelief.

"You did."

"Dan doesn't care enough to spill the secret, and besides he's a good guy who wouldn't do such a thing."

"No but his sister would. You told your low-rent boyfriend who told his social climbing sister who wears my hand-me-downs and she blabbed to Gossip Girl. Thanks to you and Jenny everyone knows the intimate details of my private life and now there's no way I'll be able to control this. I hope you're happy."

"I can't believe you're attacking Dan and Jenny" Serena said.

"Did you or did you not tell him?"

"I did" Serena finally admitted. "But only because you weren't dealing with it and I wanted advice on how to help you."

"Sharing my secrets with someone I loathe is supposed to help me? When are you going to get it, Serena? People like Dan and Jenny hate us and they will do anything they can to shove us down from our positions. Telling a Humphrey about my thing you might as well have loaded a gun and given it to them while pointing out the bulls-eye on my forehead."

"This isn't Dan's fault" Serena argued.

"No" Blair agreed. "It's yours. But I suppose you're happy now. You shot your reputation to hell a long time ago and now you've successfully damaged mine as well."

"If that's the way you feel then you can weather this storm alone" Serena said. "I didn't sleep with Chuck and Nate."

"You've never slept with Chuck? Wow, one guy in New York you haven't gotten to yet."

"I'm not the one who's pregnant and doesn't know who by" Serena said. "You brought this scandal on yourself. I'm done trying to clean up your mess."

She strode off just as Jenny arrived on the scene. She had just received a text from Hazel updating her on the Met steps revolution. Blair shot her a death glare.

"Well if it isn't the fountain of gossip" she said.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Jenny claimed, walking past Blair. "Excuse me, Penelope is waiting."

"Jenny" Blair said firmly, causing the other girl to stop in her tracks. "I'm not a fool so don't take me for one. I know who sent the tip to Gossip Girl. It is highly unlikely that I will ever forgive you for sticking your pre-nose-job snout in my personal business, but if you walk away from me now I will ruin you."

Jenny glared back at her, seizing her opponent. Blair might still be talking big but it was evident that there was no longer any power behind the words.

"How are you going to do that?" she asked.

Blair watched her turn on her heel and stride up to the new queen to grovel like the pathetic little lapdog she was. Blair turned around and walked back to school, feeling like she might faint. Was there no end to how disastrous the situation could become?

She got to school, going through the rest of the day in a haze. She caught sight of Nate a few times but he only looked back at her once, with eyes that seemed to despise her. The Gossip Girl double-whammy was obviously the deal breaker, or he would have stayed true to his word and stood by her like he said he would.

Chuck was nowhere to be found. He had taken off early that morning, right after the second blast. At this point Blair wished he had stuck around. At least he wouldn't back down just because there was a scandal. He was Chuck Bass, he was used to people at school scandalizing over his escapades. Wasn't this pretty much what he had wanted anyway? To have her driven from Nate? She constantly tried to ignore it but she knew that the facts pointed to Chuck being the baby's father, and since he wanted Blair this would surely be good news. She had nobody left but him and all things pointed to that she was carrying his child.

When the school day was finally over she fled, no longer bothering to try and hold her head up high. She walked slowly through the city, sometimes headed for the Palace, sometimes heading back home. She couldn't make up her mind. She kept thinking back on everything that had happened and tried to evaluate her options. Nate and his sweet, romantic warmth was no longer an option. The passion she had experienced with Chuck was. In a way, that wasn't so bad. She had felt alive with Chuck, not safe like she did with Nate but alive and alert. Chuck was risky and dangerous but he was also exciting. And he had always been there, her whole life. Most people thought you couldn't trust Chuck Bass as far as you could throw him, that loyalty meant nothing to him, but Blair knew otherwise. When he did feel loyalty to someone he was truly dependable.

It was dark by the time she had finally made up her mind to go talk to him. After all, what other option did she have? She tried his room at the Palace but he wasn't there, so she went to the nearby bar where he would go for a drink when he wanted some seclusion. He was indeed there, sitting by the bar with a scotch in front of him, looking pensive. She walked inside and took a seat, but didn't order anything.

Chuck looked up at her with dark eyes. He wished she would just go away and leave him the hell alone. It was her fault he was in this mess. If she hadn't made a pass at him in the limo he would have never fallen in love with her and he wouldn't have had to pay the price of his best friend. Blair could go to hell for all he cared, and take the damn baby with her. He didn't want to feel the way he did about her. He wanted to go back to the way things had been. Infatuation was a horrible thing, just look at what it had made him do. Betray his best friend, and for what? A zero percent chance at Blair? The idea of having her, being in love with her and have her feel the same way about him? Love was pointless. It didn't last, and if it by some oddity did it would only bring misery.

He had gone over it in his head over and over. Friendship was for life. Love was for the moment. Passion always withered. He didn't believe all those romance stories of true love lasting a lifetime. He had never seen it happen. True, his father had never been able to get over the death of his wife, but Chuck was pretty sure Bart only loved a memory at this point. An idealized version of a woman, stripped of whatever flaws she had had. And that love was bittersweet. It sure hadn't made Bart a happy man.

What love did do however was mess up your brain. He couldn't believe he had tossed aside his pride and actually _chased after_ a girl. Plotted to win her over. Only to look like a complete fool when she walked away from him and chose his best friend instead. So far that stupid emotion had caused him to abandon pride, forget about keeping his head clear and drive his best friend away. Infatuation with Blair had cost him Nate. It didn't seem like a smart trade. Even though right now he really wanted her still he knew that feeling would someday go away. All he would be left with then was a girl he would have shown far too much vulnerability to, and no best friend. Friendships had the possibility of being for life, and he had given that up for a moment of happiness with a girl he had fallen in love with. Love was far too powerful an emotion and Chuck did not like being controlled by someone or something more powerful than him. The feeling that had driven him to do so much for one girl scared him because he was so powerless against it.

Now said girl was sitting next to him at the bar, probably for no other reason than that he was her last option. Nate didn't want her anymore. She hadn't come to Chuck because she wanted to, she had come because she had no other choice. Great, that was the stuff good relationships were built on.

If it hadn't been for the pregnancy Chuck would have told Blair to go to hell. It would have hurt like hell to do so, but by rejecting her he might still have a shot at mending his friendship with Nate. Unfortunately there _was_ a pregnancy, and with it the likelihood of parenthood. Chuck had thought about it and decided he didn't really care. Not until Blair could prove that the baby was his. Up until that point he would consider the baby to be Nate's. He wouldn't allow himself to care more about her than he really did because there was too much to lose.

The look he was now giving her was far from welcoming but she had steeled herself against his moods and against everyone else's reactions. A full day of being stared at, pointed at and gossiped about had made her quite weary and a few spiteful glares from Chuck would not be enough to affect her right now. She knew he cared about her, no matter how sullenly he glared at her.

"I came to congratulate you in person" she said. "Because of you my relationship with Nate is ruined, and my relationship with Serena, my parents, all of my friends… Even little Jenny thinks she's too good for me, so… Here's your queen without a crown. Just like you wanted. I have no one to turn to but you."

"Actually you don't even have me" he replied, almost smiling at how she really seemed to think that he would throw open his arms and welcome her when she came to him like this.

"Enough."

"I'll try to be more succinct."

Blair listened with growing horror as he embarked on a little speech on how she was now damaged goods, like his father's sweaty old horse, and how nobody could want her anymore at this point. He couldn't be serious. All this backstage drama with how she wasn't allowed within three feet of Nate, and now this? What the hell was wrong with him?

"That's too bad" she finally said. "At least I guess you'll join me in praying that the baby is Nate's."

Having had as much humiliation as she could stomach she grabbed her purse and got up from her barstool. Chuck looked up when she left, feeling a sneaking suspicion that he had just thrown away more than he realized. Either way he would be on the losing side. If the baby was Nate's then Nate would get to have it all. If the baby was Chuck's then Chuck would get a baby with a girl who only wanted him as her last resort, and a friendship to Nate that was ruined beyond repair. He picked up his glass and emptied it, wishing he had never even met Blair Waldorf. Why did she have to be so damn hard to put from your mind?

* * *

Blair returned home and found her mother sitting on the divan, working on a new design. Seeing her mother she knew exactly what she needed. She had to get away from here and Eleanor was the only person who could help her. She slowly walked over to her mother, taking off her headband as she went. Eleanor looked up at her and looked concerned.

"You okay?" she asked.

"No" Blair trembled.

"Are you feeling sick?" Eleanor asked. "Faint? You have eaten properly, haven't you? When I was pregnant with you I got very lightheaded if I didn't eat properly."

"It's not that" Blair said.

"Then what is it?"

"Mom, I was thinking I could go visit Dad in France."

"Now?"

"Yes" Blair said. "I could go to school there, and I could have the baby there. Away from all the gossip and the scandal. All this drama can't be good for the baby. France would be just what the baby and I need."

Eleanor studied her daughter and took off her glasses. Blair was close to tears. Something must have happened during the day.

"Are you sure that's appropriate?" she said after a moment's silence.

"Do you think Dad would take me?" Blair asked.

"Of course he would" Eleanor said.

"Even with the baby?"

"He would be thrilled to have you there, but Blair… Don't you think you would be better off here? With me and Dorota? Harold is an empathic man but he knows nothing of being pregnant. You need women around you. And what of the baby's father? Bart won't let you leave the country while you're possibly carrying his grandchild."

"Mom please" Blair sobbed, sinking down to her knees in front of her mother. "Please try and help me. I can't stay here. I just can't."

"Honey…" Eleanor said, caressing Blair's head. "What has _happened_?"

"Everything is awful. Nate won't speak to me and neither will Chuck. Everyone at school looks at me like…"

She trailed off and buried her face in her mother's lap. Eleanor gently continued to stroke her hair. She had rarely seen Blair like this. The thought of letting her daughter leave while she was going through a pregnancy at such a young age was almost unthinkable. Eleanor wanted her close. Becoming a mother at seventeen didn't mean you no longer needed your own mother, in fact it meant the exact opposite. And as she had told Blair, Bart Bass would not take lightly to the possible mother of his grandchild leaving for France.

"I can have this baby on my own" Blair sobbed. "When it's born we can find out who the father is."

"Blair I am very concerned."

"So book a flight."

"Running away is not the answer. None of this is going to go away, and it will only get worse if you leave now."

"I'll take my chances."

"Sooner or later you will have to come back."

"By then the worst will have blown over."

She looked up at her mother and Eleanor studied her carefully.

"Mom, _please_ do this for me."

Eleanor thought it over. She could probably relocate her business to Paris for a while, since she did a lot of work from there anyway. That way she could stay near Blair without her daughter having to stay in New York. Maybe all of this was too much for her. Perhaps a few months away would do her good. And she and Harold could see their daughter through this together. As for Bart, and Anne Archibald as well for that matter, they could be handled. Regardless of the paternity of the child, Eleanor was the mother of the girl having the baby. It was her job to look after Blair.

"We'll get you out" she said finally. "I'll book you a flight. Tomorrow. We'll figure the rest out in Paris."

"Thank you" Blair said.

* * *

When Blair failed to show up for school the next day Serena wasn't surprised or worried. But by the end of the day she began to regret having walked away from Blair the day before. Dan had reminded her that friends forgave each other and stood up for each other and Serena intended to do exactly that. But when she arrived at the Waldorf penthouse Dorota told her that Blair was leaving for France. Serena couldn't believe it and asked to speak to Eleanor, but she was busy on the phone arranging to relocate her main office to Paris for a few months. In a hurry Serena went over to the helipad Dorota directed her to and found Blair waiting for the chopper.

"Blair!" she said as she stepped out of the cab.

"What?" Blair asked. "You want a lift to JFK?"

"I just spoke to Dorota. She said you're leaving for France."

"I never knew Dorota had such a big mouth."

"B, I'm your best friend… Dorota thought I already knew."

"Well now you do."

"What I know is how you felt when I left without telling you."

"Is there a reason you're here?" Blair asked.

"Stay" Serena said. "You can't leave. You're going to have Nate or Chuck's baby and whoever is the father deserves to be a part of that."

"So that's the only reason you came? To protect your former paramour's rights to an unborn child that might be his?"

"No. B take it from someone who knows, you can't outrun a scandal. Sooner or later it catches up with you. I was gone for a year and when I returned it was as if I hadn't been gone a day. As a matter of fact it had only gotten worse. I wish I had stayed and dealt with it, and I really wish you would do the same now."

"It's different" Blair said. "Your scandal had to be weathered and then it blew over. Mine is only going to grow bigger over the next seven months or so, and then turn into a human being forever tied to me. It's not going to blow over."

"It will" Serena said. "You're Blair Waldorf. Remember your plan. Walk back into school with your head held high and show all of those petty bitches that you couldn't care less what they think of you. That their opinions don't define your value. People don't tell you who you are, you tell them. Act like you haven't got a care in the world and eventually people will forget why they pointed and stared in the first place."

"Nate won't. Chuck…"

"They will come around too. You'll see. But I guarantee you Blair, if you leave now whichever one of them made that baby with you will never forgive you."

"You give them way too much credit. They'll be ecstatic that I'm gone. They can fall in guy-love all over again with me and the child out of the picture."

"Stay…" Serena said again.

"I can't Serena" Blair said, tears filling her eyes. "My whole life has fallen apart."

"So rebuild it. You're Blair Waldorf. You don't give up without a fight. I won't let you start now. I will fight with you."

"I'm so embarrassed" Blair said. "I can't even face myself in the mirror; how can I face everyone else we know?"

"It's only embarrassing if you let them think you're ashamed" Serena argued. "You are doing the brave thing here, B. You could have taken an easy out and had an abortion but you chose to give your baby life. And the baby will have you, and Aunt Serena. And if those two boys can't work out their differences then that's their problem. Whoever the father is, it will work out in the end. You have me."

"You promise?"

Serena nodded.

"Promise."

She hugged Blair tight.

"Thank you" Blair whispered.

"Who needs Nate? If he leaves over this then he wasn't the love of your life to begin with. I love you, and I'm not leaving."

Blair laughed a little. Truthfully it felt good not to leave for France. She knew Serena and her mother were right. She had to face the scandal here and now or she would never be able to return at all. And at least she knew she wasn't alone.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Chuck was far from as supportive in this chapter, and I debated with myself for a while whether or not to follow the same path as the show with Chuck pushing Blair away. In the end I decided that he probably still would at such an early stage as this. His defenses would probably go up and my guess is he'd react by pushing Blair away, even with a baby involved. Hope you think I made the right choice =) Either way, write a review and let me know!


	6. Chapter 6

Update time again!

So far people seem quite okay with the stuff I use from the actual show. The further away in the timeline that we get from episode **113** the less stuff I will use from the actual show. This is, after all, meant to be an original story and not just a slight rewrite =)

Thanks, as always, to you fine people who review! You're all awesome for taking the time to tell me what you think, whether it's positive or negative feedback.

* * *

Blair trembled slightly as she pulled up her shirt to give the doctor access to her belly. She wasn't sure why she felt so incredibly nervous. It wasn't like this was going to hurt, or even be all that uncomfortable. It might, however, give her more information on how old her fetus was.

Eleanor sat at the head of the bed, hand resting on Blair's forehead. Serena was also there, holding her hand on Blair's in silent support. True to her word Serena had been there one hundred percent since she had convinced Blair to stay in New York.

"Okay then, let's have a look" Dr. York, her obstetrician, said.

She squirted the gel onto Blair's belly and placed the wand. Blair, Eleanor and Serena looked over at the monitor when the image of what was supposed to be a baby appeared. It didn't look much like one, but it was still early on in the pregnancy.

"Everything looks fine" Dr. York said. "You were curious as to how far along you are?"

Blair nodded and swallowed nervously.

"I'm hoping I'm not that far gone" she said.

"How exactly are you able to tell just from looking at the sonogram?" Serena asked. "It doesn't seem like much at this point."

"We can see how large the fetus is, and thereby deduce its age" Dr. York explained. "You had a previously estimated date of conception as mid-to-late November and I don't see anything that indicates otherwise. You will be delivering in August if the baby arrives on schedule."

"You're basing that on the baby's size?" Blair asked.

"Yes."

"But it's not always exact, right?" Blair said. "I mean, some women give birth to really big babies. They're so tiny at this stage that just a centimeter, or half a centimeter, could throw your estimations off, right? I could be having one of those twelve pound babies."

"You're hoping you'll have a twelve pound baby?" Serena asked with incredulity.

"Rather twelve pounds of Archibald than an eight pound Bass" Blair said.

"At this stage the size is pretty consistent with the date of conception" Dr. York said, removing the wand and handing Blair some paper to wipe off the gel. "Yes, the birth weight differs a lot from child to child, but during the first months of pregnancy most babies follow roughly the same curve."

"You said '_most_'?"

"Blair, honey…" Eleanor said. "I think you're going to have to accept what Dr. York is telling you. The baby will be born in August, not September, which means it wasn't conceived in December."

"It could have happened in the early days of December, though I find it unlikely" Dr. York said.

"So roughly around cotillion time is too late?" Blair asked sadly.

"I don't keep track of when cotillion is held."

"When can we know for sure?" Eleanor asked. "There's a certain issue of paternity."

Blair rolled her eyes at how her mother had whispered the last word.

"Mother."

"We can't determine paternity without a DNA test" Dr. York said. "Sometimes it's possible to test the amniotic fluid-"

"No!" Blair objected. "No needles in the stomach."

"Then you're going to have to wait until the baby is born."

"The thing is…" Serena said. "The conception date does factor in."

"Serena would you be quiet?" Blair asked, grumpily wiping off the last of the gel. "I'd rather not go into detail on my sordid love life."

"I just thought that if Dr. York knew more about your situation she might be able to make a better assessment" Serena said. "Besides, it's a lot less slutty to have slept with one guy first and then another, than to have juggled two guys at the same time."

"Basically," Eleanor said, "if the baby was conceived before the second week of December then there is only one candidate."

"Then I wouldn't put my money on it being anyone else than the guy you had sex with before that" Dr. York said. "The chances of the baby having been conceived in the second week of December or later are very slim."

Blair pulled down her shirt and didn't know what to feel. Serena tried to give her an encouraging smile.

"At least now we know" she said.

"Yeah…"

"And that's a good thing."

Blair nodded, but didn't feel so sure.

* * *

Blair followed Serena home after the doctor's appointment. Serena sent a text to Bart, alerting him to Blair's arrival and that they had some news. When the elevator doors opened and the girls stepped out Bart and Chuck were both there, waiting to hear what Blair had to say.

"I just saw my doctor" Blair said with no trace of enthusiasm. "She said that we can't be one hundred percent certain until the baby is born and we can test its DNA, but it is highly unlikely that I got pregnant in December. The chances of the baby being Chuck's are about ninety-eight percent. I thought you should know. Excuse me."

She walked past Bart and Chuck towards Serena's room, not in the mood to speak to either one of them. Bart looked at Chuck and then Serena.

"Serena you were with her for this examination?" he asked.

"Yeah. We would have gotten you a sonogram print out, but it's really not much to look at yet. Enough though for the doctor to determine the age of the baby."

"I guess that clarifies it then" Bart said with a little nod. "Until the DNA test can confirm or disprove, we shall act on the assumption that the baby is Chuck's. Excuse me, I have some business to attend to."

He walked up the stairs to his office and Serena turned to Chuck, who hadn't said a word.

"You guys are going to have to work out your issues" she said.

"What issues?" Chuck asked. "I'm issue free. Now if you'll excuse me, sis."

He walked down the hall and she noticed that he was knocking on her door instead of going to his own room. Deciding that Chuck and Blair could use a moment of privacy Serena walked into the kitchen in search of something to eat.

Without waiting for an answer Chuck opened the door to Serena's room and stepped inside. Blair was on the bed, hugging a pillow with a sad look on her face. It really hurt to see her look so sad over finding out the child she was carrying was most likely his.

"Now seems like a good time to call a truce" he said.

"You suck at apologies."

"I wasn't apologizing."

She looked up at him and then rolled her eyes.

"Congratulations" she said. "The child is yours. You have successfully procreated. You can go ahead and die now from syphilis or whatever, knowing that you've let your DNA carry on to another generation."

"Why would I die from syphilis?"

"I figured it's the one STD you haven't tried yet. Save for HIV."

"I can tell we're going to get along great over the next couple of months."

"Look Chuck, I think I'd rather not know that one of you two is _most likely_ the father if we can't prove it for certain" she said, sitting up on the bed. "I either want to know that without a doubt you are the father, or Nate is, than know that _most likely_. What if the doctor is wrong? You will have gone for most of the pregnancy thinking the baby's yours only to then learn that it actually isn't. I don't want to plan for a baby with you _or_ Nate unless I know for sure that it's the right guy."

"You're the lucky one here" Chuck said, walking over to the bed and sticking his hands in his pockets. "There's no doubt as to whether or not the kid is yours. I don't know whether I should start getting attached or if the baby's going to come out sporting Nathaniel's smirk. Makes it pretty damn hard to know where I stand. If I get invested it might all turn out to be for nothing, but if I don't I risk ignoring my own… offspring. I don't want to be one of those jerks who gets a girl pregnant and then puts on the blinders, leaving her to do all the work. I also don't want to be the guy who's there every step of the way, only to have another guy turn out to be the father. Consider yourself lucky that you at least know that _you_ are the baby's parent. The rest of us are not so fortunate."

There was a knock on the door and Bart came into the room.

"I just got off the phone with Eleanor" he said. "We agreed that since it's unlikely that the child is Nathaniel's we shall proceed as if the baby is Chuck's."

"And what if it's not?" Chuck asked.

"That's a risk we're going to take" Bart said. "I'd rather invest a couple of months needlessly on a child that turns out to be someone else's than sit back and twiddle my thumbs, not getting involved at all in the preparations for my grandchild's arrival."

"And have you asked Nate or Anne what they think of that?" Chuck asked.

"You heard what Blair said. The likelihood of this being theirs is far too slim for there to be any more wavering. Blair, you and Chuck have a lot of things to discuss. I will be in close contact with your parents over the next six months, working out more practical details like custodial rights and-"

"Dad, stop treating this like a business deal!"

Bart looked down for a second, as if acknowledging that he was getting a bit carried away. Blair studied the two men, standing next to each other. While there was very little in Chuck's looks that came from Bart there were still similarities there. Their posture was the same, and both of them stood with their hands in their pockets. She noted that they also had the same manner of tilting their head downward and then lifting their gaze. Would the baby be doing that as well, ten or fifteen years down the line?

"You and the baby will both be well taken care of" Bart then assured her. "If there's anything you need you let me know. Chuck, I expect you to take full responsibility and act like the parent you are about to become."

"Meaning what exactly?" Chuck asked.

"Meaning you should step up and do your part. Blair has lost face and honor over this and I expect you to help her get it back. A couple of unmarried teenagers having a baby is hardly preferable by society's standards."

Chuck rolled his eyes and turned to Blair.

"Want to get hitched?"

"Ew, no" she said.

"Apparently she doesn't want to be made an honorable woman" Chuck shrugged.

"That's very humorous" Bart said with no trace of a smile on his face. "I see no need for marriage, especially when we're not sure beyond any doubt, but that doesn't mean there aren't other ways to step up to the plate." He turned to leave but stopped in the doorway. "And both of you, do not think for a second that this means you'll be getting any slack with school. I expect full focus this semester, especially with your SATs coming up."

He left the room and Chuck raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently all my father needed to become a parent was to have a grandchild."

"Oh give it a rest, he's always been on the stricter side" Blair said. "He'd have to be with a brat like you."

"Just keep in mind that you will have your own miniature version of me on your hands" Chuck said. "Enjoy the challenges that come with raising a Bass."

Blair couldn't help but laugh a little, and she got a chuckle out of Chuck as well.

"Why do I get the feeling that your father has just taken control of our entire lives?" she smiled. "Next thing you know he'll be calling my mother's chef with detailed instructions on my diet. If he wants to do something for me, tell him to start up an account for me to buy maternity clothes."

"He's always been good at controlling the little details" Chuck said. "Strict instructions on what schools I should go to, which stores my clothes should be bought at, what food I should eat… He was never so good at things like making sure I was tucked in at night."

"I don't need Bart Bass to tuck me in" Blair said. "But like I said, I can gladly let him pay for my maternity wear. It's the least he could do, really."

"You're not even showing. And your mother's a designer. Can't she just unstitch the seams at your couture, problem solved?"

"Chuck you know better than to joke about fashion."

There was a knock on the door and Serena's head became visible.

"May I enter my room now?" she asked.

"I'm leaving" Chuck confirmed. "See you later, Blair."

"Bye…"

Serena opened the door fully, letting Chuck pass and then closing the door behind her. She walked over to Blair and plopped down on the bed next to her.

"So?" she asked.

"So… Bart has elbowed out the Archibalds and is now in complete control of our lives" Blair said.

Serena giggled.

"Yeah he's good at that. I've only been living in the same house with him for a week but I've seen him in action. What about you and Chuck, are you guys civil now?"

"Yes" Blair nodded. "For now."

"Good. Now let's go out and get tons of pastries and watch old movies until we get sick. Calories are good for the baby."

Blair laughed and got up from the bed.

"It might actually be fun having you and Chuck all friendly again" Serena said. "Chuck and I used to party quite good together, and now that we're under the same roof the three of us could have some great times together!"

"Except I won't be partying for a while" Blair reminded her. "Fetal alcohol poisoning syndrome? Sounds like a pain in the ass. Also, Chuck and I aren't friendly. We've merely agreed to retract our claws for a while. I'm sure we'll find something new to want to maim each other over within no-time."

"Bart was on the phone asking one of his assistants to find a good parenting class for the two of you, so maybe you can kill each other over changing diapers on dolls and Lamaze breathing exercises?"

"Why did the baby have to be Chuck's?" Blair whined.

Serena giggled and grabbed Blair by the arm, dragging her with her out her door and towards the elevator.

* * *

A couple of days later Blair was sitting on her bed, applying new nail polish to her toenails, wondering to herself how long it would be before she could no longer see her toes, or reach them for that matter. There was a knock on the door and she looked up to see Chuck enter. She frowned slightly.

"Don't tell me you're making social calls these days, Bass?" she said, putting away the nail polish.

"I come with the hopes that you are not yet so hormonal that you will be prone to shoot the messenger" Chuck said and waved a binder in the air. "Dad sent me over with this. He signed us up for some really stupid parenting classes. Apparently in the twenty-first century you can no longer raise children on _instinct_ and _common sense_, you need to be _educated_ about it. It's a complete drag, but we kind of have to, so I thought I'd bring you all the info you'll need. Someone as school-loving as you will probably be very excited at the chance to leaf through schedules and information sheets."

"Wow, I lost interest about three words in to that ramble" Blair said.

"Here you go" he said, handing her the binder.

She quickly glanced through the papers with a skeptical frown. She hadn't thought Serena had been serious when she had mentioned Bart making calls about these things. She hadn't even believed they existed. Apparently they did and she now had to attend them. The very thought was humiliating.

"Hey, listen…" Chuck said, glancing down at his feet for a second before meeting her eyes. "I know we haven't exactly been besties lately, but in light of what we've learned this week things are now different." He paused and she raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue. "I know I've done some horrible things. Even for me."

"You mean like apparently knocking me up and then comparing me to your father's sweaty old horse?"

"I said that?" he asked with a grin. "I probably meant to compare you to a pony. You're too small to be a horse."

Blair chuckled. Her bad mood had faded and she felt herself being glad that he was there. When they weren't arguing she really liked being around him.

They were still looking into each other's eyes, smiling, when there was another knock on the door and Nate walked in. He froze when he saw the two of them looking at each other. Blair looked over at him and was shocked to see him. She sat up more properly on the bed and tried to figure out if she was relieved that he was there, or uneasy that he had seen her connecting with Chuck. When she looked over at Nate Chuck followed her gaze, and quickly withdrew and placed himself by her desk, looking down on the floor.

"Oh great, _you're_ here" Nate groaned, shooting Chuck a glare.

"One moment you're angry that I'm not there for her and the next you're mad because I am" Chuck commented. "Pick an opinion and stick with it."

"Maybe you should pick a stick and shove it into your mouth so you can't talk anymore" Nate snarled back.

"Pardon my existence, it's clear that it highly offends you" Chuck said dryly.

"Hey" Blair snapped. "Guys."

Nate's eyes went from one to the other and then landed on Blair.

"I heard the news" he said.

"What news?" Chuck asked.

"I'm not stupid Chuck, so don't treat me like I am" Nate sulked. "Your dad called my mom and told him there was hardly any chance this kid was mine." He looked over at Blair again. "Thank you for telling me personally, by the way."

"Nate…" Blair said gently. "I didn't ignore you on purpose, I just… I didn't know what to say, and Bart went off and called Anne so fast I… I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well…" Nate said, and looked away for a second. "Fine, so the kid isn't mine. Most likely isn't mine. Bart's making sure he has complete control over this too, instead of leaving it up to _us_, the ones actually _involved_ in it."

"You know how my father can get" Chuck mumbled, studying his shoelaces.

"He's made it clear that I'm not welcome to get too involved here" Nate said.

"Nate that's not his thing to decide" Blair argued. "Screw what Bart wants. This might still be your baby."

"Do you really believe that?" Nate asked. "Do you honestly?"

Blair looked down.

"No. But I'm hoping it is."

She could feel rather than see Chuck shooting her a murderous look. She avoided looking at him and instead looked up and into Nate's eyes. She wanted so much to tell him how much she loved him, but it was impossible when Chuck was standing next to him. She cared about Chuck too, and… and it was all so confusing.

"But it isn't" Nate said. "In all probability it isn't."

"That doesn't mean you can't be involved" Blair argued, eager to have him remain in her life. The baby was her best tie to him right now.

"And do what, stand on the sidelines and watch while you plan a baby with my best friend?" Nate snapped.

Chuck looked away. It felt really awkward to stand there and listen while they argued around him like he wasn't even there.

"Nate we'll find a way" Blair insisted. "All three of us could go to the parenting classes, we could all-"

"Forget it Blair" Nate said. "No, I'm not doing that. Like some twisted tricycle family where I'm ultimately going to be shoved aside anyway? No way. I can't do it Blair. Bart made it very clear that in all likelihood this kid is Chuck's, and he wants full control. I'm not going to stand in the way of that."

"Nate…" Chuck said.

"I'm out" Nate said. "I'm out. I hope you two will be very happy together."

He backed out of the room and then walked off. Chuck and Blair both looked down, neither of them desiring eye contact at the moment.

"You should go" Blair finally said.

Chuck nodded. Without another look at her he walked out, feeling like crap. He had lost his best friend and clearly he hadn't gained the girl he crushed on in return. Why did it seem like the moment something good happened with this whole baby business something else happened that made things revert to bad?

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please review =)


	7. Chapter 7

Hello all!

I think this is the first time I've written a story where people have had this much sympathy for Chuck. I take it I'm improving on my characterization of him! Either that or I'm just putting him through more crap than I'm putting Blair through, for once ;)

So this is another chapter that borrows from the show, but less so than the other ones I think. I wanted to include the Georgina storyline from season one and I'm working on finding a way to do that without following the show too closely; we'll see how that turns out in the end. In the meantime, here's chapter seven.

* * *

Chuck had barely sat down with his sandwich and his geography textbook when Blair strode up to his table and slammed down a magazine in front of him. He jumped slightly.

"Have you seen this?" she cried.

"You mean the magazine you nearly hit me in the face with? It's currently in my field of vision, so I guess yes."

Oblivious to his attempted humor she opened the magazine and pointed to an half-page article. He leaned closer to get a better look.

"'_Bassinette for Bass?_'" he read out loud, scoffing at the headline.

"You haven't seen it yet?" Blair asked angrily.

"Give me a minute."

He grabbed the magazine from her and read through the article. It stated how Bart Bass might be becoming a grandfather, even though his delinquent son was still a teenager. It went on to say that the grandmother of the baby in question was none other than fashion designer Eleanor Waldorf, and then it scandalized about how Bart Bass' son Charles was only one of two possible fathers, the other one being Nathaniel Archibald, son of the very same Archibald who had recently been arrested. It said some other crap as well but that seemed to be the more notable parts. The article was illustrated by a picture taken of Chuck and Blair leaving a parenting class together.

"It's bad enough that I get slammed on _Gossip Girl_ on what feels like an hourly basis" Blair complained. "Now I have to find stuff like this in actual printed media?"

"Well what did you expect?" Chuck asked. "The media loves this kind of stuff. And they love implicating my father in scandal. Which is why I've always been careful to fly under the radar and not flaunt my lewdness on page six like Serena."

"Well you're on more pages than just six now" Blair said. "More like being on six pages. I have never been so _humiliated_ in my entire life!"

"You say that now, wait until you have your feet in stirrups while some doctor is feeling up your cervix telling you how many centimeters you're at."

"Stop talking about childbirth like you know anything about it, or will ever learn anything about it. Chuck this is a _disaster_."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Chuck asked.

"For one you can send one of your dogs on the trail and find out who blabbed to the press" Blair said angrily. "That person will have a public execution by the end of the week."

"It could have been anybody."

"I know, hence the need for a PI. I can't do all the legwork myself, not when I'm juggling school, a scandal and morning sickness."

"Any journalist who happens to stumble on _Gossip Girl_ would find out this much" Chuck pointed out, tossing the magazine aside. "It doesn't exactly require hard-hitting journalism."

He really couldn't care less about the article. He had enough problems to deal with as was. Thanks to his future stepsister he was now even further from his father's good graces and had been kicked out of home for a while. Serena's old frennemy Georgina Sparks had been sending her lewd gifts for about a week, gifts she had blamed on Chuck, and naturally Bart had believed her over his own son. Not that Chuck blamed him for suspecting Chuck was behind it. But what did hurt was his father not believing him when he told him he was innocent. Chuck knew he was far from the son who made his father proud, but he always took accountability for what he did and if he had indeed sent those gifts to Serena he would have owned up to it. At least Serena was no longer fuming at him. Once she had realized who the real culprit was she had switched from yelling and screaming at him to whining that he had to help her out. In the spirit of not messing up his father's upcoming marriage Chuck had agreed. With all this he had quite a lot on his hands, and Blair's little meltdown over what would surely only be the first of many articles about them would have to wait.

"I cannot believe the biggest embarrassment of my life is being spattered all over the press" Blair moaned, not sharing his opinion that this could wait, hiding her face in her hands. "That article was downright nasty. They wrote me up as a slut who jumps from one guy to the next. Two best friends at that."

"Actually they only stated the facts. You did go from one best friend to the other. If people interpret that as slutty, which you're doing right now, then that's what you have to face for bedding us both."

"Oh shut up Bass, you're a hundred times the slut I'll ever be" Blair said, looking up at him. "Why aren't you more pissed at this? They weren't exactly nice to you either. You're described as a teen gone wild who doesn't even know _if_ he got a girl pregnant or not."

"Again, that's just the facts" Chuck shrugged.

"Ugh! Why do I waste oxygen talking to you?"

She got up with a huff and stormed off. He watched her go and then continued eating his sandwich.

Blair stomped up to Serena, who was sitting with Dan at a different table out in the yard, and sat down next to her.

"Thank you so much for convincing me to stay in New York" she griped.

"The article?" Serena guessed. "Yeah I saw that too."

"Everybody saw it" Blair said. "I am humiliated. Again. My life has become a humiliation bingo and I'm dangerously close to five across. All I need now is to have pictures of my stretch marks appear in the media."

"Blair you're barely showing" Serena said calmly. "Nobody can tell unless they see you without your shirt on."

"With my luck I'll be the size of Homer Simpson within two weeks" Blair said, before turning to Dan. "You can leave now."

"You know, I think I will" Dan said, getting up. "Pregnant women are scary. Especially when they're you."

He gave Serena a kiss and Blair made a disgusted face. Then he walked off, leaving the two girls to themselves.

"Having a hard day today?" Serena concluded, taking a bite from her apple.

"I'm sorry, S" Blair said, suddenly more sad than annoyed. "It's just… well, everything. It never seems to get any easier, with any of it. They say morning sickness goes away after the first three months, but obviously that doesn't apply to the spawn of evil because I still wake up feeling like crap."

"You're just barely into your second trimester" Serena pointed out. "Give it time."

"Do you know what the only way to get rid of the nausea is?" Blair asked. "Eating something. How messed up is that? Eating is the _last_ thing I want to do when I feel like I'm going to hurl all over the place."

"Why don't you go to the bathroom and do just that, then?" Serena asked. "Always helps when I'm feeling really nauseous."

"Not in this case. If I start, I'll be there forever." She sighed and picked a fruit cup from her bag. "All I can do is force this fruit down my throat and pray for it to go away."

Serena gave her a sympathetic look. Blair opened her fruit cup and stabbed a piece of pear with little enthusiasm.

"You know, people had finally stopped staring at me and whispering behind my back" she lamented. "Their interest went down after a while since I wasn't showing. Now that I _am_ starting to show I've been basically counting the days until I can't hide it anymore and the whispering and pointing start up again. So it sucks all the more that this article had to come _now_, reminding everyone of why it was so fun to gossip about me in the first place."

"Oh B, I'm sure they'll forget in a few days" Serena said, putting her hand on Blair's.

"If you're planning on causing any further outrage this semester then now would be a glorious time for it" Blair said. "Take one for the team."

"Sorry" Serena giggled. "No scandal planned. This is a brand new Serena, who is done causing scandal. I'm doing better at school, I'm dating a reliable guy! Unfortunately I am also now living with Chuck Bass, but you can't win at everything."

"Dan Humphrey may be reliable but he gets the blood going about as efficiently as a puddle of mud" Blair said, shoving a piece of pineapple in her mouth.

"Speaking of blood, you should try to keep your blood pressure down" Serena said dryly.

"That will have to wait" Blair declared. "I can relax after my litany of crises is over. At the nursing home when I'm eighty-eight. Ugh, and on top of all this other misery I also have to deal with stuff that _isn't_ the side-effect of sleeping with Chuck Bass."

"You have problems in your life that aren't derived from sleeping with Chuck?"

"S, you said '_derived_'" Blair cooed like a proud parent. "Good for you. You learned a new word! I see you're also trying to do well on your SATs. Which are of course one of the major headaches I've got right now that aren't related to Chuck."

"I'm sure my soon-to-be stepbrother will be relieved to learn that there are problems in the world that aren't caused by him" Serena said. "And yes, like every other high school junior in the country I am studying for the SATs. Dan and I are meeting for a study session at his place tonight."

"You try to make that sound romantic, but it just sounds pedestrian" Blair snorted. "Real people hire professionals to help train them."

"Oh do they now?"

"Yes" Blair said, and then sighed as she shoved the last piece of pear in her mouth. "Unfortunately for me, the problem has veered straight back into Chuck Bass territory."

"You seem to enjoy saying his name an awful lot…"

"No I don't. I hate his name! His first name rhymes with '_yuck_' and I think that's less a coincidence and more Bart's reaction when he first laid eyes on him." She groaned when Serena raised an eyebrow. "Because I'm so busy suffering through the hell of pregnancy, most likely on his account, I am at an even _further_ disadvantage with my SATs."

"How were you at a disadvantage to begin with? You scored a 2200 yesterday."

"2200 is a lousy score when you're trying to beat Nelly Yuki" Blair snorted.¨

"Why do you want to beat Nelly Yuki?" Serena asked.

"Serena you are never going to do well on your SATs if you keep forgetting to plug in your brain in the morning" Blair said. "Nelly Yuki has her sights set on Yale too. What are the odds of them accepting two girls from Constance? You have no idea how onerous this all is. I'm at a clear disadvantage here, and it's against an Asian girl with enormous ugly glasses, more extracurriculars than there's rice in China, and no baby in the oven."

"That's '_bun_' in the oven" Serena corrected.

"Whatever. I need to kick her well-rounded ass."

"And they say you've lost your edge" Serena grinned.

"Nelly Yuki must be destroyed" Blair growled. "Ugh, the only problem is that the brilliant plan I've concocted only works if I have minions to help me carry it out."

"So concoct another plan."

"I need to find Nelly Yuki's Achilles heel and use it to squash her like a little four-eyed bug" Blair said. "Care to help me, S?"

"I told you, I've got a study date with Dan" Serena said.

"And _I_ told _you_, that's totally lame. Help me out and you and I can study together. With tutors and people rubbing our feet. The way you're meant to study."

"Sorry B" Serena said.

"Nobody is on my side anymore" Blair sulked and walked off.

Serena watched her go and could barely conceal a giggle. Good thing she hadn't told Blair about her recent Georgina Sparks problems. She really didn't want to know how Blair would react if she found out Georgie was back in town.

* * *

Chuck paused the DVD he was watching when his phone rang. He picked it up and didn't bother looking to see who was calling.

"I'm so stupid!" a voice moaned on the other end.

"Serena" he noted.

"So, so, so, so, so stupid."

"You sound drunk, not stupid" Chuck generously offered. "What have you been into?"

He listened with smug interest as Serena gave him the details of how she sort of ended up not studying with Dan in favor of getting hammered with Georgie. This was Chuck's favorite kind of Serena and he was pretty pleased to see her back in action. Clearly though she wasn't too pleased about it herself.

"Can you help me?" Serena finished off her litany of woe.

"Say you need me" Chuck grinned, only to get his name whined back at him. "Hearing you scream my name is more than enough. I'll take care of it and pick you up in ten."

He hung up and made a call to Dan, enjoying every second of playing the helpful brother doing his poor, sick sister a favor while the Brooklyn hobo huffed and puffed on the other end. Then he got up to go pick up Serena. Just as he was about to leave there was a knock on the door. He opened it and found Blair.

"My, my" he said. "I'm quite popular tonight. Need someone who can take the SATs for you? Normally I would tell you to find someone on your own, but since you are the loving mother of my-"

"Shut up" Blair snarled.

"Motherhood placates you."

"I need help. And since I'm now all out of minions, thanks to being all out of dignity, and also all out of a best friend since Serena is with Dan the drone… Point being, you're going to have to help me."

"Get in line" Chuck said. "I have another wayward soul in need of my assistance and I'm on my way out as we speak."

"Call the skank up and tell her that you're busy" Blair said, striding past him inside the suite. "This is more important."

He was about to tell her that the skank in question was her bff, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Serena didn't want Blair to know what was currently going on. He closed the door, albeit reluctantly, and leaned back against it.

"You've got five minutes."

"I've got five months" she replied, motioning to her due-in-five-months belly.

"What is it Blair?" Chuck sighed. "I can't really do much about an article that's already in print, now can I?"

"That's not why I'm here. I need help destroying Nelly Yuki."

"That makes sense" he nodded. "Her extracurriculars can kick yours' asses in their sleep. And she's likely to outscore you on the SATs."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious" Blair fake smiled.

"The question is, what is all this to me?"

"I need to find her weakness so I can exploit it, and I'm running out of precious time" Blair complained.

"That did nothing to answer my question."

"Chuck I need your help" Blair said. "Come on, you know how hard it is for me to turn to you of all people."

"Do I now? 'Cause I seem to remember you having a _very_ easy time turning to me with a previous predicament. What was that again? Oh, right. Losing your virginity…"

"You know what?" Blair said. "This was a mistake. Consider me gone. I'll just lose to Nelly Yuki, go to some horrible G-grade school like NYU or Smith, and live out my days in a trailer with a white trash brat and no career."

"Alright drama queen" Chuck said, refusing to move out of the way and let her pass. "I'll see if I can dig up some dirt. But until then I've really got to get going."

"Remember to use double condoms this time" Blair said with poison as he moved aside and she left his suite.

* * *

Chuck had barely gotten to school the next day before he was accosted by an indignant Dan Humphrey, joining the growing club of people who blamed all of the problems in their lives on Chuck. Then Serena came hippedy-hopping up to them and helped make matters worse by failing to remember the cover story for last night Chuck had fed her for breakfast. Naturally his so called sis couldn't keep the peace in her so called romance for more than three minutes and Dan stormed off. Well at least that meant one annoyance less.

"If it's really that bad why don't you just tell him about her?" he had to ask Serena.

The wheels seemed to turn in Serena's head for a few seconds.

"I can't" she then said.

"Well you're lucky that my paternal instincts seem to have kicked into gear or I would have had enough of bailing you out of trouble" Chuck said. "Especially when you can't even remember that I said _food poisoning_."

"I'll see you later" Serena said and walked off.

Chuck rolled his eyes and headed off on his second mission for today. This one involved finding Blair, which wasn't too difficult as she was the only pale faced girl fighting to keep down her breakfast on account of nausea. He took a seat next to her and she recoiled with a frown.

"Lovely day, isn't it?" he said.

"What do you want?"

"You asked me for help."

"Oh. Right. Well what did you find out?"

"That boring geeks like Nelly Yuki really are boring" Chuck said. "There's not much dirt to dish. She hates Flo Rida because of some break-up thing with her boyfriend at a concert, but I don't think you can blackmail her on account of having once _liked_ Flo Rida."

Blair's nauseated facial expression turned into a musing one.

"This might actually be useful" she said.

"How?" Chuck scoffed.

"That's nothing you need to concern yourself with" Blair said sweetly and got up. "You just worry about… well, whatever you tend to worry about. And I will take care of Nelly Yuki. Have an adequate day!"

She strut off to commence operation Take Down Nelly and he watched her go with a smug smile. She was endlessly entertaining when her deviant side shone through. Too bad she wouldn't let him in on the details.

* * *

Two days later Blair stepped out on the streets after completing her SATs and felt like she had just completed a marathon. In the past forty-eight hours she had managed to convince Nelly Yuki that she really wanted to be her friend in lieu of better prospects, and had subsequently exploited Nelly's breakup to disrupt her chances at doing well on her SATs. It wasn't nearly as rewarding as Blair would have thought. She had always looked forward to the SATs, seen them as an opportunity to show Yale and everyone else that she was Yale material. Actually taking them had felt more like a walk through hell, and now she just wanted to go home and go to sleep for circa one month.

Dan Humphrey came walking up to her, but for once she didn't feel like bitching with him. She wondered if he had seen Serena. Blair had looked for her before the SATs had started but she hadn't seen her.

"How did you do?" she asked Dan.

"Uh, not my finest hour" Dan said. "I finished, but I… kinda' had a lot on my mind."

"I'll keep calling" Blair said, trying to reach Serena again.

She dialed Serena's number but then something caught her eye. Nate and that yucky Brooklyn camera girl Blair so despised. Together. As in _together_. Blair took a second to decide whether she should faint or puke, and her body seemed hot on option two.

What was Nate doing with another girl? With _that_ girl? It was one thing that Chuck was still probably sleeping with everything with a pulse and the lack of a Y-chromosome but Nate was _dating_? _That_ girl?

She felt tears start to well up in her eyes as she stood frozen, watching him get in a car together with that girl. Here she was, pregnant and ostracized, possibly with him being the baby's father. And he was running around with some girl. She felt humiliated even worse than before and her heart seemed to break all over again.

Suddenly the SATs didn't matter anymore. Finding Serena didn't matter either. All that mattered was to get home as soon as possible, before her hormones decided to get the better of her, and she would start sobbing out on the street.

She pushed past Dan, who tried to say something to her but she didn't care to listen. She had to get home. Karma truly was a bitch.

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	8. Chapter 8

This chapter is similar to a scene from my other pregnancy fic, though only by coincidence. It's just something I know a lot of people do when there's a baby on the way, and I like exploring how it plays out with Chuck and Blair. And since the situation in this story is so different from the one in "_Out of the Frying Pan_", I didn't think I was repeating myself too much =)

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A week went by without much drama. At least not for Blair, who was busy dealing with the fallout of her previous drama and was kept mostly in the dark about Serena's Georgina drama. Blair had now begun to show, enough so that she couldn't hide it completely, and it was only the determination not to let the people at school drive her away which kept her going to Constance Billard every day. In addition she was feeling the heartbreak over Nate all over again, now that she knew he was slumming it with the Brooklyn barista girl. And she had a strong suspicion that people were talking about it behind her back. How she hadn't been able to compete with Brooklyn trash for Nate's affection, even when she might be carrying his child.

When each school day was over, all she wanted to do was go home, take a nap and then focus on her studies. Once a week she and Chuck attended the parenting classes Bart had signed them up for, classes which felt rather pointless since it was mostly about how to change a diaper or whether the baby should sleep on its back or on its stomach, and Blair planned on leaving the bulk of such responsibility to Dorota or a nanny.

One Thursday afternoon she was feeling particularly weary. It had been an unusually long day at school and since there were no other scandals floating at present Blair and her baby bump had been everybody's favorite point-stare-whisper object for three days in a row. With Serena busy with fussing over something she wouldn't even tell Blair about, and which Blair assumed had to do with Humphrey and therefore didn't care to ask about, there wasn't really anybody to keep Blair company during the long days at school. She wasn't used to being an outcast and she deeply loathed it. When the bell finally rang she wanted nothing more than to head home and throw herself down on the bed and either read a magazine or take a long nap.

She had only just gotten home when Dorota announced a visitor.

"Mister Chuck to see you, Miss Blair!"

Blair groaned. She was definitely not in the mood for visitors, especially not this visitor. Was it too much to ask for to get some peace and quiet after another long day of being a social pariah at school?

Ten seconds later Chuck strolled through the door, sporting his trademark scarf and trademark smirk.

"You look ravishing as ever" he said with amusement.

She shot him a look. Since she had started showing about a month ago she had not quite yet come to terms with the bump on her belly. And she most certainly had not come to terms with how pregnancy added weight on other places than just the stomach. Her ass, and even worse, her face had gotten fuller. And even though it was only March it had been a warm winter's day and the coat she had worn was more suited for bitter cold days, so she was sweating and probably flushed.

"I've been thinking" Chuck said.

"Oh so that's why it smells like something's burning."

"Good one" Chuck said. "Better used on my sis though."

"Why are you here Bass?" Blair sighed, walking towards her bed. "I'm tired and I want to read my _Okay Magazine_ and if you insist on bugging me you're going to be on the receiving end of pregnancy hormones."

"I was about to get to that…" Chuck said. "I'm here to see my baby."

"I offered you a sonogram picture and you looked at it like it was abstract art."

"Let me rephrase then. I'm here to spend time with my baby."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't worry Waldorf, you can read your magazine, I'm not here for you" Chuck said. "But fetuses hear all kinds of stuff in the womb, don't they?"

"And it's about to hear me tell you to go to hell" Blair said, sitting down on her bed.

"I think I have a right to try and bond a little with my kid" Chuck said. "All you have to do is lie down."

"Gross."

"Lie down and let me talk to your belly."

"Why?" Blair frowned. "That sounds stupid."

"Maybe, but I want to give it a shot. Now lie down like a good little girl."

Blair shot him a look but obediently took her place on the bed, grabbing the magazine from her nightstand on the way. She had been planning on lying down for a while anyway. She felt a bit uneasy when Chuck got up on the bed and positioned himself by her swelling belly. When he pulled up her sweater and placed a hand on her stomach she angrily slapped him away.

"Get your hands off me Bass!"

"I can't talk to him or her through your sweater."

"But through my body is okay? Fine, have the sweater up if you must, but don't touch me!"

"I'm not trying to grope you" Chuck said, putting his hand back on the bump. "You just happen to be the person my kid is stuck inside. Don't I have a right to try and connect with my baby?"

"We don't even know if it is your baby" Blair jabbed.

"Honey that's more of an insult to you than it is to me" Chuck replied.

She huffed, insulted by his comment. But before she could begin to throw a tantrum Chuck took his eyes off her face and focused all his attention on her belly.

"Hey fetus" he said. "Gotten all pruny yet?"

"The level on which you connect with my child could warm the coldest of hearts" Blair said dryly and opened her magazine.

He continued to ignore her and began to talk nonsense to her stomach. She focused on her magazine and tried to forget that he was even there. Which was not so easy as his hands were on her stomach and his face so close that she could feel his breath on her tummy as he spoke to the unborn child about the typical empty stuff one would expect to be floating around in the head of Chuck Bass.

"If you're a boy then you've got a lot to live up to" she heard Chuck say. "The Bass men are a special breed and we've set some pretty high standards. I will be severely disappointed if you're not a well-experienced ladies' man by the time you're fifteen. After all, when you're young is when you want to have fun and experiment. If you're a girl, remember, there is nothing wrong with joining a convent or taking a vow of chastity."

Blair looked up from her magazine.

"That's a wonderful double standard you're teaching" she said.

"After all," Chuck said, shooting Blair an annoyed look, "you wouldn't want to end up like your mommy, would you? Knocked up at seventeen? I'm sure she will tell you it's not the most glamorous situation in the world."

"So much better then to be a boy and a horndog and to impregnate some poor girl who will then be stuck with the bulk of the responsibility."

"Excuse me" Chuck said. "This is a private conversation."

She scoffed at him but obediently returned focus to her magazine. However it was getting more and more difficult to concentrate. Chuck's hands caressing her belly, his breath on her and the sound of his voice kept distracting her. The bump may be visible, but it was still fairly small, and it felt like there was too little baby between them, though she couldn't determine whether that was due to her hating Chuck's touch or actually liking it. Finally she gave up on trying to read and put the magazine aside.

"I need a nap" she lied. "Don't wake me."

"Trust me, I'm trying real hard to zone out everything from your boobs and up" Chuck said. "Or, actually, I like to acknowledge the boobs. But other than that I'm pretending you're not even here."

"You are such a pig" Blair said.

She closed her eyes and pretended to try and sleep. In actuality she was getting interested in hearing what Chuck had to say to the baby. One thing could always be said for Chuck, he was entertaining.

"Another important thing you should know concerns alcohol" his voice continued. "Never, _ever_ do tequila shots with someone twice your size. Before you know it you're passed out and the other person is barely affected. And while we're discussing it, something else you never want to do is drink absinthe with Daniel Baldwin. But going back to alcohol in general, really, the key is to not drink too much."

Blair could barely keep herself from scoffing at that statement, but she didn't want him to know she was paying attention.

"If you're a girl, you don't want to drink too much and lose control" Chuck said. "People might try and take advantage of you, not that they would succeed since I wouldn't let you out of the house without a chastity belt on or a bodyguard hand-cuffed to you. A gay bodyguard. But you might end up in compromising positions you really don't want to be in. If you're a boy, the reason why you don't want to drink too much is simple. Erectile dysfunction. With too much alcohol in your system, it's just not going to work." He paused for a second. "Do you think Blair is sleeping yet?" he asked in a conspiring tone. "You know, just between you and me… I don't really care if you're prude or not. If you're a girl and you want to lead my kind of lifestyle then all the more power to you. Just be sure to use protection. If you want to party, and you want to have casual sex, then go for it. Officially I will denounce that type of behavior, but really, what's it to me how you want to live your life?"

His caresses and the sound of his voice nearly began to lull Blair to sleep after a while. But just nearly. She wanted to hear what he had to say, even though at least half of it made her want to voice objections. It was obvious that she would never be able to leave Chuck with the baby unsupervised. God alone knew what he might think to say, and the last thing she wanted was a child who was like him. Or at least she didn't want a child who had the more lecherous sides of his personality.

"Your mother is pretending to be asleep" Chuck suddenly said in a loud whisper. "I think she's hoping I might tell you some secrets about what I think of her. You know, that I'll say she's pretty great, or something like that. I think she secretly likes me."

"You wish!" Blair snorted, blowing her cover.

"I knew you were listening" Chuck smirked. "Eavesdropping is not nice."

"Pardon me for being in the same room with my stomach" Blair replied. "It's rude, but that's just who I am."

"I'm only curious why you're pretending to be asleep."

"Not pretending Chuck. _Trying_ to _fall_ asleep."

"Am I distracting you?" he asked, slowly caressing her stomach in a way which made her unsure of whether he was directing the touch to the baby or to her.

"Your voice kind of grates" she said.

"Really?" he said. "I don't recall that you used to mind it when it was saying dirty words in your ear…"

"Are you about done with demonstrating to my belly button why you'll make a horrid parent?" she snarled, lifting her head up to look at him.

"Ouch."

"I'm getting tired of just lying here so you can talk crap to my fetus."

"I thought you said you were trying to go to sleep, so what's it to you if you're asked to lie still for a while?"

"It's hard to fall asleep when you're groping me like that" she said, then realized how he might interpret that. "Your hands are all sweaty and icky."

"Excuse me Waldorf, but seeing as how we're not a couple and we're most certainly not living together I don't get all that many chances to try and bond with this thing" Chuck said, looking offended. "It's not that much to ask for you to just lie still for thirty minutes and give me a chance to let the baby learn my voice."

"Read him or her a story next time" Blair said, smacking his hand away and pulling her sweater down.

"I don't know that many child-appropriate stories."

"How about '_Little Red Ridinghood _'?"

"That one I know. Kind of a hot role-play, actually."

"Or hey, read from a book. You do know how to read, don't you?"

He sat up and looked annoyed.

"Honestly Blair, if I'm annoying you so much then maybe I should just stay the hell away and ignore the fact that you're pregnant and it's likely mine? Why should I try and take an interest when you just snap at me about it?"

She bit her bottom lip.

"Taking an interest is all fine and good" she then said. "But do you have to talk to the baby like you just recruited him or her on your pirate ship?"

"Whatever."

He got off the bed and walked over to pick up his things. Blair watched him silently, starting to regret making him leave. He was one of the few allies she had left. Or pseudo-allies, as it was.

"Chuck" she said.

"What?"

"Instead of talking crap to the baby, why don't you just take a seat and talk to me for a while?" she suggested.

"Oh I wouldn't dream of inconveniencing you."

"Take a seat, talk to me" she said gently, patting on the spot on the bed where he had been sitting. "The one thing we've got going for us is how close we used to be as friends. So be my friend and talk to me."

"I think our friendship has been effectively ruined."

"Chuck please."

Reluctantly he walked over and sat back down on the bed.

"So how was your day?" Blair asked.

"Seriously? Come on, even when we were friends we were never the type of friends to sit around and chat about how our days have been."

"Fine, then just leave" Blair snapped. "God, you're more testy and hormonal than I am! Get out and let me sleep already."

He was more than happy to oblige. As soon as he had left her room Blair rolled over on her side and tried to get some sleep. It turned out to be impossible. She was too annoyed with herself for missing his hands touching her belly. This pregnancy was really starting to screw with her. She had spent the past week heartbroken over Nate and now Chuck was on her mind. Stupid Chuck and his stupid baby.

But later that night when she was lying in bed waiting to fall asleep she found herself thinking about him. Both her hands rested on the bump and she thought about the boy who had probably given her said bump, and of the baby growing inside it. There were a lot of fun sides to Chuck, a lot of quality traits he possessed. She truthfully wouldn't mind a child with a streak of Chuck Bass in him or her.

Slowly Blair was beginning to comprehend what was really happening, that there was a baby on the way. And just as slowly she was beginning to feel attached to the baby. Each day she hoped to feel it kick for the first time, even though she knew it was a little too early for that just yet. But it would be so fantastic to get a real sign that there was somebody actually in there. Like a message from the baby to her.

At eighteen weeks she was beginning to feel quite different. Finally the nausea had subsided, at least somewhat, even though it could still be pretty bad in the mornings before she had eaten breakfast. She was beginning to really notice the changes in her body and while she sometimes hated those changes there were also times when she found herself studying her mirror image, intrigued by what she saw.

Tonight there was also something else, a feeling she hadn't had since she learned about her pregnancy. She could still feel Chuck's hands touching her, and his hot breath on her skin. She remembered vividly his touches and his hot breath back in November and early December. She remembered how he had been able to make her feel alive and she remembered just how good it felt to have sex with him. The news of the baby had brought with it so many adjustments and far too many things to try and wrap her mind around that she hadn't felt any desire to have sex at all. And of course the nausea hadn't helped. Tonight she felt differently. She was starting to feel her desire awaken again.

Some women apparently went through so called "horny phases" during their pregnancy. Well Blair was not only pregnant, she was also a teenager who had only discovered how much fun sex could be less than six months ago. If she was about to hit such a phase she had a feeling it would be all she would be able to think about. Which once again brought her mind back to Chuck. After the night they had spent together after her birthday party, having sex with him had been on her mind pretty much around the clock until Nate walked back onto the scene.

In conclusion, she was screwed. She could only hope that she wouldn't hit a horny phase, because if she did she would be walking around with far too strong a libido and no means of getting release.

Which brought her back to stupid Chuck and stupid baby.

She rolled over on her side and rested the side of her face in her left palm while her right hand continued to caress her belly. She forgot about sex for the moment and began to daydream about her baby, and what life would be like once it was born.

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	9. Chapter 9

Just a quickie this time around!

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With a heavy sigh Blair took a look around her room. The room that would soon change and see the addition of a crib, probably a nursing table, and whatever other things you needed in your room when you were having a baby. She began to wonder if maybe a nursery wouldn't be a better idea, but she dismissed the thought.

A knock on the door snapped her out of her line of thought.

"Come in" she said.

The door opened and Chuck appeared. Great, what did he want?

"You weren't at school today" he said.

"I'm aware" she answered.

"I thought I'd check in and see how you were doing."

He remained standing by the door and leaned against the doorframe, hands in pockets, as he studied her with a touch of concern. Every time he showed this side of himself to her it took her by surprise. Odd, since they had known each other for so long.

"I'm fine" she said. "I just felt like crap this morning, nausea and all, and Mother thought I should stay home and rest. But don't worry, I've done my studying."

The last part was added dryly. He glanced around the room. "_Gone with the Wind_" was on pause on the TV, the book was open in front of her on the bed and on the nightstand was a copy of the pseudo-sequel "_Scarlett_", which he knew she hated but couldn't seem to resist reading whenever she had read the original book.

"Yes I can see that" he said. "A study in Scarlett, is it?"

"Clever."

"I am clever."

"I'm annoyed" she declared.

"Here's something that might make you un-annoyed. You know Little J and her new quest for being cool?"

"Ugh, now the nausea is back."

"Turns out her new boyfriend was just using her as a beard."

Blair sat up on the bed.

"Oh my God, seriously? Details Bass, quickly!"

"Oh you're going to love this" Chuck said, walking into the room. "Apparently she had no idea, thought the guy was actually into her. Until his boyfriend dumped him at a party he was throwing."

"No" Blair gasped with a big grin. "Oh my God, you're right, I love this. Except I hate it since I didn't get to play a part in knocking that little brat down from her make-believe pedestal. But my time will come and I can at least enjoy knocking her from ground level down to whatever level it is earthworms like her usually reside at."

"Most people would learn their lesson and heed to the fact that people from Brooklyn just aren't meant to climb the social ladder" Chuck said, taking a seat on the divan. "I have a feeling though that this particular Brooklyn girl will have forgotten the lesson as soon as the scandal settles. I kind of admire that, actually."

"Oh please" Blair snorted. "Being a dimwit is not something you should admire."

"I admire tenacity."

"I admire people who give me loads of details on the latest scandal" Blair said. "Come on Chuck, what else?"

"No, there's nothing else."

"Oh come on. Was she really humiliated? Did she cry?"

"Don't know. I wasn't there. I don't attend parties thrown by freshmen."

"At least tell me who the boyfriend was. Someone from St. Jude's?"

"Yes, but that's all you're going to get from me."

"What?"

"I'm saying that I am saying nothing further."

"Why?" Blair asked.

"I have my reasons."

"Now you're making me really curious."

"Well that's too bad."

"Chuck!" Blair whined. "This is just cruel. If you've said A then you'd better say B."

"I never said A" Chuck shrugged with a smirk. "I just said I know who the guy is and I'm not telling you. "

"Why?"

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone over twenty-five, or with a bun in the oven."

She made a face at him and tossed a pillow at him.

"Forget it then. I'll just check Gossip Girl."

He just smiled and she snorted. She glanced over at her laptop but decided against looking it up right away. She didn't want to seem _too_ eager.

"Did I miss anything else?" she asked. "Any other juicy scandal?"

"Well there's a rumor floating around that you weren't in school today because you found out you were having twins, one being mine and the other Nate's, and your doctor had to prescribe you Prozac and order bed rest or you would be likely to miscarry."

"And did you set them straight?"

"Naturally. I told them both twins were likely Carter Baizen's."

Blair's jaw fell.

"_Chuck_!"

"I did not tell anyone that" Chuck said with rolling eyes. "Don't tell me you've lost the ability to detect sarcasm?"

"Well what _did_ you tell them?" Blair asked angrily.

"Same as I've been saying all along. That there's only one kid in there. And if it turns out to be a boy we'll know it is mine and if it turns out to be a girl it's more of a tossup. Nate's not man enough to create another man."

"Chuck would you just get out?" Blair snarled. "God, even if this is Nate's child the greatest mistake I ever made is still having agreed to even touch you without a hazmat suit on!"

"It wasn't so much about you agreeing as it was about you thrusting your tongue inside my mouth and your hands inside my pants."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore" Blair snarled.

"Fine." He paused. "Hey did you know that once you've had the kid, it's going to take years for your pelvis to faze back into its correct position?"

"God, no, I did not know that" Blair groaned. "How come _you_ know it?"

"Mrs. Havisham was kind enough to give me my own private biology lecture today" he said sullenly. "Actually not my own private. She kept both me and Archibald after class to tell us exactly why it is evil to sleep with girls our age and get them pregnant. Were you also aware that you might suffer a stroke from increased pressure in your brain or whatever?"

"That must have been an awkward session."

"Yeah, especially since she was preaching to someone who already knows all too well that pregnancy can be dangerous."

He looked away from her and she suddenly remembered the reason why he only had one parent. He never wanted to talk about it. It was just one of those things she knew about him without knowing much of the details surrounding it. She wondered if he would be more open to sharing now that they were in this particular situation.

"What exactly did your mother die of?" she asked carefully.

"Childbirth" he said sharply and shortly.

"No, I mean…" She moved closer to the edge of the bed, moving closer towards him. "I mean what was it precisely?"

"None of your damn business."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. It's just…"

"Look, have this conversation with your obstetrician, okay? I'm sure you can get a full list of all the ways this can end up killing you. But just because you _might_ be having a kid of mine that doesn't give you level ten clearance."

"I think it only goes up to five."

"No, this is at ten."

She looked down and didn't say anything else. He still wasn't looking at her. The awkward silence continued for a while.

"So…" Chuck finally said, and drummed on his thighs with his palms.

Blair raised an eyebrow.

"Anything on your mind?" she asked hopefully.

"No, just… thinking I should get going." He stood up and smiled crookedly. "Parenting class tomorrow. See you then?"

"Ugh, don't remind me" Blair frowned. "They are so humiliating. We are the only ones there under twenty-five!"

"How is that humiliating for us?" Chuck asked. "It's those other couples that should feel humiliated. We're teenagers, we might actually need education about babies and all that other stuff. But twenty-five year-olds?"

Blair laughed a little.

"What about the Owens?" she said. "Those two have got to be pushing forty."

"_Pushing_ forty?" Chuck echoed. "Ben Owen is definitely over the hill. His wife… probably not too far behind. And they need to take classes to learn all about the miracle of being parents. How does one make it to forty without learning these things?"

She laughed and this time he chuckled a bit too. He walked towards the door but just as he was about to leave she called his name. He stopped with one hand on the doorknob and turned to look at her.

"Thanks" she said.

"For what?"

"For showing up. For making sure that I'm okay. I've been feeling quite lonely lately and it helps to know that someone cares."

"You know you're just the incubator for my child, right?"

She shook her head and smiled. He returned the smile, although she could see that it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Sorry for asking about your mom" she offered, realizing why he had lost his good mood.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah" she nodded. "Bye."

He left, and she found herself staring at the door for almost a minute after he had left. Part of her hadn't wanted him to go. Part of her had wanted… She couldn't quite express what it was she had wanted. Or, to be more truthful, she could but didn't want to.

She grabbed her laptop with the intention of checking the Gossip Girl blast, but soon ended up surfing another website. These desires that had woken recently were about to drive her crazy. She needed some insight on how to handle sudden onsets of emotion and, above all, horniness. It wasn't as if she had a husband or even a steady boyfriend who could lend a helping hand with these problems. Unfortunately the Internet offered no help whatsoever, except to turn to porn, which she refused to lower herself to doing.

With a groan she abandoned her search for answers to this particular problem and instead went to Gossip Girl to get the dirt on Jenny Humphrey's well-earned downfall. At least that would bring _some_ satisfaction.

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	10. Chapter 10

Updates have been frequent lately, but that might be subject to change soon (getting busier at work). This chapter is completely original, no show material. It is also a bit longer than the previous two. Hope you'll enjoy!

Oh and also, I've realised this fic is going to be ridiculously long... Ten chapters and she's not even in her third trimester yet! Yikes...

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Blair stepped up on the scale in her bathroom and screamed. Dorota came hurrying in, probably thinking the apocalypse was upon them, and looked confused when she couldn't see anything looking wrong.

"Miss Blair, what happen? Are you in pain?"

"Yes!" Blair cried. "Unbelievable, unimaginable _pain_!"

Dorota looked very worried and quickly put a hand on Blair's stomach.

"Is it baby? Should I call doctor?"

"No it's not the baby, it's the _scale_!" Blair cried. "Fourteen pounds! How can I have gained _fourteen pounds_ since my birthday?"

"You are pregnant" Dorota said with a tone that implied she thought her protégée was a complete idiot.

"And a five month old fetus weighs _fourteen pounds_? Dear God, I am never going to get over this."

"Baby does not weigh fourteen pounds" Dorota said, causing Blair to groan audibly. "Water weighs a lot. One liter ways roughly two pounds."

"Stop using metrics" Blair snarled.

Dorota got her to step off the scale and walk back into the bedroom.

"Weight gain is perfectly normal" she insisted.

"Yeah but not this much" Blair whined, taking a seat. "How much water is there then? Enough to make up for the ten pounds we can't explain?"

"You also probably store water in rest of body" Dorota guessed. "And you get extra weight in more places than just stomach."

"I'm hideous" Blair shrieked, falling backwards on the bed. "Completely disgusting!"

"You are pregnant."

"That's no excuse to gain fourteen pounds in five months. And the worst part is that I'm _hungry_ right now."

"Stop being ridiculous" Dorota said. "You continue to eat properly or I will have strong word with you."

Blair shot her a death glare. The last thing she needed was to eat a lot and put on more weight. Enough was enough. She had figured fourteen pounds was about what she would gain over the entire course of the pregnancy. Full of fear she began to think of the stories she had heard in her parenting classes, about women who gained forty-five pounds or more. This morning she had woken up feeling frisky, but now she just felt devastated. Pregnancy sucked.

"I'm going to be home schooled until this is over" she declared. "I can't show my face outside. Or my ass."

"You're being silly" Dorota said. "Now get up and put clothes on. School starts in thirty minutes, you will be late."

"Who cares? My whole future is gone anyway."

"Get up or I will throw glass of water at you."

Blair looked at Dorota, surprised. The older woman didn't seem to be making an empty threat. She had a look on her face which Blair had not seen too often, but she knew better than to argue with it.

Reluctantly she got up and walked into her closet. She would have to put good thought into what she picked out to wear if she was going to be able to conceal the fact that she was now a heavy weight champion. She currently weighed twelve pounds more than she ever had before in her life, and even though she knew in the back of her mind that she had always been on the skinny side that still didn't make her feel any better.

She picked out a skirt and a blouse, both of which had been made by her mother especially for her. Normally she delighted in Eleanor making clothes for her, but not when it was maternity wear.

She got dressed and with a sullen face headed off to school. Not only was she fat, she was feeling frisky. The two did not mix very well. Why was it that you suddenly felt horny when you were already pregnant and sex wouldn't lead to anything? Talk about a construction flaw.

* * *

Finally the day was over. Chuck had seriously considered leaving after his first class and spending the rest of the day doing something that felt more rewarding than listening to one teacher after the other go on and on about everything dull under the sun. Now that the day was finally over he would go find Eric and head over to a friend's house for some video games and all in all good times.

First he had to find Blair, and give her back the pregnancy books she had loaned him. He hadn't taken so much as a glance in them, and only borrowed them to begin with on his father's insistence, and now that a couple of weeks had gone by he could return them without Bart thinking he had read through them too quickly.

He walked briskly over to the girls' hallways and spotted Blair almost immediately, coming out from her home room. He walked over and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Delivery for Waldorf" he said, handing the books over to her.

"You read them from beginning to end, I'm sure" she said dryly.

"You know me well. Fascinating read."

"You're a true gentleman too for carrying them for me."

She handed the books back to him and reached her locker. She opened it and took the books back, putting them in the locker for now. She had enough books to carry today as it was, these books could wait an additional day. She was sick and tired of hearing about pregnancy, especially with the combination of sexual frustration and excess weight gain.

"Now that Bart thinks I'm well read on the subject of things women go through that make me happy that I'm a man, I'm free to devote my spare time to more rewarding activities" Chuck remarked.

Blair didn't answer. Instead she angrily slammed her locker shut and groaned with frustration. Chuck gave her a look.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, annoyed by her annoyance.

"If you must know…" Blair began, somehow finding herself beginning to answer his question even though she had vowed she would never mention this to anyone. "Ever since I hit second trimester, or actually the fifth month, I've begun to… It's making me all…"

Chuck's face lit up in his trademark grin.

"Horny?"

Blair angrily shushed him and nervously looked around.

"Keep your voice down!"

"My, my Waldorf… I knew there was a horny little bitch in there but I had no idea it was driving you to such frustration."

"Shut up" Blair said and grabbed him by the arm to lead him away from the crowds.

"And you still like to play rough, I see."

"I have never liked playing rough."

"Oh there are scars on my back and there have been some bruises on my ass that prove otherwise."

"You are such a disgusting pig" Blair said as she led him outside. "Can we not talk about this in public?"

"What's the big deal?" Chuck asked. "Everyone knows you've had sex before. That loosely fitting cardigan is fooling precisely nobody. You're young and vibrant, what's wrong with you having needs and desires?"

"I didn't know you were the after school special on sexuality" Blair remarked.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride home" Chuck said. "My limo is waiting and I'm not sure all that walking is good for you."

"What's it to you?"

"Believe it or not I care, a little at least. Right now I especially care about your new plight. We can talk about it in the car."

"There is nothing to talk about" Blair said, but got in the limo.

They rode the first couple of blocks in silence. Blair looked out the window, mortified that she had revealed her secret to someone, and to Chuck Bass at that. Natural urges or no, it was embarrassing to come off like someone who was unable to control those urges. Teenage pregnancy out of wedlock or not, Blair liked to think of herself as a lady, and ladies didn't go around letting their urges drive them.

"Here's what I don't get" Chuck said. "If you're horny and want to get laid then what's stopping you? It can't be the honorable notion that it would be wrong to sleep with another man while carrying my love child."

"There's no love involved here whatsoever" Blair snarled, turning to look at him.

"The lady doth protest too much."

"The non-gentleman doth annoy too much."

"Seriously" Chuck said. "If you want to get laid then get yourself laid."

"How?" Blair snorted.

"You know how. You've proven as much in the back of this very limo."

"That's not what I mean, you perv."

"Then what?"

She looked away again, feeling even more exposed and embarrassed than before. Though at the same time she knew that oddly enough Chuck might be the only guy she could talk to about things like this. For all his bad qualities he had never made fun of her when she had opened up about a genuine problem and he always knew when it was time to stop jerking her around and be a friend.

"Come on Chuck" she said. "Who would sleep with me like this? I'm all swollen and bloated and ugly."

"You are not."

"Yes I am. I look like a served cow. I'm starting to get stretch marks on my stomach and they're hideous, and my ass is getting embarrassingly big."

"Your ass looks great, you're not fat you have a baby bump, and I can't stop staring at your boobs when you pretend to not know I'm looking. You're still a beauty."

"No, I'm a pregnant loser. Someone who once looked good but now I'm just damaged goods. Besides, even if there are guys out there who would be willing to sleep with me, I wouldn't want to sleep with them. What kind of a creep has a one night stand with a woman who's visibly pregnant by another man?"

"Then I have the solution to your problem" he said, leaning a bit closer.

"Gross, I refuse to use a vibrator."

"Not what I had in mind. What I'm saying here is that if you have an itch then why don't you let me scratch it?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Not at all. We've done it before, so what's the big deal? I keep hearing how I should try and help you out as best as I can and this is one problem I would be very good at solving."

"You're sick. What if it's not even yours?"

"It's definitely a Bass in there if it's making you react that way" Chuck grinned.

She bit her bottom lip without replying. On one hand it was almost irresistible, the offer to have her undeniably skilled former lover give her the release she definitely craved. On the other hand she didn't want to confuse things between them, and she didn't really care for him to see her naked in this state.

"It's up to you" Chuck smirked. "Get release or stay horny. Either way I'll probably get laid before the day is over, if not with you then with whichever lucky woman catches my eye at the Palace bar."

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special."

"You are special. Sex isn't."

"You'd really want to have sex with a pregnant woman?" Blair asked incredulously.

"Why not? Your belly might be bigger but what's below is still the same."

"One of these days I'm going to slap you so hard it will leave a permanent hand print on your cheek" Blair snarled.

He just laughed and she turned her face back to stare out the window. God he was such a disgusting jerk. Neither of them spoke until they reached her address. She hesitated for a second and then met Chuck's smirk as she reached for the door handle.

"Thanks for the ride" she said.

"Oh any time. Am I invited up?"

"We can't do it here" Blair said with a head shake, accepting his offer without actually having to say the words.

"Why not? We've had sex at least half a dozen times up in your room."

"Chuck I'm really frustrated" Blair said, abandoning pretense altogether. "Believe me when I say I am going to be _very_ relieved to finally get some, and the last thing I want is to have to hold back because there are people right outside the door."

"Sounds like I'm in for quite an afternoon" Chuck grinned. "Fine, name the place then. My suite-"

"Your suite at the Palace is out" she said. "I don't want to risk anyone thinking I'm there just to have sex."

"You've visited me there before, why would they suddenly think you're there to get the Bass bed treatment?"

"Just find someplace secluded, someplace where nobody will recognize us" Blair said. "And then text me the address."

"Wait, what?"

"I'm not going to _arrive_ there with you" Blair snorted, opening the door to step out. "Find a place, text me the address, meet me there in two hours. And take some Viagra."

"As if I need it" Chuck snorted.

"Chuck I have never needed sex more in my entire life" Blair said. "If you're going to do this with me then you had better deliver. _A lot_."

With that she was out of the limo and slammed the door shut. Chuck laughed slightly, feeling himself getting more and more excited. Finally a chance to get back into bed with her. Their sexual compatibility had always worked in his favor in the past.

* * *

Two hours later a highly uncomfortable Blair Waldorf walked in to the small hotel in a part of New York she was sure she had never visited before. Luckily Chuck had at least chosen something somewhat classy, even if it wasn't exactly the Four Seasons. She walked over to the front desk and harked, catching the attention of the man behind the desk, trying to look confident and not betray the awkwardness she felt.

"Ah, you must be Mrs. Hepburn" the man said, casting a quick glance at her midsection. "Your husband said you would arrive within the hour."

Blair opened her mouth to object to being referred to as Chuck's wife, even if it was with the surname Hepburn, but then promptly closed it again. She was a pregnant woman on her way to meet up with a man in a hotel room. Letting the hotel staff believe they were a young married couple seemed like the best option. Her hand automatically landed on the bump, caressing it through the fabric of the dress she had changed into.

"So he's still here?" she said and forced a smile.

"Yes" the man smiled.

Blair nodded slightly and wished he would hurry up and give her a key. Now that her release was so near she most definitely didn't want to wait any longer, and she had a feeling that if she had to stand around here and wait her state of mind would be far too clear.

Finally she got a key in her hand and with another fake smile at the hotel employee she left the front desk and made her way to the second floor where their room was. Great, he couldn't even get them a suite. Then again, places like this might not even have suites.

Feeling a bit nervous she stopped outside the door and took a second to relax before knocking. After a few seconds Chuck came and opened, looking very amused.

"You're holding a key, wife. Why are you knocking?"

"Don't call me that" Blair said, walking past him into the room.

She heard him chuckle behind her as he closed the door. She stopped and took a look around. It was basically just a bed, a dresser with a TV on it and a closet. She frowned.

"Seriously?"

"Look, we're only here to use one piece of furniture" Chuck said, walking up to her. "And if you want them to believe you're the wife of a guy who's in his early twenties at the oldest, checking in to a hotel in this part of the city, then I couldn't very well go with one of the more lavish rooms, now could I? That would have 'sordid affair' written all over it."

"Sadly there is no one to have an affair against" Blair sighed, taking off her coat and carelessly tossing it on a chair.

She was more nervous than she would like to admit. Far more nervous than she had been when she offered her virginity to Chuck. That had been a spur of the moment thing, but this was something else entirely. She had no idea how this would go, how it could end up natural and relaxed. She felt incredibly self-conscious and almost wanted to laugh at how silly the whole situation was.

Chuck wasn't laughing. Naturally he seemed to know exactly what to do. As if this wasn't the first time he had met up with a girl he had knocked up just to have some pregnancy-induced-horniness sex.

He walked up to her and moved a strain of hair away from her face before he kissed her. First he kissed her with his mouth closed, then he captured her bottom lip between his. Then his hands wrapped around her as they shared several kisses with tongues involved.

"Relax…" he mumbled.

"I am relaxed."

"Yeah, you and that squirrel thing from '_Ice Age_' both."

He kissed her again and then pulled back. She watched him go over to the bed and pull the bedspread aside before plopping down on the bed and looking at her and making a gesture that told her to come on over. She hesitated and glanced at the sheets. Who knew what kind of things had gone on in this bed, on those sheets?

"This will make a lot more logistical sense if you're on the bed too" he said with a smirk. "Or you can start by losing the maternity dress."

She swallowed hard. The thought of undressing in front of him, of letting him see her naked like this, was very unappealing. The previous times he had seen her naked she had looked good, now she no longer did. She glanced around the room, hating the lighting which did nothing to hide her body. It would have been nicer to just draw the curtains and turn the lights off, but Chuck had never agreed to that in the past so why would he now?

"Hello?" she heard him say. "Waldorf? If you've changed your mind just say so. If not, what are we waiting for?"

"You first" she said. "You lose your clothes."

With a scoffing chuckle he began to unbutton his dress shirt while throwing her an amused glance. She watched him shed his shirt, his shoes and his socks before unbuckling his belt.

"Wait!" she said.

He looked up.

"Had a change of heart?"

"No" she said.

"Then what? I've got to tell you, it's going to be a highly unpleasant experience for both of us if I keep the pants on."

"I'd just rather you kept the pants on until you've seen me without clothes."

"That… has happened before."

"Not since I started showing it hasn't" Blair said. "And I'd really rather not see you lose your erection once you see me like this. So just keep them on until your Viagra kicks in."

"I'm not on any Viagra" Chuck said with a little laugh. "And you look great Blair. Stop obsessing about your body and get that body over here. Either we're doing this or we're not, make up your mind."

She let her eyes wander over his naked upper body and land on his face. She had always been sexually attracted to him, even more so once she found out what it was like to actually have sex with him. And the constant arousal she had been feeling for the past twelve days was driving her crazy. Since he so generously offered she knew she would use him to gain her release. It might cost her a bit of her pride at the moment, but for some reason she didn't care. Annoyingly enough, whenever she and the pregnancy had a difference of opinion or a battle of wills she always seemed to end up on the losing side.

Without further ado she reached down and grabbed the hem of her dress. It was a loosely fitting white summer dress, tight over her chest and loose below. It was easy to simply pull it over her head and she tossed it on the chair behind her.

She looked over at him and thankfully the look in his eyes as they trailed over her was appreciative. Especially when his eyes came up to her chest. He seemed to be practically drooling at the sight of her now one size larger breasts.

"Believe me" he said. "There is no loss of anything over here right now. Except the ability to form completely coherent thoughts."

"Lose the pants then."

Without taking his eyes off her he fumbled with his belt and buttons before finally getting naked.

"Did you bring condoms?" Blair asked.

"I don't have STDs Blair" Chuck said. "I've been clean for like eight months."

She nodded, and didn't reveal that she hadn't even thought about sexually transmitted diseases. The question had been a reflex, but of course she didn't need to protect herself against pregnancy now.

She walked over to the bed and he sat up and scooted over to the edge. Looking up at her he let his hands gently caress her side, then her stomach and run down to her panties. It was the only pair she owned that both fitted her now and looked sexy. Usually she just wore whatever was large and comfortable at this stage, not seeing the point of wearing expensive thongs when she was in this condition. She only had the one pair and right now she was glad she at least had those.

Chuck's fingers grabbed the sides of her thong and he pulled them down. She stepped out of them, feeling relieved that he didn't seem to find her repulsive. His hands ran back up her legs, eventually resting on her rear, pulling her closer. He kissed her swelling belly and then smiled at her as he reached up his hands to her shoulders and pulled her down for a kiss.

* * *

A smile was on Blair's lips later that afternoon when her breaths finally slowed down to normal. She was lying on her back in the bed, next to Chuck who was still panting. She reached up her hand and let it caress her belly, feeling relaxed and completely satisfied.

It had been everything she had needed. Chuck had taken good care of her, seeming to sense what she needed, either from having been her partner in the past or from knowing her well after years of friendship. She had deeply missed physical contact and really needed someone to touch her and hold her close. He had done exactly that, caressing and kissing her all over and keeping her in his arms throughout. He had made her feel beautiful, desirable and cared for. That had almost felt as rewarding as the numerous orgasms she had enjoyed.

Next to her, Chuck was trying hard to stay awake. Once Blair had gotten past her initial insecurities she had really given in to her cravings of release and he had been working hard to meet her demands. He hoped she hadn't picked up on how he had found it much weirder than he had anticipated to have sex with someone who was pregnant.

There had just been something that felt odd about having sex with a _mother_, one who was still carrying her baby. He'd slept with women who were mothers in the past, but none of them had had their child still inside their body at the time. It had felt almost wrong, like he was committing a sacrilege of some sort, and he couldn't understand where that feeling had come from.

Then there was of course the logistic differences when a baby bump was involved. But once his initial hang-ups had begun to fade away as his arousal grew the two of them had begun to experiment with the different positions they could go for. Still, it had just been strange to wrap his arms around her from behind and feel a large bump where he was only used to feeling her flat stomach.

But by and by he had grown accustomed to her new body shape, and he had been telling her the truth before when he told her she looked good. The deeper truth however was that he couldn't care less how she looked. He wanted her in his bed regardless. It was his most shameful secret, but he still had feelings for her, stronger than he dared to let anybody know. Seeing her pregnant with his child certainly didn't do anything to cure him of these feelings, and even though they were both too young he couldn't help but sometimes let his mind entertain the idea of the two of them being together as a real couple, having a real family.

The biggest problem with that thought was that he knew Blair didn't share his feelings. He could see her looking at Nate sometimes and it drove Chuck crazy. What did she need Archibald for anyway? He was the guy who had dumped her for having the audacity to sleep with his best friend, as if Nate himself was in a position to cast the first stone. And as far as Chuck knew he had never made any attempts to be there for Blair through this. While they all operated on the assumption that the baby was Chuck's they all knew there was still a small chance that it was in fact an Archibald baby. But Nate had just left all the fatherly responsibilities to Chuck and turned his back on both his best friend and his ex-girlfriend.

As long as Blair still seemed hooked on Nate there was no way Chuck would dare to let on how he really felt for her. She already held far too much power over him and he couldn't afford to give her any more. Which was why he had suggested to her earlier that she should just go out and find some random guy to sleep with. The thought of her doing so sickened him, but he thought he knew her well enough to know she would never go for something like that. By suggesting it he thus threw her off track without taking the risk of actually pushing her into some other guy's arms.

In fact, this had worked out well for him. A few hours in bed with the girl who was on his mind all around the clock. Hopefully a reminder to her of just how damn good they were together. If only he knew the right thing to do to make her open up her eyes and see how much he really cared. Having this baby was a huge changeover for them both, and he would very much like to go through the adjustment period together with her. She insisted on keeping him at arm's length, but today she had taken him to bed.

He was taken out of his thoughts when he felt Blair move on the bed next to him. Just as he was starting to think that if she wanted another round he really would need some Viagra she sat up in bed and looked down at him.

"Thanks" she said.

"You're welcome. Glad to do my… duties as your…"

"Yeah."

She got up and went over to the small bathroom.

"I hope there's a bathtub in here" she said, more to herself than to him. "Shit, I'm sticky all over."

"No tub" he said. "Just a shower. Don't use up all the hot water, I need to shower too before we leave."

"Then here's the plan" she said. "I take a shower, and then while _you're_ in the shower I get out of here."

"Why not just leave together?"

"You know why."

"Yeah, but I registered us as husband and wife" Chuck said. "They'll find it a lot more suspicious if we leave separately."

"I'll just storm out of here and mutter under my breath that you're a selfish jerk and they will think we had a hormone-induced fight" Blair said with a sweet smile before going into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

Chuck watched the closed door for a moment until he heard the water start up. He then sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Pleasure to service you, Waldorf…" he muttered to himself.

* * *

Oh come on, you all knew the events of this chapter were coming ;) But anyone who's ever read anything I've written before knows it doesn't necessarily mean smooth sailing… Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

People seemed pleased with the events of last chapter… Hardly surprising ;) Major thanks to all who reviewed!

This chapter follows the show quite closely at places, but once the plotline it follows is over there will be much fewer chapters that borrow from the show.

* * *

Serena arrived at the Waldorf penthouse looking anything but calm and relaxed. Blair looked up from the textbook she had been reading and frowned. They had made plans to go shop for baby clothes together but Serena didn't exactly seem like she was in the mood for anything like that. If anything she looked a touch frantic.

"S?" Blair said. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything is fine" Serena said, obviously lying as she took a seat.

"You sure?"

"Everything is great" Serena fake-smiled. "What about you?"

"Oh everything is just super with me" Blair said with a hint of sarcasm. "Being pregnant is such a bliss. Apparently, something trying to kick the living crap out of you from inside your own body is a _good_ thing."

"Uh-huh" Serena said, paying little attention. "Listen, B, you mind if we do the shopping thing tomorrow?"

"I suppose not" Blair said. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Just… Just problems with Dan" Serena sighed.

"Oh. In that case, feel free to sort them out first and come hang out later, so I won't have to listen to too much Humphrey talk. Nausea has finally started to go away and I don't need to have it back."

"Okay" Serena nodded. "Look, I'll call you later. Okay?"

"Okay" Blair said, eyeing Serena suspiciously.

Serena walked back to the elevator and Blair tried to focus on school. She couldn't understand why Serena didn't just give up on Dan already. He was way beneath her but kept acting like it was the other way around. In Blair's opinion he should consider himself heavenly blessed that someone like Serena even acknowledged his existence. Instead he seemed to be more about criticizing every part of Serena's existence. Serena deserved better, and even though Blair knew her best friend loved him she secretly hoped the relationship would be over soon. Loving someone didn't necessarily mean that you were good for one another.

* * *

The next time Blair saw Serena she wasn't expecting her. It was late in the evening, she was in the kitchen, having a snack on Dorota's insistence, when she heard the elevator ding. She walked out into the hallway and found her best friend looking like she was in the middle of a brand new crisis.

"Blair…" Serena said.

"Serena what are you doing here?" Blair asked. "It's late."

Instead of answering Serena just began to cry.

"What happened?" Blair asked. "What's wrong?"

If it was Dan Humphrey he would soon find himself on the business end of a pregnant girl gone loco. Serena wasn't so eager to talk however. She just cried and said she couldn't talk about it, to anyone, ever. She took a seat at the bottom of the steps and Blair sat down with her, despite her better judgment, knowing it wouldn't be easy getting back up from there. She put her hand on Serena's and tried to get her to talk.

"You can't be a part of this" Serena sobbed. "The baby can't and you can't."

"What are you talking about? You're starting to scare me."

Serena still didn't spill whatever it was that was making her so upset. Clearly this wasn't just about Dan. If it was then Serena would have told her. If Blair had forgiven her for sleeping with Nate then she wasn't going to judge her to pieces for anything she might have done to Dan, or Dan might have done to her. But nothing Blair said seemed to make a difference.

"What _is_ it?" she asked.

"I killed someone" Serena finally said.

Blair stared at her, thunderstruck. Serena seemed to wait for her to say something and Blair finally found her words.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Serena began to talk and Blair tried to follow. She had asked Serena about two months ago to step up with a scandal, and she really had come through this time. It all sounded insane, and the fact that Serena was near hysterical didn't make her any easier to follow.

"Slow down" Blair said gently. "It's okay. Just relax. Relax, and tell me everything from the start."

Serena burst into tears again and hid her face in her hands.

"Okay, just stay put" Blair said and managed to get up. "I'm going to go find something for you, okay? Don't go anywhere."

She went upstairs to get her mother's valium. When she got back down Serena was gone.

* * *

The following morning Chuck walked into Blair's building and stepped on to the elevator. Nate was there, and it was far from a happy reunion.

"Hey" Chuck offered.

Instead of saying anything back Nate made a point at not looking at Chuck. Following the most awkward elevator ride in the history of forever they stepped off the elevator, both realizing they were both there on Blair's request and both trying to figure out why. Chuck made a point of striding in first, and in a manner that seemed to suggest that he was more at home there than Nate was, even though Nate had spent years being Blair's boyfriend while Chuck only had about six months of experience lolling about there without Nate's company.

They both looked around to spot Blair but she was nowhere to be found. They stopped, and Chuck twirled his hat around.

"Think she's nesting and just wants us all to get along?" Chuck wondered.

"She can keep dreaming" Nate sulked.

Dorota walked in from another room and told them that Blair asked them to stay put and wait. Chuck frowned and Nate's eyebrows reached the ceiling.

"She's not even here?" Nate asked.

"Pregnancy antics…" Chuck commented with a chuckle, walking over to the divan to take a seat. "Obey her every whim or she might eat you."

Nate sighed and wished he had been wise enough not to answer Blair's call. Alone time with Chuck was the last thing he wished for but knowing Blair she was probably absent specifically so that the two boys would have to spend some one on one time together. If she thought this was going to make them talk and overcome their differences then she could think again.

He watched with annoyance how Chuck made himself very much at home. He found himself wondering what had really transpired between his former best friend and his former girlfriend in the past couple of months. Chuck sure seemed like he had been here enough to start to feel like home, but that could all just be for Nate's benefit, to annoy him as much as possible. Nate didn't know how much time Chuck and Blair had spent together outside of the parenting classes they were forced to attend together, but the sudden realization that maybe the two of them had been hanging out a lot made Nate feel jealous.

Refusing to be the first one to strike up conversation he wandered over to the window and looked out on the city as if it was terribly interesting. Chuck remained on the divan, twirling his hat around with a smirk Nate so wished to wipe right off his face. Finally the elevator rang and Blair came walking in.

"There you are" Nate said. "Is something actually wrong, or is this just some ploy to get us both here?"

"I meant what I said on the phone" a shaken Blair said, clearly not playing games right now. "I need your help. _We_ need your help."

She walked back to the elevator. Chuck frowned and got up from the divan and together with Nate followed her. On the floor of the elevator sat Serena. The drunken, moaning mess version of her.

"Oh my God" Nate exclaimed as he and Chuck lifted Serena to her feet.

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked her.

"You got her here all by yourself?" Nate asked Blair as they began to walk out of the elevator with Serena's arms draped over their shoulders.

"You're not supposed to do any heavy lifting" Chuck added. "Even if it is drunk Serena. _Especially_ if it's drunk Serena."

"The doorman at the club helped me get her to the cab" Blair explained. "Then the doorman downstairs helped me get her to the elevator. Now I need your help getting her upstairs."

Chuck continued to try and get something out of Serena as they began to walk up the stairs but she just mumbled incoherently. Nate turned and looked at Blair with questioning eyes but she said nothing as they headed for her bedroom.

Once they reached Blair's bedroom Serena seemed to come to a bit and realize where she was. She wrestled out of Nate and Chuck's grip and flung herself on the bed.

"Get up" Blair said.

"Leave her for now" Chuck said. "I'm heading out to find something to cure her hangover. Let her lie there until I get back. You'll need both Nate and me to get her to her feet again, I should figure."

Serena moaned loudly into the pillow but for once Blair didn't seem to care that someone got alcohol-filled drool all over her favorite pillows. She leaned over and gave Serena a smack on the cheek.

"Ow!" Serena complained.

"You need to stay awake" Blair said. "Nate help me with her!"

"Serena talk to me" Nate said.

"Just leave me alone" Serena whined.

"No" Blair insisted. "Serena talk to us or I will find my headphones, put them in your ears and then blast music really loudly until your ears start to bleed."

"I'm tired, B!" Serena protested.

Blair groaned and tried to keep her awake. Why Chuck had gone out on his own instead of sending Dorota was beyond her. He was right, they needed to be two people to get Serena up, and in Blair's current condition she really shouldn't be half-carrying anyone. Especially not one as wasted as Serena. She had little to no idea of what her limbs were doing, and having to dodge Serena's flailing arms was a little too adventurous for Blair's liking.

"She's totally wasted!" Nate exclaimed.

"I know."

They continued to try and keep Serena awake and she continued to try and fend them off. Finally Chuck returned with shopping bags.

"That took forever" Blair said.

"But, we have every hangover cure known to man" Chuck said. "Plus bagels. This should help soak up the alcohol and whatever else she took. Rise and shine, sis. Your kindly brother brought you your old friends the bagels."

"I'll take that" Blair said. "Or just put it over there. Right now I need you boys to get her to the bathroom. We need to get her in the shower and we need to keep her awake and talking."

"No, I just want to sleep" Serena protested.

"Come on" Blair said to Serena. "Open your eyes and get up."

Chuck gently nudged her aside and together with Nate more or less lifted a protesting Serena up on her feet. Blair asked Dorota for a fresh change of clothes and a bathrobe before hurrying into the bathroom. She motioned for the boys to sit her down on the edge of the bathtub and then ushered them out.

"Thank you, I'll take it from here."

She began to pull Serena's shirt over her head and started running the bathwater. Then she closed the door as Serena griped about the water being cold.

"You need it cold" Blair insisted. "You need to sober up. We can't make any sense of this until you've sobered up."

Serena responded by diving for the toilet and throwing up.

"Hang on, I'll get you something" Blair said before walking back out to Nate and Chuck. "We may not need those bagels after all."

"What's going on with her?" Nate asked.

Blair gave them a rapid retelling of what had happened last night while Dorota went in to tend to Serena. She opened one of the bags Chuck had brought and fished out a bottle of water and whatever else she could get her hands on, bringing it back into the bathroom.

"We're here to help Serena" she told Nate and Chuck before closing the bathroom door. "Whatever the problem is."

Dorota had managed to get Serena out of her clothes and together with Blair they got her in the tub. Blair grabbed a sponge and some shower cream, deciding that if nothing else Serena could at least smell like pomegranate rather than smoke and booze. While she scrubbed her best friend's arms and back she went over the events of the previous night in her head again.

Blair had gone upstairs to find her mother's valium and when she had gotten back down Serena had been gone. Blair had gone to all of Serena's usual spots and even contemplated using Gossip Girl to find her, but it was the middle of the night by then and most people their age were asleep in their beds rather than up checking Gossip Girl.

Finally she had found Serena, nearly passed out over a table in a shady club and with her blonde hair lying in a pool of peach Bacardi someone had spilt. It had been completely gross, but for once Blair hadn't cared. She had managed to get help to get Serena up and out of the club, grateful that Serena was at least in somewhat undamaged shape. Getting Serena from the club back to the penthouse had been far from easy, as Serena had protested and on one occasion dove out of the cab to make a run for it. Finally her energy had worn out and she had more or less just slumped into a helpless heap. It was at that point Blair had decided to call in backup.

She sent Dorota downstairs for some more towels. The relatively cold water had seemed to make Serena sober up a bit and she was now studying her hair with a frown. Blair deemed her lucid enough to be able to not drown if she was left alone in the tub, and went downstairs to help Dorota. Chuck followed in her tracks while Nate stayed behind.

"You must be exhausted" Chuck said as they walked down the stairs. "Look, Nate and I are here now. Why don't you let us take over for a while and you can get some rest?"

"I can rest later, right now Serena needs me" Blair said. "Besides, until I'm able to make some coherent sense out of all the things she said last night I don't think I will be able to rest. It was crazy, Chuck."

"At least lie down for a while and let Dorota, Nate and me do the running around. You can lie perched on your bed like a pasha and order us around. Sounds right up your alley."

"I'm fine."

Chuck sighed and wanted to protest, but he knew there was no arguing with Blair when she was like this. While she hurried off after Dorota he walked into the kitchen. He had brought the bag of bagels with him downstairs and might as well make himself useful with them.

Not long thereafter the universe decided to prove that bad things never come in singles, as Dan Humphrey showed up, demanding to speak with Serena. He looked more than a little surprised to find not only Chuck but also Nate, who came walking down the stairs, present. He looked at Blair and at the two guys and couldn't seem to make sense of it.

"Don't all of you hate each other?" he asked.

"Yes" Blair said.

"No" Chuck claimed.

"Absolutely" Nate emphasized.

"Fascinating" Dan claimed. "And, and right for a psychiatrist's case study somewhere. But amidst all this presumed baby bonding, or baby shower, or whatever this is… I am looking for Serena."

"She's not here" Chuck said.

Dan wasn't buying it. Blair wasn't in the mood for trying to convince Dan when he seemed that sure that Serena was there so she switched tactics and told him Serena didn't want to see him. Which was probably true, at least at the moment. Serena was a right mess. Not even she could pull off her current look and still be fabulous. Dan looked from Blair over to Chuck and Nate. Neither of them said a word but the looks on their faces seemed to collaborate Blair's story. Not that this meant Dan bought any of it.

Annoyed as he was, he couldn't help but reflect on how strong the loyalty seemed to be between them. Even with the giant mess Blair, Nate and Chuck were in with their personal relationships to one another they had still done that highly annoying upper-class thing where they closed ranks and banded together to protect one of their own from the outsider. What Dan couldn't figure out was why Serena would need them to fend him off.

He called Serena's name and tried to make a move for the stairs, but the three musketeers literally closed the ranks and blocked his access to the stairs. When he tried to move past them Chuck pushed him back.

"Come on" Dan groaned, highly annoyed by now.

"If you want to get past you're going to have to tackle a pregnant girl" Blair said softly.

"And all four of us know you're going to have to go through Nate and me to even put your hands on her" Chuck filled in.

"Seriously!" Dan snarled. "I'm not going to manhandle a pregnant girl and I shouldn't have to just to get to speak to my girlfriend."

"What are you doing?" Serena asked, coming down the stairs.

"S…" Blair said.

"It's okay" Serena insisted, and walked past her friends.

"Seriously, you should go sit down at least" Chuck mumbled in Blair's ear while Serena began to speak with Dan.

"I'm fine right where I am" Blair insisted.

He picked up a bagel from the trey he had put down on the table and gave it to her.

"Eat something at least."

"We're here for Serena, not me."

Nate angrily shushed them, nodding towards Serena and Dan. Chuck rolled his eyes. Yeah, let's be quiet and give them some privacy. Instead of going into another room, giving them some privacy. Not that he planned on going anywhere. Not unless Serena asked them to.

They watched silently as Serena told Dan she had cheated on him, and he ended things with her. Blair glanced over at Nate and Chuck, the former not taking his eyes off Serena and Dan and the latter making a face and studying his shoes. Once Dan had left Serena turned around and looked at them helplessly. Blair walked over to her, absentmindedly taking a bite from the bagel in her hand.

"S are you okay?"

"I can't believe I just did that" Serena said, trembling.

A few seconds later she was back to rambling nonsense about the horrible thing she had supposedly done, which did not include cheating on her boyfriend, but was still too horrible to talk about.

"You're starting to scare even me" Chuck finally said. "What did you do?"

Serena walked over to the sitting area and took a seat, the other three in tow.

"I can't tell you" she said for the umpteenth time.

"You don't have to hide anything from us" Blair insisted.

"She's right Serena" Nate said. "I mean, none of us are saints."

"Yeah" Blair said, and nodded towards Chuck. "I had sex with him in the back of a limo."

"Several times" Chuck non-helped.

"And I got pregnant" Blair continued, ignoring him. "Unless of course I got pregnant a few weeks later by the other guy I slept with."

"And I had sex with you at a wedding, while I was her date" Nate added to Serena with a nod to Blair. Then he glared at Chuck. "Once. And, also, might have gotten a girl pregnant."

Blair looked at Chuck with a prodding expression.

"I'm Chuck Bass" he shrugged.

Blair made a face and Serena didn't look too comforted. But finally after some further prodding she took a trembling breath and begun to tell her friends what had she had done.

* * *

Nate woke Blair up five hours later. She had fallen asleep on her bed next to Serena, both of them herded up to bed by Chuck and Nate. They needed sleep, especially Serena who had Bart and Lily's rehearsal dinner that night. Before they drifted off Blair had promised Serena she would go with her to the dinner, even though Bart would probably not appreciate her making an appearance with her baby bump of not yet determined origins. Screw Bart Bass, being there for Serena was more important.

When Nate shook her awake she groaned and tried to swat him away. Once she had relaxed a little and gotten into bed she had realized exactly how much she needed her rest. She had no intention of getting up again without having slept for at least eight hours.

"Go away" she whined.

"Oh I wish I could" Nate said. "But Dorota says you need to come up and eat something. Chuck left, so it's just me here."

"Why are you here?" Blair wanted to know, keeping her eyes shut. "I can manage Serena on my own from here. Look, she's sleeping soundly right next to me." She opened her eyes. "She is, isn't she?"

"She is, but I wanted to make sure Georgina doesn't show up to bother her, or you."

"That's very chivalrous of you" Blair mumbled, closing her eyes again. "But we have doormen to keep the scum out."

"Fine, I'll leave" Nate said. "But only after you've gotten up and gone downstairs to have something to eat. Dorota's made soup for you."

"I don't need soup, I need sleep."

"The baby needs both."

"The baby needs to mind its own business and let me sleep."

Done arguing Nate grabbed a hold of her shoulders and pulled her up to a sitting position, which was far more difficult than he had expected. He then lifted her feet over the edge of the bed, leaving her sitting up.

"Fine" she said with a big sigh.

She got up and rubbed her aching neck with one hand. She had been sleeping in an angle, it seemed. She slowly made her way out her room, barely aware that Nate was following one step behind. At the back of her mind she wondered if he was still seeing the Brooklyn trash, but right now she was too tired to care. She was too tired to even feel happy that he was looking out for her, taking an interest in how she was doing.

She walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where Dorota had put out a bowl of steaming hot soup. Blair sat down and grabbed a biscuit, chewing on it absentmindedly.

"So all has been quiet these past hours?" she then asked Nate.

"Yeah, pretty much" he said, taking a seat opposite her. "Dead quiet, except for yours and Serena's snores of course."

"We do not snore!" Blair snorted.

He laughed and grabbed one of her biscuits. She smiled slightly and took a spoon full of soup. Once she began to eat she realized how hungry she was. Dorota walked in with a glass of water for her and nodded with approval when she saw Blair eating.

"I knew you would be hungry" she said.

"Why do I feel like I haven't eaten in days?" Blair mused, grabbing another biscuit. "Running around New York looking for Serena van der Woodsen in the middle of the night apparently gives you quite the appetite."

Nate smiled. Then he looked thoughtful.

"What do you really think of this whole business?" he asked.

"Obviously S didn't _murder_ the guy" Blair said once Dorota had left the room. "But it can still become a real big problem for her. We need a plan. I just need a little more food and a lot more sleep before I can think it out."

"Do you think she will be able to work things out with Dan?"

"If she isn't then no real harm done" Blair shrugged.

"Come on, Blair."

"I forgave you for cheating, didn't I?" Blair pointed out. "If you really love someone you will at least _consider_ forgiving them."

"Yeah, but-"

"No there is no 'but'" Blair argued. "I'm not saying you _have_ to forgive someone, I'm just saying that if you really love somebody I think you'll try."

"Are we talking about Serena and Dan, or you and me?"

"Either way, Serena _didn't_ cheat."

"This conversation is starting to confuse me" Nate sighed.

"Well maybe your brain missed its nap time" Blair said snidely.

She finished her soup, starting to feel tired of Nate. When she was done she yawned big and stretched her arms out.

"You done eating?" Nate asked.

"Yep" Blair said and got up. "Back to bed. And hey, Nate? Now that the immediate crisis is over and Serena and I are just recharging our batteries, perhaps you would be better off getting your vaccinations so you can carry on dating that thing from Brooklyn, instead of playing knight in shining armor to your ex-girlfriend and ex-lover."

"You were the one who called me here" Nate pointed out.

"And your services are no longer needed. I still don't get why you haven't left."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"We? As in both of us? Serena's the one with the turmoil, not me."

Nate looked down at her belly and then back up. Judging by the look on his face it was the fact that the child still _might_ be his that made him feel like keeping an eye out for Blair as well. She rolled her eyes.

"Baby and I have done just fine without you these past six months" she said. "Now if you'll excuse me."

She walked past him back up to her bedroom and closed the door shut. She got back on the bed next to Serena, who hadn't moved an inch while Blair had been gone. Blair pulled up the comforter to her earlobes and tried to ignore the kicks from the baby as she tried to go back to sleep.

* * *

A few hours later Blair and Serena met up with Chuck to go attend Bart and Lily's rehearsal dinner. They had barely arrived before Lily showed up and walked off with Serena, leaving Blair and Chuck standing by the door. Blair turned to Chuck with a worried look.

"What do you think Lily wants?" she asked.

"She's been looking for Serena all day" Chuck said. "I told her she was with you. Made up something baby related, I hope you don't mind."

"Whatever."

She gazed out into the room and suddenly felt very self-conscious. A lot of eyes were on her and she and the additional person inside her dress had apparently gotten the gossip going already.

"Vultures aplenty tonight" she noted.

"And unfortunately, a hawk" Chuck said, nodding in his father's direction.

Blair looked to where he was nodding and groaned. Bart Bass was staring at her, not looking too pleased. Not that she cared. Bart was the one who was usually all about everyone behaving like the baby was Chuck's, and in line with that thinking Blair really ought to be at the rehearsal dinner. But of course her presence meant focus on Chuck's latest adventures and the latest Bass scandal, and Bart wanted none of that at his rehearsal dinner.

"Why is it such a big deal that I'm here?" Blair asked Chuck. "I'm invited to the actual wedding."

"A lot of dignities here tonight" Chuck explained. "He doesn't want to have any limelight on my mishaps. At the wedding the main focus will probably be on the bride anyway. Plus it's a larger event and you'll blend in more."

"Yeah, I'll be a real stealth queen among all those other pregnant teens" Blair said. "Excuse me, Lily just walked off and Serena doesn't look too happy."

She left Chuck and hurried over to Serena, who was looking like she had been struck by lightning for circa the third time that day. At first she couldn't even get Serena to tell her what had happened; her friend just cried wordlessly. Blair held her and stroke her hair and felt a little like she was getting a warm up course in motherhood, trying to comfort someone who was crying and seemingly unable to express what was wrong.

She led Serena to the bathroom so they could get at least some seclusion and eventually managed to get Serena to tell her what had happened.

"Mom doesn't want to listen to me" Serena sobbed. "She's sending me to military school."

"Oh God" Blair said.

"B what do I do?" Serena asked. "I can't leave. Not now! I need to work things out with Dan, and I have to be around here for you."

"Did you tell Lily everything?" Blair asked. "Is that why she's making you leave?"

"No, she found that tape Georgina made."

"Oh God."

"She didn't watch the whole thing. She actually stopped before she got to the worst part. But what she saw was enough."

"Does she know what happened with Pete Fairman?"

"No, and I'm glad, because what she saw was enough for her to make up her mind. She thinks I'm just this horrible person who drinks and does drugs and doesn't care about what it does to other people. Blair I tried to explain to her but she wouldn't listen! If my own mother won't even listen to me then…"

She trailed off into another fit of sobs. Blair found a napkin in her purse and handed it to Serena.

"Take a deep breath" she said. "Try to be calm, and try to stop crying. You need to go over your makeup before you can leave this bathroom. While you do, I am going to have a little talk with Lily."

"Blair, no."

"Yes" Blair insisted. "Look, she needs to know what's really going on here. I can't let her send you away! You helped me stay when I thought I couldn't. Now it's my turn to help you. Seriously, you have mascara all the way down to your chin."

She left the bathroom before Serena could protest and walked back into the dining room. Lily was with Bart, talking to some of their guests. Blair strode up to her, not caring if she was speaking to the Dalai Lama himself.

"Don't send her away" she said.

Lily turned away from Bart with a strained smile.

"Blair, it's not polite to interrupt."

"Perhaps you should be home, resting" Bart added.

"I don't care who hears" Blair said. "And I don't need rest. Just don't send her away."

"Excuse me" Lily said to Bart and the couple they were talking to. She grabbed Blair by the arm and began to walk. "Thank you Blair, but it's not exactly any of your business what I do with my daughter. As you will soon find out, being a parent is much harder than it looks."

"Obviously not" Blair frowned. "The minute they misbehave you just send them away. That apparently solves everything."

"If anything," Lily said with a strained smile, "you are one of the reasons I'm having to take such strong actions."

"I say this with all due respect Lily" Blair said, and for once meaning it. "But you have no idea what your daughter has been going through. Look, you can think I'm sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong, but if my baby ever ends up in a situation like the one Serena is now, I pray his or her friends will come to me and help me see the situation as it really is."

"And how is it, really?" Lily asked, obviously annoyed.

"Serena has a secret" Blair said, and gave Lily the little speech she had prepared, hoping that appealing to Serena's need for her mother would be effective.

"I saw the video" Lily said. "She doesn't need me, she needs boundaries."

"What you saw isn't the whole story" Blair said. "Serena is not a bad person, you know she's not."

"What is the whole story then?" Lily demanded to know.

Blair took a deep breath and then began to tell Lily as much as she could.

* * *

After speaking to Lily Blair went to find the nearest seat. Her feet were killing her. She sank down in a chair, not caring for a second who was supposed to sit in it, and almost groaned when her phone rang. It was Nate, on his way to Queens, to see Vanessa. Great, now she was nauseous on top of exhausted.

"Apparently Georgina's with her and Dan" Nate told her.

"She's there?" Blair said.

"Yeah, and you know Serena doesn't want us to do anything, but I thought you might want to know."

"Where are you right now?" Blair asked.

Reluctantly she got up from her chair after hanging up. Chuck had told her five minutes ago that Lily planned on leaving with Serena to go visit Pete Fairman, so Blair was free to retire as support system for the moment and go into target-and-destroy instead. She spotted Chuck and walked over to him. She needed a good plan and she needed help coming up with it.

* * *

A couple of hours later she walked into her bedroom and more or less collapsed on her bed. Chuck followed her, closed the door behind him and took a seat on the chair by her dresser. Blair stared at the ceiling and ran her hand through her hair before sighing.

"I can't believe we didn't manage to get our hands into Georgina" she said.

"Obviously you haven't given up," Chuck remarked, "or I wouldn't have been invited back here for a little scheming session. You sure that's all you want to be doing?"

"Of course" Blair said and sat up.

He raised a suggestive eyebrow. They had had sex on three separate occasions since that day after school, but each time had been a spur of the moment thing and none of those times had taken place in her bedroom. If Chuck was hoping to get laid right now then he could think again. Blair needed his blood higher up in his body.

"Chuck" she said. "Focus. We need to get rid of Georgina Sparks. Lily may have been able to solve part of Serena's problem tonight but with Georgina still in the picture she's never going to be completely safe. Especially if Georgina's putting the moves on Mr. Brooklyn."

"What do you care if she tries to get into Dan's cheap pants?" Chuck wondered.

"Serena's got enough pain in her life right now" Blair said. "I still think she would be better off without Dan, but being cheated on, with _Georgina Sparks_, is too much. Come on now Bass, we need to come up with some way to get rid of that girl. She really disturbs me. I don't want her around. She keeps rubbing me the wrong way even though I haven't actually _seen_ her since she's been back."

"Need someone to help rub you the _right_ way?" Chuck asked with a suggestive look.

"Unless you're talking about my neck, cut it out and _focus_."

"Alright" Chuck said. "First step of getting rid of unwanted vermin. Do we have anything on her?"

"Ironically, we don't" Blair said. "I never knew her well, and even though she parties like it's the end of the world she somehow manages to keep her hands clean even in the scandalous stuff. Like this thing with Pete Fairman. She was just as much a part of that as Serena, yet somehow she manages to get out of it unscathed."

"Maybe from that incident in particular, but I don't think she's going to consider herself unscathed when we're through with her" Chuck said.

"Unfortunately, blackmail won't be the key" Blair sighed. "At least not the kind of blackmail we usually resort to."

"Okay, so we can't blackmail her with past sins…" Chuck said. "Any chance we can trick her into committing all new, shiny ones?"

"Doubtfully" Blair said. "She'll be on the lookout. She knows I'm likely to strike down on her for what she's been doing to Serena."

"Does she? You're kind of quite pregnant."

"Pregnancy doesn't hinder me in things like this" Blair said. "If anything the hormones make me all the more lethal."

He smiled.

"If we can't blackmail her or lure her into some form of trap then we need to start thinking outside the box" he said and moved from her chair to sit on the floor "Let's go back and look over previous takedowns. Blackmail may be an effective method but it's far from the only one we've ever employed."

"True" Blair said. "Hm, when Melissa Marks put the moves on Nate in freshman year you helped me spread the rumor that she was working extra at TGI Friday's to afford her wardrobe. Ridiculously untrue, didn't even make sense, but she was shamed and retired from the war over Nate's affections."

"Spreading rumors about Georgina isn't going to work either" Chuck said, leaning back. "For one it's going to take too long. For another, Georgina has a bad enough rep as it is. What could we possibly think up that would be worse than anything she's actually done?"

"Ugh, she must have _some_ weakness" Blair groaned. "And _ow_."

"Ow what?" Chuck asked. "You okay?"

"Baby's kicking."

"That hurts?"

"What do _you_ think?"

"I think…" Chuck said, and then smiled. "I think I know what Georgina's weakness is. Think about it. Who's the one person who can force me into submission?"

"Your dominatrix?" Blair suggested.

"I do and say what I feel like, but even I don't want to disappoint my father. It's got to be the same with Georgie."

Blair smiled.

"You know what, Bass? You might be on to something… Question is, what do we do with that insight?"

* * *

This chapter turned a lot closer to the show than I would have liked, but I couldn't bother working on further rewrites since it would change the plotline a touch too much… I'll try to tone it down further in the next chapter.

As a side-note, I haven't yet seen season four (weeks behind, and will probably be all fall) and I really, really don't want any spoilers. I realized I had forgotten to mention that before, and luckily I haven't gotten any spoilers through reviews yet. It feels impolite to request things from those of you who are nice enough to review, but I would very much appreciate it if I didn't get anything spoiled (including whether or not things are going good or bad for Chair on the show). I feel bad asking people not to say this or that when they review, but hey, at least you're free to trash the stuff I write all you want =)

Above all though, I want to tell all my reviewers that I really, really appreciate that you take the time to give me feedback. Your comments, and ideas, are an incredible inspiration to me!


	12. Chapter 12

Another chapter that borrows from the show, though not as much as the previous... And many of you will be pleased to know there's very little Serena in this chapter ;) I'm really glad you point out things you don't like, since that helps me know what works and what doesn't.

Hope you will like this chapter!

* * *

The sun shone in through the windows, making Blair squint when she woke up. For about one second she wasn't entirely sure where she was or what was going on. Then she realized that she was on her bed, sleeping cute with Chuck, her pregnant belly almost touching his stomach. With a gasp she sat up and smacked him on the arm. He woke up, not too happy about her waking methods, but she didn't care. She got off the bed as nimbly as possible, eager to get as far away from him as she could.

"We were up late plotting against Georgina" Chuck answered her ramblings about how and when and why, annoyed about getting smacked. "We must have dozed off."

"And you were on the floor" Blair pointed out.

"I didn't want to hurt my back."

Then followed some banter with far too many sexual undertones and Blair was eager for it to stop. How did he manage to turn almost anything into something related to sex?

"Enough about the past!"

"If by the past you mean a few-"

"Chuck! Before you landed in my bed we actually landed on a good idea."

Chuck glanced at his watched and leaped out of bed in an agile move which had Blair insanely jealous. He grabbed his jacket off the floor and began to put it on.

"I trust you can take it from here. I have a best man speech to write and no time to write it."

"Don't worry, I can be bitch enough for both of us."

"Nobody knows that better than me, kitten."

Blair made a face and began to push him towards the door. She needed breakfast and a shower, not more sleazy comments.

"You know, they say if you love something you should set it free" Chuck commented.

"They say when you hate something you should slam the door in its face" Blair retorted, finally pushing him out of her room.

"I love it when you talk dirty, Blair" Chuck said as she indeed slammed the door in his face.

Blair walked as briskly as she could into her bathroom and began to draw a bath. She couldn't decide if she was more furious with Chuck for getting up on her bed uninvited, or eager to carry out their scheme to take down Georgina, or disheartened about having to dress up and attend the wedding later on in the day. Normally she loved weddings, but she would rather have kept a low profile at present.

When the tub was full enough she got out of her clothes and let herself sink down into the hot water. She grabbed the bathtub pillow and placed it behind her head, closing her eyes to try and relax but it was difficult. What especially kept bugging her was the Chuck thing. Who the hell did he think he was to get up and _snuggle_ with her on the bed? They needed to have a serious talk about boundaries. He was not her boyfriend and he did not have the right to do something like that just because he pleasured her a couple of times in sub-standard hotel rooms. Unless he was expressively invited to her bed he had no business being in it or on it.

Eventually she realized it was futile to try and relax in the tub. She got up, washed her hair and then wrapped her robe around her. She needed something to focus on. It was time to start preparing for Operation Bimborossa.

She sat down by her dresser and tried to focus entirely on that. The kicking of the baby constantly brought her mind back to Chuck and with a frustrated groan she got up and started to walk around, hoping to lull the baby to sleep. Dorota walked in and gave her a very confused look. Blair sighed.

"Just help me find something to wear and get me some breakfast" she said.

Dorota nodded and walked over to the closet, giving Blair another confused look which Blair ignored. This could turn out to be a very long day. The baby kicked again as if to underline that statement.

"I saw Mister Chuck leave" Dorota commented hesitantly.

"Don't talk to me about Chuck" Blair snarled.

Dorota rolled her eyes but obediently kept quiet. Blair studied her face in the mirror and wished this day could just be over with already.

* * *

Chuck eyed the note cards for the speech he had written and hoped it would be good enough. He was nervous, for more reasons than one. There were a tad too many things going on right now, and in just a few short hours he seemed to have fallen out of the loop of most of them. He had no idea what had happened with Serena since yesterday, no idea how things with Georgina had gone for Blair, and not a clue how to keep the drama with Blair and Nate to a minimum. This was the first event they had been to all three this year and the events the previous morning had proven that things definitely weren't smooth between them. Nate had been borderline hostile.

He looked up just in time to see Blair walk up to him, wearing a cute pink flower dress which was meant to be loosely fitting, therefore drawing less attention to her pregnant belly. She looked good, but she probably wasn't looking to hear that. At least not from him.

"Best man speech going well?" she asked.

"Won't be a dry eye in the house" he answered, putting his cards away. "How did things go with Whoregina?"

"Not a dry eye there either" Blair smiled.

"Good to know I wasn't missed" Chuck lied.

"Dan Humphrey actually lent a hand" Blair revealed. "It was nice to see him get his dirty for once." She reached up and began to adjust his bowtie. It made him smile. "Not sure how much fun he had though" she continued thoughtfully. "No one ever enjoys their first time."

"Except you."

Blair frowned. Why did he always have to do that? And why did he have to smile at her like that? Seriously, the man needed boundaries. Angrily she grabbed a hold of his collar and pulled him closer.

"Now that Georgina's done, so are we" she said. "I won't deny you've been very helpful with some pregnancy related issues, but I think I can take care of it on my own from this point on."

"Oh I think you'll find that with my assistance it's much more rewarding."

"I think I'll find that the further I am from you, the more rewarding _everything_ is" she shot back before releasing her grip on his collar and strutting off.

He turned to watch her go, smirking as he saw her disappearing figure. He knew her. This sudden annoyance was not only because of hormones. This was her typical reaction when she liked something more than she wanted to admit. It could work to his advantage.

He decided to go check on his father and went inside. Bart was alone in a large room, putting on his cufflinks, and looked up when Chuck entered the room. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood and smiled at his son.

"Everything going good outside?" he asked.

"Everything seems to be going great" Chuck said. "How are you doing?"

"Good" Bart said.

"You should be" Chuck commented. "Getting married in less than an hour…"

"It's a year with a lot of family focus for us" Bart said, turning to face his son. "Me and Lily… You and Blair."

Chuck laughed a little.

"There is no 'me and Blair'" he said, hoping his father wouldn't be able to pick up on the fact that he wanted there to be.

"How are the two of you getting along now?" Bart asked.

"It… goes up and down."

"School will be out for the summer in a few days" Bart remarked. "Summer is about to start. When it ends, you will experience something even grander than a wedding."

"Geez, Dad, can we please not have _that_ talk?" Chuck said, feeling uncomfortable.

"Fine enough" Bart said. "There will be plenty of time to focus on that during the summer. I just hope you're ready for it."

"I'm attending all those parenting classes like a good boy, aren't I?" Chuck said with a crooked smile and fidgeted where he stood. "Dad, forget about Blair and the baby for today. Focus on your bride."

"I can tell there's going to be non-stop drama with both you and Serena in the same family" Bart noted with a smile, adjusting his tie in the mirror. "First she stays away all night and then has some emergency Lily needs to tend to during the rehearsal dinner. Then _you_ disappear from said dinner and don't return until the next day."

"All in the spirit of brotherhood, I assure you" Chuck semi-lied.

"Are you and Serena getting along now?"

"Dad, you don't have to worry about that" Chuck said. "Like I've tried to tell you before, Serena and I have been friends since kindergarten and we've kind of already got that brother-sister arguing thing down. We fight over stuff then we make up. It's no big deal."

"So long as there are no further pranks involving champagne and sex toys" Bart said, giving him a meaningful glare in the mirror.

"I told you those weren't from me. Ask Serena now and she'll confirm it."

"I trust there will be no arguments between the two of you today" Bart said.

"The vote of confidence means a lot" Chuck said dryly. "Dad, neither Serena nor I would want to disrupt your wedding. And again, we're not fighting. I was gone last night because I was _helping_ Serena. If you don't believe me you can ask Blair."

"Blair?"

"Yeah, I was with her, trying to find a way to help Serena out with part of her latest damsel in distress problem."

"Huh…" Bart noted.

"What?"

"Nothing. It just makes me glad to know the two of you are spending time together outside of what her parents and I are insisting on."

"I've been friends with Blair for as long as I've been friends with Serena" Chuck pointed out. "We haven't stopped being friends over this."

"Have you given any thought to being more than friends?"

"I don't want to have _that_ conversation either."

"Blair would be a good match for you" Bart said and turned to look directly at his son instead of looking at him through the mirror. "She's from a good family, she knows you pretty well and she's got enough will and strength to not let you run around like a madman and do whatever you want."

"Don't tell me you think I should go for someone who would _control_ me" Chuck snorted, hoping to bring the topic over to anything other than himself and Blair. Though a small part of him was excited to hear that Bart saw him and Blair as couple material.

"Not control you. But be _able_ to when needed."

"Sounds romantic."

"We both know you need someone with willpower and a mind of her own" Bart said. "Even without the baby she's carrying I must say I would definitely be able to see her as the girl who would get you to settle down."

"Dad, I think you've inhaled something that's not good for you" Chuck said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I know this is your wedding, but let's be realistic. I'm Chuck Bass. Even with a baby I'm not settling down."

"Having a baby is exactly the reason why you need to drop that Chuck Bass persona you've been priding yourself on for far too long" Bart replied. "I think you'll find that when you have a child there's little room for partying and sleeping around."

"You set a good example for that, didn't you?" Chuck retorted icily.

"If you have feelings for Blair," Bart said, "then perhaps you should find out if the feelings are requited? She is good for you. And perhaps having a serious girlfriend would help you learn about responsibility and taking someone else's feelings and desires into account. I think it would be good for you. Pretty soon you will have a little child on your hands, and then you'll _really_ find out what it means to be considerate of others."

Chuck eyed his father coldly. He couldn't have let this lecture pass? Was it really so necessary to do this _now_? Having to change his entire lifestyle was one of Chuck's major concerns regarding the baby and the idea of a closer relationship to Blair also having the same requirements attached made him hesitant to say the least.

And wasn't it a bit rich for Bart Bass of all people to be giving lectures on how the bachelor lifestyle had to be cast aside when you had children? If it hadn't been his father's wedding day Chuck would have pointed out who it was he had learned his lifestyle from to begin with. As it was now he kept silent, growling inwardly.

"I'm going to go see if things are ready outside" he said and reached for the doorknob.

"If you can find your soon-to-be stepsister, would you have her check in on Lily?" Bart asked. "No matter how many times a woman walks down the aisle there's always a lot of fuss this particular day."

Chuck left without saying anything further. He needed time to cool off or he wouldn't be able to be happy and supportive during the ceremony, and in spite of his current anger with Bart he didn't want to do anything to ruin his father's wedding.

* * *

The wedding went by without a hitch. So did Chuck's best man speech, for which he was thankful. Once the speech had been given he sat down and grabbed his champagne flute, absentmindedly wondering why Serena still looked like she was a poor little lost soul. All of her problems had been solved. Chuck's were still very much ongoing. Nate was there, but hadn't even responded to Chuck's polite greeting. Blair's presence was enough to remind him why he was mad at his best friend, and Chuck still had no clue what to do to fix what he had broken.

He glanced over at Blair, who was studying Serena with a frown. His eyes trailed down her form to where he knew a baby bump was hidden. When she sat down wearing that dress the bump was pretty much concealed. No one would spot it if they didn't know to look for it. He had expected her to seem relaxed over passing for any other teenager for a moment.

Her eyes left Serena and met his. She smiled at him and he returned the smile. His father got up to dance with Lily and while still keeping his eyes locked with hers he got up from the table and placed himself by a pillar, as if to get a better look at the dancing bride and groom. Blair rose and left her table and disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. He shrugged and passed the time by looking at his father and new stepmother. They did look good together. Somewhere deep down Chuck had to admit that he kind of liked this new arrangement. Lily had always been kind to him, and seemed intent on giving him the benefit of the doubt. How many adults had he been able to say that about?

He didn't even mind getting two new stepsiblings. He was genuinely fond of Eric and enjoyed having a brother-type relationship with him. Partially to fill the void Nate had left, but it was more than that. He enjoyed knowing that the younger boy looked up to him, and trusted him. Like his mother, Eric had never judged Chuck. The two of them could hang out and have fun together, but while Chuck enjoyed taking Eric under his wing he also felt protective of him and didn't want him to turn out quite like Chuck himself. Eric had the potential of being someone so much better than that.

Serena was a different story. She most certainly didn't look up to Chuck. They knew each other too well and had been around one another too much growing up. But Chuck enjoyed having a stepsister he had some history with. If Bart had married a woman with children he didn't even know then he would have had to get to know them from scratch and he would probably have hated them by default. Now at least it was a friend, or something resembling a friend, who moved in to their penthouse. The fact that him and Serena had mostly been bickering since she returned from boarding school all reformed or whatever was something he enjoyed. He had always missed having a sibling growing up and he was well aware that this was probably the closest he would ever get.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he spotted Blair approaching. He gave her a dry smile. She seemed in a good mood.

"I saw a couple of people who weren't crying during your speech" she said teasingly. "Looks like your prediction turned out to be false."

"It shall be my greatest shame and dishonor" he said. "If I die before you do, kindly make sure that it is _not_ brought up in my obituary."

"Do you always bring up death at weddings?" she asked.

He smirked.

"Did you get to dance yet, Waldorf?" he asked.

"It's the first dance of the evening, stupid."

He grabbed her hands and gently nudged her backwards, leading her into a dance. She seemed reluctant at first but then smiled slightly as he put a hand on her back and pressed her close enough for their stomachs to touch.

"Then you and the kid can dance the first dance with me" he said.

"Lucky us" she smiled.

He looked over her shoulder and his eyes met his father's. Bart smiled contently at his choice of dance partner. Chuck smiled back, happy to feel Blair's body pressed so closely to his. Her earlier irritation seemed to be gone. She had to be aware of how well they fitted in each other's arms, even with the bump in-between them.

His smile grew wider when he felt Blair's hand begin to slowly caress his neck.

* * *

And thus we have wrapped up season one lol. Let me know what you thought!


	13. Chapter 13

As always I'm grateful to you kind people who review =) A lot of reviewers were happy with the Bart/Chuck scene, and I can tell you that Bart will feature more in upcoming chapters than he has thus far.

I don't know if spoiler warnings are warranted for works that came out in the thirties, but better safe than sorry, so beware that this chapter includes spoilers for "_Gone with the Wind_". If you haven't read it, or seen it, shame on you. Go check it out at once! And then read this chapter ;)

One reviewer asked me about "_Redux_", and all I can tell you about that story right now is that I'm working on it… I started writing the next chapter and got royally stuck. And right now I have other projects I'm more interested in, since I seem to have a knack for starting up new stuff before finishing the previous stories. The answer is in short that I haven't abandoned it, but don't expect any updates soon.

I'm actually trying my hand at a crossover story with another show, though I'm thinking I should finish it before I start to publish it so that I don't have half a dozen ongoing stories up at the same time. So who knows if it will even be posted? Might just end up being me wasting my time on it instead of working on the ongoing stories. I've never done a crossover before, though I have toyed with the idea of doing one with "_How I Met Your Mother_" since a) it's the only other show I've written for, and b) Chuck Bass is basically a younger, broodier, darker (both in mind and hair) version of Barney Stinson (come on, both wear suits at all times, are ridiculously rich and have once sold a woman) and it seems like one should be able to do something with that. I still haven't been able to come up with an actual plot that would work for such a crossover though, hardly surprising considering they're completely different genres.

Yeesh, now I'm rambling. You're not here to find out about stuff I might never even post, you're here for the next chapter of _this_ story (which will not be going on hiatus anytime soon I hope, since I've got partly written chapters that go past the baby's birth). While you go ahead and read the chapter, I'm going to go write a memo to myself not to eat too much sugar before writing author's notes.

I'm shutting up now!

* * *

Blair stared at the ceiling, wide awake. It was late afternoon, and she had been laying like this for about twenty minutes, in a bed of a hotel which by her preferences was definitely sub-standard. Chuck was asleep next to her, with a leg wrapped over hers and an arm draped across her chest. He had nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck and she could feel every slow breath he took. It tickled a little.

Careful not to wake him she moved over on her side, facing away from him. He mumbled something in his sleep but didn't wake. His face fell down on the pillow but the arm and leg remained in place. Unconsciously he moved closer to her, spooning her. The feeling of his nakedness against her like this somehow felt more intimate than the sex they had just had. It was their fifth sexual encounter in two weeks.

She stretched her arm out, but then quickly pulled it back. That part of the bed was soaking wet. Chuck had knocked over a glass of water mid-sex. Aside from that incident, and a few instances of her hair getting pulled, it had been close to what Chuck called 'fiction sex', the type of sex people had in books and in movies, where there was none of the mess, none of the unromantic noises, none of the positioning problems, just two people in pretty sync.

He had been tender with her. Almost _too_ tender. When she thought about it she realized it had been like that every time they'd met up for sex since she got pregnant. Some of their meetings had ended with her getting out of bed right away, but others, like today, had ended with them both just fighting to catch their breath. And like the other times this had happened, Chuck had rolled over close, put an arm around her and drifted off to sleep. It was all just a little too comfy and affectionate.

When she thought about it she realized that it had always been she who suggested these encounters, which in and of itself wasn't an oddity. It had been established from the start that it was on her terms, when she felt up for it. Chuck probably felt up for it all around the clock, which made it more natural to let her be the one to bring it up. But she recalled that on two occasions he had hesitated, and on one he had made a call to his father, cancelling something or other. She hadn't gotten the feeling that he wasn't really up for it and only went along with it to please her. It had seemed more like he really wanted to be with her and felt troubled when he had something else planned.

She was beginning to worry about his feelings for her. It felt like a lifetime ago that he had admitted that the thought of her gave him butterflies. And after that he had forcefully shoved her away at one point. Now they were having sex again, albeit for reasons completely different than why they had started sleeping together in the first place. But the first time they had had sex it had resulted in Chuck getting a crush on her. Maybe getting into bed with him again at this point had been a horrible idea. She was worried that he was starting to feel too strongly about her again.

If he did she wasn't sure what she would do or say. He might easily think that because of the baby it would be the most natural thing in the world for them to date. If the baby was his. She definitely didn't want to find herself on the receiving end of loving feelings courtesy of Chuck Bass. She would have to turn him down, and that would create problems she didn't have the energy to deal with. She could only hope he wouldn't rock the boat.

Even though she was back in bed with him her heart still longed for Nate. Her perfect Prince Charming, the one she had always dreamed of ending up with. She was probably a horrible person for dreaming about him still when she was pregnant with what was probably someone else's baby, and that someone else was laying next to her in post-coital slumber.

She knew she had begun to warm up to the idea of herself with Chuck in the fall, when they were having their tryst. He was sexy and he was fun and he understood her. Being around him made her feel good and there was a freedom in his company, the ability for her to be completely honest about who she was and not feel ashamed about anything she was thinking. In her head she knew that Chuck might actually be a good idea, but her heart still cried out for Nate, and the heart had the stronger voice.

Lately she had been rediscovering "_Gone with the Wind_", first by reading the book and then by watching the DVD. Suddenly she could understand Scarlett much better than she ever had before. Rhett was a good match for Scarlett, he saw her for who she was and he appreciated her as a woman. He was her best friend and confidant, the one person she never had to hide herself from. Still she couldn't let go of the thought of Ashley, couldn't stop yearning for him. Blair felt caught in a similar situation. Chuck was her Rhett in a way, the person who saw her clearest and who enjoyed her both sexually and otherwise. Nate meanwhile was like her own private Ashley, the man who had for so long refused her sexually and who now refused her in every other way as well, yet she couldn't stop thinking about him. Probably because while Chuck saw her as she really was, Nate saw her, or had seen her, the way she _wanted_ to be.

And now here she was, wondering if Scarlett had felt this way when she was pregnant by Rhett yet still longed for Ashley. She knew far too well how the story ended for those three characters.

Scarlett never got to be with Ashley. Just like Blair would never get to be with Nate again. She really didn't want to spend years of her life pining and chasing after a guy who would never be hers. She wanted to move on, wished she could look at Nate and not want him to kiss her with those lips or smile at her with those eyes or hold her in those arms. Why did he have to be so damn perfect? Chuck, Serena and even Dorota could say what they wanted, Nate was still perfect in her eyes.

Towards the end of the book Scarlett realized her heart truly lay with Rhett. At that point it was too late. His love for her had ended and she wound up with no one. Men like Rhett did not wait around forever, and Chuck was probably not the type to do so either. If he did have feelings for her his interest in having a relationship with her probably had an expiration date. Even if the feelings were forever he would probably cherish his dignity too much to just wait around like some doormat in case she one day felt the same way back.

But what did she really feel for Chuck now? There was some small part of her that wasn't sure. It wasn't love, or probably wasn't love, but she had definitely seen him in a new light these past months. Since that night in the limo, really. And she did feel a strong affection for him. His charm brightened her spirits and she often found herself longing for his company. The way he actually showed concern for her throughout the pregnancy warmed her heart.

She just knew that she couldn't fall in love with him. Not now. It was far too dangerous and he was far too fickle. Even worse than Nate had been. Chuck was the boy who had told her he liked her, bought her an expensive necklace and been there for her, been her sex partner for a while and then showed a lot of jealousy when she got back together with Nate. Then he had suddenly turned on a dime and decided she wasn't worthy of his time anymore. She had a sneaking suspicion that anyone who gave their heart to Chuck Bass was in for a world of hurt. He wasn't ready to be a real boyfriend, to take that step. He would go back and forth even worse than Nate had done, leaving her emotionally battered in the process. Without proof that he felt anything genuine for her she could never risk falling in love with him. Especially not when there was a baby involved.

And, in a catch 22, so long as she didn't love him she most certainly didn't want him to profess any feelings for her. That would make things far too awkward.

So the only conclusion Blair could logically draw was that it would be for the best if neither she nor Chuck ever developed strong feelings for the other. She had always pictured love would be an important part the day she got ready to welcome a baby, now she was sure that so long as love stayed out of the picture everything might work out nicely.

As friends she and Chuck could probably do quite well parenting together. They had always worked well as friends, always able to compromise and always understanding each other. Oddly enough they would make the best team if they weren't in love.

She heard Chuck mumble something in his sleep and decided that from this point on they needed to draw a clearer line. There could be no confusion. She wished she was strong enough to not need the sex, but it felt so good and she really craved it. But sex was all they would have together. It would be about nothing more.

In his sleep Chuck's hand slid down from her chest and came to rest on her belly. She felt his hot breath at the back of her neck. A smile spread across her face and for just a second she allowed the idea of what it would be like to have Chuck by her side permanently run through her mind. And for that brief second she felt like that was something she really wanted.

Then she pushed his hand away from her. That idea was far too dangerous.

* * *

I've been a little off my game these past couple of days so I'm not sure if I got across what I was attempting to get across… It's bad when you feel the need to clarify stuff in the end note lol, but Blair _does_ have feelings for Chuck. She just doesn't _want_ to have them right now. And you know what they say about a certain river in Egypt…

Part of the idea behind this chapter was to delve into the unresolved issues between Blair and Nate. I always wondered why the show kind of just dropped them for a full season and gave us little insight to what especially Blair felt during the second half of season one. Obviously on the show she had openly fallen for Chuck at the time of the finale, but I blame the hormones for making her cling to Nate here ;)

But I think I've done enough rambling for one day… Reviews are love =)


	14. Chapter 14

I apologize in advance, because this chapter feels all over the place to me. It's an in-betweener that I wrote while having a headache, but I thought some of the things brought up in this chapter should be addressed even though they don't involve Chuck or Blair. I promise the next chapter will be more entertaining.

Glad to find fellow GwtW fans among my readers! It's just a personal opinion, but I don't think all of the GG/GwtW parallels are a coincidence… ;) Dorota is totally Mammy. And, I'm glad to hear people understood what I was trying to say last chapter, regarding Blair's feelings for Chuck and Nate!

Okay, on to the chapter.

* * *

"Blair…"

Serena's voice woke her up. It was mid-afternoon, two days after the wedding. Blair raised herself up on her left arm and squinted at Serena who stood in the doorway.

"S?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Blair can I talk to you?" Serena asked, her voice trembling.

"Sure" Blair said, hiding a yawn behind her hand. "Sorry, I'm just a little tired. But we can talk."

Serena looked absolutely desolate as she walked inside and sat down on the divan in the corner. Blair frowned and sat up. Serena had been sporting this look the days before the wedding, but that was because of Georgina Sparks. Now that problem had been taken care of, so why the long face?

"S? Has something happened?"

"Dan and I broke up."

Blair looked down and nodded slightly. She had actually thought Dan would cling to Serena and make sure to keep her but at the same time she wasn't all that surprised. There had been a lot of problems in that relationship recently.

"When?" she asked.

"At the wedding."

"Wow. Most people get all romantic and sappy when they're at a wedding. I guess it takes a Brooklyn boy to throw his relationship away at one."

"Blair."

"Sorry."

"It wasn't Dan's decision, it was the both of us together."

"Well you made the right one."

"No B, I…" Serena sighed, then hid her face in her hands and began to cry. "I don't need your judging him right now, okay? I need you to be my friend."

"S I'm sorry" Blair said gently. "I mean it though. You made the right decision and that is a good thing. And you know I'm right. If you didn't agree you wouldn't have decided to end the relationship to begin with."

"Then why do I feel like absolute hell?"

"Because something you cared about is over" Blair said. "Trust me S, I know that feeling. I lost Nate, remember?"

"It's not the same."

"You're right. I didn't get a say. You at least got to make the decision."

"It just doesn't make sense that two people who love each other can't work things out" Serena complained. "Shouldn't love be all we need?"

"John Lennon used to think so, until he found out the hard way that you also need a non-ruptured aorta."

Serena groaned. Blair studied her silently, trying to find the right thing to say. In her mind this was the best thing that had ever happened to Serena. But she knew far too well from own experience how painful it was to lose a relationship you cared about, and couldn't bring herself to not acknowledge that losing Dan Humphrey really hurt her best friend.

"What did you guys say, S?" she asked. "You must have talked at length before actually ending it."

"Well, we…" She paused and remembered the detail she hadn't wanted to think about. "Actually Blair, it was Dan who broke up with me. I told him I was willing to forgive him for sleeping with Georgina-"

"He slept with _Georgina_?" Blair exclaimed.

"No, I mean sort of, I mean…"

"Oh God" Blair said, looking nauseous. "Serena why would you forgive him for something like that?"

"You forgave Nate…" Serena said, twirling her hands in her lap. "In a way what he did was a lot worse. True Georgina is Georgina and she has done a lot of horrible things to me, but at least it wasn't with my best friend."

"It's still different. Nate and I go back to kindergarten. You and Dan only have a few months of history."

"Isn't betrayal of that much history worse than kind of sleeping with someone else when we're broken up?"

"Except you _weren't_ broken up."

"Dan told me he was done earlier that morning, remember?"

"Okay, forget about all of that for a second…" Blair said, holding up her hands. "I don't get why _Dan_ breaks up with _you_ if he sunk to Guinness Book of Records levels of low by banging Georgina Sparks and you forgave him."

"He says he can't accept the secrecy and-"

"He can't accept _you_" Blair said. "That has been the problem from the start. Dan is horribly insecure because he knows he's at the bottom of the social value food chain and you are at the top, so he convinces himself that you are not _better_, you are _morally evil_, which makes him a good person ergo better than you."

"B I lied to his face about Georgina."

"For a good reason! If Dan hadn't held a black belt in being judgmental then maybe you might have been able to open up to him."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore" Serena said. "I'm going to the Hamptons with Mom and Eric once Mom gets back and hopefully with some distance I will feel a bit better."

"Sounds like running away to me."

"No I'm not running B, I just… It's over. If I can't be Dan's girlfriend anymore then I don't think I can be around him. At least not right now. Besides, I've spent half my summers in the Hamptons. It's not running away, it's… keeping tradition."

"If you say so" Blair shrugged.

"Everything has been so horrible these past few days, I think some sun and a nice, sandy beach would do me a world of good."

"I hope so. You deserve some happiness after a year with Dan."

"Blair please, the wound is really fresh, try not to jab your verbal sword into it."

"Why didn't you tell me all of this at the wedding if that's when you broke up?" Blair wondered.

"I… guess it's the same as with you and Nate" Serena said. "I didn't want to tell you at first because telling you would make it real. Besides I couldn't find you at first and then I saw you dancing with Chuck and I didn't want to interrupt. What happened to you after that? I didn't see you again all evening."

Blair looked away and hoped she wasn't blushing. She had gone with Chuck to his suite and had spent the night having sex. Definitely something Serena didn't need to know about. Chuck was her dirty little secret once again.

"I went to lie down" she settled for.

"Aw B" Serena said. "I hope Chuck helped you get to a room with a nice comfy bed. It's the least he can do."

"He did" Blair said evasively.

"Honestly, you're dealing with weight gain, nausea and all kinds of other discomforts while he just glides through life without a care in the world" Serena went on, apparently taking some of her hurt out on her absent stepbrother. "He should help you out with whatever discomforts you may have."

"He actually does" Blair said, avoiding Serena's eyes.

"Good. I hope he got you everything you needed before you went to sleep. Seeing his smug smirk at the breakfast table every morning makes me seriously annoyed that you are going through all this stuff and he doesn't get any of it."

"He's not that awful a stepbrother, is he?" Blair asked with the hint of a smile.

"I just can't believe I'm _related_ to Chuck Bass" Serena sighed.

"At least you're only related through your mother's marriage" Blair pointed out. "Yours truly might have her first child sullied by his DNA. If I were you S I would consider myself blessed that your first child won't be sullied by Dan's."

With a sigh Serena threw herself down on the bed next to Blair. She felt completely miserable but at least she wasn't as bad off as Blair. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it tight, wondering how everything had gotten so screwed up.

"At least Georgie is no longer in town" she sighed.

"And we all rejoiced" Blair said.

She leaned back so that she was lying next to Serena. They both stared up at the ceiling and sighed.

"I'm going to miss you if you go to the Hamptons" Blair said.

"Won't you be going to France to see your father?"

"Trust me, I really wanted to. I miss Daddy. Unfortunately your new stepfather has banned me from all intercontinental travel now that I'm in my third trimester. It almost makes me want to sneak away to France anyway and have the baby there just to spite him."

"B that would be awesome" Serena giggled.

"He is sort of right though" Blair sighed. "I have doctor's appointments I shouldn't miss."

"Less than three months to go…" Serena mused. "I can't really fathom it."

"Neither can I."

"And neither can Chuck and Nate. Three months from now you'll at least find out for sure who the father is."

"True" Blair nodded.

Serena kept on talking but Blair wasn't listening anymore. Her mind had drifted off to the two possible fathers, wondering what they were currently up to. She knew Nate was involved with some new drama with the Captain. Chuck was probably busy smoking pot, or something else highly unsuited for a parent. Her mind lingered on him for a second but then she angrily made herself stop thinking of him and go back to thinking about Nate.

* * *

Chuck cast a quick look through the window to make sure Nate was there. He had little intention of stepping inside a shabby pizza parlor if the person he was looking for wasn't even there. But in agreement with his intel, there Nate was, looking morose over a half-eaten pizza.

Chuck stepped inside and walked over, wondering to himself why anyone chose to eat at a place like this. It looked dirty and smelled greasy. Normally Chuck wouldn't be caught dead in such a parlor and it amazed him that his best friend had sunk to such a low in the few months that had passed since Blair's pregnancy was revealed.

"Nate" he said when he reached the table.

Nate looked up, quite startled to see Chuck there. He quickly regained his composure and the surprised look turned into a highly sullen one.

"What do you want?" he snarled. "Unless something happened with Blair and the baby then leave."

"I spotted you across the room and thought we could talk."

Nate snorted.

"Since when do you hang out in pizza parlors in this part of town? You followed me here or had someone report where I was."

Ignoring Nate's hostile look and tone Chuck pulled out a chair and sat down opposite him.

"Hey, I said leave, not sit."

"I heard your father left" Chuck said matter-of-factly.

"I heard it was none of your business."

"Come on Nate…" Chuck said. "This is your dad we're talking about. You've confided in me about the problems with him a hundred times. Let me help."

"Yeah, like I let you help with Blair" Nate said. "Except wait, that ended with you having gotten her pregnant behind my back."

"You're afraid I'm going to get the Captain pregnant too?" Chuck asked dryly.

"I'm afraid you're going to ruin everything in my life. You've been quite hell-bent on it so far" Nate whined.

"You keep acting like I slept with Blair out of spite" Chuck said. "It wasn't like that. And I never had sex with her while the two of you were together."

"Oh pardon me, I forgot, you waited for all of fifty minutes before defiling her."

Chuck sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Look man, I never intended to hurt you. If Blair wasn't pregnant we would have forgotten about this by now."

Nate snorted. Of course Chuck would take that stance. Blair didn't matter at all to him, she had just been another notch on his bedpost, and if it wasn't for the possibility of Chuck being Blair's baby's father Chuck would have moved on completely from the whole thing. Never mind the fact that he had taken Blair's virginity, which had been something very special to Blair. Chuck's whole attitude rubbed Nate the wrong way.

"Too bad you can't forget" he said. "Unless of course the baby is mine, in which case I assume you will have forgotten you ever even knew Blair before the first diaper change."

Chuck made a face at the thought of the baby being Nate's and almost responded with a poisonous remark about how Nate sure hadn't been there by Blair's side through this pregnancy, but managed to hold his tongue. He wasn't there to argue about Blair.

"Forget about Blair for a second" he said.

"Unlike you Chuck I prefer to not denounce my former sex partners' existence."

"You know what I mean" Chuck groaned. "Let's not _talk_ about Blair right now. Let's talk about the Captain instead."

"What about him?"

"Why don't you tell me? Rumor has it he's fled the country."

"If he has then that is my problem" Nate said. "Stay out of it."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Chuck asked. "Financially? Maybe send one of my PIs to find out where he is?"

"I don't need your pocket money to support my mother and me and I don't need your sleuths to tell me where my father is" Nate spat out.

"Come on man, you and I have been best friends forever" Chuck said. "This stuff with your dad, it's serious business. Why not put the squabbling aside? I want to help if there's any way I can."

"Serious business" Nate echoed. "Unlike my ex-girlfriend giving birth to a child in August. Unlike one of us being a father."

"That's not-"

"I'd rather handle anything that happens with my father _alone_, thank you very much" Nate interrupted him, rising from his chair. "Or getting help from some of my _real_ friends."

Chuck grabbed his arm as he tried to pass by.

"I _am_ your friend" he objected. "Nate what possible egotistic reason would I have for offering my help?"

"You always have an egotistical reason."

"Friendship going back to childhood and you can't forgive the one mistake I've made during that time?"

"You've made more mistakes than anyone I know combined" Nate argued. "This time however you betrayed _me_. Forgive me if I'm not too willing to forgive that. You don't even get the seriousness of Blair's situation."

"And you do?" Chuck had to ask. "You don't even know half of what I've done for her these past months. Meanwhile I don't recall running into you all that often at parenting class."

"No your father made sure of that."

"So Bart Bass is the one who decides who should show responsibility or not, and if he says the kid is mine that means you no longer have any obligations? It's _likely_ mine, not _definitely_. Nate let me help you. Regardless of who is the father of Blair's child, we were talking about _your_ father."

"We're done talking about that. Leave me alone Chuck."

Nate tanked his arm free and stormed off. Chuck watched him go and slumped dejectedly in his chair. He had hoped Nate would set aside his anger, which Chuck at times found irrational, and realize that one mistake didn't mean Chuck could no longer be his friend. Obviously that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Nate was dead set on hating Chuck's guts.

Outside Nate walked briskly towards the subway, full of anger. His anger towards Chuck wasn't merely caused by the knowledge that his best friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. A lot of it stemmed from Nate thinking Chuck was too arrogant and careless regarding the whole situation. It didn't seem like Chuck realized the seriousness of the situation and that Blair was just something to have fun with and the baby would be her problem. If it was one thing that angered Nate right now it was fathers running away from their children. He didn't realize he might possibly be one of those himself.

* * *

I will try my best to update again soon, with something more interesting, less Serena and Nate =) I hope this was still somewhat entertaining though. Review and let me know!


	15. Chapter 15

As usual I want to thank my reviewers =) I'm glad the previous chapter didn't seem too all over the place (and that it didn't get too boring with that much Serena and Nate). With this chapter we're back on CB focus! I had a lot more fun writing this chapter than the previous one, which is probably why I ended up finishing it so soon after the previous. Hope you will enjoy it too!

* * *

Serena looked up from her book.

"You should name your baby Bella, if it's a girl."

Blair looked up. They were on her bed, celebrating the end of the school year by doing nothing even remotely festive. Serena was too down in the dumps over Dan and Blair was too weary from being over six months pregnant. They had parked themselves on Blair's bed, each with a novel in hand, and were settling for just hanging out before Serena left for the Hamptons.

"Bella?"

"Yeah. Or Isabella. Bella can be for short."

"Nope, not Isabella."

"What? Why not?"

"Because Isabel Farkas is an ex-minion of mine" Blair reminded her. "Minion names are out. No matter how cute they may be."

"Edward's pretty for a boy" Serena said, sitting up on the bed.

"Too old-fashioned and stuffy" Blair said, picking up her book again. "Besides, nobody would call him Edward. He'd be Eddie after about five minutes, and no guy who's ruled a high school has ever been named _Eddie_."

"I like Jacob…"

"No" Blair said, putting her book aside again. "Where are you getting these, S? '_The Big Book of Twilight Characters_'?"

"No… Just the big book '_Twilight_'" Serena said, motioning to the book she had been reading. "Jacob's still cute though."

"Jacob Bass doesn't exactly roll off the tongue."

"Have you guys had the name discussion?"

"Given name or surname? Bart is adamant the baby gets Chuck's name if Chuck turns out to be the father, since it's going to be the super important heir of the super important Bass empire or whatever. Mom and Dad are equally resolute that since Chuck and I aren't married the baby should have my last name. Little do they know Chuck and I have already made an agreement. If it's a girl we'll call her Waldorf and if it's a boy we'll call him Bass. And if it's Nate's we'll… call him and see what he thinks."

"Really?"

"It seemed like the most fair arrangement. It was either that or baby born on an odd day, Bass, baby born on an even day, Waldorf. Of course that is complicated by the fact that there thirty-one days in August and that means that since the baby is due in late August and might actually arrive in September it gives odd dates a slight advantage."

"You and Chuck have too much time on your hands if you discuss stuff like that" Serena concluded, shifting on the bed so that she was lying next to Blair. She placed a hand on Blair's swelling belly. "I take it that means Benjamin is out. Benny Bass doesn't have the coolest ring to it."

Blair laughed.

"It certainly does not. Pity though, I like Benjamin."

"Any thoughts for a girl?"

"I suggested Audrey or Holly and Chuck suggested I get a life. Although you should have heard some of his ideas. I'm fairly sure he was joking, but he did suggest Polly Esther for a girl, thinking it would be a suitable name for my mother's grandchild."

"So you guys have talked about it?"

"Yeah. In the end though we decided to wait until we've met this person to see what name fits. And honestly, if Chuck and I picked a name and I began to think of the baby with that name, and then Nate turns out to be the father… I wouldn't be able to use the name I decided on with Chuck but it would feel so wrong to change it. It's just safer to wait until we know more…" She looked thoughtful for a second. "Would it be weird naming a baby Yale? It has the benefit of being unisex."

"Way to suck up to the dean of admissions" Serena laughed.

"Too bad Chuck probably wouldn't go for it. And if Bart decides to voice an opinion I'm sure we'll end up with an entire encyclopedia of stuffy boys' names. No doubt he wants something royal for his grandson. Regular won't cut it, stuffy is the order of the day."

"Like Charles?" Serena asked.

"Charles _is_ stuffy. And so is Bartholomew."

"And Blair isn't? Maybe a stuffy name doesn't have to be all bad?"

"That would depend on the name, wouldn't it?"

"Alasdair" Serena suggested in a pompous voice. "Bainbridge."

"Mycroft" Blair added with a giggle.

"Winston!" Serena continued. "Or Abraham."

"Winston Bass is actually a bit cute" Blair said.

"Until everyone starts calling him Winnie."

"That's a 'no' on Winston" Blair decided.

"Prescott?" Serena suggested. "Preston?"

"How about Beauregard?"

"Okay, but seriously, what kind of names have you considered?" Serena wanted to know. Discussing names for their future children was something she and Blair had been doing since the fifth grade. Now that they had actual good reason Serena thought it was a lot of fun.

"I'm not sure" Blair said, reaching for the glass of water that sat on her nightstand. "I've toyed with a few ideas, but it's really difficult to find something that fits when you haven't met the baby. Besides, we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet."

"I still say that not finding out the sex of the baby is a horrible move" Serena said. "You have no way of knowing what colors to go with."

"Colors for what? You know I'm not decorating a nursery until the baby has been born. Which is again related to getting to know the baby first. Once the baby is born there will be time to find the perfect colors and furniture, and the perfect name."

"Robert…" Serena suggested with a dreamy sigh, glancing over at her book.

Blair snorted and began to sing.

"_Hey there people, I'm Bobby Bass…_"

Serena laughed.

"B you know there's a great risk your kid will end up like that no matter what you name him, right? That's what happens when you mix DNA with Chuck."

"Don't say that. That just breaks Mommy's heart."

"What do you think of Ariel?"

"Please" Blair snorted. "And if I later have more girls they can be named Belle, Jasmine and Aurora?"

"Oh!" Serena exclaimed. "If the baby's a girl you should name her Summer! Since she will be born in the summer."

"How original" Blair said, wrinkling her nose. "Going back to the boys' names, I'm kind of partial to Frederick."

"Or if the baby's born in September, which can constitute as the fall, you can name her Autumn" Serena continued.

"What is it with you and seasons?" Blair asked. "If you ever have a boy born in January will you be calling him Winter?"

"Okay, no more seasonal names. How about Charisma?"

"_No_" Blair said. "No nouns that aren't commonly used as names. I don't want my kid to have the most common name in New York, but I'm not going to name a child Pilot Inspektor either. Have some common sense."

"But come on, special names can be so pretty."

"The word '_special_' can be used negatively, you know" Blair said. Then she smiled. "I like Dashiell. It sounds dashing. And I like Ida for a girl."

"Crystal?" Serena suggested. "It's gorgeous, it's special but it's a touch more mainstream than Charisma."

Blair nodded.

"Crystal would be really cute, if it's Nate's baby, which it most likely isn't."

"Why only if it's Nate's?"

"A child of Nate's would look like a person named Crystal" Blair explained. "A child of Chuck's wouldn't. More like Aluminum, or something like that. Or Charcoal."

"B, you're being too harsh."

"I'm not. Crystal is someone fair and beautiful, ethereal even. Chuck's got that dark hair and that bone structure. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm saying that's not Crystal."

"Then call her Ayla" Serena said. "Works if she's Nate's, 'cause she'll be fair and beautiful. Works if she's Chuck's, since she might get his unnaturally strong sex drive."

"Seriously S. If you're going to suggest a literary name then at least go for something with a little touch of dignity and class. Like Éowyn or Cosette. Not that I would ever name my baby that, but it's offensive to get suggestions that are based on white trash literature."

Serena shrugged, thinking Blair was just a bore for not wanting a special sounding name for her child. She moved back down to the other end of the bed and opened her book again.

"Bridget is nice" she said.

Blair sat up.

"Bridget… Oh my God, I _love_ that! Bridget Waldorf. It's cute when she's a baby, it's sophisticated when she's all grown up! It's perfect Serena!"

"Great" Serena smiled. "Now all you need is for the baby to be a girl, and for Chuck or Nate to be on board."

"They have to be" Blair said. "Seriously, I love that idea!"

"Glad to have been of help" Serena said. "Maybe you can name her Serena for her middle-name, honoring the woman who came up with the name Bridget."

"Bridget…" Blair said again, tasting the name. "Bridget Waldorf."

"Think Chuck will go for it?" Serena asked.

"Who knows?" Blair said with a shrug. "It could go either way."

"Oh, you should totally make an agreement with him!" Serena said, excited at her new brilliant idea. "If it's a girl you pick the name and if it's a boy he picks it."

"No way, not when it's Chuck Bass we're talking about. All that deal is going to do me is that I'll end up with a son named Hash."

Serena rolled over on her stomach and hugged the pillow she was resting her chin against, looking thoughtfully at Blair.

"So are you getting excited yet?"

"About?"

"About becoming a mother, silly."

Blair snorted.

"Serena. For all our talk of baby names and cute things to get for the nursery and all that… This is our biggest fear brought to life. I am so not ready to be a mother. I shouldn't have to be, not at seventeen years old. I know I should have taken that into account when I had sex, and I am going to try my damndest to excel at this but… At times I think of how great it's going to be to meet this little person. All I see then is a perfect little baby, cute and cuddly and all around adorable, and everything women have always loved about babies. But most of the time I see a screaming, pooping little thing I will be bound to for life. Do you have any idea how scary that is Serena?"

"I wouldn't say bound to for life…" Serena said. "My dad left, my mom often dumped Eric and me on her friends, your dad left the country, Bart Bass acts like a parent on average every five days…"

"Serena!"

"Oh come on B, it was a joke."

"Pointing out the painfully truthful is not a joke" Blair griped. "This baby is doomed to have a rotten childhood and loathe me and whoever is the damn father, which is so not what I had in mind when I thought about having children."

"Or you will prove everyone wrong and be a perfect mother."

"Sure. And the kid will grow up with a pet unicorn."

"You have help" Serena said.

"But what if I don't want too much help?"

"I don't get it" Serena frowned.

"What if I want to actually be a responsible mother" Blair said. "Not like our parents. I look at my own relationship with Eleanor, and yours with Lily, or Chuck's with Bart… I don't want my son or daughter to feel resentment towards me."

"B, we all feel resentment towards our parents" Serena said. "No matter how great they were. It's just part of being a teen."

"Dan Humphrey doesn't seem to feel any against his father" Blair pointed out.

"He's from Brooklyn, you can't compare that to real people" Serena said before bursting out in giggles. "Come on B, that is totally what you would say."

"Not funny" Blair said, trying her best not to smile.

"It's a little funny" Serena smirked. "Blair all I'm trying to say is teenagers revolt against their parents. It's part of growing up."

"The baby can revolt all he or she wants to" Blair said. "That's not the issue here. Come on S, we had abandonment issues long before we became teenagers. Leaving someone else to do all the hard work, thus being free to live the same kind of life as the rest of you, is so alluring. But I don't want my child to look at me like I'm a stranger, and cling to some other woman like she's the mother. It scares the hell out of me that I have the responsibility for a _baby_ and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

"You will know when the time comes."

"Obviously our parents didn't."

"May I remind you that this is not solely _your_ responsibility" Serena said gently. "Nate or Chuck has just as big a share in this as you do."

"One can only hope it will be Nate."

"To be honest Blair, as things are right now I'm starting to think we should be hoping that this is _Chuck's_ kid."

"Why?" Blair asked warily.

"Nate hasn't been there for you but Chuck has. As much as I sometimes loathe the guy I can't deny that he's gotten involved. Even Bart seems to think he's more invested than expected. The two of you seem to be getting along great. Sometimes when I see the two of you around each other I almost get a couple vibe."

"Ew, God" Blair exclaimed, nearly sputtering. "Serena that is outrageous, not to mention ridiculous."

"Well you just seem to be getting along really well, and when I saw you two dancing at the wedding you looked…"

"Looked what?"

"Affectionate."

"Serena I am hormonal" Blair said. "I'll look affectionately at the guy at the bakery where I get my afternoon croissants if I'm in the right hormonal mood."

Serena shrugged.

"Chuck seems awfully affectionate towards you. You know, for being Chuck. Which means he's about one third as affectionate as any other guy would be towards the girl carrying his baby."

"Chuck is not affectionate towards me" Blair insisted. "God S, you make it sound like he's got feelings for me."

"Are you sure he doesn't?"

"Yes, definitely" Blair said. "Now get back to your book and stop bothering me with stupid statements about Chuck. The guy cares about as much for me as he did those stupid guppies he had in third grade."

Serena looked confused.

"The ones he forgot to feed for almost a week?"

"Yup" Blair nodded.

"I think it's safe to say Chuck would make sure you got fed if it was his responsibility to keep you nourished" Serena chuckled.

"Let's hope we never have to find out."

"Besides, those guppies survived anyway since his au-pair fed them."

"Can we please stop talking about everything related to fish? Including people named after them?"

Serena shrugged and picked up her book again. Blair bit her bottom lip thoughtfully, pondering Serena's words. Her own appeared attachment towards Chuck could easily be explained by hormones. Chuck's displays of affection towards her?

She shrugged it off. Chuck hadn't shown any signs of being affectionate. Serena was just reading too much into things.

* * *

Chuck held up the door for Blair and they stepped out into the hot, crowded street. Yet another parenting class, when they both would have preferred to find shade and some ice-cream and just enjoy the nice summer's day.

"Next week is Lamaze" Blair reminded Chuck as they walked down the steps. "Feel free to miss it. Dorota's coming with me."

"Sure thing" Chuck said, putting his sunglasses on.

When they reached the bottom of the steps Blair stopped. Chuck stopped as well, wondering what the delay was about.

"Need a ride home?" he asked.

"I was thinking… we go to one of those hotels and spend the afternoon getting even hotter." She flashed him a winning smile. "What do you say, Bass? Feel up for it?"

"I don't know, was that a pun?"

She frowned but he just chuckled and nodded to his limo. As they walked towards it he nearly reached out his hand and took hers. It was a reflex, one he had never felt before, and luckily he had been able to ignore the impulse. She probably wouldn't let him take her hand if he tried. But it would be nice if she did.

He held open the car door for her and gave an address to Arthur. In the back of his mind he wondered how long this horny phase would last. Hopefully for at least a few months. It was the best excuse to take her to bed he had ever had.

* * *

The hotel room door closed behind them and Chuck's hands were immediately on her cheeks as he kissed her softly. She kissed him back, for a moment enjoying the slow sensuality of his kisses and the touch of his hands as they began to trail down her form. Then she realized two key details in the span of about three seconds.

She was tired of slow and tender. She needed something rough.

Slow and tender was bad. They were dangerously close to being loving with each other.

She broke the kiss out of nowhere, making Chuck open his eyes and give her a quite surprised look.

"Enough of this sweet sensuality crap" she said, giving him a light shove backwards to make room for her to pull her top over her head. "I'm horny as hell and I'm tired of being treated like a porcelain doll. In bed and elsewhere. This isn't your style anyway. Do what you do best Bass and play rough with me."

He backed two steps away and was still trying to find his words when she marched past him and grabbed the bedspread, yanking it off in a frustrated motion.

"What are you doing Blair?"

"You're being way too delicate with me" she said, almost purring, as she came up to him again and pushed him up against the wall before kissing him feverishly. "Enough of the tenderness. Make it wild and passionate. That is what we do best, isn't it?"

"Maybe that's not such a good idea?" he objected as her hands reached for his shirt.

"Why not?"

He had to grab a hold of her hands before she yanked his shirt open. He didn't want to risk losing half the buttons and then having to leave with a torn apart shirt. Not that he hadn't been in that predicament a number of times before, but now was not the time.

"Blair, you're in no condition to play wild and crazy" he said.

"For God's sake Bass, I'm not going to break and neither is the baby."

"I won't chance it. Where is all this coming from anyw-"

He found himself cut off by her grabbing a hold of his belt and yanking it loose. Damn, she really was determined to play it rough today.

"When we first slept together a couple of weeks ago I needed the slow and tender" she said, unbuttoning his pants and reaching her hand inside. "I felt like nobody wanted to touch me; I was starved for skin on skin contact. But now all that touching and that whole slow and steady thing is boring me. Surely you feel the same way? I need _passion_. That's what you're good for in bed anyway, isn't it?"

He tried to keep his head clear, which wasn't so easy given what she was currently doing to him.

"Blair stop" he said. "Just, just wait. I'm not sure that having rough sex is good for the baby, and the more passionate we get the less careful we are. The slow and gentle has been working for us up until now. What's wrong with it all of a sudden?"

"We're not a couple" Blair pointed out. "We're not _making love_."

To her horror she felt him go limp in her hand. She let go of him and took a step back, worried what he might say.

"You know…" he said finally. "Nobody said a word about anything like that. I'm just trying to do what's best for the baby. Rough sex can induce labor, can't it? If it can do that in the eighth or ninth month then who knows what it might do in the sixth or seventh?"

"Okay, forget _rough_ then" Blair said. " But for the love of God can we please do this without all the touching and all the gentility? You can quicken your pace without giving me a concussion, can't you?"

He shot her a look which made her wonder if perhaps now she had said the right thing to make him renounce their sexual encounters altogether. Then he sniggered.

"Fine" he said, taking a step closer to her. "If that's how you want to play it. Forget foreplay, just take your clothes off and get on the bed. On all fours. Now. I won't touch you more than necessary."

"Touch all you want" she said, backtracking a bit. "Just… No more of the slow and tender caresses."

"Maybe I should have Arthur bring by my whip and give you a good go-around?" he suggested sullenly.

"If you're going to be pissy about it then forget it."

He put his hands on her cheeks again and crashed his lips against hers, kissing her forcefully and without a trace of sweetness. He was angry, but she was getting just as angry at him as he was with her. He pressed on, making her walk backwards towards the bed as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt. When she felt the bed against the back of her legs she stopped, and he pulled back for air.

"I said… Get naked and on all fours."

* * *

"That far enough from love making for you?" he asked later, as they were both trying to catch their breath. He was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, while she lay on her side next to him.

She smirked. That had been exactly what she needed, and the fact that they had been angry with each other at first had only made it better. It had fueled the passion that had been lacking lately, and it had created just enough emotional distance between them for her to be able to thoroughly enjoy herself without worrying that he might misinterpret it all for something more than it really was.

"Not bad, Bass" she said generously.

He sniggered, and wished he had a cigarette. He rarely smoked other than while partying, but right now a cigarette would have been nice. He felt conflicted and not entirely satisfied, even though the sex had been hot. Blair was getting far too big a say in things, he wasn't some damn stallion from her personal stud farm. He was done playing on only her terms.

"Get dressed" he said.

"First I need a shower" she said. "Actually, first I need to regain function of my arms and legs. You kind of wore me out."

He got off the bed.

"In fifteen minutes I'm checking out of here" he said. "I suggest you make sure to be out the door by that time."

"Don't tell me you're still annoyed" Blair said, a smile lingering on her face as she rolled over on her back. "I thought you passed that after that first go-around."

"I have places to be" he said, picking up his shirt from the floor without bothering with a shower first. "I have no more time to waste on you at present."

Blair frowned.

"Excuse me, you didn't exactly need any convincing to take me here" she said. "And I can't remember hearing you complain while we were in the middle of it either."

"Be that as it may" he said, putting his boxers back on. "I have plans for the evening. You were a fitting entertainment for the afternoon but it's almost time for dinner."

"Chuck" she said, sitting up. "Why are you such a big baby all of a sudden? Because I told you I wanted passion not sensuality? What's it to you either way?"

"Maybe I'm just tired of being your little booty-call" he said, turning to face her as he buttoned his pants.

"You got tired of that between arriving at the hotel and when your pants came off?"

"Let's just say that your Gestapo attitude today kind of broke the camel's back" he said. "You can shower when you get home, just put your clothes on."

"Hand them to me please?"

He scoffed and she rolled her eyes, before pointing to her clothes that were strewn all over the floor.

"I'm having a little trouble bending over and reaching the floor, as you might be aware of" she said. "I said '_please_'."

Without a word he bent over and picked up her clothes. They finished dressing in silence and Blair got off the bed as gracefully as she could.

"So that's it then?" she asked. "You're done with this?"

"I'm fine with the sex" he said, fiddling with getting his belt back on. "So long as it's not entirely on your terms anymore. Dropping everything just to be of service to you whenever you feel frisky is unmanning. And Chuck Bass is not someone you unman."

"Fine" Blair said, suddenly tired of arguing and feeling a strong urge to cry. "Whatever. Let's just go already."

He grabbed her purse from the floor and handed it to her. They walked out the door and he was sure that he had now burned his bridges completely. In all likelihood she wouldn't want to get back into bed with him after this particular outburst. On one hand it was a relief. On the other he could kick himself for cutting himself off from the best time he could possibly spend with her. But in the end his pride won out. Chuck Bass was nobody's boytoy, not even Blair Waldorf's. _Especially_ not Blair Waldorf's.

They walked quietly through the lobby, neither one of them particularly inclined to speak to the other. Blair couldn't believe Chuck had gotten so cranky all of a sudden, and she couldn't make sense of whether this was proof that he did have feelings for her still, or if it meant the exact opposite. If he didn't have feelings for her then he wouldn't have gotten so bent out of shape because she suggested that things be less affectionate between them. On the other hand, if he did have feelings for her he would be content with any sex he could get with her.

Then again, Nate had loved her and still didn't want to sleep with her. Boys simply made no sense whatsoever.

Chuck opened the door to his limo and unceremoniously waved her in.

"Let's get moving" he said.

"Geez Bass, when your mood swings are worse than the pregnant girl's you've really got issues" Blair said, shooting him her best joyless smirk before getting in.

"Of course I have issues" he muttered. "I know _you_."

He got in after her and immediately grabbed his phone. She was sitting too far away to be able to see what he was doing with it, which was exactly his intention. All he was doing was playing a boring game, but he wanted her to think he was looking at something related to his plans for later in the day. He wanted to signal that he had more important things to do than hang out with her, even if that wasn't true.

Blair turned her head in the other direction and looked out the window. While he was eager to appear indifferent to her she was just as eager to appear indifferent to his indifference. The games were back on and neither one of them was prepared to lose.

She wondered to herself which one of them would win this round. Normally she would feel confident that he would be the one to come begging, since he was the more sexual of the two of them and she prided herself on having a self-control he would never possess. But right now that self-control was severely lacking, so it was still anyone's game.

"Almost back at your place" Chuck noted when he looked up from his phone. "You should really put some lotion or some oil or something on your stomach when you get home. Those stretch marks are not going to be pretty if left unattended."

Her jaw dropped. How dare he? Stretch marks? She knew she had the beginnings of such but they definitely weren't evident enough for it to be worth commenting on.

"You uncouth, boorish-"

"Those are synonyms."

"So is your name and '_asshole_'."

"You plan on kissing the baby with that mouth? And _I'm_ the uncouth one?"

"I'm never kissing _you_ with this mouth, ever again" she snarled.

He just shrugged, fueling her anger even further. He felt rejected and didn't want her to know that it bothered him to be treated like someone she could never have deeper feelings for. She, on the other hand, just felt like he was proving her theory that it would be a big mistake to fall in love with him.

"You're going to be begging me to take you to bed again before long" she snarled.

Chuck put his phone away and leaned in closer with a grin.

"You get bigger by the day. You're getting stretch marks. Every day that goes by you lose sexy points. I don't think it will be that difficult for me to refrain."

He leaned back and looked away, keeping the smirk on his face but feeling like crap inside. She had looked offended and hurt by his words and that hurt him in return. He just couldn't surrender to her and let her think she mattered more to him than he did to her. At least not when the gap between their feelings was this wide.

The limo pulled over by her building and stopped. Blair moved as nimbly as possible over to the door, with Chuck offering no help whatsoever. She gave him a look as she opened the door, making what she was about to say completely superfluous since it was all written in her flushed face.

"I don't know what I've been thinking these past couple of weeks" she said. "My sanity has now been restored and you can rest assured that I won't even come close to getting into bed with you again for as long as I live."

"You'll come begging within the week" he casually replied, busying himself with his phone again to underline just how casual he was.

"_You'll_ come begging."

"I have better prospects."

"This baby is definitely Nate's" she snarled. "I'm fairly sure one needs to have a beating heart in order to procreate. Sleeping with you is like getting into bed with a vampire. Safe sex if I ever heard of it."

"That is the worst insult you have ever conjured up" Chuck said with a laugh, eyes still on his phone. "Your logic didn't even make sense."

"Go to hell Bass."

"See you in parenting class."

"Don't bother."

She got out of the car and slammed the door shut. Once the vehicle was moving again Chuck sunk back against the leather seats and let out a long sigh, tossing his phone aside. This had gone terribly. Why did he need to goad her like that when all it did was push her further away? He wanted to bring her closer but he seemed to have lost the ability to predict her reactions. How was it possible to spend an afternoon together with as much passion as they had had, only to be pretty much putting an end to their liaison an hour later?

And why the hell couldn't she feel the same way about him as he did her? Sometimes he believed she was starting to share his feelings, like when they danced at the wedding, or the previous times they had met up for sex. But then she always went and did something that seemed to scream that she didn't have any feelings for him at all. He had once been good at reading her, but now he wasn't able to anymore. He couldn't tell if she pushed him away because she was afraid of what she was beginning to feel, or if she simply wasn't into him. Until he knew he had to protect himself.

The thought of staying in the city alone all summer was starting to bring him down. He hadn't minded at first, thinking he would be spending most of his time wooing Blair in some form or other, but after her brisk refusal today he didn't feel too inclined to stick around and let her know he cared. Serena and Eric were heading to the Hamptons the next day, since Bart and Lily were set to return from their honeymoon later this afternoon. Lily would go to the Hamptons, and Bart too, but only for about a week or so. If Chuck had thought that his father getting married would mean any changes to his business routines he had clearly been mistaken. Bart "family first" Bass obviously had no intentions of practicing what he was preaching.

Chuck decided he would go to the Hamptons too. Leave Blair behind and spend some time bonding with his new family. Bart would probably gripe about it but the Hamptons wasn't _that_ far off. He could still return for those stupid parenting classes.

And perhaps the stubborn mother to be would realize that she missed him while he was gone. One could hope.

* * *

I confess, I'm one of those rare few who managed to miss the whole "Twilight" craze, so I'm not sure when the books and movies actually came out… So if Serena references characters that shouldn't have appeared yet, or the movie hadn't been released yet, then oops.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please review =)


	16. Chapter 16

Updates for this story will be a bit more frequent for the next couple of weeks! Then they will probably be less so. Things are going to get really hectic for me in November so I'm trying to finish the next couple of chapters, which are half-written at present, and post them within the next few weeks as "compensation".

I think the last chapter set a new record for number of reviews with this particular story, so thank you to all who took the time to let me know what you thought =) One reviewer thought I should stop with the push and pull and just put Chuck and Blair together already. As I said when I posted the first chapter, this story isn't necessarily _Chair_. I'm more interested in how the two of them would handle this type of scenario and it has never been a "how Chuck and Blair end up together" type of story. Having said that, I am a shipper and definitely haven't ruled out the possibility of making them an actual couple in the story. But it's not the main point, and I don't want to string anyone along believing that it is, so if you're looking for a story that's mainly _Chair_ this one might be a waste of your time.

Someone asked about "You Can't Always Get What You Want". I'm working on an update, but unfortunately I don't think I'll have anything up too soon. I wrote a complete third chapter, realized it sucked and that I didn't like what I had done with the characters so now I'm trying to salvage the good parts and rewrite the rest. Which is bound to take some time. But I have not abandoned it!

While eyeing through this chapter before posting it I noticed I never say anything about Nate going to the Hamptons. He's just sort of there. But since he was anyway in-between seasons one and two I decided not to elaborate on it. And I think that's all I have to say about chapter 16... hope you'll like it!

* * *

"Mom I won't survive this" Blair complained, sinking down on the couch in her mother's penthouse. "July begins _today_, I'm supposed to carry this thing until late _August_ and I'm already friggin' suicidal."

"Did you expect pregnancy to be a cakewalk?" Eleanor asked, looking up from the model catalogue she was reviewing.

"No" Blair said. "But why would mother nature make it so unbearable that you want to put yourself out of your misery? Why anybody goes through this more than once has got to be the greatest mystery of all time. Clearly you agree, as you will notice the lack of siblings in this household."

She tried her best to reach down to her aching feet and give them a rub. Eleanor looked amused and told Dorota to go get Blair some strawberries and ice water.

"The worst part is the heat" Blair continued to complain. "The _humid_ heat. How many dog days can one pregnant woman survive? I feel like I can barely breathe, and this isn't even the hottest part of summer. I'm constantly flushed and sweaty and all bloated and frankly I would like nothing more than to move in to the refrigerator and not leave until I go into labor."

"Why don't you get out of the city, then?" Eleanor suggested. "I'm leaving for Paris for at least a month anyway…"

"Sounds great Mother, but I don't think Godfather Bass would allow me to leave the country" Blair pointed out.

"I didn't mean exchange one city for another, I meant get away from all these skyscrapers and all the smells and all of that. Go stay with Serena in the Hamptons for a while. You'll have fresh air, a pool, the beach…"

"There is no way I'm showing myself in public in a _bikini_."

"You can sit poolside then. Go have a little Hamptons vacation and gather your strength. Get as much rest as you can, because I guarantee you, once that water breaks you won't get to rest again for at least a decade."

Blair bit her bottom lip, mulling it over. Dorota came over with the water and berries, and Blair took several large gulps which seemed to do nothing to relieve her thirst. Grabbing a couple of strawberries she went over the pros and cons of going to the Hamptons in her head.

"Poolside does sound pretty good" she finally said. "Spending time with S sounds pretty good."

"Chuck is there too, isn't he?" Eleanor asked.

Blair grabbed another couple of strawberries, ignoring her mother's question. The more she thought about it, the better the Hamptons were beginning to sound.

"You know what, Mother… I think this might be a pretty good idea."

"You sure?" Dorota asked. "Maybe staying in city is better."

"Nonsense Dorota" Eleanor scoffed. "Let her have her last vacation."

"I'm not on death row" Blair argued.

"You could have fooled me, the way you're complaining."

"You would be complaining too if you were in this hellish sate" Blair shot back, making a face at her mother.

"Is it settled then?" Eleanor asked. "I'll call the chauffeur, unless you want to go there on the jitney."

"I'll call S, let her know I'm coming!" Blair chirped, feeling much better.

She tried skipping to her feet, planning to then skip up the stairs, but her condition quickly put all such thoughts to rest. Instead she had to struggle to get up, very ungracefully. With one hand on her belly and the other on the small of her back Blair stopped to pant for a second before making her way rather slowly to the stairs. Dorota and her mother followed her with their eyes and shared a giggle.

"That duck waddling is so funny" Eleanor commented.

"Mother!" Blair snarled.

Trying her best to preserve her dignity she made her way up the stairs, while Eleanor and Dorota tried to conceal their giggles.

* * *

"_Now_ I feel like a human being…" Blair declared, followed by an '_aaaahhh_' as she stretched out in the sun chair. "A fresh breeze, some icy lemonade and nothing to do all day but just lie here and gestate."

"That makes one of us who feels like a human being" Serena said, taking a large sip from her margarita.

"You should feel _more_ like a human being now that you're rid of that walking, talking appendix known as Dan Humphrey" Blair argued. "I know it sucks right now S, but you'll come to realize that breaking up with him was like a gift from above. You two weren't compatible. Now you can find a real quality guy and finally enjoy yourself a little."

"So how have _you_ been this past month?" Serena asked, eager to change the subject to anything but herself and Dan.

"Do yourself a favor S" Blair said, closing her eyes. "Never be pregnant during summer. Make sure you have all your children in April or May."

"Is it really that bad?" Serena asked.

"You're carrying around this heavy thing all the time, you're hot and sweaty and you have to rush to the bathroom like once an hour. And when you lie down it kind of feels like the baby is pressing against your lungs or something, it's harder to breathe. And you can just forget about sleeping on your stomach. Trust me, having a New York summer on top of that is not the makings of a wonderful time. If you must be pregnant during summer, heed my word and relocate to New Zeeland from June to September."

"I'm sorry B."

"I'll live. Just take my word for it, make sure that when you decide to have children you plan ahead and have a due date before summer."

Serena's phone rang. Blair opened one eye and looked over at her.

"That's not Dan I hope."

"It's Eric" Serena said, getting up. "I'll go take it inside."

Blair nodded and leaned her head back down, putting on her sunglasses. She took a deep breath and let it out with a content sigh. With her right hand she slowly caressed her swelling belly, feeling a kick in response. She really did feel much better now, better than she had in quite a while. She could get on board with this. Just sitting in a sun chair all summer, riding out the remainder of her pregnancy in this relaxed state, a pool just a few feet away for when she needed to cool off. For the moment all of her concerns were gone. There were no thoughts of what would happen in the fall, no worries about paternity tests or custody arrangements, none of the strikes of panic she sometimes felt when she began to wonder how she would actually be as a mother.

With a content smile she began to drift off to sleep. The sun felt amazing now, not at all like a nuisance. She could get a nice tan out of it, which would make her feel at least a little bit better. Her mother had been right, this was her last summer being free to do what she wanted and getting to really rest. Next summer there would be a child to keep an eye on.

"Good lord, you've gotten big!" Chuck's voice suddenly broke through her little bubble of peace and serenity.

She frowned and lifted her sunglasses up, giving him an annoyed stare. He had just walked outside and was staring at her belly, which he hadn't seen in nearly a month, with wide eyed surprise.

"Excuse me" she said. "Do you mind? I was actually enjoying myself."

"You and the beached whale you're hiding behind."

She scoffed, insulted.

"I haven't gotten _that_ much bigger since you last saw me!"

"Are you kidding?"

"If I wasn't a lady I would get up and shove you into the pool" she sulked.

"You mean, if you weren't too pregnant to get up at all."

She resisted the urge to growl at him. What was with him today? He had been almost passing for a gentleman since she started showing, never making a big deal out of her change in appearance, but today he seemed set on making up for lost insults.

"Let's not forget whose spawn this big bump consists of" she said.

"How are you supposed to be able to give birth to something that size?"

"Enough!"

He took a seat on the sun chair to her right, and studied her. His last comment had not been teasing. The thought of the baby's birth had been at the back of his mind since it first _really_ sunk in that Blair was pregnant. It always left a bad taste in his mouth and an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. He knew better than anyone how dangerous childbirth could be, and seeing Blair for the first time in almost a month he really reacted at how large her bump was. And the baby still had nearly two months of growing left to do before making its entrance. She was going to split in two if that thing tried to enter the world the usual way. It scared him.

It didn't make things better that the _best_ case scenario still involved what would probably be hours of agony for her. Twelve to eighteen for a first-time mother, according to the lecture him and Nate had been given by their biology teacher. They had been forced to sit through a birthing video in the parenting classes and even though it was a full delivery condensed into only fifteen minutes it had made him feel a whole lot worse than when he was six and saw "_Jaws_" on TV. The thought of sitting through _hours_ of that in real life made him queasy. He didn't do well with other people in pain, especially not when that other person was someone he deeply cared about. Whether he was there to witness it or not the mere imagination of what it would be like was enough to make him want to down a whole bottle of Jack Daniels in less than two minutes. There was nothing beautiful at all about childbirth. It was gross and painful and probably really smelly. Was there any way to keep the baby from getting any bigger than it was now?

Blair had leaned her head back and put her sunglasses back on, but now she sat up and took them off, studying him with a frown.

"Did you want something else Bass? Besides insulting me?"

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

The question surprised her. He looked so serious, like he was genuinely concerned. The mocking from just a minute ago had gone away completely.

"Better" she finally said. "It was too hot in the city, but out here it at least feels bearable. So, good I guess."

"Good."

He watched her silently for a minute. The wheels began to turn in her head. What had gotten into him this time?

"And everything is okay with..?" he then asked.

"I would have let you know if there was a problem with the baby."

"Still feeling nauseous?"

She chuckled a little, getting uncomfortable by his very sudden change in moods.

"I'm fine Chuck. Just overheated and whiny."

"You should get a lot of rest. You'll need it."

"So everyone keeps telling me."

He got up and looked at her once more before walking off down the lawn. She watched him go and decided that even if she lived to be a hundred she would never fully understand the inner workings of Chuck Bass.

She got up from her chair and walked over to the pool. Slowly she descended the steps into the cool water, and began to swim with long strokes. Swimming was surprisingly easy; she was almost as graceful while seven months pregnant as she had been when she wasn't pregnant at all. She felt weightless in the water, and for the first time in a long time she could forget for a moment about everything that was going on with her body and just enjoy herself. She had always loved the water, and the cool water of the pool was just what she needed on a hot day like today.

She swam lap after lap before finally getting tired. She turned over on her back and turned her face towards the sun, wishing she had kept the sunglasses on as she squinted in the bright light while peddling water. No way was she returning to the city until she necessarily had to. She wasn't on summer vacation, she was on maternity leave. And her pregnant body needed a couple of weeks, or months, like this.

When she finally opened her eyes she saw that Chuck had returned. He was sitting on the edge of the pool, one leg bent and the other in the water. She wondered if he was going to play nice right now or if he was back to teasing mode.

"Could you get me my sunglasses?" she asked.

He got up and walked over to her sun chair, picking up the glasses she had put on the small table next to it. Blair swam over to the edge of the pool and waited until he came back. He handed her the glasses and sat back down, this time letting both his legs dip into the water. She felt a weird urge to reach out and touch him. For a brief second she wished she could touch those legs whenever she wanted to. She remembered vividly what it was like to run her hands along them. Then the feeling went away, and she put her feet against the side of the pool and with a strong push shoved her body back out into the middle of the pool.

"The little mer… mother" Chuck said.

"Your dad's pool is awesome" she informed him.

She flashed him a smile, content to be able to study him through her sunglasses without him really knowing it. She should be pissed at him for looking so good. Here she was, the big pregnant cow, and he looked better than he ever had. There was something new about him since she had last seen him a month ago. Something with the hair, but it had to be something else as well.

She turned her face back to the sun and continued to peddle water. She could feel his eyes on her. She didn't mind. The parts of her that were large were now under water, so all he had to look at was her face, her arms and shoulders and occasionally her upper chest. He could look at those parts all he wanted to.

It kind of felt like they were having a moment, but before she could make any clear definitions in her mind the doors to the patio opened and Serena stepped outside.

"Okay, so Eric won't be joining us for dinner, apparently there's some cute guy down at a cabana…" she said.

"Cute guys and cabanas" Blair sighed. "S, you should be out there having too much fun with cute guys at cabanas to show up for dinner at home. I want to, but I can't. You on the other hand can and you should. Live vicariously for me."

"And if you're lucky you'll end up with your very own enormous stomach to float around in the pool with" Chuck grinned, looking up at Serena who had stopped right beside him.

Blair sulked. Why couldn't he be nice for more than a few minutes in a row?

"B, you know I'm not ready just yet" Serena said, ignoring her stepbrother. "No matter how hot or nice a guy I talk to is, he's not Dan."

"Thank God" Chuck said.

"You should come out of the pool" Serena continued. "Dinner is served in twenty minutes. I think it's barbecued chicken."

"I don't eat chicken" Blair reminded her. "Too risky, remember?"

"The chef's making souvlaki for you. Now get up or you won't have time to shower and change." She smacked Chuck on the head. "That goes for you too. Take a shower, you smell like hell."

"It's called sweat, and it happens when it's hot out" Chuck objected.

Blair swam to the steps and got up from the pool. She could have easily stayed in the water until sundown but now that Serena had mentioned food she realized how hungry she was. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her waist.

"Make haste, Chuck" she said. "If you're not at the table in twenty minutes I will eat your food too. I don't care if it is chicken."

* * *

Exactly twenty minutes later Blair sat down by the table outside, impatiently waiting for dinner to be served. Serena sat opposite her, her facial expression not even almost matching the sunny weather. Nate had joined them and sat next to her, but seemed preoccupied with something as he was constantly checking his phone. At the head of the table Cece sat, prattling on about something boring old ladies liked to talk about. Blair wasn't listening.

Finally Chuck arrived, sitting down next to Blair and, ignoring Cece completely, began to talk on the phone with someone he apparently hung out with in the Hamptons. They were discussing what movie to go see that night. Blair didn't really care what the conversation around the table was about, so long as she didn't have to partake in it. She was starving and severely cranky. If she didn't get food in her system within the next three minutes she might just take a chunk out of Chuck's arm and chew on that until something more seasoned arrived.

A servant placed a basket of bread and a salad on the table and Blair immediately grabbed a mini-baguette and began to chew on it without bothering to butter it first. She noticed that Cece had stopped talking and looked over at her. The older woman was looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Hungry dear?" she asked coolly.

Blair gave her a joyless smirk and continued eating her piece of bread. Serena went for the salad, but mostly seemed to be pushing the lettuce around on her plate, not even touching anything else in the salad with the fork. Good times all around.

Finally Chuck and his friend seemed to have settled on going to see "_You Don't Mess with the Zohan_", and as if to celebrate that decision the main course was finally served.

"B we should join Chuck" Serena suddenly said, looking up as her barely touched salad was taken away. "Get out of the house for the evening."

"I only just arrived today" Blair argued. "I'm not bored yet."

"We could go see '_Sex and the City_'."

"I thought you already saw it."

"Why don't you join me anyway, and actually go to the same movie as me?" Chuck asked with a teasing grin, knowing how much Serena detested Adam Sandler unless the movie he was in was '_the Wedding Singer_'.

"No thanks" Serena sulked. "I'll just stay with B and watch something old and boring on TV."

Blair didn't comment. She was too busy drowning her souvlaki in ajvar relish.

"Why don't you let Nate take you out to a movie?" Cece asked.

Chuck raised an eyebrow, interest peaked. He had of course heard the gossip about Serena and Nate, but didn't believe a word of it. Especially not when Serena looked heartbroken and Nate looked like he most of all wanted to be anywhere else than at this table. He glanced over at Blair to see if there was any reaction from her but all she seemed focused on was figuring out how much relish you could put on a single piece of meat. Serena looked surprised and Nate looked uncomfortable. Serena began to stutter something but Nate cut her off.

"I'm helping my mom out with something tonight" he said vaguely. "So I can't."

Chuck concealed a snort. Yeah right. Nate was hooking up with someone else, and for whatever reason didn't want it to be known. Quite possibly the reason was the pregnant girl to Chuck's left. Did Nate still have feelings for her, or was it just that he didn't want the girl pregnant with a child that still might be his to hear about his romantic escapades? Chuck prayed for the latter. If it was the former then at least he could find some relief in the fact that Blair hadn't seemed to pick up on any of the drama around the table.

"That's too bad" Cece said in a tone which left it unclear whether or not she too had picked up on the lack of passion between Nate and her granddaughter.

"Are you eating that?" Blair asked Chuck, and without waiting for an answer stabbed a mushroom from his plate and put it in her mouth.

"Bordering on cliché, wouldn't you say?" he remarked dryly. "What will you be having for dessert, pickles and ice-cream?"

"What? You got more on your plate than I did."

She grabbed a barbequed corncob from a platter and buttered it without hesitation. Normally this heat would kill her appetite completely, and normally she would at least pretend not to be this starving, and normally she wouldn't even put half as much butter on her corn as she really wanted to, but not today. She had a very healthy appetite and she was on vacation. In a way it was fun to have a free pass to eat whatever she wanted and however much she wanted.

Across the table Serena barely touched her chicken, and made a disapproving face at how Blair ate the corn. Her appetite was non-existent, and she had completely forgotten that Nate and Chuck weren't getting along when she invited Nate over. The only thing she felt like doing was calling Dan, but she knew she shouldn't. They had broken up for a reason. Talking to him now would only prolong the suffering.

She was barely aware that Nate got a text and abandoned his dinner altogether to answer it. Cece noticed however and snorted at the four teens and their inabilities to conceal what was going on inside their minds. Serena was clearly not over that Humphrey boy and was moping all over the place. Nate had some other girl he was interested in and she seemed to have his full attention. Blair was focused on little else besides caving to her pregnancy urges and Chuck couldn't seem to make up his mind as to which person to try and get in favor with, Blair or Nate. The drama was most tiresome.

Once Blair had finished her souvlaki she felt less desperate for food and more like a normal person at the dinner table. She leaned back in her chair, wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead and let her eyes fall on the boy on the other side of the table. She hadn't seen much of Nate these past couple of months. Damn, he still looked really, really good.

She studied him discreetly while they waited for dessert to be brought out to the table. She couldn't tell if it was just the pregnancy hormones talking, but an hour ago she had been feeling drawn to Chuck, now she found herself longing back to Nate. Beautiful, sensible Nate. The guy who might still be the father of her baby.

She looked down and began fidgeting with her napkin. Chuck was right there next to her, and she felt more drawn to him now than she ever had before. But her hesitations concerning him were still the same. He was too dangerous to fall in love with. Nate on the other hand… She still did love him. Perhaps not as passionately as she had before, but looking at him still made her heart skip a beat and her stomach flutter. If he wanted a second chance for them, or, well, a third chance, she wouldn't be one to object.

Dessert was finally served and she ate in silence, preoccupied with her thoughts. Chuck studied her for a moment, noticing a shift in her mood but unable to put his finger to exactly what was up.

Serena barely touched her dessert before excusing herself and leaving the table. Nate excused himself a second later, supposedly to go after her but Chuck was willing to bet anything that he was only going to walk straight through the house and head home, or wherever he was meeting up with his new girl toy.

The next thing he knew Blair had gotten up as well, sporting a frown, and excused herself on account of… nothing. She waddled off towards the house and a rather surprised Chuck turned to look at Cece, his only remaining dinner company.

"Are we the only one without any personal drama today?" she asked him dryly.

"It's still early" he replied. "Excuse me."

He got up and walked after his friends to the house. He'd rather take a dinner full of drama than dessert alone with Cece.

* * *

Blair knocked on Serena's door and waited for an answer. When she got one she opened the door she saw her friend lying face down on the bed, looking depressed. She breathed a sigh of relief. She had gotten worried Nate had gone up to her.

She walked inside and closed the door behind her. She took a seat in an armchair by the window and waited in silence for a minute, wondering if Serena wanted to talk.

"Everything okay, S?" she finally asked.

Serena let out a big sigh and rolled over on her back.

"Blair what if Dan and I made a mistake breaking up?"

"You didn't" Blair said softly. "I'm not saying this because I think you're far too good for him. I'm saying it because things between you had gotten to where the relationship wasn't making either one of you happy. You don't want to live like that."

"But maybe it doesn't have to be like that" Serena said.

"Serena I'm not trying to make you feel bad" Blair said. "I'm just trying to be realistic. You guys tried to change what wasn't working and you couldn't."

"Perhaps we gave up too soon. Maybe now that we've had time apart and a fresh perspective-"

"These problems were there from the start" Blair reminded her. "They're never going to go away. You can't change who you are and deep down Dan doesn't like who you are and where you come from. If you change to be the person he wants you to be then you'll no longer be you. And Dan, he can't stop feeling the way he does about the things he does, because if he did he wouldn't be Dan anymore. I'm sorry S, but there just isn't any way around this. Breaking up was hard, but you did the right thing."

"Then why does it feel so wrong?" Serena asked, looking down at her pillow.

"Because you love him" Blair said simply. "And love is… complicated." She sighed and twirled her fingers in her lap. "Serena can I ask you something? And you promise to tell me the truth even if you think it will hurt my feelings?"

"Of course" Serena said.

"Is Nate your rebound guy?"

"What?" Serena asked. Then she realized what Blair was thinking. "No. No, no, it's not like that. He's just being my cover, and I'm being his. If people think I'm dating him then that means less of the pity for me. And Nate, he's seeing someone and it's kind of on the down low, so I'm his cover girlfriend."

"So he is seeing someone?" Blair asked.

Serena sat up, suddenly realizing what was going on.

"B…" she said. "I… I thought you were over Nate."

"Apparently I'm not" Blair said, shrugging a shoulder.

"I just… I kind of thought there was something going on between you and Chuck. You've been spending all this time together, I see the way he looks at you…"

"I don't know what I feel" Blair admitted. Serena had stopped sobbing but now tears were beginning to fall down Blair's cheeks. "This pregnancy is messing with my emotions. I've loved Nate since I was a girl, I can't just turn that off. It's totally insane Serena. One day I'm feeling like I'm completely over Nate. Then he smiles in a certain way, or I find an old CD we used to love to listen to, or something else happens and all I can think of is how much I want that future with Nate, and… other guys barely even enter my mind."

"Sounds to me like you're not done mourning your relationship with Nate."

"It's more than that."

"Are you sure it is? Do you really want _Nate_, or do you want the kind of future you had envisioned with him?"

"Nate being the one I'm with is kind of crucial to that vision" Blair pointed out. "S I don't know. I don't really want to love anyone right now. I want to focus only on myself and my unborn child. I feel like I can't trust myself, you know? I can't trust my own emotions. If I don't want Nate then why does it hurt so badly to think that he might have moved on? When your heart starts racing at the sight of someone and their mere presence makes you happy, isn't that for real?" she asked, miserably realizing that the description she had just given could fit both Nate and Chuck.

"B I can't tell you what is real or not" Serena said. "All I can tell you is that the smartest thing you've said tonight is to focus on yourself and the baby right now. The last thing you need right now is a new relationship."

Blair nodded and tried to wipe the tears from her face. Then she couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously S, how pathetic am I?" she said good-naturedly. "I eat like one of those people who weight four hundred pounds, I'm having hot flashes like a woman in menopause, I'm sitting here crying like a baby over my ex-boyfriend whom I've actually thought I've begun to get over in the past couple of months… And did I tell you I've forgotten what my feet look like? I don't even know what the nail polish on my toes look like! How pathetic is that?"

"Your feet look adorable" Serena offered with a little laugh.

"At least you can find some solace in that no matter how hard things are for you right now, at least you're not the one pregnant before senior year who doesn't know if she still loves the baby's maybe-daddy or not."

"Do you want me to call off the fake dating thing?" Serena asked.

"No, it's okay. If it makes it easier for you then… It's really none of my business anyway." She got up from her chair. "Listen, I'm still kind of hungry… I'm going to go down to the kitchen and see if I can find something to snack on. And S, I know things really suck right now, but they will get easier. Dan is your first love and that's hard to move past, but somehow we all do."

"Does everyone?" Serena asked.

"Pretty sure."

"Then you'll get over Nate."

Blair smiled slightly and left the room, heading down the stairs for the kitchen.

* * *

After spending almost an hour fidgeting in his room Chuck decided to go talk to Blair. He needed to see where her mind was at. Had her sudden departure from the table had anything to do with Nate? Not knowing drove Chuck crazy and he wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy his evening or the movie he was going out to see until he could find out where Blair's head was at.

He walked down the hallway to her room and knocked on the door. When he opened it he was surprised to find her sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style, a magazine open in front of her, eating ajvar relish from the jar.

"Hungry?" he asked when she looked up.

"What do you want, Bass?" she asked, eating another spoon full of relish and turning the page in her magazine.

"After seeing this sight, to thank the Lord for not making me a woman."

"Great. Do that in your own room."

He walked further inside and closed the door behind him. Blair sighed and put her magazine away.

"What? You want the relish?" she asked dryly.

"I'm here to satisfy my curiosity" Chuck said, taking a seat on the carpet on the floor.

"It's called cravings."

"About a few things I noticed during dinner."

"That was also called cravings."

"Hmm… Cravings of the… non-edible variety."

"You've lost me" Blair said, putting another spoon of relish in her mouth.

"So it would seem… Tell me, why did you leave the table in such a rush? You barely touched your dessert."

"I needed to go to the bathroom."

"Did you?"

"Yes" Blair said, tired of the Bass Inquisition. "Fun fact: Babies in the womb tend to press against the bladder. Meaning the mother requires frequent visits to the bathroom. You should include that when you say your thankful prayers."

He hesitated. He desperately wanted to know what she was thinking, and above all what she was feeling. He just wasn't sure how to get her into the mindset where she would tell him. He used to know how to get her to open up about things, even when she didn't really want to open up to him, but she was unpredictable now. There was someone else affecting her, someone very tiny yet very much in control. He knew he needed to somehow get her to stop being sullen and get more relaxed. He also felt strongly that he needed assurance that no matter what the baby was still his. Still theirs. Even though they couldn't know for sure he needed to feel that the ways their relationship had developed this year hadn't changed.

"Blair…" he said, in a tone so soft it made her hold her breath to hear what he would say next. "Can I talk to the baby for a while?"

Wordlessly she moved back on the bed and stretched out on her back. He kicked off his shoes and got up on the bed next to her, shoving her magazine down on the floor. He pulled up the white tunic she was wearing and touched her belly for the first time in over a month. It really was much bigger now.

"Hey kid…" he said.

He felt a kick, and a smile appeared on his face. He glanced up at Blair, who smiled with the spoon sticking out of her mouth.

"The baby does that more often now" she told him.

"Does it bother you?"

"No" she said. "Sometimes. But you just can't know the feeling… Tiny little hands and feet touching you from inside. It's a real, living thing. It's hard to comprehend, but it's… great."

"It scares me."

"Here I thought you were brave."

He turned his eyes back to her stomach and caressed it gently.

"Hey world's biggest unborn baby" he said. "Don't tell me this relish thing is you. I find it kind of gross. Better pin it all on Blair." He paused for a moment, trying to think of what to say. "Enjoy your last two months in captivity. Trust me, once you're out you'll find you were better off staying in. In there you're all warm and cozy and you have everything you need provided for you. When you're out in the real world you'll be cold, hungry and thirsty. And just wait until people start _demanding_ things of you, and giving you _responsibilities_, and _expect_ things from you. Incidentally, I learned how to read when I was five, and I think your mom learned before first grade too, so feel the pressure."

"I was six" Blair informed him.

"Here's something else nobody warns you about when you're still in the womb" Chuck went on, stroking Blair's stomach. "All the complicated emotions you're going to have to deal with. Emotions suck, and let's be honest here, any emotional dilemmas you will experience you will be much better off turning to your mom about it. She's got much more experience dealing with emotions. I'm level headed. She lets her emotions run wild with her."

"What are you talking about?" Blair snorted.

"Just earlier today she ran from the dinner table. From the looks of it driven by some pregnancy-enhanced emotion."

"Or the urge to pee."

"Sure that's all that was going on?" he asked, looking up.

"God Bass, why do you even care?"

"We're friends. If something's upsetting you I hope you know you can talk to me about it."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You sure?"

"Positive" she said with the spoon in her mouth.

He abandoned the pretense of chatting with the baby and looked up at her with eyes that were dead serious.

"Do you still have feelings for Nate?"

"None of your business Bass."

"If the baby turns out to be mine I'd say it is" he argued.

"Then ask me again in two months."

"I'm asking you now."

She looked into his dead serious eyes and felt miserable. Why did she have to be so conflicted? He cared about her, she could see that quite clearly. And when they were alone together she knew she cared about him too. Maybe more than just cared. There was an attraction between them that couldn't be denied. And she hated having to hurt his feelings. But Nate was still a much safer choice than Chuck, regardless of paternity, and perhaps it was maternal instinct that was driving her back towards Nate. Kind, compassionate, decent Nate. The polar opposite of the boy looking at her right now.

"I don't know" she truthfully answered his question. "I think so. I won't say that I don't when I've been thinking…"

Her voice trailed off. His face remained neutral, as he fought hard to not let on any emotion. If she still felt this way then he couldn't allow her to know it hurt him. She couldn't be the one with the emotional upper hand. But he also knew he couldn't just nod his head and gracefully bow out, giving her his blessing to run off and fawn over Nate.

"You don't belong with Nate" he said, slowly sitting back up and moving to get off the bed. "Never have, never will."

He got up and left the room slowly, while giving her a look she couldn't quite interpret. She wanted to ask him to stay but at the same time she wished it were Nate with her right now. God, she was positively schizophrenic.

* * *

Chuck pulled his earphones from his ears when he thought he heard commotion from inside. He frowned and wondered what was wrong, sitting up in his sun chair. He told himself he wasn't concerned or anything, but confirming that the commotion was not Blair-related was just something he wanted to do to be responsible. Blair had been staying at his father's Hamptons' house for two weeks now and it had all been drama-free, but you never knew.

He got up and hurried inside. He nearly stopped dead in his tracks when his father came striding through the double glass doors separating the entry hallway from the sitting room leading out to the patio.

"Dad" Chuck said. "I… thought you were in Munich."

"I was, and I now I have to go to Johannesburg" Bart said, taking off his sunglasses. "I'm just here overnight."

Chuck nodded slightly, surprised by his father's appearance. When Bart had said he would be spending most of summer either abroad with Lily or abroad on travel Chuck had taken that to mean that he wouldn't see much of his father until summer was over.

"The Hamptons is not exactly on the way between Munich and Johannesburg" he pointed out. "What made you decide to stop by for just one night?"

"I thought I should check up on you" Bart said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Check up on me? I've already had my first drinking binge years ago, tried most drugs on the market and gotten a girl pregnant. It's a little late for supervision, I'd say."

"I've been thinking and it doesn't seem quite fair for me to devote so much time to business this summer" Bart said. "I thought you might…"

He trailed off when they heard steps coming down the staircase and turned to see who it was. Chuck already knew who it was. The only person who hadn't come down yet and left the house was Blair. Now she and her pregnant belly were heading out to the pool, and Chuck almost had to laugh at how she halted and the surprised look on her face when she saw Bart.

"Blair, how good to see you" Bart said.

"Likewise" she stuttered. "I… Lily said you were in Europe."

"Just home over night" Bart said and walked up to her.

"Heading out for a swim?" Chuck asked Blair, offering her an excuse to not stay and talk.

"That's right" Blair said.

"Chuck's mother did a lot of laps while she was pregnant…" Bart said musingly. He studied Blair's belly and she felt uncomfortable, wearing only a bikini and an open robe. "Swimming is good for you" he continued. "I think I shall join you outside."

Blair smiled uncertainly, not sure how she felt about going swimming with Chuck's father. Bart kept his eyes on her belly and she wondered if she was being appraised.

"May I?" he then asked.

"Of course" she replied automatically.

The next thing she knew Bart's hands were on her belly, gently exploring it in what was an oddly reassuring way. Blair was struck with how similar his touch was to Chuck's. It didn't make her feel the way Chuck's did, but the hands were so similar and the way he touched her bump was eerily similar to the way Chuck touched it when he was talking to the baby and not trying to seduce her. She was hit with how if this baby was Chuck's as they all suspected, then Bart was closely connected to the child. There was a part of Bart Bass in there.

Chuck watched them and felt both left out and uncomfortable. Blair's initial hesitation was gone and she was looking at Chuck's father in a way that made Chuck wonder if they had just made some form of connection. It sure seemed like it. Bart looked up at Blair and the two eyed each other in silence.

"Dad, you've touched the bump" Chuck said. "Let her go out and take her swim."

"Does the baby kick a lot?" Bart asked Blair as if he hadn't heard Chuck.

"More and more" Blair answered as if she hadn't heard Chuck either. "It should kick again soon. Wait and you'll feel it."

Chuck made a face and began shifting his weight from one foot to the other. She was going to let his father stand there with his hands on her stomach until the baby kicked? Who knew how long that would be?

"Have you kids decided on a name yet?" Bart asked.

"Still set on waiting until we meet him or her."

"So what are you calling it at this point?"

"Alex" Blair said, which was news to Chuck. "Since it's unisex."

"We're not naming the baby Alex" Chuck objected. "There are like five kids in our building named Alexander or Alexandra already."

"It's a working title, Chuck" Bart explained, at least acknowledging his son's presence even if he didn't take his eyes off Blair. "We called you Jamie when you were unborn."

"Jamie?" Chuck echoed with disgust.

"We never considered actually _naming_ you Jamie" Bart clarified. "But you don't want to refer to your unborn child as '_it_'."

"Does that mean '_Pennywise_' is also out?" Chuck asked dryly.

"Be quiet Jamie" Blair said.

Chuck snorted, rolled his eyes and turned on his heel.

"I will be outside" he said. "When the two of you are done inappropriately bonding you can come join me."

"There!" Bart said. "I felt it."

"That was a hand, I think" Blair smiled.

"It should start turning soon" Bart replied.

Having definitely heard enough Chuck walked back outside and sullenly took a seat. He grabbed his iPod, determined to shut out any further dialogue between Blair and his father. Seeing his father with his hands on Blair, even if it was as platonic as it could possibly be, made him uneasy.

After a few minutes Blair finally came outside and slipped out of her silk bathrobe. She tossed it on a sun chair and slowly made her way down the steps of the pool. Chuck watched her silently as she began to swim. What the hell had just happened between her and Bart? How come Bart seemed to be brimming over with empathy for poor Blair and her plight but showed none of that to Chuck? The whole thing was massively annoying.

Bart came out ten minutes later, having changed out of his suit and into a pair of khaki shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. He took a seat on the sun chair next to Chuck's and Chuck reluctantly removed his ear phones. He knew when his father was in let's-have-a-talk mode and this was one of those times.

"Once I'm done with business in Johannesburg I will be cancelling all my other engagements during summer" Bart announced. "Lily and I will go away in August as planned, but up until then I will be here."

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Chuck asked, and lifted his sunglasses up.

"I should be around in case you need me."

"In that case there's no need to cancel anything" Chuck said with a slight smile. "I'm doing fine."

"Unless that baby is Nathaniel's you're soon to be a father."

"Don't worry, I'm sure that won't change if you go on business trips."

"Charles" Bart said. "I'm staying over summer. And I thought you would be happy about it. Lily and I are married now and we're all focused on family. On making our family work. Going away on business all summer is the last thing our family needs."

"Ah, so this isn't about me or Blair or… Alex, was it?"

"Of course it is."

"No" Chuck argued. "If it were then you wouldn't be going away in _August_, when the kid is due to arrive. It's about your marriage and your new extended family focus. I don't get why you don't just say that. Like I'm going to judge you."

Instead of answering Bart looked over at Blair, swimming back and forth in the pool.

"Things are… good between you two?" he asked.

"Not really" Chuck said, thinking back at the period when they had been having sex a lot. It had only lasted a couple of weeks but he longed back to it.

"But you invited her out here. I'm glad. You are a much more active part of the process now that you're under the same roof."

"Serena invited her actually" Chuck said. "Or maybe she invited herself. I don't know. She was just… here one day."

Did his father not comprehend that Blair was merely a few yards away, and that the pool was not surrounded by an invisible shield which blocked out all sound? Blair could hear them. Chuck was highly concerned Bart might bring up the subject of Chuck and Blair _together_ again. Blair would no doubt wonder what that was all about.

"Are you spending a lot of time together?"

"Dad please" Chuck groaned. "I've gotten by for seventeen years without you taking any interest in my private affairs. I don't need you to meddle in my relationships, platonic or otherwise."

"A good relationship with your child's mother is the most beneficial situation" Bart argued, nodding towards Blair. "Platonic, romantic, either way I think you-"

He was cut off by Chuck sighing and getting up from his sun chair. Bart watched as his son huffed and puffed his way inside, wondering to himself how Chuck would handle actually being a parent if he still through teenage tantrums. He rose and walked over to the edge of the pool, catching Blair's eyes. She swam over and began peddling water.

"Where did Chuck go?" she asked.

Bart smiled slightly. He had secretly thought Blair Waldorf would be a good match for his son for quite some time, even though she had been with Nate. He had hoped the two of them would be drawn to each other without a baby in the picture but now that a baby was on its way it pleased him to see Blair showing interest in Chuck. Bart had a feeling Chuck liked her a lot more than he was willing to let on, and seeing hints of interest from Blair boded well for the future.

"Chuck went inside" he said. "I hope he's been a gentleman with you while you've been out here."

"You know Chuck" Blair said. "He can play nice when he wants to."

"Has he wanted to?"

"Some of the time."

"I know it may not be my place to voice an opinion, but I hope the two of you enjoy each other's company. You will be seeing a lot of each other when Alex is born."

"Not if the baby is Nate's" Blair said. "Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom."

Feeling a touch too uncomfortable with the conversation she swam towards the steps and got up from the pool. Bonding moment with Bart or no, talking to him about her relationship with Chuck was just too awkward.

* * *

"I honestly don't understand it" Bart sighed that evening, putting aside the report he had been trying to read.

"What, the quarterly?" Lily asked.

"My son" Bart said. He shifted in bed, moving from a sitting position to lying down, and arranged the pillow behind his head. "When I let him handle his affairs on his own he seems to be angry that I don't care enough. When I take an interest in his personal life he gets angry at me for sticking my nose where it doesn't belong."

"Darling, he's a teenager" Lily said, not taking her eyes from her fashion magazine.

"That's helpful" Bart said dryly. "Since you are such an expert why don't you tell me how I should talk to him?"

"Well for one it depends on _what_ part of his personal life you're taking an interest in" Lily said, looking over at him. "If it's the baby then I can tell you that it is a very touchy subject with him. He might interpret your taking an interest as you criticizing him."

"He needs someone to set him straight and help show him what it means to be a parent" Bart argued.

"Your son has good instincts" Lily replied. "I agree that he needs you to help him, but a lot of it will probably come natural. It's understandable that he might feel like you're bothering him if you don't even give him the chance to show that he can take responsibility on his own."

"Recently all I've been doing is telling him when I approve" Bart objected. "Today I told him I was happy to see his relationship with Blair being so good and he just stormed off."

"Oh Bart" Lily said, seemingly amused. "He only just turned seventeen. You offering your opinion on a girl he has a crush on is bound to get that reaction. At least when it's not reciprocated and he didn't confide in you."

"You don't think it's reciprocated?"

"I think Blair has other things on her mind right now than whether or not your son is of romantic interest to her."

"I told Chuck I think Blair would make the perfect match for him" Bart said. "They're about to become parents together. She is just the right person to make him calm down. Chuck should make his feelings for her clear."

"First of all you don't know that he has feelings for her" Lily argued. "He hasn't confided in you, he hasn't said anything to me, or his new brother and sister. If he does have feelings for Blair can you blame him for not acting on them?"

"What could be more natural than acting on your feelings for the person you're having a child with?"

"What if the baby turns out to be Nate's?"

"You know it's most likely Chuck's."

"Most likely, yes, but we don't know for sure" Lily said. "What if he has feelings for Blair, acts on them, and then finds out Nathaniel is the father? Don't push him to do anything he doesn't feel ready to do"

"I'll leave it be for now" Bart grudgingly agreed.

"So adorable…" Lily said with a smile.

"What is?"

"You." She put her magazine and her glasses on the nightstand and turned the light off before leaning over him with a smile on her face. "You're actually hoping you _will_ become a grandfather in August."

"Don't be ridiculous" Bart snorted. "Chuck is ten years too young to be a father."

"Yet you'd rather it were his child than Nate's."

"We've gone for this long thinking that the child is ours" Bart replied.

"Grandpa' Bart" Lily said teasingly. "I admit I look forward to seeing you wielding a bottle or changing a diaper. Finally a person you won't be able to negotiate with."

He grabbed a hold of her and rolled them over, kissing her to keep her quiet. He didn't look forward to becoming a grandfather. But he did hope the baby would turn out to be his grandchild. Chuck seemed to be getting attached and Bart would hate to see his son's reaction if the baby turned out to be Nate Archibald's.

* * *

"I hate July" Blair whined a week later as she waddled up the stairs in the evening. "It's a stupid, stupid month. I don't know why Caesar was so adamant of having the damn thing _named_ after him."

"Because he was born in July" Eric explained.

"It wasn't a question" Blair sulked.

They reached the top of the stairs and Eric hurried off towards his room, eager to get away from the grumpy pregnant girl. Blair stopped to catch her breath, hating the fact that it was so hot outside and that she was almost eight months pregnant. It was a combination that grew more annoying with each passing day.

"You look like you just climbed a mountain" Chuck's voice said. "It was only a flight of stairs. Should we install a lift for you?"

She glared at him and rubbed her aching back as best as she could with one hand.

"I walked those stairs carrying an extra twenty-five pounds."

He whistled.

"Gained that much?"

"I hate you" Blair moaned.

"And I really like you. With that sunny disposition of yours, how could I not?"

"You're not exactly helping, Bass."

"Well what can I do?" he snorted. "Change the weather? Doubt that it will work. Feed you whatever you're currently craving? You'd just yell at me for spilling."

She glared at him, wishing he could stop looking so carefree and attractive. He wasn't carrying extra weight, or dealing with any of the other physiological aspects of pregnancy. He was just breezing through his summer like always while she looked swollen and bloated and flushed. It was so unfair.

A sudden urge hit her. He did look good, _too_ good, and she was in need of some validation. She walked over to him, grabbed him by the collar and more or less pushed him inside her bedroom. He looked startled as she slammed the door shut behind them and placed her hands on her hips.

"Waldorf" Chuck said warily. "I was just teasing you. You look good, you know."

"Prove it."

"How?" he asked with a frown.

She locked the door behind her and walked past him, stopping by the bed which she nodded towards.

"I am sick and tired of feeling as attractive as a sea cucumber. Make me feel sexy."

"You're kidding" he laughed, thinking he would be on the receiving end of a slap if he so much as touched her.

The look on her face silenced his laugh. She looked unhappy and defeated, and he remembered that she had had an eating disorder in the past. She was seventeen years old, insecure about her appearance and now also very pregnant. He had meant no harm when he teased her, but now he just felt bad. He wanted to tell her that she looked gorgeous, better than any pregnant girl ever had before, but it felt like such a trite thing to say. So he walked up to her, grabbed her face between his palms and kissed her tenderly.

"You look amazing" he mumbled. "I would have sex with you in a heartbeat Blair. I'm just worried you're going to regret it in the morning."

"The first time I started sleeping with you I wound up pregnant" she said. "But I'm not sure I would say I regret it. I slept with you again a few months ago and I didn't regret that either. Why would I regret it now?"

He kissed her again, thoroughly confused. Was she implying that she had feelings for him? Was she just horny, or desperate for some closer contact? He wanted to ask her before they got down to anything serious, but he wasn't quite brave enough.

They got down on the bed and continued to kiss. After a few minutes Blair broke the kiss and looked at him seriously.

"This is a one-time thing" she said.

He nodded reluctantly.

"So we're clear" she added.

"I get it" he said.

She frowned.

"You seriously don't have better prospects right now?"

"A lot of girls who aren't pregnant…" he said. "But none who are hotter than you."

He kissed her again, more intensely this time. It was annoyingly hurtful to know she only wanted this for one night, but he would gladly take that bit of heartache in return for a night with her and making her feel better.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Bart walked out of his bedroom, fully dressed and ready to head off to an impromptu business meeting in Zurich. He had just closed the bedroom door when another door opened, and Chuck came walking out, dressed only in a pair of pants, his shirt flung over his arm. It was difficult to say who was more startled, father or son.

"Chuck" Bart said. "You… Where are you going?"

"To bed. Where are _you_ going?"

"Zurich."

"Oh…"

Chuck nodded awkwardly and then walked past Bart to get to his bedroom. Bart remained on the landing for a while, wondering what to make of the fact that his half-dressed son had come walking out of Blair's bedroom in the middle of the night.

* * *

I believe that was the longest chapter to date for this story. Hope it was enjoyable. Please review =)


	17. Chapter 17

I'm really ambivalent when it comes to this chapter. The first part I'm really happy with. It was actually the first bit I wrote for this story, minus the first two paragraphs in the first chapter, and I had a lot of fun with it. Unfortunately I am not so fond of the second half. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to but since I can't put my finger to what I don't like about it I decided to leave it as is.

Hope you'll enjoy the read!

* * *

"Thank God it's summer and nobody has to see me" Blair sulked, taking a sip from her slushie as she waddled down the street.

"Except everyone in the Hamptons and everyone who visits _Gossip Girl_" Serena said.

"Thank you S" Blair said dryly. "Makes me feel so much better. I meant that nobody has to see me at school, every day. All the staring, all the pointing, all the whispering… I'll never get my throne back. All I have is a Bass bastard, a bladder that can't hold it for more than five minutes at a time, and a memorial service to host for my waistline."

"But you will have a _baby_ in just a week or two" Serena gushed. "Who needs a throne when you can have a baby?"

"No" Blair said, vehemently shaking her head. "Who needs a baby at seventeen when you can have the world? Ugh, I can't wait for it to be born though. Parenthood can't be any worse than pregnancy. Why are so many women out there so impatient about getting into this not-so-blessed state?"

"You're actually looking forward to the birth?" Serena said. "My, my… I hadn't expected to hear that."

"Well, I do want to meet this person who has the audacity of thinking I should have to get bigger just because he or she does… I seriously can't wait for labor to start."

"For real? That's the scary part!"

"It can't be any worse than being stuck like this day after day" Blair said, gesturing towards her huge belly. "_Look at me_, S. I'm due in exactly seven days and I swear I will kill Bass if the baby ends up being overdue. I'm not so sure I can stand seven more days like this, especially in this _heat_. Never mind going overdue for weeks…"

"I really wish you could stay here in the Hamptons for a few more days…" Serena said.

"So do I, but I have that appointment today and after that I might as well stay in the city until this thing decides to be born. Besides, he or she might arrive ahead of schedule."

"What appointment?"

"Didn't I tell you? Oh the many joy's of pregnancy. I have to go in to suffer some further humiliation before the ultimate humiliation of giving birth."

"I'm… not sure I follow."

"The baby's breech. I must have told you that."

"Uhm, _no_, you haven't" Serena said. "Oh my God, are you serious?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Trust a child of Chuck's to come into the world backwards."

"What does this mean then?"

"It means that this afternoon they're going to try and turn it right. Hopefully they will succeed, and hopefully it won't just turn back around again, or I'll end up having to have a c-section."

"And that is bad?" Serena asked. "I'd take a c-section any day."

"I wouldn't!" Blair said. "Ew, surgical scars. They say c-sections are much more painful in the long run. Plus I want to be able to go home as soon as possible, not be stuck in some hospital bed while Chuck tries to beat me at Who-Bonds-First-With-Baby."

"Still, that seems like the preferable option to me…" Serena said, shuddering at the thought of a natural birth.

"Yeah, well, not to me, so wish me luck."

"Seriously Blair, I can barely handle menstrual cramps" Serena said. "How you can be so brave is beyond me."

"Don't be stupid S. I plan on having them give me the mother of all epidurals the moment I arrive at the hospital. No way I'm doing it without pain relief. Speaking of pain, we should get back, Chuck and I leave in thirty minutes."

"Oh?"

"I'm forcing Chuck to take me back to the city in his limo. I am _not_ getting on a jitney in this condition."

"I'm sure he's happy to take you" Serena said. "And to go with you to have the baby turned the right way around."

"Don't be naïve S" Blair said. "Chuck's not coming with me for that. He went with me for one examination and it was just awkward. So we made a deal that he stays away whenever I visit the doctor."

"That doesn't sound very unified" Serena said.

"I don't want him there, he doesn't want to be there, everyone is happy."

"But I thought you guys were coming together in this" Serena said. "I know you've been hanging out."

"Hanging out is one thing. Seeing a doctor about highly intimate matters is something else entirely."

"Yeah but he's already familiar with your 'intimate matters' as evident by the fact that you are in this condition to begin with."

Blair shot her a murderous look.

"Can we not keep mentioning the biggest error in judgment I have ever made?"

"Are you going to call it that when the baby can hear you too?"

"I'm not going to talk about it at all with the baby. Who wants to hear the details of how they were conceived?"

Serena nodded as Blair tried to get them a cab.

"God I'm sick of being pregnant" Blair moaned, tossing her empty slushie cup in a trash can. "I'm sweating like a pig and I have to pee again, for the third time since this morning. The amount of water I have to drink to stay hydrated is baffling, and then of course all that water means I swell up like a water balloon. I'm telling you Serena, I am going to marry someone filthy rich and have all my other babies by a surrogate. That is, if any man will ever want to sleep with me, now that I have stretch marks and my boobs will be somewhere around my knees. Not to mention _date_ me, now that I will have a kid."

"Aw B" Serena said with a little chuckle as they got in the car. "I'm sure you'll make some rich man very happy someday. And he will be thrilled to be a stepfather to your baby."

"Until he meets the biological father, at which point he will seriously question my judgment" Blair sighed.

"Chuck isn't so bad" Serena said.

"Then why don't you date him?"

"He's my stepbrother" Serena said. "But if he wasn't then maybe I would."

Blair stared at her, feeling a slight sting of jealousy.

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I didn't know you cared" Serena grinned.

"About Chuck per se? I don't" Blair insisted, a bit too feverishly. "But if you dated him you'd be like a stepmother to my baby, and since everyone loves you more than me anyway I would probably soon find myself the baby's _second_ favorite mommy."

"Aw Blair" Serena said with a smile. "I will never be able to compete with you. You're going to be that baby's whole world."

"Unfortunately, that will work both ways for a while" Blair sighed. "I guess I should stop saying I want labor to start, because as long as this kid is still inside of me I at least have _some_ ability to go where I want when I want, doing what I want. Once it's been born I'll be chained to him or her."

"But it will be a beautiful chain" Serena said.

"A golden chain is still a chain."

Serena made a face which managed to be both amused and disapproving at the same time. Blair laughed a little. She knew she was complaining a whole lot, and she was aware that she sounded kind of pathetic. She was just tired of feeling like she wasn't in control of her own body, and she wanted it all to herself again. Most of all she wanted her old figure back, though she knew it would be quite a while before that happened. But at least once the baby was born she wouldn't have to live with the gas, the constant need to use the bathroom, the indigestion, the kicking…

And, she would once again be able to step in and out of a vehicle without wondering if she would have to ask for help. When they reached the Hamptons house she was just barely able to get up on her feet and out of the cab. She had never thought a baby bump would make it so difficult to move like a normal person.

"God" she whined. "I am so _over_ this whole being pregnant thing. Remember when I was lean and agile?"

"No" Serena teased. "Poor B. Little Bridget is giving you a hard time."

"No, Bridget is out" Blair said, stopping to wince at the pain her back. "If it's even a girl we're dealing with here. It's probably a boy since it's being such a pain in the ass."

"Bridget's out?" Serena echoed. "Why?"

"I don't know. Chuck vetoed it but you'll have to ask him why. He seems partial to the name Julia so maybe we'll go with that. Or Julian for a boy."

"Julia's nice" Serena nodded. "Not sure about Julian though."

"Honestly at this point I would consider naming the kid Soapdish if in return the damn thing would be born already."

"Yeah, I get it, pregnancy is tough" Serena said, growing tired of the non-stop harping on the subject.

"Thank God I packed everything this morning and I don't have to get started with it now" Blair said, finally done rubbing the small of her back.

"Wait, you packed? How did I not notice this?"

"Because you were busy visiting Dan's facebook page to see if there was anything of interest on it?" Blair suggested as they walked into the house.

"There wasn't" Serena informed her, and chuckled. "I know B, I'm pathetic."

"The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey is mourning Dan Humphrey" Blair told her as she sat down on a wicker chair in the hallway.

A minute later Chuck came down the stairs followed by three servants carrying bags. Some were his and some were Blair's. He didn't look too excited to be leaving for New York and only gave Serena and Blair a quick nod before he walked out the door to his limo.

"It's too bad you guys are going to miss the white party" Serena said.

"It won't be the last great party I'll be missing" Blair sighed. "Though I can honestly tell you I don't mind so much with this one. It seems kind of lame."

"It does not."

"A party where everybody dresses in white? How very original" Blair said. "They must be going for irony, since nobody on the guest list is likely to be even remotely virginal."

"Well I intend to have the time of my life" Serena said. "No thoughts of Dan, no concerns for summer almost being over, just a nice party with some interesting people."

"All dressed like tablecloth."

Serena rolled her eyes but smiled good-naturedly. The front door opened and Chuck's bemused face became visible.

"Unless you plan on having the kid here, get that enormous ass in the limo" he said.

"Wow" Serena said. "Somebody's cranky. Don't tell me you were looking forward to going to the white party?"

Chuck didn't bother with an answer. He couldn't care less about the white party, but he did mind having to leave the Hamptons. Getting back to the city meant things were about to become very real. They were essentially heading back to wait for the baby to be born.

Serena helped Blair get back on her feet and then followed her outside. Chuck held the car door open for her and then got in, slamming the door shut in the middle of something Serena was saying. Blair didn't raise an eyebrow.

"You sure you didn't forget anything?" Chuck asked.

"If I did S can bring it later."

He nodded and told Arthur to get moving. They rode in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Blair leaned back looking out the window, and placed a hand on her swelling belly. She was feeling a bit sick, and most of all she felt tired. God she wished this pregnancy would just be over already. She had never imagined it would be this difficult back in January.

"Everything okay?" Chuck asked her.

"Yeah" Blair sighed. "I just wish this baby was on its way already. Can you crank up the air-conditioning in here Bass?"

He glanced down at her belly, which by his judgment ought to be containing triplets given the size of it, and did as she had asked. He wanted to tell her something encouraging, like tell her how good she still looked even sweaty and with a huge belly, but he had a feeling she wouldn't believe him.

"You'll have your wish soon" he said instead. "Not much longer now."

"Every minute is one too many" Blair whined.

"Really? Can I quote you on that when you're a couple of hours in to childbirth?"

She snorted and looked out the window. After a few minutes she suddenly sat up straight, startling Chuck who had begun to drift off.

"Oh God!" she cried.

"What?" Chuck asked nervously. "You're not having the baby_ now_, are you?"

"Chuck we haven't made any plans for how we're going to raise this baby!" Blair cried, with a slightly wild look in her eyes.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I can't believe we haven't talked about this. Nine months and not one conversation!"

"I don't know where you've been, but it seems like there's been a lot of talking about that" Chuck said, annoyed with her for having scared him needlessly.

"No, we don't have a _plan_. We're going to end up being as crappy as our own parents. Oh God, the baby's going to hate me."

"This is fun" Chuck said. "The baby's eating your brain. Blair why are you freaking out over this right now? I don't know if you recall this at the moment, but when babies are born they don't require more parenting than for someone to keep them fed, clothed, changed and warm. We can worry about the kid's curfew hours and how much the weekly allowance should be in five or six years."

She relaxed a bit but still looked troubled.

"But what if we turn into parents like our own?" she asked. "What if we're awful at this? They say you parent like your own parents did and if so we might as well throw in the towel and give the kid up for adoption later on today."

"If you're that worried about us handling this the way our parents did then why don't we just go over some of the things our parents did or did not do with us that we don't want to repeat with our child, and then help each other make sure not to do or not to do those things. That was a… confusing sentence."

"My dad left and moved to France" Blair said. "He was always the one who was at home in New York when I was little and now he's just left. Mother was always going back and forth to Paris, Milan… I know Bart has always been away a lot too. Let's try and not leave the child all the time, no matter how tempting it may be."

"Agreed" Chuck nodded. "If Bart has things his way we'll have the kid alternate weeks. Business trips can be conducted on the weeks when the other one has the kid. Anything else on your mind?"

Blair frowned for a moment.

"We never substitute affection with presents or money. I think we've both experienced how _not_ fun it can be to get some great present for your birthday or for Christmas as a substitute for one or both parents being there."

"In other words, affection should not be bought?"

"In other words, we never try to insult the baby by buying Alex things instead of spending time with him or her."

"Good suggestions so far" Chuck nodded.

"Well what about you? You must have some things that your dad has done that you've sworn you would never do to your own kids?"

"Actually I never gave any thought to having kids. I'm seventeen, Blair."

"Come on Chuck. There's nothing?"

"Well, one thing… I was mostly raised by au-pairs. And I can tell you first hand that it doesn't give you the most… stabile childhood. I don't want my children to feel like they've been pawned off on somebody else. Like their parents just don't have the time, and everything else is more important. I guess that would be my thing. That we promise each other that whenever the kid needs to be taken anywhere, or it's the first day of school, or an appointment at the dentists, one of us will take him or her there."

"I like that suggestion" Blair said softly.

"Good. See, we're already better parents than Bart, Eleanor and Harold."

Blair smiled softly. He couldn't help but smile back at her.

"What other things do we want to enforce?" Blair asked. "We should write this down. And sign it, like a proper contract."

"I think the reason my father likes you so much is because _you_ seem to have more of him in you than I do" Chuck remarked.

"At present I think I do" Blair said, pointedly rubbing her stomach.

"Gross, you make it sound like you're carrying my _sibling_" Chuck said, looking thoroughly disgusted, which was a look Blair hadn't even known him capable of.

"Bart likes me?" she asked, going back to his previous comment.

"What is it with you and my father these days? It's… creepy."

"Chuck I've been scared your father hates my guts for deciding to carry this baby to term" Blair said. "Seriously! There have been nightmares."

"You think he puts any of this on _you_? Bart thinks _I'm_ a horrible person for getting myself into this situation. He doesn't think of you in any negative terms."

"Good" Blair smiled.

"Next rule" Chuck said, dying to move the conversation away from his father. "Also under the theme of not buying affection. We agree to never try and outdo each other by buying amazing gifts and taking the kid on amazing trips and things like that. We're both competitive but I'm worried I'll end up having to buy a dog to win a gift competition."

"I can agree on that."

"Good."

"Something I want to add… Future partners."

"Future partners? You want to make rules for how to treat the kid's future dates?"

"Not Alex' future partners. _Ours_."

"Ours?"

"Yes, ours. Somewhere down the line you and I are going to date, and at least I intend on getting married someday."

"Goody" Chuck said, looking away.

"I'm a bit worried that you're going to bring home a playmate with huge silicone boobs and hardly any clothes on, sending the message to Alex that women should dress and behave that way."

"I don't like silicone breasts."

"Point being, before we introduce someone new to the baby and make that person a huge part of our child's life we should clear it with each other first."

"In other words you want us to get to veto each other's dating choices?" Chuck said. This idea he could get on board with.

"Not necessarily veto, but at least have a dialogue. My future husband is going to be a big part in this baby's-"

"Maybe you should wait until the baby's born before you go trolling for a husband" Chuck snapped.

"How dare you? I am doing no such thing. Don't tell me it comes as a shock to you to learn I plan on getting married someday."

Chuck snorted. Why did she always have to do this? Talk about how she was going to find someone else, love someone else and marry someone else? He didn't want to hear it. He had been so patient with her, so accommodating during these nine months. The least she could do was show him some level of courtesy. She must know by now that he cared about her more than as a friend. He had told her from the start that she gave him butterflies, and while he had later said he had assassinated said butterflies as ordered it must be clear by now that he still felt it. What was the point of blabbering about how she would find eternal happiness with someone else? Was she being deliberately cruel or was she just so very pregnant that at this point she wasn't thinking about what she was saying?

"Can we at least agree that we don't just drag people into the baby's life without consulting with each other first?" Blair asked.

"Whatever."

Blair sighed. What was he sulking about this time? It didn't take much to set off her irritation and right now she was royally tired of him.

Chuck glanced over at her for a second. This whole thing was getting highly tiresome. He needed to grow a backbone and stop letting her treat him like a doormat. He did favors for her all the time, both emotional, logistical and sexual and he felt like he was getting nothing in return. Perhaps she was just confused. He couldn't begin to imagine all the things she were dealing with regarding her body right now. But at some point he had to draw the line. He had done so back in New York in June, but that hadn't lasted very long, had it?

Blair paid no more attention to him. She had a feeling she was about to lose her temper and didn't want to give him the satisfaction of having seen her act like a hormone addled pregnant woman, even though she was one. Instead she focused on something else that had struck her mind. She and Chuck had reached some important conclusions regarding how they would parent this child, but the child might be Nate's. She need to have a similar talk with him as soon as possible.

She grabbed her bag and fished out her phone, writing a quick text to Nate.

"_We need 2 talk. Due date approaching._"

Nate replied in less than two minutes.

"_Will U be at the party 2nite?_"

"_Negative_" she wrote back. "_Heading back 2 the city._"

"_Call U l8ter_?"

"_Tomorrow._"

"Let me guess," Chuck said, "you're texting Dorota to make sure she has a bunch of stepfather candidates lined up for you when you return."

"No, just Nate" Blair said absentmindedly.

"Nate? What are you doing texting Nate, I thought he made it clear he was not interested in playing house."

"None of your business Bass."

"Just so we're clear on this, Nate is one person I _will_ veto as the kid's stepfather" Chuck said sternly.

"You're forgetting something."

"And what is that?"

"The fact that you might need to erase '_step_' from the definition of Nate's role in the child's life."

"Really? Well I don't see you forcing dear old Nate to drive you back to the city, nor do I see you sitting down with him to talk about how the baby should be raised."

"Actually that is exactly what I was just texting him about" she replied. "We're talking it over tomorrow."

"You go ahead and you do that" Chuck said icily. "In fact, why don't we let Nate tap in and pretend to be the father from now on? I am done being your bitch boy, caving to your cravings and urges and having my life rearranged whenever it fits your schedule. From now on I am out, until we know for sure that bastard child has my blood in its veins."

"Fine" Blair said with a tremble, tears burning in her eyes. "I knew you wouldn't be dependable to the end."

Chuck leaned forward and lowered his voice to practically a whisper.

"Why should I be? What am I getting in return? You certainly show no gratitude and I am _not_ your boyfriend. I think I've done incredibly much considering that you might be carrying around my former best friend's bastard. What more do you consider yourself entitled to ask from me?"

"Just forget it" Blair said.

"I wish I could."

He leaned back and glared out the window, pretending not to notice that Blair was wiping tears from her cheeks.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please review =) I'm aiming to update before the weekend.


	18. Chapter 18

Update time again!

A lot of people weren't too happy with Blair last chapter. Yeah she is being kind of a bitch… but she's nine months pregnant, so I'd cut her some slack ;) Thanks to all who reviewed, whether they were positive or negative.

* * *

Bart walked in to the penthouse and found Chuck lying on the couch reading a magazine. Chuck hadn't contacted him at all while he and Lily had been away which meant no baby had arrived yet. Bart fished out his phone and checked the date before greeting his son.

"It's two days past Blair's due date" he said.

"Well hello to you too" Chuck replied without looking up from his magazine.

"That baby will come any day now. How is Blair doing?"

"Fine" Chuck said with an indifferent shrug.

"When was the last time you spoke with her?"

"About a week ago."

"She was supposed to have your baby two days ago and you haven't spoken to her?" Bart said, unable to comprehend his son's indifference.

Chuck looked up. The tone in Bart's voice was clearly disapproving.

"I'm going to go ahead and assume that since she hasn't called the bun is still in the oven" he said.

"You're going to be a parent any day now" Bart said firmly. "This is how you show your sense of responsibility? By not even checking up on the mother?"

With a sigh Chuck got his phone from his pocket and dialed Blair's number.

"Hey B" he said when she answered. "You in labor yet?"

"No" she snorted.

"Great. Talk to you later."

He hung up and gave Bart a look like 'there you go'.

"This is not a game" Bart said, more annoyed by the second. "I will not allow you to flake out on this girl. You have to take this seriously."

"May I remind you that we're not one hundred percent sure it's even my kid?" Chuck said, slightly annoyed.

"May I remind you that in all likelihood it is? I don't like your attitude."

"Would you relax already?"

"Your friend might be giving birth to your baby at any given moment yet you're acting like you've got no care in the world."

"I paid Dorota to call me when the kid is born" Chuck said and returned to his magazine.

"If that's your idea of being responsible then I am thoroughly disappointed" Bart said. "You can't just pretend nothing is going on and then step in once the child has been born. You got that girl pregnant; I expect you to be there for her when it's born."

"She doesn't want me there for that" Chuck said, annoyed that he didn't get to read in peace. "I already offered but thankfully she told me to stay the hell away. I'm betting she doesn't want anyone to see her screaming, crying and defecating. Besides, who are you to talk? You weren't there when I was born."

Bart raised an eyebrow. Chuck looked up and guessed the silent question.

"Uncle Jack told me."

"Uncle Jack talks a lot of crap."

Chuck shrugged again and in a demonstrative fashion lifted up his magazine to continue to read. Bart realized he wouldn't get any further with him on this subject at the moment, and left the room while mumbling something Chuck couldn't make out, but the tone didn't suggest it to be praise.

Chuck snorted. Who the hell was Bart to get all high and mighty and talk about the responsibilities of a parent? Every time his father went off on one of his moral lectures about parenthood Chuck felt like he was going to be sick. His father was the last person in the world who should be lecturing anyone about what you needed to do as a parent. It's not like Bart had cared much when he became a father.

If it was one thing Chuck hated it was hypocrisy, and Bart was full of it these days. It seemed like nothing Chuck did was good enough either. He had gone with Blair to the parenting classes, he had done every favor she had asked him to do, he had taken the hit of the news with her. What else did Bart want him to do? Carry the baby for her, like some modern version of Zeus and Athena?

He tried to focus on his magazine but all he could think about was how annoyed he was with his father. At this point he actually hoped the baby was Nate's. At least then Bart would shut up and leave him alone. Or maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he would instead start going off on lectures on how all this drama could have been avoided if Chuck had stayed out of Blair and Nate's love lives and above all kept his pants on.

It bugged him to acknowledge that Bart still had a point. He really ought to keep more in touch with Blair. He had only spoken to her once since they had gotten back to the city. But it wasn't because he didn't care, or even because of the fight they had had when they last saw each other. On one hand it was because he figured she needed some time to herself right now and didn't want to bother her. On the other hand it was because he preferred not knowing what she was up to. The closer she had gotten to her expected due date the tighter the knot in Chuck's stomach had gotten. Now that she was two days _past_ her due date he was practically freaking out, although he made sure nobody could tell. He was afraid of talking to her or going to see her and having her labor begin in the middle of it. He preferred not knowing when it was happening until Blair herself felt it was time to tell him.

He hadn't voiced that thought to anyone, least of all Blair, though he had a feeling she already knew. She had scoffed something in the limo on the way back to the city about how it was so easy for the guy who could choose to stick his head in the sand and not know anything about what really went on, while the girl couldn't run away no matter how much she wanted to. But he wasn't freaking out for no good reason, and if she knew how freaked out he was then she also knew the reason why. He had always been haunted by the knowledge that his mother had died such a painful death, and it freaked him out beyond words to know that what Blair was about to suffer through might _kill_ her.

If things had been different, and she had been his girlfriend or his wife, then he would have taken a deep breath, braced himself, bit down hard and endured the experience with her. But she wasn't his wife, or his girlfriend. She was his friend, and she had specifically told him she didn't want him to be there. Bart could say whatever he wanted, Chuck didn't feel like he was bailing on her when he was absent by her request.

He tossed his magazine aside, knowing he wouldn't be able to concentrate on it. Thanks to his father his mind was now completely on Blair, and at the moment he didn't feel comforted by the fact that he didn't know what she was up to. Right now _not_ knowing whether or not she was in labor felt more uneasy than anything else. He had spoken to her only moments ago, at which point she hadn't been in the process of giving birth to a baby, but naturally Bart had to open his mouth and remind him that labor could start at any second. Including the second after Blair had hung up the phone.

He grabbed his phone and called his masseuse to see if she had any openings in her calendar. A nice shiatsu might be just what he needed to take his mind off of things. He was fairly certain that if he kept thinking about Blair right now he would go slightly crazy.

* * *

Blair waddled into the kitchen and sat down by the table. Dorota hurried over with a glass of juice and a sandwich. Eleanor looked up from her newspaper and studied her daughter silently. Blair looked sullen and pretty haggard.

"Mother?" she asked. "Did you go long overdue with me?"

"You've always been punctual, dear" Eleanor said. "I went into labor the day before you were expected and as you know you were born half an hour into the new day."

"Then why is this kid so tardy?" Blair sulked.

Her mother didn't reply. Blair drank her juice in silence and thanked the heavenly powers that someone had thought to invent air conditioning. She would like to continue griping about how overdue she was, but decided against it. She knew she wasn't the only one eagerly awaiting the baby's birth. Eleanor had flown in from Paris to be there for the birth and probably wanted to get back to work, but stayed at home with her daughter in case the baby decided to come. Blair was incredibly thankful to have her mother there. The thought of going through labor without her scared her a bit. Eleanor may not have been the most devoted mother, but she was still Blair's mom, and she wanted her there for the biggest challenge of her life.

The baby kicked furiously and Blair made a face. She had gotten so used to the kicking by now that it almost felt weird that she wouldn't be feeling it again soon. She finished her juice and her sandwich and rose to leave the table. She didn't feel up to doing anything in particular. She just wanted to go lie down and relax. Her room was filled with things for the unborn baby, everything from a cradle to stuffed animals and baby clothes. Serena had wanted to throw her a baby shower but Blair had declined. She wasn't sure anybody their age would want to come, and the thought of being the center of attention at such an event while everyone around her looked down on her and thanked their lucky stars that _they_ weren't the ones pregnant made her depressed. The whole point of being at the center of attention was to feel special in a good way, not to feel like people were pitying you or pointing and staring.

She made it back up to her room and lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She could read a book or watch a movie but she didn't feel up for it. The baby was sucking all the energy out of her. She glanced over at her laptop, pondering the idea of going online to read up on ways to get labor started, but the laptop was on her writing desk and it felt like it might as well be on the other side of the Grand Canyon.

On her expected due date she had had some Braxton hicks contractions, but that was by now a week ago and she hadn't felt anything since then, to the point where she was now wondering if she had only imagined it before. She was more than ready to get this show on the road already, suspecting that the last weeks of pregnancy were such hell in order to make the mother _long_ for the birth rather than worry about it.

She was worried though. Petrified actually. Not about the birth but about what followed it. She felt like she couldn't relax in her bedroom anymore, deeply wishing she had decorated a nursery after all. There were baby paraphernalia everywhere and it scared her out of her senses. So long as the baby was still inside of her she at least couldn't screw things up too badly. Once it was born her whole life would be a chaotic mess.

Blair was beginning to lose count of the number of nights she had cried herself to sleep this past month. She wasn't ready for this. She didn't want to be a mother. She wanted to be out shopping with Serena, having a summer fling, preparing for a party, preparing for the final year of high school. Instead she could barely move anymore and her bedroom looked like a fancy nursery catalogue had vomited all over it. When senior year started she would be standing on the sidelines, watching her classmates enjoy their final year, preparing for going off to college and for high school graduation. What if she wasn't able to keep up with her class and keep her straight As? What if she didn't get into Yale, or she had to wait a year to graduate? The thought of attending Serena's, Nate's and Chuck's high school graduation as a _guest_ made her start to cry again.

She wasn't ready. She wasn't excited. You were supposed to be both when nine months pregnant. When she had been in for her last checkup she had seen several other women who all sported serene, blissful smiles, clearly enjoying this more than they ever had anything before. Most of them were flanked by doting, attentive husbands or boyfriends. One had tried to chat with Blair in the waiting room, eager to discuss all the plans and preparations she had made for her child, which wasn't even due for another three months. Blair had had very little to say. Sure, _materially_ she was fully prepared. Her baby would want for nothing in terms of bibs, cradles, toys and so forth. What the heck did that have to do with actually being prepared for the baby to become part of your life?

When she was younger Blair had often imagined what it would be like when she was pregnant with her first child. These fantasies had always included a loving, doting, adorably overly-concerned Nate who always walked right beside her with one hand around her back and the other resting on her stomach. The reality, Chuck Bass going to parenting classes with her and giving her a good go-around in bed on a couple of occasions, did not exactly have that rose-tinted narrative she wanted.

Her tears subsided a bit and she rolled over to lay on her side. She reminded herself that the ship had not yet sailed on that beautiful future with Nate. Ever since she had gotten back home to the city she had been thinking about it, over and over again, how much she wanted that perfect picture to become reality. She and Nate together, raising their beautiful baby like she had always imagined.

If Nate was the father then surely he would forgive her for everything. How could he not, after she had brought life to his darling daughter or lovely son? She stopped crying all together and smiled widely, picturing it, how Nate would look at his child and fall instantly in love and in the process remember his love for Blair. They would get back together, and he would be loving and doting, eager to make up for lost time. Together they would watch their little child grow from a baby to a toddler, teaching him or her everything a child needed to learn. She could see them walking with the baby in the park, sitting under the Christmas tree together at the baby's first Christmas, and posing for wonderful family portraits together. This future could still become reality.

So long as the baby didn't betray her by entering the world full of Chuck Bass' DNA. If the paternity she had grudgingly accepted back in January turned out to be the correct one then she could forget all about her old fantasies. Posing for family portraits with Chuck and a baby? Goodness, no. Sitting under the Christmas tree with him and the baby? Please, Chuck probably didn't even celebrate Christmas on direct orders from God who surely didn't like to have his son's birthday celebration include the likes of Chuck Bass. And going for walks in the park? Chuck barely walked anywhere if he could avoid it, and she was pretty sure he only set foot in the park when he was forced to.

If the baby was Nate's, all her dreams could still come true. If the baby was Chuck's she would have to make whole new ones. She had known that all along, and for a while she hadn't thought that to be so bad. Now it seemed horrible. Everything was so uncertain and she had no control over anything. She couldn't even control how long her body would carry this baby before beginning the process of giving birth, which was insane if you thought about it. It was _her_ body that was going to do it. She _should_ be able to be in control of when it happened. There was no way she would buy that the baby was any less ready to be born right now than it would be the moment it came.

Everything was uncertain and beyond her control. With Nate as the father then at least she would have years and years of fantasies to lean back on. With Chuck as the father she would have nothing. On some level she knew she wasn't being rational, and that even if the baby was Nate's and even if he fell instantly in love her fantasies were still just fantasies. From that perspective it was actually _safer_ if Chuck was the father. At least that way her fantasies would not be shattered by the reality of how Nate would act in such a situation.

"Alex, Alex…" Blair said with a scolding sigh, caressing her stomach. "Please hurry up and be born already. The one thing I hate more than the thought of how chaotic things will be when you arrive is not knowing who your daddy is. Once you're born and we know _whose_ you are then things will at least be a little less uncertain. I want to know whether you are a boy or a girl and I want to know what your name will be. So please do me a favor and have your birthday be today or tomorrow? I've carried you around for nine months, you freaking owe me."

Struck by a sudden idea she got up from her bed and walked over to the writing-desk. She grabbed a stack of post-it notes and began to write on them, placing them all over the desktop cover. She was only glad to not be able to see that thing right now. It had been a birthday present from Serena last year. Serena had taken a picture of Blair where she looked particularly cheerful and spirited and had it printed up as a desktop cover. Blair had loved it then but not so much now. She was far from being that cheerful, carefree and energetic now.

She kept writing on the post-its for quite a while. Once she was done she rose and observed her new masterpiece, quite pleased with what she saw. Each post-it had written on it a problem in her life, an unanswered question or anything else that felt like an obstacle right now. As soon as something had been answered or solved or in some other way ceased to be an obstacle she would remove that post-it from the desktop. By and by that image of herself at a much happier time would start to reappear, and hopefully she would feel like that girl again once the last note had been removed.

"Mommy has a plan" Blair said. "And just so you know, little baby… You being born is on one of these post-its. Followed by finding out your gender, settling for a theme for a nursery, deciding what your name should be and finding out whose baby you actually are."

She studied the large collection of post-its solemnly.

Get accepted into Yale. Find a way to make things work with Nate, romantically or platonically. Reclaim her throne. Make breastfeeding work. Wean the baby. Fit into couture again. Get that convertible for her twentieth birthday. Go to a black-tie event. Go to a party. Have a glass of champagne, her favorite vintage.

One note simply had the letter C written on it. She hadn't been able to determine what she wanted it to say. The important thing was what it meant, and if that meaning changed then so what? She had a feeling that when the moment came when the C would be what she needed it to be, she would know it. Until then she didn't want anyone, not even Dorota, to know that she had unresolved feelings for Chuck.

Chuck's name was on a couple of other post-its, but none of them mentioned her own personal feelings for him. They were about what would happen if Chuck was not the father. Resolve financial issues with Bart. Negotiate a change in the custodial contract Bart had had drawn up, so that it had Nate's name on it instead of Chuck's. Keeping her friendship with Chuck even if he was no longer the father.

Blair sat back down, one hand on her stomach. It began to dawn on her that if Nate was the father she might lose Chuck. He wouldn't want to be around to see her have a happily family life with Nate. She knew how much that would hurt him to have to watch. Was she prepared to lose Chuck's friendship? Could she actually handle losing that? Chuck had been there all her life almost, and her life would not be the same without him in it. In a way it would be a more drastic change to lose him than it had been to lose Nate. Nate had always been her boyfriend, and even though she had had her fairytale in her mind she had always known that relationships can fail. Friendships were another matter. They could die too, but even though love could end Blair had never really believed friendship could. If Chuck withdrew from her life it would be a change almost as big as when Serena left for boarding school.

* * *

Chuck had never understood people who stopped to stare at the scene of an accident. He didn't get the inner workings of it. Who wanted to stand around and watch something that unsettling? For the same reason he had never been a fan of horror movies, or understood why anyone would be. But right now he was beginning to understand how people could subject themselves to things they found that disconcerting.

He kept glancing over at the book next to him on the bed, trying not to look in it. Bart had been in to his room an hour earlier and unceremoniously dumped it in his lap, ordering him to study up again like a good little boy before an exam. Only the exam in question was a lifelong responsibility. Bart had even been so kind as to place a bookmark on the chapter he felt his son should start on.

The book was about child development stages, starting with conception and ending at the age of six. Included was a detailed chapter on childbirth, which was the chapter Bart had deemed perfect reading material for the evening. Chuck did so not see the point. He wasn't going to be present for the birth, as per Blair's desires, so what point was there to him knowing all about what was going to happen?

Still his eyes kept drifting back towards that stupid book. It scared the living crap out of him, yet for some twisted reason he needed to know. So he grabbed the book, placed it in his lap and took a deep breath. For almost five full minutes he just sat there like an idiot, before finally opening the book on the page that had the bookmark.

Quickly he regretted it. Without even reading the text he regretted it. There was a not-so-nifty series of sketches showing a woman delivering a baby, in cross-section. For some reason the artist had drawn the baby _smiling_, which just creeped Chuck out. Especially since it _wasn't_ smiling while still inside the womb. Somehow Chuck doubted babies thought it was a super fun experience to be born and it just looked sick to him. He felt nausea rise in his throat and quickly turned the page, trying to keep himself from freaking out, hoping that the next page would focus on immediately _after_ the birth. _That_ part he could handle.

He nearly crawled out of his skin when the next page became visible. It did not deal with the baby's first experiences after birth. Instead it had a large picture of an actual birth in close-up, with a crowning head. With a disgusted yelp Chuck slammed the book shut and wondered why they didn't simply show teenagers _that_ in school. He was fairly certain he would never, ever have sex again having seen that. What was wrong with his father, really? Bart must have eyed through this before putting that bookmark there. Clearly Bart Bass was a sick, disturbed man who enjoyed traumatizing his only child.

Instinctively he reached for his phone and began to dial Blair's number, feeling an overwhelming need to _insist_ that she have a c-section. He was vaguely aware that they didn't usually let the parents decide on whether or not the baby should be delivered that way, but he was Chuck freaking Bass and that had to carry some weight. But before getting half the digits in her phone number in he remembered that she had very firmly declared that she did not want a c-section. In fact, she had called him up, super relieved, when they had been able to turn the baby around in the womb. Perhaps he should scan the pictures in this book and send them to her, as a manner of persuasion?

Feeling miserable he put his phone away and then grabbed the book. He got up, opened his closet and threw the book in there. Out of sight, out of mind. But he couldn't shake the unsettling feeling, nor could he get rid of the images he had seen in that book. Whenever he closed his eyes he could see them. He wished with a passion that he had never been so stupid as to lose his virginity to begin with. Everything would have been so much easier.

The worst part was that he had no one to talk to about this. He was freaking out way worse than Blair seemed to be, and she was the one who had to actually go through it. Talking to her about his panic and fear would only make things worse since he might make _her_ just as scared as he was. Not good.

Normally he would have turned to Nate. For most of his life he had been best friends with Nate, and Nate had often been a good listener, even if he didn't always have a lot of advice to offer. Chuck had often talked to him about issues with his father, and even occasionally about his mother. He deeply wished he could talk to Nate about this too. Or at the very least, just _talk_ to Nate. Having someone his own age to chat with, about anything at all other than crowning babies, was worth most of his inheritance at this point. But he couldn't talk to Nate. _Especially_ not about this. This was the issue his best friend hated him over.

Serena was also out of the question. She would only lecture him about how things were worse for Blair, or cut him off to whine about her newly kindled relationship with Brooklyn's not-finest. Eric would probably listen, but it felt too weird to sit down with a fifteen year-old and talk about _this_ particular subject. Chuck himself was far too young to be even thinking about it.

That left him with… precisely no one. He had nobody to talk to about this issue. Groaning at the realization of how alone he was Chuck got up from his bed and walked out to get something strong to drink. Lord knows he needed it.

He grabbed a tumbler and a bottle of scotch, filling the tumbler almost to the brim. Could this hellish part of his life just be over already? Could he hit fast-forward and arrive in January, when the kid would have been born, paternity would be known and the horror known as Christmas would be over? That sounded quite nice. Maybe if he drank enough he would end up in a coma for a few months. He liked the sound of that.

"I don't mean to sound too much like a nagging mother seeing as how I am only your _step_mother," Lily's voice said behind him, "but perhaps you should have something else to drink right before bed. Something with less alcohol?"

He turned around and saw his stepmother, who for some reason had a warm smile on her face even though she appeared to be disapproving. He raise the tumbler as if to say '_cheers_' and took a deep gulp.

"If that's the way you want it to be then the least you could do is share" she said, grabbing a tumbler and pouring herself a drink roughly one fifth of the size Chuck's was.

"Let me guess…" Chuck said. "Bart sent you to give me another lectures on the importance of supporting a woman when she's about to pop out your offspring. This time making sure the lecture is the From A Mother's Perspective edition."

"Your father is busy working, I've barely spoken two words with him since we got in" Lily said. "What's on your mind, Charles? You don't usually take nightcaps this big."

"Nothing's on my mind."

"Well, cheers then."

"Aren't you supposed to be discouraging the drinking?" Chuck asked as she took a sip. "I'm getting mixed signals."

"I don't think I can tell you what you can and cannot do" Lily replied. "You're not a small child like you were when I first got to know you. You're becoming a man, and you're becoming a father. But if you want advice or someone to talk to I would be more than happy to lend an ear."

"Human beings must be the stupidest creatures on the planet" Chuck said, walking over to the couch and throwing himself down on it, somehow without spilling a drop. "I mean, there's something wrong with our psyches. Or at least with you women."

"That's an admirable effort, but I know you're not a misogynist" Lily said, taking a seat next to him.

"I just don't get it" Chuck went on. "Why are women so fond of their babies? You people have a mental illness of some sort. Think about what babies do to their mothers. They make them sick, possess their bodies, screw with their emotions and their minds. Then when they're born… I don't think I need to go into detail on what babies do to their mothers when they're born. If a grown person would do that to a woman their ass would be hauled off to jail."

"I never thought of it that way before."

"It's twisted in every way possible" Chuck said, taking a deep gulp from his tumbler. "Any sane human being would hate the living crap out of someone who put them through all of that. The fact that you people _love_ these beings clearly signifies that you're not all there. Although, it does explain why some women fall in love with serial killers and rapists."

"You're really scared for her, aren't you?" Lily said.

"What gave you that idea?" Chuck said, trying to sound casual.

"It's only natural to feel that way" Lily said. "Most people do. Especially young people who aren't given enough credit for the effort their making and only feel like they're doing everything wrong."

"Doesn't sound familiar."

"Especially boys whose own mothers died during childbirth."

"I plead the fifth."

"Your father told me about when you were born" Lily said softly, putting her tumbler down on the table.

"Look, that was seventeen years ago and has nothing to do with what is going on in my life right now" Chuck tried to argue. "Besides, what could you possibly know about what _really_ happened if you weren't there, or know about what I'm currently feeling?"

"What I'm trying to get to is that I know you must be terrified. If you want to talk about it then why not talk to me? I am a mother myself, and I had children at a young age."

"You were in your twenties when Serena was born" Chuck said. "What do you know about becoming a parent when you're still a teen?"

"Oh, more than you think" Lily said, grabbing the tumbler again to take a much needed sip.

"Really?" Chuck questioned. "Somehow I doubt that."

"So how _do_ you feel about all this? Would you like to be there when Blair gives birth?"

"I'd rather not be in the state of New York" Chuck admitted, the truth slipping out before he could stop it.

"Does _she_ want you there?"

"I think she wants me in a different state also."

"She's going to get through it just fine" Lily assured him. "She's young and she's strong and healthy-"

"So was my mother" Chuck cut her off.

"You will be surprised at how well women can do after having a baby. When you arrive to see your baby Blair might already be up walking."

"What if it's not my baby?" Chuck asked after hesitating for a second. "What if it's Nate's? What if everything we've worked towards this year, all the steps we've taken forward, what if all of that just… stops? A lot of things could end when that child is born."

"Childbirth is the beginning of something, not the end" Lily said softly. "If Nate is the child's father then I'm not going to lie, it's probably going to be tough. At the same time, you won't be a teenage parent. Your life can go on as if nothing happened."

"My life… but not Blair's. I know it sounds crazy but I would so much rather it were me who had to move in this new direction with her than have it be Nate."

"What more proof do you need that you have matured enough to be able to handle parenthood?" Lily asked.

Chuck frowned. He wasn't worried about parenthood. He hadn't grasped that part yet. All his focus was on the birth of the baby. He could deal with the rest later.

"Listen Charles…" Lily said, sensing where his mind was at. "Blair will be delivering at the finest hospital on this island, with the best staff and a very low maternal mortality rate. Furthermore they have quite efficient ways of reducing or relieving pain during childbirth nowadays. She might go through the whole thing without feeling more than the first couple of contractions. She will be fine."

"Small comfort" Chuck muttered.

"I can tell you something else. Even if she has a completely horrendous delivery, that goes on for days-"

"If this is your idea of helping then no wonder Serena and Eric-"

"Just listen" Lily cut him off gently. "What I'm trying to tell you is that no matter what the pain, the moment Blair sees her child she will forget all of it."

"You're saying amnesia is the reason for the species' survival?"

"If that is your child then a day will come when you will understand what I am trying to tell you" Lily said, rising from her seat. "Now I think it's time for us both to head off to bed. Try not to worry so much about it Charles. You can't stop what's about to happen."

"I know, and that's part of what scares me."

"Blair is lucky to have someone who cares so much about her."

"I don't _care_ about Blair" Chuck sputtered. "Not that way."

Lily raised an eyebrow. Clearly she didn't believe him. He watched her go and emptied the contents of his tumbler. Who was he trying to kid? He more than just cared about Blair.

Suddenly he felt very nervous. He thought back on the phone call he had made earlier in the day, and to the last time he had seen her in person. What if she did die at childbirth? His last conversations with her would have been terrible.

He darted up to his feet and marched back to his bedroom where he had left his phone. In his semi-drunken state he failed to notice that it was almost midnight, but he probably wouldn't have cared even if he was fully aware of the time.

"Hello?" Blair's sleepy voice mumbled after twelve rings. "Bass?"

"Hi Blair."

"Something the matter?"

"Nothing, just… Everything okay with you?"

"I was sleeping" she said grumpily. "Do you know how difficult it is for me to fall asleep these days? And my phone was on the other end of the room."

"Sorry. I just…"

He trailed off. What did he want to tell her? What did he want to say, if this was to be their last conversation?

"You just what?" Blair yawned.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep. I just wanted to let you know that I… I'm thinking about you. And the baby. Even if I haven't been keeping in touch since we got back."

"Scared I'll bite the dust when Alex is born?" Blair guessed.

"Just calling to check in" he said simply.

"If the baby turns out to be a boy I want to name him Frederick" Blair said, more or less out of the blue.

"I thought we agreed to meet him before we name him."

"Seriously, I like the name Frederick."

"Perhaps… Hope… for a girl?" he suggested, wincing as he wondered if she would mock him for that idea. He happened to like the name and as cheesy as it was it seemed appropriate given the situation.

"Fine, if you hate Frederick so much then what do you think of Elijah?"

"I think we'll know when we see him. Go back to sleep."

"Okay. Goodnight Bass. In the future, try not to call in the middle of the night, okay?"

"I'll keep it in mind."

He hung up and threw himself down on the bed, face-first. The combination of alcohol, the late hour and all the things he was worrying about had made him exhausted. It wasn't long before he was asleep, dreaming a parade of unsettling things. His mother, a dying Blair, Nate being the proud father, Chuck himself being the father and having no idea what to do in that situation. He kept looking for his dad in the dreams but Bart was never anywhere to be found.

* * *

Hopefully Blair's draw towards Nate is making a little more sense after this chapter... If not, then better luck to me next time lol.

Thanks for reading! Please review =)


	19. Chapter 19

A lot of people commented on the last chapter, some feeling Blair's reasoning made sense, others not liking it so much. And I have a feeling this chapter will also get both positive and negative reactions. Whether or not you like the chapter, your comments are always appreciated =)

* * *

Blair groaned and closed her eyes hard, having a firm grip of her mother's hands as she tried to push with all her might. She had been doing this for a while now, but she had no idea how long. Everything felt like an eternity, but at least they hadn't suffered from the blackout due to the hospital's backup power system.

Dorota stood next to her and tried to wipe the sweat from her forehead. Blair was standing on her knees on the bed, having yelled something not so ladylike to the doctor when he had wanted her to push the baby out lying flat on her back. That position might be better for him but it sure as hell wasn't for her.

"Miss Blair…" Dorota said when Blair stopped to catch her breath. "We should call baby's father. Baby will come before he gets here."

"No not yet" Blair said, terrified of the thought of an anxious teenage boy showing up as quick as possible and walking in while she was still delivering. "Wait."

"Dorota's right" Eleanor said. "He should be contacted. Once this baby is out there will be much more involvement from him."

Blair took a deep breath and pushed again, trying as best as she could not to scream but not being entirely successful. Then she opened her eyes and looked at Dorota, who seemed unsure of what to do.

"Call Nate" Blair said.

"I should call Mister Chuck" Dorota objected.

"No" Blair said. "Call Nate first."

Dorota didn't bother to argue. She handed the hankie she was wiping Blair's forehead with to one of the nurses and walked out to make two phone calls.

* * *

Chuck fought hard to keep his cool when he walked into the hospital. Once Dorota had called him he had promptly left the party he had been at and hurried over to the hospital. Thankfully he had only had one drink, having only gone to the party in the first place to get some distraction from his thoughts, and by the time he got there he felt completely sober.

He wondered how Blair was doing. The knowledge that she was giving birth when Dorota called made him want to crawl out of his skin. It was such a scary process, one he saw nothing wondrous about at all, and he didn't even want to think about how much pain she was in or if, God forbid, she would end up like his mother. What made it even more unsettling was not knowing if she had delivered by now or not. Dorota hadn't exactly been able to text him with updates every five minutes.

He walked into the maternity ward and stopped in his tracks. Nate was there, sitting in one of the chairs, looking around with curious and slightly nervous eyes. Why the hell was he there? Chuck hadn't seen Nate since July and this was the last place he had expected them to run into each other.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he walked over to take a seat at a good enough distance from his former best friend.

"Possibly having a baby" Nate said, giving him a challenging look. "Dorota called me. I came right over."

Chuck snorted.

"The baby's not yours."

"We don't know that for sure. If it is mine then I think I should be here."

"You weren't so keen on being there for all the other stuff these past nine months" Chuck pointed out dryly.

"Well since you were so hell-bent on playing family with the girl _I_ was supposed to be with, I figured I'd let you."

"How noble of you. Face it Nathaniel, if there has been any doubt in your mind as to who the father is then you have no excuse for not doing your fair share during the pregnancy. You didn't care then so why show up now?"

"Blair wants me here."

That shut Chuck up. He had nothing to say to that, or to the triumphant look in Nate's eyes. He took a seat and shot his former friend a death glare.

He nearly crawled out of his skin when he heard the faint sounds of a woman screaming. It was barely audible, most likely the waiting room was at a good enough distance from the birthing women so that they wouldn't be overheard, but it had still been a scream. And he hadn't been able to make out if it was Blair's or not. He just wanted to know whether or not it was over yet, and hear how she was doing.

"Did you get caught in the blackout" Nate suddenly asked.

Chuck looked at him, dumbfounded. They were in a waiting room while a girl they both cared deeply about was giving birth to a child which might have been fathered by either one of them, and Nate wanted to make small talk? About the blackout earlier that night?

"I was at a party" Chuck said. "Obviously I made it out alive."

He didn't ask anything back and Nate kept quiet. Chuck wished he could just go away. He was the last person Chuck wanted to be with right now. And how could Nate seem so damn calm? Chuck was fidgeting in his chair, unable to take his mind off of Blair and what she might be going through right this second.

Finally Dorota came hurrying into the waiting room, looking tired and sweaty but beaming. Nate and Chuck both sat up straight as if they had each swallowed a pitchfork.

"Baby has arrived!" Dorota exclaimed.

"Is Blair okay?" Chuck asked.

"Is the baby alright?" Nate added.

"Miss Blair tired, but happy mama" Dorota said. "Mister Chuck, you can see her now. She said you should come first."

Chuck stood up and forgot Nate was even there. He followed Dorota through the hallway and to the door to a more luxurious hospital room. For a second he felt that he really didn't want to open the door and step inside. Then he took a deep breath and knocked.

Hesitantly Chuck stepped inside the room. He first looked over at Blair, who looked like crap, even though he would never dare voice that opinion out loud. Her face was puffy and free of makeup, making the bags under her eyes very apparent. The hair that had escaped from her pigtails was sticking to her face, which was covered in sweat like the rest of her. All of that might have worked in her favor if she had been glowing with happiness, but the look on her face was not what one would expect from someone who had just held their baby in their arms for the first time not too many minutes ago.

"Hey…" he said.

"Hey" she replied. "Baby's over there."

He looked in the direction she was nodding and walked over to the bassinette sitting by the bed. He had expected the child to be in her arms, not laying by itself. He felt extremely nervous before taking a first peak at the little person laying in the bassinette.

"It's deformed" were the first words that came out of his mouth when he with much disappointment saw his baby for the first time. "It's a bad sign when a completely crooked nose is the least of the kids' concerns."

"It's not a permanent cone head" Blair pointed out to him in a duh-tone. "And the nose will pop back. Infants have soft heads. What do you think happens when they spend a long time in the birth canal?"

Chuck made a face. It made him uncomfortable to hear her talk about things like _birth canals_, it sounded so clinical and so…

"Because of the epidural I had some difficulties pushing" Blair continued her over-sharing. "It took quite a while, far longer than you'd like to know, and definitely long enough that I'm no doubt stretched out completely and ruined forever and ever. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Uh-huh" Chuck said, trying not to listen. "Why is the face all swollen?"

"Just be glad you missed seeing her with sticky eyes."

"Were you in a lot of pain?" he asked, after some hesitation.

"It wasn't pain free."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But at least you made it through okay."

Chuck hesitantly reached down and ran his hand over the blanket covering the tiny little girl. His daughter. It was a frightening thought. She was really there, in front of his eyes, underneath his touch. She was real. And she was definitely his. If there had ever been any doubt, that doubt went away when he saw the baby's jaw line. It was definitely his jaw, no doubt about that. Neither Blair nor Nate had those sharp lines. Holding his breath he carefully let his hand caress the cheek of the sleeping baby. The first time he touched her.

"That mouth could be either yours or mine" he said. "Whose nose that is we won't be able to tell until it… pops back. But that's definitely my jaw."

"I know" Blair said faintly.

He looked up at her. She looked devastated, hugging her knees tightly and with tears in her eyes. A realization hit him, one that hurt him far more than he would have expected.

"You were hoping it was his, weren't you?" he said.

She didn't answer at first, just bit her bottom lip. Then after a second she nodded and whispered a confirmation. Not that she had to answer. The fact that she had had Dorota call Nate first and Chuck second was confirmation enough.

"She was conceived weeks before you slept with Nate" he said.

She didn't answer. Clearly she had been hoping against what all the facts pointed to that her baby's father was Nate. Even though Chuck had been the one assuming the role of father during the pregnancy, and she had let him. It had been with Chuck she had made arrangements, it was Chuck's father who had been involved in the more practical aspects of what would happen once the child came. Chuck was the one she had discussed baby names with. Still she had hoped the baby was Nate's, enough to be weeping now when the baby so clearly had been fathered by Chuck. He didn't realise that the tears were mainly brought on by sheer exhaustion and the overwhelming events of the day, all he saw was her devastated that Nate wasn't the baby's father.

"My deepest condolences" he snorted, profoundly offended by her reaction.

Ignoring her he turned to look at the baby again. His daughter. He didn't feel like a father looking at her, but he was damn sure not going to relinquish her to Nathaniel. He was in love with her mother, and the fact that her paternity made said mother cry was enough to make him want to join in the crying. Maybe the baby would wake up and start to cry as well, and they could be one weird crying unit.

Gently he leaned down and kissed the baby's forehead. She smelled funny, and made a little noise. He leaned back and studied her again. Brand new, not even an hour old. And already caught up in the drama of her teenaged parents. He gulped. He would be twice her age at _thirty-four_. That was roughly the age he had thought he would start having children, not the age he would be twice his kid's age.

"You've seen her" Blair suddenly said. "Now you can go. I need sleep. It's late, and too damn hot."

Without a word he took his eyes off the infant and walked out of the room, without as much as a look at the baby's mother.

* * *

Chuck stepped off the elevator and headed for his bedroom. He was exhausted, both from the heat and from everything that had happened during the day. He barely noticed his father and stepmother sitting by the dinner table and didn't much care that they were there either.

"Charles!" Lily said. "There you are. We were starting to wonder where all you kids were; it's getting so late."

Chuck paid no attention to her. He just stopped to take his blazer off and throw it on the couch, opening the top buttons of his shirt seconds after.

"Where have you been all night?" Bart asked, sounding slightly annoyed, as per usual.

"Out" Chuck replied and headed for his bedroom. "Now I'm going to bed. By the way, you have a granddaughter."

Bart shared a look with Lily, and then got up to follow his son. Chuck had gone into his bedroom and was busy removing his shirt and cranking up the air conditioning one more notch. He had his back to his father and didn't bother to acknowledge that he had entered the room.

"Blair had the baby?" Bart said.

Chuck didn't bother with answering such a stupid question. He let his shirt fall to the floor and started kicking off his shoes.

"Charles" Bart said, taking a step closer. "You've been to the hospital?"

"You thought I wouldn't go?" Chuck asked with a tired voice. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I would have expected you to call me when the baby had come" Bart said. "So Lily and I could go over and see her."

"I had no idea you cared that much" Chuck said and pulled the bedspread off the bed. "It's late. Blair's exhausted. Leave it until morning."

"Were you there when..?"

"I've told you, Blair didn't want me there" Chuck said, getting annoyed. "Dorota called me right before the baby came. She had already delivered by the time I got there but I did get to see the baby before she was an hour old."

Bart was silent for a moment.

"Does she look like you?" he then asked.

"She looks like a little lump with hands attached" Chuck snarled, wishing his father would just leave him alone.

"I'm just asking because we're not entirely sure she _is_ yours."

"She'd better be, after all the crap I've had to do over these past months" Chuck said, not really wanting the baby all that much but definitely relieved that she wasn't Nate's.

"How big was she?"

"Didn't ask. Didn't measure. Infant-sized."

"Does she have any hair?"

"I don't know. She was wearing a hat."

"You didn't take a picture?"

"No, but don't worry, I'm sure she's photogenic. Are we done playing Twenty Questions yet? Go see her for yourself tomorrow if you're so curious."

"And is Blair..?"

The question hung in the air. Chuck figured his father wanted to know that the mother was doing okay, but unless he asked the full question Chuck had no intention of answering. He sat down on the bed and pulled off his socks while his father stood and watched.

"How is Blair feeling?" Bart finally said.

"Like she just squeezed out a watermelon from her delicate parts, I should assume" Chuck said.

"But under the circumstances, she's doing okay?"

"She's not going to die if that's what you're wondering."

"Don't get so cross with me" Bart said, losing a bit of patience.

"Look, Dad, it's been a really long night following a very hot day" Chuck said. "What do you want? Any questions you might have about the baby you can get the answers for tomorrow by going to see her."

Bart hesitated for a second. Chuck really wasn't the least bit interested in talking tonight, and sharing this with his father. His son had just become a father and at least that was _something _the two of them had in common, but Chuck obviously had no desire to bond over it. It made Bart sad to know he was so disconnected from his son that Chuck didn't even want to open up to him about _this_.

Chuck meanwhile continued to undress and wished his father would just leave already. Seeing that baby had made absolutely no difference to him. He hadn't fallen instantly in love; he couldn't even see the baby as his. Yet it was his baby, and looking at the child and feeling absolutely nothing suddenly made him feel like he knew exactly what Bart felt regarding him. No love, just the burden of responsibility.

In a last attempt to find out more about his newborn grandchild, and to connect with his son, Bart took a step closer and tried to find the right words to say to make Chuck understand that he wanted them to find some common ground. Now that Chuck had a baby of his own he would be able to understand that even though things weren't always smooth with your children you always loved them.

"Chuck…" he said. "The way you feel when you look at her, is exactly the way I feel when I look at you."

His son looked up at him with eyes that were far more vicious than Bart would have ever expected.

"Just get out" Chuck said through gritted teeth.

With a frustrated sigh Bart turned and walked back into the dining area, where Lily immediately began to bombard him with questions that he had no good answers to. Chuck got up and closed his door, hoping no one else would be dumb enough to disturb him tonight. His father's last words had really hit the spot and he would have liked to tell his father to go to hell, but he didn't have the energy for it. All he wanted to do was go to sleep and for a few hours escape the fact that he was now himself somebody's father.

* * *

Okay, I'm done torturing Chuck after this chapter, I promise! Or at least I promise to give him a break for a while… =) I know Blair might seem cold or annoying in her scene with Chuck but I figured she would be both drained and overwhelmed after having had a baby so you don't have to read _too_ much into it.

When it comes to Chuck, from what I've gathered in the (admittedly little) research I've done for this chapter sometimes it takes some time for men to bond with their children and grasp that the child is theirs. It happens with women too, though not as often, since women carry the baby. How common this is I do not know, but it seemed reasonable to me that Chuck would have some difficulties grasping the concept once the baby is actually there, especially given his age.

Anyway, there are well over a hundred of you who have this story on alert and have been waiting for the events in this chapter, so I hope it wasn't a let down! I am very grateful to each and every one of you for following my story =)

Updates will be less frequent now for a while as I've got so much going on right now. I'm aiming for weekly updates but time will tell if that turns out to be realistic.

In the meantime thanks for reading! Please review =)


	20. Chapter 20

As predicted the reviews for the last chapter were mixed. Most of you thought I was really mean to Chuck, which I won't deny, while some liked that I didn't go down the more saccharine route. As promised I will go easier on Chuck for a while now. Just don't expect any over-night miracles because I suck at writing stuff like that ;)

* * *

The next morning Chuck got up early and headed over to the hospital. He wasn't sure if Blair would even still be there, but she had looked pretty haggard the day before so chances were she would stick around and get medically pampered for a while. Chuck was eager to pay his visit early in the morning, by himself. He had a feeling Bart would decide to stop by and have a look at the latest addition to the Bass family tree and he would prefer not being there for that. He wasn't quite sure why, but it just felt awkward.

He walked into Blair's room without knocking and found her sleeping. Dorota was there, but the baby was apparently not. Chuck frowned, slightly confused, as Dorota hurried over to him with a smile.

"Is my memory starting to fail, or was there one more person here when I left last night?" Chuck said in a low voice.

"Baby is not here" Dorota told him. "Babies are kept in other room. Will be brought in soon, to have feeding."

"Okay…"

"But I can go get her for you now" Dorota smiled. "Mister Chuck she is a pretty girl."

Chuck sniggered, unable to find the words 'cone head' and 'swollen face' on his list of beautiful features, but didn't object as Dorota hurried off to get the baby. He walked further into the room and took off his jacket, hanging it on the hanger by the door. He then walked around the room aimlessly, not really sure what to do.

Blair stirred in her sleep.

"Dorota I'm thirsty" she said without opening her eyes.

Chuck walked over to the pitcher of ice water someone, most likely Dorota, had brought. He filled a cup and walked over to Blair's bed. She reached out her hand when she heard someone approach, but when she felt Chuck's hand instead of Dorota's her eyes flew open and she sat up. Then she winced and cried out in pain at the movement.

"Boo?" Chuck suggested.

"Geez Chuck!" Blair moaned. "What are you doing here? What time is it?"

"It's nine in the morning, and I'm here to warn you" Chuck said, putting the cup down on the nightstand. "Bart is probably going to show up to see the bundle of joy."

"Show up _here_?"

"No, he's going to show up at the oncology ward."

"I don't want anybody to see me like this" Blair sulked, examining her greasy hair. "And that includes you, by the way."

"Too bad. I'm already here. So… Have fun in here last night?"

"This isn't where I gave birth, you idiot" Blair said. "Does this look like a delivery room to you? They moved me here after she was born."

"How the hell would I know what a delivery room looks like?" Chuck shrugged. "Did Dorota bring your makeup and hair stuff? You're going to need it."

She looked up at him with an offended frown.

"Thanks."

He looked down when his phone beeped. It was a text from his father, wondering where he was. He quickly texted back his location, to which Bart sent a reply chastising him for leaving without his father.

"Incoming" he told Blair.

"Great" Blair sighed.

"And as a result, I'm outgoing."

"Oh no you're not. It's bad enough that I have to see the not-my-father-in-law grandfather of my baby looking like this. I'm not facing Bart alone. He'll probably examine the baby with extreme scrutiny and judge me for everything that's not to his liking. I can't handle that without you being here to take the blame with me. Especially not when I both feel and look like utter hell."

"Oh look at the bright side. At least you're alive. That means that you've got one up on the last woman he saw who had just given birth."

Blair frowned at his gallows' humor and motioned for Chuck to hand her the bag Dorota had packed. She didn't have the time nor the inclination to do any proper styling, but she had to do something before she could let anyone see her.

"So what did Nate think of her?" Chuck asked, having hesitated for the longest time before asking the question.

"He said she looks just like you."

"No she doesn't. She's just got my jaw. Has her nose popped back yet?"

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Blair asked just as the door opened and Dorota came in with the baby.

"Here she is" Dorota grinned. "Mister Chuck have you held baby yet?"

"No" Chuck said, not really wanting to.

"Then let me get camera" Dorota said, handing the baby over before he could protest and then running to her bag. "Must get picture of first time father holds baby. You will want to remember forever."

"So long as you have it fixed in Photoshop later on" Chuck said, eyeing the baby. "She's still got a cone head."

"Baby looks just fine" Dorota fawned.

Chuck looked over at Blair, who seemed preoccupied with combing through her hair. Most likely she didn't feel any desire to see the baby in his arms, if her mindset last night was anything to go by.

"She's heavier than I expected" Chuck said, studying the bundle in his arms.

Blair refrained from comment, but couldn't resist looking over at him. She felt that sting of sadness, that it was the wrong boy holding her baby. Yet at the same time it somehow seemed very right. The baby was Chuck's, she had thought of it as Chuck's during most of the pregnancy, and she knew he deserved to be the father. He was the one who had been there for her all these months. And she cared for him more than she would like to admit.

She glanced over at the clock while Dorota took the picture. It was time to feed the baby. Chuck would have to leave. It would be far too humiliating to have him watch as she tried to get the baby to latch on, and then try to pretend like it was a pleasant experience. Truth was it hurt, and while the nurses assured her that the pain would soon go away she was sick of pain by now. She had had her fill of both pain and humiliation.

"Could you do me a favor Chuck?" she asked.

"What?"

"I'm going crazy here having nothing to read" she lied. As if she had the time or energy to pick up a magazine. "Would you mind going down to the gift shop and see if they have the latest edition of Vogue?"

"They don't" Chuck said. "Your knight with shining hairdo Nate tried to get you one last night; I ran into him on my way out."

"Then would you mind going to the nearest place and getting one for me?"

He wasn't too keen on the idea, but appreciated any legitimate excuse to not be around when Bart showed up. Maybe his father would arrive before he got back. He handed the baby over to Dorota and left. Blair sighed with relief. She already knew there wasn't any Vogue at the gift shop, Nate had told her last night. As if she even cared.

She took her daughter in her arms and couldn't help a smile. The baby was adorable, and she had to admit that that bone structure might work in the girl's advantage. She had seen pictures of Chuck's mother, the person he had gotten it from, and if the baby ended up looking like her grandmother then she would be quite pretty.

And she was Blair's. Finally getting to meet this little princess was wonderful, and Blair knew she loved her already. She had loved her before she was even born, but now there was a face to allocate that love to. She was tiny, but she was perfect, and she was a living being Blair had created. It was quite amazing to think about.

If only she didn't have to breastfeed… She couldn't wait until it stopped hurting. Maybe then she could actually enjoy this bonding moment with the baby.

* * *

Chuck returned with Vogue half an hour after Blair was done nursing, having taken his good time finding it. The baby had been changed and was in Blair's arms, awake and mainly silent. Eleanor had arrived, and was leaned over her granddaughter, cooing and gushing in a way Chuck had never imagined Eleanor Waldorf capable of.

"Who's the most perfect, most precious little being in the whole wide world?" Eleanor cooed lovingly.

"Hey" Chuck said. "Did my dad stop by yet?"

"No" Blair said without looking up from the baby.

"Got your magazine."

"Great, thanks. Just put it on the nightstand."

"Bart is coming?" Eleanor asked, looking up.

"Here to appraise the spawn" Chuck said, putting the magazine on the nightstand as ordered. "I thought he would be here by now."

"Dorota's going to text when he walks through the main entrance" Blair said. "I need a moment to prepare myself before I can-"

She was cut off by her phone announcing she had a text. The baby began to cry at the sudden noise and Eleanor frowned.

"Blair! Don't use your phone in here. And you've scared the baby. Come to Grandma', precious… Oh God, I'm far too young to be a grandma'."

She took the baby and skillfully comforted the little girl back to silence while Blair checked her phone. It was indeed Dorota, giving her a heads up on Bart.

"Great" Chuck sighed.

"You should take her Charles" Eleanor said. "And you should do it right now or I might never be able to let her go."

Why the hell was everyone so adamant about him holding the baby? He barely knew _how_ to hold a baby. But he couldn't think of any logical protests so he took the baby from Eleanor and tried to hold her in what he hoped was the proper way. He couldn't quite remember what they had been taught in those parenting classes.

"Hi there" he said to the infant. "Enjoying life so far?"

"All she's really done in life so far is eat, sleep, poop and scream" Blair said.

"Well what else is there?" Chuck said with a dry smile. "Sex. But even though you are a Bass you're a bit too young for that, so…"

There was a knock on the door and Bart and Lily came in with a bouquet of flowers to add to the collection Blair had been getting that morning. Lily looked very excited and Bart was sporting a proud smile. In addition to the flowers he had a plushie penguin in his hand as a gift to the newborn baby.

"Bart, Lily, how nice to see you" Eleanor said with a smile, taking a seat on the edge of Blair's bed.

"You too Eleanor" Lily said. "Though we're mostly excited to see the little one!"

"Blair" Bart said with a nod in her direction. "Congratulations. How do you feel?"

"Okay I guess" Blair said. "Given the circumstances…"

"If there's anything you need, just let us know."

"Let's see the little miracle!" Lily clucked.

"Yes, I'm very interested to take a look at her" Bart said, with a touch of warmth Chuck had not expected to hear.

Lily gave Blair a warm hug and handed the flowers over to Eleanor. Bart put the penguin down on the nightstand, on top of the magazine Chuck had brought. Blair smiled meekly, feeling a bit awkward.

The baby began to protest a little as both Bart and Lily took a few steps closer and Chuck got nervous. What was he supposed to do if she started screaming? What a disloyal daughter he had, apparently set on making him seem like a poor father the first time his own father saw him with the child.

"Aw, poor thing" Lily said. "So many people here all of a sudden."

"Yes, and you only know some of us from before" Chuck said to the baby, hoping to distract her from crying by catching her attention. "You know the one in the bed, that's your mother. The one sitting _on_ the bed is your grandmother Eleanor. It's her job to spoil you rotten and let you do everything your mother says you can't. And me, I'm your… father. Does that sound as strange to you as it does to me?"

"It sounds strange to all of us" Blair said automatically, before blushing when she realized who was in the room with her and Chuck.

"It always does at first" Bart offered. "You'll get used to it."

"And that ugly old guy there is your grandfather" Chuck told the baby. "He specializes in nurturing inferiority complexes and crushing spirits. And for someone with that much money he doesn't buy you all that expensive gifts."

"That's enough Chuck" Bart said, and walked over. He took the baby from Chuck without much fanfare. "So this is the little offspring then? I recognize that jaw line… We'll still need a paternity test to be sure."

"That's kind of insulting" Eleanor scoffed.

"Dad" Chuck protested. "You couldn't go five minutes without bringing something like that up?"

Bart ignored him and held the baby up to study her more carefully. The baby looked back at him, seeming confused. After a few seconds Lily walked up with a big smile and took the baby from her husband.

"Don't hold a newborn like that" she gently scolded. "She needs to feel body contact. Oh she is absolutely adorable."

"She is, isn't she?" Blair smiled proudly.

"The most gorgeous, darling little thing" Lily cooed.

While the women continued to coo over the baby and Bart did his best to study her and ask all kinds of questions Chuck sat down in a chair by the window. Apparently the grandparents had temporarily forgotten all about their previous complaints and qualms. The power of Baby had seemingly made them all forget about everything else besides fawning over the newborn. Even Bart seemed quite mellow. He had picked the penguin up again and was holding it up to the infant.

"She's a fine specimen indeed" he said, and then he laughed. "Quite simply, an adorable little baby."

"Cone-head and awkward nose aside" Chuck mumbled.

"You weren't much of a prize at that age either" Bart said, though the softness in his eyes didn't quite match the words. "She actually looks a bit like you did as a baby. Except you were bald."

He took the baby back from Lily and with a gentle hand caressed the dark, thick hair covering the baby's head. The little girl had been born with a full head of hair.

"Careful…" Lily said, unnecessarily.

"Don't worry Lily" Bart said, a touch amused by her wariness. "Stroking her hair isn't going to harm her."

Chuck studied his father curiously. The previous business-like mannerisms seemed to have gone away. There was something quite sentimental about Bart's face and the way he was speaking right now. Chuck couldn't remember seeing his father like that for at least ten years now. Bart Bass simply didn't do sentimental.

"Not only is she not bald…" Bart said. "She's got a _lot_ of hair. She must get this from you, Blair."

Eleanor nodded.

"Blair did have a full head of hair when she was born" she said, and stroke her daughter's hair with a smile. "Even though she came in November I didn't want to put hats on her head, that hair was so cute."

"Well that explains a thing or two" Chuck piped up.

"My grades are better than yours, and I spent the last semester pregnant" Blair shot back and made a face at him.

"Chuck was an early walker" Bart said. "Less than a year old before you took your first steps. Then you were all over the place, even though your balance wasn't the best. We had to put a little crash helmet on you."

In the corner of his eye Chuck caught Blair trying to hide a fit of laughter by biting into a pillow she held in her hands. Chuck wished his father would just stop talking already. And speaking of…

"You were quick to walk, Chuck…" Bart said with a nod. "But not to talk. Talking took much longer."

Chuck rolled his eyes and thought that perhaps the reason for that was that probably nobody bothered to talk to him when he was a baby. What was with Bart and all this reminiscing? One might even think he had been an active part of Chuck's childhood, and not a grief-stricken man mostly busy with burying his wife while working on making his mark in New York's business world.

"Eric was the same" Lily said with a sentimental smile. "Walked before he talked. Serena was the exact opposite. She began to talk at an early age but seemed to have trouble getting the hang of walking."

"Why am I not surprised that talking is a skill she mastered at a tender age?" Blair commented.

She thought this was all quite interesting. She had always loved hearing about herself as a baby, but she knew very little about her friends when they were little. Hearing about Chuck was especially interesting. He was, after all, the other parent to her newborn baby. The baby might take after him in some of these aspects.

While Blair found it interesting Chuck hated every minute of the conversation that seemed to go on and on and on. He made a promise to himself to never embarrass his daughter by babbling about stuff she did when she was little to her friends. He would even keep the secret of her cone head. Unless she misbehaved or he needed leverage.

The conversation continued for quite a while. As soon as Eleanor, Bart or Lily mentioned something about their children as babies the other two chimed in with their own stories. Chuck was surprised at how much Bart had to say, but he chalked it up to having had nannies with big mouths. But the way the three of them went on and on one might think they had never met other parents before. Finally the agony came to an end when Eleanor looked at the time.

"I have to go Blair, or I will be late" she said. "But I will be back the minute my meeting is over, to take you and the little treasure home."

She gave Blair a kiss on the cheek and hurried out the door. Her departure prompted Lily to look at the time.

"Bart, we should go too" she said. "We've been here for quite a while and Blair needs her rest. We can see the baby again tomorrow."

"I wouldn't mind staying with her for a little while longer" Bart said.

"Darling…"

"We'll get you back to your mommy then" Bart said reluctantly to his granddaughter. He gently handed her over to Blair and ran a hand through the curls on her head. "You have a lot to be proud of" he then said with a smile. "Such a cute little thing, with so much potential."

"You're seeing the future CEO of Bass Industries?" Chuck wondered.

"She might be" Bart nodded, placing the penguin in Blair's arms, next to the baby. "Come on Lily, let's go."

Lily gave Blair a hug and then they were gone. It was just Blair, Chuck and the baby. Chuck felt a bit awkward and tried to think of something to say. He couldn't think of anything. Weird, he couldn't remember having a hard time finding words around Blair before. It had always been so easy.

"Well, I… I guess I'll get going too" he said. "You need rest, right?"

"Actually, before you go, would you mind taking her for a while so I can use the bathroom?" Blair asked.

"Uh… Sure, of course."

He walked over and took the baby from her again. Poor little thing, she was being handed around like a hot potato. Though if she minded much she at least didn't let it show. She remained quiet when Chuck took her. Blair tossed aside her blanket and then winced as she slowly threw her legs over the side of the bed.

"This is going to be extremely unpleasant" she said, looking apprehensive.

"No details please" Chuck said.

He walked with the baby to the window to give Blair some form of privacy as she got up and headed for the bathroom. When the door closed behind her he looked down at the baby, who was looking up at him.

"You kind of look like an alien" he said, studying her eyes and the shape of her head. "But I've decided I like you anyway." He got a gurgle in response. "Seriously though, with those eyes, you look like you're part-bug."

The baby yawned. He couldn't help but smile. It was rather adorable.

"Tired, huh? I don't blame you. You've been on display all morning. Tell me honestly, who do you like the best so far? Don't answer Blair just because you met her first."

He sat down in the chair by the window and studied his little daughter carefully. She seemed to be studying him right back, though her eyes tended to drift every few seconds. Then she yawned again.

"That low attention span is disconcerting" Chuck said. "It's a distinctive Archibald trait. But you're mine, aren't you? Poor thing. Basses aren't happy people. But at least we're rich people. While the other little girls you play with will point to a pony and ask their parents to buy it and get a no for an answer, you'll be able to point to a city and ask me to buy it. You'd still get no for an answer, but at least you can dare to dream bigger."

He studied the baby carefully and tried to get it through his head that it was an actual person. At the moment it seemed like a lifelike, misshaped doll. He found himself wondering how aware the baby was at this stage. Was she aware of anything at all except hunger, heat and cold? Did she have thoughts? Did she like or dislike things?

"I still kind of like Hope…" he mused. "What do you think? Do you feel like a Hope? Would you like that as your name? Or do you think it's tacky and so unfit for an Upper East Side baby? I'm betting Blair thinks the name sucks. Let's face it, it doesn't matter what you think, because you don't get a vote." The baby gurgled and he snorted. "Actually, forget it, Hope is a terrible name. Hope is the type of name people who see life through Walt Disney's eyes give their children. Let me tell you something, little lump, there's nothing to be hopeful about in life. I pity you, having all of that crap ahead of you. Learning to walk, talk, behave, going to kindergarten, school, trying to fit in, puberty, discovering the worst concept ever which is something called '_love_' and which girls tend to think is great because they're _idiots_. It's all a huge pain in the ass, and to make matters worse you're stuck with me and Blair as your parents."

The baby blew a spit bubble and he made a disgusted face as he wiped it off, thinking about how pathetic babies were. They couldn't even wipe off their own spit. They needed help with everything.

"_I am seventeen, going on eighteen…_" he sang, "_I'll take care of you…_" He scoffed and shook his head. "Yeah right. Blair and I couldn't even handle the responsibility of checking if the condom had broke. Leaving us with the responsibility for a baby is like asking for a Dickensian tragedy to happen."

The baby continued to gurgle and he continued to wonder why people, women especially, thought babies were so wonderful. He thought she looked stupid, smelled way too much, and did nothing even remotely interesting. For a second he let it sink in that he would never not be connected to this little bundle, but the panic started to rise in his throat so he quickly pushed the thought from his mind. He would have to take this one day at a time or he would probably lose his mind. Parenthood was far too big a responsibility.

Blair walked out from the bathroom and took a second to study Chuck and the baby. A hint of a smile spread on her face. She felt a bit bad about asking him to leave but she really needed some time to herself. She was in dire need of some more sleep, and she was being discharged in a few hours. And she ached to hold the little baby again and not have to share her with anybody else.

"I can take her again" she said.

Chuck looked up.

"Okay" he nodded.

She leaned in and gently took the baby from him.

"There we go…" she said.

Her eyes met Chuck's just as the baby was moved from his arms to hers. She felt a sting of something, some feeling. It felt… special. The first time all three of them were touching at the same time. It finally hit home that this was her daughter with Chuck. They had a little baby together.

"Thanks for taking her while I went to the bathroom" she said.

"Sure… No problem."

She walked back to the bed and carefully got up on it. With one hand she held the baby tight and with the other she pulled up the comforter around herself. Chuck watched her whisper quietly to the infant and almost wondered if she knew he was still there. She seemed completely absorbed by the little girl. He envied her for that and for the look of happiness and adoration on her face. What was it like to love someone the way Blair loved the baby, when you had only known them for a few hours? And what was it like to be someone Blair loved like that? He would give a lot to be on the receiving end of the look on her face.

He stood up, wondering if he was jealous of his own child. He walked over to get his coat and eyed Blair while he put it on.

"You've said '_hi_' to her like fifteen times" he pointed out, mainly just to get her attention. It didn't really work. She didn't look up at him when she responded.

"I can say it a hundred times more" she said, nuzzling the baby's nose. "I want her to know she's welcome."

"Well I'm off."

"Uh-huh."

He sighed and walked out the door. Blair was barely aware. She was too happy about the little girl she was holding. After a few minutes she looked up, noting that she was alone. A nurse would probably be in soon to take the child so Blair could get some more rest, but right now she was all alone with her baby.

"So…" she said in a sweet voice to the baby girl. "That was your Grandpa' Bart and Lily. Don't worry if Bart frightened you. He has that affect on people. Lily's nice though, if somewhat flakey." The baby looked at her with her big eyes. Blair smiled affectionately. "And then of course there was Chuck. Your father… God it feels weird saying it. What did you think? Did you like him? Think he will do as a father?"

She got a yawn from the baby in response, and chuckled when she saw the tiny hands form fists and then open again. Chuck had been surprisingly good with the baby. Even if his reaction last night hadn't been one she would want to tell the baby about later on.

Nate's had been different. He had given her a charming little smile, told her she looked good and then kept the smile on his face when he walked over to see the little girl. He had studied her for a second, then looked at Blair with an even warmer smile and told her the baby was beautiful. It had been exactly what Blair had hoped for that moment, except for a few key details. The baby was not Nate's and he had figured it out. The smile when he looked up at Blair had been partly relief.

"Thanks to you I am forever tied to Chuck Bass…" Blair said pensively to the baby in her arms. "Or rather, because of me letting his sex appeal get the better of me you are alive. I still can't really grasp that you are a part of both of us."

She studied the baby closely for a moment, trying to see whose features she had. Aside from the distinctive jaw line her face was pretty much just a baby's face. Blair had heard that it took some time for features to become apparent and perhaps that was true. She wondered if she would even be able to pick her own baby out from a line-up. It should be bothering her that the only clearly distinctive feature on the infant's face was something she had gotten from Chuck, but truthfully she just felt relieved. At least now she wouldn't have to wait for paternity tests to come back. Not that they wouldn't be doing the tests, but she had no doubt what the results would be. Last night she had been disappointed but today she was mostly relieved that the guessing was over.

"Will you end up looking like him, honey?" she asked her daughter, running a finger along her jaw while the baby closed her eyes and seemed to drift off to sleep. "I wanted a child with Nate's beautiful features but I'll admit the boy you got half your DNA from isn't such a bad source either. He does have really nice eyes… I'm betting a person could just drown in them… And his mouth is really pretty, with a nice Cupid's bow. Not to mention his lips are amazing to kiss, but that's so beside the point. He has pretty nice hair too, doesn't he? I'm not too crazy about his forehead and that nose fits on a guy but probably not on a girl, so let's hope you get those parts from me. But all in all I won't mind it if you take after him. Just don't take after him _too_ much. I'm your mother, I want to see some of my features in you too."

She tried to imagine what the child would look like ten years down the line, or as an adult, but it was impossible. The mere thought of this tiny infant ever being an adult human being was incomprehensible. She was so tiny, with such prefect little fingers and tiny little finger nails that were perhaps Blair's favorite part of all. Those adorable finger nails, so tiny yet perfect. The thought that she would one day be over five feet tall was far too strange to grasp.

Now that the baby had arrived, all new things were beginning to worry Blair. Things she hadn't really given much thought to earlier. Once it was proven that Chuck was the father Blair's monopoly on the baby would no longer be a given. Aided by the uncertainty of who the father was Blair had seen the baby as mostly hers during the past nine months, and now that she was holding her child she most certainly couldn't see herself handing the baby over to anyone else. Having to _share_ her with someone else was a scary thought. She didn't think Chuck would fight her too hard on the issue, at least not until he had gotten to know the baby better, but Bart was a different matter. It had been with mixed feelings she had seen Bart so clearly fond of the baby girl. On one hand it had been very touching but on another it had been scary. If Bart Bass wanted his granddaughter to be raised mainly in his own home then it would be a definite problem.

"On the other hand…" she said out loud to her sleeping baby. "Grandpa' Bart has never gone up against Mama Blair. If he thinks he's going to win a battle with me when it comes to my daughter then he can think again. You're mine, little treasure. I carried you, I gave birth to you and I am going to raise you." She thought of something and frowned. "Corollary: If you turn out to have colic then you can stay with the Basses until you get past that."

A nurse knocked on the door and came in to take the baby. Blair said goodbye to her and watched as the nurse left the room with the infant. Blair slowly and carefully moved so that she was lying on her side, pulling the covers up to her chin. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Hope you thought I treated Chuck better in this chapter! Thanks for reading, please review =)


	21. Chapter 21

Updated version!

* * *

Chuck walked into Blair's bedroom and casually threw his bag on the floor.

"Pick that up" Blair frowned from her spot on the bed.

Chuck ignored her and let his jacket join the bag on the floor. Blair was still lounging in bed, looking far more weary than he had ever known her to look before this summer, but he was starting to get used to her tired eyes and not-perfectly-styled hair. He could however not get used to seeing her with sweat pants.

"You have it good" he said, casting a glance at her. "Getting to lounge around here all day, not having to go to school."

"It's awesome" Blair said with little enthusiasm. "All I have to put up with instead is a baby sucking at my breasts every three hours, stitches and aches in a place where nobody ever wants to have either, and having everything around me smell like spit up and diapers."

"Minus the stitches and the baby that sounds like a place I visited in Monaco last winter" Chuck said. "I brought you homework, as ordered."

"Great" Blair said sullenly.

It was their new arrangement. Until Blair was able to return to school the idea was that she would study as much as she could at home. Having a baby was in no way something she would let change her plans to go to Yale, in fact she had decided it would work to her advantage. If she managed to keep up her perfect grades and at least some of her extracurricular activities while being a seventeen year-old mother then that would surely impress the Yale people.

She had insisted on going to school for the first day, in spite of everyone insisting otherwise. School started merely five days after she had given birth, and she was in no shape to go and attend classes. Chuck had asked if she planned on bringing the inflatable ring she sat on for the first couple of days, which had made her whack him with said ring. She knew it was too soon to go back to school, but she wanted to be there on the first day. If not else to show everyone that she was not gone for good and that she could still hold her head high.

She had indeed attended for the first couple of hours, before Dorota had called her from a cab outside telling her to come out and feed the baby. At that point Blair had realized she might as well go back home, and after that she had stayed in her mother's penthouse, deciding to give herself a full two weeks of proper rest before going outside again.

As if she was getting anything even resembling rest.

Since she would not be showing up at Constance Billard for a while Serena made sure to get all her homework and then hand it over to Chuck by the end of the day. He then brought it over to Blair, an arrangement his father had been adamant about for two reasons. For one he insisted that Chuck help Blair out as much as possible so that she didn't have to fall too far behind at school while she was on her maternity leave. For another he wanted Chuck to spend time with the baby.

"Where is the baby?" Chuck asked while he handed Blair her books.

"Take a wild guess."

He walked over to the crib and peaked down at his daughter, who was awake.

"Hey kid" he said. "Drool on anything new today?"

"Luckily she's been sleeping for much of the day" Blair said. "Yesterday she screamed all day long, to the point where I was giving serious consideration to adoption."

"This little angel?" Chuck asked, giving Blair a teasing grin.

"Angel/demon hybrid, I'm pretty sure."

He chuckled and gave the baby his left index finger. She grabbed a tight hold of it and he was amazed with how strong she was at only a week old. He looked up at Blair who had begun to look through the books he had given her.

"Did you want anything?" she asked without looking up.

"Just saying hi to the _thing_."

"Since you've done that you can go" Blair said. "I've got a lot of studying to do and I want to get it done while she's still quiet."

Chuck rolled his eyes but obediently retrieved his finger to get ready to go. Unfortunately that did not sit well with the baby, who began to scream. Blair tossed her book aside and as lithely as she was able to got off the bed.

"Now what did you do?"

"Nothing" Chuck said. "I was just going to leave, as ordered."

Blair lifted the baby up and made a face.

"Damn, I forgot, it's time to feed her. You're late, you were supposed to be here half an hour ago, so you could have left before feeding time."

"What's the big deal?"

"Just go, would you?" Blair sighed.

"Oh I'm not going anywhere" Chuck said and took a seat in the chair by her dresser. "I'm curious, how do those boobs of yours look by now?"

"How can you be such a creep when your daughter is in the room?" Blair asked and bounced the baby up and down. "Just go!"

"Relax Waldorf, I'm just yanking your chain."

"I prefer it un-yanked, thank you very much."

"Geez, sleep-deprived much?"

"So much so it's not even funny."

Chuck looked at the baby, whose cries were getting louder by the second.

"Does she always scream this loudly?"

"Uh, _yeah_."

"It begs the question, why don't you have a nursery and a nanny, like normal rich people?" Chuck said, fighting the temptation to cover his ears with his hands.

"Because I want her to bond with _me_, not some fat lady I've hired to look after her, and at least when she's in here I don't have to run to another room whenever she starts to scream."

"Funny, because running to another room seems like the most tempting thing to do right now" Chuck remarked.

Dorota came hurrying in with a tiny pillow in her hand.

"Miss Blair, time to feed baby."

"Yes I know that" Blair snarled. "I am serious Chuck, leave."

With an annoyed sigh Chuck left. Not that he cared about seeing Blair nurse, it was just annoying that he came over with her books almost every day after school and she treated him like a servant. He walked downstairs and was just about to get on the elevator when he realized he had forgotten his jacket and bag. He half expected Dorota to come rushing down the stairs to give them to him, but she was busy helping Blair.

With a sigh he walked back up the stairs, stopping outside Blair's bedroom for a moment, unsure of whether or not he should go in. But he needed his things before he could leave, and he figured Blair would like him gone the sooner the better.

The door was already open a little bit and he gently pushed it to open further. Without looking at the two women and the baby on the bed he knelt down and picked up his jacket and bag. Then he looked up as he rose, and froze for a moment. He wouldn't have thought the sight would be anything special, but he couldn't help looking.

The baby was nursing contently, holding Blair's finger with her left hand, her head resting on a pillow Dorota held up against the crook in Blair's arm. Chuck remembered hearing in those classes their parents had forced them to attend that it could be difficult to get babies to latch on to nurse, especially at first, but Blair didn't seem to have any trouble in that department. Their baby was eating like a pig.

The realization that this was the girl he was in love with, nursing his daughter, made him unable to just walk out again. He couldn't put words to the things he was feeling right now, but it was something quite unexpected.

Suddenly Blair looked up and saw him. He half expected her to start to yell, but apparently when the baby was in her arms like this she only spoke in soft tones.

"I thought you left" she said.

"Forgot my stuff."

"If I hear even one comment about how I look-"

"You look like a mother with a baby."

"She's almost done" Blair said. "Want to burp her?"

"That depends… Does she puke?"

"Yeah but that's not the best part" Blair said.

She gently lifted the baby up, quickly covering her nipple when she saw Chuck's eyes going there. She smiled at the baby and placed a kiss on her nose.

"What do you say, sweetie?" she said. "Think he can handle burping you? Do you want to give him the honor?"

Dorota shot Blair a look, then got up and left with the pillow while Chuck walked over and took the baby from Blair. He took the towel she handed him to place on his shoulder in case of spit up, and then tried to find a comfortable way to hold the baby. He wasn't used to holding her yet, and she was so fragile. He had no idea how firm a grip he should have.

He hadn't held her for long, and was about to make a comment to Blair, when suddenly a highly unpleasant smell filled the room. Blair grinned and moved back on the bed.

"That almost always happens" she chirped. "After input follows output."

"Disgusting" Chuck said, holding the baby further away from himself.

"Dorota!" Blair called.

A few seconds later Dorota returned and took the baby from Chuck. Like Blair had said, this obviously wasn't new. Apparently a diaper change was always needed immediately following a feeding. Dorota left to go change the baby but even with the baby out of the room it seemed like the smell lingered.

"That was vile" Chuck said with a disgusted look on his face. "It smelled like…"

"She's quite full of it" Blair smiled. "She gets that from you."

"No, I'm pretty sure she got the makings of that from _you_. Didn't you say she does that after nursing?"

He kept wrinkling his nose, unable to get the smell out of it. Blair seemed highly amused at her spot on the bed.

"First time you've smelled a dirty diaper?"

"I don't get why you're looking so entertained" Chuck said, taking a seat on the bed. "It's not like you've ever changed one. You're just as grossed out by it as I am."

She shrugged a shoulder and smiled.

"It's just fun to see you lose your cool" she said. "And over something so natural."

"It being natural doesn't make it any less gross."

She was still smiling, and looked a bit more relaxed now than he had seen her be since the birth.

"How is everything at school?" she asked. "Are we being gossiped about?"

"Not so much now as we were at the start of the week. Once they realized you wouldn't show up again for a few days they seemed to forget what they were saying about us to begin with. It's like going to high school in a geriatric ward."

She laughed a little.

"And what about Gossip Girl?"

"You haven't checked?"

"I haven't been able to decide whether I really need to know what she's saying, or if I really don't want to know" Blair said. "Honestly though, I only sleep for two or three hours at a time and I'm exhausted. Checking Gossip Girl is far down on my list of things I can muster up energy for right now."

"She hasn't said all that much" Chuck said. "She was kind enough to congratulate us when the baby was born, though whether it was sincere or not is up for debate, and she's made a few comments here and there. But mostly there's not a lot of coverage. You're staying cooped up in here and I'm on my best behavior at present, so she doesn't have any good source to get gossip on us from."

Blair looked relieved. Chuck was about to say something further when Dorota came back in with the baby.

"All nice and changed" Dorota said.

"Thank you" Blair said and stood up.

She walked over to Dorota and took the baby from her. She gave the little girl a kiss on the nose and then nearly got a baby fist in the eye.

"She seems to be a pretty good baby" Chuck offered, realizing he didn't know that much about the baby's habits. "I've only really heard her cry like twice."

Blair gave him a tired look.

"You should try being here 24/7" she said. "Sure right now she's quiet, and she does sleep a lot, but never for more than a couple of hours at a time. And she probably spends around five to eight hours every day crying. Or at least it feels like it."

"Just be glad baby does not have colic" Dorota said. "Then you will hear crying."

Chuck walked over and stopped next to Blair. He felt like a real jerk for barely knowing anything about his daughter. He realized he didn't even know if she had a favorite stuffed animal or not. Aside from the day after she was born he had only really seen her for about ten minutes a day. He had wanted to give Blair some privacy, since she had expressed a desire for just that. She had just given birth to his baby so whatever requests she made it seemed like he should acquiesce.

He reached out his hand and gently caressed the baby's cheek. Her skin was so soft, and she looked up at him with eyes that were dark blue. He wondered what color they would end up being. The little girl yawned big and closed her eyes. Chuck continued stroking her as she drifted off to sleep. His hand ran across her forehead and almost on autopilot caressed her head. Then he realized where he was applying pressure.

"Shit!" Chuck exclaimed and pulled back his hand. "I just touched that soft spot on her head. That's not good."

"If the baby can survive being _born_ I think it can survive your hands on its head" Blair sighed. "Although maybe not _your_ hands. They're probably infested with germs. Did you wash properly before touching her?"

"I… can see her pulse" Chuck said, sounding disgusted. "On her _head_. At that soft spot I just touched."

"Relax Mister Chuck" Dorota said and took the baby from Blair. "You did not break baby. Pulse usually visible on fontanel."

"You should see the look on your face" Blair chuckled.

"Oh yeah, Chuck squashes the baby's brain and hilarity ensues" Chuck said dryly, trying to hide how freaked out he had just been.

Blair continued to chuckle as Dorota put the baby down in the crib for a nap. Chuck stared down at his hand and made a disgusted face. Touching the soft spot on the baby's head had been weird, and felt completely wrong. Why Blair seemed to be entertained by it was beyond his comprehension.

"I would have thought the pulse thing was scary too" Blair admitted with a smile. "If I hadn't read about it before I delivered. Relax Chuck, she is fine."

"There's an awful lot of disgusting things that comes with such a small person" Chuck said, still looking dismayed.

"You shouldn't say such things about baby" Dorota objected.

"It's fine Dorota" Blair said. "I know Chuck well enough to know that just because he talks smack about someone that doesn't mean he doesn't care."

"You truly make me sound like a wonderful person" Chuck remarked.

Dorota gave them both a look that didn't seem too praising and then left the room. Chuck sat down by Blair's dresser and noticed that her room looked pretty much the same as it always had, save for a crib and a few other baby related things. But the room was still neat and tidy, which he realized he had not expected. Someone, Dorota probably, must be working overtime to make sure things didn't look messy and too I-have-an-infant in here.

"So how are you now Blair?" he asked, turning his focus over to the girl who had just had his baby.

"I'll live" she said, shrugging a shoulder.

"I feel like I haven't really talked to you since she arrived" Chuck continued. "Which I now realize is pretty rude. You go have a baby, _my_ baby, and I don't even think to check up on you and see how you're doing."

"I asked you to give me some time alone" Blair reminded him. "So it's not all your fault. I've needed these past couple of days to adjust. You know, when you're still pregnant you can't wait for it to be over, so you can finally meet the baby, and stop feeling like a bloated rhino. Then once the baby comes you're aching all over, you forget that you ever knew what it felt like to not be tired, and it's like the whole world around you disappears. It was more difficult than I had imagined to get used to having a small person who depends on me all day all night. Even if it is the most adorable little girl there ever was."

"All the more reason why I should have checked up on you sooner."

She smiled softly.

"It's only been a few days. We both have a lot of adjusting to do. It's going to take a while probably before we figure things out. But we'll get the hang of it."

"One can only hope."

"I'm sorry if you feel I've been keeping you from the baby" Blair said, and gave him an apologetic smile he found absolutely adorable. "I feel bad about that actually. I can't imagine not getting to be near her when she's so little and so much important bonding takes place, and here I've basically been denying you the chance to do that."

"Don't apologize" he said. "You were the one who had the baby. Take all the time you need to feel better."

"We both had the baby."

"Fine, rephrasing. I'm not the one the baby came out of." Then he made a thoughtful face. "Actually, I guess she kind of _did_, nine months ago, if you-"

"Try not talking for a while" Blair said, raising her hands to stop him from completing the sentence.

"Well, maybe I should get going" he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Blair nodded.

"Okay."

He hesitated. Truth was he didn't want to leave.

"Actually, you know what, you're right" he said. "I would like a chance to bond with the baby. Is it okay if I stay for a while?"

"The baby went to sleep" Blair pointed out. "And I was planning on taking a nap too. Remember what they said in parenting class, that I should sleep when she sleeps."

"Maybe I can wait here until she wakes up?" Chuck suggested, mainly just to get to stay near Blair for a while longer.

"You want to sit around and wait for three hours?" Blair asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I could do my homework while I wait."

Blair gave a scoffing laugh.

"Chuck Bass doing homework? Please. Look, I meant what I said, if you want to spend more time with her then I think that's great. Just… not right when she's been put down for a nap, okay? Perhaps tomorrow?"

He smiled crookedly, knowing that it was no use to insist right now.

"Alright. I'll see you both tomorrow." He stopped in the doorway and took a second to let his eyes run over her. "Hey just so you know… Motherhood agrees with you. You look incredible. Bye now."

He gave her a little wave and then he was off. She smiled, pleased with the compliment. She didn't feel too incredible at the moment, but when he had just said it she had felt it. She cast a glance at herself in the mirror and her smile turned into a slightly horrified face at the sight. Good God, she looked nothing like Blair Waldorf. She was a complete mess! There was no way Chuck thought _this sight_ was amazing. Clearly he was just kidding with her. That, or he was taking pity.

She got up on her bed and with a moan pulled a blanket over her head, determined not to show her face outside for at least another couple of weeks. She looked completely hideous, and she had barely lost any of her pregnancy weight. Granted it had only been a few days, but now that there was no longer a little person inside her belly she hated the fact that it was big.

She yawned and pulled the blanket back down so that it went up to her shoulders. Somewhere at the back of her mind she was vaguely aware that under normal circumstances she would have been mortified to have been seen by Chuck while looking like this. For some reason it didn't matter so much right now that he saw her at her most unattractive. Strange as it seemed, Chuck Bass out of all people seemed to be the one most understanding of a new mother's less-than-perfect appearance. Strangely enough, he had seemed like he meant it when he told her she looked good.


	22. Chapter 22

Updated version!

* * *

The next day when Chuck stopped by Blair was sitting by her computer, meticulously studying a website about infants. She barely looked up when he walked into the room, and didn't answer his 'hello'. He put her books down next to her on the writing desk and leaned against the wall behind it.

"So I see new mothers have loads of spare time to spend surfing the web" he commented. "Let me guess, Prada's website? You want to know if they make couture for people who are less than the month old?"

"I'm trying to figure out if it's normal that the baby's skin is so dry" Blair said, squinting at the computer screen. "I keep putting lotion on her but she's all dry again not too long afterward."

"And you're worried about your lotion budget being shot to hell?"

"If it's not normal then it's _abnormal_, and _abnormal_ is not a word I will accept in association with my baby."

"Why not just ask a pediatrician?"

She didn't answer. He walked over to the crib and peered down at the sleeping baby. He reached down his hand and touched her cheek.

"She doesn't feel dry to me."

"I put lotion on like fifteen minutes ago, after her bath."

"You know, having dry skin after a bath isn't all that uncommon."

"Only it's not just after her baths, it's all the time."

"Maybe she just, you know… _has_ dry skin?"

Blair ignored the comment and kept looking. Chuck studied the sleeping baby for a moment, then glanced over at Blair. Well wasn't this a stimulating visit?

"Bart is pushing to get the results from the paternity test" he said.

"It's a formality only."

"Tell that to Bart Bass. There's money involved, so we need to be sure."

"I'm not going to run to the courts and demand you pay child support" Blair said, casting a glance at Chuck over her shoulder.

"First of all we settled the money issues months ago" Chuck said with a dry smile. "Second, that wasn't what I was referring to. He's going to start a trust fund in the baby's name, so he needs to have absolute proof that his DNA is involved."

"Lucky baby" Blair said dryly and turned her attention back to the computer screen.

"Lucky baby indeed. You should be jealous of her. Her trust fund is going to make yours look like pocket money."

"Throwing money at people always was your dad's favorite way of 'showing affection'." The last two words were said in a highly sarcastic tone, accompanied by her fingers making quotation marks in the air.

"True" Chuck said. "He's also going to need an actual name to start the trustfund in. He asks me every day if we've settled on anything yet."

"He'll know when we know."

They still hadn't been able to agree on what to name the baby. The day after Blair brought her home from the hospital the Bass/van der Woodsen family had stopped by to see the newborn and it had only been minutes before someone had asked what her name would be. Blair and Chuck had not had time to discuss it at that point, which had led to everybody making suggestions. Chuck had not been in the mood and Blair had just been annoyed. _She_ wanted to find the right name for her daughter. Thereby anything suggested by Lily or Eric or Eleanor was automatically less attractive to her. After dismissing Abigail, Hayley, Faye and about a dozen other names Blair had said, as politely as she could, that she did not want any further suggestions and that she and Chuck would decide together when they had some time alone to talk about it. So far it had been over a week and they still hadn't gotten anywhere.

Chuck walked over and peered over her shoulder.

"Find anything yet?"

"It doesn't seem out of the norm" she said.

"Good. Then you have nothing to worry about. You can forget about the skin conditions of the baby and perhaps change your clothes."

"Excuse me?"

"I never thought I would see the day when Blair Waldorf wore sweats. Now it's all you seem to have worn since you gave birth."

"Excuse me, air for brains" Blair snorted and spun around in her chair to glare at him. "I gave birth very recently, so I think it's highly justifiable that I'm not dressing myself in Gucci and Chanel."

"I always figured you wouldn't think of childbirth as an excuse to _not_ dress in Gucci and Chanel" Chuck retorted.

"I'm in pain Bass" Blair snarled. "I want to wear whatever is comfortable right now. And for your information these sweats are Armani."

"Whatever you say. Far be it from me to question the woman who brought my firstborn into the world."

"Firstborn? You plan on having a whole parade of kids?"

"I do indeed, so you'd better be ready to squeeze another one out in no more than two years" he said cheerfully, ducking the palm that came to slap him.

"You are so not funny."

"I thought you'd be pleased. I've deemed you an acceptable mother for the noble offspring of Chuck Bass."

"The working girls out on the street are acceptable mothers for the offspring of Chuck Bass" she retorted.

"Oh don't be so hard on yourself."

Blair rolled her eyes but couldn't help but laugh.

"I wouldn't worry" she then said. "The sweats won't last. As soon as I feel comfortable wearing something normal I will go back to my old dress code. Mother says I'm delusional for thinking that's going to happen before the baby is three years old but I am determined to prove my mother wrong."

"It won't take you _three years_ to heal, will it?" Chuck asked, looking slightly spooked.

"No, that's not what I was referring to. Mother says that so long as the baby spits up like fifty times a day I won't _want_ to wear Versace. And she might have a point. Why let good fashion go to waste? Still, it does seem like a long time to not wear couture in."

"Do you not get the concept of nannies?" Chuck asked with incredulity.

"I want to be a real mom Chuck."

"And real mothers never get any help with their infants" Chuck commented dryly. "For God's sake Blair, just get someone to do the gross stuff, aside from old Dorota. It's not like the kid will remember whether or not you ever did any of that stuff anyway. Hell she probably can't even remember what she did before her nap."

Blair sighed and walked over to her bed, slumping down on it and then rolling over on her back.

"Can we talk about something else?" she asked. "Or can we not talk at all? I only have two more hours until it's time to feed her again and I need to sleep."

"How about instead of you taking a nap, _we_ take the baby out?" Chuck suggested.

"What?"

"It's a beautiful day outside. Baby has beautiful clothes. Why don't we dress her up in something beautiful, dress _you_ up in something other than sweats, and put that expensive pram to good use?"

Blair gave a scoffing laugh.

"First of all Chuck, the baby is sleeping. You do not wake a sleeping baby. Second of all I so don't want to go for a walk right now. I prefer keeping still."

"Moving around is actually good for you" Chuck said.

"I don't care if it's good for me or not. I am not waking the baby up."

"Fine" Chuck said, casting a look at his watch. "You said she eats in two hours? I'll be back in two and a half. We'll take her out after she's had her diaper changed."

"Chuck" Blair whined. "Some other time, okay? I don't want to go outside. Why don't _you_ take her out on your own?"

"See you in two and a half hours, Waldorf" Chuck said, already on his way out the door. "Go polish your walking shoes. Or get Dorota to do it."

Blair groaned and rolled over on her side, hugging a pillow. Before she could think of the proper thing to say to steer Chuck away from going out on a walk she had begun to drift off. She didn't sleep particularly well and dreamt about the baby's skin being so dry that it visibly cracked when Blair touched her. Pretty much in keeping with the kind of sleep she had been getting this past week.

* * *

"Don't walk so fast" Blair griped as they made their way towards the park.

"You call this fast?" Chuck replied.

"Yeah I do. I'm still not fully healed down there."

He obediently slowed down a bit, casting a glance at her. He would rather she piloted the pram, but she was busy sulking and if he asked her to take over she would probably snarl at him that since he was the one who had wanted to go outside, he could man the baby carriage.

He felt incredibly weird pushing his own baby around in it. It was a state of the art pram with velvet this and satin that, in a shade of blue Blair claimed was all the rage in the world of newborns. Their baby was sound asleep in it, dressed in a cute onesie Eleanor had bought for her, safely tucked in under a navy blue blanket. Next to her was the penguin Bart had given her the day after she was born and on her head was a tiny little hat Blair had bought way back in March when she had spotted it in a store and fallen in love with it. Still it felt like he was a kid pushing around a doll, pretending to be an adult. It just felt weird, and it had not escaped his attention that a number of people had glanced at them.

"I still think laying low would have been better" Blair said, having also noted the fact that people were looking. "We're practically begging to end up on _Gossip Girl_, or worse."

"There are things worse than _Gossip Girl_?"

"I cannot believe that I finally end up in more magazines than Serena, and it's because I have a baby out of wedlock with Bart Bass' son."

"Who knew the key to your fame lay in my-"

"I beg you not to finish that sentence."

Chuck smirked and looked both ways like a good boy before crossing the street. He was fairly sure they had already been photographed at least twice. He didn't really mind. He knew it was bound to happen at first, but the interest would die down.

"We're going to end up on _Gossip Girl_ with the baby sooner or later." he argued as they reached the park. "And in other media as well. The way I see it, we might as well do it on our own terms."

"Did it have to happen _now_?" Blair griped. "I look like crap, the least you could have done was let me have a hair appointment first."

"You look great."

"Chuck, as big an ego as I may have, even I don't believe that."

"Fine, you look _good enough_. Good enough for you?"

She made a face at him and he decided to change the subject before she began to gripe too much about her looks.

"You may have noticed that I told Dorota to place a blanket and a small picnic basket on this thing" Chuck said, nodding to the 'shelf' on the underside of the pram where one could place a diaper bag and other assorted necessities.

"I hate picnics."

"I am aware, but the point is not to have the time of our life. The point is to make it seem like we adore being new parents and like this is the most awesome thing that has ever happened to us."

"Baby _is_ the most awesome thing that has ever happened to us" Blair said passionately.

"Uh-huh, that's why you're always whining, bitching and griping?"

"I'm tired and in pain, that doesn't mean I don't adore her" Blair objected.

"I seem to recall your reaction to finding out you were pregnant to be less one of joy and more one of despair."

"That was _months_ ago! It's different now that she's been born."

"Whatever the case may be, I brought the picnic props to make it seem like we're enjoying this completely. The risk of people giving us a hard time about this are significantly lower if we put up a front that says we love every minute of it."

"But why does a picnic need to be involved?" Blair whined.

"Just go with it, Waldorf. It will be fun, I promise. I brought you cookies."

"Chocolate chip?" Blair asked grudgingly.

"Yep."

"Fine. But next time _ask me_ before planning stuff like this."

"I figured you would prefer getting some sleep" he shrugged.

They reached a spot in the park which they both deemed good enough and parked the pram with the still sleeping baby. Blair leaned over her to make sure she was perfectly tucked in, yet not too warm, while Chuck spread the blanket out on the ground and grabbed the small basket Dorota had prepared.

"The moment she wakes up she's coming out to participate in the stealth photo shoot" Chuck declared, stretching out on the blanket. "She's a Bass, and that means being less than two weeks old is no excuse for not pulling your weight."

"How do you even know someone will take a picture?"

"I hired paparazzi."

"I should have known."

She took a seat next to him and reached inside the basket for the promised cookies. She remained sitting while Chuck was flat on his back, sunglasses in place. They said nothing while she munched on the cookies and the baby continued to sleep. When she felt done with the snack she put the cookies away and lay down on her side next to Chuck. She had to admit that it was lovely being back outside in the fresh air.

"How long do you think it will be before she wakes up?" Chuck asked, bored judging by the sound of his voice.

"Patience Bass…" Blair yawned.

He turned his head to look at her. She had closed her eyes and seemed to be drifting off to sleep. It amazed him that she could fall asleep on a blanket in the park, not the softest mattress one could imagine. He hadn't understood exactly how tired she was. He moved a bit closer to her, under the pretense of having been lying on a rock, and sighed contently. Just to be near her felt just as great as it ever had, and it was nice to see her completely at peace. He almost wished the baby would continue to sleep for a while longer, even though the whole idea had been for them to be caught on camera _with_ the baby.

Everything remained calm and quiet, or at least as quiet as it could be in Central Park in early September, for a while. Blair had fallen asleep, and in her sleep she had placed her hand on Chuck's chest. He didn't even almost mind, even though he wondered if he was in for a smacking when she woke up. But she ended up stirred from her sleep by the baby who began to cry, and she rolled over on her back and sat up before she had even realized how she had been laying.

"Chuck she's awake" Blair mumbled.

"She doesn't need a new diaper, does she?" Chuck asked with a frown, getting up to tend to the baby.

"I think she just wants some attention."

"Hey there baby" Chuck said, picking the crying baby up. "There now… You don't want to be crying on your first _Gossip Girl_ blast. Dry those tears and come sit with Mommy and me on the blanket, yeah?"

He gently sat down next to Blair, who was more awake now and immediately gave the baby all her attention. Chuck held the child at an angle, so that both he and Blair could be facing her in the picture he hoped was currently being taken, but Blair told him to cut it out and hold the baby closer to him.

"She wants physical contact" Blair explained.

"Like this?" Chuck asked, holding the baby closer.

"Perfect."

Apparently Blair had an internal manual for how to handle the baby, because it didn't take long for the infant to stop crying once Chuck held her the way Blair told him to. He gently rocked her back and forth while talking all sorts of nonsense, feeling kind of idiotic.

"It's difficult to know what to say to her" he remarked.

"You're doing great, Bass" Blair said. "She likes you."

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll get past that once she gets to know me better" Chuck said nervously.

Blair gently caressed her daughter's cheek and smiled sweetly.

"I think she knows who we are" she mused. "Even at this young age…"

"She knows who _you_ are, that's for sure" Chuck said. "You're that person she used to live inside, who now provides breakfast, lunch and dinner. Me on the other hand? I don't think she has much clue at all."

"I think babies have a concept of Mother and Father" Blair said. "Like it's something genetic, or evolutionary, or something. And I think she knows that you are her father."

"Honestly Blair, I think she's aware of who you are because she depends on you for her survival. The rest of us are probably just weird, loud, tall things who insist on picking her up and make cooing noises."

"No, she knows…" Blair said, taking the hat off to stroke the baby's hair.

"Perhaps you should take her for a while? What time is it? When do you have to feed her again?"

"In an hour or so" Blair said, lifting the baby over to her own embrace. "You should hold her more often though. She sees enough of me but not of you."

"I'm a bit nervous to hold her" Chuck admitted. "I don't really know what I'm doing."

"Oh, and I do?"

"You're a natural. You've already carried her around for the better part of a year, even if your arms weren't involved."

"Carrying her in my arms is a lot different" Blair pointed out. "Crap, I dropped her hat. Pick it up?"

He reached for the hat now lying on the blanket and frowned.

"She should have a sunhat instead" he said. "To keep her away from the direct sunlight, and protect her eyes. Isn't there a risk of her getting too warm with this hat and the blanket and all of that?"

Blair smiled warmly and nuzzled the baby.

"See?" she told the child. "He's got parental instincts. Even if he doesn't want to admit it to himself."

Chuck was saved from having to comment by both their phones bleeping. He reached inside his pocket and grabbed the phone, curious to see what _Gossip Girl_ would have to say about the three of them.

"If she's got an ugly picture of me I'm going to kill you for making me leave the house looking like this" Blair said. "If she's got an ugly picture of our daughter I'm going to kill _Gossip Girl_ for posting unflattering pictures of my baby."

"Relax Waldorf" Chuck said. "Baby's not even in the picture. And shame on you for suggesting that she might photograph ugly."

"What is the blast about then?"

"It's a picture of us walking to the park, and she pretends to be all warm and fuzzy about seeing the two of us out walking the baby."

"I can live with that."

"And she cracks a joke about how _I'm_ the one managing the baby carriage."

"I can live with that too."

Chuck let his phone fall down in his lap and smacked his hands together right by the baby's head, startling the baby and making her cry.

"Chuck!" Blair shrieked. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you? What are you _doing_?"

"Postponing the baby's first mosquito bite" Chuck said, holding up one hand to show her the squished mosquito.

Blair flew to her feet much quicker than Chuck would have thought her capable of, and hugged the baby tight.

"We've had enough of the outdoors for one day" she snarled at Chuck before focusing on her baby. "It's okay baby, it's okay… He's just a big idiot. Nothing to be afraid of." She shot Chuck a look. "Really? Couldn't have waited until she's at least teething before you start making her scared of you?"

Chuck rolled his eyes and got up as well. He began to gather their things while Blair tried to comfort the screaming baby.

"You had better hope she quiets down real soon, before some busybody takes one look at our tender age and comes strolling up here to not mind their own business and tell us exactly how to handle an infant" she snarled.

"I can't imagine why she wouldn't be soothed by that comforting tone you've got" Chuck snarled back.

"Everything is fine, sweetie…" Blair cooed. "Mama's right here."

After another couple of minutes the infant finally calmed down, and Blair was able to put her down in the carriage again. They began to walk back in complete silence, this time with Blair pushing the pram. Chuck realized he had been benched but didn't mind too much. In his mind, startling the baby was still preferable to having to comfort an infant with an itching mosquito bite.

"I knew taking her out was a mistake" Blair mumbled under her breath.

"Yes God forbid we should subject an infant to fresh air" Chuck replied.

"I'm not averse to her experiencing the world outside my mother's penthouse" Blair said. "But must we take off her floating rings and throw her into shark infested waters before she's even learned to hold her head up on her own?"

"It was a trip to the park" Chuck pointed out. "Look I'm sorry about the whole startling her thing, but I have faith she will recover. If I'm wrong I will personally pay for her therapy later on in life. I'm sure some Upper East Side shrink will be positively thrilled to have a patient whose childhood trauma stems from their father clapping his hands together at one point."

"Don't mock the baby's mental health."

"I'm not. I just think you're being a little overprotective."

"You _startled_ her."

"Which I have apologized for. Come on Waldorf, mosquito incident aside this was a nice outing. Admit it."

Blair sulked and didn't respond. She didn't like having the baby out in an environment where it was much more difficult to keep track of all the things that might harm her. She preferred having the infant somewhere safe. There would definitely not be any further outings for a good long while.

* * *

Eleanor Waldorf strode off the elevator, tossing a binder aside on the table by the stairs as she went. Dorota came walking in from the kitchen when she heard her boss enter, wondering if Eleanor would have any new tasks for her to do.

"Dorota I simply _must_ cut back on my work hours" Eleanor declared cheerfully. "I cannot stand being away from that little angel I call my granddaughter for hours a day. Do you know if she is awake?"

"Baby probably put down for nap" Dorota said. "Miss Blair and Mister Chuck take her to park earlier in day."

"Oh, he got her out of the house?" Eleanor noted as she began to climb the stairs. "I like that boy better and better for each passing day."

"Miss Blair looked weary when she get back" Dorota said. "Perhaps she asleep too."

"I guess I'm about to find out" Eleanor replied.

She walked to her daughter's room and gently knocked on the door. She opened it and stepped inside, stopping on the threshold. Blair was sitting up in bed, underneath the covers, holding her baby close and sobbing hysterically.

"Blair what is it?" Eleanor asked, worried that there was something wrong with her little granddaughter.

Blair didn't answer. She just sobbed and shook her head. Eleanor hurried over and sat down next to her on the bed. When she tried to take the baby Blair firmly shook her head and held her closer.

"Blair, at least let me take a look at her" Eleanor said, trying to sound firm and reassuring at the same time. "Let me see if she's okay."

"She is" Blair sniffled. "Barely."

"Blair, what has _happened_?"

"She can never, ever leave this penthouse again" Blair sobbed. "Today she almost got viciously attacked!"

"By who?"

"A mosquito. In the park."

Eleanor just blinked at her daughter for a few seconds before being able to speak.

"A mosquito? All of this because the baby almost got a mosquito bite? I was beginning to worry you had dropped her from the changing table or something."

Her mother's blaze attitude only annoyed Blair. Once they had returned to the penthouse and Chuck had left Blair had picked the baby up and begun to get herself worked up over what had happened earlier during the day, and the thought of what might have happened if it had been a bee instead of a mosquito. Having her mother make light of the whole thing was definitely not helping matters.

"Mother those things are _horrible_" Blair argued through her tears. "She's so tiny, only a few days old. She won't understand why she's got such a terrible itch. Poor thing shouldn't have to feel that way. Besides, mosquitoes carry _malaria_."

"The ones in Central Park?"

"Mom just _think_ of all the horrible things that can happen to her! She can get the measles or rubella or the stomach flu! Right now she's so perfect and pristine and that's how she should always be."

"Blair" Eleanor said, trying to reason with her daughter. "She is _going_ to get sick at some point. Everybody gets sick."

"Not everybody has to be" Blair argued. "We can keep her safe. Away from all kinds of bacteria and viruses and bugs and crap. It's not right that she should have to get _sick_."

"Miss Eleanor, is everything alright?" Dorota asked, having appeared in the doorway.

"Everything is fine" Eleanor said. "We're just having a little maternal freak-out."

"Mother this is _serious_" Blair blubbered. "Just thinking about all the horrible things that might happen to her makes me terrified!"

"Why don't you go make some soothing tea, Dorota?" Eleanor suggested.

"Looks more like she need Valium" Dorota said under her breath as she headed off.

"Blair, let me take the baby and put her in her crib, and when you've calmed down we can talk about this" Eleanor said gently.

"_No_!" Blair said. "I am _not_ letting go of her. She might get hurt!"

"By what, the stuffed animal in her crib? It's at the foot of the bed."

"Cribs are potential _death traps_! What if it collapses?"

"Oh come on."

"Mom just _look_ at her. She is so perfect. Immaculate. She's never been sick a second of her life, she's never even had an achy stomach, and she doesn't have a scar on her. It breaks my heart to think that this perfect child will have to be subjected to pain and illness and that she might end up with scars. Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to be alive?"

Eleanor couldn't help but chuckle.

"Mother this is not funny."

"Blair, do you really think you're the first mother who worries that her child might get hurt or get sick? You can only pray your daughter won't come to you when she's seventeen and announce that she's pregnant. _That_ was not on my list of things I wanted for you. In fact it was on my list of worst case scenarios, along with cancer, brain damage and you falling in love with a boy from a public school. Your baby girl is going to get a million bumps and bruises, and be sick countless times. The flu, the common cold, whopping cough… It's part of life."

"The common cold is not the only illness lurking out there" Blair said, calming down a bit. "Speaking of cancer, did you know that the two most common forms of cancer in children are brain tumors and leukemia? That's horrible! But it get worse. Did you know that the bubonic plague is still around?"

"I don't think my granddaughter is going to die from the bubonic plague."

"A lot of people have thought that and been proven wrong."

"Yes but Blair, they lived in the dung ages."

"She's just so perfect" Blair said, lovingly running a finger down the sleeping baby's cheek. "I can't stand the thought of her not staying this way forever."

"That's too bad, because if there's one thing children are good at it's scraping their knees, bruising themselves and falling on their face" Eleanor said. "Now hand her over to me and relax a little."

She reached over and took the baby. Blair was reluctant but didn't fight her off. Eleanor got up from the bed and smiled at the baby, gently rocking her back and forth.

"You, my little princess, are coming downstairs with Grandma' to finish your nap. Mommy needs a nap too because she's gone a little crazy."

"Can't she at least stay in here?" Blair complained.

Rather than answering Eleanor gently put the baby down in her carry-cot. Then she walked over to the bed and made Blair lie down before tucking her in. She sat down on the side of the bed and ran a hand through Blair's hair.

"Since you're so worried about your little girl, you can perfectly understand that right now I am worried about mine" she said softly. "Close your eyes, relax and go to sleep. Your child will be with me and Dorota and nothing bad is going to happen to her."

She leaned in and gave Blair a kiss on the forehead. Then she rose from the bed, grabbed the carry-cot, turned the lights off and left the room.

Less than a minute after her mother had closed the door Blair pulled the comforter down a bit and sighed heavily. She was tired, but couldn't relax. Eleanor had done nothing to ease her worries. Blair knew her mother had tried, but the speech on how children get hurt and get sick and how it's a natural part of life didn't seem so reassuring coming from someone who had been an active contributor to her daughter becoming bulimic.

At that thought Blair sat up in bed, heart racing. What if she ended up that way too? What if the baby developed an eating disorder in the future because of Blair's lack of parenting skills? Or if she developed the drinking and sexual habits of her father because neither Blair nor Chuck had any reliable parenting instincts? Or, heavens forbid, she ended up trying to kill herself like Eric? How could anybody expect Blair to go to sleep when she had all of this to worry about?

The more she thought about it the more anxious she got. She hadn't even thought along these lines since the baby's birth and now it was overwhelming. There were so many little things she might do wrong, or Chuck might do wrong, that could screw their daughter up for life. Things she wouldn't even realize could damage the child until after the fact.

The outlook sure was bleak. If the baby somehow miraculously survived into adulthood without having to suffer through horrible diseases or injuries she might still be screwed up thanks to her parents.

She got out of bed and walked over to her writing desk. A few post-it notes had been removed but the majority were still there. She grabbed a post-it stack and began to write some new ones. "_Learn about diseases_" was quickly slapped down on the desktop cover, followed by "_Learn about injuries_" and "_Read up on the not-to-dos. Again._". She felt a little better having at least made sure she had reminders to read up on everything that might possibly harm the baby and walked back to bed. Perhaps now she could get some rest, knowing that while she couldn't do much right now she could get right on it in the morning.

Another thought hit her and she sat up straight again. She threw the comforter aside and hurried out the room and down the stairs, where her mother was chatting with Dorota in the kitchen, the baby observing from her carry-cot sitting on the counter.

"SIDS!" Blair cried when she reached the kitchen.

Eleanor and Dorota fell silent for a moment, surprised by Blair's appearance.

"What?" Eleanor then said.

"SIDS" Blair repeated. "Oh my God, the baby could die of SIDS!"

"Who is Sid and why would he kill baby?" Dorota asked after another few seconds of complete silence.

"No" Blair snarled. "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome! It's the kind of thing that happens suddenly and indescribably to infants. Do you happen to know any infants? Because I do and mine is basically living with an axe waiting to fall over her head!"

Eleanor shook her head slightly and walked over to Blair, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Blair. Your baby is not going to die from SIDS."

"How can you be sure of that? It's called _Sudden_ Infant _Death_ Syndrome. As in _suddenly_ they _die_."

"That is a rare occurrence" Eleanor pointed out.

"So is getting Bart Bass to smile or Chuck to show concern and she's managed both of those within her first week. She's practically a magnet for rarities."

"Relax" Eleanor said. "If you spent less time worrying about things you have no control over and more time trying to get some sleep your child will be much better off."

"How can I sleep knowing that my child might die in _her_ sleep at any given minute?"

Eleanor sighed and gently eased Blair back towards the stairs.

"Go up and go to sleep. The baby is _fine_. Dorota and I will keep an eye on her, like I promised. You can't take proper care of her if you don't get your rest so shoo!"

"Just let me check her pulse and temperature before I-"

"Go! Up the stairs with you, get into bed. Go."

She waved Blair up the stairs with a firm frown. Blair cast a glance towards the baby but then reluctantly complied. Though she wasn't going to go lie down, that much was for sure. She walked back into her room and started up her computer, determined to read up on this new threat to her baby. Knowledge was power.

Ten minutes later she felt more terrified than ever. She wanted to run back down to her mother and Dorota but had a feeling she would only be forced back upstairs again. They clearly weren't taking these dangers seriously, which made relaxing all that more difficult. She grabbed her phone and called the baby's father.

"Waldorf" Chuck's voice said on the other end. "Missed me already?"

"Chuck the baby's practically dead already!" she cried.

"What? Blair what's going on?"

"I'm reading up on SIDS and I'm telling you, it's bleak. Turns out we didn't have to worry about being ready for parenthood or our lives changing forever, because as it turns out, SIDS is more common in children born by teenage mothers!" There was a long pause on the other end. "Chuck? Hello, are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry, just looking for my Bluetooth…"

"Seriously Chuck I'm scared."

"Is the baby acting strange? Does something seem to be wrong?"

"No, but that's the thing with this threat. It comes without warning."

"I guess it would, given what the S stands for…"

"Yes, thank you" Blair said. "Mom and Dorota seem to think I'm crazy for being worried about this when the baby's doing fine. The whole point is that babies do fine and then suddenly they just die."

"It occurs in about one out of two thousand babies" Chuck said, glancing at his laptop screen. "Those odds are reassuring."

"Yeah but it's more common with children born to teenage mothers."

"It's also more common in baby boys than girls so many that evens it out a bit?"

"You've read up about this?"

"I'm doing a bit of online research as we speak."

Blair groaned.

"This is the most frightening thing yet. There is no way we can protect her from this because they don't know what causes it."

The tone in her voice was alarming Chuck a bit. He seemed to have inadvertently triggered some overly over-protective side of her earlier in the day and now she was driving herself crazy worrying about things that might be fatal to the baby.

"You know…" he said calmly. "It usually happens between the ages two to four months. Which means that it's not something you need to worry about when the baby's not even _one_ month old. And Basses are a strong breed. My uncle Jack had some infection or something when he was a baby and he survived that. I'm sure our kid can survive her first year too. And her second, third and so forth. I can't lie, she might not survive her hundredth. But by that time I plan on being six feet under anyway so I think at that point it will be more like a happy reunion than a tragic occasion."

"You really think she will be okay?"

"I do" Chuck said. "I'm more worried about her mother."

"I'm fine Chuck."

"You could be better."

"I'm… sleepy."

"You should crawl into bed then. Get some rest."

"I know" Blair snarled, getting tired of people telling her what she already knew.

"And once you're under the covers you can relax, knowing that while the baby might die from SIDS it won't happen today or tomorrow or next week. For now you can relax."

"Yeah okay" Blair said. "Fine, I'll go to bed and I'll try not to think about it."

"There's a good girl. And by the way… I'm sorry about dragging you out to the park earlier today. If you weren't ready then I shouldn't have insisted."

"It was probably just as well you did" Blair said. "And I did have a good time. Baby slept like a princess in the fresh air."

"You go do the same, and I'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Thanks Chuck."

"Not sure what you're thanking me for, but you're welcome."

She hung up and turned her computer off. She took a deep breath and sighed before she got up and walked back to bed. Chuck was right. She didn't have to worry about this just yet. She might as well try to get some rest and save her energy for when she would have to start her several months long vigil.

She yawned big and got under the covers again. Even though she was exhausted she couldn't seem to get any sleep.

When Eleanor shook her awake to feed the baby she had only been asleep for about twenty minutes.

* * *

Someone told me that "pram" is a British word and "baby carriage" is the American equivalent... I figured "eh, whatever" and went with both ;)

And if you thought Blair was a little crazy here, the latter half of this chapter is loosely based on someone I know who went a little over the top when she was sleep deprived. It seemed like a fun thing to combine with Blair's desire to be in control of things. She will get back to normal... eventually ;)

Thanks for reading. Please review =)


	23. Chapter 23

For starters, thank you to all who voted in the poll. It wasn't even almost a close one, 82% thought I should change the name. So thus I have, and I will be editing the previous two chapters ASAP to correct it. There might be some elements in this chapter that don't seem to make all that much sense, but those will hopefully be explained in the edits of chapters 21 and 22. I want to thank those who voiced their opinion. Thanks to those who thought I should keep the name for your encouragement, and thanks to those who thought I should change it for your honesty.

Since I have to leave for work in about three minutes I won't say much else before I leave you to the next chapter (and I haven't had a chance to read through this update so I can only hope it's coherent). This update ties in with the previous chapter, thematically it's pretty much just a continuation. Hope it will be enjoyable anyway.

* * *

"So, I did a little shopping for the baby" Serena announced with a happy smile and placed a series of bags on Blair's bed. "I figured I should use my strengths to help you out, and what can I do better than shop, right?"

"Did you happen to buy a manual for how you learn which cry means what?" Blair asked through a yawn.

"No, but I did get some really cute outfits" Serena smiled, lifting up a tiny little sailor dress. "What do you think?"

"It's so cute" Blair exclaimed.

"Isn't it?"

"My girl will look _adorable_ in this!"

"And I got a cowgirl outfit, overalls that look like a teddybear, and they even had this tiny police uniform, which I know fits better on a boy, but it was too cute to resist!"

"S, you know she's a human being and not a doll, right?" Blair said. "No on the cowgirl, no on the teddybear and no on the police uniform."

"Well, I did get some regular clothes as well" Serena said, not letting her good spirits be broken.

"Thank you" Blair smiled.

"And I got her a little bumblebee, because I thought it was cute, and because I've heard that yellow is the first color a baby can see."

"It's really cute" Blair agreed, and walked over to the crib with the plushie. "You really didn't need to go out and buy all this stuff" she said as she placed the bumblebee by the sleeping infant's feet.

"I'm happy to do it."

Blair shot her a smile. She then gazed lovingly at the baby for a while. She was really glad the baby had turned out to be a girl. Dressing a girl was so much more fun than dressing a boy, plus she had a feeling she would have much more in common with a girl. If the baby had been a boy he would probably have teamed up with Chuck against her after only a few years and left her behind to go off and be a boozing, sexing delinquent like his father.

"Oh, and the piece de resistance…" Serena said. "I got her this bib."

Blair looked up. Serena held up a white bib and smiled widely. Blair walked over, grabbed it and studied the text written on it with large pink letters.

"'_If you think I'm cute you should see my aunt_'" she read. "You must shop at the same stores as Chuck. He got her a sweater that says: '_I got my good looks from Mommy, 'cause Daddy still has his_'."

"Aw, B" Serena smiled. "Take it as a compliment."

Blair snorted. Serena just smiled and began to lift up a few outfits from her bags. Blair took a seat on the bed with the sailor outfit in her hands, studying it thoughtfully.

"I wonder who she will turn out to be" she said. "Nate loves sailing… Do you think the baby will love sailing?"

"I think the baby will develop her likes and dislikes completely independent on what Nate likes" Serena replied. "Chuck's interests might affect her more."

"I wasn't saying that Nate is going to influence her" Blair said. "It's just that the sailor outfit reminded me of how much Nate loves to sail, and it made me wonder what the little one will love doing."

"Laundry, I hope, given the size of her wardrobe when she's not even a month old."

"She will love couture" Blair said, getting up from the bed. "That's a given. I'm more curious over other interests. God help me if she turns out to be a tomboy."

"Why, what's wrong with a tomboy?"

"Nothing" Blair said unconvincingly. "It's just… I'd rather have a little princess who likes ponies and puppies and fairies than a tomboy who thinks dirt and soccer and jeans are some of the best things life has to offer."

"B, I don't think any daughter of yours will ever even come in _contact_ with dirt and soccer. Or jeans."

"True, if I have a say in things, but you know how rebellious children can be."

"If there wasn't a baby caught in the middle I would have so much fun watching you and Chuck butt heads over these kind of parenting issues" Serena said with a chuckle.

"What issues? You think Chuck's going to be buying her soccer gear or encourage her to take up mud-wrestling?" She grabbed a lip-gloss from her dresser and began to apply it in the mirror. "That's one of the great things about having this baby with Chuck. We think alike when it comes to things like that."

"I think it's great that you're starting to admit that there are perks with being my stepbrother's baby mama."

Blair looked surprised, caught off guard by the comment. She hadn't thought in those terms but Serena, perched on the bed with a happy smile on her face, had said it as if it were completely obvious.

"I… I'm not sure what you mean" Blair said and busied herself with studying one of the outfits Serena had bought for the baby.

"Yes you do" Serena said. "And I really do think it's great. You guys are going to have to get along over the next lifetime or so, and the less I hear about Nate and the more I hear about Chuck, the better."

"Please, you make it sound like you want me to date him" Blair said, getting a funny feeling at the pit of her stomach while she folded a cashmere onesie.

"I wouldn't necessarily go that far" Serena said. "Actually I definitely wouldn't go that far. You and Chuck cranking up the relationship drama? Probably a frightening concept under normal circumstances, and with a baby involved it might be world-ending."

"Duly noted, I will stay away from apocalyptical relationship upgrades with Chuck Bass" Blair said. "Still, it's so weird to think that come what may Chuck will always be a part of my life. Most people lose touch with the friends they had growing up. I always imagined we'd go off in our separate directions and then on some high school reunion or big society event or something I would run into Chuck and spend an evening being thoroughly entertained by him telling me all about what he'd been up to in the past ten years. Now no matter what I do with my life he's going to be there."

"Well even without your daughter, he is my stepbrother" Serena pointed out, flipping through a magazine she had found on Blair's nightstand. "He would probably be part of your life forever anyway."

Blair raised an eyebrow.

"Because we all know that when Lily marries someone it really is until death do them part" she remarked dryly.

"Actually I think this one might stick" Serena said. "She seems really focused on making things work with Bart, and he seems to be in it one hundred percent too."

"I'm not surprised _he_ is in it for the long haul" Blair said, folding the last outfit. "Baby's grandmother died seventeen years ago. That's seventeen years as a widower before tying the knot again, even though we know he's had girlfriends."

"Hopefully Chuck is the same way" Serena said. "You know, the type who plays the field but when he falls for someone the feelings _last_? Chuck hasn't been serious about anybody yet, but when his first love comes along she might very well end up his only love, and you won't have to worry about your baby having a whole parade of stepmothers."

Blair was happy Serena couldn't see her face as she walked over to the dresser to put the new outfits with the rest of the baby clothes. Unbeknownst to Serena Chuck had already had his first love. Or first serious crush at any rate. Blair was fairly sure he still had some sort of feelings for her but didn't know how deep they went, and she most certainly didn't know how she felt about Serena's little theory.

"I also think your little baby is doing wonders for my mother's marriage" Serena went on. "Seeing this new side of Bart, the one that can actually be softened by the presence of an infant, somehow makes him more human."

"Knowing Lily that may be the kiss of death" Blair said, trying to sound casual as she sorted the outfits in the drawer. "She likes _powerful_ men, doesn't she?"

"Pretty much, but I think she's got a soft spot somewhere for men with a softer side. After all, she did love Dan's dad."

"Serena!" Blair complained. "Are you suggesting that my child is making Bart Bass find his inner Humphrey? That is the most horrible thing you have ever said."

"I'm just saying it's nice to see him with a facial expression every once in a while" Serena said, looking up from the magazine with a smirk. "Now wake that baby up and put her in one of the outfits I brought. I want to see my little niece dressed to the nines!"

"Let her sleep" Blair said, lying down on the bed and yawning. "In fact, why don't we all go to sleep for a while?"

"Yeah that's why I came over. To take a nap with you and the baby."

"Well I apologize if I don't feel like living it up" Blair said dryly.

"You always seem so tired" Serena said, kind of complaining. "You see women out with babies all the time, having coffee, going shopping, looking like they've got a ton of energy."

"Their babies' ages are probably measured in weeks, not days" Blair replied. Then she groaned. "Ugh, I don't think I _can_ sleep right now though. She needs to be fed in about half an hour anyway and I've got a lot on my mind."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"No" Blair sighed.

"When the baby has nursed, then can we change her outfit?"

Blair gave Serena a look, then gave in with a sigh.

"Fine."

"Great" Serena chirped and bounced off the bed to go pick something out. Blair groaned again and suddenly wished Serena hadn't stopped by for a visit.

"Oh, and you really need to pick a name for her" Serena said, trying to decide which outfit would be the cutest. "We can't go around calling her Baby forever."

"She's less than two weeks old" Blair pointed out. "Not all people manage to pick the right name at the first sight of their child."

"You had nine months before she was born to decide on something."

"I've told you, we wanted to meet her first."

"You've met her. Now name her. Poor thing can't go around without a name for weeks, that's undignified. Plus it really frustrates her aunt that she can't buy cute baby stuff with her niece's name on."

"S I know we need to find a name, but whenever Chuck is here it always seems like there are too many other things going on to have the name talk."

"Just sit down and talk about it" Serena said. "You must have some idea what name you want. We used to love coming up with names for our future children."

"Wildly tossing ideas every which way is one thing" Blair said. "Whatever we decide on is going to be her name forever. No do-overs. It needs to be perfect."

"B seriously, you're giving this way too much thought. Just pick a name you both like and you can't go wrong, now can you?"

"The problem isn't finding a name we like, the problem is agreeing which name is more her." Blair tried to explain. "I want to name her Grace. It's beautiful, it's both classic and classy, it's timeless… She will be sharing her name with Grace Kelley, who was both one of Hollywood's greatest actresses and a princess, thus combining two of the things I love the most. Golden age Hollywood and royalty."

"Ah yes, two of the most important factors to consider when you name your baby" Serena said with an entertained smirk.

"Chuck on the other hand has got this weird thing for Hope. He's never really been able to tell me why, just that he likes it."

"Gee B, I wonder what significance the name _Hope_ could possibly have" Serena grinned, thinking it was cute that her stepbrother had enough concern for the baby's future that he would suggest a name like that.

"I don't really mind the name per se" Blair said. "It's not exactly preppy, but Chuck keeps dismissing most preppy names anyway, claiming that teenagers don't give their babies such names. Hope is pretty, not _too_ common… but it just lacks the… well, grace of Grace."

"So at this point it's a clash of the egos? You each have decided what you want to name her and neither one wants to back down?"

"I've been giving a lot of thought to agreeing to Hope" Blair admitted. "Like I said, I don't really _mind_ the name. Chuck has been talking about it since before she was born. Perhaps if he gets to give her the name he really likes he will feel more connected to her."

Serena studied Blair carefully. The tone in her best friend's voice surprised her. Blair sounded concerned. If Blair was considering letting Chuck name the baby Hope for the reasons she had just given then clearly there was a lot more than just indifference there between them.

"Go with Hope then" she said softly.

"But I still like Grace better" Blair complained. "I know we need to make a decision real fast. It just frustrates me that when I look at her I can't make up my mind. I really thought that I would be able to make this decision by simply holding her and calling her by both names, but neither one just clicks."

"I have to agree" Serena said, peering down at the sleeping baby in the crib. "She could be either a Hope or a Grace. That's a good thing though B. It means either one would work."

"Is she awake?" Blair asked.

"Nope, still soundly sleeping. Come on B, why can't we wake her up now?" Serena asked, reaching down to touch the baby.

"Serena, you wake her up and I will call Chuck and have him light a couple of matches in your closet before you get home" Blair said sharply. "Let sleeping babies lie."

Serena made a face but obediently walked away from the crib. She slumped on the divan and pouted. What was the point of coming to visit her little niece of the baby insisted on sleeping all the time?

"So fashion week is coming up" she said. "Are you excited to get a night away from diapers and baby wipes in favor of the glitz and glamour of the Eleanor Waldorf fashion show?"

"S I won't be going."

"What? But B, it's tradition! You and I always spend the fashion show backstage."

"We didn't last year" Blair pointed out. "You were still at boarding school. And we won't this year because there is no way in hell I'm spending a single moment surrounded by a bunch of bony, gorgeous models who don't have bags under their eyes and who smell like Dior perfume not eau de Spit-Up."

"Oh come on B" Serena said.

"I'm serious! Besides, I can't leave the baby for hours on end. She eats like a pig and does so roughly every three hours."

"So bring her. That will give all the models something to envy _you_ over. Most of them are probably too skinny to even have babies themselves."

"Yeah right" Blair snorted. "I should bring an infant backstage at a fashion show. Not only will my mother be annoyed that she's in the way, or needs a diaper change, or starts to scream but how do you think a tiny little baby is going to react to all that noise and stress? What if some brainless model decides to pick her up and then drops her? She and I are staying put. But if you want I can get you front-row seats at the show. I've realized I need a project in-between the baby stuff and school so I've told Eleanor I'll do the seating chart for her."

"Blair we always spend the show _backstage_."

"You didn't seem to think it was that big a deal last year."

"Okay fine" Serena sulked and rose from her seat. "I should head home."

"Oh, so soon?" Blair said with faked dismay. She was quite relieved to hear Serena would be leaving so Blair could get some peace and quiet, and hopefully some sleep.

"Yeah I should get home before dinner."

"It's four-thirty" Blair pointed out.

"Well I promised Mom I'd help her make dinner."

"Lily doesn't cook."

"See you later, B."

Blair frowned, surprised by Serena's sudden hurry. She then shrugged it off, having more important things on her mind. Serena walked out the room and headed for the elevator. She had been looking forward to visiting her best friend but it didn't quite seem the same these days.

* * *

"Good afternoon Dorota" Chuck said later that day, walking towards the staircase.

"Oh, Mister Chuck" Dorota said. "You might not want to go upstairs yet."

"Look, I really don't care if she's nursing" Chuck sighed. "Granted it feels wrong to see breasts used for that purpose but it won't scar either one of us for life."

"Miss Blair not nursing. Miss Blair being in mood" Dorota said, rolling her eyes at the last statement.

"Excuse me?"

"Today she worries baby has deficiency."

Chuck frowned and shrugged, not having the faintest idea what Dorota was going on about. He walked past her and headed up the stairs for Blair's room. He had spoken with Serena just half an hour ago when she had gotten home from visiting the baby and she hadn't said a word about Blair behaving oddly.

He walked inside her room without knocking, since he didn't want to risk a knock waking the baby up if she was sleeping. Blair barely cast a glance at him, striding back and forth in her room with her phone held firmly against her ear.

"Hey" he said but she angrily shushed him. He rolled his eyes and repeated his greeting in a loud whisper.

"Hang on" she said. "I'm on hold."

"So why the need to shush me?"

He got no answer. He strolled over to her bed and slumped down on it, waiting for her to hang up. Angrily she waved him off the bed.

"Who are you on hold with anyway?" he asked as he got up again.

"I cannot believe this" she gasped, staring at her phone with disbelief. "I got cut off! Thrown off the line!"

"Traumatizing. Who were you calling?"

"I was _trying_ to get a hold of the Surgeon General but apparently he's _much_ too busy to be bothered with the wellbeing of my child."

"The Surgeon General?"

"I'm worried the baby might not be getting enough vitamin D" Blair complained, tossing the phone on the bed. "The books don't seem to agree on how much a baby needs, the Internet is no help, I need an expert opinion."

"Are you serious? Her diet consists of your breast milk. I'm fairly certain mother nature is capable of assuring that the milk contains everything an infant needs."

"Not if I'm not getting enough vitamin D" Blair argued. "I need to manage _my_ diet to make sure she gets everything she needs. Stop sniggering. Do you _want_ our only child to get rickets?"

"No..."

"Then make yourself useful and pull some Bass strings and get the damn Surgeon General on the phone for me."

"Blair I'm quite certain that her doctor will be able to tell you if she's got any deficiencies long before it will cause irreparable damage. In fact, if there is any risk of you not eating enough vitamin D to pass enough on to the baby, wouldn't your doctor have gotten you some… vitamin drops by now, or something?"

"Not good enough" Blair argued. "I want to make sure she's getting everything she needs in order to assure maximum health. She'll never walk on a runway, nor be able to wear a short skirt even, if she's got deformed legs."

"Well, one way of preventing that from happening is for you to give up your dream of her working in a coal mine or a sweat shop four or five years from now" Chuck said, amused by her freak-out.

"Clearly I am the only one of us actually concerned with her well-being" Blair snarled. "_You_ almost got her attacked by a mosquito."

"What doesn't kill her makes her stronger, and how exactly did I almost get her attacked by anything? Relax Waldorf…"

"It's just hard Chuck" Blair sighed, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "It's like the universe is plotting to destroy our baby. Have you any idea how many things there are out there that may kill her or maim her or make her life so much more difficult than it has to be? Things she should eat, things she should _not_ eat, things we should do as parents, things we shouldn't do… It freaks me out."

"Easy there" Chuck said, peering down on the sleeping baby in the crib. "She looks okay to me. She's going to be just fine. I never pegged you for the type to believe all the doomsday messages the media keep yelling about all the time. True there are a million things that can kill a small child-"

"Great help."

"But a lot of those things are one in a zillion. At least for a baby living on the Upper East Side with a trust fund the size of a mid-sized country's annual budget."

"That only makes it more scary" Blair argued. "It means things can sneak up on us because we're lulled into a false sense of security."

Chuck glanced up at her and then turned his eyes back to the baby, giving the tiny little cheek a caress.

"She will be okay" he said.

"You think I've gone completely nuts" Blair concluded.

He walked over and sat down next to her, close enough so that their legs were pressed up against each other.

"You haven't gone completely nuts" he said gently. "You're just concerned."

"My mom thinks I've gone nuts. And I can see Dorota rolling her eyes at me when she thinks I can't see her. You might as well admit that you think they're right."

"Well, you may be a touch… _zealous_ about your concerns" Chuck said diplomatically. "Though who am I to judge? You're probably insanely hormonal and sleep deprived and God knows what else."

"Thanks" she said sullenly. "Everybody thinks I'm going over the top and acting crazy. That I'm not cut out for this type of thing, and I think they're right."

"What, are you crazy?" Chuck said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Blair I wish I had had a parent like you. Maybe if my mother had lived and had any of those qualities, or if Bart had had his parenting files properly installed I would be more well-adjusted. The baby is lucky to have you for a mother."

Blair sighed and rested her head against his shoulder.

"I can't relax Chuck" she said. "I keep worrying about whether or not I'm taking proper care of her, and I keep being scared that I will turn my back for one second and something bad is going to happen."

"Maternal instincts."

"Cranked up to eleven, according to Mother. I'm just constantly on edge. Clearly I'm lousy at ths. I can't even decide on a _name_ for her."

"That's not just you, though."

"I can't relax and I'm not sleeping well, even though I'm so sleep deprived that it should be considered a miracle that I'm able to sit up straight and have a conversation."

"Okay…" Chuck said and moved up on the bed until he was lying down, leaned against the headboard. "Here. Come here."

"What are you doing, Bass?" Blair asked warily.

"Just trust me" he said. "You're right, you do need to relax."

He motioned for her to join him at the head of the bed and with a tired sigh she scooted up. She stretched out on her back next to him and then rolled over on her side, facing him, while adjusting her pillow.

"Now what?"

"Now take a deep breath, close your eyes and just relax."

"I've tried that before" she pointed out dryly. "Doesn't help."

"You're having trouble relaxing because you feel like you need to be on alert all the time to assure the baby's safety. You don't have to think about that right now. I will make sure no trolls creep in and steal the baby from the crib, I will pick her up if she begins to fuss and basically whatever else you're concerned about I will be on guard for."

"You'd stick around here doing nothing while I sleep?" Blair questioned.

"Not doing nothing. Guarding the baby."

She pondered it for a moment. He ran his hand down her back and caressed her carefully, testing the waters. She didn't object to his touch, instead she leaned closer to him and curled up with her head at the crook of his neck. He smelled so good. Like a normal person rather than like baby spit-up.

"I don't get it" she said. "What's in this for you?"

"I believe it's called parenthood" he said. "Or some strange version of it. I really don't know what I can help you out with so I try whatever I can think of. I know I can help you relax and let you get some well-earned sleep. And since the baby is mine as much as yours you can count on me defending her from threat and evil just like you would."

"You sound so sarcastic when you say that."

"I do find some of the stuff you worry about rather silly. But the baby dying or being maimed would kind of suck, so I'm with you there. Point is, you can relax. I won't go anywhere until you wake up again."

"You will be bored out of your skull" Blair protested meekly through a yawn.

"I keep hearing how we're over-stimulated these days, with our phones and computers and all that" Chuck replied. "Perhaps it's good for me to be bored for a while."

Blair didn't protest further. She wrapped an arm across his chest and closed her eyes, drifting off almost immediately. He could feel her whole body relax with an exhale and a smile crept across his face. No he wouldn't be bored laying there with her while she slept. He knew it was pathetic, but he rather enjoyed just being there with her. He was well familiar with the cliché of watching somebody sleep and resolved not to keep his eyes on her, but stole a few glances here and there anyway.

They stayed that way for almost two hours, both Blair and the baby fast asleep. Then the baby woke up and began to cry and Chuck gently eased Blair off him and got up. He heard Blair groaning and sitting up on the bed while he walked over to the crib and lifted his little daughter up.

"How do you feel?" he asked Blair softly, the baby having quieted once she was lifted from the crib.

"How long was I out?" Blair asked, rubbing her eyes.

"I think almost two hours."

Blair's jaw fell a little.

"Two hours? And you just… lay there?"

"No, I guarded the baby." He turned to the infant. "Isn't that right?"

"But you just stayed on the bed right next to me and didn't move?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Oddly enough, you are one of the few guys I trust _wouldn't_ have felt me up in my sleep" Blair said and moved to the edge of the bed.

"I prefer feeling you up when you're awake and responsive."

"I know" Blair said with a tired smile. "God, I feel like I could sleep for at least another twelve hours."

"I think the result of feel-ups past would like to have dinner first."

"Here, give her to me" Blair said. "And get me that pillow over there on the chair."

Carefully he handed her the baby and then he grabbed the pillow. He sat down right next to her, where he had seen Dorota sitting before when she nursed. He wondered if Blair would say anything but she didn't seem to mind his presence. He had never been this close when she had nursed before.

"There's a good girl…" Blair said gently when the baby began to feed.

"Does it hurt at all when she does that?" Chuck had to ask.

"Not so much anymore. The first few days I was ready to kill you."

"Me? Why, you've never complained when _I've_ done that."

"Don't be crude" Blair said. "I did sort of take most of the negative stuff out on you during the first few days. I didn't want to start her life by complaining about the things that were negative about having her, so it felt more right to blame you."

"I really don't appreciate being your constant punching bag."

She looked up, slightly surprised.

"I'm sorry" she said genuinely. "I didn't… I… It just felt so wrong to say anything negative about her, you know? It was easier to direct the annoyance and frustration towards you, the person who helped make her. For whatever it's worth, I did also recognize that I wouldn't have a beautiful little baby if it wasn't for you. And… I kind of like her jaw."

"She's a real pushover" Chuck told the baby, caressing her head.

"By the way I think she's gotten her feeding habits from you" Blair said. "No way I would have ever stuffed myself the way she does."

He laughed a little and shook his head.

"Just you wait Waldorf. I'm going to feed her _carbs_. And food that actually contains _fat_. I will be relentless and not rest until she's a size four. Or bigger!"

"Very funny" Blair snorted. "Okay I think she's done with dinner. Go get Dorota."

"We should give that woman a raise" Chuck said, getting up from the bed. "How much is appropriate to pay the woman who takes care of your child's dirty diapers?"

"She gets to take care of _our baby_" Blair said, giving him a look. "Is that not reward and payment in itself?"

"I guess it is. "

He walked off to get Dorota and Blair shifted the baby to burp her.

"God sweetie, I'm completely wiped" she yawned. "I slept great but now I want more. Do you think Chuck would mind if I go to sleep the minute he sets foot here in the afternoons? He's not here to hang with me anyway."

The baby burped and Blair made a face. She couldn't wait until the infant had become more in control of her bodily functions, and above all more aware of social conduct. And perhaps at that point Blair could get a real good night's sleep.

Chuck returned with Dorota, who took the infant from Blair.

"Might as well go get new diaper ready" she said to Chuck before heading out.

Chuck sat down next to Blair and studied her in silence.

"What?" she asked.

"You really do look like you could go right back to sleep and not wake up until the baby's first birthday."

"Sounds lovely" she said in a resigned tone. Then she laughed. "If you had told me a year ago that I would now be sitting here saying things like that while Dorota changes my daughter's diaper in another room, I would have told you to lay off whatever you're smoking before you get _permanent_ brain damage."

"Well if you ever need me to be on baby-guard duty while you sleep again…" he began, then realized he might be starting to sound a touch too whipped and pathetic. "Give me a call and I will try and schedule in for a nap somewhere between now and November. Sound good?"

"You know what, honestly, I think I might take you up on that right now. Knowing there will be at least one day before Christmas when I can get a few hours of really good sleep sounds like heaven."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head as he got up.

"I think you'll sleep just fine tonight. No harm will come to her."

"Even I know my fears are a touch irrational" Blair said. "There's no way of rationalizing away irrational fears."

"You're just freaking out because you like being in control, and now you're in a situation where you have very little of it."

"Thanks for the analysis, Dr. Phil."

"You put too much pressure on yourself" Chuck said. "You should be more like me. Demand nothing from yourself and suddenly everything you do is a better achievement than expected. For the record, nobody thinks you're a bad mother."

"I think I'm a bad mother."

"Nobody cares what you think. Bye now Blair."

He walked out and Blair sighed a little. She wished he could have stayed longer. She liked having him around. When had she become someone who liked having Chuck Bass around more than just hanging out with any other friend?

* * *

So that's that. I have actually decided on the new name… I just thought it would be kind of fun to write it this way as a jab at myself for how the whole thing ended up. Update will follow by the weekend, hopefully, and in that chapter the name will be official. Now I really have to run or I'll be seriously late! Please review =)


	24. Chapter 24

This chapter is pretty brief =) It's pretty much in the same style as the last three chapters, but I hope it's entertaining rather than boring. It also takes place maybe a week or so after the previous chapter so by now the baby has a name.

* * *

It didn't take them very long to fall into a routine. Chuck stopped by after school and stayed for a while under the guise that he wanted to bond with the baby. Truthfully he didn't really care much about that, but it was a good excuse to be around Blair, who by and by seemed to be at better spirits. Each day he stayed a little longer, and by the time their daughter was three weeks old he was starting to really enjoy these visits. The best part was that Blair seemed to be enjoying them too.

On the afternoon of the day Grace turned twenty-one days old Blair and Chuck were laying together on the bed, the baby in-between them. Everything was nice and peaceful, the baby had been fed and changed already and she had slept for five straight hours the evening before so Blair felt a touch more relaxed.

"I can't decide if she's the ugliest thing I've ever seen or the cutest thing I've ever seen" Chuck said, studying Grace closely.

"Well she is a mix between the two of us, so I would say that's a pretty reasonable dilemma" Blair replied.

"At least her head is no longer cone-shaped."

"I can't believe you're still going on about that" Blair said. "Yours probably was too when you were born."

"Could be… Bart doesn't seem to have any pictures from when I was that age, or at least none that he's willing to share, so I guess we'll never know."

"You could just ask him."

"I don't care that much."

Blair reached out her finger to the baby, who took it and looked over at her mother while she kept kicking around.

"She really is adorable" Blair smiled.

"If somewhat fidgety."

"She's basically only been able to control these arms and legs for three weeks. Give her some time to get used to it."

The baby yawned and Blair laughed lovingly.

"I could just eat her up…" she said, giving the baby's cheek a kiss.

Chuck smiled slightly. The baby was cute and all, but he still didn't feel like a _parent_ to her. Not the way Blair so clearly did. He was curious to see who she would turn out to be, and he did take an interest in her development. It just wasn't the kind of attachment and love he always heard people say you felt for your children.

He should probably feel guilty that right now Grace was mostly just his excuse to get to be around Blair, but he couldn't be bothered feeling any guilt. It's not like the baby was aware of why he was there anyway, or that she would ever remember that he _was_ there once she got older. If his presence mattered at all in her life then all the impact came from his physical presence. The baby was too little to pick up on things like the reason why he was there. She was barely even aware that she had feet.

Still these moments were nice. Just him and Blair, and the person who would forever bind them together. Something special he shared with Blair which nobody could ever take away. He once again felt extremely relieved that the baby hadn't turned out to be Nate's. The thought of Nate being the one who got these intimate moments with Blair filled Chuck with jealousy. If that had been the scenario then it would probably not have taken more than a few days before Blair and Nate were back together.

Grace closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep. Blair looked up at Chuck and had a look of naked honesty on her face.

"Chuck, I wanted to tell you I'm really sorry about everything the day she was born" she said with seriousness.

"I'm not sure I follow."

"How I wished she was Nate's" Blair reminded him. "And my reaction when I saw that she clearly wasn't."

"Ancient history" Chuck said. The last thing he wanted was to go down that road.

"No it's not" Blair argued. "And I really am sorry. That must have been hurtful. I know you care about the baby."

Chuck didn't answer. Instead he just looked down at the baby instead of looking at Blair. He wasn't even sure _what_ to answer. Was he supposed to thank her for apologizing? Hand-wave it like it was nothing? He didn't have a clue what she expected from him.

"For what it's worth…" Blair continued. "I'm happy that she's yours."

He looked up at her, surprised.

"I just wasn't ready to let go of my fantasy once and for all" she said. "Grace being yours means that there will never be a Nate and Blair again. Letting go of the future you've imagined for yourself since kindergarten is difficult. But I was wrong to hope she was his. You were the one who was there for me. You cared about me and you cared _for_ me. Where the hell was Nate when she was still in the womb?"

Chuck still didn't answer. He was glad to hear she was happy the baby was his, but he didn't want her to be happy because she felt he _deserved_ to be the father. Not because it seemed appropriate that the paternity test had proven he was the one who had fathered the child. He wanted her to be happy because she wanted to have a child with him.

"Besides," she continued, "you know how fickle Nate is. I don't think he was ready to be a father. He kept telling me he loved me but then he fluttered over to Serena or had his head in the clouds or God knows what else… What if he had been the same way with the baby? For the past couple of years I haven't been able to feel like I could rely on him and I would hate for my daughter to feel the same way. With you, I'm not worried."

"Then you're an idiot" Chuck said. "Everyone else seems mighty concerned."

"Everyone else doesn't know you like I do" Blair argued. "You may be blasé and reckless towards most people on the planet, but when you care about someone you treat them differently. I've always suspected that the day you met someone you truly loved you would be there for them one hundred percent. With you as a father my daughter is in good hands. Because who will you love if not her?"

Blair smiled at him but he didn't smile back. He wondered what she would say and think if she knew the only person he had strong feelings for was the mother, not the child. He also wondered if she had completely forgotten that he loved Nate, yet he had betrayed him, and the evidence of that was sleeping in-between them this very moment.

"And…" Blair continued, looking down for a moment, "it actually does feel really nice to know that you and I have this baby together. You're not just anybody to me Bass. You've been my friend since forever, and there is this connection between us. A spark, some form of weird magnetism that brings us together. I know you feel it too. Maybe it's nothing more than sexual attraction, but it's there, and in all honesty I like looking at my daughter and seeing a bit of you in her."

"Thank you" Chuck said. "I would hate for you to look at her and be annoyed that it's my features you see."

She smiled and he had to fight the urge to lean in and kiss her. He wanted to go back and discuss what she had just said about a spark between them, but he didn't know how to do so without showing too much of his own emotions. He knew she was in an emotional state right now and maybe she wouldn't feel the same way about him in a few weeks time? What if it was just the hormones, something chemical that made her feel drawn to her baby's father?

And what if he made a move now, and she responded, but regretted it later? He didn't want to risk taking advantage of her emotional state. Even if she was truly sincere, and she did feel more for him than he had suspected, he wanted them to come together when they were both sure that it wasn't happening because of hormones or because of an emotional time.

Half an hour later Dorota came up to see if they wanted something to eat. She stopped at the threshold and smiled. Then she picked up the camera she always carried with her now, to be able to document everything that happened with the baby.

She walked closer to the bed and took a picture, thinking to herself that she would one day have it framed and give it to Grace, perhaps on her eighteenth birthday or at some other special occasion. It was an endearing sight, which she really thought the little girl deserved to get to see one day.

The baby was fast asleep, and so were her parents. They had fallen asleep the same way they had been laying while they talked, one on each side of their child, their faces close to the baby. In his sleep Chuck had wrapped an arm around Blair, and she had her knee resting on his leg. Together the three of them looked like a proper family.

* * *

Neither Chuck nor Blair brought up the things she had said again. Chuck was worried she didn't really mean it and Blair was worried about his lack of reaction. Both put their guard up a little, and kept conversations away from more sensitive subjects. Chuck continued his daily visits, and Bart came over every few days, probably to monitor the baby's progress as much as to just spend time with her.

About a week after their conversation on the bed Chuck came over for his usual visit and found Blair doing her nails in the bathroom. She seemed rather low, as she quite often did. He put her things down on her nightstand and went over to see if the baby was awake.

"Hey little girl" he said to her when his eyes met hers. "Another busy day of literally shoving your foot in your mouth?"

"She's awake?" Blair asked, and came out from the bathroom.

"Yeah" he said and gently caressed the baby's cheek with a finger. "How's learning to control your limbs coming along for you, Grace?"

"You always ask her the weirdest questions" Blair said.

"And what about you?" he said, looking up at her. "How's postpartum depression coming along for you?"

She stopped.

"I'm not suffering from postpartum depression."

"I think you are" he argued. "You don't seem quite like your old self."

"The baby eats more or less every three hours, remember?" she said. "I haven't slept through a night in forever. Not to mention the fact that I _had a baby_. That kind of takes its toll on you, just so you know."

"Yeah but it's more than that. Blair I know you're feeling down. Dorota told me."

"She _what_?"

"Don't get mad at her. I asked and she told me because she thought it was the right thing to do. Come on, it's not like it's uncommon, or that it makes you any less of a mother."

Blair sat down on her bed and didn't meet his eyes. She was feeling a bit depressed, but she didn't attribute it only to the fact that she had delivered a baby just a month ago. True, being a new mother was a big part of it, she was having more trouble adjusting than she wanted people to know and her hormones seemed to be all over the place. But there was something more going on. She couldn't quite put her finger to what it was. Her thoughts and emotions were at a turmoil, and like so often before the reason behind it was a boy. A year ago her head and her heart had been trying to figure out what she should do about everything with Nate but right now she was mostly preoccupied with thoughts of Chuck.

As if she could ever tell him that. She couldn't let him know how she thought about him far too often, and missed him when he wasn't there. It was embarrassing, really. She had just had a baby and shouldn't be thinking about guys right now. She shouldn't have the time or energy for it. The fact that her mind refused to stop spinning around the subject made her feel like a poor mother. Hello, she had more important things to concern herself with!

"I just…" she said tentatively, wanting to tell him something but not the real truth. "I'm tired of being cooped up in here and I'm starting to feel like a prisoner. The only people I ever see are my mother, Dorota, the staff, you and Serena. And Bart and Lily. I miss going to school, I feel like I'm missing out on so much."

"So why don't you get out more?" Chuck suggested. "Take the baby out for a walk."

"I do" Blair said. "The thing is though I'm practically _chained_ to her. I can't leave her side for more than a couple of hours because she's feeding so often."

He nodded, understanding better than she thought. He couldn't imagine having to be stuck with the baby all the time. Whenever he got tired he just headed back home. Slowly he walked over to her and sat down next to her.

"For what it's worth… I'm proud of you."

"That means a lot coming from a Bass" Blair said dryly.

"Honestly Blair, I expected you to hire a nanny and let her do the bulk of the work. All the late night feedings and all of that… You're really doing most of this yourself, you're being a _mother_. Even though you have the money to hand the baby over and try to live your life as normally as possible. You're doing good."

She smiled faintly.

"You have no idea how many times a day I _want_ to hire a nanny and just pawn her off" she admitted. "But I can't. If I do that then it's like admitting that I was just some irresponsible bimbo who got knocked up. I need to show everyone, including myself, that I can be a mother. That I made the right choice in keeping her."

"You're doing a wonderful job" Chuck said.

She smiled halfheartedly.

"So what news from school?" she then asked. "Serena tells me everyone is busy preparing for the college visits. She's going to Brown on Friday."

"Yeah I heard. Lily thinks she should consider Yale, since they sent her a personal invitation, but you know my sis."

Blair looked pale.

"Yale sent Serena a personal invitation?"

"Yeah, you… You didn't already know that?"

"Oh, _now_ I am depressed" Blair moaned and fell back on the bed. "Serena gets everything handed to her on a silver platter, and by the way has a lot of inappropriate sex without ending up with a baby. While I'm stuck here nursing the diaper princess every few hours she will be off winning _my_ spot at Yale."

"Did you not hear me say she's going to Brown?"

"Probably won't matter. Yale will want her anyway, because she's _Serena_. Chuck my whole future depends on Yale and I can't even go to the campus visit."

"So? We'll schedule you an interview some other time" Chuck said. "Or ask my father to step in. He can pull a string or two for the mother of his grandchild."

"But I don't want Yale to accept me because I gave birth to Bart Bass' grandchild" Blair objected.

"Does it really matter _why_ you get in?"

"It does. Haven't you ever wanted something or someone to accept you because they deem you good enough on your own merit, and not because someone paid them off or you happened to have a baby with the right person?"

Chuck looked down. He had indeed, and the person he wanted was on the bed with him right this minute.

"I understand better than you know" he said.

"Goodbye Yale…" Blair sighed. "Hello never going to college."

"There are other schools."

"Not to me there aren't."

He studied her in silence for a moment. She truly looked depressed, and he could have kicked himself for bringing Serena's Yale invitation up in the first place. He'd assumed his sister would have told Blair about it, but now he realized she had kept her mouth shut for a reason. He was glad he hadn't said anything about his own plans to visit Yale this weekend.

"Look, maybe it's not completely impossible for you to make it this weekend" he said after some consideration.

"Yes Chuck, it is" Blair said. "I can't leave my baby for more than a few hours, let alone an entire weekend. And it's Dorota's weekend off so she can't come with."

"What if we go together?" he said. "I will look after the baby while you're interviewing with the dean of admission, and while you're touring the campus…"

She sat back up.

"You would do that for me?"

"What, look after my own child?"

"I'm serious Chuck, you're not kidding are you?"

"You need to get out of this room" he said. "Out of this penthouse. If Yale is your dream, and I know that it is, then why waste an opportunity?"

A smile spread across Blair's face.

"Oh my God Chuck!" she squealed. "I could actually get to go to Yale this weekend! Yale! And, when Grace gets older I will get to tell her that her first visit to Yale was at only four weeks of age!"

"You're going to make her every bit as obsessed with this school as you are, aren't you?" Chuck deduced.

She more or less bounced over to him and threw her arms around him, ignoring his comment about the baby.

"Thank you Chuck! Thank you, _thank you_."

"No need to thank me" he said, hoping she would keep hugging him nonetheless. "You look after _our_ baby all the time. Me looking after her for a few hours one weekend is hardly asking much. We're supposed to share the responsibility, as I recall."

She kissed his cheek and hugged him again, before getting off the bed and hurrying out to tell Dorota and her mother about the newly made plans. He watched her go and smiled. He had had his sights set on the Skull and Bones for a while now, but he couldn't believe this hadn't occurred to him until now. Going there with Blair, giving her the chance to have her interview, coincided very well with his own agenda. All he needed was someone who could look after the baby for him while he lured the Skull and Bones in.

* * *

I was initially torn between renaming the baby Grace and renaming her Hope but then I realised the main reason why I would have chosen Hope was that I liked the idea of Blair agreeing to the name to help Chuck feel more connected to the baby. I figured I could cover that just as easily by simply having her talk about it in the last chapter. So Grace it is (probably with Hope as a middle name). Last name Waldorf.

With any luck I will have another update before Christmas. I have a couple of days off work right before so I'm actually aiming to update as many stories as I can. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review and let me know what you thought =)


	25. Chapter 25

This chapter marks the return to the installments where I borrow from the show. I'll leave it up to you to guess the episode ;) I don't know how many more chapters like these I will be doing, but at least a few from season two are on my list of candidates.

A number of people have asked me why Grace's surname is Waldorf and not Bass. My own reason for going with Waldorf is that where I'm from babies get their mother's last names by default so it seemed natural to me that the baby would be a Waldorf when Blair and Chuck aren't married. The in-story reason is an agreement Chuck and Blair made (mentioned in a previous chapter) that they would name the baby Bass if it turned out to be a boy, and Waldorf if it turned out to be a girl. Hope that answers your question =)

* * *

"I can't believe I'm actually here!" Blair gushed as Chuck met up with her on Yale's campus. "It feels like coming home."

He smiled at her excitement. Her interview was in an hour, and judging by the looks of her she was more than prepared. He hadn't seen her look this great in a while. She was wearing makeup for the first time since the first day of school, her hair hung loose down her shoulders and when he saw her dressed up in prim and proper clothing he noticed that she had lost quite a lot of her pregnancy weight already. Her figure wasn't back to normal quite yet, but if it wasn't for the baby sleeping in her carry-cot which Blair held firmly with both hands, nobody would have guessed she had given birth only a month ago.

"While I'm giving my interview you will stay here on campus with the baby, agreed?" she said, taking her eyes off the surroundings for a moment to look at Chuck.

"Or I could just take her back to the hotel, get her away from the crowds."

"I don't want her to be too far away" Blair said. "Just stay close. In fact, stay put. Exactly where I leave you. Don't go wandering off with her."

"You do realize that I am capable of watching my own child for more than fifteen minutes at a time?" Chuck said.

"I will have a much easier time concentrating if I know exactly where she is."

Chuck didn't bother arguing any further. They walked together through the campus, trying to ignore all the people who stared at them and the baby. After a while Grace began to fidget and Blair stopped underneath a tree to lift her up from the carry-cot.

"I'm curious…" Chuck said. "You've never changed a diaper in your life. How are you planning on getting through the weekend?"

"It's not a weekend, it's one night" Blair argued. "And, Dorota made me practice every time she needed changing yesterday. It's completely gross but Yale is worth it."

"Let's just hope she won't need changing while she's with me" Chuck said. "I wasn't too good at it at that parenting class."

"Well she's been fed and changed already, so hopefully she'll make it until after my interview is done" Blair said, gently bouncing the baby. "Otherwise I'm sure you'll be able to find some dimwit female student who would just love the chance to help you out with such a beautiful little baby."

Chuck sat down on the grass and stretched out. He wasn't actually worried. Blair would be leaving in thirty minutes, and shortly thereafter his nanny for the day would arrive. He had paid one of his father's servants, who had three kids of her own, to look after the baby for a while during the day. Hopefully Blair wouldn't find out about it.

When it was time for Blair to leave she put Grace back in the carry-cot and checker her appearance in the mirror she had in her purse. Chuck wished her luck and watched her go. He then impatiently waited for Emma, babysitter du jour, to show up.

Twenty minutes after Blair had left for her interview he walked alone through campus, waiting for the Skull and Bones to grab him. He didn't have to wait for long.

* * *

Blair looked up and arranged her face in what she hoped was a charming smile when Dean Berube opened the door and shook hands with some other girl he'd just been interviewing. To her delight Blair noted that the girl hardly seemed like Yale material. There was something quite public school about her. Not classy enough.

The dean turned to Blair and returned her smile.

"Miss Waldorf" he said. "Shall we?"

"Yes certainly" Blair said with her sweetest voice and got up from her chair.

The dean held the door open for her and she walked inside, taking a seat where he instructed her to. Dean Berube took a seat on the edge of his desk and held up the essay she had sent along with her application. She had written it before she even knew she was pregnant, and now she couldn't help but wonder if it would have been better or worse if she had written it after she found out about the baby.

"I have to say your application is most impressive, Miss Waldorf" Dean Berube said. "There's just one thing I'd like to know."

Blair swallowed. Here's where he would ask something that would lead to her talking about the baby.

"Tell me something about you that isn't in that packet."

Blair hesitated.

"Not in there?"

"Do you like to drive racecars? Can you cook authentic Szechuan?"

Blair was at a loss for words. Was he kidding?

"Well, truth be told…" she began, not really knowing what to say. "Cooking and driving is rather far down on my list of priorities at present. But as my application clearly shows, I am very much invested in a variety of activities. My extracurricular activities really do speak for themselves."

"Yes but what do you do outside of all of that?"

"I stay at home" Blair said frankly, giving up on trying to figure out what the dean wanted to hear. "With my month-old daughter."

She cringed inwardly. Dean Berube looked floored.

"Your… month-old daughter?"

Blair forced the smile back on her face.

"I'm aware that I haven't mentioned her anywhere in my application" she said. "I sent it in before I was even pregnant, you see. But as you can clearly see my grades have not been affected at all. I have worked very hard to make sure of that."

The dean looked skeptical. She wanted to slap herself for wording it like that.

"Of course, without neglecting my daughter. She comes first." Blair swallowed. "And so does school. The two sort of… come together."

Now she was sure she cringed outwardly. What the hell was she even saying? She wasn't making any form of sense whatsoever.

"I see…" the dean said, clearly not seeing at all.

"What I mean is… Having a baby girl only made me more motivated to get a good education. I want to set an example for her, and secure her future. She is my extracurricular right now, my main preoccupation outside of school. I study and I take care of my baby and… and being a parent has really taught me so much about responsibility." She felt like a complete moron. "And tradition."

"Huh" the dean said, eyeing her skeptically. "And your… husband… is supportive of your desire to study?"

Blair felt like she was going to be sick. Why did she have to mention _tradition_? Her baby's parentage was not exactly traditional in the way that Yale would approve of.

"We haven't gotten married" she simply said, hoping he wouldn't ask any further questions about the father.

"Well is your _boyfriend_ supportive of your desire to study at Yale?"

Realizing she might as well just come clean Blair prayed that the smile would still look genuine as she spilled the next sordid detail.

"We're not together anymore" she said, knowing that sounded like a tacky teenage pregnancy cliché but at least it was better than '_we were friends with benefits_'. "We're still very good friends though, and yes, he is supportive. He knows that Yale is my passion and my dream and he agrees with me that coming here to study will benefit both me and our child." She made her smile a touch wider. "But enough about him. I assure you, that being a mother will not be a hindrance. In fact, I believe it will be an asset. I am more motivated now than I have ever been before and I believe that every step along the way since I first found out about my daughter has helped me to grow as a person, and has taught me many valuable lessons."

She steered the conversation over to her passion for Yale and the fact that her father was an alumni, anything she could think of that would impress the dean and take focus off of the fact that she had a baby and that the baby might get in the way of school.

To her relief it seemed like the dean was actually listening with some interest, and for a second she began to believe that she had managed to charm him into thinking about her as _Blair_, as a possible student at Yale, and not a young mother.

Then an uncomfortable look came over his face. She paused and tried to figure out what was wrong.

"Dean Berube… is there something the matter?" she asked.

"You're, uhm…"

He gestured towards her chest and then looked away. Blair looked down and almost groaned audibly. This was just fantastic. She was lactating, and had leaked through her cardigan. Far from how she had wished to make an impression. There was no way the dean would forget her now, the girl with breast milk on her clothes, but in all likelihood all it would make him think of was how she should probably be staying at home with her baby instead of going to study at a place like Yale.

"Dean Berube I am most sorry" she said, desperately trying to think of a way to cover herself up, or clean the milk off. "This almost never happens! I nursed her just over an hour ago, and… I'm really sorry. I feel completely mortified."

The dean got up and walked over to the other end of the room where he picked up a Yale sweater. He handed it to Blair without looking at her, and she gratefully put it on, even though she had a feeling he thought she was violating the grand blue sweater by leaking breast milk all over it.

"Tell me, where is your daughter now?" the dean asked her.

"She's here on campus" Blair said. "With her father. She's in good hands."

* * *

"Chuck Bass" a voice said as the hood was lifted from Chuck's face. "Heir to Bass Industries. Champion of the legendary Lost Weekend. Rumor has it you've slept with more Maxim covers than John Mayer."

"And better, I might add" Chuck smirked, earning a chuckle from most of the gathered college boys.

"If our intel is correct you're our prime candidate from next year's class" the Skull and Bones leader continued. "Except one small detail…"

"There's nothing small about me" Chuck retorted dryly.

"It appears you have left the playboy party lifestyle behind you to stay home and change diapers" the leader smirked. "Skull and Bones is not the Babysitter's Club."

"I have a daughter" Chuck confirmed. "What of it? Does it upset you to know that my virility has been proven while yours may still be doubted?"

"It just seems a shame that someone with such an excellent resume should tarnish their record with something as banal as being stuck with a kid in high school."

"The kid is no concern of yours" Chuck said. "My lifestyle changes if I say it changes. Laying low on the party scene this past month has been a choice."

"See that's what worries us" the leader said. "Has Chuck Bass gone soft and decided to cancel his ascension to greatness in favor of cooing with a bastard baby?"

"If I had, you wouldn't have been able to get me here" Chuck retorted.

The leader smiled. Chuck was getting the feeling that he was merely teasing him, attempting to make him feel humble and in a position where he needed to suck up to these college brats. He knew they wanted him, but they didn't want him to think he had a smooth sailing ahead. Chuck could barely contain a grin. They were hardly masters of manipulation.

"As I said before, kids out of wedlock aside, you appear to be clear-cut Skull and Bones material" the leader continued. "But we don't take anything on hearsay. We need to know firsthand if you're as good as you're advertising. And if your recent sidetrack into parenthood is going to be a distraction."

Still with a smirk on his face Chuck stood up and looked at the guys around him.

"Well, I come prepared. How about a little private party to kick things off?"

The leader shared a look with one of his sidekicks and smirked right back at Chuck.

"What did you have in mind?"

* * *

Blair stepped out of Dean Berube's office and hurried for the nearest restroom. Once she got inside she pulled the Yale sweater off and inspected the damage in the mirror. She nearly cried when she saw that she was lactating on both sides, like some damn milking cow. She grabbed some paper towels and shoved them into her bra, in a futile attempt to have at least some of it dried off.

She stared at her face in the mirror and wanted to just disappear from the face of the earth. True she had been able to cover the dark rings under her eyes with makeup, and her hair was perfectly styled, and for once she didn't smell like baby vomit. But all of that had been for nothing as her body had betrayed her and probably grossed the dean out completely.

Now all she wanted to do was retire to the hotel room she had gotten for the night and nurse the baby. Hopefully after Grace had eaten she wouldn't be lactating through the clothes she had to change into.

She got out her phone and sent a quick text to Chuck.

"_Where R U?_"

After a few minutes she got an annoyingly ambiguous answer.

"_On campus._"

Growling with frustration she stuffed some more paper tissues inside her bra, ignoring how uncomfortable the paper was against her sensitive skin, and then put the sweater back on. Chuck had better show up as soon as possible with the baby, so she could nurse her.

She walked back out into the hallway and headed for the exit, cursing to herself over how she would never get into Yale now. The best she could hope for was the dean encouraging her to apply again when her child was older.

She hadn't gotten far when her phone rang. Thinking to herself that it had better be Chuck she answered with a quite annoyed: "_Yes_?"

"Miss Waldorf?" dean Berube's secretary said on the other end.

It took Blair a second to gather her wits and find her words.

"Yes…"

"The dean would like to invite you to his house for an intimate gathering this evening."

"A… An intimate gathering?" Blair stuttered.

"That is, if you are available."

"Oh yes!" Blair exclaimed. "I've never been more available in my life! It would be my honor to attend!"

She hung up the phone and practically skipped for joy on the spot. Things could not have gone so terribly if she had been invited to the gathering. Now all she needed was to make sure Grace was fed, and that she had somewhere around fifty pads in her bra to soak up any renegade milk, and she would be all set.

But first she had to find Chuck, and thereby find the baby. She walked outside and hurried down the path in front of her. She found Chuck almost immediately, at the exact spot where she had left him, leaned against a tree with the baby sleeping in the carry-cot by his feet.

"Chuck!" she exclaimed. "Thank God you're where you're supposed to be. We have to go, I need a change of clothes."

"Change of clothes?" Chuck echoed. "Don't tell me Yale has a casting couch."

"Very funny. Actually I need a change of clothes because I was stupid enough to sleep with you and then I had a baby so now I'm leaking through my clothes. In front of the dean no less. You have no idea how humiliating that was."

She picked up the carry-cot and hurried down the path towards where her car was parked. Chuck followed her, curious to hear how things had gone.

"So you messed up your interview? Because of _that_?"

"Actually I didn't. In fact I think it went quite well. Dean Berube saw that I am strong-willed and dedicated and that motherhood works in my advantage."

"Are we still talking about your breasts?"

"Oh for crying out loud. Stop being such a perv and listen. I need you to look after the baby tonight."

"No can do, sugar" Chuck replied. "I've got plans."

"Cancel them. _I've_ got plans and they outrank yours."

"Says who?"

"Says the fact that I've already put my future here at risk my pushing your offspring through my privates so you're going to make it up to me."

"I will make it up to you tomorrow" Chuck said. "Tonight I'm busy."

"I am talking about something that is crucial to my future. And by extension, to Grace's future."

"Coincidentally, my plans will also be of service to her."

"Chuck please" Blair said as they reached the car. "The dean invited me to the gathering at his house tonight."

Chuck paused.

"You got an invitation?"

"Yes. And you _know_ how important that is."

He hesitated. He had spent too much time and energy planning for this. He couldn't just drop it like a hot potato. But this was Blair's chance, and she was right, she was hindered enough as it was. On a selfish note he didn't want her to go to Yale, he wanted her to go to whatever school he went to so that they'd be in close proximity to one another. On another note he wanted her to have her dream. He knew she had worked for it and he knew it would make her happy.

"You should brush up on George Sands" he said and opened the car door for her. "In case the dean asks follow-up questions."

She gave him a smile that was 'thank you' enough. She got in the car and he followed, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this one.

* * *

That evening Blair arrived at his hotel room with a sleeping baby and an excited smile. Chuck couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Nice outfit" he said. "Conservative, yet youthful, and the black really helps hide the baby weight."

"Did you just call me fat?"

He chuckled and held out his hand for her to hand over the carry-cot. Blair's smile had faded somewhat but she handed the baby over and adjusted her purple headband.

"She's been fed and changed, there's an extra diaper in the bag, and since she spent the last two hours screaming at the top of her lungs I think she's also quite tired" she said. "Enjoy."

"Have a great night" he said before closing the door.

"Oh I intend to" he heard her reply before the door closed.

"So do I" he mumbled to himself.

He put the carry-cot down on the large table and checked his phone for any new messages. He then went and changed into something more fitting for the evening, including a bowtie with tiny skulls on it, casting a quick glance at the baby to see if she was still asleep before he ran a comb through his hair.

Fifteen minutes after Blair had left there was a knock on the door. He hurried over and opened the door to a somewhat disturbed Dorota.

"Mister Chuck you said emergency" she said. "I come at once. What is wrong? Where is Miss Blair?"

"Oh she is out for the evening" Chuck said. "I called you here because I needed someone to sit with the baby while _I_ go out."

"Why did not Miss Blair call?" Dorota asked suspiciously.

"I'd love to stay and chat but you're five minutes late" Chuck said, checking his watch. "Baby's been fed and somehow changed, don't tell Blair you were here, I've got to go."

Before Dorota could protest he was out the door, off to his Skull and Bones gathering. All he needed to do was make sure he would get back before Blair did. An educated guess based on the baby's feeding habits told him he had roughly two hours.

* * *

Twenty minutes later he found himself back where he had been earlier that day, except this time instead of the room being in complete darkness it was suggestively lit for a party. His kind of party. A party that would show them once and for all that if there was one thing Chuck Bass had not done it was gone soft.

He had to admit he was disappointed in the locale. Especially the throne which the leader sat upon. A throne? Really? Well at least these fellows were predictable. The girls he had brought were clearly pleasing them. He couldn't help but wonder if this was their first experience with anything orgy related. And they thought _they_ had anything to teach _him_.

Of course their leader refused to be overwhelmed. Chuck had known it wouldn't be _that_ easy. He was curious to hear what the real test would be. Not that it really mattered to him whether or not they found him worthy, but he was starting to get the urge to really show them who was the master here.

The leader walked slowly over to him.

"You still need to prove your loyalty" he said.

Chuck's face remained unchanged. Whatever they wanted, he hoped they weren't pathetic enough to drag the baby into it.

"We want Nate Archibald" the leader said. "We know you're tight with him."

Chuck laughed. So much for their intel. A simple visit to Gossip Girl would have told them that Nate and Chuck had barely spoken in about nine months, and while these guys hardly were the types who frequented high school gossip blogs Chuck knew that if you googled his name, or Nate's for that matter, Gossip Girl would be one of the top hits.

"We know he's on campus" the leader continued.

"Archibald's not worth your time" Chuck said, not really caring about the whining from these guys about how the Captain had cost them this and that.

"Pull him in" the leader said. "Take him down. You've got one hour. You want in? You'll bring us Archibald."

Well that seemed simple enough. Not much of a moral dilemma there. Chuck signaled to one of the guys to turn off the music. Then he got out his phone and called Nate's number, hoping he would pick up. He did, but he didn't sound too happy.

"Always the sunshine, Archibald" Chuck said. "Don't tell me you're not enjoying your stay here at Yale."

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm actually leaving tonight" Nate said on the other end. "Apparently Archibalds are no longer welcome at Yale. Vanderbilt or otherwise."

"Look before you leave there's something I need to talk to you about" Chuck said. "Are you still on campus?"

"On my way _off_ campus. This place called Mike's bar. I need something suitably strong, and I need it away from here."

"Great, I'll meet you there."

"Why would I meet up with you anywhere?" Nate snorted.

"Because I have to tell you something."

"Where are you now anyway?" Nate asked.

"Doesn't matter. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"I ran into Blair earlier" Nate said. "She told me the baby was with you. You're doing a hell of a job parenting. Were you planning on bringing the baby to the bar?"

"None of your concern" Chuck said. "Just meet me. For old friendship's sake."

"Fine" Nate said. "But you're paying for my drinks."

"Fine, just stay put."

"Okay."

He hung up and Chuck looked up at the Skull and Bones guys.

"It's done. Let's go."

He walked outside together with the Yale boys. Now all he had to do was find a suitable Nate substitute and he could be back at his hotel room sending Dorota off within the hour. Dan Humphrey was on campus, he would be a satisfying sacrificial lamb. Nate would probably be furious that he had called and asked for a meeting and then not shown up, but it was the better alternative. Nate would probably thank him later, and if he didn't, well things couldn't get much frostier anyway.

* * *

An hour and a half later Blair walked back into the hotel, still trying to figure out how the evening had really gone. Dean Berube had seemed impressed with her answer to his question, and she had done her very best to charm and impress every important person in the room. But she had found herself distracted, wondering how Chuck was doing with the baby. She had never been away from Grace for more than two hours in the past, and she was constantly fighting the urge to call him and check up on the baby.

She knocked on his door, eager to see her little girl again. When he didn't open she frowned. Was he out? It was far too late to be taking the baby out for a stroll. She knocked again, more forcefully, but still no answer. After counting to twenty without hearing any sign of movement on the other end of the door she opened her bag and started searching for her phone. Just as she was about to call him he opened the door.

"Sorry" he said. "Bathroom."

She made a disgusted face as if he had shared too much information and walked inside as he held up the door.

"How was your evening?" he asked her.

"Good. I think."

"Was the dean impressed with your answer to his question?"

"Only time will tell I guess" Blair said. "Where's the baby? Has she been good?"

"I guess…"

He hadn't remembered to ask Dorota before he herded her out the door less than fifteen minutes ago. All he had been focusing on was making sure she left before Blair got back from the party.

Blair walked over to Grace and smiled down at her.

"Did you have a nice evening with Daddy?" she asked.

"Look, if you don't mind…" Chuck said. "I'm kind of tired and I'm planning on leaving early tomorrow."

She looked up.

"Of course." She picked up the carry-cot and walked to the door. "Thank you Chuck. I really mean it."

"There's nothing to thank me for" he said modestly and shoved his hands in his pockets. "She's _our_ responsibility, is she not?"

Blair smiled sweetly at him. He hoped to God that Dorota would keep her mouth shut. He had threatened to send one of his PIs to dig up dirt on her and use it against her if she didn't. And he hoped Nate wouldn't call him while Blair was still there. He was far from sure Nate would call at all, but in case he did he wanted Blair gone. As far as she knew he had been in the hotel room for the past two hours with the baby, and he didn't want to shatter that illusion.

"Say goodnight" Blair said, either to him or the baby.

"Goodnight" he said.

She gave a little wave and then she was gone. He threw himself down on the bed and sighed. Tonight had been a little too stressful.

* * *

The next morning Chuck waited just long enough that he knew the Skull and Bones boneheads would have woken up and gathered the troops to try and ambush him. He then casually strolled out the door and awaited the ambush. It took roughly five seconds. A whole group of them came up to him, a few of them grabbing a hold of him so that their mighty leader might speak and intimidate.

"Looks like someone messed up last night" the leader said and made a face. "You sent us after the wrong guy."

"It may have been the wrong guy for you, but it was the right guy for me" Chuck said, not the least bit phased.

"You'll pay for this when you get here next year."

"Oh I'm not coming here next fall" Chuck said, amused that they hadn't figured this out yet. "Those girls I brought to the party last night? They witnessed some pretty incriminating acts with their lipstick cameras."

He watched with satisfaction as they began to realize who was really in charge here. He hadn't been completely dishonest with Blair the day before. This _would_ be helpful to Grace in the future too. He could get whatever favors he wanted for his daughter and these guys would have to comply.

"You may be the future leaders of America but you are now under the control of Chuck Bass. I own you. Looks like Daddy's in charge."

After he left the gang in his wake he walked over to his car, where he found Nate waiting. Unsurprisingly his old friend didn't look too friendly at present.

"Sorry about last night" Chuck offered. "I would have texted you, but you know… I ended up getting my hands full with the baby."

"Did you?" Nate said. "Because as I recall you weren't _with_ the baby last night."

"Look I'm sorry. Ride back with me and we'll talk in the car."

"Not on your life. You never had any intention of meeting up with me last night, did you? You were just using me to further your own agenda."

"What?"

"I know what you did to Dan" Nate said. "What did you do? Did you promise those frat boys my head on a platter to get in to their secret society? And then give them Dan instead?"

"If so then what's it to you?" Chuck asked. "Those guys were coming for you and I saved your ass. You should be thanking me."

"For what? Sending them after Dan?"

"Seemed good to me. Besides, since when do you care about humdrum Humphrey anyway? He's nothing. He's less than nothing."

"I actually think he's pretty cool" Nate replied.

"Shows how low you've sunk" Chuck said after a moment's pause. "I didn't have to save your ass at all last night. I still did. That should count for something."

"No, you didn't have to come here to try and court the Skull and Bones, but you still did. You know, I actually thought that you would grow up a little with everything that's happened" Nate said. "Clearly I was mistaken. Running around trying to get into secret societies when you have a baby to look after? That's real mature Chuck."

"So is bolting on the girl who might be carrying your baby" Chuck shot back. "At least I showed responsibility before we knew whose she was."

"Please" Nate scoffed. "You haven't changed a bit."

He walked off, and Chuck saw him go up to Dan and put his arm around his shoulder. Trying to tell himself that it didn't matter, Chuck got in the car. He was eager to get the hell away from Yale as soon as possible.

* * *

So that's my version of their visit to Yale =) Next chapter... aftermath. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, and if you want to get me something for Christmas then how about a review? ;)


	26. Chapter 26

Hi and happy 2011! I was going to post this before New Years but I didn't have time, so here it is now instead =)

I'll kick off the new year with another really long AN (slash personal rant). So Christmas has come and gone, and with it a couple of days of family time and above all time off from work. For the most part. During my days off a friend and I had ourselves a little GG marathon and now I'm _almost_ caught up with season four. We got as far as episode **409**. And season four, well… Let's just say there were very few episodes I actually liked (and if you are the one person on the planet who is farther behind than I am, beware of spoilers). The whole Eva storyline was especially difficult to get through because I never got if we were meant to believe that Chuck's feelings for her were real. EW sure didn't seem to believe it judging by his acting but the writers kept bringing it up. Anyway, needless to say I very much enjoyed the brief period when C&B were on good terms again but the way **409** ended seemed to imply that Chair is done on the show for a good while ahead. I know a lot of people seem to think that there's been a lot of Chair marriage foreshadowing this season but I didn't pick up on any of it and frankly I don't think the writers are that clever. Then someone was unkind enough to give me spoilers for the spring episodes (I _detest_ spoilers) and those spoilers brought me dangerously close to giving up on this show. Actually I got two separate spoilers, from two separate people, but the other one seemed so incredibly over the top that I don't believe that one. I have at least _some_ faith that the show would never go there, but on the other hand I used to say the same thing about Chuck/Jenny, so what do I know?

I guess it's no big wonder though that I'm losing interest in the show quite fast. I've always watched it for Chair and while I don't need it to be front-and-center in every episode I get bored when there's no Chair at all for too long, and annoyed when they go actively anti-Chair, which they've done far too much in these first nine episodes of the season. On the other hand I'm probably a pot calling a kettle black, given how little actual _Chair_ there is in this story. But hey, in my defense, at least I posted two stories this year which were all about Chair ;)

Okay, I'm done ranting… For now. I'm also done watching the show for a good while I think. I might wait until season four finishes before watching episode **410** and onward. We'll see. At least that way I can watch it all in just a few sittings. Either way I'm done subjecting you to my rants (for the time being at least ;)), so on with the chapter!

* * *

Monday after their visit to Yale Chuck expected Blair to be in a fantastic mood. Instead he found her crying on her bed when he walked in with her homework.

"What's wrong?" he asked, unceremoniously dumping her books on the floor.

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh… You can either tell me now or tell me in twenty minutes after we've danced around the issue. Easier if you just flat out tell me. I thought you had a great time at Yale, and that everything went well."

"It did" she nodded. "Getting out for a day was great. Now I'm back here, just like before. How am I ever supposed to be able to get into Yale if I can't keep up with school? I need to _be there_ Chuck. Not just sit at home and do assignments. My straight As are at risk here, and with them my chances to attend Yale."

He nodded, but didn't know what to say. She asked to be left alone so he checked up on the baby and then left. The next day when he returned she was looking sad, but at least her cheeks were dry.

"I got you something" he said.

"More homework?"

"Not exactly."

He tossed her a large box and she looked at it with incredulity.

"Chuck?"

"You were right yesterday. Absolutely right. You need to get back in the game, back to school. I realize you can't spend all day at school when you have the little one, but it doesn't seem fair that you should miss out on all of it. So I got you a breast pump."

She held the device up and looked highly skeptical.

"What exactly am I supposed to do with this?"

"What the name says. Practically all mothers use them. Just pump before you go to school and then your mother or Dorota can feed the baby while you're away."

Blair still looked skeptical. On one hand it would be amazing to get to skip one or two feedings here or there and have someone else do it. On the other hand she had come to love nursing, it was a moment of closeness between her and her daughter that nobody could match. Passing up on that in order to let someone else feed her baby made her feel a touch jealous.

"It's something to think about at least" Chuck said, sensing her hesitation. "Give it a try. If nothing else it might spare you a late night feeding or two."

"Thanks Chuck" she said. "Getting back to school, at least for a few hours a day, would be quite nice. I'm sure I'd feel a lot better if I got to at least try and go to school."

"Good."

The baby began to scream and he walked over to pick her up. Blair read the instructions for the device and thought it over more carefully. She did get out of the penthouse for an hour or so every day, taking Grace for a walk if the weather was appropriate, but visiting Yale and letting her world be about something other than the infant for just a few hours had felt like a relief. Maybe she could use this thing and let Dorota look after the baby for a few hours every day. Not an entire school day, but maybe at least part of one?

Chuck handed the baby to her and she prepared to feed her the old fashioned way. She was far from prepared to give up on this entirely, but like Chuck had said, one or two feedings every day wasn't all that much.

* * *

Two days later Blair Waldorf returned to Constance Billard. The plan was for her to attend classes from morning until lunch, and then return home. She had rarely been so nervous as when she walked back onto school property, flanked by a very protective Serena. But she was determined to hold her head high and not let anybody think that she cared what they thought of her. She was still Blair Waldorf, and while Serena had been queen for a while now Blair planned on testing the waters and seeing if she had any hopes of ever winning her crown back. If she didn't, she would at least still act like a queen.

When the school day was over Chuck got Blair's things as usual, but made a few stops on the way to the Waldorf penthouse. When he arrived he found that Blair was not alone. He walked into her bedroom to find her enthroned on her bed with a whole court of mean girls surrounding her.

He stopped dead in his tracks. What the hell? Serena had told him that Blair had done surprisingly well today, but he had no idea she had done _this_ well. Somehow she seemed to have reclaimed her position and now sat like some form of Madonna on the bed with her baby in her arms and a crowd of unwise girls substituting for the three wise men.

The girls were all cooing the baby and falling over themselves to tell Blair how adorable the baby was and how lucky she was to have her. Chuck sniggered. These girls had cast Blair aside the moment they had learned she was having a baby. Now somehow Blair was back in charge? How had that even happened?

"Good afternoon…" he said with little warmth.

Blair looked up at him with a triumphant smile. With a little help from Serena, and a lot of determination, she had kept her head held high and made it clear to the mean girls that having a baby did in fact not make her worse than them, it made her a whole lot better. She was now more adult, more mature and had already achieved the goal most of them were hoping to reach at some point in their lives. And, she still looked better than all of them, even with some remaining pregnancy weight.

"Bass" she greeted Chuck, who didn't look too approving.

"Awfully crowded in here" he remarked. "What are all you drones doing here?"

"Visiting the baby" Penelope needlessly remarked. "What an angel!"

"I thought all of you frowned upon teenage mothers" Chuck commented.

"They did" Blair said. "Until they realized that a queen's greatest responsibility is after all to ensure that there is an heir to the throne."

"Tell that to Queen Elizabeth" Chuck snorted.

"Her dynasty ended with her."

"Tragic."

"You can go now" Blair said, turning her attention back to the baby. "The girls and I have a lot to talk about. And it's almost feeding time."

Chuck felt anger well up inside. He was the one who had made it possible for her to even return to school, but she wasn't thanking him, she was throwing him aside. This wasn't just her baby, he had a right to be there if he wanted to be. But apparently her posse outranked him all of a sudden. The fact that she was currently treating him like he was her personal errand boy made him furious. He had thought something real had begun to exist between them; being treated so dismissively felt practically like she had flat out dumped him, even though they weren't even together. But if that was the way she wanted it then fine by him. Chuck Bass was nobody's servant and he would not let her treat him like one.

He walked over to the bed and unceremoniously dumped her books on the bed next to her, causing her to jump slightly.

"Your minions can bring you your books from here on out" he said icily.

She looked surprised, but before she could think of anything to say he had left the room, without so much as a look at the child.

* * *

Blair hadn't thought Chuck meant what he had said. She was very surprised the next day when it was Serena who came over with her books after school. Serena seemed to be kind of surprised too, and a touch annoyed.

"What are you guys fighting over now?" was the first thing she said when she walked through the door.

"What?" Blair said innocently. "Who's fighting? No one's fighting!"

"Really? Then why did Chuck get home so early yesterday and why did he tell me to give these things to your maybe-minions?"

"How should I know?"

"Blair."

"Why must you assume that I've done something bad?" Blair snapped. "Maybe Chuck's just being a jerk, did you think of that? Hello, it's not like it's the most far-fetched theory out there! When you hear hoof beats think horses, not zebras."

"You're both horses in that scenario" Serena said. "And I do think that it's something you did. Because I didn't suggest that it was, you were the one who jumped to that conclusion right away, which ought to mean something."

"I was just having fun" Blair said. "Enjoying my first steps back to queendom. Apparently me having visitors over did not sit well with his royal heinousness."

Serena took a seat on the chair by Blair's dresser.

"That's all?"

"Yes" Blair said sincerely. "And to tell you the truth S, I really needed that. I've been thrown to the bottom of the food chain and that is not a good place for me to be. Finally I was working my way back to the top. It was just one afternoon anyway."

"You did seem quite popular at school today" Serena acknowledged. "You might still have a shot at the throne."

"And you know how important that is to me. Now more than ever. I need a good legacy for my daughter."

Serena giggled.

"B you are the only person alive who could talk about being queen of your high school as something you're doing for your child. How is my little niece today anyway?"

"Screamed all night long" Blair sighed. "You have no idea how much makeup it took to make me look presentable this morning. When I got back home I went right to sleep and I only woke up fifteen minutes ago."

"Can I pick her up?"

"She's having another meal in about thirty minutes. Leave her until then."

Serena threw herself down on Blair's bed, stretching out her long arms and legs.

"Do you really mind coming over with my stuff?" Blair asked.

"Of course not" Serena said. "I just wish you and Chuck could keep the peace for more than a few weeks at a time."

Blair stretched out next to Serena and they stared up at the ceiling together. Blair was still trying to accept the fact that Chuck had sent Serena instead of coming by himself. She really hadn't thought he actually meant what he said the day before. It seemed like a major over-reaction. But maybe he just needed a day or two to get over whatever it was he was trying to get over, and then things would get back to normal.

"B…" Serena said. "When was the last time you watched '_Breakfast at Tiffany's_'?"

"It's been months…" Blair sighed.

"Well what are we lying around here for then?" Serena asked, skipping up and off the bed. "I'll go have Dorota make us some popcorn, you load up the DVD!"

An excited smile spread across Blair's face. Okay, so she didn't get the typical afternoon she had gotten used to with Chuck, but an afternoon with her best friend, watching her favorite movie, wasn't so bad. Even if she would have to pause after just a little while to feed her baby daughter.

* * *

Chuck had really meant what he said. A week went by without him stopping by once, save for Saturday afternoon when Bart had brought him along for a visit. Even then he had been distant and uninterested in talking to her. Blair couldn't figure out what was going on. All she knew was that she missed their daily routine.

One afternoon after Serena had left she was on the bed with the baby, shaking a rattle over the thoroughly uninterested baby's head. It had now been eight days since Chuck had last stopped by after school.

Blair couldn't understand why he hadn't shown up. It was one thing for him to avoid her because he was pissed at her, he had done that with her, with Serena and with Nate over the course of the last seventeen years or so. Blair had still expected him to come and spend time with the baby.

"Do you miss him as much as I do?" she asked Grace, putting the rattle aside and placing a hand on her daughter's belly.

A sad smile formed on her face. She really did miss him. A lot. She had thought several times about calling him but if he wanted to be left alone maybe it was better to just leave it be? It just didn't seem though like he had any reason for staying away.

"Do you think he's thinking about us as much as we're thinking about him?" she asked the baby.

His visits had been the highlight of her day. She had told herself it was just because it was good for the baby to spend time with her father, and because any visit was welcome and his was one she could always count upon. She didn't want to admit to herself that she thought about him all the time and that she always wished he would stay longer, even if the baby was sleeping and there were no more things to discuss regarding school. She enjoyed his company and wanted more of it.

"We have a problem, Gracie" she said. "I need to stop thinking about him all the time. He is dangerously attractive and appealing. I could so easily fall for him."

As if she hadn't already. But when she said those words, Grace's face lit up in a big smile. It was all coincidence, but it made Blair pause in the middle of what was supposed to be a rant about how dangerous it would still be to fall in love with Chuck Bass. Her baby had smiled. She had never done that before.

"Look at you" she beamed. "Little Miss Sunshine, lighting up the room with her smile! Where is my camera?"

She grabbed her phone and quickly took a picture. The baby's first smile. And as coincidence would have it, she had smiled when her mother talked about having feelings for her father. Her little baby girl had just provided her with the perfect opening.

She immediately called Chuck, while making smiley faces at the baby to keep the smile on the little face. Grace was happy to oblige, apparently entertained by this new way in which she could form the muscles in her face.

Chuck answered his phone after six rings.

"What, Blair?"

"Chuck, you will not believe what just happened" Blair said, almost laughing with happiness. "Grace just smiled at me. Our daughter is smiling!"

"Okay" he said. "That's all?"

"It's huge!" Blair smiled. "Her first smile ever."

"Great. I can't really talk right now, I'll have to call you later."

Stunned she was about to object when she heard a female voice on the other end, cooing something about how Chuck should put the phone away and come join the fun.

"Are you..?" she began, but the question was rhetorical.

"Yeah, bye now" he said, hanging up.

Blair stared at the phone with disgust, scoffing at him even though he could no longer hear her. She was with their child, who had just smiled her very first smile, and he was off having a threesome, or maybe a full-blown orgy, and didn't "have the time" to talk. What an unbelievable jerk!

"I can_not_ have feelings for that man!" she declared to the baby and angrily threw her phone to the other end of the room, not caring that it probably didn't feel too good after such a brisk treatment.

The baby looked surprised at the harshness of her voice and the smile went away. Grace turned her head away from her mother and lifted up her foot to put it in her mouth. Blair laid her head down on the pillow and wasn't sure if she wanted to maim Chuck or if she wanted to maim herself. What an unbelievable jerk he was.

A few minutes later Dorota came hurrying into the room.

"Miss Blair what happened? I heard loud noise!"

"Forget it" Blair said.

"Why is phone on floor?"

"I can't believe I for a while there believed Chuck would make a half-decent parent" Blair complained. "I just called him to tell him that Grace smiled for the first time."

"Baby had first smile?" Dorota said with excitement.

"See? That's the normal reaction. Chuck's was somewhat different. Though maybe I'm being too hard on him. He did say he'd call me back once he was done with his orgy."

"Oh Miss Blair…" Dorota said, walking over. "Sometime is different for boys. They don't carry baby and Mister Chuck not here all the time. The bonding takes longer."

"Don't make excuses for him" Blair said. "He's only been here once in the past week. For what reason? Because I didn't have time for him _one afternoon_? What does that even have to do with him spending time with the baby?"

"He just doesn't know how to deal with feelings" Dorota said.

"If you're referring to feelings in general then I believe you."

"Is hard to feel love for someone who does not feel it back."

Blair lifted her head up and looked at Dorota.

"What are you talking about?"

"Mister Chuck has strong feelings for you. When you do not feel back is hard for him. He just needs to lick wounds."

"Okay, first of all, the only thing Chuck has strong feelings for is his penis" Blair said. "Second of all, regardless of how things are between the two of us there's still a _baby_ involved here. Inability to deal with emotion is not an excuse to ignore your child."

Dorota sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Is no excuse" she agreed. "But he is having problem bonding with baby and heart works the way it works. Call him again later. Maybe he's just wanting you to miss him too."

"That's the problem" Blair sighed. "I do miss him."

Dorota eyed her carefully.

"Miss Blair…"

"What?"

"Do you share feelings?"

"Of course not!" Blair spat out. Then she sighed. "I don't know. It's all so confusing. How can I possibly feel something for someone who's a complete ass? Even if he does make pretty great children."

"If you like him then that is good news" Dorota insisted.

"I'm not so sure it is. _You_ say he has feelings for me but nothing he's said or done has proven that."

"I have known Mister Chuck since he was just boy who played with Mister Nate" Dorota said. "He acts different with you now. Looks at you different."

"So what? That doesn't prove anything. Even if you're right Dorota, he's not ready for a real relationship, or real responsibility. The very fact that he hasn't visit his daughter for more than two hours in the past week is proof of that."

Dorota looked away, making a face. There were other things supporting the theory that Chuck wasn't ready for the full responsibility of parenthood, but she had decided not to tell Blair about what had happened at Yale. As much as she disapproved of what Chuck had done, it seemed better to try and keep the peace between the two parents. At least so long as he didn't pull a stunt like that again, but she had to admit that he was getting close to doing just that with this prolonged absence.

"I need to focus on the baby right now and not on trying to convert the world's most persistent bachelor into boyfriend material without even knowing if he feels anything real for me" Blair continued her speech. "He's having an awful lot of sex with other women for someone supposedly in love."

"That is only guess. You don't know."

"I know Chuck. I know that's what he does."

"Coping mechanism."

"Lousy excuse."

"But you have baby together."

"That doesn't mean he's ready to be in a real relationship. I don't even know if _I_ am right now. I've got to think of what is best for my baby."

"What is good for you is good for her" Dorota argued softly.

"I'm not too sure Chuck is good for me."

"I can't tell you whether or not he is" Dorota said. "But if he makes you feel happy then why not be happy?"

"I can't put myself out there" Blair said. "It's too big a risk. The baby has to come first right now. If Chuck does have feelings for me then he should start proving it. He should be here and not with every other girl in New York."

"He has been here" Dorota reminded her softly. "Every day until last week."

"There shouldn't be an '_until_' in that sentence."

Dorota nodded. Blair looked at the baby and gently caressed the jaw line she had so obviously gotten from her father.

"Regardless…" she said. "Maybe I'm just fooling myself with what _I_ feel. Grace looks like him, it's plain to see who fathered her. Looking at him I see some of the features my daughter has. Perhaps I'm just recognizing a person I really love when I look at Chuck?"

"Are feelings for him only about appearance?" Dorota asked.

Blair thought about it for a moment.

"No. His voice, the things he says, the things he does, his smile… The smile can't have reminded me of Grace since she smiled for the first time today. And it didn't look like his smile."

"I understand why you hesitate" Dorota said. "Give it time. If feelings persist then they are real. Like Mister Chuck's are for you."

"Again, speculation. And if he actually loves me he's going to have to prove that to me before I say or do anything to take this to the next level. At this point I'm far from convinced that he's not just playing games and as much as I do enjoy games I have to protect Grace from becoming a casualty."

"You will know what is best to do" Dorota said encouragingly. "Give it time. If I'm right about Mister Chuck you will soon see it too."

Blair smiled faintly. Everything was so confusing. She wanted Chuck to have feelings for her but she wasn't sure she dared to feel anything back. She wished it wouldn't hurt to know that he was with some other girl right now. And with the conversation she had just had with Dorota she wasn't able to convince herself that she was only objecting because he shouldn't be out womanizing when he could be with his baby instead.

"Now, about smile…" Dorota said, changing the subject to take Blair's mind off it. "Did you get picture?"

"Yes" Blair said, her smile growing wider. "Want to see?"

She showed Dorota the picture and then set it as her phone's background image. It really was the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.

"We must send it to Mister Harold" Dorota insisted.

Blair nodded eagerly and sent the photo to her dad. She was about to send it to Chuck as well but then changed her mind. If he wanted to see it he could march his ass over there and ask to see it.

"What do you say I go out and buy cake?" Dorota asked. "Tonight when Miss Eleanor comes home we can celebrate baby's first smile."

"That sounds perfect" Blair said, feeling a little better. "You know what? Why don't we dress Grace up in something nice and we can take her out for a walk, and get the cake while we're at it?"

"I will go get outfit" Dorota said eagerly. "Which one do you want?"

"I think the dark green one with the white lace collar" Blair said, getting up from the bed and lifting the baby up. "Come on, honey. Let's get you dressed. We're going to go out and get some cake to celebrate your first smile. Yeah, Mommy can actually eat cake now that she's breastfeeding and has a good excuse. That's two things to celebrate."

She began to gently take the baby's current outfit off but kept the tights. Dorota handed her the dress she had asked for and Blair got the baby dressed without any hassle. Once the clothes were in place Grace smiled again.

"She is happy baby" Dorota said.

"That she is" Blair agreed, lifting the baby up. "And if her father doesn't care enough to come here and marvel at the wonder then he can go eff himself."

"Miss Blair, you should not say that word in front of baby."

"What?" Blair said innocently. "It's just a letter of the alphabet. I'm imparting wisdom. Aren't I, Grace?"

Dorota made a disapproving face but said nothing further as she followed Blair downstairs to get the pram.

"What kind of cake do you want, sweetie?" Blair asked Grace as they stepped on to the elevator. "Hey how about strawberry cake? Your stupid dad's favorite!"

"Miss Blair" Dorota said sharply.

"What?" Blair said innocently.

"Don't take anger on Mister Chuck out on baby."

"I'm not" Blair lied. "I'm just saying that we should get strawberry cake, that's all. It's Chuck's favorite."

"Should we call him and ask him to come over?"

"Not on your life" Blair snorted. "We're getting strawberry, without inviting him, as a punishment to him."

"And I always worried you would grow up too fast" Dorota said with rolling eyes.

"Save the sarcasm for your blog" Blair said with a frown. The elevator doors opened and she stepped out. "And hurry up, will you?"

"Yes Miss Blair."

"Now Grace, let's go buy some cake. The first something we buy to celebrate an occasion in your life! Dorota make sure we document it in the baby book later."

"Yes Miss Blair."

They walked outside and Blair gently put Grace down in the pram and gave the mobile a little nudge. She had found the mobile at a baby store a month ago and immediately decided that it was a must-have for her baby, as it consisted of a number of tiny little high-heeled shoes. They began to walk down the street and Blair took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air. It had gotten colder now and she had barely noticed until today.

"I bet when she gets older she will have the most beautiful smile in all the Upper East Side" she said to Dorota. "Even if she does have Chuck's mouth. I haven't been able to tell whose mouth that is yet."

"I think you like Mister Chuck's mouth" Dorota muttered under her breath.

"Granted she'll be gorgeous at all times, but I think she'll be the kind of person whose smile lights up a room" Blair prattled on, pretending not to have heard Dorota's comment. "Much like me."

They walked down the street, Dorota pushing the pram and Blair constantly glancing down at the baby to make sure she was okay. Grace was awake, making all sorts of noises, and occasionally flashing the hint of a smile. Blair really wished she could have gotten a better reaction from Chuck. She wanted him to be as excited about this as she was. Did he just not get that the first smile was a big deal?

By the time they reached the bakery she realized that she had forgotten to bring her phone. What if he called? She should be completely uninterested in hearing from him after what he had been doing when she called him, but with every minute Dorota's comments were circling in her mind more and more. She tried to pretend otherwise in Dorota's presence but she couldn't stop her mind from thinking about him.

* * *

Chuck stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He wondered again if he should call Blair back but decided not to. He should probably figure out how to handle all of this first before he actively sought her out again.

He dried off and slipped into his robe before walking out to his bedroom and letting himself fall down on the bedspread. He stared at his ceiling and sighed heavily.

Blair clearly didn't want him. That much was for sure now. She had gone through some hormonal crazy and mistaken that for real affection. The moment she no longer depended on him to get some company he was given the cold shoulder. He should have figured someone like her could never actually have strong feelings for someone like him but it stung like a bitch to get it confirmed. During the first two days when he had stayed away it had been partially to lick his wounds, partially to show her that he was not her doormat and partially to see if she would even care. But she hadn't called him once until today. And today she hadn't called because she missed him, she had called about the baby.

The baby. The other thing weighing on his shoulders. There must be something wrong with him because no matter what he couldn't get it through his head that the little bundle Blair was always cooing over was his daughter. He felt nothing when he looked at Grace. Hell, there were people completely unrelated to the baby who seemed to care about her more than he did. That fact scared him more than he cared to admit. There had to be something wrong with a person who felt no attachment to their infant. This was another reason why he had been staying away for several days. Every time he looked at Grace without feeling like he was her father he grew more nervous. If things kept up this way he might even come to dread visiting her, always feeling that he was letting her down whenever he was near her.

Grace deserved better. Blair deserved better. For some reason he even felt bad that Blair hadn't found out that he had left Grace with Dorota that night at Yale. How was it possible that he had gotten away with that once Nate had realised what was going on? If Blair had found out, and been furious with him for that reason, then that would at least have felt better than what was going on right now. Instead the Yale thing was just one more piece of evidence that Chuck Bass was not cut out to be a parent, and Blair had no idea. She had no idea and still she didn't seem to care much that he wasn't there.

* * *

Blair didn't check her phone again until that evening when she sat down with Grace to let the baby nurse. Grace eagerly latched on and began to eat like a little pig, just like Blair had expected. Once Blair had gotten the hang of how to hold the baby while nursing and a few other minor details the feeding part of the program had been a cakewalk. Grace had quite the appetite, which was either a good sign or worrisome.

While Grace nursed Blair reached her hand over to grab her phone and found she was almost holding her breath when she looked at the display. She had a new message, and a smile spread across her face. But her joy turned to disappointment when she saw that the message was from her father, responding to the image she had sent him earlier.

Blair made a face and looked down at her daughter.

"Grace why hasn't he called yet? He said he would call me back later, and as evident by the fact that I'm sitting here nursing his baby I know all about his sexual prowess. I don't care who he is with or what he is doing to her, by now he's definitely been done for hours."

She glanced at her phone again, feeling miserable. She shouldn't be feeling that way. She should be excited to read what her father had written. Instead she felt her heart sink to her ankles over the fact that it wasn't Grace's father who had sent a message.

"I hate him" she told the baby. "How dare he be all sweet and kind and make me start to fall for him and then turn around and be so… Chuck?" She groaned. "Oh, what's wrong with me? Why did I ever expect anything different from him? It's Chuck. God's vehicle for making sure people on the Upper East Side experience disappointment."

She let the baby continue to nurse and tried as best as she could to put Chuck and his refusal to call from her mind. She told herself that what actually made her angry was his failure to react to this milestone in Grace's life. Deep down she knew that while that was part of the reason, the main reason was her own feeling of rejection and the fact that it hurt to know he was with some other girl.

Once Grace was done nursing Blair gently held her up and looked at her. She bounced her baby gently to get her to burp. Then a hint of a smile spread across her face. To hell with Chuck. Grace had smiled for the first time that day. If this whole thing with not taking notice of big events in their daughter's life was going to be an often occurring thing then Blair decided to counter it by being excited enough for both parents.

"You smiled today Grace" Blair said, giving the baby her brightest smile. "Do you know how big that is? Mommy's big little princess!"

She gave the baby a little jiggle and was rewarded by another smile. Blair began to make happy faces at the baby, occasionally raising her up above her head. Grace seemed very pleased with this new game and it made Blair's heart swell to see the smiles on her tiny face.

She drew the baby closer to her face and gave her a big kiss.

"I love you, chipmunk" she said. "You look like a chipmunk with those big cheeks."

Blair gave the baby another kiss and then cradled her gently in her arms. With one hand she stroke the thick, dark curls on the baby's head. She loved that her daughter had been born with a full head of hair. Boy babies could be bald but girl babies just looked weird without any hair on their head. The pediatrician had told Blair that Grace would not necessarily end up with the same color and hair quality when she got older but Blair hoped she would at least keep the curls. Blair herself had always wished she had more volume to her hair. She suspected that even if the curls went away the color would stay the same. Grace had the same color hair as Chuck so it definitely seemed within the realm of possibility.

"There's a lot of Chuck in you" Blair mused to the baby. "I guess that's all of Chuck that I'll ever get. Not that I can think of anything better, but it wouldn't be so bad to have him play a more active role in our lives either. Like he did up until last week. Seriously Grace, I miss him. He's practically avoiding me at school."

She bit her bottom lip and rested the baby against her shoulder before gently beginning to rock her back and forth. She glanced over at her phone but it remained silent. She was resolved not to call him again. He was supposed to call her and she refused to go running after him.

"If he is just playing hard to get then he's going to find himself never having been gotten" she said. Then she frowned. "You know what I mean."

The baby spat up and Blair made a disgusted face. Then the unmistakable smell of a dirty diaper filled the room and Blair felt even more disgusted.

"Dorota!" she called.

Moments later, but far too long for Blair's liking, Dorota came into the room and took the baby from Blair.

"Miss Blair everything easier if you change diapers yourself" Dorota commented.

"And rob you of precious time with Gracie? That would just be cruel."

Dorota rolled her eyes.

"Any word from Mister Chuck?" she asked en-route to the next room, which was where they kept the changing table.

"None."

Knowing it was wiser not to say anything Dorota left to change the baby. Blair glanced over at her phone again and sighed heavily. She had meant what she had said to the baby. If this was Chuck playing hard to get then he was going to learn the hard way that Blair Waldorf did not give chase unless given a very good reason to do so. Especially not when he was neglecting their daughter. Perhaps she should pursue him, not for her own sake but to get him to spend more time with Grace. But if Bart hadn't been able to this past week then Blair didn't stand a chance. And if this was the kind of parent he was going to turn out to be then it was better that she found out about it now.

* * *

This chapter feels kind of disjointed to me but hopefully it worked anyway. And I have no plans at present of bringing the Yale incident up again so at least for now you could say Chuck has gotten away with it.

Since this is my first update of the new year I would like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been following my fanfics these past twelve months! Your encouragements and tips have been incredibly valuable to me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you take the time to read and review my stories. Hope to continue seeing you in 2011 =)


	27. Chapter 27

Back with another update! This time with a much shorter AN ;) I've been doing changes and rewrites and stuff to this chapter for like a week now and I can't seem to get it the way I want it. I decided to just post it as-is and go back and change it later if I can figure out how to do it properly.

I've been asked how long this story will continue and the answer is… uh, don't know =) I don't have a set ending for it. So I suppose the answer is that it will continue until I lose interest/you all lose interest/I run out of ideas. Whichever happens first!

* * *

"You're home awfully early" Bart said, surprised to find Chuck getting a glass of orange juice in the kitchen when he got home at four o'clock.

"So are you" Chuck noted. "Is it some bank holiday today that I'm not aware of?"

"I thought you'd be with Blair and the baby."

Chuck didn't answer. It was no surprise to him that his father didn't even know he hadn't stopped by Blair's after school in over a week. Lately it seemed like Bart had gotten softer with his PIs and most of what Chuck was up to went undetected.

"Now that Lily and I are married we want to put real emphasis on family" Bart said, putting his briefcase up on the kitchen counter. "Once Serena and Eric get home we're going to have a family gathering, discuss a few ground rules."

"Whatever."

"We're putting more emphasis to our family. You should put more emphasis to yours."

"I'm confused. I thought we had the same family."

"That baby grows up really fast. You should be over there."

"Why don't you leave the parenting of my child up to me, and you can focus on trying to parent yours" Chuck said dryly, taking three large gulps of juice.

"Huh" Bart said. "Excuse me while I go make a call."

He walked off and Chuck took his glass of OJ and sat down on the couch. Bart was suspicious now, that much was for certain. No doubt he would soon come back in the room, all preachy about how Chuck wasn't there for the baby. Chuck hadn't even talked to Blair since she had called him to announce that the baby had smiled. Why was that such a big deal? It was just a smile. It's not like she wouldn't ever do it again.

He put his feet up on the table and leaned back. He was just about to drift off to sleep when his father returned, studying him with a stern look.

"When was the last time you visited Blair after school?"

"You just got the scoop from your PI so why are you asking me?" Chuck replied.

"I honestly thought you were making headway."

"Look, Blair just started going back to school half-time and she's tired" Chuck said, happy to use whatever excuse he could. "I'm giving her some space."

"I think she's had enough space" Bart said, taking a seat. "The baby is six weeks old by now… It's time we started implementing what we discussed prior to her birth."

"You're going to have to refresh my memory."

"Blair having the baby full-time was only ever meant to be in the beginning. Once your daughter gets older she will be spending half her time with you. Now seems like as good a time as any."

"You do realize she's six _weeks_ old" Chuck said. "Her head's barely returned to its intended shape. Give it a few months."

"I'm not saying she should spend half the time here just yet" Bart said. "But we should start the process. One night a week seems like a fair deal."

"Blair is not going to go for that" Chuck argued.

"Too bad it's not Blair's baby alone" Bart said and got up. "I'm going to go call Eleanor. Blair can bring the baby over on Monday night."

"Why not the weekend? Wouldn't that make more sense?"

Bart didn't answer. Chuck sighed as his father walked off to make the call. He had assumed that the sharing of the baby wouldn't start until the little one was at the least crawling. It was way too early to separate mother and child, even if it was only for one night. This arrangement wouldn't work out well for anyone.

And there were a few too many question marks regarding his father's new determination. Why the sudden emphasis on family? Why Monday night? This had '_business related_' written all over it. He reached into his pocket for his phone and made a call to his PI. Then he called Blair, figuring she deserved a heads up.

* * *

When Blair arrived with the baby on Monday afternoon Bart and Chuck were waiting right by the elevator. Dorota was with Blair, carrying two bags with everything the baby might need. Blair was holding the baby, who was awake but quiet, unlike her mother who was crying.

"Good evening Blair" Bart said as if she was there for a casual visit and not to hand over her less than two months old daughter.

Blair said nothing. She held her baby closer and clearly had no desire to let her go. Bart nodded to one of his servants who came over and took the bags from Dorota. Then he cast a look at Chuck.

"Blair, give the baby to Chuck" Bart instructed.

Chuck eyed her hesitantly. When he made a move towards her she recoiled and protectively held the child closer. Chuck wanted to just reach over and press the elevator button, sending Blair back down with the baby, but he knew that neither one of them had any say in the matter once Bart Bass had made up his mind. He stepped closer and as carefully as he could tried to get a grip on the infant. Dorota helped him out by gently trying to get Blair to let go.

Once the baby was in his grip he settled her in with her head on his shoulder and backed away, trying not to be affected by Blair's sobs. The little girl made a few protesting noises but didn't join her mother in crying. On a reflex Chuck began to gently bounce her while he cast a glance at his father.

"Thank you Blair" Bart said, as if it had been a business deal. Then he seemed to soften. "I know this is difficult. But it needs to happen."

Chuck could not agree less. Blair wanted the baby with her, Chuck was not so keen on having her. And the little one was so young. Did it have to happen so soon? He couldn't stand seeing Blair so devastated, he hated being the one taking away what she cared for the most, even if it was for one night only.

"Why don't you come and help me put her to bed?" he suggested. "And see where she'll be sleeping, and all that?"

Blair seemed to react positively to the idea but before she could step off the elevator Bart spoke up.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. It's better that she leaves her here. If we draw it out it will just be more difficult."

Chuck gave Blair a look that he hoped told her how sorry he was. As the elevator doors began to close he saw her take comfort in Dorota's arms. He felt almost sick when he could no longer see her. This was wrong. The baby should be with her mother.

"This really couldn't have waited another few months?" Chuck said to his father. "The baby's at an age where she needs her mother."

"You didn't have yours at that age."

"Given how well-adjusted I am I can see why you'd apply that logic."

"A lot of important bonding happens at this age" Bart argued. "She's starting to become a real person, with her own personality. And we need to get a routine established at an early stage. Do you think this will be any easier on Blair, or the baby, if they've gotten used to being together every night for several months? Stop being so soft with Blair and start thinking about your daughter. She will be much better off if she gets accustomed to this at an early age."

"Wouldn't the transition be easier for all parties if Blair stayed for a while? This is pretty brisk."

"She needs to know that when the baby is here she should step back."

"I visit the baby at her place all the time" Chuck argued.

"The baby is with Blair most of the time" Bart replied. "When she gets old enough to spend every other week here then things will be more clear-cut. You each give each other space to be alone with the child."

Chuck shook his head. It all seemed stupid to him. He had to believe it would be preferable for the baby if her parents could spend time with her together, at all ages. But he couldn't change the current arrangement, and it was only for one night anyway.

He walked back to his bedroom and longed for when Serena would get home and start to gush over the baby, leaving Chuck free to do other things. He didn't mind looking after Grace for a few hours, but an entire evening seemed like far too long.

* * *

Bart woke up in the middle of the night and at first couldn't figure out what had woken him. Probably Serena getting in drunk or something else far up on his scale of annoyance. A glance at the alarm clock on his bedside table told him it was past three in the morning.

Then he heard what was unmistakably a baby's cry. He sat up and told a stirring Lily to go back to sleep as he threw on his robe and walked downstairs to see what was going on.

There he found Chuck, walking back and forth with Grace. Chuck looked about ready to do something drastic but the baby was at least quiet. Until Chuck stopped and tried to set her down in the little carry-cot that stood on the coffee table. Immediately the baby began to scream and he lifted her up again with a groan.

"Why won't you get over your abandonment issues already?" Chuck said with frustration. "Or at least learn to use your words and tell me what the hell it is you want! God, you're even more stubborn than I am."

"Chuck."

Chuck looked up but only gave Bart a quick glance.

"What is going on?"

"She won't let me put her down" Chuck snarled. "She'll keep quiet when I hold her, at least for a while, but whenever I try to put her down she starts screaming."

"You shouldn't be up so late. Tomorrow is a school day."

"Oh it is?" Chuck said mockingly. "I had no idea. That changes everything then. I'll just explain that to Grace, she'll shut the hell up and we can all sleep soundly until the cartoon bluebirds fly in to wake us for a brand new day."

"Did you check her diaper?" Bart asked, ignoring the comment.

"First thing I checked. She doesn't need to be changed."

"She's probably hungry then."

"Don't you think I've tried all the basic stuff already?" Chuck snarled, tired and annoyed. "I'm not an idiot. The first thing to try is always to see if they're hungry or in need of a diaper change. It's nothing like that, she's just being obnoxious. For the record, her eat-and-poop routine is every three hours and she's in-between performances at the moment."

"Why haven't you given her a pacifier? That usually quiets them down."

"Not when I try putting her down and she screams enough to make it fall out of her mouth. It's no use."

"You should wake one of the staff" Bart said. "You have to get some sleep."

"Except I have a baby now" Chuck pointed out and adjusted the cloth he had on his shoulder to protect his expensive satin pajamas in case the baby decided to spit up.

"A baby which one of the staff can take care of."

Chuck shook his head.

"No, I'm damn sure not going to be like you" he said. "I already am in that I can't say I feel anything for this screaming lump other than annoyance, but I will at least _try_ to be a decent parent." He looked away for a second, trying to ignore his burning guilt over having stayed away for over a week. "As much as I wish things were different, I made the screaming lump and she is now my responsibility."

"I made you, and you're not even an adult yet, so that makes her my responsibility too" Bart said, choosing to ignore the comments Chuck had made about his own parenting. "Why don't you hand her over to me, Chuck? I'll take her, you go back to bed."

"You? What do _you_ know about taking care of a baby?"

"More than you might think" Bart said. "I did do my fair share of walking around like this with you."

"Once or twice in seventeen years does not count as 'fair share'" Chuck objected. "Like I said, she's my responsibility. I will not pawn her off on hired help, especially not when I only have her for one night. And you've got a board meeting in the morning."

"School is more important" Bart said.

Chuck didn't reply. He had a strong feeling his father would just go and wake a servant up and hand them the baby as soon as Chuck had gone back to bed. As tempting as it was to hand Grace over Chuck refused to take any short cuts. It would start with pawning her off just for this once, then it would turn into one thing after another that he left up to someone else, and soon he would be exactly like his father. Even if he couldn't love his kid he could at least respect her enough to never let her know that.

Besides, Blair would want a full report in the morning, and given how upset she had been to hand her over he didn't want her to hear her baby girl had spent the night being comforted by someone she didn't even know.

"Charles" Bart said. "You're exhausted. Let me take the baby."

"I don't even know if she'll accept that" Chuck said. "She won't let me put her down and Serena couldn't get her quiet earlier."

"It's worth a try."

"You have a board meeting tomorrow" Chuck reminded him.

"Never mind that. She's my granddaughter. That's more important."

Chuck had to bite his lip not to point out that Bart never seemed to have taken any such stance in the past when it came to his son. But he was too tired to get into all that right now. He really needed to get some sleep, Grace had been going at this for over two hours.

"Come on, hand her to me" Bart said, walking over.

Reluctantly Chuck handed the baby over to his father's outreached arms. Grace protested when she was moved from one embrace to another but Bart settled her in against his shoulder and shushed her, which she seemed to respond to.

"There's a good girl now" he said.

"Promise me you won't hand her over to one of the staff" Chuck said.

"She will stay with me" Bart confirmed. "Don't worry about her anymore, go off to bed. You've done good."

"Not according to the screaming lump" Chuck sighed.

"She doesn't want you to put her down" Bart said. "That's not a sign of bad parenting. Her not wanting you to pick her up, now that is a different story. But off you go. I will stay up with little Grace until she's ready to go to sleep."

"Thanks" Chuck said.

He gave the baby a little pat on the back of the head and then headed towards his bedroom, longing for sleep more than he ever had before.

"I'm impressed by your effort, Charles" Bart said.

Chuck turned and looked at his father, acknowledging the comment with a slight nod. He didn't feel like he deserved any such praise though. He hated himself for agreeing to pawn the baby off on someone, even if it was his father. Especially since this was just one night he had her, when Blair had her every other night. Even without feeling love or connection to the baby he felt protective enough to want better things for her than his own type of childhood.

Bart watched Chuck go and then looked down at his granddaughter. She looked up at him with big questioning eyes, so similar to the eyes that had looked up at him on another baby seventeen years ago.

"He's just not used to it yet" Bart told the baby. "He'll get the hang of it."

He sat down on the couch and rested the baby against his legs to get a better look at her. This was not appreciated however and he quickly resumed the previous position when her face scrunched up and began turning red. Once she felt more body contact she relaxed again.

"So that's how you're playing it, huh?" Bart said. "Fine then. Sooner or later you'll go to sleep and when you do it's back in bed."

Silently he wondered if maybe it had been a mistake to separate the baby from her mother at less than two months of age. Grace highly objected to loss of physical contact, perhaps because she felt vulnerable away from her mother. Blair had always been there in this little girls' existence, and tonight she wasn't.

Not that this meant Bart regretted the decision to have the baby for a night. The sooner Grace, and Blair and Chuck for that matter, got used to such an arrangement the better. And Bart wanted Chuck to learn to do his share of the parenting, and know what it meant to have a little baby. It would be so much easier to leave all the hard stuff to Blair and never experience taking care of the baby around the clock, but Bart needed his son to grow up and take his role as father seriously.

"He did good tonight though, didn't he?" he said to the baby. "Yes, he did good staying up with you like that. It impresses me. I say keep being an annoyance when you're here. Teach him a thing or two."

Bart was proud. He hadn't expected his son to take parenthood anywhere near this seriously, but so far Chuck had done a lot more than Bart had ever expected. Up until recently he had visited the baby on a daily basis and seemed to be making an effort to get along with Blair. Whatever the schism between them was at present, Bart had a strong feeling that they would soon have worked it out.

And Chuck had gotten up to take care of his crying daughter, and stayed up with her, reluctant to hand her over and let someone else do the work. That made Bart more proud than all the other stuff, since Chuck had done it at his own behest. He seemed genuinely set on making an effort, and Bart couldn't ask for more than that.

"What do you say, little girl?" Bart said to the baby. "Want a tour of the downstairs area? Or upstairs maybe? A look at Grandpa's office? Come on, I'll show you the combination to the safe, if you promise not to tell anyone."

He stood back up, holding the baby close as he walked up the stairs. He walked around his office with his granddaughter, speaking to her in soft tones all the while, and she kept quiet so long as she was being carried around. Bart realized that he really enjoyed having a baby back in the house. He had missed out on a lot with Chuck, often caught up with business, but at least he would get the chance to be around more with his granddaughter. He would make sure to take the time.

"You're much better company now, not screaming or anything" he said to the baby. "You just don't like being put down and ignored, do you? And who would want to be put into bed to go to sleep anyway when there's so much to discover? I see you looking at everything around you. You're a curious little girl, aren't you?"

The baby made a noise and he chuckled. She really was a curious little baby. Bart couldn't for the life of him remember at what age babies usually started being aware of the world around them, but he wouldn't be surprised if Grace was ahead of the curve. She was his granddaughter after all, and her mother was one of the brightest girls Bart had ever met. Chuck had never been a dummy either; he was more a case of wasting potential.

Feeling quite tired he decided that the baby really needed to get back to sleep now, curiosity or no, and he walked back downstairs with her.

"Come along" he said to her. "There's a day tomorrow too. The morning goes by fast, and it would be good if you could be awake before your dad goes off to school. Once school is done for the day you're going back to your mother."

Chuck would probably never know that the perhaps greatest reason why Bart was so adamant about him taking responsibility and spending time with the baby was that Bart didn't want his son to miss out on as much as Bart had missed out on. Not that he would ever tell Chuck that to his face. That would mean acknowledging that he had been an absent and at times lacking parent. The gap between himself and his son was wide enough as was without giving Chuck that kind of ammunition.

"Time for you to go back to sleep now, my pretty" he said to the baby once back downstairs. "Your dad probably doesn't remember this, but I happen to know a great deal of lullabies. Which one do you want to hear?"

The baby made a drawn out noise as if to answer. He chuckled.

"I don't think I know that one."

He stopped in the kitchen area and walked back and forth, bouncing her up and down. He wanted her to be asleep before he put her back in her bed. Otherwise she would just start screaming again.

"You know, Grandpa' is going to teach you a lot of things" he said. "That's what grandfathers do. Though these days I suppose it's more teaching you how to use an iPhone and less teaching you how to do a puzzle. I will teach you how to swim, ride a horse, ride a bike…"

With a sting of guilty conscience he realized he hadn't taught Chuck any of those things. He had sent him off to swim school when he was six, let the stable manager at the Hamptons house teach him how to ride when he was seven, and it was probably Howard Archibald who had taught him how to ride a bike. Bart had never had the time for things like that, and none of it seemed important at the time. What did it matter who taught the kid how to swim? The important thing was that he learned.

Things seemed different now. Bart wondered what it would be like to stand on the sidelines and watch his son teach his Grace how to ride her bike. Maybe it was nothing special. On the other hand, maybe it was something that brought you closer together.

"I promise you, sweetheart" he said. "Grandpa' will take the time to help teach you all those things. Business can wait, at least some of the time, right?"

He looked down at the baby and saw that she was sleeping, thumb stuck in her mouth. He breathed a sigh of relief. Not that bonding with the baby wasn't nice, but sleep was a lot nicer at this hour.

He walked into Chuck's bedroom, careful not to wake him, and gently put the baby down in the crib. Grace didn't wake up. He contemplated finding a pacifier and putting it in her mouth instead of her thumb, but he didn't dare to do anything that might stir her from her sleep. He didn't know her well enough yet to know if waking her up again would mean having to devote another hour or more to getting her to go back to sleep. He would just have to hope that her thumb would suffice until morning.

After checking to make sure the baby was lying properly and that everything was in order he quietly walked out and closed the door.

* * *

"How did it go last night?"

Chuck jumped back slightly. He had just arrived at school and taken a seat at a table out in the courtyard to leaf through a textbook before class. He had not been prepared for Blair slamming both her hands down on the table in front of him, demanding information about the previous night.

"It-" he began, but she cut him off.

"Did she sleep well? Eat okay? You didn't pawn her off on the hired help fist chance you got, did you? Don't try to lie to me, I can ask Serena. Grace is okay, right?"

"Relax. Did you think I would kill the baby?" Chuck asked, taking a bite from an apple. "She's fine. She didn't spend the night being taken care of by hired help. Though God knows I was tempted. I don't mind spending the night with a screaming woman, but a crying one is a whole other story."

"Well where is the baby now?"

"She's with Lily" Chuck said. "I wasn't going to bring her to school. She's a kid, not a science project. Don't worry about it. She will be properly returned to you around lunch."

"And you're sure everything went fine?"

"Yes" Chuck answered with a sigh.

Blair took a seat and bit her bottom lip. Chuck studied her with interest as he closed his textbook and took another bite from his apple.

"So how was your night last night?" he asked while chewing. "Quiet? Relaxing? Or did you spend the majority of it crying?"

"I don't like being separated from my infant" Blair said.

"You should have taken the evening to pamper yourself" Chuck argued. "Or gone out for drinks. You should have done something normal. Tonight you'll be right back to being chained to a screaming baby."

"Odd as it may seem, I really miss that screaming baby when she's away from me for that long" Blair complained.

"That _is_ odd. Women are stupid."

"And men are heartless."

"Women are stupid" Chuck repeated. "Last night going terribly would have been a much more favorable outcome for you."

Blair frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"There was some concern that maybe it was too soon for Grace to be taken from you for a full night" Chuck said. "Because things went so well last night my dad is going to insist that we make this a weekly thing."

Blair swallowed nervously.

"She _is_ too young" she said.

"Clearly she isn't. Had things gone badly Bart would have waited for another month or so before trying again. This morning he wouldn't stop talking about how good it would be for both me and the baby to have her with me once a week from this point on. And that's only for starters, I might add."

"For starters?"

"By Christmas he will be demanding that she spends two nights a week with me." He wasn't quite sure why he was taking his exhaustion from the previous night out on her but he was irritated and the fact that she had spared no time shrieking and complaining to him made him lash out at her. "Then that will increase to three, and so on…" he continued. "Before you know it we'll be having her alternate weeks. I thought that would happen much later on but now I'm guessing that it's going to happen around the time she's six months old."

He sneered up at her but lost all urge to keep rubbing it in when he saw that she had tears falling down her face. She wiped them away but more came instead.

"Blair?"

"I know we're both her parents and we agreed on shared custody, but it's too soon" she said. "This isn't even what the custodial terms dictate."

"The custodial terms will dictate what Bart Bass wants them to dictate" he said softly. "Did you really think he wouldn't be able to have the terms amended at his wish?"

"It's not fair. You don't even want her."

He didn't know what to say. Once again she had surprised him by picking up on things he thought he had hidden from her. When he didn't answer she made another attempt at wiping away her tears as she stood up and left. He watched her go and then grabbed his phone to call his father. Bart was in a board meeting and the call went straight to voicemail.

"Dad…" Chuck said. "About this whole Grace thing… We should wait a while. I… don't want to shock the baby by taking her away from Blair too often. How about once every two weeks? For starters? I think that's the smarter route. I'm thinking about my baby here; what's best for her is to be with Blair right now. We have all the time in the world to bond with her later on, when she's a bit older."

He hung up and kept in a sigh. Things just kept getting more and more complicated.

* * *

After school that day he stopped by Blair for the first time in a while. He found her on the bed with Grace, where she had been most afternoon. Once she had gotten home after lunch and found the baby waiting she had refused to let Grace out of her sight. Chuck's foreboding about Bart had really scared her.

She looked up when Chuck walked in and gave him a less than friendly look.

"Oh look, the prodigal son returns" she said dryly.

She saw his eyes go to the baby and quickly sat up, lifting Grace up into her arms and holding her close. Maybe she had underestimated him and after spending a full night with his child he wanted to be around her a lot more.

"Go away Bass" she said.

"Look, I apologize about before."

"Do you? What exactly are we apologizing for?"

For a second he worried that Dorota, or Nate, had told her what had happened during their visit to Yale. But when she continued to speak it became clear that his secret was still kept, for whatever reason.

"Are you apologizing for behaving like a total ass for the past, oh I don't know, seventeen years? Or for abandoning your daughter for days on end just because you… well nobody knows why, really. Or for-"

"For what I said today at school. Though you're right, I owe you both an apology for staying away for a while."

"What I don't understand is _why_ you just stopped coming by" Blair said. "Gracie really missed you. Although not so much that she would want to be with you for several nights a month" she quickly added.

"I spoke to Bart. Told him Grace belongs here with you for the time being."

"You did?"

"Yeah. You're right, I suck at this whole parenting thing so she's much better off with you. Besides, I think the reason she didn't allow me to put her down last night was that she missed you and didn't want to feel abandoned."

"You think she felt abandoned by me?" Blair asked, feeling tears welling up.

"Clearly I have a gift for saying the wrong thing" Chuck said. "I haven't heard back from Bart yet but I think I can convince him to hold off a while with me having the baby. I think one night a week, or once every two weeks, could be agreeable to him."

"I don't know what's worse" Blair said. "The thought of you wanting to have her as much as I do so I only get to be with her half the time. Or the thought of you not wanting to be with her at all."

"It's not that I don't want to have Grace" Chuck said meekly. "I'm just thinking about what's best for her. I'm so out of my league with this baby thing that it's not even funny. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm supposed to do. With you she's in good hands."

"I didn't know either until she was born and I had no choice but to learn" Blair said, looking sadly at the baby. "You'll figure it out. And when you do you will take her away every other week for the next eighteen years."

"I've been a strong candidate for Worst Father of the Year ever since she was born" Chuck sighed. "I don't think you have a lot to worry about."

"Yeah because my daughter having a lousy father is no cause for concern" Blair snarled, holding the baby closer.

Chuck looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He knew she was right. He really should feel sorry for her. Here she was, trying her best to make something good out of every teenager's worst nightmare and he was failing her every step of the way.

Blair saw the look on his face and felt bad. The previous night had been one of the most difficult of her life and what he had said at school had really frightened her. In addition she hadn't been able to figure out yet how she felt about his absence and what her own feelings for him really meant. So she was snapping at him now, but she didn't really mean everything she said or the way she said it.

"You're not that bad" she offered. "You're not great either, but you could be worse. I'm just scared that I'm going to lose her and since you're the person I would lose her to you're not my favorite person right now."

"Just listen to you…" he said. "You were anything but happy to find out you were pregnant. You didn't seem very excited during any of those nine months. Now you cry your eyes out over spending one night away from her."

"I can't explain it…" Blair said. "I just love her."

"Then why is it that I don't?"

"For starters you don't spend enough time with her" Blair snorted. "Though let me emphasize that you can spend time with her _here_."

"I could also spend time with her at my place" Chuck said, the hint of a teasing smile playing on his lips.

"You can spend _better_ time with her here" Blair attempted.

"My, my Waldorf…" Chuck smirked, walking a bit closer. "One might think that you're hoping that I will spend time with _you_ while I'm spending time with her."

To his surprise, and great delight, Blair actually blushed.

"Keep flattering yourself Bass" she said, looking anywhere but at him.

"Oh I would, but it seems you're doing it for me."

She shot him a death look but didn't say anything else. She sure wouldn't mind getting to spend more time with him and she didn't want to say anything to make him decide not to come to her place to see the baby like he used to. That, and she was terrified that the baby would be taken from her more often.

"This is Grace's home" she said. "This is her environment. You should see the baby more often but you should do it here."

"See her in her natural environment? What is she, an exhibit at the zoo?" Chuck teased.

"She's a baby who needs her mama."

"She has her mama. Most days out of the week. One might argue she needs her papa too" Chuck said.

"One might, but you so obviously don't."

"Blair I'm just teasing. I think you're right on both accounts. I need to be with Grace more often but I can do it just as well here as at my place. The only question is, do you really want me around that much?"

"What do you mean?" Blair asked, nervously looking away.

"Me spending hours here every day? Are you sure you wouldn't go crazy after a while?"

"Grace and I would both love to have you here more often" Blair said generously, thinking to herself that the best solution for all parties would be for Chuck to spend as much time as possible at her place.

He rewarded her with a smile that almost made her forgive him for having been absent from the baby's life for so many days. Almost.

"Good" he said. "Then perhaps a fresh start over?"

"What do you say Grace?" Blair asked the baby. She then looked up. "She says she'll agree to those terms. Provided that you actually start pulling your weight around here."

"Fair enough" he smiled. "You know, it occurs to me, if we want to keep Bart placid and less eager to try and get Grace to be with me for several nights a month we should make sure I spend as much time here as possible. Not just a few hours after school. The more I'm here the less he'll insist that I have the baby overnight to ensure quality time."

"Won't that only make him insist more?" Blair asked hesitantly. As much as she wanted Chuck to be around a lot she cared more about making sure the baby stayed with her. "He might think you're spending all that time here because you want to be around her more and thus insist that you get her overnight more often."

"He's convinced that you and I would make a great couple and he'll probably be highly pleased to see me spending more time here" Chuck said before realizing that divulging that information might not be the best move.

"Oh he… he thinks we should date?"

"He's old-fashioned" Chuck tried to cover. "He probably wishes he could have forced us into marriage the second we got proof that Grace is mine."

"So he deems me a proper daughter-in-law?" Blair asked curiously.

"Don't let it get to your head."

"It's interesting."

"It's less by merit of personality and more by merit of you nursing the future head of Bass Industries."

Blair just smiled. Chuck smiled back at her and walked over to the bed. He leaned over her and reached for the baby.

"Now…" he said. "My daughter and I have a lot of lost time to make up for. What do you say I take her for a stroll and you can get to focus on your homework?"

"Don't take her for a stroll now, it's raining" Blair scolded.

"See? I told you I have a lot to learn about being a parent."

"Take her downstairs and distract Dorota from her work by asking her to tell you all about when Grace peed on her."

"That… sounds gross."

"Then bring her back up when it's time for her to eat."

"Alright" Chuck said. "Come along Grace. I bet you ten dollars Blair will come darting down the stairs within fifteen minutes to make sure I haven't kidnapped you and taken you back home with me, all on Grandpa' Bart's orders."

"That's not funny" Blair objected.

Flashing her a teasing grin Chuck left the room. Blair bit her bottom lip nervously and wondered where all this was heading. She knew she should be selfless and encourage Grace spending time with her father, even if it meant Blair not getting to be with her. But the optimal solution seemed to be a revisit to their previous routine, only now with Chuck staying longer every day. She prayed Bart would be content with that and not demand that Chuck have Grace overnight more often. Blair was sure she wouldn't be able to handle being separated from her infant that much.

* * *

So we're sort of back to status quo… Except not quite ;) On a random note I'm thinking I will probably do larger leaps in time between chapters soon. There's only so much to do with an infant for an interesting story after all…

Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!


	28. Chapter 28

Opinions were divided on Bart after the last chapter =) Like someone pointed out it probably wouldn't be possible to enforce an overnight stay with a baby that's not even two months old, but in my mind Bart Bass can do anything he wants ;) Overall most reviewers seemed to like how he interacted with child and grandchild which I was happy to hear since I really enjoy writing Bart.

I get a lot of reviews saying I need to get moving with getting Chair together, thus I feel I should probably post another reminder that this is not a Chair romance story. I hope it's enjoyable anyway but if what you're after is a story about how they end up together then this is not the fic for you.

For those still interested, here's the next chapter =)

* * *

Serena studied the clothes on the rack carefully. Nothing seemed to catch her eye and she needed a new wardrobe. On the other hand, the main point of this shopping trip was not to fill up her closet. Blair had finally agreed to come out shopping, their first spending spree in months. Blair had been very reluctant while she was still carrying baby weight but by now she was starting to regain her interest in good fashion. If Serena's wardrobe needed a tune-up Blair's needed a complete update.

The store doors opened and Blair came walking in. Serena looked up with a smile, eager to get started, but her smile froze when she noticed that Blair had the baby with her in a Babybjörn and a diaper bag thrown over her shoulder. This was so not part of the plan.

"Blair…" she said. "You brought the baby."

"Hi S!" Blair chirped. "Find anything good yet?"

"No… You brought the baby?"

"Yeah" Blair said and took a look at the dress Serena had her hand on. "I don't know S, don't you think this is a little too trophy wife for you?"

Serena took her hand off the dress, having no idea what dress she had been touching in the first place, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Blair I thought this was supposed to be you and me out shopping together."

"It is" Blair said, giving Serena a look like she thought she was an idiot.

"Then why have you brought the baby?"

"Gracie's old enough to go on her first shopping spree" Blair said and began to look through the clothes on the rack. "Besides, what would you have had me do? Stuff her in the closet and pray she keeps quiet while I'm out?"

"You could have left her with Dorota. Or your mother. Like you do when you're at school."

"But I'm not at school" Blair said. "I have a baby now S. Mothers bring their children when they go out shopping."

"Not when they're shopping at Prada they don't" Serena argued. "And not when there are plenty of people who could babysit. How are you even going to be able to try anything on when you've got a baby strapped to your chest?"

"Who needs to try stuff on in the store?" Blair snorted. "I'm just going to buy the things I like, try them on at home when I've got the time, and send back whatever I don't like on."

"Oh that sounds like a fun shopping trip."

"What's with all the whining?"

"We were supposed to have a fun day out like we used to" Serena complained.

"The only thing making it not fun is your belly-aching."

"Really? Because to me the concept of fun goes out the window when you're just going to grab stuff at random to try it on at home, and when we have to find some place for you to nurse a baby, and we pick a lunch spot based on where they have changing tables in the bathrooms."

"Serena are you trying to say that my daughter being present means things are no longer fun?" Blair asked, giving Serena an angry glare.

"I'm saying that if you can't even tear yourself from her for a couple of hours to go shopping with me then you're no longer the Blair Waldorf I knew. Besides, the whole point of this was for you and me to hang out. I hardly ever see you anymore, especially now that Chuck is back to visiting you every day after school."

"Chuck does not spend time with me. He spends time with Grace" Blair argued, missing the point.

"Yeah and thereby spends time with you since you can't go two feet away from her without having a panic attack. It's the weekend, can't you leave the baby with _him_ and come shopping with me?"

"What is the big deal? Does Grace somehow hinder you from spending money on clothes? She won't care how much clothes you buy or pass judgment if you buy something with far too low a neckline and far too high a hemline."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Serena asked angrily.

"I just don't get what you're getting so bent out of shape for" Blair said.

"You don't bring infants on shopping sprees."

"Says who?"

"She's just going to be in the way."

Blair gasped.

"I cannot believe you" she said. "Listen, my baby is not in the way, not now, not ever. You're just angry that when we're walking down the street people will be turning to look at the cute little baby, not to look at you."

"Oh, you think I'm jealous of an infant?"

"Wouldn't put it past you. Serena van der Woodsen always needs to be at the center of attention."

"You know what?" Serena said. "You and the baby can go shopping on your own. You don't even need me to come along, you've got Grace."

"Fine" Blair said. "Come on Grace, let's go shop at some better establishment."

"Better than Prada?"

"Hey, if they sell the kind of clothes you deem appropriate they're not carrying the kind of line I would dress up in."

"Right, because the prim and proper ones are the ones who usually end up with babies to drag along shopping."

Blair stuck her chin in the air with a snort and turned on her heel. Angrily Serena turned her back at her and started going through the clothes on another rack at record speed. Anger was as good a fuel for shopping as anything else. She had a feeling her credit card would get a lot of work today.

* * *

Serena knocked on Blair's bedroom door and stepped inside. Blair was laying on the bed with a magazine. Grace was next to her, on a blanket on top of the comforter. Blair looked up when Serena came into the room and Serena offered her a sheepish smile.

"I come in peace" she said. "I'm sorry about before. I didn't mean to sound as harsh as I did. I was just taken by surprise when you arrived with Grace."

"It's okay S" Blair said. "I've calmed down too by now. And I get it. You didn't get yourself pregnant, you didn't make the choice to have the baby. You don't want things to have to change too much. I understand that you can feel like you're getting an overdose of the baby. Frankly I would grow tired of her within ten minutes if she wasn't my own."

Serena laughed a little.

"That sounds more like the Blair Waldorf I know."

"The thing is though S, things _have_ changed" Blair continued. "I can't go out and do whatever I want whenever I want anymore. And sometimes I have to take Grace with me when I go out shopping, or go out to lunch. Babies aren't Labrador retrievers who can be left alone for a couple of hours."

"Yeah I know that" Serena said, looking tired. "Though going out shopping just the two of us every once in a while would be nice. Sometimes I want to hang out with my best friend, not with Grace's mother."

"Those two are not mutually exclusive. I can be your best friend and still be her mother. But right now she is so little and she needs so much attention. It will be different when she's five and she's off playing with other kids, or even when she's three and we can park her in front of a movie with Dorota and go off and do something else. And yes, Chuck is here a lot but he is her father S and he _should_ be here a lot. Being parents trumps everything else."

Serena couldn't help but feel disappointed. She thought the baby was adorable and she knew the she needed attention, but it seemed to her that someone else could easily look after the infant while Blair went out with Serena for a few hours. Chuck, for example. She was proud of Blair for taking her role as a mother seriously but she couldn't help but feel that Blair was taking it a little _too_ seriously. Other people were capable of watching the baby too, she would not fall down dead if Blair left her for more than fifteen minutes. But Blair had been even more insistent on being close to the baby ever since Grace had spent the night with Chuck.

"Grace bought you something" Blair said and nodded to a bag on the floor.

Serena walked over and grabbed the bag. Inside was a pair of tan leather boots. A smile spread across Serena's face.

"What, you think I didn't know you had your eyes on those boots?" Blair said innocently. "I pay attention."

"Thank you B" Serena said. She had been planning on buying these boots for almost two weeks but hadn't gotten around to it yet. "They'll go great with the outfit I got at Prada after the two of you left."

"Don't thank me" Blair said and nodded to the baby.

"Something tells me you were still the one who paid for it" Serena said and winked at her best friend.

"S, she is Bart Bass' granddaughter. Do you have any idea how big her trust fund is?"

"No, but I think I can guess" Serena giggled. She sat down on the bed and placed her hand on the baby's stomach. "So what else did you girls buy today?"

"Oh we got Grace an adorable onesie with little ducks on it" Blair said and leaned over the baby to give her a kiss. "And a beautiful grey dress. And three adorable pairs of little baby shoes, one of which goes perfectly with the dress."

"What about you?" Serena asked. "The whole point was to give your closet a major update now that you're no longer dressing in maternity wear, was it not?"

"I bought some stuff for me" Blair said evasively.

"Yay, let me see" Serena said and clapped her hands with excitement.

"I haven't tried any of it on yet so I won't show it to anybody."

"Oh come on. Hey, you could try the clothes on right now! Like we did when we were twelve and we would go out shopping and then have a fashion show when we got back home."

"Oh I don't think that would be a good idea" Blair said.

"Why not? Come on, it will be fun."

Blair had not the slightest interest in showing the things she had bought to Serena. She had gotten one very basic black skirt and two blouses and that was all. For some reason her love of couture had not yet returned. The combination of having a few too many pregnancy pounds left to perfectly fit in the same size she used to wear, and the knowledge that whatever she bought Grace would likely spit up on, made buying Chanel a lot less exciting than it used to be. Buying things for the baby was a lot more fun so she had decided to stick to that until she was back to her proper size.

"Come on" Serena said again. "You go try something on, I'll keep an eye on the baby. Come on B!"

"Some other time, okay?" Blair said.

"Don't be bashful" Serena giggled. "You're practically down to your old size by now."

"What did you buy?" Blair asked, trying to get the focus off herself.

"Nice try" Serena laughed. "Come on B."

Luckily Blair was saved by Grace starting to cry. She flashed Serena a smile and picked the baby up.

"Unfortunately, duty calls."

Serena just shook her head and didn't push the issue further. Blair rose from the bed and walked around with the baby. With a bored sigh Serena grabbed the magazine Blair had been reading and tried to leaf through it but it was difficult when there was a crying infant in the room.

* * *

It was Thursday afternoon, and Serena had just been getting ready for going out to meet Poppy Lifton for a drink. Things were quiet around the house, everyone was out except for her and Chuck, who hadn't stopped by Blair today after school. To her surprise one of the servants told her in passing that Blair was on her way up on the elevator. Serena would not have expected Blair to show up out of the blue, past six on a weekday. She wondered what could have promoted this surprise visit as she put on a pair of large golden hoop earrings and walked towards the kitchen.

When the elevator doors opened Serena heard the baby before she became aware of anything else. Then Blair stepped off the elevator, bouncing Grace around with a look on her face that would have anyone worried. Serena hurried over.

"Blair, what-"

"Motherhood is hell" Blair cut her off and handed Serena a bag. "Hold this. She screams, she poops, she manhandles my nipples. That is all."

"Blair what are you talking about?"

"She won't stop screaming" Blair cried. "She's been going on and on for _hours_ now. The only thing that shuts her up is riding around in the car, which of course is only useful when the car is _moving_, which it in New York traffic most often is _not_, and me bouncing her around like this. My arms are tired, my ears are bleeding! Usually I can shut her up by putting her in the pram and pushing it back and forth but she's seen through that particular trick and is having none of it right now."

"Can't Dorota take over for a while?" Serena asked, worried that her evening out was about to turn into an evening in with a screaming baby. "Or Eleanor?"

"Mom's in Paris" Blair cried. "And Dorota is off at… I don't know, someplace Polish housekeepers go when they need to brush up on how to dust stuff. It's just me, and a bunch of useless servants I can't hand the baby over to. _I need a nanny_!"

"B, calm down."

"Calm down? Calm down? The damn baby has been crying more or less non-stop for over four hours and I think I will kill myself! I need peace and quiet, I need a moment's rest without bouncing the baby around."

Serena made a face and wished she could cover her ears with her hands. Blair looked about ready to cry as well, and turned her attention back to the baby.

"Why do you hate me so when all I do is love you?" she cried to the child, her voice nearly hysterical.

"What can I do?" Serena reluctantly asked.

"Nothing. I'm not here for you. But if you know how to make a baby stop crying without the aid of motion then please do share!"

"Oh, can I give her some chocolate?" Serena asked, reaching for a bit of candy in the bowl on the counter.

"Yes Serena" Blair said with sarcasm. "Please do give the verging on hysterical child _chocolate_."

"Chocolate usually makes women feel better when they're in that mood."

"She's not a woman, she's a screaming demon. And speaking of which… _Chuck_!" She bellowed the name with anger. "He is home, isn't he?"

"Yeah" Serena said, feeling more helpful now that it seemed Blair was out to pawn the baby off on Chuck, not her.

"_Chuck_!"

This time she roared the name loud enough that the baby began to cry again, and no amount of Blair bouncing her seemed to make any difference. Chuck still didn't appear.

"Charles Bass get your ass out here right now!" Blair yelled.

"You're scaring her" Serena objected.

"She's _annoying me_. I can't take this much longer."

Finally Chuck appeared, at the top of the steps. He had been in the upstairs library on the couch, listening to music with headphones in. He hadn't heard Blair shout, but the screaming baby had caught his attention.

"Are we having a girl's night out?" he remarked, noticing his stepsister's outfit.

"Chuck, thank God" Blair exhaled. "Take her. Just take the damn thing!"

"Who, Serena?" Chuck asked teasingly, walking down the stairs.

"Ha ha, yeah, funny stuff, I'm laughing so hard, _that_ is why I'm almost crying" Blair said, starting to get desperate. "I'm serious Chuck, please just take her for a few hours and let me have some silence!"

He reached the bottom of the staircase and studied her. He didn't look too eager to take over the screaming bundle.

"What is the baby crying about?"

"If I knew that she wouldn't still be crying" Blair almost shouted.

"Geez Waldorf, who peed in your fruit cup?" Chuck asked with a snort. "Fine, just give her to me."

"Thank you" Blair said, almost starting to cry with relief when he took the child from her arms.

"She definitely gets her temperament from her mother" Chuck remarked as he leaned the baby's head against his shoulder.

"Bounce her" Serena instructed. "Blair says that keeps her quiet."

Not exactly sure what kind of bouncing they had in mind Chuck took a seat on the couch, sat the baby down on his knee and began to carefully bounce it up and down. Blair more or less collapsed on a barstool, waiting to see if the baby would stop screaming. Not that she would stick around and help Chuck quiet her down if she didn't quiet down immediately. Blair intended to go home and get some sleep with no interruptions whatsoever.

After about twenty seconds of being bounced around Grace quieted down. Serena, who had begun to flinch at the high-pitched screams, looked relieved. Blair closed her eyes and appeared to be able to fall asleep right on the spot. Chuck studied the baby with interest.

"If this is all it takes to keep you quiet then Daddy needs to buy you a trampoline" he commented.

"Have fun bouncing her on your knee for the nearest four hours or so" Blair said, getting up before she got too exhausted to move a muscle. "I'll be back around ten-ish." She pressed the elevator button. "Maybe eleven."

"Wait, hold on a second" Chuck objected. "She eats every three hours."

"Two milk bottles in the bag" Blair said. "Put them in the fridge, would you S? I'm heading out of here to collapse into a sweet coma."

She hurried on to the elevator, leaning back against the wall with a sigh of relief as the doors closed. Chuck looked over at Serena and stopped bouncing his knee. Immediately the baby began to cry.

"Have fun bouncing her on your knee for the nearest four hours or so" Serena grinned. "I'm off to be an eighteen year-old and have drinks with my friends."

"You know," Chuck said to Grace, "bouncing her on my knee used to be just as efficient to put your mother in a good mood."

"Ew, Chuck, gross!" Serena exclaimed. "That image is going to haunt me for the rest of my life…"

She put the bag Blair had handed her on the counter while making a disgusted face, and unpacked the two bottles. She put them in the fridge and glanced at the clock on the wall. She had to leave now or she would be late.

"So this outing you're going to, does it involve Poppy Lifton?" Chuck asked, beginning to bounce the baby up and down again.

"It does. Why?"

"She seems to have been your best friend since around the time senior year started" Chuck remarked. "I'm curious as to why that is."

"Because I like to hang out with her?"

"Used to be you liked to hang out with Blair."

"And I still do."

"Not all that often, it seems" Chuck commented. "I seem to spot you heading out to party with Poppy almost every night. Your picture is on Page Six quite often."

"Is it now?"

"With Poppy as your consort you're practically just a sleazy sex video leaked on the Internet away from being the new Paris."

"Chuck where are you going with all of this?" Serena asked with a tired sigh.

"Just interesting that you've fallen into the same fold as everyone else does once their best friend has a baby" Chuck said and stopped bouncing Grace to see if she would keep silent. She most certainly would not.

"What are you talking about?" Serena asked, trying to make herself heard above the screaming infant.

"Blair is snooze-and-sigh boring now" Chuck explained, moving Grace to his other knee to bounce her on that one for a while. "She doesn't have the time, energy or inclination to go out and party, or even have a casual drink after school. She rarely, if ever, has the time for shopping, and when she does, all she really wants to buy is stuff for the baby. And even though she is less snowed-in than other mothers, at least fifty percent of the words that come out of her mouth are about Grace."

Serena sighed, knowing he had put into words exactly what she was feeling. But what did that have to do with Poppy?

"So?"

"So, it's obvious that you've put Blair on hold for the time being and moved on to more entertaining prospects" Chuck said with a smug smile.

"Blair is my best friend" Serena said. "I go visit her several times a week."

"Admirable."

"And I happen to be very fond of the baby."

"Even so, you're more fond of the party scene."

"Where's the harm in me going out for drinks with Poppy?" Serena demanded to know, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm young and I like to have fun, and my best friend having a baby doesn't directly affect _my_ life. What's the harm?"

"There is none" Chuck said, standing up and holding the baby close to his chest as he gently bounced her up and down. "I just find it interesting that you would leave Blair behind so easily just because she doesn't have the time to go out for drinks. Really S, I would have expected more from you."

"That is not what is going on" Serena said, insulted by the mere suggestion.

"Is it not?" Chuck asked.

"It most certainly is not."

"If you say so. But I couldn't help but notice how relieved you looked when I came down and took Grace. Worried that I had left earlier without you noticing it, and you would be stuck with Blair and the little screamer?"

"No" Serena lied unconvincingly.

"Then you won't mind taking the baby for a while, while I go run a few errands?" Chuck asked, just to see what she would say. He had no errands to run.

"I've got other plans" Serena said, getting a feeling she had been cornered.

"With Poppy."

"Yes."

"You're going to be late for your new best friend" Chuck smirked and walked to his room with the baby.

Serena watched him go and then pressed the button to call for the elevator. When it took more than two seconds to arrive she angrily pressed it a couple of more times. Why did he have to take the fun out of _everything_?

* * *

"How rare is it that a teenage parent actually gets _better_ grades once the baby comes?" Chuck commented the following afternoon.

He was sitting on Blair's bed, doing his homework as part of the new plan to be around Grace as much as possible. He had been by after school three out of five days this week and those three days he had stayed until it was time for the baby's evening feeding. Right now Grace was asleep and since Blair was focused on studying he figured he might as well do the same.

"How bad were your grades before?" Blair felt compelled to ask, looking up from her chemistry book.

"If you would have asked me six months ago what the citric acid cycle was I would have grinned goofily and declared it's a high I _have_ to try."

"I guess now we know you'll never make it in the field of medicine."

"Actually maybe now I could, if this keeps up."

"Not if you don't shut up" Blair said, returning to her book. "You're distracting me."

In more ways than one. She was finding it unsettlingly difficult to study when he was in the room, on her bed. It didn't help that she was trying to educate herself about chemistry, a word she had always associated with him.

"I wonder how people who are allergic to citrus handle having citric acid cycles?" Chuck mused after a few minutes of silence.

"You're worse than the baby. Mama needs silence in order to study."

"I find I study better when I get to chat."

"I don't. Behave or you'll be banished to the other room."

"Think of this as… preparation" Chuck said. "Once Grace learns how to walk and talk you can kiss silent study times goodbye."

"That's why God invented Dorota" Blair smirked.

"Well maybe Grace will turn out like me and feel like Dorota is a poor substitute for you" Chuck said with a teasing grin.

Blair turned her face back to her book, hoping he wouldn't be able to tell that she was blushing. What was he doing? Was that a compliment? A year ago she would have dismissed a comment like that as Chuck being Chuck, always prone to sleazy remarks. Now she wasn't sure if that was what it was, or if it was actually something more.

She focused on her chemistry book and Chuck went back to his biology textbook. He kept quiet for a full five minutes before beginning to hum and drum a pencil against his book.

"If I wanted music I would go with my iPod" Blair commented dryly.

"Huh?" Chuck said, looking up. "Sorry. I didn't even notice I was doing it."

"Do I have to come hold your hand to get you to study in silence for an hour like a good little boy?" Blair asked in a sigh.

"You might just have to, Mommy" Chuck said mischievously and looked up at her through his bangs.

"God you're hopeless" Blair sighed.

She grabbed her book and walked over to the bed, laying down on her stomach facing the foot of the bed, placing the textbook in front of her. When he began to drum his pen again a few minutes later she reached up and snatched the pen away from him.

"Hey!"

"You can have it back when you learn to behave."

"So strict…" Chuck said.

He shifted on the bed so that he was laying on his stomach next to her, their bodies touching just barely. Blair bit her bottom lip and tried her best to concentrate. She had moved over to the bed under the guise of being able to nip his various antics in the bud but in actuality she just wanted to be closer to him. Being _this_ close to him was intoxicating and it made it almost impossible to think of anything other than his presence and the smell of his cologne.

She expected him to start doing something else distracting, like talking or sighing or anything else that spelled of boredom but he kept quiet and focused on his textbook. After a while she couldn't resist glancing over at him and saw that he was indeed fully focused on the text he was reading. Without thinking she studied his face and the focused expression he was sporting, allowing her eyes to trace his profile over and over. It wasn't until he looked back up at her that she realized she had been staring for several minutes. She blushed heavily, cursing herself over the involuntary reaction, but he didn't comment. He just smiled at her and then turned back to the book.

As quickly and casually as possible she turned her own eyes back to hers. But she probably read the same page three times over before finally being able to focus on the information in the book.

After a while the door opened and Eleanor walked in, finding the two teenagers side by side on the bed, looking up from their textbooks with surprised faces.

"Just checking in on the baby" Eleanor said in a loud whisper.

"She's still sleeping" Blair said, turning her eyes back to the book.

Eleanor walked over to the crib and peered down at the infant.

"What are you talking about Blair?" she said. "Grace is wide awake."

"Wide awake?" Chuck echoed. "She hasn't made a noise in like two hours."

Eleanor bent over and lifted the baby up.

"I'll take her downstairs with me for now." She began walking to the door but stopped halfway and eyed the pair on the bed. "I don't see why the two of you can't just go on a date like regular teenagers do."

Blair and Chuck both looked up again, now with even more surprised faces.

"What?" Blair echoed.

"Instead of just fooling around you should either go out on a date or keep your clothes on around each other. One grandchild before I'm 45 is more than enough."

"I assure you, all clothes are being kept on" Chuck said, feeling oddly embarrassed.

"Oh please" Eleanor snorted. "You already got my daughter pregnant once and at present you're practically lying _on_ her. Don't think you can fool me into believing nothing's going on. All I ask is that you either make it official or put an end to it. Either way is fine by me."

She left the room and Chuck harked uncomfortably. Blair made a face and hoped they could ignore her mother's comments.

"I think she likes me" Chuck commented.

Blair just scoffed and tried for the millionth time to focus on her studies.

"So speaking of women we're related to, how are things with Serena?" Chuck asked casually, eyes on his book.

"What do you mean?" Blair asked with a frown.

"Haven't seen you two girls hanging out much lately" Chuck noted, turning a page in his book. "Hey what the heck is metabolic acidosis and do you think I need to learn it for the test?"

"Don't change the subject" Blair snarled. "Why would things be anything other than normal with me and Serena?"

"Look, forget I said anything" Chuck said. "I was just curious. If you say that everything is normal then everything is normal."

"Everything is normal."

"Fabulous."

"I'm serious."

"Look I really don't care that much" Chuck said. "You're distracting me from my studies. Be quiet and let me concentrate."

Blair wrinkled her nose and turned her attention back to her book. Chuck cast a brief glance at her. He had asked just to see if she was aware of how Serena was drifting away right now but it didn't seem like it had occurred to her yet. Better let it be during those circumstances. The last thing he wanted, or needed, was to add more weight to her already quite burdened shoulders. Besides, maybe he was only imagining things. Maybe Blair and Serena were just as close as ever. For Blair's sake he hoped that was the case.

* * *

That's all for now folks! Reviews are appreciated =)


	29. Chapter 29

I got a lot of questions and comments about what I said in my previous AN. I said this is not a Chair romance story and what I meant by that is that the main plotline is not how Chair get together. It's about how they handle parenthood. This doesn't mean there _won't_ be Chair. It just means that any romance stuff between them is a subplot not the main plot. I still haven't decided if Chuck and Blair will end up together in the story. On one hand I like writing Chair romance. On the other it seems like the original premise works better if they're not together. So it's still undecided, which is probably why that storyline is moving slowly.

Anyway, new chapter!

* * *

"Miss Blair you must hurry, or you'll be late for school."

"I know" Blair snarled.

She had her uniform on and her makeup and hair done, and her new satin headband completing the look. With one hand she was trying to pick up her bag and throw it on her shoulder but the baby she was holding with her other arm and hand was making it difficult. She didn't dare to bend over since she was afraid of gravity taking over and making Grace fall down on the bed, and if she kneeled she wasn't sure she would be able to get back up with the weight of both a baby and a heavy school bag to struggle with. Her eyes went from the baby to the bag but neither offered a solution.

She sighed. Sometimes it seemed like motherhood was about ninety percent planning how to do something. How to pick up your bag, how to take an uninterrupted shower, how to avoid getting spit-up on every single top in your possession.

"You know what?" she said to the baby. "Mommy's just going to put you in the crib. Then I'll just grab my bag and go."

"Miss Blair you must _hurry_" Dorota said, coming in to the room.

"I _know_" Blair snarled again.

"Don't put baby down. Is not time for nap."

"I _have_ to put the baby down because _she_ is not going to Constance Billard today" Blair said in a tone reserved for the mentally challenged.

"Let me take her" Dorota offered and walked over.

"She's fine in her crib, Dorota" Blair said and put the baby down.

The moment Grace realized she was being put in her crib she began to scream at the top of her lungs. Blair tried to offer her the pacifier to calm her down but the baby was having none of it. Blair glanced up at the clock and stomped impatiently on the spot. She knew perfectly well that if the baby intended to scream and cry she wouldn't be just a little late to school. She would be _very_ late to school.

"Not now baby, please" she pleaded. "Mommy has to go!"

"I told you not to put baby down in crib" Dorota said, pushing Blair aside to lift the baby up again.

Blair made a face at her and in turn shoved Dorota aside, picking the baby up herself while shooting Dorota a look.

"No, _I'll_ do it" she said. "I don't want her to feel abandoned by me. Let me just hold her for a second... There, there, sweetie…"

To her relief the baby calmed down. Dorota still looked impatient.

"Hand baby to me. You must leave now or you will be even more late."

"I know" Blair sighed. "Alright. Mommy's just going to go to school, but she'll be back before you know it sweetie! Okay? Please don't cry anymore. I promise you, I will be back real soon, okay?"

"You're being overly fussy with baby" Dorota said with a touch of annoyance and held out her arms. "Give her to me."

Blair obediently handed the child over to Dorota, rolling her eyes at how Dorota acted like an authority on babies when she really had no more experience than Blair. Grace protested immediately with a loud wail that turned into another fit of crying.

"Grace please don't do this" Blair pleaded. "I can't be late."

"You must toughen skin" Dorota said. "Let baby cry. She will get over it soon enough, but not if you keep fussing. Off you go."

Blair felt about ready to start crying herself, but an angry nod from Dorota in the direction of the door made her grab the bag from the bed and hurry out. As she ran down the stairs she could hear the baby crying and Dorota trying to comfort her. She felt like a horrible mother, and wondered how often this feeling would be occurring. Probably on a daily basis until she was on her deathbed.

* * *

Five days later Blair walked slowly up the stairs to her bedroom, having just finished breakfast and not so eagerly getting ready for another half-day at school. This morning she had handed the baby over to Dorota immediately after nursing her, in the futile hope of avoiding the usual morning scene of the baby screaming bloody murder whenever Blair handed her over to somebody else. She had a sneaking suspicion that even at her tender age Grace had figured out that when Mommy handed her off in the morning she would then be gone for several hours before coming back home.

The whole thing frustrated Blair beyond words. It was both annoying and heartbreaking at the same time, making her feel like the worst mother on the planet for abandoning her child, even though she knew it wasn't damaging to the baby that she went off and attended school for a few hours. It was beginning to wear Blair out, and she wasn't sure how much more of it she could take.

She walked into her bedroom, which was currently empty, and sat down with the pump Chuck had gotten her to get Grace's bottles ready for the morning. It occurred to her how warped it all was, to be sitting there, doing _that_ in the morning instead of having breakfast at the Met steps with her friends. She felt so left out. She never had the time to have breakfast with them since breakfast was now something she squeezed in between all her baby related morning business. And after lunch she went home and missed everything that went on in the afternoon. While she once more held power over her classmates she knew deep down that Serena was queen, not Blair. It was impossible to be queen and not be there all day.

She finished her task and called for Dorota. Dorota came in holding Grace, and seemed to be contemplating how to get the bottles downstairs while still holding the baby. Blair got up and walked over to her, giving the baby a kiss on the cheek which she hoped wouldn't trigger a reaction.

"Blair, time for you to get going" Eleanor said as she came walking in. "If you insist on going to school I insist on you not being late. Come on."

Blair took a quick look in the mirror and adjusted her curls. Then she picked up her bag from the floor.

"Dorota, make sure those bottles are in the fridge immediately" she said. "I don't want my daughter drinking milk gone bad."

"Yes Miss Blair" Dorota said, looking around, slightly unsure. "Though I have logistics problem."

"What?" Eleanor snorted. Then she got what Dorota was talking about. "Here, hand Grace to me. I'll take the baby, you take the bottles."

Dorota handed the baby over, and Grace immediately began to cry. Blair froze halfway out the door. Grace had never cried before over being handed over, except for when it was Blair who was the one handing her over.

"Blair, school, now" Eleanor said firmly, bouncing the baby up and down.

Blair obediently walked out the door. She froze again after only a couple of steps when she heard Dorota's voice.

"Don't cry, Miss Grace. Dorota will be right back."

Blair stood there gaping for a few seconds, tempted to rush right back into her bedroom and take the baby. Instead she stomped off down the stairs in fury. What the hell was this? Her baby, _her_ baby, was reacting the same way to Dorota leaving as she was to Blair leaving? That was just not right.

She sulked all the way to school, angrily drumming her foot on the floor of the cab. How could her baby do this to her? This was unspeakable! Suddenly it was no longer annoying that Grace complained when Blair handed her over to leave. Suddenly that was just the way it was supposed to be. She was, after all, the girl's _mother_. Dorota was just a member of the staff. She didn't deserve the special reactions reserved for Grace's _mother_.

She thought back at how things had been since the baby had been born. Blair had done her best to be a good mother, but she handed the baby over to Dorota quite a lot too. Dorota was in charge of changing diapers, cleaning up baby messes and now also sometimes of night feedings. And when the baby cried and Blair just couldn't listen to it any longer, or was too tired, she let Dorota take over comforting the little girl. Blair couldn't deny it. Dorota was acting as mother for her baby in some ways, and Blair had let her. No, _asked _her to. Without a second thought. It was a truth that was hard to swallow.

Fortunately, it was a truth that was easily remedied.

* * *

"Hello, baby mama" Chuck said the next day as he walked up to Blair, who was getting her French book from her locker.

"Morning" Blair replied.

"So, all is well at Casa Waldorf?" he asked.

"Right as rain" Blair said, not really interested in early morning chit chat.

"Huh." He leaned against the locker next to hers, ignoring the girl who owned the locker and needed her math book. "Kind of makes one wonder…"

"Uh-huh" Blair said, barely even listening. She couldn't seem to find her workbook and Chuck was distracting her.

"Incidentally, I got a call from Dorota last night."

"Mmm…" Blair mumbled.

"Why is Dorota calling me, tears galore, saying you've fired her?"

Giving up on finding her workbook, about the same time as the girl with the locker next to hers gave up on being able to get her math book, Blair slammed her locker shut and gave Chuck a smile which didn't come close to her eyes.

"I didn't fire Dorota."

"Really?"

"Really" Blair said, and began to walk away.

"She said you told her she could no longer take care of the baby" Chuck said, hurrying after her down the hallway.

"Yes, I said that, which is hardly the same as firing her" Blair said, turning around to flash Chuck another joyless smile. "I just told her that looking after Grace is no longer in her job description. That's good news, wouldn't you agree? We said we weren't going to pawn the baby off on others."

"Yes, but telling Dorota she _can't_ look after the baby anymore? Who's going to look after her when you're at school?"

"My mom" Blair reluctantly admitted.

"Eleanor is going to look after Grace ever day from morning to lunch?" Chuck asked skeptically.

"Yes, now just shut up about it already."

"Blair…"

"Okay, fine" Blair sighed. "I'm considering hiring a nanny. Someone who just comes in after breakfast and takes care of the baby until lunch. That is all."

"Fine, I have no objections, but why not just have Dorota do it?" Chuck asked, thoroughly confused.

"It's not her job" Blair said simply.

"Isn't it? I thought it was. You of all people ought to know how maternal she is."

"I don't think she would be too pleased to hear you think she was around when I was Grace's age" Blair said. "I was ten when Dorota came into the picture."

"So? You still know better than anyone how good she is at the motherly stuff."

Blair stopped outside her classroom and looked down, not willing to answer. Chuck suddenly realized what was going on.

"That's the problem, isn't it?"

"There is no problem" Blair said, shooting him a look.

"You know far too well that she is an excellent surrogate mother and you don't want Grace to see _her_ as the real mother figure in her life the way things are with you and Eleanor."

"Please" Blair scoffed. "You couldn't be more wrong."

"Oh I could be a _lot_ more wrong" Chuck said, looking concerned. "Has Grace started to become too attached to Dorota?"

"Look, it's just a matter of _me_ being the one who carries the bulk of the responsibility with the baby" Blair snapped.

"You do, I'm not arguing with that."

"Good. Then there's no problem."

"Blair… You should let Dorota continue to be the one who primarily helps you with the baby. She loves Grace."

"I know" Blair said. "But she's _my_ daughter."

Chuck nodded slowly. Blair felt embarrassed. He seemed to understand far too well what was going through her mind, though at least he wasn't passing judgment. He could have easily said that if the baby was showing the same amount of attachment to Dorota as she did to Blair then maybe Blair should simply parent more. After all, the reason Blair herself felt so attached to Dorota was that she had been more of a mother to her than Eleanor. But Chuck didn't say anything like that.

"Look, maybe…" he began, hesitating slightly. "Maybe I can do more. I spend several days a week with her after school but maybe I should take her home more often. Not just one night a week. If she's becoming a handful and you feel like you need some help, I mean. It could give you some time to relax. She's getting bigger and there's no real reason anymore why she can't be with me."

"She's two months old. And I nurse her" Blair pointed out.

"I can bottle feed her."

"I like nursing her."

"I like watching porn spoofs. That doesn't mean I need to do it every day of the week."

"Ew" Blair said. "Chuck stop involving the sordid details of your gross mind in matters that involve the baby."

"All I'm trying to say is, if you need help with her then why not come to me? I'm not a rival for motherly affection."

"I don't need help with her Chuck" Blair said.

"Yes you do. Anybody would."

"Yeah I need someone to watch her while I'm at school, but unless you're suggesting that we divide the school day and I go in the mornings and you in the afternoons then there's not a lot you can do to help me with that."

"This thing with Dorota can't just be because she looks after the baby for a few hours every morning. Blair I'm serious, let me take some more responsibility. You can't do this on your own, and she's my kid too."

"I'm doing just fine. I just need some clearer boundaries at home. _I_ am Grace's mom, not Dorota or anyone else."

"Okay, have it your way, just… just let Dorota spend time with the baby."

"I'm not going to put locks on my door to keep her out" Blair snorted. "I just need it to be clear that it's not her job to drop everything and come running the moment the baby needs something. This is important to me."

He nodded.

"Okay."

"Good. Now I'm late for class."

She walked inside her classroom, feeling like crap. She couldn't believe Dorota had called Chuck asking him to help her. Maybe Blair had been a bit harsh yesterday when she made it clear to Dorota that her job description no longer included tending for the baby. It made Blair feel terribly sad to know Dorota was upset. But she'd rather take Dorota being upset over Grace having the same type of relationship with her as Blair did.

She opened her textbook with a sigh and tried to focus on her French.

* * *

The next day Blair felt like crap when she arrived to school. The previous afternoon had been far too tiring and she hadn't gotten a good night's sleep . Things had gone well yesterday so long as Chuck had been there but as soon as he had left Dorota had come in to beg Blair to let her keep looking after the baby. Blair had sternly told her not to, and to stop pressing the issue. Seeing Dorota so upset had been really difficult and Blair had felt a bit like she was betraying the woman who had taken care of her most of her life. She just couldn't bring herself to let another woman spend enough time around Grace to risk the baby caring for that person the way she only ought to care for Blair.

This morning hadn't been much better either. Eleanor had been home and was looking after Grace while Dorota sported a wounded look which made Blair feel even worse than before. It annoyed Blair that Dorota couldn't mask her disappointment better and she didn't exactly long to spend another evening listening to Dorota's pleas. She most definitely didn't long to spend a whole afternoon listening to it. Chuck had a doctor's appointment after school and wouldn't be showing up for quality time with Grace so she would be on her own with an upset Polish woman all day after school.

After their first class Blair spotted Serena in the hallway and hurried up to her. She needed someone to talk to, badly.

"S!" she said, grabbing her friend by the arm. "There you are. I need to talk to someone. Care to join me in the courtyard?"

"What's up B?" Serena asked while Blair ushered her outside.

"It seems like no matter what I do these days I'm a magnet for drama" Blair sighed dramatically, taking a seat at one of the tables. "Which is frankly annoying since that ought to be your job."

"Oh I think drama is more your forte than mine" Serena replied, reaching inside her bag to grab a fruit. "What's going on?"

"It's Dorota" Blair sighed.

"Dorota?"

"Yeah, she's gone into an incredible mood over not getting to be Grace's number one caretaker" Blair said, wrinkling her forehead. "As if she should even aspire to be! Hello, who carried the baby?"

"Ah I see, it's a Grace issue" Serena said, keeping in a sigh.

"What else is there of importance?" Blair said. "I know I may have relied on Dorota once or twice to change the occasional dirty diaper. Since when does that mean she should be the one who spends the most time with _my_ baby?"

Serena made a face, sick and tired of everything being about the baby. She longed for the good old days when Blair's problems had been about things like boys or her minions or her relationship with her mother. These days it was as if Blair couldn't open her mouth without saying something about the baby.

"How is this a problem?" she said, letting her annoyance shine through a bit. "You don't want to change the diapers yourself, you want to go to school for a few hours every day and you want someone you can trust to look after your baby. I don't get what the big deal is."

"The big deal is when Grace says her first word, which is _going_ to be '_mama_', I'm the one she should be saying it to."

"Oh for crying out loud" Serena sighed. "You know, not everything regarding Grace has to be a big deal. So Dorota looks after her, so what?"

Blair frowned. What had gotten into Serena all of a sudden?

"Why does it bother you that this bothers me?" she asked.

"It doesn't" Serena said, starting to get up from her seat. "I just have more important things to worry about right now. Excuse me B, we'll talk later."

Blair's jaw fell and she turned her head as Serena walked by to see where her friend was going. Off to mingle with Blair's pseudo-minions. How could that be more important than what Blair was talking about?

She was reminded of something Chuck had said a while ago. Something about whether or not things were going well between Blair and Serena. She hadn't thought much about that comment until now but maybe he had asked her for a reason. He was Serena's stepbrother now after all and lived under the same roof as her. Was Serena up to something behind Blair's back? Or was it just that she didn't like being best friends with a teenage mom? When Blair thought about it they hadn't spent nearly as much time together as before once Grace had been born, and it did seem like Serena grew awfully tired awfully fast whenever the subject of the baby came up.

Fantastic. As if she didn't have enough to worry about without her best friend deciding she needed friends who didn't have babies to look after.

* * *

That afternoon Blair stepped off the elevator at the Bass-van der Woodsen residence, holding Grace in her arms. Whatever was going on with Serena right now she would have to step up and help Blair out because she couldn't stand one more minute at home with an upset Dorota. The older woman had now gone from outwardly sulking to passive aggressive and Blair just couldn't deal with it on top of everything else.

She hadn't taken two steps inside the place before Eric materialized from the kitchen. She offered him a disingenuous smile, not in the mood to socialize with little van der Woodsen. He walked up but stopped a few feet away from her.

"Hey Blair."

"Yeah hi."

"And hi Grace." He smiled a little. "She gets bigger every time I see her. You can really see that she looks like Chuck."

"It's just her bone structure" Blair said. "She might still get more of her features from me. Please tell me someone else is home here."

Eric frowned a little, looking a touch offended. Blair sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Not that you won't do but I didn't think you were overly interested in spending quality time with my daughter."

"She is my niece… Though I don't really know what to do with a baby at this age. I think I'll do better when she's at that age where I can play peek-a-boo with her."

Blair smiled halfheartedly and was about to comment when she heard a door open down the hall. She looked up and saw Serena, confused and disappointed when her best friend seemed to hesitate for a second before putting a cheerful smile on her face.

"B!" she said. "And Grace. What a lovely surprise."

"Serena doesn't she look more and more like Chuck every day?" Eric said, nodding towards the baby.

Serena walked up but before she or Blair could think of something to say Chuck's bedroom door opened and he came out to see what was going on. Blair let out a sigh of relief, not really caring that it was obvious she hadn't been looking forward much to Serena's company either. She walked past the van der Woodsen siblings, heading for Chuck.

"Chuck, thank God you're back" she said. "Grace and I are in need of refuge."

He frowned but didn't ask any questions. He held the door open for her and she walked into his room with the baby without another glance at Serena. Chuck looked up at his stepsister with a frown, not really sure what was going on between the two of them but with a look making it clear that whatever it was he was siding with Blair. Serena sighed and he shut the door before she could begin to talk.

"I would say this is a pleasant surprise but the need for refuge sounds disconcerting" he said, turning to look at Blair.

"I just had to get out of the house for a while" she said tiredly, sitting down on his bed, gently placing Grace on the comforter.

"Dorota?"

"She's gone from whiny to passive aggressive."

"She's probably just confused" Chuck offered. "She's been helping you look after Grace ever since she was born… She probably doesn't know what she did to get booted."

"I just made it clear I don't _need_ her help anymore" Blair said.

"Did you?"

She sighed.

"I did not tell her the real reason if that's what you're asking. I can't tell her that. It's too… I mean…"

"Look I know it must be really difficult for you to imagine Grace having a closer relationship with Dorota than with you" Chuck said, walking over with one hand shoved in his pocket and the other gesturing. "However I don't think Dorota will think it's stupid if you tell her. In fact I think she will think it's great that you want to be a more responsible and attentive mother than Eleanor. Dorota loves you but I don't think she wants to outrank the mother in the mother/daughter relationship."

"I think she sees Grace as a surrogate daughter."

"There is no way my daughter is going to love Dorota more than she loves you" Chuck said. "Come on, you're her entire world."

"She's already showing signs of being more attached to Dorota than to me" Blair said with a quivering voice, looking away to try and keep herself from crying.

"I don't believe that" Chuck said softly.

"It's true" Blair said, hating the fact that a tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it away and prayed it would be the last one. "She used to be upset whenever I put her down or handed her over. Now she reacts that way when Dorota does it."

Chuck was silent for a moment, not entirely sure what to say to that. He walked over and sat down next to Blair, grabbing her by the wrists and gently moving her hands away from her face, letting her tears fall freely.

"Grace follows you with her eyes when you move around a room" he said.

"What are you talking about?"

"When I'm holding her or when she's been put down somewhere you can see her little eyes following you wherever you go. If you're out of sight she'll listen to the sound of your voice and move her head that way."

"She will?" Blair sniffled.

"See for yourself."

She turned her head and looked down at the baby. Grace's eyes met hers and the baby smiled happily. Blair sobbed and felt Chuck's hand at the back of her head, gently pressing her closer to him. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm stupid aren't I?" she asked.

"You're doing fine."

She felt better but still couldn't stop herself from crying. It seemed like once the flood gates had been opened there was no closing them. Chuck said nothing, just held her while she cried, his hand stroking her back comfortingly.

After a while she began to try and dry her tears and laughed a little.

"Geez, I don't know where all that came from…" she said.

"Is there something else going on?" he asked.

"Like what?"

"Am I completely crazy for thinking that things aren't all rainbows and sunshine between you and my sis?"

She swallowed and tried drying her tears with the palm of her hand.

"You've mentioned that before" she said. "Do you know something I don't?"

"No" he said. "What is there for me to know that you don't? If you girls aren't getting along you reasonably ought to be aware of it. If you are getting along then there's nothing to know."

"Unless Serena's said something."

"She hasn't."

"Sure about that?"

"I am. Question is if you're having problems with Serena."

"I didn't think I was… She's been acting weird though. Or not weird, but…"

"But what?"

"She doesn't seem to want to hang out as much anymore" Blair said. "At first she was upset that we weren't hanging out as much but lately it's like she's changed her opinion and doesn't have time to talk to me. She's out with friends most of the time or making plans for fabulous nights out." She began to sob again. "I used to make plans for fabulous nights out!"

Chuck said nothing, letting her cry. Up until now Serena seemed to have been able to mask her lack of interest in everything baby related but apparently it couldn't be done anymore. Chuck didn't blame her one bit for wanting to talk about other things than infants and wanting to do things that you couldn't include a little baby in. He had hoped Blair wouldn't pick up on that though, that the baby would be keeping her so busy that she didn't have time to notice that she at present had very few common interests with Serena.

"Nate dumped me, my minions haven't exactly proven to be faithful, my reputation has been completely shot to hell and now I don't even get to keep my best friend?" Blair sobbed.

Chuck made a face at the mentioning of Nate.

"You don't know that you won't get to keep her" he said. "You girls just have different focus right now."

"You mean I've become boring!"

"I did not say that."

"Yes you did. That was the gist. She's still Serena van der Woodsen, every man's fantasy and every girl's idol, the best, funniest girl on all the Upper East Side. And I'm that girl who had a baby in high school and who slipped into oblivion and when we're at a reunion ten years from now the only thing people are going to remember about me is that baby."

"You're being dramatic" Chuck said.

"I am not."

"Instead of covering my shirt in enough tears to fill a bathtub why don't you talk to Serena and ask her what's going on?" Chuck suggested.

"What?"

"You can either just assume that she's no longer interested in your friendship and cry your eyes out about it, or you could go talk to her and actually find out what's what. If she is avoiding you then it seems better to talk it out."

"I'm supposed to take friendship advice from the guy who had only one friend and managed to alienate him?" Blair replied, sitting up straight and drying her tears.

"Talk to her or don't, either way is fine by me" Chuck said, rising from the bed. "Seeing as you will be stuck here for a couple of hours until Eleanor gets home you might as well make good use of the time."

He lifted Grace up from the bed and walked over to his dresser, fishing out a pacifier from a top drawer. Blair watched him with the baby for a moment and decided he was right. She was emotional enough as it was, she didn't need to add any drama that might not even exist in the first place. Right now she could have a discussion with Serena without Grace being involved in any way and if an overdose of baby was the root of the problem that might be an advantage.

She got up and quickly checked herself in the mirror, noticing her puffy eyes and realizing no amount of makeup could fix this fast enough. She shrugged a shoulder and decided to blame it on the Dorota thing if Serena wondered what she had been crying about. There was no way she would let Serena know she had cried over _her_.

She walked up to Serena's door and knocked. Then she felt stupid for knocking on her best friend's door but since she had chosen that road she might as well stay on it. She stood there prim and proper, her hands clasped at the small of her back, giving Serena her best casual look when she opened the door.

"Going somewhere S?" she asked with an uninterested voice, raising an eyebrow at the not-exactly-school-night clothes Serena was wearing.

"The girls are meeting up at Butter in half an hour for drinks" Serena said.

"Really?"

"We would have invited you but since you just canned Dorota I figured you wouldn't be able to get a babysitter."

Blair frowned. Serena sounded so snarky, as if she was mad at Blair over something. If anyone should be upset it was Blair. Hearing that the girls were meeting for drinks and hadn't even thought to mention it to her really stung. It couldn't be any clearer that regardless of whether or not her minions were beginning to return to the fold she still wasn't one of them the way she had used to be. She might be able to rule during school hours but once the bell rang they went off to parties and bars and fabulous shopping trips while Blair went home to battle with her maid over the affections of her daughter.

"Oh" was all she could muster to say. "Well then I should leave you. You're busy."

She turned on her heel and walked back into Chuck's room, too confused over what was going on and too saddened by the feeling of being an outcast to have any desire to talk things out with Serena.

Chuck looked up from the baby when she closed the door and leaned against it.

"Go" he said with a frown. "You're not getting the baby back until you've talked to her."

"I did talk to her" Blair attempted.

"Then let me be more specific. Until you've had a good and _long_ talk to Serena about everything that's going on between the two of you, Grace stays with me."

"God Bass, must you do parenting dress rehearsals on me?"

He raised both eyebrows urging her to get moving and with a groan she walked out of his room and back to Serena's. Again she knocked on the door and fell into her most prim and proper pose waiting for Serena to open up.

"What B?" Serena asked with a sigh when she opened. "Let me guess. You're selling girl scout cookies on Grace's behalf."

"You know I find the scouts lewd" Blair frowned.

"What do you want then? I'm running late."

"I want to talk" Blair said.

"Can't it wait? Look I'm sorry you messed things up with Dorota but that problem is either getting solved on its own today or it will still be here tomorrow. We can talk about it then."

"Serena" Blair said. "Did I do something? Why are you acting like you're mad at me?"

"I'm not mad" Serena said, leaving the door to walk over to her dresser. "I just have places to be and people to see."

"None of those people ever seem to be me anymore" Blair said, walking inside and closing the door.

"Drinks are better at Butter than in your room."

"Serena please, you've got to talk to me" Blair said. "You're the only friend I've got left since I had Grace."

"What about Chuck?"

"He's not a friend, he's… I mean yeah he's sort of a friend still but… Come on S, you know what I mean."

"Look B, I may be your only friend right now but I've got a lot of friends aside from you" Serena said, putting on a pair of large hoop earrings. "And I'm meeting those friends really soon so if you don't mind this conversation can wait."

"So you're just… done being my friend?"

"That's not even almost what I said."

"It is what you're saying, just not in those words. You've been avoiding me lately."

"Okay" Serena admitted with a sigh, one hand placed on her hip. "Maybe I have been avoiding you. Subconsciously. B it's just… I want to spend time with my best friend. I want to be able to talk to you about the things that are going on in my life."

"You can."

"I want to be able to do the same kind of stuff with you as I used to. But now everything is always about the baby, and you can't do this or that because of the baby, and we can't talk right now because the baby needs something, and on the subject of whatever I'm talking about you've just _got_ to tell me something that has to do with the baby."

"I'm sorry if I'm a bit single-minded these days" Blair said. "Grace is pretty much all I see. I think it's some kind of instinct that makes you have nothing but your infant on your mind. What I don't get is why you don't just tell me that you're tired of that."

"I've tried telling you B" Serena said.

She had tried, but she hadn't been completely honest. She didn't like to admit it to herself but the truth was that she was quite a bit jealous of Grace. She knew it was insane to be jealous of an infant but she couldn't help it. Whenever she wanted to see her best friend or talk to her about something she got upstaged by the child. Blair had always come first to Serena and Serena had always come first to Blair. Now she had been booted to second place and even though she knew that had to happen when the baby came it was still difficult. And she couldn't tell Blair about any of this. She had no idea how Blair would react to something like that and it didn't seem wise to bring it up. Blair would probably get upset and tell Serena she was being selfish and childish and Serena knew that Blair would be right. She knew her feelings were stupid and wrong but she couldn't help feeling them.

"I also don't get why you can't show a little time and consideration for the fact that everything in my life has been turned on its head and I have a need to talk about this huge life-altering thing" Blair said. "You're supposed to be my friend too, you know. I'm not just supposed to be there for you. I get that it's annoying that when you try to talk about some new club you want to go to I end up talking about something Grace did that day but why is it such a bother to you that you don't even want to be around me anymore?"

"Because my stuff matters too" Serena blurted out.

Blair silently studied Serena for a moment before answering. It was not the answer she had expected.

"I never said your stuff didn't matter" she then said.

"Maybe not but the more you talk about Grace all the time and the less you're able to do anything without including her the more I feel like none of the things I do are important. Like my life is stupid and pointless just because I'm not a mother."

"S I would trade lives with you in a heartbeat" Blair said. "God, I mean… I love Grace so much but I want to be able to be young and have fun and go out and hang with my friends. _I_'_m_ the one who doesn't have a real life. Mine only revolves around an infant. Diapers and spit-up and bottles and pacifiers and baby-wipes... You, you're out there, having fun, meeting guys, wearing great outfits, getting on page six… You get to be a teenager. Do you have any idea how much that's worth? I wouldn't give my baby up for anything but... every once in a while it would be nice to get to be... you know... young and irresponsible again."

Serena looked surprised at Blair's comeback. She took a while to say anything back, not sure at first what to say.

"B I… I didn't even know you wanted to do stuff outside of taking care of Grace."

"S do you really think that I've changed so much that I am fully content just going to school and taking care of a baby? Admittedly that was all I had the energy for at first but don't you think I long for the lifestyle you're supposed to have at seventeen?"

"It doesn't really feel like you think I do much of value when you can't stop talking about your baby."

"It's annoying. I know" Blair winced.

"I know she's important" Serena said. "But you can try to talk about something else every once in a blue moon."

"I'll try to tone down the baby talk" Blair agreed.

"Good" Serena said and smiled slightly. "And I'm sorry too. I know I haven't been overly supportive lately."

"You should get going. You're going to be late."

Serena grabbed her purse from the nightstand and followed Blair out the door. They ran into Chuck who was just walking out of his room with Grace in his arms.

"She needs a diaper change" he told Blair, looking slightly disgusted.

"Have fun tonight" Blair said to Serena with a small smile.

"B I wish you could come too" Serena said, grabbing Blair's hands. "It's nowhere near as much fun without you."

Blair smiled but turned her head and looked at the baby.

"I've already got a date with someone else" she said jokingly.

"You know what?" Chuck said. "Go. You should go."

"Really?" Serena said.

"You could use a night out like a normal teenager, Blair" Chuck said. "Grace is fine with me. We can have a little bonding session or something."

"You're sure that's okay?" Blair asked.

"What, me looking after my spawn? You might want to run to Serena's closet and pick something out that doesn't smell like spit-up."

"B what do you say?" Serena asked with a big grin.

"I love it" Blair said, laughing a bit. "Great, I haven't been out for ages!"

Serena cheered and clapped her hands. Blair walked over to Chuck and spontaneously placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"Thank you Chuck!" She then gave the baby a big kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later, angel face. Have fun with Daddy!"

Laughing giddily she and Serena more or less bounced back into Serena's room to find Blair some other clothes to wear. Chuck smiled slightly, resisting the urge to let his fingers touch the spot she had kissed, and headed for the bathroom to change Grace's diaper.

* * *

It was almost midnight by the time Serena and Blair came back. Chuck was sitting on his bed with his laptop and Grace was asleep in the crib when he heard the two girls getting in. He got up from the bed and walked out to greet them. To his surprise Blair was quite tipsy.

"So I see you girls had fun" he commented.

"S says I'm drunk" Blair giggled. "I so am not. I only had like… three drinks."

"Your first three in almost a year" Chuck pointed out.

"God Chuck we had _so_ much fun!"

"Yeah I figured you did. Even more so after ten when you stopped calling every fifteen minutes to see how Grace was doing."

"I had to take her phone" Serena shrugged.

"Did everything go okay?" Blair asked.

"Baby's sleeping peacefully."

It had gone well, for the most part. The only problem had been that Chuck had soon realized Blair hadn't brought any bottles with her so he had had to call Dorota and ask her if there were any bottles at Blair's place. Dorota had brought a couple of bottles over and he had let her feed Grace, though he would never let Blair know it.

"You know what?" Blair said. "It's a school night. Grace and I should be on our way."

"Blair I'm not sending you off with the baby when you're tipsy" Chuck frowned.

"I'm not tipsy!" Blair objected.

"Yeah you are. Besides, put Grace down for the night already, we should let her sleep."

"It's not like I'm going to go running around with my baby after I've had alcohol" Blair snorted. "I'm not a complete idiot. I'll call Mother and have her come pick us up."

"Spend the night B" Serena said. "Come on, it will be fun!"

"Serena's right" Chuck said. "Like I said Grace is asleep. You might as well spend the night."

"Why not?" Blair said with a shrug and strolled towards Chuck's room. "I'm just going to go say goodnight to my baby. And then I'm going to stop talking about my baby."

Chuck glanced over at Serena and wondered if he should ask more about what they had been up to, or even if they were okay now. Then he decided against it. It was none of his business anyway.

"I should go after her" Chuck he said, just to say something.

"Sure."

Chuck shrugged and followed Blair into his room. He smiled at the sight of her leaning over the crib, beaming after a fun night out, whispering to the sleeping child.

"It's getting late" he said gently. "You need some sleep and frankly I think I do too. I'll bottle feed her in a few hours and then come wake you up if she's hungry again before morning."

"Okay" Blair nodded. She walked towards the door and stopped just before exiting the room. "I had a great time tonight. Thanks for looking after her."

She planted another kiss on his cheek. Before he could answer she had left the room. He smiled slightly and headed to bed.

* * *

So that's all I have for this week =) See you next time.


	30. Chapter 30

Update is brief this time around since I've got far too much to do at work these days. And also because this chapter is basically just addressing an issue I thought I should address before I start kicking up something resembling a storyline! That deserved an exclamation point because I know it's been kind of light on the plot threads recently =) Anyway, I would like to thank all the people who have sent me encouragements lately. I've needed them, with my work load and somewhat failing interest in GG. So thank you very much!

With that, here's the latest installment. And happy birthday to reviewer Amy!

* * *

Chuck leaned casually against the elevator wall, twirling his shopping bag in his hand. He had gotten up early and in lack of better things to do gone out to do some shopping. He hadn't found much, just a jacket in a color that was sure to drive Bart crazy and a pair of shoes that probably cost as much as Dan Humphrey's entire wardrobe.

When he reached the penthouse he strolled lazily inside, planning to go to his room and sit by his computer for a few hours. Possibly going to a porn website and cranking the volume up really loudly if Serena was home, for no other reason than to annoy her. He grinned slightly as he thought of her coming storming in to tell him how gross he was, only to find him reading on the bed while the computer entertained no one in particular on the dresser.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed they had visitors. Blair, looking extremely prim and proper in a blue dress suit, a white headband and a pearl necklace, was sitting on the couch together with Bart. She was holding Grace with a proud smile, talking to the little baby who was wearing navy blue overalls over a white shirt, thereby color-coordinated with her mother.

"There we go Grace" Blair said smiling, placing a white and navy blue pacifier in the baby's mouth.

"She gets bigger every time I see her" Bart said.

"Eats like a pig" Blair replied.

Bart leaned in to coo the baby and Chuck had to shake his head to remind himself not to let his jaw drop. What was Blair doing there? They hadn't made any plans to meet up. Had they? And what was she doing being all cozy on the couch with Bart?

Chuck harked and Blair and Bart both looked up at him.

"Chuck" Blair said, smiling contently.

"Hello Chuck" Bart said, taking the baby from Blair.

"I didn't realize we had scheduled family time" Chuck said.

"Blair and Grace stopped by for a visit" Bart said, resting the baby against his shoulder. "I thought you might have just missed each other since you weren't here when she arrived, but I see you went shopping instead."

Chuck didn't fail to notice the dig Bart made. Apparently going shopping was un-parently and all his spare time should be spent being in the same room as the baby, whether she was awake or not.

"I had some errands to run" he said.

"Did you buy anything for Grace?" Blair asked.

"Not unless she likes leather shoes."

He walked past them to go leave his bags in his room. When he came back out Bart was still holding the baby and Blair was leaned over, fiddling with something on Grace's back and chatting merrily with Bart. The scene brought back memories of the time Chuck had watched them have some sort of strange bonding moment while Blair was still pregnant, and he didn't care for it one bit. And on some strange level it made him jealous to see Bart fuss so much over Grace when all he seemed to direct towards Chuck was chastises.

He walked over and took a seat on the couch opposite them.

"What brings you by Blair?" he asked.

"Grace hasn't been here a lot" she said. "She wanted to pay a visit to Grandpa'." Then she shot Chuck a smile. "And to her daddy, of course."

"Really. How very verbal of a baby who's not yet three months old."

"She is very good at expressing her desires" Blair said, rubbing the baby's back.

"You should have called me first. I'm sure my father has a lot of business to attend to."

"Nothing that can't wait" Bart said. "How often do I get to spend the day with my granddaughter?"

Chuck decided that silence was golden and said nothing. Bart seemed the biggest hypocrite in the world to him. When had Bart ever thought his own child more important than business? But apparently when it came to Grace a million dollar business deal or two were not that much of a loss. The baby had clearly inherited her mother's charm.

"I take it Serena is out" Chuck said, just to make conversation.

"Why would you think that?" Blair asked.

"Because there's a baby in the house and if she were home she would be cooing over it, now that the two of you are besties again" Chuck said, leaning back on the couch.

"Don't refer to our daughter as '_it_'" Blair said with a frown.

"Will you be staying long?"

"I asked Blair to join us for lunch" Bart said.

"How hospitable" Chuck remarked. "So Blair, what is the real reason for you stopping by?"

"Chuck don't be rude" Bart warned.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I find it strange that you would decide to bring the baby over here without the intent of seeing Serena."

"I told you," Blair said, "Grace wanted to see you."

"If you wanted me to spend time with the baby you would have called" Chuck pointed out. "In fact you would have called and ordered me to stop by your place."

"I am a lot more spontaneous than you give me credit for" Blair replied.

"Blair can I get you anything?" Bart asked, handing Grace back to her mother before rising from the couch.

"A glass of orange juice would be lovely."

Bart walked towards the kitchen and Chuck turned to Blair with a prodding eyebrow raised.

"Well?"

"Okay fine" Blair said. "Mom's new boyfriend Cyrus is coming over today so I thought I'd get out of the house."

"Running away from your mother's boyfriend? I'll remember that and tell Grace how you handled such situations when she gets older and you start dragging home college boys."

"I'm not surprised you wouldn't think further than that" Blair said. "Cyrus is by all accounts amazing. He's been one of my mother's attorneys since the divorce. He asked her out when they first met but she said no, not wanting to mix business with pleasure. Since he's a relentless romantic he continued his pursuit of her and she finally agreed to dinner. This was during spring, but she didn't want to tell me about it because I had so much to deal with, being pregnant and all. But she's completely smittened with him ever since that dinner. So actually, this is going to set a great example for Grace, her grandmother finding a dashing new man to marry, giving me the perfect stepfather of my own."

"So why run away when Mr. Right Senior comes to the house?"

"I want the first time he meets the baby to be absolutely perfect. Mother really likes him, I don't want him scared off by a less than pristine baby and I didn't have the time to give Grace a bath before he was supposed to arrive. I decided I can meet him later on, at my birthday."

"Speaking of which, I hear the grand eighteen marks your return to the party scene" Chuck said.

"You're absolutely right" Blair said, accepting the glass of orange juice Bart returned with and thanking him before taking a sip.

"I take it this means that being a teenage mother and having your sights set on Yale doesn't feel like enough on your platter and you're also gunning for having your crown back."

"Once I start pursuing it for real it will merely be a formality" Blair said, full of confidence. "The girls will be at my command within no-time."

"I must say I admire your drive" Bart said, sitting down on the other side of Chuck.

"Thank you" Blair smiled.

"Yes you certainly are driven" Chuck agreed. "Perhaps a touch _too_ driven? They say people who have small children are more prone to getting gastric ulcers."

"It wouldn't kill _you_ to show some drive" Bart remarked. "What colleges did you even visit this fall?"

"Yale" Chuck said. "A half-decent school, sure, but at least better than nothing."

Blair looked offended and Chuck shot her a teasing grin.

"You should try getting your grades up if you want to go to Yale" Bart remarked. "Not that monetary arrangements can't be made of course, but with your current grades it would be a bit _too_ glaring."

Chuck glared at his father.

"Since when do you even look at my grades?" he asked.

Blair nervously focused on the baby, feeling pretty awkward getting caught in the middle of this particular discussion. Not that she hadn't seen Chuck bicker with his father before, but that didn't mean she liked it.

"Grace is going to be a Yale alumni when she grows up" she said in a cheerful tone, hoping to defuse the budding argument. "Aren't you, sweetie?"

"I veto any pet bulldogs" Chuck said.

"I can get a bulldog if I want" Blair objected.

"They're ugly and they're slobbery and I don't think they're very sanitary to have around a child."

"It pleases me to hear that you have plans for Grace's future" Bart said, interrupting the squabble.

"I always think ahead" Blair smiled.

"While we're talking about her future, I feel there should be some consideration given to her name."

"Her name?" Blair echoed, unsure of what he meant.

"While Waldorf is a fine name with a lot of prestige behind it, a lot more doors would open for her if she were a Bass."

"Chuck and I made an agreement" Blair said, resting the baby against her shoulder. "If we had a girl her name would be Waldorf. If the baby had turned out to be a boy we would have named him Bass."

"That's sweet" Bart said, clearly not thinking that it was. "But I'm thinking practically here. Grace Bass will have much better opportunities in life than Grace Waldorf."

"And she would also have quite a reputation to shake" Blair objected with a frown. "With all due respect, Basses are hardly seen as prim and proper and I don't want my girl to be seen as a hedonist."

"Bass _men_ are seen as hedonists. Bass women on the other hand…"

"There are no Bass women. Except for Lily, and you'll excuse me but I don't want my baby to be seen the same way Serena is."

"She will be seen the way you raise her to be" Bart argued. "But with the last name Bass she will have a whole other set of rules to live by. Opportunities like no other child on the Upper East Side. I'm sure you agree with me Chuck."

Chuck said nothing. He didn't really care much either way. Perhaps he would once it finally sunk in that he was related to Grace, _if_ that ever sunk in. Although he couldn't help but wonder if he would feel more connected to her if they shared a surname. Nevertheless he wasn't particularly keen on siding with his father on any matter right now.

"Grace's last name is Waldorf and that's how it will stay" Blair insisted. "Besides, you don't pair a one-syllable given name with a one-syllable last name. It sounds off."

"Like Bart or Chuck?" Bart retorted.

"You really should go by Bartholomew" Blair said with a fake smile.

"Can't we just call her Waldorf-Bass and be done with it?" Chuck suggested.

"I don't like hyphens" Blair and Bart said in unison.

"Wow" Chuck remarked. "Stereo. I think the two of you have been spending too much time together."

"Bart I see where you're coming from and I appreciate your concern but Chuck and I made an agreement and the baby's name stays Waldorf."

"She is my granddaughter" Bart said. "My grandchild should carry my name."

"That's very lovely, in a nineteenth century kind of way" Blair said, getting quite irritated. "But this is the twenty-first century. We've evolved."

"This is not a gender issue it's an issue of the child's best interest" Bart said, keeping surprisingly calm in spite of her snarls. "Why not give her all the advantages my name can bring?"

"This is not up for discussion" Blair said sternly. "Chuck?"

"My suggestion is Waldorf-Bass" he said. "If you don't like it then you two can battle it out amongst yourselves. I don't see where the issue lies. She's still going to be your granddaughter Dad if her last name is Waldorf, and she's still going to be your daughter Blair if her name is Bass."

"She stays Waldorf" Blair said firmly. "End of discussion."

"The issue has not been settled" Bart disagreed.

"This is not your baby Bart" Blair said angrily. "You don't get a vote."

"You may be her mother but you are still a teenager" Bart replied. "The two of you are children who had a child."

"So this is really about how irresponsible we are as parents?" Chuck concluded with an annoyed frown.

"What I'm saying is that I have a lot more life experience than you do and I can see things from a broader perspective" Bart said.

"I don't care what your perspective is" Blair said, rising to her feet. "Excuse me. It's time for Grace's nap and when she wakes up she will still be a Waldorf. Chuck I'm putting her down in your room."

"Knock yourself out" Chuck said.

She strode to his bedroom and Chuck sighed and avoided looking at his father. He was really beginning to wish he had gone shopping with Serena rather than going solo. If he had gone with his stepsister he wouldn't have been getting home for hours yet and he could have avoided this whole thing.

* * *

"You should talk to Blair" Bart said that afternoon once Blair had left.

"Talk to her?" Chuck echoed. "She was here for three hours. Did you happen to notice I spoke to her then?"

"Don't try and be cute" Bart said. "You should talk to her about Grace's surname."

"What for, Dad?" Chuck sighed. "We made a deal before. Besides we're not married so why should she agree to change the name now?"

"Marriage or not that child is a member of this family and will one day inherit Bass Industries."

"At which point she will probably be married anyway and have whatever name her husband has" Chuck pointed out. "Or did you plan on skipping me and giving everything directly to her when you die? Even so you're going to have to hurry up and bite the dust within about twenty years or so."

"That's quite enough Chuck."

"Or maybe you could put a clause in your will, stating that Grace can inherit everything so long as she changes her last name to Bass."

"That's _enough_ Chuck. You're letting Blair call far too many shots. You need to get involved in this."

"Frankly Dad I don't care about the stuff Blair calls the shots on" Chuck said. "What Grace is going to wear tomorrow and which mother-baby activities she wants to drag the poor kid to makes little difference in my life."

The elevator rang and Lily came walking in, carrying about as many shopping bags as one person could carry. Chuck was tempted to breathe a sigh in relief, hoping Lily's arrival would distract Bart enough to drop the subject.

"Hello you two" Lily said, giving Bart a kiss on the cheek.

"Retail therapy?" Chuck asked.

"This is not a small matter" Bart argued, refusing to be distracted by his wife's arrival. "I don't understand how you can be so indifferent."

"What difference does it make to me if her name is Waldorf or Bass?" Chuck asked.

"As her father I would assume you would want the two of you to share a name" Bart replied, giving Chuck his best frown of disapproval.

"I see you've launched your quest to change Grace's name to Bass" Lily noted, placing her bags on the couch.

"I should have guessed this has been brewing for a while" Chuck commented dryly.

"It's a serious matter" Bart said. "She's your child and should thus have your name."

"What the hell does it matter?" Chuck sighed. "She's got my DNA in her teeny tiny veins no matter whose name she's got. Perhaps Blair is reluctant to change the name because she's worried you're going to take over completely and make Grace all Bass. One can't really blame her for fearing such an outcome."

"Well I have to agree with your father" Lily said, although no one had asked her. "I think Bass is the better choice for your daughter's last name."

"Good grief, why can't the both of you just accept that the only two people whose opinions actually matter in this case are both fine with calling her Waldorf?" Chuck groaned. "Excuse me, I'll be in my room."

He walked into his bedroom, eager to get some time to himself away from his annoyingly controlling father, but found that Bart had followed him. Chuck groaned again and let himself fall back on the bed. He wouldn't have minded changing Grace's name to Bass but with Bart pushing the issue so insistently he became more and more determined to agree with Blair. He refused to cave to his father's demands, especially when they were presented this way.

"How old do I have to be before you start respecting my opinion?" he asked.

"How old do you have to get before you start respecting mine?" Bart countered, closing the door behind him. "It's really in everybody's best interest to-"

"You're just worrying about your name being carried on to the next generation" Chuck said. "Maybe you'll get lucky and I'll some day get married and have a son. Then you'll have a nice, shiny Bass heir who won't get married and change the name anyway. Unless of course he turns out to be gay and wants his husband's surname."

"I've had about enough of this attitude."

"I've had about enough of this disapproval" Chuck countered. "Do I ever do anything right? I can't even name my own child properly according to you."

"I haven't said anything about her given name."

"When I told you her name was Grace you said we should have called her Charlotte or Courtney."

"Grace is fine."

"How benevolent of you. I think I just got all warm and fuzzy on the inside."

"Is it such a wonder that I disapprove?" Bart asked, getting irritated. "You haven't taken any steps to securing your daughter's future."

"Steps such as what?" Chuck asked. "You already set up a trust fund for her. We applied to the best schools before she was even born. What else can you do when the kid's in the diaper stage? Teach her how to behave on the Upper East Side? Show her which fork she should eat her salad with? Something tells me that kind of parenting is wasted on someone who can't even hold her own head up."

"Changing her name to Bass is going to-"

"Changing her name to Bass is going to accomplish what _you_ want it to accomplish. Did you ever stop to think that maybe that's not what Blair and I want? Or that maybe you don't have all the answers? I'm not the most well-adjusted kid around in case you haven't noticed, so forgive me if I don't see you as a parenting guru."

"Grace Bass will have the world at her feet. All the Bass prestige, all the Bass influence. The name alone will open any door she wants to go through."

"Maybe. But Grace Waldorf will be a natural member of high society in a way that you and I never have been. The Upper East Side _tolerates_ the Basses. They don't embrace them. We're new money and we don't know how to behave."

"Some of us don't at any rate."

"Right, you have always been seen as a model of virtue."

"I may have led a different lifestyle in the past but that is behind me now" Bart said. "May I remind you that you are legally a child and I am your parent? You should start listening to me. My granddaughter has the right to the Bass name and she should have it."

"You know, once I turn eighteen you have no more control, so any changes or arrangements you try and force upon us now can easily be undone."

"Maybe if you play your cards right for a change the name issue can find a very natural, and permanent, solution."

"Am I supposed to understand what that meant?"

"You and Blair…"

"Me and Blair what?"

"If you're smart you'll make an active pursuit of that girl."

"Oh God" Chuck groaned, lifting himself up on his elbows. "Dad."

"Her name and her family does have a certain prestige that we lack. She's well-bred, driven and is as intelligent as you are. Blair Waldorf would be a good match for you even without Grace involved. As it is now she's ideal."

Chuck rolled his eyes.

"Now, Father, you're living in the past" he quoted '_Sleeping Beauty_'. "This is the fourteenth century. Nowadays…"

"Spare me your wit."

"I am not going to go after Blair because you've decided we should be betrothed. The whole arranged marriage thing is not my preferred method of finding a wife. Besides, I have no plans of tying myself down to anyone before I'm thirty."

"Do you think I can't see the way you look at her?"

"That's not love, that's sexual attraction" Chuck claimed, letting himself fall back down. "How do you think Grace was made?"

"I've seen you with your conquests before. You don't look at them that way."

"Maybe you should spend less time having opinions about my love life and spend more time worrying about your own" Chuck said, eager to change the subject. "Lily only shops like that when something's bothering her. Either you've done something to set her off or someone else is occupying her thoughts. Either way it doesn't bode well for you."

"I think I know my wife better than you do."

"Really? Why, because of your folders in the safe? How much can you really tell about someone based off a folder?"

"I was able to tell enough about Blair to know she's perfect for you. Pristine and proper outwardly but a bit of a devil when she thinks no one is looking. Enough class to keep you in shape, enough spark to keep you interested."

"You had your PI check up on Blair?"

"Don't act surprised. The girl was pregnant with my grandchild."

"The fact that she's been my friend since kindergarten should have meant you knew enough about her already but clearly the best parents are the one who pay no attention until they feel required to, at which point they pay someone else to tell them all they might need to know. Put tabs on Lily, Eric and Serena all you want, but leave Blair out of it. She's not your family. Only Grace is. But if you ever make a folder on Grace I will retaliate. _I_ decide if the way we get to know her is through a PI."

"One day you will be coming to me, _begging_ to read my folder on Grace" Bart said and opened the door. "Retaliate all you want."

"Dangerous words. I know most of your dirty secrets."

"Unfortunately for you, I know _all_ of yours."

Bart walked out and Chuck let out a growl. He would have to go up to the safe and run Blair's folder through the shredder. He had few qualms about sending a PI after someone himself, but he much objected to his father reading up on Blair like that.

He got up from the bed and walked over to his closet to change his clothes. It was still early but the sooner he got out of the house the better. He'd much rather spend the evening getting drunk at Victrola than spending it within a ten block radius of his father.

When he walked out of his room he realized he had caught his father and stepmother in the middle of what seemed to be a not-too-pleasant conversation. He almost couldn't contain a smirk. So he had been right then, something was not quite right in paradise.

"Charles!" Lily said, trying to sound like nothing was wrong. "You're going out?"

"Correct."

"Where are you going at this hour?" Bart asked. "It's not even dinner time yet."

"Out."

"To do what exactly?"

"Oh nothing much…" Chuck said, grabbing one of his jackets from the closet before pressing the button to call the elevator. "I figured I ought to go find myself a wife so I can breed an heir to the glorious Bass empire."

"That's enough" Bart said, sounding really tired of his son's antics.

"I take it that means I can't borrow the Bass jet to head off to Vegas once I find a suitable woman?" Chuck said dryly.

Before his father could answer Chuck stepped on to the elevator and pressed the button to get to the lobby. With a tired sigh he closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. He was so tired of all of this. He couldn't even bother to care about what was wrong between his father and Lily. Most likely it was that Brooklyn trash anyway and if his father couldn't protect his marriage against some lowlife from the wrong part of the city then obviously that marriage wasn't meant to be to begin with.

He stepped off the elevator and headed out to find some distraction.

* * *

New update will follow in a few days, hopefully. Thanks for reading!


	31. Chapter 31

This update isn't too long either, but at least I got it up rather quickly ;) It borrows some bits from an episode of the show but not much. Also, it appears I spoke too soon in my last AN. I was going to start up a new storyline with this update but I realised I needed to move this chapter (which I wrote a while ago actually) and post it now or the timeline will start getting really weird. Sorry about that. Hope you'll like it anyhow!

* * *

"Mama's eighteen today!" Dorota gushed to the baby in Eleanor's arms, and looked up at Blair with a beaming smile. "Say 'Happy Birthday'!"

"Happy birthday!" Eleanor said, sitting down on the edge of Blair's bed.

"Happy birthday to me!" Blair gushed to the baby. "Breakfast in bed? You really do take eighteen seriously."

"It was baby's suggestion" Dorota said with a happy grin which Blair knew meant that '_baby_' in this case was code for '_Dorota_'.

"Hey, come sit with me" Blair said, taking Grace into her arms as she sat up in bed and leaned back against the headboard.

"We have already fed her" Eleanor said while Dorota placed the breakfast trey on the bed. "You can have your own breakfast in peace and quiet."

"What time is it?" Blair wondered.

"Almost seven."

"And she's been quiet?" Blair said, surprised.

"We thought you could use more sleep on birthday" Dorota said, taking a seat on the other side of Blair's bed. "Went in and got baby before she woke up."

"And have you been a good girl?" Blair asked Grace.

The baby wasn't paying any attention to her mother. She was busy slowly moving her hand back and forth, following it with eyes that were wide with amazement.

"She discovered own hand this morning" Dorota needlessly filled Blair in.

"I'll take her again" Eleanor said and lifted the baby back into her own arms. "Otherwise you won't be able to eat."

"I'm so excited for my party" Blair chirped and clapped her hands together before digging in on her breakfast. "First party I've been to in _ages_. First party I've _hosted_ for ages. I'm so pleased my birthday this year is followed by a two-day break, so I can have my birthday party on the exact day I turn eighteen!"

"It will be one for the ages" Dorota grinned.

"Did you call the caterers?" Blair asked.

"Everything is ready" Eleanor said. "Stop thinking about your party and start enjoying everything else that comes with your birthday. You're eighteen now. Legally an adult. My granddaughter now has at least _one_ adult parent."

"Her other parent is Chuck, so this is as many adult parents as she'll ever get" Blair commented.

"Which reminds me" Eleanor said. "Bart Bass sent over flowers. Eighteen roses. I would say that's a touch inappropriate but they were yellow, so it's alright."

"Roses are still roses" Dorota objected.

"Yellow roses are a sign of friendship" Blair pointed out.

"Roses are still roses" Dorota insisted.

"Did Daddy send anything?" Blair asked.

"Harold sends his love" Eleanor said. "And I'm sure there is a gift on the way, but nothing has arrived yet."

Blair looked a touch disappointed but then the smile was back on her face. She finished her breakfast and leaned in to give the baby another kiss. No matter if her father's gift hadn't arrived yet. She didn't mind dragging her birthday out for a few days. Besides, there was so much to be excited about. The party for one, but also meeting her mother's new boyfriend. She had heard so much about Cyrus Rose and was dying to meet this man who had so utterly charmed her mother. They were going to have dinner the following evening and Blair couldn't wait.

But first there was her birthday celebration. She had spent an hour the previous night picking out what outfit she would wear to school and what accessories to use with it. She hadn't felt this excited about going out the door in a good while. Today she was going to walk around Constance Billard like a queen, no matter what any of the other students thought of it. And then she would host the best party this year.

* * *

"Hey."

Chuck was surprised to hear Nate's voice address him. But he was in too bad a mood to bother with any particular pleasantries. He settled for glancing quickly up at Nate and then returning his focus to putting books into his locker.

"Hey."

Nate didn't say anything else at first. Chuck didn't say anything either. If Nate had decided he suddenly wanted to talk then he could do the damn talking.

"What is that smell?" Nate suddenly said. "Dude, your scarf smells like… like hell."

"It smells like spit-up" Chuck said, putting the last book in his locker. "Grace spit up on it and dry cleaning seems to be useless against the damn stench. Did you have anything on your mind Archibald, or have you just run out of friends?"

"Actually I was wondering if you were going to Blair's party."

"Why, so you know whether or not _you_ want to come?" Chuck asked dryly, closing his locker. "The answer is no, I'm not going."

"You're not?"

"I've got the baby" Chuck said and began to walk to his classroom with Nate in tow. "Screaming, smelly people requiring constant attention are not very hot attractions at a birthday party. Which is probably why I'm guessing you weren't invited."

"I was invited."

"Go figure."

"Look, I'm just asking you because well… I want to get Blair something."

"It's her birthday so most people are probably of the same mind" Chuck sighed. "Just go to the jewelers and see which pieces she put on hold. That's what you've always done before."

"Jewelry might send the wrong idea, wouldn't you say?" Nate said.

"Maybe. I don't get why you're talking to me about this."

"I wanted to give her something related to the baby" Nate said. "We did, after all, for a while there think the baby could be mine."

"But she's not yours, which makes you… nothing to Grace. Get Blair a nice pashmina and stop over-thinking."

"Chuck I want to get her something serious" Nate said. "I know I wasn't the most supportive person when she was pregnant, and-"

"And you think you can make up for that now by buying my daughter a sailboat mobile?" Chuck asked with a dry smirk, entertained by Nate's line of thinking.

"I'm thinking the baby is the most important thing in Blair's life right now so giving her something for the baby would show Blair that I care. And she would also probably be more happy to get something for the baby than for herself."

"Now you're confusing me. I thought we were having a conversation about Blair Waldorf. Who are you talking about?"

"Funny."

"I don't get why you're even talking to me about this."

"I'm just curious about what the baby might need that I could give to Blair, that's all" Nate said, stopping to finish the discussion outside of the classroom.

"She doesn't have the ability to sit unsupported. You could give her that."

"Come on man, I'm serious."

"Why don't you stick to what you know and buy her a big bag of disappointment" Chuck sighed and walked into the classroom, done with the conversation.

* * *

Chuck lay on his side on his bed, propped up against his left hand, with the baby on her back next to him. The baby was dressed in white tights and a yellow blouse, with a matching headband on her tiny little head. Next to her on the bed was a pair of yellow shoes with a plastic daisy on them. Whenever the baby left the Waldorf penthouse Blair made sure she had a complete and matching outfit.

Grace's eyes were on her father's scarf and she greedily reached up her tiny little hands to grab it. Chuck put his hand in her way.

"No. Access denied. This thing is hard-pressed to survive as it is."

She reached up her hand again, trying to grab the scarf. This time he pulled the scarf back up over his shoulder, and out of her reach. When she didn't get to grab it her face wrinkled up and she began to cry.

"See, now that is something you get from your mom" Chuck said. "Crying if you can't have the thing you want. Sorry kid, but you can spit up on something else."

He rolled over on his back and reached for the rattle on his nightstand. He then rolled back and shook it over the baby's head.

"Here Grace! Look here. Oooo, shiny object."

The baby stopped crying and her big eyes locked on the silver rattle Bart had bought at Tiffany's. She reached out to grab it and he let her have it. Grace had just begun to try and shove it into her mouth when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" Chuck said without looking up.

The door opened and Bart walked in.

"Hey" he said.

"I didn't know you were back" Chuck said without looking up.

"Got in about half an hour ago" Bart said, leaning against the doorpost. "How is the little one doing?"

"Aside from having gotten it into her head that rattles are edible she's doing quite alright" Chuck said. "Thankfully it's time to get her ready for bed soon. This whole thing with entertaining a baby starts to grate real fast. Especially since everyone I know is at a party instead."

"You should cherish these moments" Bart said.

Chuck snorted.

"I don't see what's so memorable about them. She does pretty much the same thing all day long."

"She grows up fast."

"So they tell me."

Bart walked over and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He reached over and took the rattle from Chuck, who glared at him, annoyed that his father was bothering him. Bart held the rattle up over the baby and shook it.

"I know it might seem like a burden right now to have her" Bart said. "But one day you'll find yourself looking back and-"

"Dad can we please skip that talk?" Chuck asked. "All your pseudo-parent stuff is starting to become an annoyance. I've gotten by all my life without you actually showing that you know what parenting is all about, so I'm sure I'll do fine with the baby without you doling out little pearls of wisdom from your parental Pez-dispenser."

"I'm just saying, take it from someone who knows."

"I suppose you do know" Chuck said, and looked at his daughter. "Know what it's like to have a baby you don't care that much about. Unlike you I have no good reason for it. I always thought you disliked me because of what happened to my mother, but now it looks like we're just not meant for fatherhood."

Bart looked up.

"Chuck what are you talking about?"

Chuck didn't answer. He took the rattle back from his father and focused on the infant. He hadn't meant to say anything to Bart about his own issues, it had just slipped out. He wished his father would just get up and leave, but for once Bart did not seem interested in the running off approach to parenting.

"Chuck I don't dislike you for what happened to your mother."

"Whatever. I don't want to talk about it. Forget I said anything."

"I'm not so sure this is something I should just forget that you said."

Chuck groaned.

"Dad, come on. I'm just tired and overwhelmed, that's all. I'm rambling."

"Chuck… I never blamed you for your mother's death."

Chuck looked away. This subject was a touch too emotional right now and the last thing he wanted was to show any hints of weakness in front of his father.

"It never occurred to me that you might think that I did" Bart continued. "It's my fault. I know I've had… trouble being close to you."

"Like I said, I get it now" Chuck mumbled, looking down at the baby who was blissfully unaware that she had been born into a family where the concept of a parent loving their child was practically foreign.

"You don't get it" Bart objected. "What you're feeling now is not the way it will be for the rest of your life. It's not uncommon to have trouble bonding with your baby, especially when you're the father and didn't carry the baby."

"Is that what you've been telling yourself?" Chuck asked. "All these years?"

It surprised Bart that it was an honest question. His son wasn't out to be snide or get a jab in, he was asking a genuine question.

"The reason why I've had trouble being close to you is not because we're lacking some parental gene" Bart said. "You will get the hang of it. You will love her. You're a teenager who had a child and you're having trouble grasping it, that's not being a bad parent that's just being human. As for me… The reasons why I've had so much trouble being close to you is not for any of the reasons you think. It's just hard because… every time I look at you… I see her."

"You miss her?" Chuck asked, looking over at a photograph of his mother he always kept on his nightstand.

"You have no idea. I've made some terrible mistakes in my life but I don't want to make another. I especially don't want your relationship with your daughter to be affected by me and my problems."

"Blair didn't die giving birth to her" Chuck pointed out.

Bart looked at him. It hadn't gone past him that Chuck hadn't said that Blair didn't matter to him the way Evelyn had mattered to Bart.

"Thank God for that" he said. "She's a strong girl. She's a good girl. I see the two of you together and it gives me faith that my granddaughter will be in good hands. But I don't really know how you feel about her. I don't know much about what's going on inside your mind at all. I want to know my son."

Chuck smiled faintly, feeling a bit better around his father for the first time in a long while. Bart returned the smile.

"The first time you called me '_Dada_' was the first time I felt really good since your mother died" he said.

"Wow" Chuck replied. Suddenly he didn't feel so good anymore. "I was… a late talker, yeah? So I was what, fourteen, fifteen months old at that point? Good to know it at least didn't take _years_ for you to find some small joy in parenting."

"Chuck please" Bart said. "I'm trying here."

Chuck shook his head and focused on the baby. He knew Bart meant well but with all the issues Chuck was having with being a father himself his father's comment had been anything but helpful. Who the hell wanted their father to have to _try_ to love you? But he didn't have the strength right now to deal with all of it so he chose to pretend to see that his father had meant that he was trying to make their relationship work. Which ironically was a lot closer to the real truth than to what Chuck believed to be true.

"I'm sorry" he told Bart. "Like I said, I'm overwhelmed. More than a little out of my league with all this."

"A lot of boys your age would have wanted the girl to get an abortion" Bart said.

"Yeah, I suggested it to Blair back in January."

"A lot of boys your age would leave the bulk of the responsibility to the baby's mother if the pregnancy was carried to term."

"As if you'd even let me."

Bart smiled.

"Someday Chuck, you might think that my insistence that you be an active part of her life is the greatest proof that I care about you."

"Maybe."

"It's getting late" Bart said, checking the time. "Time for your daughter to be fed and changed and put to bed. I'll go heat up her bottle."

"Have Lily do it" Chuck objected. "Or ask Larissa."

"Why can't I do it?" Bart wanted to know, raising an eyebrow.

"You're supposed to heat it to a certain temperature" Chuck began to explain.

"I'm sure I can figure it out. For the record, I have heated milk bottles before."

Chuck wanted to protest further but his father had already left the room. With a sigh Chuck turned his eyes to his daughter. He sat up on the bed and lifted her up into his embrace. She was a really good baby, he had to give her that. She had barely cried at all this evening, even though he always suspected that she missed Blair terribly when she was staying with her father.

"Parental love" he said with a snort. "Who needs it, huh Grace? I mean, really. People loving you for the sole reason that you've got their DNA in you? Loving you merely for carrying on their genetic code and not for anything even remotely related to your personality? In a way, parents who love their kids are just selfish egomaniacs. Wouldn't you rather that I grow to love you once I get to know your personality? What's so special about being loved just because you're an extension of the family tree?"

He made a grossed-out face at the spit bubbles the baby was actively producing and grabbed a Kleenex from a box on his nightstand to wipe it off. The baby stuck her fist in her mouth but still managed to produce a lot of spit.

"Yeah, your Mom thinks the whole saliva thing is so darn cute" Chuck remarked. "I'm actually a bit embarrassed for you. Come on, drooling is for dogs, and for old people. It's not some marvelous achievement. When you get older and start sassing people around and manipulating them into getting things your way, _then_ we can talk achievements."

Bart returned with the bottle, which Chuck eyed suspiciously.

"Heated to the exact right temperature" Bart said.

"Here, give it to me" Chuck said, taking a firm grip of the baby with one arm and reaching out his other hand.

"I have a better idea" Bart said. "Why don't you hand the girl to me and I'll feed her?"

"Dad, I appreciate the effort, but know when to stop."

"Give your old man a little credit" Bart said, placing the bottle on the dresser and then taking the baby from Chuck. "There's a good little baby, here we go…"

Skillfully he cradled the baby in his arms and grabbed the bottle. Grace put her hands on the bottle and immediately began to eat.

"Grandpa' was right, you were getting hungry" Bart said in a talk-to-children voice.

"She's always hungry. She's eaten more in her life than Blair has."

Chuck observed the scene for a moment, then he shook his head with bewilderment.

"Who knew you had such skill with this?"

Bart looked up at his son.

"You think I've never done this before? You had to be bottle fed from day one. You wouldn't believe the hours I've spent feeding you, heating up bottles, trying to get you to burp… It may have been almost sixteen years since then but it's like riding a bike. Probably a skill we learn to do as a second nature so that we can help our children feed _their_ children someday."

"Honestly it never occurred to me."

"You may have had a lot of au-pairs and nannies Chuck, but nannies did not raise you. I can even change a diaper if I have to."

"Wow. I think that officially makes you a better parent than me. "

Both remained quiet until Grace had finished eating. Chuck tried to imagine a younger Bart going through this procedure with him but for some reason the mental image refused to appear. It just didn't seem plausible.

"Here, why don't you take the bottle" Bart said. "Hand me something for my shoulder. I may care for Grace but I don't care to have spit-up on my favorite suit."

Chuck did as he was asked and then sat down on the edge of his bed, watching his father and daughter.

"I hope you were serious about the diaper change thing" he said. "She tends to need one after she's eaten."

"I said I _can_ change a diaper, I didn't say I _would_" Bart argued. "We'll have someone on staff take care of it."

"Ah, more Bass-style parenting."

To Chuck's surprise Bart actually laughed. Had he ever made his father laugh before?

"I like to see it as being skilled in the art of delegating" Bart said.

"I'm not so sure parenting is something that should be delegated."

Bart gave him a surprised, but not disapproving, look.

"You got me there" he admitted.

"You should either find someone to change her diaper or get ready to do it yourself" Chuck said, eager to move on to a different subject before Bart got too mushy. "My estimate is you have about five or ten minutes before things start to get smelly."

"I suppose I ought to change her diaper at some point" Bart said. "Do you think I can handle that Grace?"

He continued to talk to the baby while heading for the bathroom. Chuck grabbed the empty bottle and followed out to the kitchen with a frown on his face. He wasn't sure what was going on right now exactly or how to feel about it. It was nice that his father chose to open up a little and act supportive but experience told Chuck not to be too impressed. After all these years of being emotionally distant there was no reason to believe Bart would change his ways now. Chuck preferred to keep his wall up rather than getting hurt.

Once Grace's diaper had been changed Chuck took her back from Bart and removed her headband while he walked back to his room with her. Grace seemed tired and he might as well change her into her pajamas and put her down for the night. He thought Bart would be done with the parenting for the time being but Bart followed him to his room and stood leaning against the doorframe while Chuck somewhat clumsily took the tights and blouse off the baby and put the pajamas on.

He lifted Grace up and rocked her gently, feeling a bit awkward having an audience.

"I can take it from here, Dad" he said, hoping Bart would give him some privacy.

"I know you can" Bart said. "But I don't mind staying until she's gone to sleep."

"Which will hopefully be any minute now" Chuck said. "I expected her to be fussy but she seems quite tired."

As if to prove his point Grace yawned. Chuck grabbed a pacifier from a drawer and gave it to her, knowing by now that she fell asleep much easier if she had a pacifier in her mouth. Finally Bart seemed to pick up on the fact that Chuck wanted a few moments alone and he walked off without a word. Chuck carefully caressed Grace's head and hummed a tune he hoped would make her go to sleep. He never sang her lullabies. Chuck Bass did not do lullabies. He wasn't even sure he _knew_ any lullabies.

He walked around with her for a while, gently humming and feeling like an idiot over the whole scene, wondering how in the world he had gone from being the kid on Manhattan who made the absolute most out of his teens to walking around trying to hum a baby to sleep while everyone at school was at a party.

Finally Grace fell asleep. He carefully put her down in the crib and pulled a blanket over her to keep her warm, making sure there were no stuffed animals left in the bed since Blair had told him that babies that slept with stuffed animals were more likely to die from SIDS for whatever reason. He then placed the baby monitor next to the crib even though he didn't have any plans other than watching a movie on his laptop.

"Is she asleep now?" Bart's voice asked from the doorway.

Chuck looked up, startled.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"Listen, Chuck" Bart said. "It's still early. You can make it to the party if you want to."

"The party?" Chuck echoed, giving Bart a surprised look. "I've got the baby tonight. I can't go to the party."

"Your daughter is asleep" Bart pointed out. "If she wakes up again Lily and I will be glad to take care of her. Go have fun with your friends."

"You're the one who keeps saying I need to grow out of my partying habits" Chuck pointed out warily.

"I know what I've said" Bart said. "You're doing a good job with her. You're still a teenager. If you want to go to Blair's party then there's nothing wrong with that."

Chuck looked down at the sleeping baby and thought it over. It did sound really tempting. He wanted to go and celebrate with Blair and have fun tonight. On the other hand, he had a feeling that if he showed up to the party it might upset Blair. She might worry who was looking after the baby, or get mad at him for not cherishing an evening with their daughter. As much as he wanted to go, he didn't want to bring anything negative to Blair's night. In addition he had a feeling that this suggestion from his father came from some bout of guilt after the conversation they had had earlier in the night. He would rather his father suggested he should go have fun because he thought it was okay to do so than to suggest it because he was currently feeling guilty over past mistakes.

"Thanks Dad…" he said. "But really, I think I'll stay here. I think it's in the job description to stick around and take care of the child when you only have her for a few nights here and there. I think I'm just going to grab a book, or perhaps even go to bed early."

Bart smiled proudly and placed a hand on his shoulder. He gave it a squeeze and then walked out of the room. Chuck watched him go and sighed deeply. He really did want to go see Blair tonight. This was an anniversary of sorts for the two of them and even though it probably mattered little to her it mattered a lot to him. But he knew he made the right choice staying home.

He looked down at the infant again and got an idea. Grabbing his phone he took a picture of Grace and sent it to Blair, along with a message.

"_Hi Mommy! Hope you're enjoying your party. I'm just chilling with Dad and Grandpa. Happy birthday. XO XO – Grace._"

Once the message was sent he looked down at the baby with a smirk.

"I guess it's a happy birthday of sorts to you too" he commented. "You might have been conceived a year ago today. Or a year ago yesterday. We'll never know for sure, but I can promise you, it was memorable."

With a smile on his lips he got up on his bed and grabbed his iPod, leaning back and playing music on low volume. He thought back on the night he had shared with Blair a year ago and the night that had proceeded it. Those two nights would always be among his favorite memories. So much had happened since then and so many things had changed but he couldn't bring himself to regret that those nights had happened. And he had a feeling that Blair couldn't either, even for reasons that had nothing to do with Grace.

* * *

Blair's phone beeped and she smiled. Yet another birthday wish no doubt. She would never grow tired of being the center of birthday attention. Especially this year when she felt positively starved for any attention that didn't involve the words '_mother_' or '_baby_'.

"Another birthday text?" Serena concluded, taking a large sip of champagne. "Who's it from this time?"

Blair's smile widened when she read the text, and she felt herself welling up.

"It's from my baby."

"I don't think she can write a text just yet" Serena said.

"Look."

She held the phone up to Serena, who looked at it and smiled.

"Aw, that's adorable. I wish you and Chuck would just stop all this tiptoeing around and just admit that you like each other."

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Excuse me" Blair said. "He sent a text from our daughter. What does that have to do with tiptoeing around anything? Or liking each other?"

"Come on Blair, don't tell me you don't wish he was here right now."

"If he were here then where would the baby be?"

"That's the lamest excuse ever" Serena snorted. "She would probably be with Bart and my mom."

"Well she's supposed to be with her father."

"Right, you keep telling yourself that" Serena said while sipping some more champagne.

"Excuse me, weren't you the one who said Chuck and I would be terrible together?"

"No. I was the one who said the idea of the two of you trying to make a love affair work would be dangerous for everyone around you" Serena countered. "The two of you going around refusing to admit feelings falls under that category and I'd rather have you two make up your minds either way."

"There are no feelings to admit" Blair denied. "Chuck is merely the man who fathered my child."

"And the man you want fathering all your future children" Serena said.

"I may have had some thoughts along those lines" Blair admitted. "But only because I like the word 'sibling' better when it's not preceded by the word 'half'."

"Mm-hmm" Serena mumbled into her flute, clearly not convinced.

"Let's be realistic here S, I don't plan on having any further children for at least ten years" Blair said. "I'm just starting to get my figure back. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize that for a good long while."

"Well I'm not saying you should have more children with Chuck" Serena said. "Especially not right now. But if you do have feelings for him-"

"I do" Blair said. "Have feelings for him. They're called contempt and annoyance."

"If you do have _actual_ feelings for him then you should just tell him that."

"Excellent advice."

Serena raised her eyebrows.

"So you're going to?"

"Going to what?"

"Tell him you've got romantic feelings for him?"

"Why would I do that? I have none."

"This conversation is way too confusing when I've had alcohol" Serena sighed.

"Don't worry your head about it S" Blair said with a smile and patted Serena on the shoulder. "In fact let's forget all about your stepbrother and have some actual fun tonight."

Serena shrugged and followed Blair to get some refreshments. Blair sincerely hoped she would leave the subject alone for the rest of the evening.

"Blair!" Nate's voice said behind her and she turned around.

"Nate" she said with a smile.

"Happy birthday."

Blair smiled slightly, getting a funny feeling in her stomach. Nate was smiling at her in that charming way that had always made her heart skip a beat but right now she wasn't feeling anything. It was weird. When had she ever looked at Nate while he smiled like that and genuinely felt nothing romantic at all?

"Enjoying my party?" she asked.

"It's great" he said.

She almost commented on how he must be finding it much better than her party last year, the one he never even bothered attending, but decided to keep that comment to herself. They weren't fighting, they were pretty much just nothing right now and she didn't want to make the situation worse.

"So how does it feel to be eighteen?"

She couldn't help rolling her eyes at the question.

"Geez Nate, I've been asked that question about ten times today but you're the first one to ask who's been under forty."

He chuckled.

"Sorry. You look great."

"Thank you."

"I… got you something."

"Thank you. You can give it to Dorota, she'll put it with the other presents."

"Oh" he said, looking a bit surprised.

"Or, you could give it to me now" she said, realizing he wanted to hand it over in person.

"Great" Nate smiled and held out his arm.

She took it tentatively and followed him somewhere more secluded. She couldn't help but note the great irony of the situation. Last year all she had wanted was for Nate to be at her birthday party and to wish her a happy birthday but he hadn't shown up. Instead Chuck had been the one to bring her a present and the one she spent the night with. Now this year she wanted to celebrate with Chuck but he wasn't going to show up and instead Nate was there with a gift to boot. Minus the fact that there was no way she would sleep with Nate tonight it was basically the exact same scenario only with the two boys' roles switched.

With one minor difference. Last year she had been drawn to Chuck even though she wanted Nate and it had actually been quite nice to seek comfort in Chuck's arms even before they had sex. Now she wasn't drawn to Nate at all and he wouldn't be able to step in the way his former best friend had done a year prior. Things really had changed. She had changed. The only real question was if Chuck had changed enough too.

* * *

"The party went really well last night, Dorota" Blair said with a smile the following morning. "Proving I only get better with age."

"Best party all semester" Dorota said.

"Yes" Blair nodded. "All in all it was a great birthday. It was unbelievably nice to just be a teenager for an evening, and not a teenage _mom_." She made a face. "Even if the place was just a bit too quiet after the guests had gone home."

"When is Mister Chuck bringing baby back?"

Blair checked her wristwatch.

"He should be here soon. I can't wait to tell Grace all about last night. We should give her a bath Dorota, to make sure she's clean and pristine for when Cyrus meets her. I want her to make the best impression possible." She walked out of her room and headed for the staircase with Dorota in tow. "And let's dress her up in something really pretty. The sailor outfit is darling, and she's going to outgrow it soon, so let's go with that."

Dorota nodded.

"And maybe navy blue headband?" she suggested.

"Yes, that sounds perfect" Blair agreed, walking down the stairs.

She stopped dead in her tracks before she had gotten all the way down. Sitting on the couch in the sitting area was her father, sporting a very pleased smile. Blair's jaw dropped and it took her a second to really react.

"Daddy?"

"Happy birthday, Blair bear" Harold Waldorf said, rising from the couch.

Snapping out of her shock Blair hurried down the final steps and ran over to her father. She threw her arms around him and felt tears of joy falling down her cheeks. She hadn't seen her father in almost a year.

"I can't believe you're here!" she said.

"You didn't think I would miss your big birthday, did you?" Harold said. "Or the chance to finally see my granddaughter."

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would have cancelled all my plans tonight with Mom and…" She trailed off before mentioning Cyrus' name and instead hugged her father more tightly.

"Your mother of course knew I was coming" Harold said. "You'll have dinner with her and Cyrus this weekend. Tonight you're going out with me. What do you think? Does that sound good?"

"It sounds perfect" Blair said with a happy laugh.

The elevator rang and Blair pulled away from the embrace to see who the new visitor was. As she had expected Chuck walked in with Grace in a carry-cot and her large bag flung over his right shoulder.

"Here's the little angel now" Blair smiled.

Chuck looked rather startled at seeing Blair's father there. He put first the bag down on the floor and then the carry-cot, before bending down to lift Grace up into his arms.

"Hello sir" he said politely but awkwardly.

"Charles" Harold nodded.

Chuck remained stone faced, holding the baby close to him. He had not been prepared for seeing Grace's grandfather. It wouldn't surprise him in the least if he currently ranked at the very bottom of Harold Waldorf's list of favorite people. Fathers usually disliked boys who got their teenage daughters pregnant.

Harold walked over to him with Blair following two steps behind. He stopped in front of Chuck and Chuck absentmindedly thought to turn the baby around so that she was facing Harold. The older man's serious face turned into a wide smile and he reached out his arms to take the baby from Chuck.

"There she is" he said with a grin. "My little granddaughter."

"Dad I want you to meet Grace" Blair said proudly.

"Grace" Harold said, resting the baby against his chest and shoulder in a move that implied he had done it several times before. "How great to finally meet you. You are so much prettier in real life than in your photos."

"She's perfect, isn't she?" Blair said, stroking the back of the baby's head.

"Oh definitely."

"How was last night?" Chuck asked, unsure of whether he should stay for a minute and make polite small talk or if he should make himself scarce.

"It was fabulous" Blair said. "How was your night last night?"

"Uneventful. Grace spoke a few words, walked around the penthouse, wrote her name… Well, the R was backwards so maybe that doesn't count."

Blair chuckled and Chuck managed half a smile. Harold gently bounced the little baby up and down.

"You're such a gorgeous little angel" he said to his granddaughter.

"The sweetest baby in the world" Blair cooed. "Do you like being with Grandpa'? Do you like that Grace?"

"We need to take pictures" Harold said. "Or Roman is not going to forgive me."

"Dorota?" Blair said.

Dorota came up to them with her camera in her hand and began to take picture after picture. Chuck backed away to make sure to keep out of shot.

"Blair I'll see you at school" he said and pressed the elevator button.

"You're leaving?" she asked, looking up from the photo session.

"Your father is here. You should spend as much time with him as you can. We'll see each other again in a few days."

"But what about tomorrow?" she asked. "You're not coming over to see Grace?"

"I think she can get by for a day without me. You should make the most of your father's visit. You and the baby both."

"Don't be silly, we can set aside some time for you to be with her."

"No it's okay, don't worry about it. I had her all night last night anyway, so…"

The elevator arrived and he stepped on it. Blair felt a touch of dismay, but then decided to shrug it off. Her father had arrived from France just to celebrate her birthday. And she would see Chuck again in a few days anyway. She had to be able to go a few days without seeing him, otherwise she was in serious trouble.

"I'm so glad you're here, Daddy" she said and gave her father a kiss on the cheek. "This is the best birthday present I could have ever asked for."

"You say that now" Harold said. "Wait till you see what gifts I brought you." He nuzzled the baby. "And for you, little princess. Grand-père brought you some gifts from France."

"Gifts from France" Blair said to the baby with an 'ooh and aah' voice. "Those are the best kinds of gifts!"

"Why don't you take Grace and I'll take my bag and we can go upstairs to your room and see what's inside the bag" Harold suggested.

Blair nodded and took the baby. They walked upstairs, leaving it up to Dorota to get Grace's bag and unpack it.

"I still can't believe you're here" Blair said. "I wish you could have come when she was born. You should have seen her, so tiny and absolutely perfect."

"Much like you were when you were born, I'm sure" Harold smiled. "I wish I could have been here too Blair bear, but you know how things get. This visit is long overdue."

"Will you be staying long?"

"Just for a few days, I'm afraid. But I'm hoping I will be able to convince you to bring Grace to France this holiday season."

"As much as I would love to, it's her first Christmas" Blair said. "Chuck would want to be part of that, and I highly doubt Bart Bass is going to let me take his granddaughter to a different continent for the holidays."

"How is Charles doing as a parent?" Harold asked as they walked inside Blair's room.

"He's good with her" Blair said. "He usually comes over after school and spends several hours with her. And every once in a while Grace spends the night with him."

"So he's being responsible?"

"Of course" Blair said, slightly uncomfortable with the question.

"I've never had a real problem with Charles even though I've been well aware of his reputation" Harold said. "He always seemed to be well-behaved when I saw him with Nate. But I would be lying if I said I haven't been worrying that you've had a baby with him of all people. While I don't necessarily think he's a bad seed he's not a person I would associate with responsibility."

"He is being responsible" Blair said defensively. "You can ask Mother. Or Dorota."

"Alright, I believe you" Harold said, noticing that it was a touchy subject.

"And Gracie loves him" Blair continued with a smile. "Really, the problem is more with Bart than with Chuck."

"Why? What has Bart Bass done?"

"Tried to take over our lives" Blair sighed. "He has opinions about everything. Her name, her toys, how long I should breastfeed."

"Basses have never been known to respect boundaries" Harold commented.

"He means well" Blair sighed. "He's just too accustomed to being in control."

"Don't let him push you around."

"I can handle Bart Bass" Blair said. "I just wish I didn't have to."

"Maybe I should have a little talk with him."

"You don't have to do that Dad" Blair said. "It will be fine. I'm sure he'll calm down sooner or later. After all, it's not like he held out for long with Chuck before finding other interests."

Harold made a concerned face but then decided to leave well enough alone. For now. He could get more details from Eleanor later on what Bass was really up to. Right now he just wanted to spend some time with his daughter and grandchild.

"Why don't you put Grace in her carry-cot for a moment and take a seat on the bed?" he said with a smile. "And we'll see what presents I brought."

Blair nodded happily and did what her father asked. Right now she didn't care too much about Bart Bass or anything else that was bothering her in her life. She had missed her father very much and he was only in town for a few days so she intended to make the most of it. Both for herself and for the baby.

* * *

That's all for now. Thanks for reading, please review =)


	32. Chapter 32

For once I managed a fairly long update =) Which I attribute to having an uncharacteristically slow week at work. Too bad it isn't going to last which means updates will probably be less frequent for a while. Keep your fingers crossed with me that I won't end up being as busy as I'm fearing.

Anyway this chapter also borrows from the show though not all that much. I moved around a few things from the show timeline and stuck them in here instead but it should work anyway.

Oh, and I also did an homage-of-sorts to the first show I wrote fanfiction for, "_How I Met Your Mother_", by borrowing a line from the show. Whoever can guess which line it was gets a cookie! Well, not really, even though getting someone's address and sending them a box of Swedish cookies would be kind of fun in a weird sort of way. But you win an imaginary cookie in the flavor of your choice!

* * *

Blair and Serena sat out at the courtyard at school, working their way through their fruit cups. Serena was talking about some art gallery thing which had something to do with Dan Humphrey's father and therefore didn't interest Blair in the slightest. She was merely pretending to listen, and had a feeling Serena knew it and didn't care since she seemed relieved to not be subjected to Blair's usual snide remarks about anything Brooklyn.

Blair's attention was focused on two people on the other end of the courtyard. Chuck was casually leaning against the wall, talking to some bimbo freshman who was so into him it was downright pathetic. Twirling a strain of your hair around your finger? Giggling coquettishly? It was enough to make one sick.

"I know you're not listening but it would be nice if you could at least pretend" Serena said with a sigh.

"Huh?" Blair said, tearing her eyes away from the duo. "What?"

Serena looked in the direction Blair had been looking. Then she turned to Blair with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, so I see we're spying on our baby daddy now."

"I'm not spying!" Blair denied. "Especially not at Chuck. I hate Chuck. He got me knocked up, for crying out loud."

"Yeah, you're not going to convince me you hate him. Especially not when you're eyeing him chatting up some girl. And with eyes that seem to have a shade of green, I might add."

"Why would I care what eye color Chuck's conquests have?"

"I meant yours."

"I don't care if Chuck dates" Blair insisted. "But I care who he dates. The lamest, easiest freshman at school? My baby deserves better prospective stepmothers than that."

"Somehow I doubt we're watching him talk to the future Mrs. Chuck Bass" Serena said with an entertained smirk.

"Hopefully" Blair snorted.

"Blair why can't you just admit that you care about him?"

"Nothing could be further from the truth!"

"Well if it helps I don't think he's flirting with that girl for any other reason than to get sex" Serena shrugged.

"How does that help? He's a parent now. He should display some shred of responsibility. By parading around like that at school, flirting up girls at all times, he's sending the message that me having his daughter doesn't really mean anything."

"It's Chuck, how long do you think he could go without sex?" Serena said and put the last piece of pineapple in her mouth.

"He should get it somewhere else. Not at school. It's embarrassing."

Serena had a strong feeling Blair wouldn't mind it if she were the one providing Chuck with sex, but the idea wasn't appealing so she chose not to comment. She had suspected for a while that Blair had a crush on Chuck, or deeper feelings even, but until Blair could be upfront about it Serena didn't support her sleeping with Chuck. It would only create a mess, and given their track-record, possibly another baby.

Blair looked over at Chuck again just as he took his eyes off the girl he was speaking with. Their eyes met and Chuck flashed her a satisfied smile. Clearly he was aware that she was looking at him and he enjoyed every minute of it.

"Look at him, all smug" Blair said to Serena.

"He's got your attention" Serena commented.

"He's definitely on the receiving end of all my annoyance."

"In a way I'm glad I hang out with you guys" Serena said, chewing on a piece of pear. "All my own drama seems so small compared to yours. You guys don't even seem to know how you feel about each other, which means the rest of us are hopeless to figure it out."

"We feel indifference. And annoyance."

"Right, that's why you can't seem to take your eyes off one another, except that you take turns being the one who does the staring."

"As usual you're not making any sense."

"If you like him then why don't you just admit it? Likewise, if he likes you why can't _he_ just admit it? It's not like you don't have a good reason to take the leap."

"Chuck and I would never work" Blair said hesitantly.

"Speaking of things that _will_ work" Serena said. "Dan and I-"

"Do not belong in the same sentence as: '_Things that will work_'" Blair cut her off.

"No, Dan and I have decided that we're going to be friends now."

Blair frowned.

"Why?"

"Because we like each other and we want what's best for each other and because that's what friends do, so it seemed logical."

"Except there's nothing logical about wanting to be friends with Dan Humphrey."

"At least I'm not the one in complete denial about my feelings for someone" Serena retorted.

Blair made a face and glanced over at Chuck again. He looked at her, smirked and placed a hand on the bimbo's shoulder, leading her away somewhere more private. Filled with frustration Blair stabbed the last pieces of fruit in her cup and shoved them in her mouth. Why did her eyes necessarily have to be drawing to him all the time? Didn't she have more important things to worry about? Things had been so much easier back when Chuck Bass had merely been one of her best friends.

"Oh by the way, did Chuck tell you about the house warming party Mom and Bart insisted on throwing tomorrow?" Serena asked.

"I don't know. I don't bother to listen when he talks" Blair lied.

"Right, because you're so distracted looking at him with goo-goo eyes" Serena teased.

"Stop it S, or do you want to see the fruit come back up?"

"Okay, fine, I'll stop" Serena giggled. "We're having a house warming party tomorrow and Bart talked this morning about how he hoped you would be there with the baby."

"Grace is too young for parties. And who throws a house warming party six months after moving in?"

"Bart and my mother when it suits their purposes."

"Tell them Grace won't be attending on account of being too wee."

"Bart told Chuck to make sure you and the baby made an appearance. Chuck seems to think this is all about Bart courting some businessmen from the Midwest. Either way I think you should definitely stop by with Grace. You need to get out more."

"Excuse me S, I _am_ out. And large crowds are not suitable for my infant."

"B why don't you dress Grace up in that flowery dress your father brought? She'll look adorable and Bart can act like the proud grandfather showing her off to everybody. Plus it will give you a great excuse to spend a few hours with Chuck. Bart will be wanting you guys to put up a unified front."

"Fine, tell Bart we'll be there" Blair said. "But only for an hour. And the Midwesterners can't touch her!"

Serena nodded and laughed a little. Blair shot her half a smile. She didn't really feel up for going to a house warming party just to show off the baby, but she knew better than to rock the boat when it came to Bart Bass. Better to give in with the minor things and save the battle for the bigger.

* * *

Blair stepped off the elevator with Grace in her arms, wondering how the baby would react to being in a crowded room. She had only taken two steps into the penthouse when Chuck materialized and gave her a smile which seemed annoyingly smug.

"Well hello there" he said. "Interesting to see that when Bart Bass calls Blair Waldorf comes running."

"Nice to see you're in such a friendly mood" she retorted.

"And how is the diaper dynamo this evening?" he asked, nodding to the baby.

"Only a few months old and already has more class than you" Blair smirked.

Chuck smiled and Blair returned the favor. While she was a bit annoyed with him for having flirted so openly with that girl the previous day she couldn't help but smile back at him. Especially when he looked at her with those eyes.

"Let's get this over with" he then said. "I'm no more fond of putting the kid on display than you are."

He nodded towards Bart, who was talking to Lily and a group of people Blair assumed were the Midwesterners. Chuck walked ahead of Blair, making sure she didn't have to elbow her way through the room, and then arranged his face in a polite yet slightly disinterested smile once they reached the adults.

"Excuse me sir" he said to his father. "We have two more guests that have arrived."

Bart tore his eyes from the people he was trying to win over and smiled when he saw Blair and the baby. Lily's face also lit up with a smile and she began to coo over the infant.

"Blair, how wonderful to see you" Bart said. "You look lovely tonight."

"Oh, and the baby is adorable" Lily exclaimed.

Blair had dressed her up in the flowery dress Harold had brought from Paris and then put a headband on the baby's head. She had done her best to comb Grace's hair but her locks were a touch too unruly. Still the baby did look adorable.

"Gentlemen, I would like you to meet my granddaughter Grace" Bart said. "And this is her lovely mother, Blair Waldorf."

"Waldorf?" one of the executives said with a disapproving tone.

Blair and Chuck shared a look. They had both been wondering why Bart insisted that the baby his son had had out of wedlock make an appearance at a party mainly designed to court a bunch of conservative business executives.

"Yes, we feel it would be better if the kids hold off on getting married until they are a little older" Bart said and handed his champagne flute to Lily to take the baby. "They're both so young. Where's the rush?"

"If they're old enough to have children then they're old enough to get married" another one of the executives said.

"The important thing is that they are being responsible" Bart said. "Have you ever seen a healthier looking baby?"

Blair and Chuck continued to stand there feeling very uncomfortable, while Bart talked to the executives and showcased the infant. After a while Grace began to fidget and Bart handed her back to her mother.

"I think all this attention is getting to be a bit much" Lily said. "Blair why don't I take you and the baby upstairs so you can have some peace and calm?"

She took Blair by the arm and headed for the stairs. Chuck followed, having no desire to keep hanging out with his father and having a strong feeling Bart wanted him to be stuck like glue to Blair while she was there, to give the impression that they were an item.

"I really don't get it" Blair said to Lily as they reached the upper floor. "These people clearly frown upon premarital sex, especially conducted by teenagers, especially when the end result is a baby. Why would Bart want me here at all?"

"Well the fact that Charles has an infant child is not exactly a well-kept secret" Lily said, opening the door to hers and Bart's bedroom. "Bart and I both figured it would be better to address it than to try and hide it."

"But why stand there and practically declare our betrothal?" Chuck asked. "Sooner or later they will figure out that Blair and I aren't tying the knot." Then he sniggered. "Then again, by the time they figure that out my father will probably have gotten what he wanted from them anyway so it no longer matters."

"I should go back downstairs" Lily said, smiling at him and giving him a look as she avoided his question, and left the room.

"And I should probably leave" Blair said, sitting down on the bed with Grace. "I showed up, I let Bart play opening-to-'_the Lion King_' with my daughter… I think I've done my part for the evening."

"Oh don't be so sure" Chuck said. "Bart probably expects you to come back downstairs and cling to my arm with a placid smile like a good little trophy-wife to be."

"Don't be ridiculous" Blair snorted, although tempted by the thought of spending an hour or so clinging to Chuck with a good excuse.

"Basses never joke about public appearance."

"Then answer me this, oh groom-to-be, where is the baby during all of this?"

"Either being passed around like a holy artifact at a church meeting or a beer bong at a college party, or subjected to Serena's attempts at being an aunt."

"Tempting, but I'll pass."

"We both know you're dying to spend some more time with me. Why fight it?"

"Excuse me Bass, I would rather go to a fashion show dressed in clothes from H&M."

"As always I think you protest too much."

Blair busied herself with Grace, placing her on the bed and making sure she was lying comfortably, to avoid having to look at him. This was so confusing. And she hated letting him be right.

"We both know Bass that it is you who longs to spend time with me and not the other way around" she said, trying to take the focus off herself.

"Do we? I had no idea."

"Not just you and me. Everyone knows."

"Nice try" he scoffed. "You were the one who kept suggesting we have sex when you were pregnant."

"You were the one who kept sleeping with the pregnant girl even though you surely had better offers."

"Simply a matter of convenience. I had already done as much damage as I could with you so it was risk-free."

"A sea turtle is a better parent than you" Blair snarled. "Grace is not damage."

"You're telling me you were _trying_ to get pregnant when we first slept together? If so then I think I have grounds for a nice lawsuit."

"Grace is a blessing" Blair snarled. "I may not have wanted to get pregnant but now I wouldn't have had it any other way."

"How sweet."

She just scoffed and turned all her attention to the baby.

"Come on, just admit it" Chuck said. "You'd like nothing more than to-"

"Enough" Blair snapped. "I am tired of your comments and teases. I am not the one who has an itch I need to scratch. You're the one who's got butterflies for me and you have since this thing first started between us. I was butterfly-free then and I am now. Furthermore I am done having sex outside of relationships because clearly things just get complicated. And I'm never going to date you. So the chances of you and I ending up in bed together again are about zero. And that's generously speaking."

"Is that so?" Chuck said, getting annoyed.

"It most certainly is. Why would I start something with you again? How could I possibly have feelings for you? Just because you got me pregnant that doesn't mean you're not still Chuck Bass, sleaze extraordinaire. I am way too good for you."

Chuck sniggered.

"Waldorf you will be begging me for a date long before I ever ask you to go on one. In fact, you will be begging me for sex long before I beg you for a date."

"Oh really? I think it's the other way around actually. How many hours have you spent lounging around at my place when Grace has been fast asleep, or even out with my mother? You want me. Far more than I will ever want you."

"Lack of sleep has obviously made you delusional."

Blair raised an eyebrow and gave him a challenging look. She wasn't sure why they were suddenly arguing about this but she was tired of being confused and tired of having distractions from the baby.

"Why should I give you a chance at playing boyfriend?" she asked. "You'd be terrible at it. You run hot and cold all the time and you're hardly what one would call dependable."

"Really?" he said, angry now. "Because I think supporting you while you were pregnant with a baby we didn't even know was mine qualifies as dependable."

"I think getting me pregnant and then calling me damaged goods nobody would want qualifies as not being dependable."

"Perhaps not. But I didn't run away now did I?"

"If it had been anyone else but me you would have" Blair guessed. "So don't try to deny that you feel something for me."

"Maybe I still have an attraction to you" Chuck said. "But romantic feelings?"

He sniggered. Blair smirked and slowly rose from the bed, walking over to him. He frowned, wondering what she was up to now. She stopped very close to him, ran her hand up his side and then through his bangs and let her lips hover over his for a second without actually kissing. She then pulled back with a wider smirk.

"The look on your face right now?" she said. "You've never looked at any of your dirty conquests like that."

Chuck swallowed. What was with everyone claiming to know he never looked at other women that way? He needed to find a snarky reply, and fast.

"My, my Waldorf…" he breathed. "You put a camera in my bedroom to study what faces I make when I'm with other women? You must be either very desperate or very jealous. Probably both."

"It's hard to be jealous of the women who sleep with you seeing as pretty much every woman gets the… honor."

"You wish there were no other women. That makes you jealous."

"Why would I be jealous? I can have you whenever I want."

He scoffed.

"Seriously? You believe that? Thinking highly of ourselves, I hear."

"We both know it's true. But like I said, I will never give myself to you again unless I were _dating_ you which… will never happen."

"You're delusional" Chuck said. "If _I_ wanted to sleep with _you_ Grace would be in the arms of Serena or Lily downstairs and you would be naked on the bed in a matter of minutes."

Blair laughed.

"You try telling yourself that."

"You think I don't see the way you look at me and how it's changed from when we were _just_ friends?"

"Despite whatever vestigial attraction my body may feel for you, my brain knows better" Blair smiled. "Dating you is out of the question. Sleeping with you only produces babies and one is quite enough for now. So I guess you're out of luck."

"You'll be begging me to take you to bed long before I even contemplate _asking_ you" Chuck said, slowly walking closer to her.

"I don't beg."

"I seem to recall differently."

"I seem to recall you were never coherent enough to recall anything afterward."

He sniggered. She challengingly raised an eyebrow at him. He stepped as close as he could get and reached up his hands, running them up and down hers but barely even touching her as he did so. She couldn't stop herself from responding and had to look away from the intensity in his eyes. He leaned in and kissed her neck. She felt herself shiver and wondered if he was about to call her bluff and if she even minded.

Then Grace began to cry and Blair came to her senses. Chuck leaned back and looked into her eyes with a victorious smirk.

"Like I said" he murmured. "You will come begging to me long before I chase after you."

"In your dreams" she replied huskily.

"Yes" he agreed. "And soon in real life."

"I have to tend to the baby" Blair replied.

She managed to tear her eyes away from him and walked over to the bed. Grace's pacifier had fallen out of her mouth and as soon as she got it back her crying stopped. At the back of her mind Blair wondered if they had just been about to make out or even have sex with the baby five feet away but she was too confused right now to make any sense of it. She lifted Grace up and turned to face Chuck, who was still sporting a content smirk.

"Grace and I should get going" she said.

"Thanks for stopping by."

She almost laughed at the comment but the situation wasn't really comical. She walked towards the door but his voice stopped her before she could leave.

"We'll see who breaks first" he said. "You asking for sex or me asking for a date. Either way I think I win."

Without another word she walked out of the room, her baby in a firm grip, eager to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. She needed to get back home and start plotting. There was a dare in place now, who could win the other over and who would be the first to fall? Chuck would be a hard one to break but she was damn sure going to try. Once she had won and he was at her mercy, then she could make a real decision on whether or not to date him.

* * *

When Serena stopped by the next day she was surprised to find Blair scrupulously studying a vast collection of lingerie spread out on her bed.

"B?" Serena said hesitantly, hoping that this wasn't a weight related freak-out. "Mind telling me what this is all about?"

"I need to seduce Chuck" Blair said, clearly in a bad mood. "To prove a point."

"Oh dear God" Serena groaned. "If you don't need me I'm going to go and stock up the nearest bomb shelter for when World War Three hits."

"And people say I'm dramatic."

"Might I ask what point you're trying to prove?"

"That he wants me far more than I want him."

"I pity you Grace" Serena sighed, glancing down at the sleeping baby in her crib. "You never really stood a chance at becoming normal and well-adjusted."

"This thing could not have come at a worse time though" Blair frowned, not listening to Serena's comment. "I still carry some baby weight. It would be much easier to arouse him if I were slimmer."

"Guys like curves, not bones."

"The ideal would have been if Grace was around six months old or so" Blair continued. "Then I would have lost all extra weight except for in my bra, and my breasts wouldn't be looking so gross anymore."

"He's a guy" Serena sighed. "He doesn't care what they look like, he cares that they exist. Blair could you please stop for a second and listen to me?"

Blair turned towards Serena, holding up two sets of lingerie.

"Okay, the red La Perla two-piece or the cream corset?"

"Blair."

"The corset will suck in my figure but once it's off I might get a less than favorable reaction. With the two-piece at least I'm not hiding anything." She frowned. "What am I saying? Nothing's going to come off. Corset it is."

"_Blair_!"

"What S?" Blair asked with an exasperated sigh.

"What is going on? Talk to me."

"Nothing's going on" Blair insisted. "It's just a normal, healthy game of who holds more power over whom."

"That's not healthy, or normal" Serena said. "And why does it involve seduction?"

"Chuck thinks I want him more than he wants me" Blair said. "I need to prove to him that he is of no interest to me while I'm his one great desire. He doesn't seem to realize that on his own because he's an idiot."

"Or he's actually the saner of the pair of you" Serena argued. "How is any good supposed to come from this and how is it even _relevant_?"

"I'm surprised that you of all people need to be reminded of the relevance of sexual desire" Blair snorted. "I can't let Chuck have the upper hand on me. Above all I can't let him think I want him."

"What does it matter if he thinks that if it's not true? And if it is true then why not just try and have some form of normal relationship with him for a change?"

"Having a relationship with Chuck Bass is on my To-Do list" Blair claimed. "Right after finding Atlantis and inventing a time machine. I prioritize in order of likelihood of success, feeling I should start with something easy."

Serena rolled her eyes.

"This is a horrible idea Blair. Someone is going to be hurt and it might not be your or Chuck, it might be your baby."

"Grace is not aware that toothpaste exists, she's not going to pick up on the things her father and I do when she's not around."

"No but you and Chuck destroying whatever functioning relationship you currently have will affect her."

"Nothing's going to be destroyed. Except Chuck's ludicrous dreams of bedding me."

"Seriously Blair you shouldn't go through with this."

"Okay you're not being helpful at all" Blair sighed. "I'm going with the corset."

Serena groaned and flopped down in the armchair while giving some serious consideration to moving to another continent to get away from all this crazy. Blair studied the corset carefully and plotted her method of attack.

* * *

Chuck felt a touch of excitement when he stepped off the elevator and walked inside the Waldorf penthouse for his daily visit. He hadn't seen Blair since they had laid down the gauntlet and he was dying to know what tricks she would use on him. He had no doubt whatsoever that before long he would be enjoying the luxury of her bedtime company again, though certainly not through asking her out for a date, and watching her employ a series of schemes, tricks and set-ups to get him into bed was pretty much just drawn-out foreplay. The best part was that whatever tricks she conjured up to seduce him would only work in his favor since he knew she felt the chemistry too and would end up weakening her own resolve with every effort to weaken his. He had every confidence that he would be the one to hold out the longest. For one he had had sex much more recently than she had, for another he had much more experience than her with holding back on his desires. He had desired her for over a year now and she had only desired him for a few months. A fact that was a bit hurtful, but he could get over it.

He walked up the stairs to her bedroom, barely able to conceal a smile. Would she be wearing something innocently sexy? Playing with her hair to expose the nape of her neck? Putting on airs like she had completely forgotten they had challenged each other to begin with in order to try and push him to chase after her?

He opened the door to her room and took one step inside before stopping in his tracks with a nonplussed look on his face. Blair was sitting by her writing desk writing a report on her laptop, dressed in her usual style with no attempts at making it look sexier. She looked up from her computer and gave him a casual hello. He had expected just about anything from her except this. Her not doing anything at all.

Frowning he took another step inside and closed the door. Then he leaned back against it, crossing his arms over his chest. Time to find out what this strategy entailed so that he could counter it.

"Being a busy bee?" he said.

"Unfortunately" Blair said. "I'm afraid I'm going to fall behind in history unless I get this done real fast and in a spectacular fashion. Who even cares about the industrial revolution? All that lead to was the ability of mass-producing clothes. It's one of the darkest period in high fashion history."

"Who cares" Chuck snorted. "It happened in Britain. Nothing important ever goes on over there."

"Brits invented your favorite beverage" Blair pointed out dryly.

She returned focus to the computer and really seemed genuine in her commitment to write a paper on one of the few revolutions that bored her. He couldn't quite figure out what this was all about so he walked over and stood right next to her desk and leaned back against the wall, twirling his scarf with one hand.

"So… This is your technique of choice? The sultry librarian or scientist or whatever?"

"What?" she asked looking up. "Don't wave around with that thing. It's really started to smell. Maybe it's time you ended the first serious relationship of your life and donated that thing to the charity called Garbage Can."

"The scarf is a legacy, one that will be preserved and handed over to my daughter on the eve of her twenty-first birthday. Might I ask what exactly this getup is inspired by? Countless action flicks you assume I watched because I'm a guy?"

Blair gave him an incredulous look and looked down to study her outfit.

"How is this any different from what I normally wear?"

"Exactly."

"Feel free to make some sense Chuck."

"I just think it's really saddening that the once great Blair Waldorf has lost all her creative drive when she became a mom."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Really Chuck, what had you expected? That I would be lingering on my bed wearing lingerie? This is about the conversation we had at your place, I take it."

"Lingering in lingerie would be too obvious" Chuck said, walking over to her bed to take a seat. "This approach however is not even A for effort."

"Chuck" Blair said, spinning around in her chair to give him a serious look. "Look, I thought about that… duel or whatever. It's not a very good idea."

"Honey so very few of your schemes have ever been based on a good idea. This I'd say is one of the better."

"Well I don't agree" Blair said. "I have a little baby, _we_ have a little baby, and we can't go around playing childish games. I don't have the time, energy or frankly the interest to play this game with you. Either way it's pointless. I have no interest in dating you or sleeping with you so why play the game?"

Chuck made a confused, displeased face. She sounded serious. He had expected her to say something similar to what she had just said, but he had expected her to be unable to hide that she was merely trying to convince herself, and him, that the words were true. That would have been a fun part of the game. But she really did seem to mean it and that was both disheartening and making him feel hurt. Did she really not care? Had it just been about not backing away from a challenge before? Or was it that she was interested but all her energy was being spent on Grace and she had none to spare?

"Look if you don't mind, I really need to get this report done" she said. "If Grace is awake why don't you take her for a walk?"

"You're absolutely right" he said, rising from her bed. "There's no point in us trying to best each other at the seduction game. We're parents. Parents of infants don't spend time on silly dares. Why don't I take Grace back to my place for a few hours and you can get that report finished?"

Blair smiled warmly.

"That would be great. Thanks Chuck."

She returned to the laptop and paid no further attention to him while he gathered what he needed for Grace and then lifted the baby up from the crib. When she knew he was about to leave she took a break from her report to get up and give the baby a kiss. She then gave Chuck a thankful smile and sat back down. Chuck rolled his eyes with annoyance and walked out to place Grace in the carry-cot he had spotted downstairs when he arrived.

The moment her door closed Blair looked up from her report, rested her elbows against the desk and her chin on her hands and smiled like the cat that ate the canary. That had gone better than expected. She really didn't have much time or energy to devote to this battle but she knew she had to win it nonetheless. So she had decided on a strategy Chuck would never expect, so long as she could play it flawlessly and not have it seen through by him. The plan was simply to acknowledge that they had for all intents and purposes placed a bet but that she had decided to withdraw. It had clearly pissed him off and with anyone else it might have been a dangerous play. But not with Chuck Bass. Right now he might be determined to act like the whole thing had never happened but it wouldn't be long before he would find it unacceptable that she had tossed aside a challenge like this and he would double his efforts to win it. The less interested she seemed the further he would have to go to get anywhere at all with her. And that was how she was going to win.

* * *

For the next couple of days everything continued as if nothing had happened. On Wednesday Blair caught up with Chuck just as he was heading off campus to get some non-cafeteria lunch and she was heading home to the baby.

"Good day so far?" she asked.

"Why the hell is this school so invested in my ability, or lack thereof, to speak Spanish?" he replied. "Apparently knowing the Spanish word for '_twin_' is not enough. I'm fairly certain Mr. Springer hates me."

"I'm one hundred percent certain the entire faculty hates you" Blair chirped. "Going out to lunch?"

"I crave sushi. Going home?"

"Yeah."

He nodded. She resisted the urge to study him curiously. It had been a few days so by now he should be getting over his grumpiness and plotting his attack. She couldn't wait to see what it would lead to.

They reached the street and walked to their respective limos.

"See you after school?" she said.

"Actually not today, so offer my apologies to the poop machine" he said. "I've got plans with my dad. Bart's in his latest you-should-take-an-active-part-in-Bass-Industries phase."

"I don't know who I pity more, you or Bart" Blair smiled. "See you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, bye."

They got in their cars and headed off in different directions. Blair forgot all about her duel with Chuck for the moment and went back to the other thing she had been devoting far too much time to lately, namely fretting over her history report. She wanted to get it back as soon as possible so she could read the A scribbled on it and put her mind at ease.

She sighed and closed her eyes. What she really needed was some release. Not through sex, because she wasn't really feeling sexy just a few months after having had a baby, but through some form of physical contact that wasn't between her and the baby. Maybe it was for the better if Chuck decided not to pursue their challenge. During the house warming party she hadn't really been physically aroused as much as she had been excited by the thrill of the challenge and by Chuck's general presence. She wasn't feeling very sexy at all, in fact she would much rather cuddle with Grace than get laid, but winning one over Chuck would have been really sweet. And cuddling with him might be just as nice as cuddling with the baby.

Then she scoffed at the thought. The day Chuck Bass cuddled with anyone would be the day hell froze over.

* * *

That evening she called Serena to take her mind off everything. Serena happily distracted her by talking about some guy named Aaron who was apparently an artist or something. Blair was happy to hear Serena wasn't moping around over Humphrey anymore and more than happy to listen to Serena going on and on about this guy.

"So are you meeting him tonight?" Blair asked.

"No, Mom's acting all weird and wants us to have family dinner, which in this case means just she, myself and Eric."

"Right" Blair nodded, remembering that Bart and Chuck were off doing something Bass Industries related.

"I think there's some kind of problem between her and Bart but she doesn't want to talk about it" Serena continued. "I actually would like for it to stick this time, which is why that's discouraging. I'm not Bart's biggest fan but this whole family thing has been working out better than I thought and besides, I like being Grace's actual aunt rather than just an honorary one. I guess we'll see if the situation is serious or not when Bart gets back from the Midwest."

"He's in the Midwest? What a bummer flying there for just one afternoon. What am I saying, what a bummer to go there at all."

"No he left on Sunday and won't be back until the weekend."

Blair frowned.

"But I thought… Is Chuck there with him?"

"No of course not" Serena said. "He's out with some girl that works at his favorite massage place which I think is just gross."

"But…"

Blair didn't know what to make of this. Serena went back to babbling about Aaron but Blair was no longer listening. Chuck was out with some girl? Like on a _date_? She had never known him to go on a date, ever. This had to be solely about sex. But if it was then why not make damn sure she knew about it? Regardless of whether he still wanted to play the game or decided his pride wouldn't allow him to after she backed out he would make it abundantly clear that he was going out with someone else. Instead he had made up a lie about having stuff to do with Bart. Blair could only take this to mean that he genuinely didn't _want_ her to know about his plans for the evening. What she couldn't figure out was why.

Or actually she could. But she didn't want to acknowledge that possibility. Was Chuck actually _interested_ in this girl? The way he had only previously been in Blair? Or did he think she was head over heels for him while he genuinely didn't reciprocate those feelings and wanted to spare her the hurt of knowing he was out sexing up someone else? Either option was far too humiliating to be acceptable.

"Blair?"

"Sorry what?" Blair said, suddenly remembering she was on the phone.

"I said that I take it Chuck's date tonight means that whatever you guys were fighting over is now in the past."

"Exactly" Blair said, feeling miserable. "There's nothing going on between Chuck and me. At all."

* * *

When Chuck got in he headed straight for his bedroom, for once looking forward to going to bed early. It had been a frustrating week so far. He stopped outside his room when he heard Serena talking on the phone to someone in her room. Curiously he stepped closer and a smile spread across his face when he realized she was talking to Blair. Serena was saying something about how she hoped Chuck would spend the night at his evening company's place and not bring her back to his own and a wide grin spread across Chuck's face. Good old Serena could always be trusted to spread the word to Blair.

"Back already?" Eric asked.

Chuck turned around and saw his stepbrother standing a few feet away.

"Just got in" Chuck acknowledged.

"What are you doing?"

"Eavesdropping. What have you been up to this evening?"

"Trying to get a hold of Jonathan but he seems really busy" Eric said with a touch of dismay.

"Not to worry little brother" Chuck said. "We could always ambush him in my limo and find out what he's spending all that time on."

"Thanks but I think I'll just wait and see for now" Eric said, looking a bit spooked by Chuck's suggestion. "How come you're back so soon?"

"I was never actually out with anyone" Chuck shrugged. "I just wanted Blair to think that I was."

"I don't follow."

"I won the first round" Chuck said. "It will only be a matter of time now before I've got her right where I want her. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to that exact place where I want her. Have a good night."

He walked inside his bedroom with a grin, leaving Eric utterly confused. Things were going well. Blair's indifference had seen a bit _too_ mature. There was no way she would back down that completely without any signs of internal struggle. There had to be something else going on. He had finally figured out what her strategy was and how she expected him to react. So he had reacted by faking a date and giving the appearance of trying to keep it secret from her. Now all he had to do was sit back and wait for her to get furious over his apparent lack of interest and she would be the one giving chase.

* * *

"Why are we here, S?" Blair asked a few days later as Serena opened the door to Rufus Humphrey's art gallery.

"Because you need to sort things out and since I can't help you I figured a man's outlook might help you gain some perspective."

"Then what the hell are we doing in _Brooklyn_ if it's a _man_ we're after?" Blair scoffed.

"Be nice B…"

During the past couple of days Serena had grown increasingly tired of the new situation between her best friend and her stepbrother, where neither one of them would admit to still being involved in their latest little game even though they both clearly were. Blair had at one point griped a bit about the situation but had soon gone back to pretending that she and Chuck were strictly platonic and that neither of them had any desire for there to ever be anything more between them, ever. By now Serena had had about as much of the situation as she could take and had decided to enlist help.

"You and Chuck need to get to the bottom of what you're really feeling for each other" she said firmly.

"We don't need to get to the bottom of anything" Blair protested. "We went through a brief period of confusing sexual desire for loving emotion, except he went through that period a year ago and I was more of a late bloomer. Either way we're now strictly platonic."

"Strictly platonic people do not engage in disputes over who can be the first to get the other to beg for sex or dates."

"How would you know, you've never been strictly platonic with anyone."

Serena led Blair inside the gallery to the café area where Dan was busy preparing for the upcoming opening. He looked up and got a surprised expression on his face that Blair would have found funny under different circumstances. Clearly the last thing he had been expecting was a visit from Serena accompanied by Blair holding a carry-cot with a sleeping baby.

"Wow, this… this is a surprise" Dan said. "I knew you were a snob Blair but I didn't think you would get _this_ early a start to the baby's appreciation for art."

"Please" Blair scoffed. "If introducing her to fine art was what I was after then I would never bring Grace here."

"You're just nothing but charm" Dan noted.

"Blair is very charming" Serena said. "Which is why I know you won't be able to say no to having a little conversation with her. I can't get through to her."

"S, Dan doesn't even know what this is about" Blair pointed out.

"The Chuck thing?" Dan guessed.

Blair's jaw dropped and she turned to Serena.

"You _told_ him?" she hissed.

"I merely asked one friend for advice on how to help another friend" Serena said.

"Yes but getting relationship advice from Dan Humphrey is like getting fashion advice from… Dan Humphrey."

"Am I blushing?" Dan said.

"Dan?" Serena said. "Please, would you just talk to her?"

"There's nothing to talk about!" Blair insisted.

"No B, you owe it to yourself, and you owe it to that little person in the carry-cot, to try and figure this out. You won't listen to me so at least try and listen to Dan. What do you say Dan, please?"

"Uhm… sure" Dan said. "Why not?"

"I'm gonna go look at the art" Serena said with a smug smile. "In the art gallery. Talk!"

Blair made a frustrated face but obediently stayed while Serena walked off. She lifted the carry-cot up and placed it on the counter.

"Serena tells me that you're in some sort of fight with Chuck?" Dan said. "She says it's bad for the baby?"

"We're not in a fight" Blair said. "We just hate each other, that's all. That's no bar to being parents together."

"Maybe not on the Upper East Side, but to the rest of the world I'm pretty sure it is."

"Spare me the heaps of judgment" Blair said. "God it must be so hard being Dan Humphrey and always walk around with the weight of the world's moral on your shoulders."

"Probably a lot easier than being Blair Waldorf walking around with Chuck Bass' baby in a carry-cot" Dan replied.

"How much did S tell you?"

"She told me that you and Chuck are in some sort of argument and that it involves one of you throwing the other an ultimatum and the other throwing one right back."

"Basically…" Blair began with a sigh.

"I don't know where the two of you find the time for that kind of drama when you can't even stop by an art gallery without bringing the little one. Who is adorable, by the way."

"I know. Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Sorry."

"It's not so much an ultimatum" Blair sighed.

"Okay? Another one of your games?"

"Chuck thinks that I want him more than he wants me which is absurd since I've already got all the Chuck Bass I need." She emphasized the point by nodding to the baby.

"Okay, so… so that should be fairly easy to prove" Dan thought. "Just, you know… act normal around him. Like you don't want him."

"That's not enough" Blair complained. "I need _him_ to want _me_ to prove that I am the one who holds power over him and not vice versa."

"Why does anyone have to hold power over anyone?"

"Wisely spoken Humphrey" Blair said with a fake smirk. "Proving once and for all that it's merely lack of ambition that makes a person a Brooklynite."

"You're a wonderful role model for your daughter" Dan retorted. "Speaking of whom, you seriously ought to have bigger things to worry about than who is more horny for whom. Did you ever think that maybe you should just, I don't know, let it go?"

"I can't!"

"Why?"

"Because…" Blair looked down at her hands and sighed, miserably wondering why she was confessing this to anyone at all, let alone Dan. "If I let this go now then that means I don't care if he wants me or not and we'll just go back to being two people who were friends and accidentally made a baby."

"Yeah but that is what you are… I mean, isn't it?"

She avoided looking into his eyes and sighed again. Dan stopped unpacking wine bottles and studied her intently.

"Do… Do you have feelings for him?"

"I don't know" Blair complained. "Maybe I'm just hormonal and confused. I had a baby with him just a few months ago and while I can't say that my mind is on sex more than once a month anymore at least with a battle of seduction we're something more than just friends. And that's all he can be right now. He wouldn't know how to be more to someone than just a sex partner and I don't have the energy to teach him nor do I wish to take that much time away from my daughter."

"Well maybe Chuck isn't pushing this issue further because he does care and realizes that getting into bed with him is not really what you want right now?" Dan suggested, before shaking his head. "I cannot believe I just attributed human emotion and common decency to Chuck Bass. I think the fact that the cute little thing in the carry-cot is part of him is throwing me off. Look, why don't you just talk to him about this? Lay the cards on the table, tell him you think of him as more than just a friend but right now is not the time for you to explore that."

"I can't do that. What if he really does have no feelings for me other than lust? Then I will have given away my pride and any shred of power to him and I will just look a fool."

"Maybe" Dan admitted. "But you don't know that that will happen. We're talking about the most sexual guy in senior year of high school throughout this entire continent and he still expresses interest in you even after having slept with you in the past and you being a new mother. It can't just be about sex for him. Not this time."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Then at least you will know. Look if he is just messing with you right now and distracting you and himself for that matter from your infant then you're not the one who needs to feel embarrassed. Okay? He is."

Blair nodded miserably. She looked over at Grace. Dan really had a point. So what if she did end up losing her pride and dignity over this? It was a sacrifice she could make to be a better parent and not allow herself to be distracted by a guy, even if the guy was her baby's father.

"You're right" she finally said. "Thanks Humphrey."

"Words I never thought I'd hear" Dan noted. "You're welcome."

She smiled joylessly and for the hundredth time wondered how she had ended up in this mess. She grabbed the carry-cot and went to find Serena to go home. She needed some time to think about what she was going to say to Chuck.

* * *

That evening Blair sat alone in her room with the only source of light being the lamp on the vanity she was sitting by. Grace was asleep in her crib and Blair was alone with her thoughts. Her rather miserable thoughts. Why did all of this have to happen now? Why couldn't she and Chuck have engaged in games with each other before they got pregnant? Or a year or two into the future when Grace didn't need the same kind of attention as she did now? It didn't seem fair. And she was petrified of having the conversation with Chuck that she knew she needed to have. Not knowing what he would say or how he would react was scary.

Her door opened and Chuck walked in, looking like he was feeling about as great as she was. She felt instantly nervous. She had no idea what to say to him right now nor did she know what he wanted.

"What do you want Chuck?" she asked.

"To talk. Things have been so weird between us this past week…"

She looked away and tried not to be moved by the gentle sincerity in his voice. Ironically this conversation would not be any easier because he was in this kind of mood. She was better equipped to deal with smarmy Chuck than sincere Chuck.

"Look about the deal we made…" he said, stepping closer. "I didn't… You were right on Monday. It was a horrible idea."

Blair swallowed hard to try and keep the tears away. She knew he was right but it hurt to hear him say it. He was saying it sincerely, not challengingly.

"At first I thought you were just employing some strategy on me, playing uninterested so that I would step up my game without you having to do much" he said. "But something seemed wrong about that. I can usually tell when you're lying and from what I could tell you really meant what you said."

"I did" Blair admitted.

"But you didn't want to. You don't want to go back to being just friends and nothing more any more than I do. But you're not ready right now, are you? You're a mother with a little baby. You have other priorities. You're probably not even interested in having sex right now, or starting up a relationship."

"Gracie needs me" Blair said, wiping away the tear that annoyingly decided to fall down her cheek.

"I'm sorry. I should have thought past my own stuff. I guess I was just… as scared as you are of moving away from the place we have gotten to. The reason why neither one of us has made any real attempts at winning this new bet we placed isn't because we don't want each other. And it was unfair of me to put you in a position where you felt you had to choose between being a good mother and the possibility of you and me exploring what this thing between us really is sometime in the future."

"For the record…" Blair said. "It was never a choice. It never will be."

"I know" he said and looked over at the crib. "But maybe in the future… Maybe whenever you feel ready…"

She got up from her chair and walked over to the crib, wiping away another tear. She stopped by the crib and placed her hands on it, looking down at their sleeping child. Chuck walked up and stopped just behind her, looking over her shoulder.

"There's more to this than two friends sleeping together and conceiving a child and we both know it" he said in what was barely more than a whisper. "Maybe for now that can be enough. Grace has to come first."

"She's more important than any game" Blair said.

"We both ended the game before it even began."

She turned around and looked at him. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, his right hand gently caressing her cheek.

"Maybe someday we won't need the games" he said.

"We like games."

A hint of a smile passed over his lips. Without having to say it out loud they both knew they had reached the same conclusion. When they could take a step forward in their relationship without turning it into a game, then they could try and be together. Until then they would stay platonic but both know that they were something more to each other than just friends.

Chuck slowly walked out of her room, not breaking eye-contact until he had to. Blair turned back around and looked down at Grace.

"Who knew there was a person who could make us walk away from a game?" she said to the baby.

She stayed by the crib for a while, letting the tears fall freely. Even though she hadn't won anything from this game at least she hadn't lost. Chuck cared about her. And he knew she cared about him. She knew that would be enough to keep him emotionally hers, at least for a while. The more she thought about it she realized that he had actually handed her the victory tonight. He had admitted that it was about much more than just sex. That was all she needed to know for now.

* * *

So yes, I am going down the Chair romance path… at least for a bit ;) The thing is though it seems unlikely to me that a pair of new parents (especially a new mother) would have time, energy or for that matter interest to devote to romance and sex which is why I took this chapter in the direction it went. Frankly I think it's unrealistic that Blair would be thinking about getting into bed with Chuck at all roughly three months after having a baby, but I attribute the fact that she somewhat is to her having both her mother and (occasionally) Dorota to help her out with the baby so she's got a bit of extra energy. I'm not sure if that makes any sense but if nothing else it would make for a pretty dull story if all she did was spend time with the baby. Hope you can forgive me (and her) for a few sidetracks.

And with that rambling taken care of you are free to go do other things =) Though please leave a review before you go.


	33. Chapter 33

This is yet another update that borrows from the show. Seeing as how I presume anyone who reads this has also watched the episode in question I haven't included every scene dealing with the storylines I've used. I haven't done that in the past either but I gloss over more scenes this time around so I hope it doesn't come off as jumpy. Other than that I don't think I have much to say about this chapter, except I haven't had a chance to read through it so I hope there are no oddities. Hope you'll enjoy!

Also, happy birthday to reviewer jeweline.

* * *

"So will you be going to the Snowflake Ball?" Dan asked Serena.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world" Serena grinned. "There's something I really love about it. It reminds me of '_Anna Karenina_', only by Anna Wintour."

Dan raised an eyebrow, surprised that Serena had ever read '_Anna Karenina_'. They were sitting at a table out in the courtyard, working on their new friendship.

"Great" he said. "Maybe if you can tear yourself away from Aaron for a moment you could dance with me. Then at least _someone_ would have danced with me that night."

"You're going to the ball?" Serena exclaimed. "I would never have guessed!"

"Me neither" Dan said. "Yeah, I just realized that for the past two years some of my best memories have been at those events, so… You know, why fight it?"

Suddenly Blair stomped up, slammed her things down at the table and took a seat.

"Go exist elsewhere, Humphrey" she said. "I have a major crisis."

"What is it this time?" Dan asked dryly. "Did the baby blow a spit-bubble that wasn't unreasonably cute?"

"Yeah" Blair said with sarcasm, nodding her head. "Now that I think about it, it actually was the spitting image of you. Now scram."

Choosing flight over fight Dan sighed and gathered his things to leave. Once he was gone Serena raised an eyebrow at Blair.

"Seriously B, it's been almost a year and a half. Can't you learn to be a little nice to him? For my sake?"

"Fortunately I don't have to pretend to tolerate him anymore seeing as how he's not your boyfriend."

"When did you ever pretend to tolerate him?"

"Who cares, it's just Dan Humphrey" Blair said, waving a dismissive hand. "I have a real problem on my hands here."

"Fine. What is it?"

"The Snowflake Ball is the first major event I will have attended since I first started showing" Blair said. "And I don't have a date. I should have had at least twenty offers by now and so far none. How am I supposed to make my social re-debut memorable if I come stag?"

"It would be memorable, but not in the way you would like" Serena remarked. "B what can I do to help? I don't exactly know a lot of guys to set you up with. In fact the only guys I hang out with anymore are Dan, and I know you'd rather dance on hot coal than dance with him, Nate, who obviously isn't an option, and Chuck who I don't think is an option either."

"Serena this is your one chance to prove that you are more than a pretty face" Blair said. "Now gather all your brain cells together and _think_. What about guys from other schools? They may not have heard that I had a baby."

"Everyone in Manhattan heard."

"That's not the attitude we're looking for."

"Okay, uhm, I think Mike Benson has always had a thing for you."

"Who?"

"You know, the guy on the debate team who always wears orange socks?"

"The guy who's the size of a McDonald's frequenter? Good God S, raise your standards at least to ground level."

"Then how about Stanley Stark?"

"Rides the _bus_ to school."

Serena rolled her eyes but laughed a little. Blair groaned and resisted the urge to hide her face in her hands. Which was fortunate, because out of nowhere Chuck materialized and sat down next to her at the table.

"Good morning ladies" he smirked. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Why is Serena listing the biggest losers at St. Jude's and why is Blair looking so desolate?"

"Perhaps I sensed you were approaching" Blair snarled.

"Good one" Chuck said. "I find the desolate look appearing more often when I leave than when I arrive."

"Blair just needed help-" Serena began before being kicked on the shin under the table.

"I was just trying to think of which guys I'm glad would never dare ask me out" Blair said and gave Chuck a fake smile.

"Now why would you do that? Having trouble on the dating front?"

"Not even close. I have lots of offers for the Snowflake Ball."

"Really? So who is currently in the lead to have the honor of taking my baby mama to the big event?"

"None of your business."

"I'd say it is my business. Come on, I'm curious. Give me names."

"Well since you're asking, I'm currently choosing between John McTakeahintandleave and Mark MywordsIwillpoundonyouson."

"Don't tell me you're having trouble finding a date?" Chuck said, clearly enjoying the possibility.

"The mere idea if that being true is incredibly offensive" Blair huffed.

"Really? Seems to me that the more offended you get by something I say, the closer I am to the truth."

"You know what, I think I'm going to go find Dan and finish our conversation from before" Serena said and rose from her seat. "I can catch the next fight."

"Oh no you don't" Blair said, grabbing her by the arm. "You're staying right here. Chuck get lost, you're just annoyed that other guys dare date me even after I had your baby. Turns out you _don't_ scare them off as much as your ego would like."

"I know when I'm not wanted" Chuck said merrily and got up.

"I highly doubt it."

"I will see you after school."

He walked away and Blair looked after him with a frustrated sigh. Ending up without a date, or without an appropriate one, was going to be unbelievably humiliated now that Chuck knew she was looking for someone to go with. If he hadn't known that she could have claimed she _chose_ to go on her own.

"This is a disaster" she whined.

"B, we'll find you a date" Serena said reassuringly.

"How are we going to do that exactly? This is high school, not '_Clan of the Cave Bear_'. Men don't rush to date you once they realize you're super fertile."

"We'll think of something."

Blair groaned and wished she could just hire some hot model to be her date to the dance. Unfortunately it would take Chuck approximately five seconds to figure that out and she would be even more humiliated than before. It had been close to a month since they had made, and walked away from, the bet on who would be the first to surrender to the other and while Blair still wasn't eager to start dating people again the thought of going alone to the ball was bad and the thought of Chuck knowing it wasn't by choice was horrible. She had to find a solution to this problem, and fast.

* * *

"Isn't this adorable?" Blair said to Chuck the second he walked through the door, attempting to distract him from their earlier conversation.

He shrugged a shoulder. Blair had dressed the baby in a onesie made to look like a gingerbread cookie, a look he thought was kind of white trash and had assumed Blair would too. Not that he cared all that much, he had other things on his mind.

"I was thinking about our little talk earlier in the day" he said.

Blair suppressed a groan. Of course he was.

"It occurred to me that I should choose your date."

"Why?" Blair asked. "I'm perfectly capable of finding my own."

"Debatable."

"Why should you pick my date?"

"Why not? Contrary to what you claimed earlier in the day, who you decide to date actually concerns me now. I can't have my daughter's mother running around with mighty big Mike or bus loving Stanley. Besides, it will let me prove I know you better than anyone else."

"Fine" Blair said, secretly pleased with the idea since it took the burden of finding a date off her shoulders. "Then I choose yours."

"I bring a date for you, you bring a date for me, and we'll see who's paying attention to the other's desires…"

"And, if anyone should be vetoing the dating choices of the other it's me" Blair said. "I wouldn't let any of your cheap harlots within twelve blocks of Grace."

"Oh don't worry they're not potential stepmothers, just… bed warmers."

"As grossed out as I am by that, let's move on to the specifics. There has to be something to keep you honest… and to make things interesting."

"Name the stakes" Chuck said with a nod.

"If you actually like your date… I… get your limo. For a month."

"Fine. And if you like yours… I get Dorota."

"What? Dorota?"

"I could use someone to polish my shoes and bring me breakfast in bed… And the added satisfaction of knowing you'd be changing all of Grace's diapers on your own."

"Haven't you heard?" Blair smirked "Marissa, Mother's new assistant, is great with the diaper changes."

"How very disappointing. Do we have a deal?"

"Fine."

"Good. Now get the baby out of that gingerbread thing. As far as distractions go that was pretty awful."

"Distractions?" Blair said innocently.

Chuck just smirked in response. Clearly he knew exactly what had been going on earlier in the day and why she had dressed the baby up like a gingerbread cookie. Perhaps he thought that being able to read her like that would give him the upper hand in this new bet of theirs but if so he was sorely mistaken.

She got up and began to remove the outfit from the baby. Grace protested but didn't start to cry. Once the outfit was off Blair handed her over to Chuck and smiled.

"Can you imagine that in a few years _she_ will be going to fancy balls and dances, the boys lining up to be her date?"

"She will be the most popular girl at school" Chuck said. "Although it will be more than just a few years. In a few years she will start kindergarten."

"She will be the most popular girl there too" Blair said, walking over to the dresser to get something else for the baby to wear. "And once she gets old enough she will be the queen of high school, just like her mother."

"Hopefully she won't get knocked up like her mother" Chuck replied. "Then she won't be able to find any dates anymore."

Blair shot him a death glare which he ignored.

"I can't imagine what you will be like when she's a teenager" she said, hoping to change the subject at least a bit.

"Let me help you out with that. I will be thirty-something. In my prime."

"You had better not become one of those creepy men who run after their daughter's friends" Blair said with a disgusted frown.

"I promise you Waldorf the day Grace turns eighteen will be the day I stop going after eighteen year-olds."

"Chuck for crying out loud!"

"I'm joking" Chuck said. "Frankly I find sixteen year-olds rather dull now. Anyone under the age of twenty-two is going to be far too annoying when I'm in my thirties."

"Reassuring" Blair said with a snarl. "My eighteen year-old daughter's thirty-five year-old father will only be going after women a whole teenager younger than him."

"I feel like we're getting lost in a weird territory here" Chuck said. "Besides, you will be eating out of my hand long before I'm thirty-five."

"Not even long before you're a hundred and thirty-five Bass."

He shrugged good-naturedly, knowing the banter was mostly just old habit. Though she had yet to actually try and make something happen between them again he was fairly sure she felt _something_. That wasn't exactly good enough in the long run but for right now he could make do with that.

Blair decided on an outfit and walked over to him.

"Put Grace on the bed, would you please?"

He walked up to her bed and sat down, keeping Grace in his lap. In his experience it was easier to dress the baby through teamwork. Blair said nothing about this and began to try and pull a sweater over the baby's head.

"I've been considering signing myself and Grace up for baby yoga" she said, feeling a bit too awkward without talking.

"I know you've talked about getting her started with ballet as soon as possible but I think we should let her learn how to stand up first before we force her to try and stand in one of those tree positions."

"No" Blair said with her eyes rolling. "It's this thing where you strap the baby to your chest and do various yoga poses. It gives me a workout and allows me to have her really close."

"Will I have to do anything?"

"No."

"Then knock yourself out."

"Hold her up please."

He lifted Grace up so that Blair could pull the pants over her rear. Their hands touched and Blair paused for half a second before continuing. She kept her eyes on Grace, embarrassed by her own reaction but knowing that he had felt it too. The spark. She looked up but didn't meet his eyes as they were busy making the pattern on Grace's sweater look like the most interesting sight all week. She smiled slightly to herself.

"You know, this is really going to be a blessing for you" he said. "You'll hit it off with the guy I bring you and you'll get Dorota out of the house and away from the baby for a whole month. You're a lucky girl Waldorf."

"I won't need Dorota when I'm out riding around with Grace in your limo" Blair retorted.

"Yeah. We'll see."

* * *

"Ugh, these shoes are no good" Blair groaned and tossed her new Manolos aside. "My first ball in eons of time. I can't have semi-decent shoes."

"What's wrong with them?" Serena asked, looking up from the fingers she was applying nail polish to.

"For one, the price tag" Blair said, grabbing another pair from her shoe closet. "Even Little J could have afforded them. Provided she sold a kidney first."

"Have you found Chuck's date yet?"

"I'm working on it. Though God knows time is becoming something of a problem. The ball is in two days and I would have had enough on my hands as it was even if I didn't have a three month old baby."

"Why does she always have to nap at this time of the day?" Serena asked with a pout. "It seems like whenever I stop by Grace is sleeping."

"Trust me S, when you have your own baby you're quickly going to realize that they're never more amazing than when they're sound asleep. I always put her down for a nap after her afternoon feeding, because if I don't she will fall asleep way too early in the evening and I won't get to sleep during the night. If you can count sleeping for a few hours at a time getting a good night's sleep…"

The baby now slept a little longer each time, which was heavenly, but it was still a rarity for her baby to sleep for a full eight hours. Blair's routine had been to nurse the baby when she got home from school and had lunch, and then nurse her again three hours later, followed by a diaper change and a nap. Now that she slept for longer periods of time the routine had been changed, so that nursing, changing and sleeping came later on in the afternoon. That way the baby was awake and alert when Chuck stopped by after school. Blair then let the baby sleep for about three hours, then woke her up after Blair had had her own dinner and did the nursing, changing, sleeping dance again in the evening.

Right now it was almost time for dinner, and Grace had been fast asleep for over two hours. Serena usually stopped by after Chuck had gotten back home, meaning she usually managed to catch the baby's sleeping hours. It was Bart who had restricted her to visiting once Chuck had left, so that she wouldn't interfere with parental bonding. She found it annoying, but knew better than to try and butt heads with her stepfather on issues regarding Grace.

Serena lifted her left hand and studied the newly painted nails. One more coating, she decided, and grabbed the bottle of nail polish again.

"Are you sure this whole deal with Chuck is such a good idea?" she asked.

"Of course it's a good idea" Blair said, snorting at the idea that it wouldn't be.

"I'm telling you, seeing someone else with your ex, even if you think you're ready, is not easy" Serena said.

"Chuck isn't my ex."

"Didn't you guys have something resembling a secret relationship when the baby was conceived?"

"Our genitals had a secret relationship when the baby was conceived. Chuck and me? Not so much."

"If you say so."

"These shoes won't work either" Blair sighed and walked back into her shoe closet. "Why are you making it sound like helping my baby's father find the perfect future stepmother is something weird?"

"I'm not saying it's weird, even though it really is."

"It's not" Blair insisted, walking back out with two pairs of shoes. "I know every inch of Chuck's wafer thin soul. This is going to be a piece of cake."

"Maybe, but I just think you should take into consideration that it might hurt to see him with someone else."

"This isn't about me and Chuck, is it?" Blair asked, sitting down to try on a pair of shoes. "It's about your lame outer-boroughs double date last night. Come on, what happened?"

"Nothing!" Serena said with fake enthusiasm. "It was great. Right up until Dan asked Lexie to go with him to the Snowflake Ball."

"So they're going to the dance?"

"Yeah! And then I found out she tends to extend herself to guys on a first date."

"So?" Blair asked with a giggle. "Just tell her to use double condoms, or she'll not be going to any balls for almost exactly a year."

"We're friends now, Dan and me" Serena insisted. "Shouldn't I give him a heads up or something?"

"Oh absolutely, guys hate to be caught off-guard with sex on the first date" Blair said, trying on yet another pair of shoes. "Just give him a heads up about the condom thing and you've done your part as a friend."

"You're right" Serena sighed. "I should just… not think about it."

"Exactly" Blair said. "Just like I'm sure Dan doesn't think about you and Aaron all horizontal and sweaty."

Serena didn't answer and instead studied her nails carefully. Blair noticed the lack of response and looked up.

"It is okay to talk about s-e-x with the baby in the room" she said, spelling out the word 'sex' dramatically.

"Uh-huh" Serena said.

"Wait, you guys have slept together, haven't you?"

Serena looked uncomfortable, but before she could answer Grace woke up and began to cry. Serena felt relieved and put the nail polish away as Blair momentarily forgot the question at hand and walked over to the crib.

"What is up with you?" Blair asked Grace. "You should still be sleeping." She lifted the little girl up. "Oh, yeah, I see what's wrong. Excuse me S, I need to find someone who can change her diaper for me. We'll be right back."

Serena watched her go and rolled over on her back with a sigh. She didn't want to discuss the fact that she and Aaron had not yet had sex, but she really wanted to talk to Blair about the way she felt regarding Dan in this situation. Now that Grace had woken up Serena knew the chances of her getting to talk this through with Blair were minimal.

She had tried to make sense out of the whole Dan thing on her own but she had only been going around in circles. She needed someone to help her sort through this and to steer her in the proper direction. She needed her best friend. Even though things had gotten a bit better since they had their talk Blair just didn't have the time or energy anymore the way she used to. The baby was always present in some way, either physically or by being on Blair's mind. It was hard to get her full attention for more than a few minutes at a time.

With a groan she tossed the nail polish aside and indulged in some self-pity.

* * *

Blair studied herself in the mirror, pleased with what she saw. Her makeup was perfect, her hair beautifully styled and her dress, designed by her mother, was astounding. What made her especially pleased was the fact that there was not a gram of baby weight left on her body, save for her fuller bosom, which was hardly a negative. In addition her mother had taken care of Grace whenever she had woken up during the night, so Blair had had a full night of uninterrupted sleep. She had never looked better.

All she needed to complete her look was jewelry. Specifically, a necklace. And she already knew which one to wear.

She reached for the jewelry box sitting on her dresser and opened it. With a smile she lifted up the Erickson Beamon necklace Chuck had given her for her seventeenth birthday. She rose from her chair and walked over to her bed, where Grace was entertaining herself with the bumblebee plushie Serena had given her.

"Hey…" Blair said softly, sitting down on the bed next to her daughter, holding up the necklace to her. "See this, honey? Beautiful, isn't it?"

Grace seemed to agree. She dropped the bumblebee and reached for the shiny necklace her mother was holding up. Blair let her touch the necklace, but made sure she didn't get a grip on it. She chuckled at the sight of the baby admiring the necklace.

"This should really belong to you" she said. "Your father's gift to me… Tell you what. On your wedding day I will give this necklace to you. You can wear it with your dress. Won't that be great symbolism? And hopefully your dada and I will be together too at that point…"

She sighed wistfully. She really did wish for that. She wanted Chuck, and believed he wanted her too, and she had never been one to see love as anything other than everlasting. Serena had been right about how screwed up their whole arrangement for this dance was, but at the same time it was so _them_. The games, the back and forth, the teasing… Yet at the same time it felt like they were moving past that to a more mature place. Blair hoped this time it would end with the two of them being able to voice their feelings for one another. Being in a real relationship with Chuck sounded amazing, especially with the holidays coming up. The idea of spending Grace's first Christmas together, all three of them, was so tempting it made her grin widely.

"I don't know kiddo, what do you think?" she asked the baby. "Should Mommy go for it tonight? Tell your daddy I can't stop thinking about him, to hell with all games and power play, and maybe give him a kiss? What do you think?"

The baby smiled, eyes focused on the shiny necklace. Blair lovingly gave her tummy a little rub. If things went well maybe she could bring Chuck back home, and they could spend the night together. Sex optional. They could wake up together tomorrow and spend all day together, just the two of them and their baby.

"You would like that, wouldn't you darling?" Blair said. "Me and you and Dad, spending all day together tomorrow? And while you take your naps, Dad and I can do other things. Doesn't that sound like a perfect day?" She sighed. "Or am I just fooling myself? Maybe he's got enough on his hands trying to be a father and wanting him to learn how to be a boyfriend at the same time is asking too much? And it's not like much has changed for me, I'm still focused on you, little princess."

The baby had no words of wisdom to offer. Grace's eyes were still fixed on the necklace, while she was shoving her right foot in her mouth with a thoughtful expression.

"I should get ready" Blair said, rising from the bed. "Whatever happens tonight… will happen. I'll just go with the flow."

They baby made some noises Blair decided were noises of agreement. She walked inside her shoe closet and grabbed the pair she had decided on earlier in the day.

"Just do me a favor Grace…" she said. "Join me in praying that he _won't_ like Justine. I'd much rather have him than have his limo for a month. And if it turns out he likes her you can't tell him I said that."

She checked herself in the mirror one more time, deemed her appearance acceptable and then opened her door and called for Dorota. She didn't want to risk lifting Grace up in case she would throw up on her.

"Oh Miss Blair you look wonderful" Dorota beamed when she came into the room.

"I know" Blair smiled.

"Mister Chuck's dream date stand no chance" Dorota said with a big smile. "He will only have eyes for you."

"That is not what we are going for" Blair said, wondering why she bothered lying to Dorota. "He will absolutely love her."

Dorota didn't look too sure about that and seemed in a splendid mood. She picked the baby up and held up her hand to wave goodbye to Blair.

"Have wonderful time" Dorota said.

"I intend to" Blair smiled. She gave the baby a kiss. "Bye darling. Be a good girl."

"Bye Mama" Dorota said, still waving the baby's hand. "Don't be home too early."

Blair couldn't stop herself from chuckling.

"You never know Dorota. Maybe whatever cardboard-cutout guy Chuck brings for me will turn out to be a great guy."

"I hope not" Dorota said. "I don't want to shine Mr. Chuck's shoes for a month."

"If it's true love then we will all have to make sacrifices."

"Maybe true love be with someone other than cardboard guy" Dorota said and winked.

"Dorota that is enough" Blair said. Then she smiled widely and sighed contently. "My first ball in forever! Don't wait up."

She grabbed her purse from the dresser and headed out the door.

* * *

Two hours later she was absolutely livid as she dragged Chuck away to have a private conversation. First he had showed up late. Not that they had actually set a time for when they would meet up at the ball but arriving at a more than fashionably late hour was just offensive. Then he had introduced her to the guy he had brought to be her date. Some idiot who was basically Chuck but not as hot and not as rich and, she had to give him that, not as ridiculously dressed. Basically just a cheap copy. It was downright insulting. So she had requested to speak with Chuck in private.

"Did you really think that a lesser version of yourself would be able to charm me?" she snarled once she deemed that they had walked far enough away from their dates.

"You obviously can't handle the real deal so I thought I'd start you off with something a touch… lighter" Chuck said with a pleased smirk. "What about yourself? You didn't exactly branch out either."

"I was being efficient. In case you haven't noticed I devote much of my time to caring for _your_ daughter. So I asked myself what the easiest way to get your interest up would be. Since I know the only woman you're really dying to put your hands all over is me I figured a Canal Street knockoff would be the best option."

"My thinking exactly. When you're not focusing on the baby you're daydreaming about me, so why not just give you a starter version?"

"Fine" Blair snarled, demonstratively ignoring the daydream comment. "But if beta-Bass turns out to be anything like the original I have no doubt that he'll turn out to be a giant waste of time."

"And I'm curious to see if the new Blair has all the features I so enjoyed on the old model" Chuck replied.

"So the bet is still on?"

"Unless you're willing to concede? Again?"

"To you? Never."

She stomped off towards where they had left their dates and he followed. But when they got back to where they had left the pair they couldn't find them. Blair growled angrily and started searching the room which Chuck lazily following.

"Where are they?" she griped.

"Relax. They'll be here somewhere."

They rounded a corner and found their dates. The duo was leaning against a wall, making out. Blair felt a mixture between nausea at having to witness this scene and relief that she wouldn't have to witness Justine kissing Chuck, or be the person Chuck's guy was kissing. Suddenly she really regretted having strayed from her path of parental maturity and agreed to this stupid bet.

"This is the worst out-of-body experience ever" she sighed.

The kissing couple noticed their audience and managed to separate themselves. Blair held back a growl. Whatever was going on here it was far too annoying for her to want to deal with at present. She could see Chuck rolling his eyes and knew he agreed with her that this situation just plain sucked.

* * *

Chuck walked around aimlessly for a while after Blair stormed off following their conversation with the ridiculous duo they had brought to the ball. He wasn't nearly as upset by the hookup as Blair was but it did annoy him that it had put her in such a foul mood. It seemed like such a waste of a party.

He cursed the fact that this was a high school event orchestrated by his stepmother and other women like her and therefore completely void of alcohol. He could use something suitably strong right about now. Seeing the backup versions of himself and Blair make out had done a far too efficient job of reminding him of how long it had been since he last kissed Blair. He could care less if those two body-doubles had a happily ever after but he didn't like the reminder that his own love life seemed to have withered before it even began.

He walked up the stairs to the upper level and whatever was left of his good mood vanished completely when he saw the man his stepmother was currently talking to and the look on that man's face. This clearly wasn't just a friendly conversation. Chuck had suspected for a while now that something was going on that his father didn't know about and had sent one of his PIs to do a little research. He knew who Rufus Humphrey was and he knew about his connection to Lily. And right now it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was not just an old flame. It seemed Chuck's night had gone from bad to worse. The only question was what he should do about it. Should he just ignore it? Or confront Lily and ask her what was going on? Or should he call his father and tell him to come over and handle the situation himself?

* * *

Blair stood by herself on the upper level and looked down on the dancing couples below and the tongue-tangoing couple leaning against a wall on the far side of the room. So much for her grand return to the finer events. The evening had been a disaster. Seeing Justine hooking up with the poor man's Chuck made her feel really sad. She wondered what might have been if things had happened differently. Ironically the main reason she and Chuck were staying apart was that her world was so centered around the baby they shared. What if there had been no Grace? Blair didn't enjoy thinking the thought but she couldn't help but wonder if she and Chuck would have been together by now or if they would never even have repaired the friendship that had broken at the start of the year. She wished they could have worked all these issues out before the baby had been born but at that point she had been thinking about Nate still and she hadn't been ready to be anything real with Chuck. Things were just too messed up.

She could feel him approach. She didn't need to look up and see that it was him or hear his voice to confirm it. She just knew. He seemed to be in about as wonderful a mood as she was. In a way it was comforting. She wasn't alone in feeling disappointed. They were somehow together even though they were apart.

In the corner of her eye she saw him turn his face to look at her. She met his gaze and wondered what he wanted.

"Dance with me" he requested.

"What's the point Chuck? We're never going to be them." She turned her face away from him and heard him sigh. "We both agreed that we're not ready right now. We won't be so long as we need the games."

"Our game tonight failed" he pointed out. "When has that ever happened to us before? Neither one of our hearts was in it."

"So what? That doesn't change the fact that our lives and our relationship is way more complicated than any of those people down there."

"Maybe" he said. "But our lives are complicated because of Grace and I wouldn't change that. And I wouldn't change us. Not if it meant losing what we have."

"And what do we have Chuck?" Blair asked. "You tell me."

"Tonight. So shut up… and dance with me."

He held out his arm, not taking no for an answer. Not that she had any intention of saying no. Not when she was starting to feel happy again. She gladly took his arm and followed him down the steps to the dance floor and something about the moment made it feel like everything was alright. They were just two teenagers who were starting to explore mutual feelings and at least for right now they could enjoy the moment. Perhaps it was the fact that she was out at a fancy event and he was there too, neither one of them sat home with the baby. It was the first time they had spent time together outside of school all semester without Grace being involved. For just this one evening they could just be Chuck and Blair, not Chuck and Blair co-parents.

It felt like it had been forever since they last danced together. Their arms were around each other the moment they reached the bottom of the stairs and were out on the dance floor, and they began to dance, eyes locked together.

"Revealing, isn't it?" he said.

"Mmm…" Blair said, stirred from her daydreams. "What?"

"We dance well together. Whenever there's something that involves teamwork you and I excel so long as we're working together. Always in rhythm with each other…"

Blair would like to protest to that comment but stayed silent. In many ways he was right, but when it came to being brave enough to admit to feelings they had never even been close to being in sync.

They stayed silent for the duration of the song and barely even noticed when it stopped playing and another song began. Blair found herself wondering what they were really doing. Why were they refusing to admit what they so obviously felt? Deep down she knew that the reason was their daughter, and the fear that things might get too complicated before they were both sure. But at moments like this it felt like they both were sure.

Without Blair realizing how it happened their faces had moved closer and closer together. Eventually their noses brushed against each other, followed by their lips. It wasn't really a kiss, just two pairs of lips barely touching, but there was more electricity in that hint of a touch than there had been in any kiss Blair had shared with anyone else in the past. She wasn't sure how either one of them was able to restrain themselves. All she wanted to do was kiss him for real, the way she had in the past yet at the same time different. This time it would be with more than just sexual chemistry and passion. There would be genuine feelings behind it.

Chuck pulled away from her.

"Let's go somewhere else" he said. "Too much of an audience here."

He nodded towards the stairs and she smiled. Of course. Up to the roof. Where else? They ended their dance and she let him take her hand in his and lead her away from the dance floor. He walked a step ahead of her but turned around and smiled knowingly. She couldn't wait to be alone with him up on the roof. She could think of nothing better than to make out with him up there for a while before bringing him back home for exactly the kind of night she had envisioned earlier. Tomorrow they would be able to spend all day together with Grace. She felt an excitement unlike anything she had ever experienced before at the mere thought of it. The lack of energy she had felt a month ago seemed to have gone away, if only just for the moment. One moment might be all that they needed. They could figure all the rest out tomorrow.

Just as they reached the door leading up to the roof Lily came hurrying up to them.

"Charles!" she said. "Charles there you are."

"Whatever it is Lily, I'm not keen on hearing it" Chuck said sullenly, annoyed that his stepmother was interrupting. She was the last person he wanted to see right now. "Anything you have to say you should say to my father."

"It's about Bart" Lily said.

"Don't bother. I won't be your advocate and you know it."

"Charles."

Chuck reluctantly stopped, telling himself that she had one minute to say something worthy of his time. After that minute had passed he would bring Blair up to the roof and forget all about his so-called stepmother. He was disappointed with her as it was, and her delaying the moment with Blair he had waited for for so long did not help matters. Blair cast him a glance and then gave Lily and annoyed glare. She was just as eager to leave as Chuck was and whatever Lily had to say she was convinced it could wait.

"I just got a call from the hospital" Lily said. "Bart's been in an accident."

* * *

Blair walked into her bedroom and realized that she was shivering. The room wasn't cold. It must be some lingering shock from what had happened earlier that evening. Everything had happened so fast, she had been thrown from complete happiness to confusion within the space of a few seconds. Bart Bass had been in an accident. And it didn't look good. Once Lily had said the words all thoughts of going up to the roof had vanished from Chuck's mind and he had barely seemed aware that Blair was still there when he followed his stepmother out to the waiting cars. Blair had followed right behind him, eager to go with him to the hospital. In her mind she was already being the loving, supportive girlfriend, letting her maternal instincts run wild with her as she pictured herself being right by Chuck's side until they knew that Bart would be okay. Then she had gotten stuck trying to get her coat from the coat room and when she finally got it Chuck had been gone already. She had run into Serena on her way out and tried to tag along with her but Serena had brushed her aside, clearly feeling this was a family thing and that even with the baby Blair wasn't family enough. Blair had reluctantly decided not to follow them to the hospital, but asked Serena to tell Chuck to call her as soon as he got a chance. After all, this was Grace's grandfather who had been in the accident and Blair should know if things were life threatening or merely crippling.

No word had reached her yet and she put her phone down on the bed before digging out a warm sweater to pull over her head. It turned out to be the Yale sweater from her visit at the campus but she was barely aware of that. She found herself wishing Chuck had left a sweater behind on one of his visits with the baby so that she could have worn that and felt his scent. She hated the turn things had taken and wanted to be as close to him as possible, even if he couldn't physically be there.

She walked over to the crib and looked down at the baby. Grace was awake, and Blair breathed a sigh of relief. She turned the baby monitor off so that her mother, or Dorota, wouldn't overhear and then lifted her baby up into her arms. Holding Grace close felt very comforting and she had a feeling she might start to cry. It all felt so overwhelming. How could things have gone from being so close to finally getting together with Chuck to her going home alone while he rushed off to the hospital?

"Daddy's not with me…" she whispered to the baby. "It's not fair. You know everything I told you about before I left? How I hoped Chuck and I would take that next step and he would follow me home and we could spend the night together? And then tomorrow we would spend the day as a family, the three of us together? You have no idea how close we were, Grace. And all I ended up getting was my lips just barely grazing his for half a second."

She knew she was inane for feeling sorry for herself over something like that when Chuck was at the hospital with his father who may have been seriously injured. Yet she couldn't help it. She had wanted this so much and now she didn't even get to be with Chuck. If she had at least gotten to go with him to the hospital, wait with him for news, hold his hand…

"Your grandpa' Bart has been in an accident, you see" she told her child. "So Daddy had to go be with him. But he'll be okay. He wouldn't go off and die or anything like that when he's got sweet little you in his life. He's going to have to stick around and watch you grow up. I'm sure you have no reason to be worried."

A thought occurred to her, and made her feel a bit better. Hopefully Bart wasn't seriously injured. Even if Bart had only gotten a few bumps and bruises the whole thing had become quite dramatic. Once Chuck left the hospital he would probably not want to be alone. Blair begun to paint a picture in her mind of Chuck coming to see her, even if it was the middle of the night. She would hold him tight, let him tell her what had happened and then usher him to bed. It wouldn't be the kind of night she had had in mind but he would at least spend the night in her bed, and the following day in her company.

Her phone rang. As quickly as she could without upsetting the baby she put Grace down on the bed and grabbed the phone.

"Chuck?"

"Blair it's me" Serena's voice said.

"How's Chuck?" Blair asked. "Where is he?"

"I think the question you should be asking is: '_How is Bart?_'" Serena said. "Although you're not exactly alone in asking your second question" she added with a tired voice.

"Speak sense Serena. Why hasn't Chuck called me? Is he alright?"

"Who knows?" Serena said. "Probably not."

"What do you mean? He's at the hospital, isn't he?"

"He left."

"What? When? To go where?"

"I don't know" Serena said, sounding both tired and annoyed. "B this night has been hell, okay? Please, I don't know where Chuck is. He took off once Mom told him that…"

Her voice trailed off. Blair frowned, glanced over at the baby to make sure she was laying still on the bed, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Once Lily told him what? Serena?"

"Blair Bart's dead. We had to… We had to pull the plug."

"Oh God" Blair said, covering her mouth with her hand for a second. "Poor Chuck. And Grace… Grace's grandfather is..?"

"Yes, he's dead Blair, don't make me say it again." Then Serena sighed. "Look, it's an emotional night to say the least, and even though I might have claimed otherwise I actually liked Bart. I've lost a lot of stepfathers but none of them have ever died on me. I wish Chuck was still here but he took off."

"When?" Blair asked, glancing at the alarm clock on her nightstand.

"What does it matter?"

Blair wanted to know when he had left so she would be able to tell when he might be showing up at her door, but for some reason she didn't want to tell Serena that. She felt herself shivering even more than before and sat down on the bed next to her baby.

"I'm really sorry S" she managed to say.

"So am I. He's your daughter's grandfather."

Blair nodded, but realized Serena couldn't see her. She harked and tried to find the right thing to say.

"Yeah" she finally said, caressing Grace with one hand. "Oh poor baby…"

"B, I should go" Serena said. "Mom and Eric are quite upset and we're all heading home. Maybe Chuck will be there."

"He won't" Blair said. She didn't know for sure where he would go, but he wouldn't go back home.

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"Yeah… Give my condolences to Lily. And Eric."

"Bye Blair."

Blair hung up and put her phone down on the bed. She felt empty, unsure of how to react to the news. She knew it was tragic, but for some reason the feelings that should go with somebody dying weren't connecting. She assumed it was because she was shocked, and felt guilty for how she was still hoping Chuck would come to her. She so wanted to be the person he sought comfort in, but she wondered if he really would do that. Knowing Chuck he might only want the comfort of alcohol and prostitutes right now.

She looked at her daughter and begun to feel sadness welling up inside of her. Blair had liked Bart, despite having a lot of negative things to say about the way he had treated his son. But he had been kind to Blair and he had really embraced his granddaughter in a way she had never expected. She had thought he would find the whole baby business embarrassing but he really seemed to care for Grace from the first day. Now Grace had lost him, just as Chuck had, and even though Bart may very well have turned out to be just as lousy a grandfather as he had been a parent now they would never know. Grace would never get a chance to know him at all and would never remember him.

"I'm so sorry honey…" she said.

Still feeling cold she grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself, feeling miserable to the bone. She just couldn't fathom how things had taken this turn, and could only imagine what Chuck was feeling. In the middle of all of it Blair still couldn't help but think of herself and her feelings for him. If only this had happened later on in the night, or their dance had happened earlier. They would have had time to actually become something, to take the steps that would mean they had gone past the friendship zone. Even if all they would have done was kiss, which seemed tame in comparison to past activities. It would have _meant_ something this time, for both of them, and they wouldn't have been able to deny it later on. As it was now, they had been interrupted before anything crucial could take place. They could each retreat to their corner without acknowledging what had happened during the dance.

"I don't want it to be like that" Blair told the baby. "Please let him come here tonight… If he does then I'll know something real has happened between us. But if he doesn't…"

If only Lily hadn't found them right when she did. Did she also know about Chuck's preference for rooftops? If not then she really ran into them at the worst minute, because they could have had eons of time alone together up there before she would have found them.

Then Blair made a face, feeling disgusted with herself. What was she thinking? True, if Lily hadn't found them when she did they would have gotten time alone together up on the roof. On the other hand Chuck would have lost valuable time with his father in case Bart was really hurt. Even Blair had to admit that being with Bart at a time like that was more important to Chuck than being with her.

Still she had a feeling that Chuck would have been better off if something real had had a chance to happen between them before this news came. If something had begun for real then he would have had her to lean on. Not that he didn't have her anyway but she wasn't so sure he would realize that in his present state. If they had made that move she would probably have been with him at the hospital. She would have followed him when he left. She would have stayed by his side and brought him back here to suffer through the night. She hated the thought of him being all alone tonight, or in the company of hookers or random people at random bars. He didn't need alcohol or sex. He needed a soft and safe place to fall.

She grabbed her phone and attempted to call him but ended up just sitting there staring at her phone. Maybe calling him would be the wrong move. Maybe he would feel cornered or smothered by something like that. Then she decided to take the chance. What was the worst that could happen? He would withdraw from her further? He wasn't there with her and as far as she was concerned that was as bad as things could get between them this night.

She decided to write him a text. She took a minute to figure out exactly how to word it, came to the conclusion that she would never find the right things to say anyway, and quickly wrote and sent him a message.

"_R U OK? I know it's l8 but I'm here if U need anything. Come here if U don't want 2 go home. – B._"

She glanced over at their daughter and wondered if she should add something about Grace. She decided against it and sent the text as it was. Mentioning the baby might not have a positive reaction. He might feel guilt or feel burdened and she didn't want that for him right now. She just wanted to know that he was alright.

She pulled her feet up on the bed and hugged her knees with a sigh. All she could do now was wait.

* * *

Well there you have it. A great many reviewers have asked me if I would kill off Bart or not and now you know. I did like the idea of keeping him alive and letting him be present as Grace grows up. In the end though it seemed like it's more interesting this way. I've written Chuck trying to cope with being a father and with his relationship to his own father with Bart in the picture; now I can take my shot at Chuck trying to cope with fatherhood without having Bart there to help him.

Let me know what you think of my decision and of the chapter in general =) Thanks for reading!


	34. Chapter 34

I believe this update makes this story the longest one I've written. I'm not sure if that is cool or sad ;)

As expected there was a difference of opinion among you readers as to whether or not letting Bart die was a smart move. The effects it has on this story will be somewhat different from what it had on the show though. This chapter also borrows a lot from the show but like with the previous chapter there's a lot of stuff from the show I gloss over. The Scott storyline will be happening in this story too to some degree, but mostly "between the lines" as I'm not planning on doing any Rufus/Lily scenes. Anyway, it feels like I'm rambling and I guess I don't have all that much to say before I let you read the next update, so… read and (hopefully) enjoy!

* * *

Blair dialed Chuck's number and waited. Three rings, then he ignored the call. She was disappointed but not surprised. He hadn't taken a single one of her calls since the night of the ball, one week prior. Grasping for straws she wrote him a text.

"_Chuck, call me, please. We need to talk about Grace._"

It was not really a lie. They did need to talk. Bart's death affected the baby too. And Chuck ought to be there to see her. You couldn't explain to a baby not yet four months old that her father wasn't there because he was too struck with grief to manage to come over. Grace seemed aware that something was wrong and Blair was positive that she was aware of Chuck's absence. They had to find some other solution than Chuck not coming by to see her.

"Still no word from Charles?" Eleanor asked, leaning over to grab the paper sitting in front of Blair.

"None whatsoever" Blair sighed.

She reached up and adjusted her black headband. Today was Bart's funeral and from what Serena had told Blair no one even knew if Chuck was aware of the time and place for the service. He had taken refuge at the Palace and refused to take anybody's call.

"That's a good picture" Eleanor commented, eyeing what the papers were saying about her granddaughter's late grandfather. "Lily should send a 'thank you' note to the photo editor."

"I wish he could at least answer a text" Blair griped, staring at her phone as if to will it into receiving one.

"Are they sure he's even at the Palace?" Eleanor wondered.

"I called and spoke with the manager. He says they keep sending up food so at least there's something alive in that room."

"You know, Dorota ought to bring Grace over to the wake" Eleanor said. "At least for a while. Bart was her grandfather after all."

Blair didn't bother commenting. She looked over at her daughter, sitting in her carry-cot on the table. Cyrus was playing peek-a-boo with a very confused looking Grace but Blair couldn't muster the energy to point out that a baby that age didn't understand the concept of such a game. She didn't think a baby belonged at a wake either though perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea. Perhaps Grace's presence might be helpful to Chuck.

"Dorota" Blair said.

"Yes Miss Blair?" Dorota said, hurrying out from the kitchen.

"Go find something black for Grace to wear. You'll bring her over to the wake."

"Is that appropriate?" Dorota asked, looking skeptical.

"Is questioning me appropriate?" Blair shot back. "Shoo! Go!"

She sighed and scooped capers over the salmon on her bagel.

* * *

Chuck was more than a little drunk when he opened the door. Otherwise he probably wouldn't have answered the knock to begin with. He had been avoiding everyone except hotel staff and his father's private investigator for the past six days. He had begun to get dressed for the funeral before he went out to meet with the PI but wasn't entirely sure he planned on attending. He figured at the very least he could look the part even if he didn't show, as some form of homage to the man they were burying today. Once he had gotten back to his room after his little meeting he had undone half his ensemble and gotten to work with another bottle. He wasn't even sure he was able to leave the room in his present condition, let alone travel to a church and sit upright for the duration of a service. But when he opened the door and saw Blair standing there, prim and proper in her black attire and of course with a matching headband because one couldn't abandon signature looks just because of a funeral, he knew he was going to have to try to attend. Blair would not have shown up for any other reason than to drag him to the church and maybe allowing her to do so would be the simplest choice.

Blair stared at him with worry and sadness in her eyes. She was shocked to see him like this. She had never known him to lose it this way. His eyes were bloodshot and his face puffy, a combination of lack of sleep and too much alcohol. His hair was a mess and didn't look like it had been washed for a few days but at least he had remembered to shave. His shirt was hanging out and his tie was carelessly thrown over his shoulders in a manner that made Blair wonder if he thought he had been putting on a scarf. What upset her the most was the look on his face. He didn't look like he was grieving or like he was angry or upset. He looked like he wasn't even there at all. He just stared at her blankly, almost making her wonder if he even saw her at all. Her arrival had registered zero with him.

"Chuck…" she began carefully.

"Top of the morning" he said in an Irish accent.

Blair frowned. She wondered if she would have the time to usher him in the shower. He smelled like he had emptied the entire suite bar, and it wouldn't surprise her if he actually had.

"Chuck…" she tried. "Are you… How are you doing?"

"Super" he said in monotone. "A burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I have officially disappointed my father for the last time. Then again this also means I'll never make him proud for the first time."

"Chuck" Blair said again and stepped inside the room. "We need to go. We need to get to the church. Arthur is bringing the limo round."

"Yeah…" Chuck mused. "I probably should go. It would be bad form to not make an appearance. As if Bart is even going to know…"

"I don't care if Bart in the afterlife knows that you attended his funeral" Blair said and searched the room for the jacket to go with Chuck's suit. "I care that you will know you attended. Once things start to try and return to normal you would begin to regret it if you weren't there. So you're going."

She didn't get an answer. He just kept standing where she had left him. She found the jacket and brought it over to him and he put it on without arguing. She undid his tie arrangement and he let her fuss over his appearance without saying or doing anything. He didn't know what to say to her. She had called him a hundred times and he hadn't answered a single one of them. She had sent him countless texts and he hadn't responded to any of them. He hadn't even read them. He probably should have kept contact with her if for no other reason than that she was the mother of his child and if there was an emergency with the baby he should at least be reachable. But he knew none of her calls had been about Grace. If something happened to the baby or if she needed anything for the baby she would have sent Dorota over.

Once Blair was done fixing his tie she looked down and noticed his shoes. She kept in a groan and stomped past him to find his coat.

"Come on, let's go" she said once she returned with it. "Can you walk with your shoes like that?"

He looked down and realized something looked funny but he couldn't put his finger to what. He put on the coat Blair handed him and obediently stumbled out into the hallway after her. She closed the door behind them and grabbed a hold of him to support him.

"I know this is difficult" she said. "But you need to be there."

"I'm going, aren't I?"

"We should get you some coffee or something."

"That will just make me have to go to the bathroom."

She said nothing and pressed the elevator button. He wondered why she was there. She must be quite angry with him for having ignored her all week long. Not to mention ignoring the baby. He had practically forgotten Grace even existed, being so caught up in the mess of emotions and the vast amounts of alcohol. He wouldn't blame her one bit if she would chastise him for his behavior but she didn't say anything. Funny how she seemed to yell at him and insult him as if her life depended on it when he was behaving but whenever he screwed up or pushed people away she didn't voice any of the legitimate complaints she must have.

"Have you eaten anything today?" she asked as he stepped on the elevator, swaying to an alarming degree.

He was quiet for so long that she began to think he hadn't heard her question.

"I ate some grapes…"

"At least that's something."

"They had been pressed into liquid form though…"

Blair sighed but didn't comment. They rode down in silence and Blair helped him outside where thankfully Arthur had anticipated Chuck's drunken state and helped her get him in the limo. Once inside Blair got to work with Chuck's shoes and he seemed to sober up just a bit. Hopefully it would be enough to get him through the funeral.

* * *

After the service Chuck found himself back in his limo with Blair. He wasn't feeling any better, in fact it was quite the opposite. Dan Humphrey had been there when he arrived at the church. What possible business did Dan Humphrey think he had attending Chuck's father's funeral? As far as Chuck knew Dan had never even met Bart. But of course Serena had been very indignant that Chuck did not welcome the son of the man who had caused problems in his father's marriage because apparently Serena and Dan version 5,0 or whatever their number was at right now were more important than anything else.

"Don't be mad at Serena" Blair said, as if reading his mind.

"She can screw Humphrey all she wants" Chuck slurred. "God knows her mother likes screwing Humphreys. It's probably genetic. Some defect in their DNA. But bringing him to my father's funeral is unacceptable."

"Serena and Dan are not together. She's seeing my mother's boyfriend's son which is oddly not as twisted as it sounds."

Chuck shrugged. He honestly didn't care much. Serena was out of his life now as far as he was concerned. The fake family had died along with Bart and Chuck had no intention of ever interacting with Lily again after today. He couldn't think of any reasons why he ought to interact with Serena either and he didn't consider it much of a loss.

"Okay" Blair said as the limo pulled over. "You ready for this?"

"Sure" Chuck muttered.

Arthur opened the door for them and made a move to help steady Chuck but he briskly walked past his driver and headed for the doors. Blair was right behind him.

"You know, maybe we should have stopped at the Palace and gotten you somewhat freshened up" she said, realizing that he still smelled of alcohol and the baby would be upstairs at the wake. "Then again at least no one will fault you for being inebriated today."

"Screw them if they do" Chuck mumbled.

They rode up to the apartment mostly in silence. Blair was a bit unsure of what she should do once they got there. On one hand Chuck hadn't pushed her away or seemed to be terribly annoyed by her attempts at taking care of him. On the other she knew not to push him too far. She wanted to find the proper balance between being there for him and giving him space.

"You don't even have to stay that long" she offered.

"You don't have to convince me" Chuck said. "I came willingly didn't I?"

"True, but after what happened at the church I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to be here."

"This is exactly where I want to be" Chuck replied, stepping off the elevator and dropping his coat on the floor for someone on staff to worry about. "I have business to attend to."

"Okay, that's fine" Blair said. "But let's just find you a quiet corner and get some food in your stomach."

"I'm not in the mood for food" Chuck said, grabbing a glass of something alcoholic from a waiter passing by.

He began to slowly walk up the stairs and Blair figured it would be best not to follow. She was really at a loss with what to do. Nate came up to her and she wondered if it was such a good idea that he was there. She didn't know if Chuck would appreciate seeing him or not and he had had enough unwanted attendees for one day.

"Hey" Nate said. "How is he?"

"You know Chuck" Blair sighed.

"I saw you arriving with him at the church. And I see you arrived here with him too. He's not in a very good shape if he needs an usher."

"We just came from burying Bart. You expected him to be just fine?"

"I've never seen Chuck crack" Nate said. "Not to this degree. Our days as friends may be over but that doesn't mean I don't feel for him."

"I should warn you, he might not be in any mood to hear that" Blair said. "You know how he can get."

"You're really sweet with him."

Blair was taken aback.

"Me? Sweet? No."

"Yeah you are. Worrying about him, looking out for him… You really are a mother now."

"I'm not _his_ mother" Blair snarled. The last thing she wanted was for Chuck to think she was only caring for him out of an overload of maternal instincts. "In case you haven't noticed we've had to lean on each other a lot these past months. It's called being supportive."

"I don't think Chuck's going to be much to lean on anytime soon" Nate observed.

Blair scoffed. In all likelihood Nate hadn't meant anything bad with his comment but she took it like an insult. She walked off to find her mother and find out if Dorota had arrived with the baby. She was beginning to regret having asked Dorota to bring her over. In Chuck's present state of mind it was highly doubtful that seeing Grace would do either one of them any good.

"Miss Blair!" Dorota's voice said.

Blair frowned and tried to spot her maid. Then she saw her standing over by the windows with Eleanor and Cyrus, Grace in a babybjörn. Dorota waved and Blair made a face and walked over to her.

"I changed my mind" she said when she reached them. "Grace shouldn't be here."

"Oh nonsense" Eleanor said. "When she's older she might appreciate having attended her grandfather's wake."

"Yeah I'm sure it will mean the world to her that she got to be carried around a room full of dark-clad people at the wake for a man she will never have any memories of" Blair snarled. "Dorota take her home."

"Dorota stay" Eleanor said. "You're going to give Grace whiplash if you keep darting her back and forth all the time."

"Fine" Blair said. "Just… I don't think it's such a good idea for her to be around her father right now. She'll get a contact high within seconds."

"That sermon was surprisingly thought provoking" Cyrus said. "All that stuff about life and death and… our time on earth being so fleeting."

"Darling, it was a funeral" Eleanor chuckled. "What was he supposed to talk about? Stock market?"

"I know, but it just… It makes me realize that time is precious and we shouldn't let it go to waste. We should go after what we want without hesitation."

Blair made a grumpy face and grabbed something to eat. She could really do without comments like that right now.

"I want to get married" Cyrus continued.

Eleanor and Blair froze, both just about to bite down on a piece of pie. Dorota's eyes grew wide but then she grinned.

"Married?" Blair echoed. "You've been going out what, a few months?"

"When it's right it's right!" Cyrus proclaimed. "Why let precious time go to waste?"

"Married?" Eleanor said, blushing happily. "Cyrus, I… I don't know what to say."

"Say yes!"

"Yes" Eleanor said with a huge grin and leaned in to kiss her fiancé of three seconds.

"Would you two stop embarrassing me?" Blair hissed. "People over the age of twenty-five should not kiss in public and nobody should look that happy at a _wake_. Especially not Bart's granddaughter's grandmother."

Eleanor and Cyrus both ignored her and Dorota couldn't conceal a grin either. Blair rolled her eyes and didn't even pretend to be excited for her mother. She couldn't take the time to decide how she felt about getting a stepfather when everything else was chaos around her. She wondered how long Chuck would be upstairs and if she should go looking for him if he hadn't come back down after half an hour.

* * *

Chuck got Bart's safe open and grabbed a stack of documents. He staggered over to the desk and put the folders down and had just begun to rummage through them when a voice interrupted him.

"If you're looking for Bart's will," Lily said, "you don't have to worry."

"I'm not" Chuck snarled. He could care less about the will. No matter what his relationship with Bart had been he knew his father wouldn't leave him high and dry. "But you should be. I'm going to find your file."

"Well it's not here so you can stop ransacking the place and look at me."

Chuck stopped searching through the folders but didn't turn around. Lily was the last person he wanted to see. After he saw her with Rufus Humphrey at the ball he had made the decision to call Bart. On one hand he felt sorry for his father for having to know his wife was a cheating bitch when he died. On the other he didn't think Lily deserved to have had Bart think of her as anything other than what she was. He had suspected for a while that something was wrong between his father and stepmother but he had been spending so much time with Blair and the baby that he hadn't given it too much thought. Now that Bart was gone he felt a strong loyalty to him and as an effect a strong hatred for the woman who had betrayed him.

"I can't look at you Lily" he said. "You disgust me."

"Charles" Lily said firmly.

"Disrespecting your marriage. Betraying my father with Rufus Humphrey."

"I did no such thing" Lily claimed, which only served to make Chuck angrier.

"He was coming to fight for you. Talk about dying for nothing."

"The only reason he got in that car is because you called him" Lily said.

Chuck flinched. As if he hadn't had that thought himself. As if he hadn't been going back and forth between blaming her and blaming himself. But her saying it caught him by surprise, which irritated him. He should have expected something like that from a woman like her.

"If you could have just stayed out of it" Lily complained. "But you couldn't, could you? Because… you're just like him. You have to know everything, control everyone, trust no one."

"You're saying this is my fault?"

"No it's no one's fault" Lily said.

Chuck spun around, tired of her and her lame attempts at sounding sage and wise. Did she really think she could pull the wool over his eyes?

"Yes it is, it's your fault" he said. "His blood is on your hands."

The next thing he knew Lily slapped him across the face. It didn't really hurt, in fact it cleared his head a bit. What did hurt however was her treating him like an insubordinate child. It added to the list of the reasons why he wanted her out of his life as fast as possible.

"I'm so sorry" she gasped, clearly more surprised by her own actions than he was.

"As soon as that will is read and I get my money… you will never see me again."

He began to head for the door but her voice stopped him.

"Charles. This is not a time for us to all run off in separate directions. Your father would not have-"

"Do not presume to tell me what he would have wanted" Chuck snarled. "You never had the faintest idea what he wanted. He lost my mother and he stayed single for sixteen years, getting remarried was a big deal to him. But all you ever saw was his money, wasn't it?"

"That is not-"

"And spare me your words of wisdom. I'm a better parent than you are and I'm a better person. You ruined my father. I don't want you anywhere near me."

He walked out of the room and headed for the stairs. Knowing that the file he was looking for wasn't there he had no further reason to stay. Anyone who expected him to be polite to the guests could go to hell. He had no reason to stay. With his father dead none of it mattered.

He headed down the stairs and was instantly approached by Blair who was holding Grace. He wondered where the baby had come from but was in no mood and certainly no condition to be around an infant right now.

"Coat" he ordered the servant standing by the closet.

"Chuck?" Blair said.

"Chuck!" Nate chimed in.

Chuck stopped and frowned. Where had Nate come from? Wasn't his day bad enough without Nate showing up?

"Got to go" he said. "Can't talk."

"Go where?" Blair asked. "Everyone you know is standing in this room."

"I don't want to be here."

"Look man, why don't you take a seat and have some food?" Nate suggested. "You could eat in your room."

"I don't recall appointing you my personal caterer" Chuck muttered.

"I'm really sorry about Bart" Nate offered.

"What do you even care?"

"Come on" Nate said. "I spent a lot of time here growing up. And just because you and I stopped being friends that doesn't mean I don't know what this must be doing to you."

"How empathetic. But you don't know the first thing about me Archibald so just leave me the hell alone."

He grabbed his coat and got on the elevator to leave. Blair made a move to follow but Nate stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Hey, hey, hey. Just let him go."

"No!" Blair said. "Here, look after Grace for me." She handed him the baby and hurried to the elevator. "Or on second thought give her to Dorota!"

The elevator doors closed before she could get on and she pressed the button several times, feeling her frustration grow. She couldn't let Chuck leave like this. As soon as the elevator came back up she got on it and she took off running the moment the elevator doors opened down in the lobby. Thankfully he hadn't yet reached his car by the time she got outside. She called his name and got no reaction until she told him to stop. He stopped right by the limo and turned to look at her, still with the same kind of dead eyes that had been frightening her all day. She wished he would at least look devastated. It would hurt to see him like that but at least that was something you could come back from. This emotionless expression made her worry that he was checking out on them completely.

"Don't go" she said. "Or if you have to leave… let me come with you."

"I appreciate your concern" he said and opened the car door. "But you should stick to mothering your baby."

"You don't appreciate my concern" Blair said. "You don't appreciate anything today. But I don't care. I want to help you. Just… just let me be there for you."

"I don't need you to mother me" he repeated. "And you're not my girlfriend."

"But I am your baby's mother. And I'm your friend. More than just your friend." She stepped closer and took his hand. "We're together in this. And you've been there for me so many times this past year. I won't let you run away. I won't let you walk out. Wherever you're going I'm going there with you."

"Why do you even care what I do?"

"Because I need you. Grace needs you."

"No" he said, pulling his hand back. "You don't."

"I do. This is me, Chuck. This is us."

"There is no us. When are you going to get it? I can't be what you want me to be. I can't be what you need me to be."

"I can be what you need me to be" Blair said.

"No" he said. "No you can't."

He got in the car and it drove off. Blair stood there in the cold December afternoon and watched him go. She felt something cold on her cheeks and realized she was crying. After a few minutes she turned around and walked back inside. She made it up to the penthouse where Nate was still standing where she had left him, still with Grace in his arms.

"What happened?" he asked.

Blair took the baby back without responding. She walked off to Serena's room to get some privacy and held the baby close while she cried. Grace began to cry too but Blair didn't try to comfort her. She knew the baby was most likely reacting to her mother's sadness. She closed the door behind her and sat down on the bed, rocking slowly back and forth while she and Grace cried.

* * *

The next day Blair sat desolate on her bed, having nothing to do with her time and no interest in doing much anyway. Her mind kept going back to what had happened yesterday, the things she and Chuck had said to each other. She went back and forth between wondering how he was doing and feeling humiliated that she had been shot down like that. On top of it all Grace was being fussy and didn't want to nurse. Blair refused to feed her with a bottle but if this kept up someone would have to do it. Grace hadn't had much to eat all day and it frustrated Blair to no end. Up until now her baby had always had a healthy appetite and their nursing technique had been very good.

She sighed and glanced down at the cranky baby lying on a blanket on the bedspread next to her.

"What is with you today?" she asked for the twentieth time. "Why won't you eat? Don't I have enough troubles right now without having to start worrying that my daughter no longer wants to be breastfed?"

There was a knock on the door and Blair sighed and told whoever it was to enter. She wasn't in the mood for company and hoped whoever it was would go away as soon as possible. It turned out to be Cyrus who looked at her with worried eyes.

"Blair? May I come in?"

"Sure" Blair sighed.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Bad" Blair said. She sighed. "Everything is messed up."

"I've noticed your melancholy ever since the wake" Cyrus said. "Before the wake you were sad for Grace's loss but you weren't this gloomy. Which leads me to believe something else has happened. I know this engagement between my mother and you has come rather sudden."

"It's not that" Blair said, eyes on the baby. She was feeling sad and vulnerable and didn't want to talk about it. If she had to talk she didn't think she could look at Cyrus or she might start crying. "I'm happy for you. I am, really."

"I hope so" Cyrus said. "I love your mother very much."

"I know."

"And I love you. And your little girl."

"I know" Blair said with a tremble.

"Blair… Is there anything you… want to talk about?"

"I think I'm in love with Chuck" Blair said, bursting into tears.

"That's wonderful" Cyrus thought.

"No it's not" Blair sniveled. "I was beginning to think that it could be but… he's just as selfish and soulless as ever. He hasn't even been by to see his daughter this past week. Hasn't called and asked about her. Nothing. Only a masochist could ever fall in love with such a narcissist. I'm worried he really is going to turn out to be as bad a parent as Bart. I don't want that for Grace. She deserves more."

"You don't need to be concerned" Cyrus said compassionately. "He just needs time. He's going through a lot right now. And he'll be here for Grace as soon as he can. He probably just doesn't want her to see him like this. Grace is doing fine and she'll continue to be fine."

"She's not fine" Blair sobbed. "I can't get her to nurse. I've never had a problem nursing her before. What if she's sick? Babies don't just stop nursing for no reason."

"She knows you're sad. And she knows her father's sad."

"Babies aren't that smart."

"They pick up on more than you might think. You're under a lot of stress. Maybe she just doesn't feel calm and comfortable enough to eat."

"What should I do?" Blair asked.

"Let it take time" Cyrus said. "Let both of them take the time they need. Chuck will come around and Grace will nurse. Just trust that things will work out and don't try and force anything. Everything will be okay."

Blair nodded and looked up at him with a hint of a smile.

"Thank you."

"Any time."

"I'm glad Grace is gaining you for a step-grandfather now that she's lost her paternal one" Blair said.

Cyrus smiled at her and then left the room. Blair did her best to wipe her tears and tried to take his advice to heart but it was difficult. Patience had never been one of her stronger suits and it was especially difficult to be patient with Grace right now when every failed attempt at nursing her made her worry even more that her baby was sick. True this problem had started last night but if the infant was sick then she didn't want to waste another moment.

Grace went from fussy to crying and Blair lifted her up and tried to comfort her. She held the baby with one hand and unbuttoned her blouse with the other.

"Please baby, won't you eat?" she pleaded.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and counted to ten slowly to try and slow down her heart rate. If Cyrus was right and the baby was reacting to her stress then she could at least try to remedy that. She got Grace to latch on but the baby let go again after only a few seconds. This was repeated a few times and Blair had to fight to stay calm.

"It's okay precious, just eat" she said as calmly as she could. "I know the world has gone crazy for you but it will be okay."

She started to sing "_Moon River_" in the hopes that it would have a soothing effect. She stroke the baby's hair gently and after a while Grace finally seemed to decide she was ready to eat. Blair sighed with relief when she felt the baby begin to nurse.

* * *

It had been at least forty hours now since he had eaten anything but he wasn't feeling hungry. He had known Lily had some secret but he hadn't known what it was. He had expected it to be connected to Rufus Humphrey but not like this. He despised her for having kept such a secret. His father had deserved to know. Especially now that Lily had been gallivanting around with Humphrey. It almost surprised him that he had been able to hate her more than he did before. For a few days he had been somewhat aware that she didn't deserve _all_ the hatred he was aiming at her, that she was the target of all his negative emotions right now whether or not they actually had anything to do with her. But after finding out about her secret he no longer doubted that she deserved every ounce of hate he had. He couldn't even muster up any bit of appreciation for her decision to make her secret known. It was too little too late.

He sat on the couch and watched her come down the stairs, skipping far too lightly in his opinion. She clearly couldn't even be bothered to pretend to be the grieving widow. His father had deserved so much better than this.

"I just can't believe you would want this to become public knowledge" he said, waving the document in his hand.

"What is that?" Lily asked, walking over to him.

"Oh it is exactly what you think it is."

He could see the wheels turning in her head. He enjoyed having such a clear upper hand on her. She had no idea who she was up against. He was his father's son but unlike Bart he had never had anyone who cared enough about him to try to install some warmth into him. Bart had had limits and boundaries. Chuck did not. He could crush Lily like a bug without giving a damn and she was probably beginning to realize that.

"But my mother-"

"Lied to you. And to Mr. Tyler. Judging by the look on your face I'm guessing it wasn't your idea to come clean."

"Why on earth would she do this?" Lily complained.

"I don't know" Chuck said, disinterested in her self-pity. Secretly he enjoyed the realization that her mother had turned against her. "But the next time you see her I'd ask. Until then I'm more than happy to further her agenda."

"Charles…" Lily began.

Chuck looked away. Here came the pleading. The attempt to appeal to his good side, his decency or kindness. Little did she know he had none of that. Bart had never bothered to teach him that those things were important and with his father gone he no longer cared how people viewed him. He would rather be feared than disrespected. She would not be able to fool him the way she had fooled Bart.

"I beg you" she continued. "Please don't turn away from the people that love you. They're the only chance any of us has. And your father never learned that. I hope that you do."

After that she walked away. He stared at the piece of paper in his hand and admitted to himself that she had surprised him. He had expected her to beg or threaten or demand. Clearly she didn't want the information about the child she gave up to become public knowledge. Maybe her man-whore Humphrey didn't even know about the kid. He couldn't understand why she had made some bogus flower power "love solves everything" statement and just walked away.

She was wrong. Even if she wasn't, who would he have to turn to? There was no one left who loved him, if there ever had been anyone who did. He felt miserable, wanted to run to his daddy and crawl up on his knee and be comforted by him, the way he had done back when he was a very small child and Bart didn't outright hate him.

There was no one to run to. He would never see Bart again or hear his voice. When he was little Chuck had found his father's voice comforting. It was calm and soothing and full of authority, it could protect him from anything bad. But for years now Bart's voice had mostly been directing chastises at him and his tone had almost always been disappointed. They could never mend that relationship. He could never make his father proud of him or prove to him that he was not weak. Maybe he never would have been able to prove that. He had run away when they were going to pull the plug. He had been too weak to handle it.

He stood up and walked over to the fireplace. His anger towards Lily had dimmed somewhat. He was tired of hating and being angry. The sadness and emptiness he had been fighting off with alcohol and hatred for the past week began to well up inside him.

He leaned closer to the fire and let the document catch a flame. He held it while it began to burn and then put it in a holder to let it burn out. Lily could keep her secret. It didn't matter anyway. He wouldn't feel better for exposing it.

Her words came back to him. Don't turn away from the people that love you. Were there any such people? What about the people he loved? The only one still speaking to him was Blair, if she even was speaking to him now. Maybe he had finally managed to drive her away after what happened out by the limo. How much crap could she take? How long before she withdrew and decided to cut him out of her life, to not waste another moment or emotion on him when the baby needed all of it. Especially since he hadn't even asked about Grace in the past week.

His grief kept welling up inside him, stronger by the minute. He wouldn't be able to keep it at bay any longer and he didn't want to be alone when it really hit. Grieving his father all by himself would really drive the point home that he was alone. But where could he go? There was no one. He had successfully pushed everyone in his life away. The only person left was Eric and he couldn't go to him. It would be far too humiliating to fall apart in front of the young boy who looked up to him. He would just have to suffer through this on his own.

* * *

Blair did her best to fake a smile and seem excited while they ate dinner. It was a celebratory dinner, which seemed horribly inappropriate given that a family member had just lost her grandfather. Cyrus had said something about how life must triumph over death and joy over sorrow and had somehow managed to not make it sound trite so Blair had decided to just play along and smile for them while they celebrated their engagement.

She barely felt the taste of the food she ate. She had a strong desire to take a page from her daughter's book and simply refuse to eat but she didn't want to have to deal with everything that would come with that. Besides, Grace had nursed twice by now and that was at least one good sign.

By the time dessert was brought in her mother and Cyrus had cranked open a second bottle of champagne and were getting ready to toast yet again. Tactless, Blair thought. Before she had to raise her glass once more Dorota came and tapped her on the shoulder, whispering in her ear that Mister Chuck was here, in her room.

She hesitated for a moment. What did he mean by showing up like this? What made him think he was even welcome after his behavior? But she couldn't ignore him.

"Excuse me for a second" she said to Cyrus and her mother. Neither one seemed to even hear her or notice that she was leaving.

She followed Dorota to the stairs but walked up alone. With each step her anger built. She would give him a piece of her mind. Grieving was no excuse to be mean to her and to ignore their child. Who did he think he was? He could get the hell out and stay away. Either he wanted to be a parent to Grace and have a connection to Blair or he didn't. He couldn't just pick and choose when he wanted to be in their lives.

She stomped inside her room, brimming with anger and ready to unleash it all on him. He was sitting on her bed facing the chair she nursed in. The sight of his back made her even angrier for some reason.

"What do you think you're doing here?" she began.

He slowly turned his head towards her and she stopped. His eyes were still bloodshot, his face still puffy, but not from alcohol or lack of sleep. He was crying. Chuck Bass was on her bed, crying. The sight absolutely terrified her even though she had been wishing he would let his sorrow out and cry like a normal person. She hadn't expected to be this affected by seeing him unravel. His eyes pleaded her in silence, asking for exactly what she had been aching to offer. A safe place to fall, a haven to grieve in.

She had to stop looking at his face. She couldn't bear that sight a second more. In a few short steps she was with him on the bed, cradling him from behind, allowing herself to be spared the look on his face and the sight of his tears and allowing him the freedom to cry without a watching audience. Her one hand pulled him back towards her, her other hand gently rubbed his arm to offer some comfort. His hand reached up and grabbed her bare arm and she felt his tears wet her skin. Slowly his hand moved further down her arm and landed on her hand. Her other hand reached up and clasped it. He squeezed her hand hard and she could feel his whole body shake. She had never in her life known him to cry, not ever, no matter what crap he was put through or how badly he had hurt himself playing. She had wanted nothing more these past days than to be the one he would turn to and now that he did it frightened her. She had never seen this side of Chuck before, never given any thought to its existence. There were no walls up, no fight left in him, no attempts at keeping pride or dignity intact. It was just him, raw.

Holding him close she wondered if maybe she wasn't in love with him after all. Maybe she was far beyond that. Maybe she loved him, really loved him, that feeling that was so much deeper than being _in_ love with someone. She knew he kept his walls up to protect himself because he feared nobody would care enough about him if they saw the real him. This was the real him she was holding in her arms now and she had never cared about him more.

After a while she began to gently rock him back and forth. He was still shaking with sobs but she did nothing to try and dry his tears. The more he let out now the better he would feel later on. She felt a few tears of her own falling down her cheeks. She thought about his relationship with the man they had buried yesterday and felt terribly sorry for how it had never gotten to get any better. She knew Bart had loved Chuck, she had seen it and she had felt it. She also knew Chuck probably hadn't seen what she had seen.

"It's okay…" she whispered soothingly.

He slowly shook his head. She said nothing else. He didn't need her to find comforting words, he just needed someone to care about him. She sat there with him on the bed until he was ready to get up. Slowly, shakily, he untangled from her and made an effort to stand. The moment he did his head started spinning and he staggered a bit. Blair was on her feet instantly, putting an arm around him to steady him.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

"Yeah just… dizzy."

"When was the last time you ate anything?"

"I don't need food, I… Could you get me… some water?"

She leaned in and kissed his forehead before gently sitting him back down. She then picked up the empty glass on her bedside table and walked to the bathroom to fill it up. When she got back out Chuck was sitting where she had left him, staring at her wall without seeing anything, but he didn't seem gone like he had earlier. She walked up and put a gentle hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at her.

"Here" she said.

"Thank you" he whispered and took the glass.

She sat down next to him and lovingly ran her hand through his hair while he drank. He took his time with the water and she kept letting her fingers play with his hair. Her free hand landed on his thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze. When he was done drinking he put the glass down on the nightstand and sighed heavily, closing his eyes.

"I feel like…" he began but wasn't able to put his feelings into words.

"Yeah…" she whispered.

He turned and looked at her, still with the same miserable eyes. His hand reached up and caressed her cheek. Before she knew it he had leaned closer and his lips were on hers, kissing her feverishly. He kissed her so hard it hurt a little and she found herself leaning away but the next second she was responding to his kiss with all her might. His arms wrapped around her and she wrapped hers around him in return. He wasn't sure why he was kissing her. He couldn't think of anything to say that would describe his gratitude to her or his desperate dependence on her right now. Kissing her seemed to say it all and he hoped she understood.

It only lasted for a few seconds, then his mouth left hers and he buried his face at the crook of her neck, new tears falling down his cheeks. Blair kept her arms wrapped around him and let him cry for as long as he needed to.

"My father's dead…" he mumbled against her shoulder. "He's really gone."

"I know" Blair whispered. "It sucks."

"The last conversation I had with him was just… pure crap."

She had nothing to say to that. She gently rubbed his back and let him cry. After a while he groaned and leaned back a bit, pulling away from her embrace. He still looked dizzy and Blair watched him with worry.

"I'm just gonna… I've just got to… I'm going to lay down for just a moment" he said.

"Okay" she nodded. "Go ahead."

He moved further back on her bed and lifted his feet up. Blair scooted even further back and stretched out on her side next to him. He had rolled over on his side, facing away from her. She wrapped an arm across his waist and watched over him as he drifted off to sleep. It was the first peaceful slumber he had had since his father died.

* * *

Chuck didn't sleep for long. He woke up after only an hour, feeling Blair's hot breath on the back of his neck. At first he wasn't even sure where he was. He had never been in her room in complete darkness before. He was glad he couldn't see her, and that she couldn't see his face. He felt too ashamed.

He heard a noise and lifted his head from the pillows. The baby. Had she been here the whole time?

Carefully he got up and walked over to the crib. He didn't want Blair to have to wake up. She deserved her sleep. She had been getting far too little of it as it was in the past couple of months, by extension thanks to Chuck, and tonight she deserved her rest more than ever.

The baby was awake, fidgeting, not too happy. He leaned down and picked her up. She protested a little so he walked out of the room to see if anyone was still around downstairs who could take her. But everything was dark. It appeared to be the middle of the night.

"Guess you're stuck with me" he mumbled. "I shouldn't even be holding you right now. I'm not exactly stabile… or entirely sober."

He walked around with her for a few minutes and she actually seemed to quiet down. She didn't seem hungry or in need of a diaper change. She was just seeking attention. She seemed to know that something wasn't quite right, or perhaps she just didn't appreciate being held by someone who probably didn't smell all that well. But at least she was quiet now. She wouldn't wake anybody else in the house up.

He walked back upstairs with her, realizing it was time to go. He couldn't stay here and be yet another burden for Blair to bear.

"Do you think she will forgive me?" he asked the baby in a whisper. "I hope she doesn't know I'm leaving because I love her. She's better off thinking she doesn't matter to me."

He walked back inside Blair's bedroom and studied her sleeping form. He really did love her. More than he had ever expected he was capable of. She had given him so much already. She had taken care of him tonight and comforted him the way he assumed she comforted their daughter. The daughter she had given him.

He walked to the crib, studying Grace.

"This is for you too" he said. "See the worst part is…"

He sighed and studied her closely. He felt complete indifference. He was just empty and exhausted and grieving, and the little child registered zero to him at the moment. He didn't feel connected or related to her at all.

"The worst part is you would grow to love me, no matter how awful a father I turned out to be" he whispered. "Because I love Bart. And damn it all to hell, I miss him. It kills me to love my father when he never felt more for me than I do for you at this moment. Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally but my father never did, and I can't. You shouldn't have to grow up and grow to love me and experience the kind of crap I've lived with. You're better than that and you deserve more than that."

He put her back down in her crib and reached for the stuffed animal sitting by her feet to move it from the crib, deciding it wasn't worth the risk of having plushies in her bed and adding the baby dying of SIDS to Blair's list of troubles. He stopped himself halfway there. It was the penguin Bart had given Grace the day after her birth.

Feeling panic rising in his throat he grabbed the plushie, squeezed it hard and then tossed it on the armchair Blair sat in while she nursed. He knew he had only two options right now. The one he wanted to go with was to wake Blair up and find solace and peace of mind in her embrace. But that would make what he knew he had to do nearly impossible. So he went with option number two.

He glanced at the penguin one more time and then went over to Blair's writing desk where he quickly scribbled a note and placed it on the pillow where he had been resting his head. He then pulled the bedspread up over Blair to keep her from getting cold. He leaned in and softly kissed her cheek.

"Thank you…" he whispered. "Forgive me."

He cast one last long, longing look at her and then he walked out of the room as quietly as possible, praying that nobody would wake up and run into him before he could leave. It was better if he just disappeared into the night.

When Blair woke up half an hour later she immediately noticed that he was gone. She sat up, wondering if he had gone to the bathroom or maybe if he had taken Grace to another room if she had been fussy. Then she saw the note he had left.

She sat up and lifted the note up to read it, feeling a chill run down her spine and a cold hand grip her heart.

"_I'm sorry for everything. You and Grace deserve much better. Don't come looking for me. – Chuck._"

Feeling panic rising in her throat she tossed aside the bedspread, wondering at the back of her mind when she had pulled it over herself, and hurried out of the room. Perhaps it was the bed getting colder without him in it that had woke her up. Perhaps it was some noise from downstairs, some noise he was making on his way out. Maybe she could catch him before he had a chance to leave.

She ran down the stairs and almost made it to the elevator before she realized there was no point. He was long gone. She was alone in the dark room. Wrapping her arms around herself she burst out crying and slowly walked back to the steps. She sat down and buried her face in her hands.

* * *

Judging by the reviews I got for the last chapter I'm going to guess a lot of you won't be happy with me keeping the Chuck-leaves storyline. All I really have to say for myself is that I didn't keep it for the sake of drama, I do have a purpose with it which is different from what they did on the show. What that purpose is you will find out in the next update. Until then, tell me what you thought of this chapter!


	35. Chapter 35

I don't have much of an introduction to this chapter. But I would like to thank my reviewers for having faith in me =) Several of you said you didn't like the fact that Chuck left but you're interested to see where the story will go. Hope I won't end up disappointing you.

* * *

Blair walked slowly down the stairs, reminding herself to put a smile on her face. Downstairs everyone was happy, or rather _merry_, and Blair knew her mother and future stepfather were making a big deal out of this being their first Christmas as a family. Decorations were everywhere, candles were lit, Christmas music filled the room at just the right volume so that you could get moved by the music yet still carry on a conversation. The tree had been decorated and everyone seemed to have agreed that it was unusually beautiful this year, and the smell of food was coming from the kitchen. It would have been the perfect setting for Christmas, but Blair couldn't get in the mood.

She hadn't heard a word from Chuck since the day after Bart's funeral. It had been less than a week since then, but she kept waiting for him to call, or text, or send an e-mail. Some form of sign that he was alive and that he was thinking about his child on her first Christmas. But there had been nothing yet, only dead silence. Blair was far too worried about him to be able to relax and enjoy Christmas. Not to mention the fact that none of the various versions she had dreamed up for Grace's first Christmas would be coming true. There were many different variations to how she had thought it would go, but all of them included Chuck. Most of them included she and Chuck getting a brand new relationship for Christmas. Instead she had no idea where he was, and he would be missing out on everything from his daughter's first holiday celebration.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and at the last second remembered to fake a smile. Eleanor came over to her with a big smile and a glass of eggnog in her hand, which she handed to Blair.

"Happy Christmas darling" she said.

"I can't have eggnog Mother, I'm nursing" Blair reminded her.

"Oh, right" Eleanor said, and shook her head before taking the glass back. "Well one glass of eggnog is not going to hurt you, but if you want to be overly careful about it then Dorota can get you a nice glass of orange juice instead."

"Great" Blair said without a trace of enthusiasm.

"Blair!" Cyrus exclaimed, coming over as well, giving her a big hug. "Isn't this just the perfect Christmas celebration?"

"Yeah…" Blair said unconvincingly and looked around the room.

Cyrus nodded slightly and cast a glance at Eleanor's retreating figure before turning back to his future stepdaughter.

"You're worrying about him, aren't you?" he said.

"It's not that" Blair lied. "I'm just surprised that Jewish people even celebrate this holiday. That's all."

"I don't care much for the whole decorated tree thing and all of that" Cyrus admitted. "But good food, great spirits, getting the whole family together… Who cares if it's for a Christian holiday or a Jewish one or a Greek one?"

Blair mustered half a smile. Cyrus gave her a sympathetic look. She was glad that he was there, that he had opted for spending the holidays celebrating Christmas with them rather than Chanukah with Aaron, and she was a touch relieved that there wouldn't be a combination of the two holidays. She didn't mind it much in theory, but this was her baby's first Christmas and she had wanted it to be a _real_ Christmas. Of course, a _real_ Christmas would not include the baby's grandfather having just died and the father being MIA.

"Where's the baby?" she asked Cyrus.

"Last I saw her Dorota had her."

Blair nodded and mustered another faint smile before going to find Dorota.

"Miss Blair, baby been waiting for you" Dorota said with a big smile when Blair found her. "Is Christmas, she wants to be with Mama."

"Too bad that's all the parenting she's going to get" Blair said sadly and lifted Grace over to her own embrace.

"Still no word from Mister Chuck?"

"Not so much as an updated facebook status" Blair sighed.

"Maybe he is somewhere with no phone reception" Dorota offered.

"Like where, the deep jungle or a mountain top?" Blair said sullenly. "Outer space?"

"Christmas not over yet. He might still call."

"That would be a Christmas miracle…" Blair sighed.

She walked over to the divan and sat down, almost wishing Grace would start to cry so she would have a valid excuse to leave the merriment for a while and go upstairs. She would much rather just sit around in her room with Grace than spend time down here. She was both bored and edgy at the same time, wishing for something to do but too preoccupied to be able to concentrate on doing anything. Her mother had suggested they leave Grace with Dorota for a few hours and go out ice-skating but Blair had declined. She didn't want to leave Grace for very long. At least one of her parents should be with her as much as possible this Christmas.

* * *

That evening, after dinner and socializing, Blair walked around downstairs with the baby. The others had gone out to have even more eggnog with friends of the family but Blair hadn't felt up to it. She walked around with the baby in her arms, talking to her and pointing out various ornaments.

"See this snowflake?" she said, pointing to a less-than-pristine looking paper snowflake covered in glitter. "I made this at school when I was nine. It's ugly and unflattering but Daddy always insisted on hanging it up every year."

The thought of her father made her feel even less in the Christmas mood. Harold had decided not to come to New York for the holidays since Eleanor had just gotten engaged and they both seemed to love the excuse of letting the newly betrothed couple have their first holiday season in peace without the presence of ex-husbands, however gay they might be. This was the first Christmas Blair had ever spent without her father and it contributed to the feeling that everything was just wrong this year.

"I'm sorry your first Christmas is a train-wreck" she told the baby. "Thank goodness you're too little to know the difference. Next year will be better, I promise."

She reached out her hand and let her fingers graze an ornament in the tree. A red ornament with silver snowflakes which Harold had given her in her stocking when she was seven. She had always loved it, even though it was fairly generic, and always insisted on hanging it in the tree herself.

"I really miss Daddy" she sighed. "You can relate to that, can't you Grace? I miss my father and you miss yours." She kissed the top of the baby's head. "I miss your father too. Why did all of this crap have to happen? Why now? Haven't we had enough going on in one year? A year ago today I didn't even know that I was pregnant with you."

Grace reached out her hand and tried to grab a twig from the tree. Blair took a step back. They always had a real spruce tree and she didn't want the baby to prick her finger. She realized that she hated the fact that everything looked just like it should this Christmas. It almost felt like a mockery.

"This is the worst Christmas ever" she complained. "It should be the _best_ ever. But I promise you Grace, next year we'll make it better. This one doesn't really count anyway, right? I mean, you're too little to know what's going on around you. Which is really fortunate, because your first Christmas should not include feeling abandoned by your father."

She walked from the tree to the fireplace and studied the stockings. There was a brand new one hanging right next to Blair's. A forest green stocking with silver snowflakes on it and the name Grace embroidered.

"Look Grace" she said. "Your stocking. You've been a very good girl this year so you're getting presents and not coal. We're going to get you a bigger stocking when you're older and can pick one out yourself. But this one's pretty, isn't it? Yeah… And look, it's got snowflakes. Lots of snowflakes all around, huh?"

Seeing the stocking was depressing. Blair had bought two new stockings in early December, one for Grace and one for Chuck, hoping he would want to come by on Christmas morning and be part of Grace's first Christmas. She hadn't even hung his stocking up. He disappeared before she had gotten around to it.

"Nothing ever seems to be going the way I imagined them" Blair complained to Grace with a sigh. "I was going to have children at twenty-five, with Nate. Then you came along and after you were born the new plan was to create a family with Chuck. You, me and him. I never thought it possible but what I feel for him is stronger than anything I ever felt for Nate. Clearly some greater power is taking great pleasure in crushing all of my dreams."

She sat down on the couch facing the fireplace, cradling Grace in her arms. Then she decided she couldn't just sit around like this. She would go crazy if she did. She moved Grace and gently placed her against a pair of decorative pillows sitting on the couch. Then she grabbed the little Santa hat Dorota had bought which Blair had deemed hideous. She placed it on Grace's head and took a step back to take a picture with her phone. Then she wrote a message to Chuck and sent it along with the picture, hoping he would at least read it.

"_Wherever you are… I miss you._"

She didn't add any wishes for a happy Christmas. She knew he wouldn't have one and even implying that he could seemed like something that would only piss him off.

"Okay Grace, things are getting just a little too gloomy around here" she then said, trying her best to sound upbeat. She lifted her daughter up and tossed the hat on the couch. "What do you say we go give you a bath, huh? We want to look nice tomorrow when Santa comes, don't we? And your hair really does need washing after having had that hat on."

She kissed the baby on the cheek and walked upstairs with her. Thank goodness she at least had Grace to take her mind off things.

While she gave her daughter a bath she thought about Chuck and wondered again if he really would be capable of missing Grace's first Christmas. The holiday season had never meant much to him, she knew that, but it was still Christmas. Her mind began to wander and before she knew it she had concocted another fantasy of how things could play out. Maybe Chuck would show up that night, having come to his senses and decided to return to New York and surprise Blair and the baby. Perhaps when she woke up in the morning he would be sleeping next to her in the bed, having snuck in during the small hours of the morning. She realised the idea was probably preposterous, if nothing else then who would just sneak into someone's bed while they were sleeping when you weren't in a relationship? Still she allowed herself to daydream and it made her feel a little better.

When she woke up the following morning alone in her bed she felt even worse. Then she put her game face on and got up, determined to make this Christmas a good one for the baby.

* * *

Blair spent the remainder of the holiday cooped up at home with the baby. She did her best to make Christmas Day cheerful and so did her mother, Cyrus and Dorota, but nothing could change the fact that her Christmas was ruined. Her presents did nothing to cheer her up, but she did get some happy moments thanks to the baby. She had had Grace on her lap while they opened gifts and the baby was immensely fascinated by the wrapping paper and the strings. Eleanor had bought her eight different toys and she ignored every single one of them in favor of the strings and paper. Cyrus had placed a tiny little headband with reindeer antlers on the baby's head and Blair had not been able to stop laughing at how the baby had looked, all excited about the wrapping paper and with those antlers on her head.

That evening Blair had meticulously sorted through the new clothes Grace had been given and folded each one perfectly, dragging it out for as long as she possibly could. When she was done and had put everything neatly away she picked Grace up from the crib and sat with her on the armchair, singing Christmas songs to her. Chuck hadn't replied to the text she had sent the day before. She was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to get back to her. She wondered if he even knew it was Christmas.

The following days she spent every waking moment with Grace. Now that she didn't have school for a few days and there was no Bart to demand that Grace spend time with the Basses, and for that matter no Basses for her to spend any time with, she could spend as much time with the little one as she wanted. She enjoyed having no other obligations and nothing to interfere with her time with her child and made sure to make the most of it. But it drove her crazy that Chuck hadn't sent so much as a text. She knew how his mind worked and she knew his defense strategies but these were not normal circumstances. It just seemed backwards to her that he would run off and mourn the loss of his father and thereby completely neglect his own paternal duties. But there was no point in trying to find logic in his actions right now. He was out of his mind at present, she knew that. She had seen it. She just couldn't accept it the way she would have if they didn't share a child.

On New Year's Eve she had reached the point where she couldn't take it any longer. She had to do _something_, find out if someone had heard anything. She dressed Grace up in one of her new outfits and in the new green overalls she had bought two days before Bart's death, then she headed over to the van der Woodsen–Bass residence to see if Lily or Eric had heard anything. Chuck had to have contacted _someone_.

When she walked into the penthouse she stopped abruptly. Jack Bass was there, lounging around with a glass of scotch in his hand and a smirk that reminded her all too much of his nephew. She hadn't expected to see him. He hadn't been able to make it to Bart's funeral so she had assumed he wasn't showing up at all, especially after Chuck bolted.

"Jack" she managed to say.

"I don't remember which one you are just from looking at you, but since you're holding a baby I'm guessing Blair" Jack grinned. "Unless my nephew has been sowing his wild oats more than I was aware of. The other two have been no-shows. Don't tell me life has driven a wedge through your little group?"

Blair was completely taken aback by his presence, and his comments, and it took her a minute and some stuttering to answer.

"I wasn't expecting you to be here. I haven't seen you in ages."

"What can I say, Bass Australia keeps me occupied." He took a few steps closer. "So this is little Grace, then? Bart sent me a picture but it's easy to tell anyway. Are you sure it's a girl? She looks just like Chuck did at that age. Or maybe he was just a very feminine looking baby."

"Have you heard anything from Chuck?" Blair asked sadly, ignoring his comments.

"Not one word" Jack said, emptying the contents of his tumbler. "I'm surprised he took off the way he did with the baby and all. Turns out he parents just the way Bart did."

Blair frowned, resenting the comment, but Jack had turned around and was walking back to the bar to get a refill. She heard someone coming down the stairs and turned her head to see Lily, who looked more desolate now than she had the day of the funeral.

"Blair" Lily said and managed a small smile. "What brings you by? Did you hear anything from Charles?"

"Actually I came to see if you had heard anything."

"No and I don't expect to" Lily said, looking very tired. "I'm not exactly Charles' favorite person right now."

"My nephew can't have gone far" Jack said, now with alcohol in his tumbler again. "After New Year's I'm going to go see if I can find him. I've already got private investigators hot on his trail. Say what you want about Chuck, he's not always good at covering his tracks."

Blair nodded thoughtfully. She didn't agree with his statement, in fact she had a strong feeling that if Chuck cared about not being found then it would be very difficult to find him. But given the state he had been in when she last saw him he might not even be thinking about covering his tracks.

Jack studied her with interest and smirked at her over his tumbler. It was strange seeing him again. She had met him a few times over the years and never paid any interest to him, nor him to her. Right now though she was struck with how similar he was to Chuck. He had the same kind of charm and wit and a lot of the same mannerisms. She felt herself drawn to him because of how much he reminded her of Chuck. However, Jack and Chuck were not the same. She had a feeling Jack was what Chuck might become, and it wasn't the most favorable outcome. There was something about Jack, some harshness and darkness hidden underneath the surface. She had a feeling he could be ruthless and not in the way Bart had been able to be. Bart had always had a line, she had known that. With Jack she wasn't entirely sure. She found herself hoping Chuck would turn out differently than his uncle.

The baby sneezed and clearly didn't enjoy sneezing because she began to cry. Blair excused herself to go calm her down. She walked into Chuck's bedroom and shushed the child, hoping she would soon stop crying. She took a good look around, wishing she would feel more connected to the child's father while being in his room but she didn't feel anything like that at all.

Her eyes fell on the dresser and she swallowed. His scarf was flung over it. She hadn't seen him wear it in over a month. Slowly she walked over and reached out her hand to touch it. It was just a piece of fabric but it was so much Chuck. She grabbed it and lifted it up to her face, taking a deep breath hoping to feel his smell. She didn't. It just smelled like spit-up.

Grace noticed the scarf and stopped crying instantly, distracted by the familiar fabric. She reached out a hand and grasped it and Blair let her hold on at first. After a few seconds she tried to gently remove the scarf from Grace's hand and put it back where she had found it but the baby protested so she let her keep holding it. With her free hand she draped the scarf around her neck the same way Chuck wore it. Both of Grace's hands were now holding it and Blair felt tears in her eyes for a second. She wasn't sure what this meant but she thought it was about Grace missing him. Even at her young age she knew that this piece of clothing was strongly connected to her father and for a second Blair really despised him for running off and putting the baby through even more loss. It must be so confusing for the infant that first her grandfather vanished and now her father too.

She realized she wasn't going to find out anything more about Chuck today and might as well bring the baby home again. At least Jack was heading out to look for Chuck, that was good news. It was better than nothing. She walked back out and said goodbye to Lily, and nodded to Jack. The scarf was still around her shoulders and by now also in Grace's mouth. Chuck would probably object to his scarf being treated that way but she didn't give a damn. Grace deserved to have something that reminded her of her father.

"Jack…" she said while she waited for the elevator. "If you find Chuck, if you hear from him or of him… please let me know?"

"Sure thing" Jack said, looking at her with the same kind of look in his eyes as Chuck had had back when she was dating Nate but she knew Chuck was mentally undressing her. She decided to ignore the look even though on some level she found it comforting.

"Thank you" she said instead. "Lily… Take care."

Lily nodded and offered another faint smile. Blair stepped on the elevator and headed back home.

* * *

Two days in to the new year Blair got a call from Jack Bass. He had located Chuck. He wouldn't tell her where but he gave her their expected arrival date which was two days before school would start again. For the first five minutes Blair felt unbelievable relief that Chuck had been found, presumably safe and sound. Then she just felt angry. The moment he was back in New York she was going to go over there and give him a piece of her mind. Now that she no longer had to worry about his safety and wonder if he was ever coming back she could allow herself to be absolutely furious. She realized that if it hadn't been for the romantic feelings she harbored for him she would have been furious from the day after Bart's death. Her feelings for him was clouding her judgment. As she had predicted that summer falling in love with Chuck was dangerous.

Jack texted her when he landed with Chuck and told her he would bring him to the Palace. Blair hurried over and stood outside, waiting impatiently. Her anger grew stronger with each passing second, fueled by the fact that it was a cold, windy day and she hated freezing. In her mind she went over the speech she would give Chuck the second he came within earshot. She would give him a piece of her mind, tell him what an awful father he was, tell him to forget all about the possibility of a romance between the two of them, tell him that the next time he stayed away from Grace he didn't have to bother coming back.

Finally the limo pulled up and Jack stepped out. He walked over to Blair with a sly grin. She frowned. Whether or not Jack ever returned to New York city was not exactly a concern of hers. Where was Chuck?

"Blair!" Jack said cheerfully. "What a lovely surprise. I had no idea you would be so eager to come see us."

"You?" she snorted impatiently. "I'm here for Chuck. Where is he? You did bring him home, didn't you?"

"Relax, I've got him. I see you left the little one home for this reunion. Probably a smart move. He's not exactly-"

"Do you have him or not?"

Jack grinned at her and walked back to the car. He opened the door and called out to Chuck but nothing happened. With a sigh Jack reached inside the car and dragged out a barely conscious Chuck, clearly drunk off his ass and probably high as well. Blair recoiled at the sight of him. He looked terrible, worse than ever before. Clearly he hadn't spent his time away working through his grief or trying to make sense of things. Some of her anger washed away but when the stench of alcohol hit her it returned full force.

"Sober him up" she told Jack. "I'll be by this afternoon. I'm serious, don't let him drink anything else!"

Jack just grinned at her again and dragged Chuck off to the hotel with the help of the limo driver. Chuck seemed about one gulp away from alcohol poisoning and she realised he might need days rather than hours to sober up. She drew her coat closer around her and cursed.

* * *

That afternoon she showed up at the hotel to speak to Chuck, still set on giving him a piece of her mind. She strode through the Palace lobby and pushed a few people aside to get on the elevator first. She rode up to his floor while impatiently tapping her foot against the carpet.

When she reached his door she stopped for a second. No matter how angry she was at him he had just lost his father and probably wouldn't react kindly to her yelling at him no matter how much he deserved it. It might just drive him further away and she didn't want to do that. She had to at least try to speak sensibly with him or she would only end up making matters worse.

She took a deep breath, braced herself and knocked. Jack opened the door after a minute, smirking at her with what appeared to be his trademark facial expression.

"Good afternoon Blair" he said. "Left the infant home again I see. Smart move."

"Jack" she said unenthusiastically.

"And you look ravishing as always."

"Here's a twenty" Blair said cheekily and held up a bill. "Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I talk to Chuck?"

He chuckled at her teasing jab and snatched the money before heading out. Blair closed the door and walked inside, looking for Chuck. She hadn't been to his Palace penthouse since their secret affair junior year. It felt strange to be back.

"Chuck?" she said.

No answer. Frowning she walked further inside and spotted him, lying on the couch, looking better than this morning but still far worse than most other people she had seen. He was awake and glared up at her with his now usual bloodshot eyes. He smelled awful and judging by the look of his hair hadn't cleaned himself up in days, maybe even weeks. The least Jack could have done was force him in the shower. Looking at him now she didn't feel sorry for him. Anger was still the emotion she was mainly feeling.

"Hello Chuck" she said with no empathy in her voice.

"Blair…" he replied with lackluster voice.

His eyes were dead again. It didn't scare her this time.

"How was your vacation?" she said with spite.

"It was… not memorable."

"No surprises there. Have you just been lying here all day?"

"I've actually been productive… Bought Victrola back. Owner took me to the cleaner's but some things are worth the price… I'm throwing a party there tonight. You're invited. The baby's not."

His eyes left hers and he stared blankly into space. Clearly he was suffering through the mother of all hangovers but she had absolutely no sympathy. It hurt her so much to see him like this but it wasn't Chuck she was feeling sorry for. She felt sorry for herself and for her baby girl. Had all her romantic daydreams really been just fantasies? She seemed to have been right when she said he was not boyfriend material. She had known him forever but had never guessed he would be capable of pulling a stunt like this. The fact that he didn't even look remorseful right now broke her heart further. She didn't expect him to be her knight in shining armor, especially not so soon after Bart's death, but she expected more from him than this.

"Don't you have something to say to me?" she said.

"Like what?"

"Like what?" she echoed. "Like saying you're sorry for being such a pathetic excuse for a father to _our_ baby? Like apologizing for just taking off like that in the middle of the night, leaving me to wonder whether I should worry about your safety or wish you dead for abandoning us? Like telling me you regret the choices you've made these past weeks and vow to do better from this point on?"

"Doesn't sound like something I'd say now does it?" Chuck said in monotone.

"Don't give me that crap. You have _responsibilities_ you jerk! You can't just walk away whenever you choose."

"Is this just an elaborate way of telling me not to bother coming back to the baby? That I've used up all my chances?"

"No" she said. "And yes. You have used up all your chances. You don't deserve her. But Grace deserves to have a father so I won't tell you to go to hell. Not yet."

"How very touching."

"I don't understand how you're not getting this. You made that girl with me Chuck. You're responsible for her very existence and she depends on you. You can't just choose to walk away. It doesn't work like that."

"Why not? Fathers have been doing that since the beginning of time."

Blair strode up to him, knelt by the couch and grabbed him by the chin. She turned his face so that their eyes met and saw the same nothingness in his eyes as before. She eyed him with disgust and let go of his chin.

"Who are you?" she asked. "What happened to the Chuck Bass I knew? The guy who was my rock while I was pregnant? The guy who kept coming back to see Grace even though I said I was sad she wasn't Nate's and even though I took much of my own issues out on him during those first few weeks? What happened to the guy who stayed home with his baby so that I could spend a night out? The guy who learned how to change a diaper and who's comforted me every time I've needed it in the last year? The guy I was starting to fall in love with?"

"That guy only did those things because his father forced him to" Chuck said, voice emotionless. "Now that his father's dead and buried… so is any inclination I might have had to follow his orders."

Blair shook her head.

"I don't believe you."

"That's your sorry business."

She grabbed his chin again and forced their eyes to meet. She clearly wasn't going to give up that easily. Why was she so stubbornly refusing to have her heart broken? It would only lead to the pain being that much worse when it finally did break. He was completely disillusioned with himself and didn't believe he could be of any use or joy to her or to the baby. It was better if she just disowned him and left him to rot. He hated Jack for having tracked him down and brought him back home. He wanted to be out of Blair's life and out of Grace's. He didn't deserve either one of them. He didn't want Grace to have to grow up with a father like him, a father like Bart had been. While the death of his mother had brought on issues for Chuck it wasn't so much the lack of a mother figure in his life as it was how she had died and how it had affected his relationship with Bart. If he were to just disappear he thought Grace might stand a better chance at a happy life.

He had made his own father miserable. That was all he had been able to think about since he walked out of the hospital. Bart Bass had been a happy man until his son was born. Chuck had taken away Bart's wife, and then forced him to spend time away from the second great love of his life, Bass Industries. The older Chuck had grown the less time Bart had wanted to spend with him. And the more desperate Chuck had become for attention from his father, any attention at all, the more he had acted out in order to get it. As a result Bart's dislike for him had only grown. Clearly he hadn't minded babies per se as Bart had been good with and to Grace. The problem had always been with Chuck. And on the last night of Bart's life Chuck had called him and annoyed him since he was in the middle of something. Then Chuck had told him about Lily and Rufus. Not only had he probably contributed to his father's death he had made his last moments in life miserable. Chuck was well aware of how much it hurt when the person you were in love with would rather have someone else. Knowing that that feeling had been the last his father ever experienced was almost poetic in its horridness. He really had made his father miserable from the moment he was born and kept on doing so until his father's last minutes in life.

What did he then have to offer Grace? Or Blair for that matter? A person who made their own father miserable all his life should never be involved with anyone, period. He shouldn't be anybody's friend as had been proven with how Nate now thought of him. He shouldn't be anyone's boyfriend as no matter what he didn't seem to be able to make Blair happy. And he shouldn't be anyone's father. Bart had been bad enough at the job and he had once been happy and at least somewhat well-adjusted. Chuck could only be a disaster.

"This is who I am Blair" he said tiredly. "It's time you let go of your fantasies. You were right the first time around. You were unfortunate enough to get knocked up by the biggest sleaze on Manhattan. Somebody who could never be good for you or your baby. For the record… I wish she was Nate's too."

Furiously Blair slapped him across the face. She waited to see if he would say anything else but he didn't. So she stood up and strode to the door. To hell with Charles Bass.

* * *

That evening Blair sat in her nursing chair with Grace cradled in her arms, singing a lullaby to her daughter. She wished they could stay in this moment indefinitely. She didn't want to have to go back to school and leave the baby for several hours a day. She didn't want Grace to grow older and start asking about her good-for-nothing father. She didn't want to have to watch from a distance as Chuck destroyed himself completely. Right in this moment things were good. She was alone with the baby who was still too tiny to know much of what was going on around her. Though things were complicated they would probably never be any easier than they were in this precise moment.

"_If happy little bluebirds fly_…" she sang to the baby. "_Why oh why can't I_?"

Grace opened her eyes slowly, almost asleep but not quite. Blair liked holding her when she went to sleep. She believed it made Grace feel safe and loved, and her baby deserved to feel that way.

"_Someday I'll wake and rub my eyes and in that land beyond the skies you'll find me…_" she sang. "_I'll be a laughing daffodil and leave the silly cares…_"

The door opened and Blair paused for a second, looking up from the baby. Dorota tiptoed into the room and Blair returned her eyes to Grace.

"… _That fill my mind behind me_" she continued.

"Is baby sleeping?" Dorota whispered.

Blair nodded. Grace had finally drifted off. Careful not to wake her she slowly stood up and walked to the crib where she gently lay the baby down. Looking at her baby she couldn't understand how Chuck could leave her the way he had. Grace was so perfect, so beautiful. It was still hard to tell whose mouth, nose and eyes she had but whatever the combination it matched really well. Her soft, dark, unruly curls were longer now but it didn't look like her hair had grown much since it was so curly. She wondered who she had gotten those curls from. Blair's hair was naturally straight and so was Chuck's. As carefully as possible Blair reached down and moved Grace's thumb from her mouth and replaced it with a pacifier. She didn't want her baby to be a thumb-sucker and had decided it was best to nip that habit in the bud.

"Mister Chuck might still come to see her" Dorota offered, looking over Blair's shoulder.

"No" Blair said. "He won't. He's busy drinking himself to death at Victrola. Who has the time for your child when there's still alcohol left in this world?"

"Is not like Mister Chuck to abandon baby."

"It is exactly like Chuck to abandon her. He stayed away for a whole week after I went back to school just because he was annoyed with me."

"That poor boy" Dorota said, shaking her head. "Nobody taught him how to depend on people, now he not know how to be dependable."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Dorota what have I told you about watching '_Dr. Phil_'? Stop making excuses for him. At some point _he_ has to be held accountable for his choices."

Dorota just shrugged.

"Can I get you anything Miss Blair?" she asked.

"No…" Blair said. "I'm just… just going to read a book or something. I'm not in the mood for anything else. Maybe I should just go to bed. I need all the rest I can get. I won't be able to rely on Chuck for anything anymore."

Much to her annoyance what Dorota had just said echoed in her mind. Nobody had ever taught Chuck how to depend on people. There was an element of truth to that. When had somebody ever stood by him through anything? Blair was lucky. She had Serena who had stood by her through a lot more than most friends would have and she had Dorota who would stand by her come hell or high water. Even Eleanor had stood by her throughout the whole pregnancy. When had Chuck been able to enjoy such luxury? Bart had certainly tried once Grace had come along but he didn't seem to have known how to be there for his son. Chuck had in many ways been all alone. What was it like to be so alone and then lose the only parent you had ever known? Even a lousy parent was better than no parent at all.

She looked down at Grace again. She was determined to be the best parent she could possibly be and whether or not she liked it she was forever teamed up with Chuck for the job. There was no undoing of Grace's paternity. She was and forever would be Chuck Bass' daughter. And she damn well deserved to have her father in her life. If Blair let Chuck destroy himself now would Grace be able to forgive her for that when she grew older? What would she be able to say to her daughter to explain why she had just turned away from him? How would she be able to justify having left him to his sorrow and despair, having abandoned him like everyone else did even though she was in love with him?

"I hate this" she groaned.

Then she turned on her heel and headed for the door.

"Miss Blair?" Dorota said.

"Watch Grace for me, would you? I have to go make sure she still has a father in the morning. I can't let him drink himself into oblivion and run away from everyone who cares about him."

Dorota smiled but Blair was already out the door and didn't see it.

* * *

Chuck staggered out on the roof of Victrola, surprised that he was still able to walk at all. How much had he had to drink tonight? Actually not that much, but given that he couldn't even remember the last meal he had had it was nothing short of a miracle that he was able to move a single muscle. He found himself wondering why he had even decided to throw a party here tonight. The only thing he wanted less than to go back to where the van der Woodsens were staying was to be around people. He hated Jack a little for finding him and dragging him back. He had been in solitude, only consorting with other people when he chose to. Now he was back in New York with all the crap that came with it. Now it was right back to disappointing people. He didn't want to do that anymore. He didn't want to be that person anymore. He just didn't know how to not be like that. Bart had always said he was a disappointment and a screw-up, or at least that was all Chuck could remember him saying. And who knew him better than his own father? Who had ever seen him better than Bart?

He stumbled over to the edge of the building and climbed up, wondering to himself if he was sober enough to walk on that edge and curious to find out. He realized he was holding a bottle of alcohol in his hand but couldn't remember having grabbed it. Not that it mattered much since a couple of seconds later he had dropped it and it had shattered on the street below. Chuck watched with fascination, unable to see the broken bottle so far down and in the dark but still drawn to the spot where it ought to have landed. How freeing it would be to just take another step and follow the bottle. One final disappointing act and then everyone could just frown and sigh over what a screw-up that Chuck Bass had always been and move on with their lives. Blair could go and fall in love with someone worthy of her heart. Grace could grow up without the presence of a good-for-nothing father who would no doubt scar her badly no matter how he tried to be a good parent. He was simply not able to be a good father.

Just as he had decided that he would in fact take the step his uncle's voice broke through the silence. Startled he turned around, wobbling worse than before and at least for the moment hoping to stay up on the ledge. He still wanted to jump, he just didn't want an audience when he did it.

"No!" another familiar voice cried. "You don't surprise someone standing on the edge of a building!"

Blair.

"Chuck" Jack said, trying to sound casual. "Come away from there. Let's go down and join the party."

"I was at the party" Chuck objected. "I'm not really that into it."

"Your father would not have wanted this" Jack said, employing the one thing he knew Chuck would always strive for which was Bart's approval.

"Dear old Dad?" Chuck replied with a melancholy voice. "Fortunately all I know is what he didn't want. Which was me." He turned his head and looked out over the city. "I'm Chuck Bass!" he cried. "No one cares…"

"I do" Blair objected, stepping towards him. "Don't you see? I'll always be here."

"You shouldn't" he said. "I'm no good for you. No good for her…"

"That is not true" Blair protested. "She needs you. Just like I do. I don't want you going anywhere. I couldn't bear it. I know you feel overwhelmed and I know you're afraid you're going to make her feel the way Bart made you feel but I know you can do better than that. You can be so much better than that. Don't you get that you already have been?"

"She's not _my_ child Blair" Chuck said lamely. "Not in the ways that matter."

"You're Grace's father" Blair insisted. "In every way. I need you for this Chuck. I cannot raise her without you. Please don't make me do that. Please don't abandon me when I need you the most. Whatever it is you want to do to yourself please don't do that to me. I'm begging you don't do that to Grace. You know what it means to grow up without one of the two people who are supposed to be the most important during your childhood. Don't put her through what you've been through. Please…"

He hesitated. He allowed his eyes to meet Blair's and found it almost impossible to refuse her anything when she looked at him with that kind of desperation. But he wasn't convinced that she was right.

"Chuck you should listen to-" Jack began but Blair silenced him with a look.

"Please Chuck…" she said softly and met his eyes again, reaching out her hand. "Please… For Grace… For Grace…"

On a reflex he reached forward and took her hand. He felt her pulling him a little closer, eager to get him away from the edge.

"Please…" she whispered.

Obediently he got down from the ledge. She let go of his hand and placed both hers on his shoulders in a firm grip as if she wanted to prevent him from going anywhere. He stared at her for a moment, sobering up a little and genuinely shocked over what he had come so close to doing. She was right. He couldn't do that to her or to the baby. He couldn't take the coward's way out. He had spent his whole life thinking that his father didn't love him because he had inadvertently killed his mother. He couldn't let his own child spend her life thinking that her father killed himself because he didn't love her enough to want to see her grow up. He had sworn he would never let Grace know that he didn't think of her as a daughter.

"I'm sorry" he said to Blair, apologizing both for what he had put he through and apologizing to Grace through her. He allowed Blair to pull him close for an embrace and once more broke apart in her arms. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay" she whispered, holding him close and rubbing his back.

He began to cry for the first time since he had been on her bed the day after the funeral. Just like she had that night she let him cry and soothed him as best as she could. He wished he could tell her how much she meant to him but even if he had thought he was worthy of saying something like that to her he wouldn't be able to find the words. Not right now. So he just stood there and cried in the arms of the person he had come so close to failing worse than he had failed anyone ever before.

* * *

It might be a while before I update. I'm suffering from a bit of writer's block at the moment. Hopefully it will go away within a few days but if not it might be a while.

Thanks for reading! Please review.


	36. Chapter 36

I'm still stuck in my writer's block but now it's found new and exciting ways to annoy me lol. I know exactly where I want the story to be in a few chapters' time but I can't seem to be able to bring the characters to that place without making it really confusing and making them seem like they're schizophrenic. Which means it can go in one of three ways. Either I manage to figure out how I want to write it, or I keep waiting to be able to figure it out and end up posting the next update a few months from now at the earliest, or I just decide to hell with it and let them act weirdly. Time will tell. I hate writer's block.

This chapter falls under the third option btw. The only reason I'm posting it like this is that I hope it will sort of force me to try and figure something out with the chapters that follow. Like the previous installments this chapter borrows from the show.

In other news I've abandoned my quest to avoid all spoilers. Too many friends of mine have been complaining about the Dair development for me to even be able to pretend I don't know what's happened in the episodes I have yet to see, so I decided "if you can't beat them, join them" (spoilers, not Dair). At least for the rest of this season. Which might be the last if they keep losing viewers like this…

* * *

Chuck eyed himself in the mirror before heading off to the reading of his father's will. The reading was held at Bart's office at the Palace just a few floors away from the suite Chuck was staying in. Looking at his reflection he realized this was the first time in weeks he had looked presentable. He had taken a shower, done his hair, dressed in something fresh and appropriate and he had even gotten a fairly good night's sleep. Since the incident at Victrola he had stayed sober and gotten some more food in his system. What he hadn't done was stop by Blair's place to see the baby. They had both agreed it was better that he sobered up and suffered through his inevitable hangover before coming to see her. He supposed he would see her later on today after the reading of the will. He was supposed to go to school once the reading was over, seeing as today was the first day after the break, but he didn't feel up for it. His motivation for getting an education was pretty much non-existent.

He walked out of his suite and headed to his father's office. Jack was there waiting, making an effort to look supportive but Chuck could see his uncle was secretly a touch excited. They were about to find out who would inherit what and although Jack wasn't expecting to get any of the money Chuck knew he was hoping to get the company. It didn't matter either way to Chuck. So long as he had enough money to keep up the lifestyle he was accustomed to he didn't give a damn about any of the rest.

"Let's get this over with" he said to Jack.

"Courage nephew" Jack answered. "I'll be running Bass Industries and you're about to inherit a billion dollars."

"I know my father" Chuck replied with little enthusiasm. "There'll be so many strings attached I'll look like a marionette. That is if he even left me anything. Who knows, he might have changed his will after the paternity test came back and left it all to the infant. He wouldn't miss his last chance to put me in my place."

The attorneys came walking down the hall and Chuck sighed heavily, wishing this could already be over. More than that he wished he didn't have to attend at all. At least he could find some solace in the fact that Lily wasn't there. She had taken off somewhere, Chuck couldn't care less where if he tried, he was just happy she was gone. Together with Jack he walked inside his father's office and took a seat.

The attorneys began to talk and Chuck tuned out almost immediately. He didn't pay any attention at all until his name was uttered. He looked over at the man who had spoken and didn't bother looking interested.

"Your uncle Jack Bass is your closest living relative and as such has been named as your legal guardian. Are you comfortable with this?"

Chuck resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Leave it to an attorney to point out that he was an orphan with next to no family left and then ask if he was comfortable with anything at all. It hadn't occurred to him until now that he would need a guardian but he would be eighteen in May so what difference did it make who officially called the shots for the next four months?

"Curfew?" he asked Jack.

"None."

"Girls sleeping over?"

"Yes please."

"I'll allow it" Chuck told the attorney.

"Moving on then" the attorney said, sounding as casual as if he was talking about the weather. Granted he was Bart Bass' legal representative and had probably seen and heard far more unsettling conversations than that between a parentless teenager and his uncle. "With regard to Mr. Bass' personal assets 75% will be put in a trust which you Charles will have access to on your eighteenth birthday. The remaining 25% will be put in a trust accessible to Mr. Bass' granddaughter, Grace Waldorf, on _her_ eighteenth birthday."

"And as for Bass Industries?" Jack asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

"Yes, I was just getting to that" the attorney said. "24% will remain in the board's hands and a 20% stake in the company has been left to Lily Bass."

"Okay but that still leaves 56%" Jack said. "That's the controlling interest."

"Doesn't sound right" Chuck remarked. "Too random a number. Bart would have left 51% to one person or group, not 56."

"Charles" the attorney said. "Mr. Bass asked me to give you this letter. He also asked that a letter be given to his granddaughter but since she is merely a few months old I will entrust it to you."

Chuck eyed the letters suspiciously. His mind was still trying to figure out what the 56% was all about. He could care less about Bart's correspondence.

"If I don't read it do I still get my inheritance?"

It almost amused him to see the attorney look surprised.

"Well yes, but-"

"Then I'll pass."

He got up and headed for the door. Whatever strings Bart had included in that letter he wouldn't read them. As for the letter to the baby the attorney could hold on to that for another fifteen years or so. He left the room and got as far as the elevators before Jack caught up with him, letters in hand.

"Chuck, this letter represents your dad's final words. Don't you want to know what he had to say?"

"Frankly I'm past caring" Chuck said, pressing the button to call for the elevator. "It's just going to be the usual criticism of my social habits, my wardrobe, my personality…"

"You can't know that for sure" Jack said, holding out the other envelope. "At the very least you should put this in the safe. That daughter of yours might be interested in knowing what her grandfather had to say to her."

"I'll give you that" Chuck agreed, grabbing the letter without enthusiasm. "Bart did care about her more than he did me."

The elevator arrived and he stepped on it. Jack followed and opened the letter Bart had addressed to Chuck. Chuck sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Dear son" Jack began to read. "I know I've always been hard on you."

"True" Chuck said.

"But my goal was always to prepare you for this day" Jack read on. "To help you go from being a boy to a man."

"The Italian au-pair took care of that." He reached over and snatched the letter. "Fine, if it has to be read I can read it myself."

He began to read it in silence, ignoring the curious looks from his uncle. Bart had used all his fine words to describe how his parenting choices had in fact all been means to a noble end, words that did nothing to make Chuck feel better, rather they made him feel more like a stranger to his father than ever. Couldn't the man have at least written to him like a normal person addressed their children and not like he was some sort of business partner? Then he reached a part of the letter which surprised him.

"What?" he mumbled out loud.

"What?" Jack asked, on the edge of his seat.

"This can't be right" Chuck frowned.

"What does it say?"

"Therefore I'm bequeathing to you the majority share of Bass Industries" he read out loud, the words making no more sense being spoken out loud than just read in his head.

Jack's jaw fell and he snatched the letter from his nephew.

"That son of a bitch" he growled, skimming through the text until he got to the part Chuck had been reading. "He left you with 51%. The remaining five go to your little brat, to be overseen by her mother until she's eighteen. The bastard child gets five percent and I get _nothing_? I'd kill my brother if he wasn't dead already."

"Whatever" Chuck said, grabbing the letter back. "My father can't be one way my whole life then all of a sudden it's okay. It's nice that he finally decided I'm worthy… but I don't want it. If you want it Jack then you can have it."

The elevator doors opened and Chuck stepped off without seeing the satisfied smirk on his uncle's face. He realized he was in the lobby, not on the floor of his suite, but that was just as well. He needed some air to clear his head.

He walked outside and stepped out onto the streets. He had gotten two blocks before he even realized he was still holding the letter from his father. To hell with it. He would just toss it in the nearest trash can. He needed to clear his head and get away from everything. If only Jack had left him alone and let him rot away in Asia. What the hell was the point of coming back? He was just a screw-up anyway.

He rounded a corner and had barely taken two steps before he almost bumped into Blair and Dorota, out walking with the baby. He automatically stopped in his tracks, even though Blair might be the last person he wanted to see right now. He felt embarrassed about what had happened at Victrola and didn't know what to say to her.

Blair however seemed to know exactly what to say to him.

"Chuck" she said with a mixture of curiosity and affection. "How are you? How did the reading go?"

Chuck didn't answer. He barely even heard her. His full attention was on the baby. Dorota had her in a babybjörn, dressed in thick overalls to keep her warm, though thankfully it was a mild winter's day. When Chuck had approached and the baby had spotted him her face had lit up in an excited grin and she had waved her arms and legs about the way she did when she was thrilled about something. Her reaction to seeing him had made him feel like he had been wacked over the head with a sudden realization. He hadn't seen his baby since he got back from Thailand and only once in the week leading up to him leaving. Almost a month of her life had gone by but she still recognized him. And she was excited to see him. In fact, she was squealing with delight at the sight of him. Suddenly he realized that his daughter loved him. Perhaps it was just infant puppy love or something but her entire demeanor made it clear how she felt about him. He had known she would grow to love him at some point if he stayed in her life but he hadn't expected it to happen so soon.

It almost made him stumble when he realized it. Nobody had ever loved him before. Not his father, not any of his friends, and unfortunately not Blair, at least not as far as he knew. But Grace did. Pure, unconditional love. She was not yet five months old and when he had last seen her she hadn't had a grasp reflex, but even so she was a person who loved him.

"Chuck?" Blair said. "Chuck are you okay?"

"She's gotten bigger" he said, stepping closer and reaching out a hand to caress the baby's tiny cheek. "I haven't seen her in far too long."

"They grow fast…" Blair said warily. "What did you expect when you disappeared like that for weeks?"

"Mister Chuck, Miss Blair, we cannot stand around and talk" Dorota said. "Might get too cold for baby."

"Where are you going with her?" Chuck wanted to know.

"We've got Mommy Group in twenty minutes" Blair said. "And Dorota's right. She might get cold."

"Can I stop by later today and see her?" Chuck asked.

"Of course" Blair said. "We agreed you'd come as soon as you sobered up. You don't need to ask my permission. Come by whenever you want."

"I really missed her" Chuck said, more to himself than to Blair.

"Come by later then" Blair said. "And tell me what happened at the reading. We'll be looking forward to seeing you."

"Say bye to Papa" Dorota said, waving the baby's hand at Chuck.

"Bye Grace…" Chuck said, gently caressing her cheek with his finger before stepping aside to allow Dorota to pass.

Dorota and Blair continued their walk and Chuck watched them go. He felt strange, but a lot less conflicted. He realized what he had just done up in that office. He had handed Bass Industries over to Jack without so much as a second thought. All he had had in his head was that he didn't want any part of it and that Bart was basically setting him up to fail from beyond the grave. But now that he had seen the baby it dawned on him what it really meant to give the company to Jack, even if it was only temporarily. He couldn't really remember what he had said, if he had given it away completely or just until he turned eighteen but he shouldn't have given it away at all.

He began walking again, hurrying towards the Palace where Jack would no doubt be sitting behind Chuck's father's desk. He needed to talk to his uncle right away. There was no way the company could be left in Jack's hands. The more he thought about it the more he realized that Bart had been of the same idea. He had, after all, left the company to his son and not to his brother. Even though Chuck was a seventeen year-old high school kid and Jack was a fully grown man already working for Bass Industries in Australia.

As he had expected Jack was already sitting behind Bart's desk when he returned to the hotel, looking far too comfortable already. In fact he looked about three steps away from having his feet up on the desk. Jack looked up when he heard Chuck enter the room.

"Chuck. What's up. Forget something?"

"I took a walk, did some thinking…" Chuck said, taking a seat opposite his uncle. "Thought about my father's letter. If it wasn't notarized I'd think it was a fake. Then I thought about my own duties as a father."

"Good thing you inherited all of Bart's billions" Jack said, glancing through a report. "That baby will be well set."

"Look I owe you a lot Jack…" Chuck said. "I don't want you to think I'm not aware of that. You brought me back, prevented me from making what would have been the biggest mistake of my life."

"I am touched" Jack said casually.

"But this thing with the company…"

"What of it?"

"It appears I spoke too hastily when I said you could have it. I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't want it for myself but I didn't take my daughter into consideration."

"Seems to me like you did" Jack argued. "Bart was always busy with Bass Industries, left you mostly with the au pairs. Handing over the company seems like the best thing you could do for your daughter."

"Except I'm not Bart Bass" Chuck said. "I'm not going to repeat his mistakes. The baby doesn't live with me right now and I won't have the baby full-time even when she's older, which means I can focus more on her when she's with me and more on business when she's not."

"You think business is going to go on vacation whenever you're busy watching animated movies and playing with stuffed animals?"

"At some point Grace is going to be grown up" Chuck continued, ignoring the comment. "When she is, the option to run the company should be available to her. When you and I are both gone Bass Industries rightfully belongs to her."

"So basically you want my word that when I'm retiring I will hand over the reins to your bastard child?" Jack concluded.

"Bart's granddaughter. My daughter. The person who rightfully deserves to run it when we're out of the game. And no, I'm not looking for you to promise you'll hand it over to her. I'm saying I should be the one to run the company until she's able to. I've decided to follow my father's wishes and take over Bass Industries."

Jack lifted his eyes from the report, giving Chuck a look like he had lost his marbles completely. The wheels were clearly turning in his head.

"Well, we… can discuss that when you turn eighteen. Anyway you're in charge in name, it's better. And it does ensure that the company will go to that brat of yours."

"She's not a brat."

"With me behind the reins you get all of the fun, none of the work."

"I want to start now" Chuck said. "Learning at least."

"This isn't an after-school job" Jack pointed out. "You have no experience. You're not ready. Aren't you the least bit concerned of what you will be leaving for your daughter to take over one day? What's the rush?"

Chuck didn't bother answering. He knew his uncle. If he allowed Jack to sink his teeth into the company now it would be nearly impossible to get him to let go in May when Chuck turned eighteen. He rose from his chair and gave Jack a look to tell him who was boss. Jack may be older but Chuck had his father's will on his side.

"If you want to stay in New York I'll find you a place in the company" he said. "I know it's going to be a long road… but I'm ready now."

"You think you can handle school, a kid _and_ the company?"

"Time will tell."

They stared at each other, each reviewing their own stand and the other's. As much as Jack hated it he knew he couldn't win this round. He got up and left, leaving Chuck alone in Bart's office. Chuck walked around the desk and took a seat in his father's chair, wondering to himself if he really was ready.

His eyes trailed over his father's desk. Jack had only been there for about half an hour and hadn't rearranged anything. The pictures Bart had placed on his desk were still there. One was of Lily on their wedding day and another of Lily, Bart and their children, also from the wedding. Bart also had a picture of Chuck from when he was little, which Chuck had always imagined Bart hadn't replaced with a more recent photo because he preferred looking at his son from an age when he still actually liked him. Then there was the picture of the baby, taken by a professional photographer when Grace was ten weeks old.

He picked up the photo and studied it. He knew the picture well, it had been put up in the penthouse. It was a very good picture of Grace, though at the time it had been taken Chuck had wondered why they hadn't waited until the little one could at least sit unsupported before getting her picture taken. He thought about what it would really mean to be in charge of Bass Industries. Jack had had a point about the difficulties of juggling a child and a company but Chuck was thinking long-term. He knew his uncle wasn't doing wonders for Bass Industries in Australia and he couldn't take the chance that he would botch things up in New York. Perhaps Chuck wouldn't do a much better job, but if the company was going to be run to the ground it was better that he was the one to do it, rather than having to have to explain to his daughter one day that she didn't have much of a company to inherit because her father had given it away to his uncle.

He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, looking at the picture from the wedding. He wondered if there was any chance in hell that he would be able to manage the company in a way that his father would have been pleased with. Then he put the picture of Grace back on the desk and decided it didn't matter what Bart would have thought. As long as he could run it in a way that Grace would approve of then that would be enough. After all, he knew she loved him. That was more than he could say for Bart.

* * *

That afternoon Chuck arrived at Blair's home to see the baby. Blair came hurrying down the stairs right as he stepped off the elevator.

"Chuck" she said. "I was just on my way out to buy some new clothes for the baby. She grows at the speed of light."

He dejectedly looked down at the floor and Blair could have kicked herself. She hadn't meant to allude to how much the baby had grown during his absence. He seemed well aware of that anyway, and appeared to have a hard time with his conscience.

"I'm sorry, I…" she began, but didn't know what to say.

"Is she asleep?" Chuck asked.

"No. No, she's awake. Dorota's up there with her right now. Go ahead and go upstairs. I'll be back in an hour."

Chuck nodded and walked past her, slowly making his way up the stairs. Blair watched him with concern until he was no longer visible. He seemed so dejected, almost like he had lost his fighting spirit. She hoped it would only be temporary. Seeing him like this was frightening, he was so unlike the Chuck she knew. She picked up her purse and walked out to go out shopping for her daughter. Spending some money on clothes might just be what she needed to brighten her own dark spirits.

Chuck walked into Blair's bedroom where Dorota was folding baby clothes on the bed. Dorota looked up and then quickly began to gather the clothes to put them away.

"I will give you moment with baby" she said.

Chuck ignored her and walked over to the crib. He peered down and Grace looked back up at him. She gave him the same profession of joy as she had earlier in the day. He smiled and reached down to pick her up.

"Hey there, big girl" he said. "Hey… How are you?"

He held her close and took a deep breath through his nose, filling his nostrils with her smell. He had almost forgotten how she smelled. With a smile he walked over to the armchair Blair had bought to sit in while she nursed, and took a seat.

"Did you miss me?" he asked. "I'm sorry I was away."

If Grace had missed him she didn't seem to be the type to carry a grudge. She seemed excited to see him, and made some loud noises he hadn't heard her make before. He made a few noises back and she appeared to be copying them. He chuckled.

"Did you do that before I left?" he asked.

He picked up the lion plushie that sat on the armrest of the chair, a plushie that had been Blair's once upon a time. He held it up to the baby and she reached out her hands and grabbed a firm hold of the lion's mane.

"Firm grip you've got there. No, no don't try to put it in your mouth! It's far too big for anything like that."

His smile widened and got more relaxed. It really was good to see her again. He hadn't realized until today just how much he had actually missed her. Spending time with her was like balm for the soul. She was the one person who didn't judge him and whom he hadn't seemed to have disappointed. She loved him, pure and simple. It was something he had been wanting his entire life and he wondered how he could have been so blind to it up until now.

"I didn't even get you anything from Thailand" he remarked. "Though in my defense I didn't do a lot of shopping. It was mostly massaging and smoking and… some other stuff. Perhaps you can forgive me for being away for so long even without a gift? If you can't, I don't blame you. I missed your first Christmas so I guess I owe you some presents. Though I suppose you were a lot more interested in the bows on the gifts than what was actually in them."

He bounced her gently on his knee and she laughed. He laughed in response, and bounced her again. Apparently this was a game she was fond of, so he kept it up for a while. While he bounced her he told her all about his day and the talk he had had with Jack. He assured her that the company was in safe hands and would someday be hers if she wanted it. After all, the day would come when her mother's old lion plushie wouldn't be enough to keep her satisfied.

"I bet you would make an excellent president of Bass Industries" he said. "With your mother's charm and determination and with your grandfather's sense for business you could have the entire city eating out of the palm of your hand by the time you're twenty-five. Do you realize how much potential we managed to cram into you? Your mother has so much greatness in her, I have a few helpful traits myself, and there are a lot of entrepreneurs in your family tree. Grace you will be able to do wonders if you want to."

He kissed her and held her close. She was already doing wonders. All the fatherly love he hadn't been able to feel, or thought he hadn't been able to feel, had finally begun to awaken in him. The feeling was bizarre, so different from the type of love he felt for the baby's mother but just as strong. The strangest part was that it wasn't an instant change. He hadn't gone from being indifferent to her to caring this strongly about her in just one day. She had been on his mind a lot while he was away and even though his actions had been misguided he had acted out of an idea of what would be best for her. Her well-being had been one of his main concerns. His indifference had slowly been wearing down over the past few months and his feelings towards her had begun to change. He just hadn't been able to see it until now. Maybe he hadn't even known what the feeling was when it had begun to come to him. He knew what infatuation was and what it meant to love someone romantically but he hadn't had the slightest idea what it would be like to love a child.

He made another sound at the baby and Grace imitated him and then laughed excitedly. He grinned at her and wondered what had ever possessed him to try and remove himself from her life completely. He could do this. He could be there for her. At least Grace seemed to think he was doing a good job at the moment.

"You have my word" he said to her. "I will try my best to make it all up to you. Maybe we can put the past behind us and start over from here, what do you think?"

She made a noise and put her fist in her mouth. He chuckled. He had a lot to make up for but he was at least on the right track now. He wasn't completely absorbed with fatherly love just yet, he knew that part of his attachment to her right now was purely selfish and caused by her fondness of him, but at least he felt that attachment to her stronger than he ever had before.

* * *

Carrying three shopping bags Blair walked back into her mother's penthouse, feeling quite pleased with her shopping round. In addition to buying what was basically a whole new complete wardrobe for Grace she had also discovered that she was now fully back to her previous clothe size, minus the bras, and had thus stopped by Prada for some much needed updating of her own wardrobe.

She put the bags down on the table by the staircase and took a second to adjust her headband. Dorota came in from the kitchen, eager to see what she had bought.

"Did you find nice clothes for Miss Grace?" she asked.

"I did" Blair said. "Oh Dorota, you have to see the green satin dress I bought for her. It's like something I would wear to a formal occasion, only baby-sized."

"Sounds lovely" Dorota said excitedly.

"Let's go upstairs and unpack" Blair said, heading for the stairs, leaving the bags to Dorota. "You will never guess what I also bought?"

"Baby shoes from Louboutin?" Dorota guessed.

"No, even better!"

"Perhaps you show me downstairs" Dorota suggested.

Blair stopped, three steps up on the stairs, and frowned.

"Downstairs? Why?"

"Give Mister Chuck time alone with baby."

"Chuck is still here?" Blair asked, lifting her arm to glance at her wristwatch.

"Yes, and him and baby could use time alone together."

"Or better yet, the three of us can spend time together, like it should be" Blair said, smiling at the thought.

"Give him little while longer."

Blair didn't look entirely pleased, but walked back down the stairs and over to the coffee table by the divan. Dorota followed with the bags.

"Just a little bit longer then" she said.

Dorota nodded. Blair then showed her everything she had bought, happy to note that Dorota was appropriately excited that Blair now fitted into her pre-baby size again. After they had gone over Blair's findings they went into the kitchen and had tea and sandwiches. Dorota then went back to her various tasks around the house and Blair used her phone to update her facebook page and check her e-mail. Then she began to feel fidgety. She walked over to Dorota, who was dusting, and nodded to the clock on the wall.

"It's been quite a while now" she said.

"Mister Chuck was gone for weeks" Dorota said.

"So? It's not like he doesn't get to spend quality time with her if I'm in the room too. I'm going up there."

She turned on her heel and walked over to the staircase, ascending them without waiting for Dorota to say anything back. When she reached the top of the staircase she hesitated for a second, and listened to see if she could figure out what exactly Chuck was up to. The hallway was completely silent. She walked over to her room and gently pushed the door open.

Chuck was leaned back in her armchair, looking more at peace than he had in a long time. The resigned appearance from earlier was gone, replaced by an expression of serenity. The baby was sleeping in his arms, one chubby arm on either side of his neck and her little cheek resting on his shoulder. The purple pacifier Chuck had bought for her when she was only a few days old was in her mouth and she was sucking on it lightly in her sleep.

Blair smiled. The sight before her made her sure of something she had been worrying and wondering about for a long time now. She really did love him. And it didn't frighten or worry her to realize it. It should have, given everything that had recently happened. Instead she just felt happy. She loved him and they had a baby together. She had never seen him look more like a parent than he did in that moment, and with striking clarity she knew what she wanted. She wanted him. They could be so good together and the relationship would only be strengthened by the little person sleeping in his arms. They could be an actual, real family. The thought was so appealing it made her want to laugh for joy.

Chuck looked up at her and smiled back at her, and she felt her heart skip a beat. How could she have ignored this feeling for so long? It was so obvious and so strong. Quietly as to not wake the baby she walked inside and closed the door behind her. She walked over to him and knelt by the armchair, gently caressing her baby's back with one hand while her eyes never left Chuck's. They continued to look at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity that was far too short. Then he gave a little laugh and looked at the baby.

"She fell asleep about an hour ago" he said.

"You've been sitting here like this since then?"

"She's sleeping so peacefully."

"She won't wake up if you want to put her down."

"No, I like holding her."

Blair smiled and felt her legs start to cramp so she stood up and placed a kiss on the baby's head. Then she gathered her courage and placed one on Chuck's lips. He seemed appreciative, but he didn't seem to take it as a romantic gesture. She let her hand gently caress his cheek before going to get a chair to sit down next to him.

"I'm so glad you're back" she said.

"So am I. I'm just sorry I left."

"You're back now.

"I'm just glad she is too young to ever remember this. Or to even fully understand it now."

"Yeah but I'll hold it over your head in the future whenever we're fighting" she jokingly threatened and he laughed.

"She's grown more than I would have thought" he said. "When you see her all the time it's like you don't even realize how much she grows. She can hold her head steady now! She couldn't do that before I left."

"We're never going to be able to witness every landmark" Blair said. "I didn't see her holding her head steady for the first time either. It was my mom who noticed it."

"You know, it's about a year now since we found out you were pregnant" he said, thoughtfully gazing on the calendar on her wall. "A year. In only one year's time you carried a baby to term and she grew big enough to be able to hold her head up on her own. That's pretty weird. Makes you wonder how much will happen within the next twelve months."

"She will be walking and talking a year from now."

"I know, can you imagine?" He chuckled. "We spend about a year eagerly waiting for the baby to walk and talk, and then we spend the rest of our lives trying to get her to sit still and shut up."

"What's with all the new philosophical musings?" Blair couldn't help but ask with a giggle. "Someone returned from Thailand with a bit of wisdom."

"I feel like today I've slowed down for the first time in… in I don't know how long. It's been one thing after another since Bart died and I've been running as fast as I can since that night, and now I'm finally not running anymore."

"Good" Blair said.

"Do you mind if I stay just a little longer?" he asked. "I'll put her down soon; I just want to sit like this with her for a short while more."

"Stay as long as you'd like" Blair smiled. "Just let me do one thing…"

She got up and walked over to her dresser, where she had spotted Dorota's camera. She picked the camera up and took a picture of Chuck and Grace. She then sat down on her bed and opened up her laptop.

"I'm sending you this" she said. "You should see how connected the two of you look right now. Father and daughter."

He chuckled.

"I got philosophical during the past weeks and you became sentimental."

"It's not sentimentality" Blair argued with a crooked smile. "It's just something I really think you ought to see. Maybe it can be a reminder to you if you forget that there are people who depend on you."

He shrugged a shoulder, carefully.

"Truthfully Blair, we both know she doesn't depend on me. She depends on you, but I could have been removed from the equation completely at any point and it wouldn't have made any real difference. I'm not saying I won't matter if I stay in her life and we end up forming that bond we've been working on since her birth but… The role of father figure could easily be filled by whoever your boyfriend and later husband will be."

She studied him discreetly for a minute. She wanted so much to say something to him about how the man she wanted as her boyfriend would be more than just a father _figure_ but she couldn't find the courage to do so. She settled for sending the picture to his e-mail, closing her computer and giving him her most loving smile.

"That's where you're wrong Chuck" she said. "Grace knows who you are. She knows you're more than just some person who comes to visit a lot. Look how peacefully she's sleeping in your arms. She knows that you are her father and it matters to her."

"I suppose it does. I thought I could leave and she wouldn't be affected. She wouldn't even remember me a few years from now. But she remembers me now."

"Of course she does. You know Bass… She's not the only one who cares very deeply about you. Grace wouldn't be the only person to miss you if you went away for good. Despite whatever low self-image you might have… remember that you matter to people."

He didn't answer. He just closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and seemed to relish in the moment for as long as it would last.

* * *

An hour later Chuck arrived back to the penthouse he hadn't set foot in for over a month. He walked inside his bedroom, finding it strangely empty. He was used to being alone in here but it still seemed unusually lonely to be there by himself. He hadn't been in this room since his father died. He had planned on going back to his room at the Palace but somehow he had ended up here instead. Now he didn't have the energy to turn around and go back out.

He sat down on the bed, and then moved so he was lying down on his side. He felt almost too exhausted to move a muscle. He had been running for a month and things had just piled up during that time. Now it seemed like there were too many issues to deal with. He just wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep and not wake up for another month.

He had only felt okay twice since his return from Thailand. Up on the roof of Victrola, in Blair's arms. And earlier today, the time he had spent one-on-one with Grace followed by being with both Grace and Blair. Now that he was with neither Blair nor the baby he felt all alone again.

Someone knocked on the door. If it was Lily he would show her just how many insulting words he could think of to call her. He didn't even realize that Lily wasn't even in New York at the moment. He had made sure to stay the hell away from her, having nothing but venom in his heart for her. He still believed she was the reason his father was dead and all for that loser Rufus Humphrey.

The door opened and Serena walked in. He hadn't seen her since the funeral, where she had taken Dan Humphrey's side. He had a lot of nasty things he would like to say about her as well, but he felt too tired to even speak.

"Hey…" Serena said.

He didn't answer. Hopefully she would get the hint and get the hell out. Sadly she didn't seem too good at hint-getting at the moment. She stepped inside and closed the door, leaning back against it.

"You came back."

"I shouldn't have. Thailand was delightfully free of van der Woodsen women. And their trashy Humphrey lust interests."

"I wasn't sure you would come back."

"We're not siblings anymore so I don't see how that affects you."

He was speaking in a monotone, half his face pressed against the pillow, muffling his words. Serena seemed to hear him well enough anyway.

"I was scared Chuck… Scared that you wouldn't come back. Scared that you would walk away and that Blair's little girl would never get to know you."

"Since when do you care if anybody knows me?" he asked. He rolled over on his back and groaned. "Don't tell me you're suddenly the new advocate for my rights to my daughter. Did Bart appoint you in the case of his death?"

"Not an advocate for your rights to her" Serena said. "But for her rights to you."

"What?"

"Chuck I grew up without my father. He just up and left when I was four. All my life I've wondered _why_, and what my life would have been like with him in it. Why my father didn't love me enough to stay."

"So?"

"I don't want that for Blair's baby. I care about that little girl, and nobody should have to grow up the way I did, constantly wondering about the parent who abandoned them. Constantly wondering why their parent didn't love them enough to stay."

"And you thought I would up and leave for good, never caring to check in on her? Just go on about my life somewhere without ever thinking about the fact that I at some point had an infant?" Chuck snorted, in spite of how close he had come to choosing that option. "People really do have zero faith in me."

"I'm just relieved you came back."

"You came to tell me that?"

"Yeah, that… And to tell you for serious how important it is that you never leave her. Do you get it, Chuck? If you leave it's going to affect her entire life, and every relationship she ever has. Don't do that to her."

"Why would I abandon her?" Chuck asked. "I love her."

"Good."

"And I want to see her grow up."

"I'm glad to hear you say that."

"Now if you're done assuming that I'm a wretched father who would permanently walk out on my baby because I needed time away to try and deal with the loss of my own father, could you please get out and leave me the hell alone?"

Serena nodded. If she had been thinking what he just described she would have been right but he was already busy ret-conning things in his mind. Now that his mind was a bit clearer he didn't want to think about how close he had gotten to walking out completely. He hoped he wouldn't have been able to do it, that once the fog had lifted he would have come back. Even if it had been too late at that point he needed to believe that he would have returned.

"It's good to have you back Chuck" Serena said.

"You're a horrible liar."

She didn't take the bait. Instead she left the room and he was alone again. He closed his eyes and rolled over on his side to get some sleep but as he did he realised he had something in his pocket. Groggily he rolled over on his back again and reached inside his jacket to see what he had there and realised he was holding Bart's letter to Grace. He stared at it for a moment, wondering if he had ever really known his father. He would have never predicted that his father would have sat down to write a letter to Grace in the event of his death when she was only a few months old. He knew Bart had made adjustments to his will after the baby was proven to be Chuck's but the thought of Bart writing a letter to a little baby just seemed weird.

He put the letter on his nightstand, deciding to place it in the safe tomorrow morning once he had gotten some rest. He wasn't really curious to know what the letter said. It was something between his father and daughter and when Grace was old enough she could read it. In all likelihood it was just Bart explaining why he had chosen to give her five percent of the company, an amount that was too small to be anything but symbolic. Even if the letter did hold some deep insight to Bart's character and to things Chuck had not been able to understand, the letters was not his to read. It was Grace's and it would remain unopened until the baby had grown into a teenage girl.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay having her for a whole day?" Blair asked worriedly, adjusting the hat on Grace's head.

"Blair I've had her overnight before" Chuck pointed out, holding the baby in a firm grip while Dorota finished packing a bag. "I know to give her the vitamin drops, I know to-"

"I know" Blair quickly said. "I just… I mean you've had kind of a chaotic time lately and everything. Are you sure you're ready to have her today? It might be too soon."

"Yesterday you were all about me and Grace spending time together" Chuck pointed out.

"I still am, but maybe baby steps are in order after the kind of month you've had?"

"Blair I'm fine" Chuck said. "It's just for a few hours. I'll bring her back here right before dinner. I'm not going to do anything fancy with her, just let her get readjusted to being around me. She'll probably be asleep most of the time anyway."

"She's bigger now" Blair pointed out softly. "She doesn't sleep for hours every day anymore. She's beginning to learn to sleep at night."

"Bag is ready" Dorota announced.

Blair smiled sadly and reached out her hand to caress Grace's cheek. When Chuck had asked her to have the baby for the day she hadn't been able to say no even though it made her nervous. Before Bart's death she would have been pleased by him asking her for something like that but after seeing him balance up on the roof of Victrola she wasn't convinced that he was really ready for that yet. She didn't worry about the baby's safety, the thought of him drinking, doing drugs or zoning out while he was with the child was about as foreign to her as the thought of him sprouting wings. He had always been concerned with the baby's physical safety regardless of his emotional attachment or lack thereof. She was more worried about him. He might get overwhelmed by having the sole responsibility of an infant for a day so soon after having tried to run away from all responsibilities forever. Or he might use his daughter to prevent himself from thinking about Bart.

"We're off then" Chuck said. "Relax Waldorf. It will be fine."

"Shouldn't you be at school?" she blurted out.

"I went to school for the first half of the day. I didn't like the way people were looking at me. Besides, all I have today after lunch is French and Chemistry. Hardly important. You really don't have to worry Blair. Grace and I will be fine."

She smiled weakly and kissed the baby's cheek. Chuck took the bag from Dorota and flung it over his shoulder.

"See you in a few hours then."

"Have fun."

Nervously biting her lower lip Blair watched them leave and then looked down at her school books. She needed to study, she knew that. She just hoped everything would go okay. She took a seat by her writing desk, opened one of her books and did her best to concentrate.

* * *

Chuck leafed through one of his father's folders about the company and tried to understand much of anything. He knew he had basic know-how of how to run a company, having spent seventeen years with Bart Bass after all, but there was a whole lot he hadn't learned yet. He knew he had a lot of work to do but somehow he would make it work with school and the baby. Now that he was finally beginning to feel connected to her he didn't want to take any steps back.

There was a knock on the door and he looked up. He tossed the folder aside, almost relieved to have an excuse not to read it, and went to open the door. His uncle was standing there. He hadn't seen him since yesterday when he told him he was keeping the company after all. He wondered how angry Jack was but his uncle seemed fairly calm.

"So you're back here" Jack said, walking past Chuck into the suite. "I stopped by last night… I was beginning to wonder if I would have to go out on another search and rescue mission."

"I'm back for good" Chuck said. "I was just… out last night. Look if this is about the company I've made my decision."

"I know" Jack said. He walked further inside and saw the baby sleeping in her carry-cot on the table. "I understand wanting to hold the reins to your child's legacy."

"And my father's legacy" Chuck added.

"Yeah. I owe you an apology. You are Bart's son and it is your rightful place. In fact that's why I'm here. To show you that I'm supportive of your decision."

"That's kind of you" Chuck said, taking a seat on the couch and reaching out to adjust Grace's shoe.

"There's a board meeting in ten minutes. As the new head of the company you need to be there."

"Ten minutes?" Chuck echoed. "I can't. I have Grace for the day."

"Bart had you every day and he still managed to run the company" Jack pointed out. "Meetings will be held regularly throughout this company's existence. Meetings you need to attend. You knew that already."

"I know" Chuck said. "But I only have her for a few hours. Where am I even supposed to find a sitter in ten minutes notice?"

"Leave her with me" Jack shrugged. "Call a sitter, go off to your meeting and I'll stay until the sitter gets here."

"I wouldn't even know where to _find_ a sitter."

"Believe it or not this is your lucky day" Jack said. He placed his phone on the table and pushed it closer to Chuck. "The number for the service Bart used when you were younger is still in my phone."

Chuck eyed the phone skeptically. He didn't even recall his father having used any baby-sitter service. He had had au-pairs, a few nannies and while there had also been a couple of sitters he hadn't thought they were from a service.

"The company is in turmoil Chuck" Jack said. "Bart's death has turned everything on its head. I support you as the new chairman but to the rest of the board you're a seventeen year-old with no experience. You need to show up at that meeting and make them believe in you."

"Yeah but I can't just…" Chuck began.

He was cut off by Jack's phone starting to ring. It was on vibrate and the noise it made against the table woke the baby up and startled her. She began to cry and Chuck got up and lifted her into his arms.

"Mind answering that?" he frowned.

Jack quickly grabbed his phone and ignored the call. Once the noise stopped Chuck was able to soothe the baby but she was awake now and probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep again anytime soon.

"Just call a sitter" Jack said again. "I told you, I'll stay with her till they get here."

"No, never mind" Chuck said. "I don't think she's going to start crying again. I'll take her with me to the meeting."

"Take her with you?" Jack echoed. "Nephew…"

"If I had known there was a meeting I would have picked her up at her mother's _after_" Chuck said. "Or at least gotten a sitter in good time. I don't trust baby-sitting services and I would like to interview whoever's going to look after her before I leave her with them. She's going to have to come with me."

Jack tried to protest but Chuck ignored him. He grabbed Grace's purple pacifier and placed it in her mouth, then he grabbed the carry-cot. He didn't want to put her down right away but if he was going to sit through a whole meeting it was probably better to be able to put her down for a while during. He headed for the door with Jack in tow.

"Chuck, come on" Jack said. "I can interview this person. Bart used that service, how bad can they be?"

"Let's not get into a discussion about my father's aptitude as a parent."

"Everyone uses sitters."

"Look Jack I appreciate it but bringing her with me is the lesser of two evils" Chuck said. "Get the door for me, will you?"

Realizing he was not going to win Jack sighed and opened the door. Chuck walked out with the baby and hurried for the elevator. He knew he could have just left Grace with Jack for an hour but he didn't feel comfortable with it. Jack had been around a lot when Chuck was little but Chuck could never recall his uncle baby-sitting him. Either it wasn't something Jack enjoyed doing or Bart hadn't trusted him with it. Neither option made Chuck want to entrust his own baby with his uncle. He was fond of Jack but he didn't quite trust him with matters like these. In a way it would feel like handing the baby over to another teenager, one who had next to no experience with infants. Better then to take her with him to the meeting. It would be unprofessional but if he had only been informed about the meeting in advance they wouldn't have that problem to begin with.

He reached the proper floor and hurried up to the conference room. He still had a few minutes left before the meeting began. With one hand firmly holding the baby he handed the carry-cot to a secretary sitting by a desk outside the room and opened the door. The secretary looked at him like she wanted to say something but didn't. Ignoring her he walked inside the conference room and stopped. The entire board was already there, apparently in the middle of a discussion, and seeing all those people turn around and look at him disapprovingly made him unsure. It didn't look like they were minutes away from beginning, it looked like they were in the middle of their meeting. It also looked like half of them had no idea who he was and were annoyed with the teenager showing up with a baby.

"Yes?" one of the board members said impatiently.

"Charles" one of the senior board members said, recognizing him. "Please, let us express our condolences. Bart's passing is a true tragedy... But why exactly are you here?"

Chuck studied them, each and every one in the room staring at him like he clearly didn't belong there. He adjusted his grip on Grace and fought the urge to scoff at them. They may have worked for Bass Industries for years, decades even, and they may have contributed to making the company as big as it was today. But they all worked for him now.

"As I'm sure you've been informed…" he began. "My father left the company to me in his will. I'm here because it is my rightful place."

He ignored their looks, some shocked and some disapproving. The board member who had addressed him by name but whose name Chuck couldn't recall at the moment took a look around and then harked.

"It might have been more appropriate for you to have joined us forty-five minutes ago when the meeting started" he said. "And perhaps next time you might want to find someone to look after the infant. Babies are… not quite fitting at a board meeting, wouldn't you agree?"

Chuck did his best not to let it show that he was surprised. Forty-five minutes ago? Someone had given Jack the wrong hour for the meeting. Now he not only looked unprofessional for arriving with a baby in his arms, he was also almost an hour late. There was no way he could just sit down and join the meeting now without admitting that he had the wrong time and thereby losing too much face. Instead he made a change of plans instantly.

"I'm not here to partake in the entire meeting" he said, sounding as confident as he could. "And I will let you go back to your session momentarily. I'm just here to let you all know that I will in fact be taking over Bass Industries and since most of you clearly haven't done your homework and all stared at me like I was a messenger boy when I walked in the room perhaps I should clarify that I'm Charles Bass. And this…" He nodded to the baby who was looking wide-eyed at all the people in the room while sucking quietly on her pacifier. "This is Grace Waldorf, the future of this company. In case you need clarification that means she is my child and Bart's granddaughter."

"Of course" one of the board members said, now with a smarmy smile on his face, and got up from his chair. "Charles and little Grace."

"We were… surprised to hear Bart had left the company to you" another board member piped up. "But if he had confidence in you then…"

The man trailed off and Chuck resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They weren't very skilled in hiding their lack of confidence in him though he couldn't really fault them for having doubts. As far as they knew he was Bart's delinquent teenage son and most successful companies weren't run by high school students with small children. He decided to spare both them and himself much more of this and nodded to the man leading the meeting today, making a mental note to learn the names and faces of all the board members before the next time he saw them.

"I believe I have taken up enough of your time" he said. "I will see you all at the next board meeting."

After exchanging some half-hearted pleasantries with some of the board members he was finally able to leave the room. The secretary outside looked up and he shot her a death glare while he picked up the carry-cot.

"What a cute little baby" the secretary piped up.

"The next time they decide to schedule a board meeting you contact me first" Chuck said firmly.

"You're Chuck Bass, right?" the secretary said, looking a touch unsure.

"That's right. And from now on I run this show."

Sighing with annoyance he walked towards the elevator. Managing the company and the baby would be difficult. But he was damn sure not going to give up easily.

"We're going to show them all who runs this show, aren't we?" he said to Grace while he stepped on the elevator. "You know, when you're older I'm going to have to tell you that the first time you attended a board meeting was at four months of age."

When he arrived back to his suite Jack was gone. Glancing at his wristwatch Chuck saw that he had three more hours before Grace was due back home. It still felt a little funny being around her and he had to admit that the intense attachment he had felt towards her the other day had somewhat faded. But he knew he had taken a step that could never be undone. He felt like an actual father to her now.

* * *

I really hope Chuck's feelings towards Grace didn't seem to come out of nowhere. I've been trying to write in subtle hints that he's growing more attached to her without realizing it for a few chapters now but it's hard for me to tell whether it works or if he seems like he's going from 0 to 100 in this chapter. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.


	37. Chapter 37

For starters I sincerely want to thank all of you who have given me encouragements lately while I've been struggling with my writer's block. Your comments and support have meant a lot to me. Since you have been so kind and supportive I feel I should tell you one of the main reasons behind my writer's block and give you a bit of a heads up. I'm saving this for the end note however =)

Instead I'll set this chapter up by telling you how glad I am that you didn't feel like Chuck had pulled a 180 in the last chapter. That really was my main worry with that chapter and it's a big relief to know it didn't seem to come out of nowhere =) This chapter, as the previous, is not being posted because my writer's block has ended. I decided I'd rather post it like this than sit and wait for inspiration which might take forever. I am not a very patient person lol. However this chapter is where I've really started having problems with how to have the characters act and react. Hopefully it won't seem like things happen too much out of the blue and it won't seem overly dramatic. If it does, be sure to let me know =) And don't be shy to give me tips and suggestions. I might be able to rewrite it and make it better thanks to some helpful advice!

Oh, and this chapter also borrows from the show, but not quite as much as the previous ones have. I think.

Enough of me talking!

* * *

"Blair!"

Blair turned around on her way out on the yard and saw Serena hurrying up to her. She stopped and waited for her to catch up. Serena grabbed a hold of her arm and seemed to be distraught over something.

"You look weird S" Blair said with a little frown.

"You don't" Serena noted, wrinkling her nose and studying Blair carefully. "Don't tell me something _good_ happened for once? Did Grace start talking?"

"Yeah" Blair said. "She said: '_Mom, my auntie is a moron_'. She's four and a half months Serena."

"Yeah I know that" Serena said, rolling her eyes. "I was attempting to match your oh so clever wit. Seriously though it's nice to see you in good spirits for a change. What happened?"

"Chuck."

"Blair" Serena groaned. "Out of all the times to get a flair up of Chuck-fever do you really think this is the best one?"

"I'm having no such thing" Blair frowned. "This has nothing to do with _me_ and Chuck. It has to do with Grace and Chuck. Since he's been back he's really taken a whole new interest in her and yesterday he asked me to let him have her for the day. Which went really well."

"That's disturbing" Serena frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"No, no I mean… It's great. Really, it is. It's just… don't you think he might be focusing everything on the baby to avoid having to deal with reality? I think it's great that he shows such an interest but it's an awfully heavy burden for a little baby to bear, helping her dad through the loss of _his_ dad."

"I see you're taking psychology again this semester" Blair noted dryly. "You've got it all wrong. If anything I think what's going on is that losing Bart made him-"

"Losing Bart made him run off for a _month_" Serena pointed out.

"Two and a half weeks" Blair corrected.

"He ran away for that long without any contact between him and Grace and now he's going for Father of the Year. That doesn't strike you as a sudden change?"

"No, he's just spending more time with her. I think it's good for him, and for her. He's been through a lot. If this whole ordeal brings him closer to Grace then at least something good came of it. He's showing real responsibility."

"Okay" Serena said, sounding a touch skeptical still. "Just don't get confused, alright? I know how you feel about him and seeing him finally bonding with your little girl might put ideas into your head."

"There are no ideas" Blair insisted. "I've barely even seen him with the baby. He had her at the Palace yesterday."

"Okay."

"Anyway, forget about me for a second and let's talk about you. What's with the desolate face? Don't tell me you're grieving the loss of your stepfather. I know how close you were with Bartholomew."

Serena gave her a look.

"For the record I have cried over him. But no, that's not why I'm sporting this face today. Dan's been… Dan's been acting weird lately."

"I'll put that in my care box."

"I don't know what's going on with him" Serena complained. "When I got back from Argentina mom had gone off somewhere with his dad-"

"Tasteless. Tacky."

"Maybe Dan thinks so too, maybe that's what's bothering him."

"The guy practically lives on the corner of Tasteless and Tacky" Blair objected.

"Well there's something going on" Serena said.

"Don't worry, I'm sure whatever it is it will be just as unexciting as Dan himself" Blair said, patting Serena on the shoulder. "Now if you'll excuse me. I only have one more class before I'm done for the day and then I have to hurry home and get ready for my absolutely non-romantic dinner with Chuck."

"Wait, your what?"

Blair hurried off pretending not to have heard Serena's question. When Chuck had dropped Grace of yesterday they had agreed to have dinner together. Chuck had told her there were some things she needed to know about Bart's will that involved Grace and Blair was very curious to find out what they were. Still, he could have easily told her those things then and there. It would only have taken a few minutes. The fact that they were having dinner meant something else. A nice candlelit dinner might be just what he needed to help him through this trying period of his life. And if dinner happened to run late and he didn't want to have to head back home at such an hour he would be more than welcome to spend the night. She still hadn't let go of her dream of having him spend the night with her and the two of them spending the entire following day with Grace. Perhaps tonight would finally be the night.

* * *

Chuck got home from school and changed out of his uniform. Every time he set foot at St. Jude's he wished he had stayed in Thailand or dropped out of school. He was used to people staring at him because of some _Gossip Girl_ blast or other but the looks he had been given since he returned to school were ridiculous. Had they never seen a person who had just lost a family member before? He could take being the center of attention because he got drunk on school property or deflowered both Bronson twins on the same night without either sister knowing he was involved with the other, or because he became a parent a few days before senior year started. He did not however enjoy being at the center of attention because his father was dead. The looks of pity, the way people didn't seem to know how to talk to him, the way some didn't seem to be able to decide if they were spiteful or sympathetic. All of it made him want to be anywhere on the planet but for St. Jude's.

At least he would be having a nice evening. Dinner with Blair sounded really great right about now. He wanted to tell her about everything Bart's will had said and he hoped they could have their first real discussion about Grace's future since she had been born. Before the birth they had talked on several occasions about how they would raise the baby and about all sorts of details like surname, which schools she should attend and so forth. Once Grace had been born those talks had come to an end because there had been much more immediate issues to handle. Now seemed like a good time to start talking about all of it again. Grace was going to be the future of Bass Industries and that meant they had to start shaping her at an early age.

With a hint of a smile on his face he grabbed a tie and thought about the person he would be discussing all of this with. Blair had an incredible effect on him, now more than ever. Things didn't seem to suck quite as bad when he was with her. He wondered if she would dress up for him tonight. Would she be spending a lot of time getting ready? Was she setting up a candlelit dinner for them or making the setting friendly or strictly business? He would let her take the lead tonight and tell him what she was okay with. If all she wanted from him now was friendship then he would respect that, at least for now. But he hoped she still wanted more than that.

There was a knock on the door and he went to answer. It didn't surprise him at all to find Jack standing there.

"I heard there was a mix-up yesterday" Jack said, walking inside without waiting for an invitation.

"The meeting was scheduled an hour earlier than we thought" Chuck nodded, closing the door and following his uncle into the sitting area.

"I see you're without the little heiress today" Jack noted.

"Too bad they couldn't have scheduled the meeting for today" Chuck nodded. "Then again now I have more time to do my homework. Both St. Jude's and Bass Industries."

"Forget about that" Jack said. "Since you're free as a bird tonight I want to take you out to properly celebrate you running Bass Industries."

"I'm having dinner with Blair."

"Reschedule Blair."

"I can't. We haven't had a chance yet to talk about what Bart left Grace in his will. And she's been a good friend."

"Careful nephew" Jack said with a smirk. "The one thing that enables you to run the company is the baby spending much of her time with Blair."

"So?"

"So that look you just got in your eye when you mentioned Blair's name? Is that who you imagine Chuck Bass to be?"

"I'm not sure I follow" Chuck lied.

"You've got the hots for her, I get it. You share a child and tonight you're sharing dinner and then bodily fluids and before you know it you're sharing a penthouse opposite the Met. Is that really how you've envisioned your future? Spend all day at the office and go home to the wife and child? It's no coincidence your father had his most success when he was single."

The complacent smile on Chuck's face began to dwindle. Jack had touched upon two issues at once, both which mattered a lot to him. One was his general lifestyle, the kind of life he had always wanted to lead, and it had never included settling down and becoming a stereotypical family man before the age of forty. The other was the word '_success_'. He knew he had the odds against him with running the company. He knew it would take a lot more hard work than he could imagine now. And he had to be successful. It wasn't his company, not in his eyes, it belonged to Grace. He didn't want the company for himself but his new aim in life was to make sure it stayed successful so that his daughter could take over a company as good or better as what Bart had left behind. It had become like a mantra over the last few days, something he could channel everything into, something that gave him a steady spot to stand on in the middle of all the chaos. What if Jack was right? Bart had been single for sixteen years. Would Chuck really be able to run the company and raise a daughter _and_ be a good partner to Blair? For his own part he'd rather take Blair than Bass Industries any day of the week but he had no right to make that choice. If he did, how would he be able to look his child in the eye when she asked what had happened to the successful company she was supposed to inherit?

Jack could see the hesitation in Chuck's eyes and walked over to the door.

"I invited a few friends to join us" he said, opening the door to reveal a group of women. "I guess I'll have to entertain them on my own."

While his uncle smirked at him Chuck fought hard with himself. All he wanted to do was go have dinner with Blair and let it lead them wherever it might. Going with Jack and these women seemed about as appealing to him as having a root canal. But what if Jack was right and he would inadvertently be damaging Grace's inheritance by focusing only on his own desires? It was a huge gamble to take.

"Last chance" Jack grinned.

A few months ago Chuck would never even have considered a peaceful dinner over a night out partying, especially when the latter was guaranteed to lead to sex while the former would probably get him to second base at best. He was still Chuck Bass. Blair would have to wait. They could talk in the morning.

He loosened his tie and grabbed his phone from the bar. Jack had already walked out the door with each arm around a girl and Chuck followed only a few steps behind. He wrote a quick text to Blair on his way out and decided he would call her up in the morning.

* * *

"Table is set, Mommy is dressed, dinner is being started on in a few minutes…" Blair said. "Now all we need is Daddy."

She smiled at Grace. She was holding the baby in her arms and had Chuck's scarf draped over her shoulders. Grace had a firm grip on the scarf and was sucking on a piece of it. Blair thought she looked adorable.

"Your grandfather left you something in his will" Blair told her. "We're going to find out what it is tonight. I know you would rather have Grandpa' but under the circumstances we'll have to salvage what we can. What do you say you and I team up to help Dad feel better, huh? I'm sure the two of us together can do wonders."

Blair's phone beeped and a smile spread across her face. She didn't even know why she was smiling like an idiot over getting a text. It might be from Serena or from anyone else really. But she hoped it was Chuck texting her to tell her he was coming over early.

"Come on, let's see who's texting Mommy" she said. "Dorota? Come hold Grace for me for a second."

Dorota came in from the kitchen and took the baby. Blair grabbed her phone and opened the message. Her smile quickly faded.

"_Sorry, working late. Next time…_"

Her heart sank down to her knees. He wasn't coming? And _that_ was the only message she got? They were supposed to talk about Grace's future. He couldn't do this. Why did he always have to take one step forward and two steps back?

"Mister Chuck running late?" Dorota guessed.

"A few days late" Blair replied. "Let me have Grace."

She took the baby back and walked up the stairs. She hated herself for feeling so disappointed. She shouldn't feel that way. It was just a friendly dinner, wasn't it? Two people sitting down to discuss what one's father had left their child in his will. She clung to that thought. Of course that was the issue here. The thought of sitting down to discuss his father's will had been too hurtful to Chuck. It was still so soon after Bart's passing. She had been inconsiderate to think he might be okay with having dinner to talk about Grace's inheritance. The whole thing had a perfectly good explanation.

"Just you and me again tonight kid" she sighed to Grace. "Damn it, why does something always happen when we're about to spend an evening together? It's not fair. I mean, I know it's insignificant compared to Bart dying, but it still isn't fair."

She sat down in her armchair and sighed heavily, hating this disappointed feeling that felt far too common these days. The other day when she had seen Chuck with Grace for the first time since Bart's death she had believed they had reached a turning point. From that point on they would be steadily moving towards one another. If he felt the same way about her as she did him then how could they not? But if he felt that way about her why would he cancel?

An hour later she had just sat down to have dinner on her own when she got a text. She saw that it was from Chuck and quickly opened it, hoping he was texting to say he was done working sooner than expected and would be over after all.

"_Sorry about tonight. Reschedule? Lunch tomorrow?_"

She pouted. Lunch wasn't nearly as exciting as dinner. But it was better than nothing.

"_Lunch sounds good._"

A minute went by and then she got a text back.

"_I'll be at BI offices at the Palace. Conference room 12 o'clock. Perfect place to talk about Grace's future._"

God, this sounded less romantic by the second. Then again she was still a bit angry with him for having left for weeks and maybe taking things slow was the best course of action. She didn't want to scare him off further by pushing too hard when he was trying to deal with Bart's death and his budding attachment to their child.

She got another text from him and realised she had forgotten to answer his previous one. She read the new text and a smile spread slowly across her face.

"_Bring Grace. We can let her nap in my suite after lunch and talk about more… adult matters._"

* * *

The phone in his hand beeped and he opened it to read the message from Blair.

"_We'll be there. Can't wait!_"

Jack put the phone away in his pocket, glaring at his nephew from the corner of his eye. Chuck had managed to sidestep his first trap but walked right in to the second. The plan the previous day had been for Chuck to leave Grace with Jack and go to the meeting, at which point Jack would leave the room and make sure Blair came over to find her baby unattended. If the service Chuck would have called had arrived before Blair did it wouldn't have helped matters since the number Jack had offered was actually the number for an entirely different kind of service. It would ruin whatever relationship there was between Blair and Chuck, hopefully detach Chuck from the baby and thereby diminish his ambition to run the company for her and paint him as irresponsible in the eyes of the board. No board member in their right mind would be okay with the company being run by a seventeen year-old who arrives late to meetings and leaves his infant child alone in a hotel room, or worse, leaves her with unsuitable company. But Chuck had somehow managed to come out on top by bringing Grace with him to the meeting and according to Jack's intel convinced the board that he was not late to the meeting, he was merely stopping by to assure them all of who the new boss was.

This time he had walked right into the trap and was stepping further into the quicksand with each passing minute. Jack would get him drunk, get him stoned and get him laid, then get him to the Palace and drop him off in the conference room with at least two of the prostitutes he had hired. When Blair showed up with the baby to have lunch she would be in for an unpleasant surprise. Chuck would then be getting a surprise in form of the members of the board walking in to have another meeting which Jack would call to in the morning. While it wouldn't be as disastrous to Chuck's relationship with his child and her mother it would still put a significant blow to it. As for the board, it really was a shame his nephew hadn't bothered to read the fine print and spot the morality clause. The moment Chuck had stepped out the door to spend a night of debauchery with his uncle he had lost the company.

Jack cast another glance at Chuck who was making out with one of the hookers. In a way he felt bad for his nephew. But he couldn't sit back and watch Bass Industries fall into the hands of a stupid, irresponsible teenager when Jack had worked so hard for so long and earned his right to run it. If Bart wanted to stick it to Jack by handing the company to Chuck then Jack would retaliate by destroying Chuck to get it back. It would have been different if Chuck was older. Bart changing his will to leave the company to his son would have made sense if his son was in his late twenties. Who in their right mind left something that important in the hands of a teenager? It was a shame that Chuck would have to pay the consequences of his father's stupidity. Though Jack couldn't muster up too much sympathy. All Chuck would have had to do was to go to dinner with Blair tonight and all of what was to come would have been avoided. His nephew was easily manipulated and it only proved further that he couldn't be trusted with the company.

By this time tomorrow Jack would have Bass Industries and Chuck… well he would have the consequences of his choices.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Blair asked Grace.

Feeling a touch nervous she stepped off the elevator and headed for the conference room. She wasn't sure why she was nervous. It was just a lunch meeting with Chuck, discussing business. Then again it might be more than that. In spite of last night's disappointment she was getting her hopes up for a happy ending to this day. With a smile to the baby she knocked on the door to the conference room and then opened it.

"Hey, we're…"

She stopped mid-sentence, jaw falling. Chuck looked equally surprised to see her. He was sitting on the large table that took up most of the room, shirt unbuttoned, hair in disarray and his hands all over the two very lightly clad women he was with. There were cigar-butts on the mahogany table, an empty bottle lying on the floor and right next to Chuck was a bag of pills which Blair didn't recognize but she knew for sure that they weren't there for medical purposes. With a gasp Blair turned Grace's head away from the sight, as if it would corrupt her to see her a scene like this.

"Chuck!" Blair gasped.

"Blair" Chuck frowned, embarrassed at being caught like this and angry with himself for feeling embarrassed. "What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

Before she could answer she heard voices outside the room and the next thing she knew Jack pushed the door open and stepped inside, followed by the board of Bass Industries.

"Now if we can all take a seat we could…" Jack said, trailing off when he spotted Blair and Chuck.

"Jack what is going on?" Blair asked with a hiss.

"What the hell is this?" Chuck asked in a slur.

"I might ask you the same question" one of the board members said with a highly disapproving look on his face.

Chuck quickly nudged the two women away and got down from the table while buttoning his shirt. Blair gave Jack a confused look, wondering what the hell was going on. With a smirk Jack leaned in closer to her.

"Guess I shouldn't have left him unattended after the kind of night we've had" he said with a very content leer.

"Chuck was with you last night? But…"

She turned her head back to Chuck who had now taken a few steps away from the women and was standing face to face with a few of the board members.

"There's no board meeting scheduled for today" Chuck insisted.

"Jack Bass called an emergency meeting this morning" the board member Chuck now recognized as Pete Holmberg said.

"A what?" Chuck said, looking over at his uncle. "Look I… I had no idea any of you would be here."

"Clearly" Holmberg said. "We knew this was your reputation. When we heard your father had left you the company we were hoping he knew something we didn't. Apparently that's not the case. Might I add that on a personal level I would have hoped you at least left Bart's granddaughter out of your debauchery. I don't know what Bart was thinking."

At the mentioning of Grace Chuck turned around and looked at Blair and the baby. He couldn't make sense of any of this, least of all her presence. She shook her head with disappointment and left the room. Ignoring the board members Chuck followed after her, pissed that she would show up out of the blue like that just in time to make things worse.

"Blair!" he called after her.

"What Chuck?" she asked in an angry snarl.

"What the hell do you think you're doing showing up here unannounced?"

"Unannounced?" she echoed. "You _invited_ me."

"No I didn't."

"You texted me last night."

He looked very confused. She snorted.

"Maybe you were just stoned off your ass and didn't know what you were doing. Clearly you can't remember it now."

"Well whatever the case…" he said. "I have more important things to attend to."

"Yeah those hookers won't entertain themselves" Blair snorted.

"Drop the offended act" he shot back. "Stop trying to chastise me at every turn you are not my mother and you sure as hell aren't my wife."

He pressed the elevator button for her and strode off in another direction. She watched him walk off and then got on the elevator, wondering how much more of this she could take.

* * *

Chuck found his uncle in Bart's office a while later. He had realised that going back in with the board members wouldn't do him any favors at the moment so he had gone up to his suite and taken a shower and changed his clothes. The meeting was over by now and Jack sat behind Bart's desk with his nose buried in some documents.

Chuck walked slowly up to his uncle. It hadn't been difficult to figure out what had really happened today. Jack had played him for a fool and he had made it far too easy for him to do so. What he couldn't figure out was why. He had been brought up to trust no one on earth save for a selected few. He had trusted Nate, Serena and Blair never to betray him but he didn't feel like he could count on that anymore. And he had trusted family. No matter what happened Bart would have never done something like this to him and it shocked him that Jack could. You didn't sell out family. No matter what.

He put his hands on the desk and leaned over, fighting against the headache that was partially caused by a hangover and partially because of everything he had been through lately. Jack looked up with disinterest and then returned to the documents.

"The only family I have left is a four month-old baby… and you" Chuck said. "How could you do this to me?"

"You did it to yourself" Jack said. "I told you that you weren't ready. Clearly I was right."

"You have your own life, your own company."

"Sure" Jack said. "In Australia. My dear brother literally placed me on the other side of the world."

The animosity in his words surprised Chuck. He had never guessed that there was such ill will between his father and uncle. Clearly Jack was a very bitter man but he had managed to hide it up until now. Suddenly it made sense that he hadn't been able to make it to the funeral. He had had a week to get from Australia to New York and he hadn't made it in time. Chuck hadn't given any thought to it earlier but suddenly it was all quite clear.

"I did everything right" Jack went on. "I ran that place without complaint and it thrived under my watch."

Bitterly Chuck felt a touch of recognition in his words. Clearly he hadn't been the only one striving for Bart's approval without ever seeming to be able to get it. But he didn't feel sorry for his uncle. None of this was an excuse to do what he had done.

"And this is how he repays me?" Jack said with a bitter laugh. "By giving the company to a teenager who can't keep his pecker in his pants for twenty-four hours or even take care of the child he went and had."

"I wouldn't be so quick to take cheap shots if I were someone who couldn't even entertain a woman for more than five minutes."

"You can have that" Jack laughed. "I'll take Bass Industries."

"It's not yours to take. It belongs to Grace."

"Do you really think that bastard child is ever going to run this company? Do you think she'll ever even be interested? If her mother is anything to go by all she'll ever care about is lip-gloss and skirts. It doesn't belong to her or Bart would have stated as much in his will."

"My father gave it to me. When I get older I will give it to her. It's her legacy and you can't take that away."

"Actually," Jack said, "there is one stipulation attached to your appointment. Morality clause." He smiled with satisfaction at the look that came over Chuck's face. "Bart knew his son. He specified that should you in any way act inappropriately… the board has the option to replace you. I don't think I need to tell you what the meeting we just had was about."

"Replace me with whom?"

"Your legal guardian. Which, wouldn't you know it, is me. I'm in charge now. And I don't have to hand the company back to you or to that bastard of yours. It's up to me or to the board when I shall step down."

"That doesn't make any sense" Chuck argued. "I will be eighteen in four months, you will no longer be my legal guardian."

"Actually…" Jack said, rising from his chair. "This clause is effective indefinitely. Once you've been replaced its' up to the board to decide to take you back. And do you really think they will be wanting to do that within the next, oh I don't know, ten to fifteen years?"

"I can't trust you anymore" Chuck said. "And I won't just let this slide, I will find another way. That company will be Grace's one day and I will not have her inherit something that _you've_ been running whichever way you please."

"If you really cared so much about her future then maybe you should start by ensuring that you'll be part of her present" Jack said and walked over to the door, opening it.

He nodded to Chuck to leave but it took a moment before he could move a muscle. The depth of Jack's betrayal was starting to become clear to him. Feeling a chill down his spine he cast one last look at his uncle and then stormed out of the room.

* * *

Chuck walked inside Blair's building, feeling almost like he was in a state of shock after everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. He needed to see his daughter, he needed to see Blair, and he needed to apologize to them both. Especially to Grace, for having lost the company that was meant to be hers one day.

He felt more lost than ever. The death of his father had truly hit him hard and now that reality had begun to hit it never seemed to stop. One blow after the other. Grace's presence could help ease some of the distress. Her smell, the noises she made, the way she looked at him, all of it would serve to make him feel better.

While he rode up in the elevator he could already feel some of the humiliation and frustration from earlier in the day wash off of him. It was late in the evening but Blair had said he was welcome at any time to see the baby. If Blair thought it was too late and she wanted to go to sleep he could sit with Grace in another room. Or better yet, he could spend some time with Grace and then maybe the two of them could sleep in Blair's bed with her. Like a family.

He reached Blair's floor. She was there, waiting, haven gotten a heads up from the doorman when he arrived.

"Hey" he said softly. "I came to see Grace. And you. I'm sorry about earlier."

"You should leave."

He did a double take. He suddenly realized that she wasn't looking welcoming at all. Quite the opposite.

"Look I know I screwed up."

"Putting it mildly."

"Jack set me up."

"Don't try to blame it on Jack. All he did was give you a nudge. You could have come here last night. You could have gone to your suite with your hookers instead of to the conference room. You did it all on your own."

"Look Blair, I…" He paused and tried to find the right words to say. "I know what I did. I feel really bad about it. Things have just been so insane lately and-"

"Don't" she said. "Don't try to blame this on your father's death either. I've been more patient than anyone could ever ask."

"Blair I'm just… I made a mistake. I know that. Please… Please don't turn your back on me right now, I need you."

"Looks like all you need is a hooker and some drugs" Blair said. "I have tried being there for you. I really have. Yet you keep taking from me and then leaving me behind. I'm done. I can't do it anymore."

He swallowed hard and looked away while he tried to gather himself. He was starting to feel a strike of the panic he had been trying to repress all afternoon.

"Look, can I at least see my girl?" he asked.

"You shouldn't."

He stared at her with incredulity.

"Blair she is my daughter" he said. "I'm her father. You said the other day that I-"

"I know what I said" Blair said. "I'm saying something different now. Watching you self destruct is painful like you can't imagine but I'm at least old enough that I can protect myself and keep my distance to you if need be. Grace can't."

"Please I need to see her."

"You can't even manage your own life right now" Blair said. "Anyone who gets caught up in your spiral right now is at great risk of becoming collateral damage and I can't have that happen to her."

"I would never do anything to hurt the baby" Chuck argued, getting desperate.

"Maybe not consciously" Blair agreed. "But somehow she would get hurt anyhow. Just like I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt me all those times that you did. You already hurt her by leaving her for weeks. Chuck I… care so much about you. But I she comes first. And no one, not my best friend, not any family member, not my co-parent, not my partner, not even my soulmate…" She paused and looked down on the ground. "I can't allow anyone to risk hurting my baby. I care about you Chuck but I am Grace's mother and that takes precedence over everything else."

"And I am her _father_. I have a _right_ to be with her. Please Blair I _need_ this. And I think she needs it too."

"She needed you to not run away after her grandfather died" Blair said, looking up at him again.

"I was barely aware of what I was doing at that point."

"And you're saying you know better now?"

"I _need_ to see her" Chuck repeated. "She is the only thing keeping me sane at this point. We share custody of her, you cannot keep me away."

"Actually we don't" Blair said. "I have full custody and you have visiting privileges. Read the contract. It clearly states that for the first six months I have sole custody. Shared custody will be negotiated in February."

She wasn't giving him the whole truth, and she felt bad about that, but she knew it was the right choice. It was true that she had sole custody until Grace turned six months old but Bart had worked in a number of clauses that would make sure Blair couldn't keep the baby from Chuck, and which meant Chuck had the right to demand having Grace for the night once a week when she had turned four months old. Now was clearly not the best time for Chuck to be looking after the baby, the very thought scared Blair, which was why she lied by omission. She wondered if the reason why he wasn't throwing the actual terms of the agreement right in her face was because he had momentarily forgotten about it in his grief or because he hadn't cared enough before to learn what the contract actually said.

"Don't do this…" Chuck said, slowly shaking his head. "You of all people know the effect she has. You saw me with her the other day."

"And it was touching. I saw the difference in you. For the first time it was like she actually mattered to you. I know you feel like you need her Chuck. But she doesn't need you right now. I'm her mother, I protect _her_ interests."

"But I-"

"It breaks my heart to do this" she said. "You can see her again when you've gotten control over yourself."

"This isn't fair Blair."

"Not to you. But it wouldn't be fair to our daughter to put her in the middle of whatever it is you're going through right now. Think about what's best for her, Chuck."

"What's best for her is to be with the both of us."

"After what happened today can you really tell me that you're ready?"

"Blair I am seventeen years old and I just lost my father, cut me some slack. Don't you think you're judging me too hard?"

"You couldn't even stand up to Jack and make the right choice last night, probably _because_ you're seventeen years old and just lost your father. This isn't about who you are as a person, this is about the situation that you're in and how you're dealing with it."

"Look, it would be different if she were five years old and well aware of whatever mood I was in, and aware that I left earlier" Chuck argued. "She's just a baby Blair. All she knows is whether I'm there right now or not."

"She's a lot more aware than that" Blair said, not adding the accusation that if he had stuck around he would know that. "She knows if you're sad or angry or happy. She knows if you've left her for a while. At this age they absorb so much and I'm worried that she might be damaged from all that's going on. Get yourself together Chuck and then come see her."

"I can't believe you would do this to me."

"I'd throw you under the bus in a heartbeat to save her."

"What, are you saying that I'm _toxic_?"

"Aren't you? You're a mess and anybody would be in your shoes, but the fact that you spent last night gallivanting with hookers and blow, cancelling the dinner during which you were supposed to tell me what Bart left Grace in his will, tells me that you should keep away for a while. Your focus isn't on her anyway or you would have come here for that talk. Frankly I'm worried that your feelings towards her now aren't genuine and are only based off your own selfish need to mean something to someone."

"Blair _please_…"

His pleading tone and the look in his eyes nearly made her falter. But she knew she couldn't. She had to stand her ground even if it broke her heart to do it.

"You should go" she said.

"Don't do this."

"It's not forever. Just for now. If you care about her Chuck then you will get your act together first. It's our job to be there for her. It's not hers to be there for us."

"How can I be there for her if you won't let me see her?"

"I've given you chance upon chance" Blair said, shaking her head. She began to repeat what she had said earlier, as much for herself as for him. "You have always disappointed. I can't do this anymore. I can't watch you do this to yourself and I can't let you do any of it to her. I thought you and me were heading somewhere but we're not. I love her the most and I cannot let her get caught in your whirlpool of self-destruction. Maybe you will be more motivated to getting your life in order if you know that's what you need to do in order to be an active part of her life again. Either that or you will realize that you don't care about her after all. Either way it's the smartest option."

"How am I supposed to get back on my feet when I have no one left?"

"I tried to care about that but you pushed me away. Goodbye Chuck. Come back when you've gotten things straightened out."

"Blair…"

She looked away, unable to stand the pleading in his eyes. The elevator doors closed and he didn't press the button to open them again. She was well aware that she might have done a lot of damage to him but it was the lesser of two evils right now. Every instinct in her body screamed that she needed to keep a distance between him and her baby until he was reliable.

Chuck rode down in silence, staring blankly at the wall. Now he had nowhere left to go and no one left to lean on.

* * *

Blair glanced down at Grace to make sure she was okay. The baby was asleep in her crib, hugging a ball formed out of Chuck's scarf. Somehow it had become her security blanket but Blair didn't like the thought of the baby sleeping next to something that could potentially wrap around her and strangle her so she had rolled it up into something Chuck would probably find very undignified. She forced the thought of Chuck from her and tried to listen to Serena on the other end. She had called a few minutes ago in the middle of a crisis.

"Personally I think it's in really poor taste for Lily to have gone off with Rufus Humphrey before Bart's body is even cold" Blair said. "But I don't see how it means _your_ world has come to an end."

"It's not that they went on vacation it's _where_ they went" Serena said. "Mom got home an hour ago and she accidentally let it slip that they went to Boston to visit orphanages."

"How Dickensian" Blair commented.

"Something strange is going on and I think Dan knows what it's about" Serena said. "You have the number for a private investigator don't you? I think I need one. Normally I would turn to Chuck but I haven't been able to reach him all day."

"He's probably making sure another hooker has enough money to feed her young" Blair said bitterly.

She went over to her writing desk to look for the number for her private investigator. The sight of her desktop cover made her sad. It was still covered in post-its, many of them related to Chuck, and she didn't like looking at it. She especially didn't like looking at the one that reminded her of the negotiations of custody which was coming up in a few weeks.

Serena continued to talk on the other end while Blair searched for the number. She had just found it and relayed it to Serena when she heard a noise from downstairs. Her bedroom door was open and she stepped closer, wondering what was going on. She heard Dorota say Chuck's name and add that this wasn't a good time.

"S I've got to go" Blair frowned. "Call me back if the PI finds anything."

She heard Dorota trying to stop Chuck downstairs and braced herself for whatever this would be about. It had been twelve hours since he had shown up to see Grace and she had told him to stay away for a while. If he had gotten drunk and decided to try again she would have to take drastic measures.

She stepped out of her room just in time to see Chuck coming up the stairs, two steps at a time. He looked sober but not like he was in a good mood.

"Chuck" she said. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you-"

"Did you really think I wouldn't check the contract?" he snarled. "I get one night a week with her."

"Please Chuck just-"

"Save your breath" he said. He stopped right in front of her and gave her a look filled with contempt. "I just can't believe you would try to lie to me like that and force me away from my own daughter."

"I didn't try to force you to stay away from her forever" Blair pointed out, feeling a touch nervous. "_I_ can't believe that _you_ would expect me to happily send her off with you after the performance you put on yesterday. You are unfit right now."

"What the hell do you know about being unfit?" He pushed past her into her room and grabbed the diaper bag sitting by the crib. "I have the right to have Grace in my care for twenty-four consecutive hours every week. Whether you like it or not. You think you can stop me? I met with my father's family lawyer this morning and my father did a thorough job with that contract. You think I'm unfit? Call the cops on me then. They'll find me sober and lucid, no danger whatsoever to the infant. Grace is coming with me and that's the end of it. She will be returned to you in the morning so you can comfort yourself with that."

"You've lost your mind" Blair said just as Dorota came hurrying into the room. "You can't just walk in here and take the baby! For one she's sound asleep, you can't just wake her up. For another she nurses and I haven't pumped any milk since yesterday so we don't have any bottles for her."

"I bought formula."

"That's not good enough."

"It was for me when I was little. Dorota pack this bag and do it quickly."

"Dorota do no such thing! Chuck for crying out loud you didn't even want her at all last week and now you're saying you refuse to be kept away from her?"

"I was wrong and I wasn't thinking clearly! You've never lost a parent, hell you've never even lost a hamster, you have no idea what I have been going through or how it has affected me!"

"Maybe I don't" Blair said, trying to ignore the sting of pain that he felt she didn't understand him. "But you change directions so fast these days that I'm afraid of getting whiplash. Forgive me if I don't take your extreme devotion to her all that seriously when it came out of the blue just a few days ago."

"It didn't come out of the blue and this is not about… I'm not demanding that she stays with me all the time, hell even I know I can't handle that right now, but I do have the right to try and reconnect with her and I have the right to spend one day each week with her."

"You already had her for a few hours earlier this week."

"But not for as long as I have the right to!"

Their voices had grown louder and Grace was woken up in her crib and began to cry. Chuck strode over to lift her up but paused when he leaned over the crib. Then he turned to Blair with a frown.

"Is that my scarf?"

Blair ignored his question and took the opportunity to walk up and be the one to lift Grace from the crib. Then he would have to physically fight her to get the baby. She was scared now, she had never seen him like this before and it did absolutely nothing to make her feel like he was in the right mental state to look after Grace. Chuck saw what she was planning to do and quickly grabbed the baby and lifted her up.

"Well she's awake now" he said. "She's coming with me. And so is the scarf. Dorota pack her bag _now_."

"Dorota I said no" Blair said sharply.

"I'm leaving with her in three minutes, anything that's not in that bag by that time is something she will have to do without."

"Chuck please, think about this" Blair said, switching from angry to pleading. "Let's sit down and talk. You're angry, I get that, but don't take it out on her like this. You're _scaring_ her. Don't take her away like this, it will be too traumatizing. We can talk about this."

"You've already made your position quite clear" Chuck said. "Now I'm doing the same. I want to spend time with my daughter and I don't want it to be in three days or whenever you deem it appropriate. Today is as good a day as any."

"Fine!" Blair said, grasping for straws. "Just… just wait an hour or so, okay? You can stay here and wait, I promise! For goodness sake she's still in her PJs, you can't even take her outside like that, it's _January_. Wait a few hours, let things calm down. Just don't take her like this. Look at her, she's frightened!"

"She's fine" Chuck said, even though the baby was crying. "Dorota how's that bag coming along?"

Dorota shot Blair an apologetic look and handed the quickly packed diaper bag to Chuck. She knew when it was possible to argue with Chuck and when it was not. Grace would be leaving with him no matter what Blair said and it was better to make it as smooth as possible. The moment she had handed the bag to Chuck she grabbed Blair by the shoulders and pulled her a few steps back.

"No use arguing Miss Blair" she said. "Think of baby. Better not be dramatic."

"But he can't look after her" Blair said, bursting out sobbing.

Chuck gave her a look that under normal circumstances would have crushed her but right now she didn't give a damn what he thought of her. She watched him adjust his grip on Grace and fought the urge to try and wrestle the baby away from him. She had never doubted him with the baby until yesterday but right now she was terrified that he was too labile to be able to take proper care of the infant.

Chuck on his end felt betrayed by her in every way. He had always been good with the baby in the past even when she didn't evoke any paternal instincts in him and he had done a good job the other day too when he had had her for a few hours. Blair's sudden change of opinion on his parental capabilities hurt him deeply and felt like yet another piece of evidence that he was nothing but a screw-up. The fact that it came from her, the one who had previously had faith in him, made it all the much worse. He decided not to dignify her comment with an answer and instead prove her wrong by taking excellent care of Grace for the night and returning her in good shape.

"Where are her overalls?" he demanded to know, deciding that Grace could stay in her pajamas until they got to his place.

"I go get" Dorota said reluctantly and walked off.

"Chuck" Blair said, trying again to reason with him. "Think about this. Just take a deep breath and think. You're right, I can't forbid you to take her for the night. But do you really think this is the best way to go about it? We will be sitting down with attorneys in a few weeks to discuss the terms of our custody arrangement for the next few years. How do you think it will look that you disappeared for weeks, came back and tried to kill yourself, went on a bender, lost your company and then stormed in here to take Grace away in such a dramatic fashion?"

"You know me" he said. "In fact I think you know me better than any other now living person. You know I would never get drunk while I'm with Grace or do anything else reckless while she's under my care. I may be irresponsible with my own life and safety but never with someone else's. The fact that you would let attorneys think so just to get full custody of her disgusts me."

"I never said I would do that" Blair pointed out. "But you cannot seriously believe that this performance is going to weigh in your favor? For God's sake at least let me hold her for a second and calm her down!"

"I am perfectly capable of soothing my own child" Chuck snarled, the tone of his voice only upsetting Grace further.

"Chuck _please_" Blair pleaded. "Look at her. _Listen_ to her."

"If you just calm the hell down then we don't have a problem" Chuck replied. "You're the one upsetting her, not me. Or are you trying to imply that all of a sudden merely being held by me is enough to make her cry?"

Dorota returned with the overalls and Chuck sat down on the rug on the floor to get the overalls on the baby. Blair hurried over and kneeled next to him.

"At least let me help you with-"

"Back off" he said. "As if you're going to let me leave with her if you get a hold of her." He began trying to put the overalls on Grace. "Why are you doing this? You were the one who spoke of her rights to me, weren't you? She and I deserve to spend the day together and the only reason why this is at all difficult is because you're overreacting and triggering the baby."

"Overreacting?" Blair echoed. "You storm in here yelling about how you're going to take my child away without a moment's notice, without having anything to feed her with, and this after a cavalcade of irresponsible behavior on your part. We're not talking just a few hours here either and I'm really scared that you won't be able to handle having her for a full night."

"I've done it before, haven't I?"

"Not by yourself. Bart was always there."

She regretted the words the second they were out of her mouth but she couldn't take them back. Chuck froze and just glared at her for a moment. Then he snorted and grabbed the shoes Dorota had brought along with the overalls and put them on the baby's feet.

"I thought you were the one person who thought of me as something more than a screw-up" he said. "I actually thought you had _feelings_ for me. But you're just like everyone else. You're going to try to poison my daughter's mind against me when she gets older?"

"I wanted us to raise her together but the reality is you're not ready" Blair said, wiping away the tears that kept falling. "Chuck if I thought you were a permanently dangerous or toxic impact on Grace's life I would have pushed you off that damn building myself, regardless of how I may feel for you. I had faith in you, more than you perhaps deserved. I'm tired of being disappointed every step of the way. You have to take the time to work through your feelings after your father's death. Don't involve Grace in your grief. She will still be here when you're feeling better."

"You can't have it both ways" Chuck said, getting up from the floor with the baby. "Either you think I can be her father or you don't. I honestly don't give a damn which it is but you should know that when I want to see my daughter I _will_ see my daughter."

He walked out of the room with Blair in tow, her mind working overtime to find some way of making him stop. She hadn't expected this turn of events at all. Chuck could be dramatic but rarely like this. Clearly she had underestimated his newfound attachment to the baby but she still wasn't sure if it was coming from the right place. A dramatic scene like this was the last thing she would have expected from him which only reaffirmed her worry that he wasn't stabile right now.

As Chuck reached the bottom of the stairs the elevator doors opened and Cyrus and Eleanor came walking in, in a very good mood after meeting with a wedding planner.

"Hold the elevator" Chuck said.

"Mother!" Blair cried. "Cyrus. Please, help me get Chuck to understand that this is really bad for Grace."

"What is going on?" Eleanor asked, putting her bag down with a frown.

"Grace is spending the day and night with me" Chuck said. "Get used to it."

"Just like that? Why is she so upset?"

"Because he just barged in here and practically snatched her from her crib" Blair said.

"For the last time, the only one making this into a scene is you" Chuck shot back.

"Perhaps we should all sit down for a moment" Cyrus suggested. "Clearly this situation is not ideal, whatever it is that's going on. The baby belongs with her mother right now, the terms of the custody arrangements for the first six months state that she is the primary care giver."

"I spent the morning going over the terms of that arrangement," Chuck replied, "and they clearly state that I have the right to have her in my care for twenty-four hours each week."

"Yes but not to just storm in here and grab her whenever you choose" Eleanor objected, stopping in his path.

"I'm sure Blair would be more than happy to let you take care of Grace for a day if you just made an agreement in advance about-" Cyrus began.

"Look, you deluded little smurf!" Chuck snarled. "She's made it clear that she won't allow me near Grace. Too bad it's not her call to make. I didn't want this to have to happen this way but Blair made any other arrangement impossible by refusing to let me see my child. If she won't even let me spend five minutes with her with Blair herself in the room do you really think she would let me take Grace for a day?"

"Well you can't just waltz in here whenever you so please and stroll out of here with my granddaughter" Eleanor replied. "For one you're making her hysterical. Hand her over to me and we'll sit down and have an actual discussion about whatever is going on here." She looked over at Blair. "And you. I thought you wanted the father of your baby to spend more time with her. What's all this about?"

"I'm sorry Eleanor but I'm not handing her over to you or to anyone else" Chuck said icily. "I'm insulted that everyone is acting like I'm a raging alcoholic or an abusive parent coming to tear the child from her mother's loving arms. It's one day, it's in the contract and I have taken care of Grace before. We're leaving and if you have a problem with that then you can take some solace in the fact that once I return her tomorrow it will be a week before I get to spend time with her again. Ta."

He moved past Eleanor and stepped on the elevator. He held Grace closer and shushed her softly, mumbling an apology for all the tumult. He knew he might have turned Blair even further against him today but for the moment he didn't care. No matter what he did it ended up wrong anyway so he might as well go with the option that sounded best to him.

* * *

So that wraps up this piece of drama ;) The next update will follow either very shortly or in a few weeks' time.

Now as for what I was saying in the opening note… To make a long story very short, all this Dair nonsense on the show has really made me lose the passion I once had for "Gossip Girl". I don't mean to offend Dair shippers but I'm with Leighton Meester, Dan and Blair romantically involved feels like sacrilege to me. The loss of interest makes it kind of difficult to get creative right now, and here's where the heads up comes in. I can't say what will happen in a few months but I can tell you how I feel right now, and the way I feel at present is that if the season ends on a pro-Dair note I won't be watching season five. I don't need there to be a happy Chair ending to the season to keep watching but anything that suggests they will be doing Dan/Blair next season rather than Chuck/Blair and that's it for me. I might change my mind, but that's the way I feel right now. And if I stop watching the show, well, I probably won't keep writing fanfics for the show either.

This is not some sort of stunt to get people to tell me to continue, I'm not trying to get you guys to change my mind =) As I said I might feel differently in a few weeks, the season might end pro-Chair, I might want to keep writing even if it doesn't. This is in no way a "this story will stop updating in May" type message. But given the mind frame I'm in right now it might be over soon, or go on a multi-month hiatus, and I think all of you amazing people who have followed this story for almost forty chapters deserve to be treated with enough respect that I don't just stop posting from one day to another.

Now I feel like I've rambled on and I've probably repeated myself like eight times (I'm an expert at doing that) so I'm going to try and wrap this up. I am absolutely not asking you guys to tell me why I should keep writing, it is _definitely_ not because of lack of support from readers that I might stop (you guys have been amazing all along). And you never know, a month or so down the line I might look back at this message and wonder what the heck I was thinking. Hopefully I'm just being a drama queen right now ;)

As always I thank you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter in a review =)


	38. Chapter 38

The response to the previous chapter certainly was interesting =) Some thought Blair was a bitch and sided completely with Chuck, others thought Chuck was a jerk and sided completely with Blair. And some did not take sides at all. I take it as a positive when people can side with either one of two characters in an argument. The previous chapter was the one I struggled with the most with my writer's block. I had similar problems with this one but I decided to post it as-is also and let you people decide if it needs changing.

About whether or not this story will stop updating – if I decide to permanently put an end to the story I will give it a proper ending. If it's been ages since I last posted that just means I'm on hiatus ;)

Regarding anonymous reviews: I obviously don't have anything against getting them, or else I would have changed my settings so that you have to be logged on to give feedback. However anonymous reviews that complain about things that aren't about the story, reviews that complain about other reviewers or reviews that consist mainly of curse words and insults will be deleted. I very much welcome constructive criticism but blatant rudeness doesn't really help me improve.

* * *

By the time they arrived at the Palace Grace had calmed down. She seemed a little confused but otherwise okay. After changing her diaper Chuck realized that the hotel room didn't have a crib. He would have to send someone out to buy one or find out if there were cribs available somewhere in the building. They must have had parents with small children staying there before. In lieu of better options he gently placed Grace on the bed and lay down next to her, facing her. Despite all the drama earlier in the day she seemed at peace. Perhaps she had already realized that she had been born into the Upper East Side culture and drama was just something she would have to get used to.

He watched her with a hint of a smile on his face while she sucked on her pacifier. He placed his arm so that he was basically cradling her with his hand by her shoulder blades. He wanted the physical connection and she seemed to appreciate it based on the noise she made. Her big eyes began to close but she opened them again, struggling against sleep for a minute. He knew she would sometimes fuss when she was expected to nap but right now she was fine with it. He was quite tired himself but he wouldn't go to sleep until he had found her a crib to sleep in. Either that or he would let her sleep in the carry-cot. Letting her nap on the bed with him was fine for now but he didn't want to risk rolling over her in his sleep so it was better that she didn't spend the entire night in the bed. Or maybe she could stay in the bed and he could sleep on the couch.

His thoughts were interrupted by a persistent knock on the door. He tried to ignore it, figuring it was Blair. Another loud knock came and this time Grace was stirred from her slumber and began to cry. He sat up reluctantly, knowing that he couldn't pretend not to be home when Blair probably could hear Grace's crying out in the hallway. He soothed Grace and made sure she had her pacifier while he got up from the bed. Carrying the baby in his arms he walked to the door and opened it. To his surprise it wasn't Blair. It was Lily. Quite possibly the last person he wanted to see, save for Jack.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly.

"Serena told me Blair is terribly upset" Lily said in a tone that implied she was trying to be friendly. "I thought I should stop by and see-"

"See what? If I had accidentally sat on the baby? I don't want you here Lily. And I have the right to be with my daughter."

"I'm not saying that you don't" Lily assured him. "But I do think a hotel room is no place for such a small child. You should come home with her."

"I have no home."

"There's no need to be dramatic. You can spend the night and we can help you out with Grace. You have everything you need to take care of her there."

"She's perfectly fine here."

"You both need to be surrounded by the people close to you" Lily argued. "Surround yourselves with family."

"You're not her grandmother" Chuck said firmly. "You're the whore who was married to her grandfather for a brief period of time. She won't even know your name growing up."

"Believe it or not Charles I did love your father" Lily said.

"I don't believe it so you can stop trying to convince me. And you can get the hell out. I don't need you of all people to help me look after my child. If it wasn't for the fact that Serena and Eric both still live with you I'm betting you would have forgotten you even have children a long time ago."

"You don't have to see me" Lily sighed. "I just think it would be better for your little girl if you spent the night at home with her."

"We have a difference of opinion then" Chuck said. "And your opinion matters so little to me. Goodbye Lily."

He closed the door before she could say another word and with a sigh walked back into the room and sat down on the couch. He placed Grace on his knee so that she was facing him and she grinned and the pacifier fell from her mouth. He grinned back and picked it up from his lap. He realised he didn't have any toys for her to play with aside from a stuffed animal Dorota had sent with them and decided he would have to improvise. She seemed to respond favorably to his various attempts at entertaining her and he felt a bit better.

"Who needs Lily, huh?" he said to her after a while. "Trust me, you're better off without her in your life. You've had quite the shortage of dependable individuals around you but that is going to change."

He smiled sadly and stopped bouncing her on his knee. She reached out for something behind him and he turned his head and saw that he had thrown his much abused scarf over the back of the couch. He turned to look at her again with an eyebrow raised.

"You want this?" he asked. "Alright… But just for a moment, you hear? This is _Daddy's_ scarf and it's his signature to boot. It's not appropriate for people under the age of thirteen."

He handed the poor piece of cloth to her and she stuck it in her mouth, making him wrinkle his forehead with disapproval. But he figured he probably owed her a playing session with his scarf after having abandoned her for weeks.

"I won't leave again, you have my word" he said. "You're the only family I've got Grace. The only one left. I didn't realize you _were_ my family until it was almost too late but we're connected you and I. I want to be someone you have a close bond to. We're not really there yet but we're working on it, aren't we?" He smiled sadly. "Bart's gone now. Jack betrayed me… You and I we need to take care of each other. I promise you I will get your company back for you. I just hope you can promise me that you won't leave me too. I would kind of deserve it if you did but I need you. I thought I had your mother on my side but I guess I don't. For a while I thought maybe she was in love with me but I don't know what I was thinking. I'm telling you though I will turn things around. Perhaps someday I'll be a person worthy of her love. But you'll love me even before then, won't you? And I really think I love you too, odd as it feels to say it." He chuckled a little. "You know, I even see a bit of Bart in you. Which is really odd since I don't look like him. But you make a face sometimes which reminds me so much of him."

He heard her stomach growl and he raised an eyebrow at her. He got up and walked over to the dresser and put her down in the carry-cot standing there. She immediately protested but he needed both hands to get her something to eat.

"I got you some baby food" he said, holding up a jar from the bag of supplies he had bought earlier. "Don't know if you can eat this stuff yet but I figure there's only one way to find out."

A few minutes later sat down with Grace on his lap to try and feed her carrot purée. He had gotten her a bib which she wasn't too fond of having around her neck but after some fussing he managed to get her to sit up propped against one of his hands and eat a spoon full of purée.

"How's that?" he asked.

He studied her intently as he fed her another spoonful. She seemed fairly okay with eating it, although a tad confused as to what she was supposed to do with it once it was in her mouth. Most of it ended up around her mouth anyway rather than inside it. But after a while he had managed to get her to eat what he assumed was a full meal and he grinned at her while wiping her face carefully.

"Was that your first taste of something other than milk?" he asked. "Such a big girl… You'll be having caviar and pâté before you know it."

He got up and carried her into the bathroom to clean her off more properly. So far this was going well. Blair would have to admit that there was no reason for concern. He could see where she was coming from but obviously she had been wrong. He was ready to take care of Grace and when they renegotiated the terms of their custody agreement he would demand she spend more time with him than just one night per week.

* * *

Grace slept on the bed, a large pillow placed behind her so that she wouldn't accidentally roll over and fall off. Careful not to wake her Chuck got up next to her and propped up a few pillows so that he could lie comfortable next to her and read. He had sent Arthur out to get baby books and while Arthur had dryly pointed out that he was a driver and not an assistant he had eventually agreed to get the books in exchange for a large tip. When he got the books Chuck did a quick search online to find out which one was considered the best and started by reading that one. He had read up on babies before, while Blair was pregnant and the first month after Grace was born, but at that time he had been reading about newborns and children in their first few months. Grace had been born in late August and it was now January, she was more than four months old and had reached a new stage of development.

While he read he cast the occasional glance at her, soothed by her presence and wanting to make sure she was doing okay. He had to admit he was a little out of his league, having never taken care of her completely by himself for this long before, and he was scared of doing something wrong. More than that he was afraid of letting her down again.

He began to read a chapter about bonding and with each paragraph his heart sank deeper into his chest and guilt began to rise. He had thought bonding was important for later on in the child's life but according to the book it was crucial even at the infant stage. The book said that infants wanted to connect to their caretakers and were actively trying to do so. If they failed to get a response they eventually would give up. Grace must have probably given up on him months ago, even though she did seem rather okay with being with him now. But what scared him the most was when he continued to read and found out that babies could actually get depressed if they weren't able to connect with their parents or caretakers. The thought of his daughter being depressed at only a few months old terrified him and he put the book aside and studied her intently. Did she seem depressed? He didn't have the first idea how to tell with such a small baby and he had no other babies to compare her to.

Overwhelmed with guilt he looked at his sleeping daughter and wondered how much crap he was going to put her through over the course of her life. No matter what his relationship with Bart he knew that Bart hadn't _tried_ to be a bad parent. He just had been anyway.

"I'm sorry Grace…" he said. "I didn't mean to be so bad at this. It's not your fault you were born to a guy who has this many issues. And here I actually thought I was issue free before you came along. Can you believe that? Talk about having absolutely zero insight and a really poor self-image."

Reluctantly he picked the book back up and continued to read even though it felt like reading a horror novel at this point. Babies could sense stress in their parents, could sense when they were fighting, they reacted to everything around them. Chuck had never given babies enough credit to think they would be that observant, he had believed that all they cared about was getting food and clean diapers and that was it. He wondered how Grace had really reacted to what had happened earlier in the day. He hadn't given the slightest thought to it at the time, he had thought she was crying because of Blair's borderline hysteria and the slight chaos had disturbed her peace but not because she actually picked up on the anger and resentment between her parents.

He closed his eyes and sighed with resignation. He really was a lousy parent no matter what he did. First by not getting involved enough and then by getting too involved and putting his own wishes to be near the baby above what was best for the child. He opened his eyes and looked at Grace. He wanted her to be with him, wanted to make up for lost time. But he didn't want to do wrong by her and make her miserable. What had he been thinking earlier in the day? Blair was Grace's anchor, the center of her whole world. Chuck had no right to take her away from her mother like that.

Resigned he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone. He dialed Blair's number and reached his hand out to caress the baby's cheek while he waited for her to answer. It took less than half a ring.

"Chuck?" she breathed on the other end. "Chuck what is it, is she okay?"

"No" he said sadly. "I mean, yes, yes she's fine. She's not hurt or anything."

"Please Chuck" Blair said with a trembling voice. "Please just stop this."

"Okay" he whispered.

"What?"

"I said okay" he said. "You were right before. I was wrong. I will admit my mistake and let you take her home if… if you promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"I need you to promise me you won't keep me away from her."

"You know by now that I can't keep you from her. You have visitation rights at the very least. So yeah, I promise."

"Thank you Blair. I'm at my suite at the Palace but I guess you already knew that."

"I'll be right over."

"I'm curious…" he said. "You knew where we were. Why didn't you come over here and try to take her back?"

"She's been put through enough drama for one day, don't you think?" Blair answered coldly and hung up the phone.

* * *

She knocked on the door to his suite and he opened almost instantly, holding Grace in his arms. He looked weary and resigned and she wondered how they had come to this place. Grace looked like she had just woken up, her hair messy and her eyelids heavy, sucking slowly on her pacifier. She made a little noise when she saw Blair.

"Here she is, safe and sound" Chuck said, voice almost drained.

Blair stepped inside and gave the baby a long kiss on the cheek. Then she walked further inside the room and looked around it, inspecting the place to see if it had been child appropriate these past hours.

"I fed her before she went to sleep a couple of hours ago" Chuck said. "But I suppose she might get hungry again soon. I… don't really know how often she eats at this age."

"You have no idea how much I want to yell at you" Blair said. "But I'm not going to. I just want to know what made you come to your senses."

"Believe me Blair I don't want to hand her back to you" Chuck said. "Do you know how bitter it is to realize that the best thing for your child is if you're not around them?"

"Okay, let's get one thing straight" Blair sighed. "As soon as you're done cranking up the drama, drinking your bodyweight, gallivanting around with women and all the other sordid things you've been doing while grieving then we can start working out a schedule for how often she's with you. I never said that what's best for her is for you to be gone from her life completely, in fact I've told you time and time again that Grace needs you in her life. She just needs you to get your act together first. You're going through something really difficult at the moment and you should allow yourself the time to grieve properly."

"I know" Chuck said.

"Using Grace as a distraction from the pain you're feeling isn't healthy for either one of you. She needs stability in her life."

"I know."

"I'm surprised you came around so quickly. I would have expected you to more or less hold her hostage for a while."

"Believe me I wanted to" Chuck sighed. "I just couldn't. You were right before. I was scaring her and I'm sorry about that. I didn't… I thought I was doing her a favor in a way, that it would be good for us both to spend time together."

"And it _is_" Blair sighed, dead tired of having variations of this conversation. "But you're not stabile right now."

"I know. I realize that."

Blair sat down on the edge of his bed and took another look around. Chuck walked closer with a frown. He was still holding the baby and Blair wasn't making any move to taking her back to leave.

"Why are you still here if not to give me a piece of your mind?"

"Don't you think there's been enough stress in her life for one day?" Blair said tiredly. "After what happened this morning I don't want to put any further stress on her and this must all be really confusing for her. She can stay here but I'm staying too. At least until evening and then I might take her back home. I don't see a crib in here anywhere."

"I called the front desk. They have cribs, I was going to have them bring one up for her."

"She doesn't need one right now" Blair concluded. "Give her to me please. I think she needs to feel that I'm calm after what happened earlier."

Chuck obediently walked over and handed her the baby. Blair hugged Grace tight and took a deep breath, drawing in the scent of the child. Chuck looked away when he saw that Blair was quite emotional and let her rock the baby gently back and forth for a moment without him watching her. Then he walked over and sat down next to her on the bed.

"I'm sorry" he said again.

"About what you said earlier…" she said. "I do have faith in you. I believe in you, your father believed in you. You are the only one who doesn't believe in you. I wish I could be there for you right now but Chuck I can't. I'm so terribly confused and it's not good for Grace. I can't be the person you lean on while I'm trying to do right by her and determine whether or not it's good for her to be under your care at the moment. You need someone who can be completely on your side and I will always be on hers first and foremost."

He laughed bitterly.

"Life doesn't work like that Waldorf. No one is completely on your side. People always serve their own best interest first-hand."

"Parents don't."

"You and I both know that isn't the case" he said. Then he sighed. "I guess I should appreciate that you look out for her the way you do."

He wanted to tell her more but decided against it. It was difficult to open up to her, to anyone really, and the fact that things were weird between them now didn't make it any easier. He wanted to tell her how hurt he was that she hadn't had more faith in him but he couldn't let her know that anything she did hurt him. He had lost enough already.

"Bart's death hasn't been easy on us either" Blair said eventually. "I don't know why I'm telling you that; maybe it's because I think you should know that he mattered to people. And so do you."

"I just never seem to matter to those I want to matter to."

"If Bart hadn't been in the accident…" Blair said. "Who knows, maybe you and I would be at a different place. Things didn't work out that way though. We are where we are and…"

She looked away. Chuck chose not to comment. He knew what she was trying to say. She had had feelings for him but she wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship anymore. In a way it really hurt but at the same time he knew it was a wise decision. He needed time before he could be anybody's love interest. He needed to focus on their child now that he had finally begun to connect with her. If that meant he couldn't be with Blair then he owed it to Grace to make that sacrifice. And speaking of things he owed her…

"I lost Bass Industries" he said.

She frowned. That was his reply? She was speaking about _them_ and he began to talk about a stupid company?

"Bart left it to me in his will… You know that part already. I didn't want it at first but I thought Grace might."

"Who knows" Blair shrugged.

"You're right, she may not. But she should have the option to choose. She's Bart's granddaughter."

"Doesn't matter now" Blair said.

"It does" he said, giving her a look. He took Grace's hand in his and held it for a few seconds. "I may have been outwitted by my uncle but that doesn't mean I have given up. Somehow I will find a way to get the company back. I'll even go to Lily if I have to, Bart left part of the company to her. And he left a small percentage to the baby."

"What?" Blair said. "Why would he do that? She's going to inherit it after you someday anyway."

"I suppose he figured that with me being so young when I had her that by the time I pass away Grace will be far too old to have any use of those stocks. The share he left her is a reassurance that part of it does belong to her and when she gets older I'll give her more of my shares."

"How much did she get?"

"Five percent."

"And you have?"

"Fifty-one."

"Then you have more than a controlling interest. Even without Grace's shares you've got control. How could Jack just take the company?"

"It's complicated" Chuck sighed. "Besides, those five percent are not in my control."

"Chuck she's four months old. She can't go to board meetings."

"Bart stated that you should act in her place until she's old enough to do so herself."

"Me?"

"He thought highly of you."

"But still… Why me and not you?"

Chuck shrugged.

"Maybe it was his way of making sure you got something too. He also left Grace 25% of his personal assets but she won't have control over that until she's eighteen."

"My child is loaded" Blair concluded. "Even by our standards."

"Good luck telling anyone now that you didn't sleep with me just to get your hands on some of the Bass fortune" Chuck teased and got a playful jab in return.

"It is a little bit scary though to think that she has all that money" Blair said. "She's the heiress to Bass Industries, she's probably got more wealth than I do… Someone might take advantage of that."

"Bart had her insured against kidnapping when he set up her trust fund."

"The man really did think of everything" Blair noted.

"Waste of money if you ask me" Chuck shrugged. "He had me insured when I was ten or eleven and no one's ever even _tried_ to kidnap me."

"Well I prefer not taking chances."

He shrugged again. He didn't see much point to anyone kidnapping a small child. Too much of a hassle to have to take care of a baby just to get some money.

"Oh great" Blair then said, wrinkling her nose. "She needs a diaper change." She handed the baby over to Chuck. "Here you go. Be a parent to your heart's content."

"Fine" he said, giving her a playfully challenging look.

He walked off to the bathroom and Blair sighed. She hated this confusion. She hated the entire situation. No matter what she didn't seem to be able to stop being in love with him, not even after the scene earlier today. She had promised herself she would step back and withdraw from the whole situation because it was getting toxic for her but it turned out to be impossible. She had made the decision to keep Grace and Chuck apart for a while until he got himself in order and it had been one of the most difficult decisions of her life. That was twenty-four hours ago and here she was now, on his bed while he changed Grace's diaper in the bathroom. She really should be more resolute. She knew the baby might end up getting hurt while he was still self-destructing, and it was more than clear to her that he still was. He had zero faith in himself anymore and his actions earlier in the day had been both out of character and desperate. And if he was really serious about getting the company back from Jack things could get ugly and it frightened Blair to think what might happen if the baby ended up caught in the middle.

But there were moments when he seemed different. When he had seen Grace a few days ago it had gone beautifully. He had taken good care of her the other day. And today he had actually admitted his mistake and called her up to let her bring the baby home. She knew he hadn't done that because he didn't want to take care of the baby any longer. That was a step forward but at the same time it was a step back. He had realised why she didn't want Grace to be with him right now but it had probably sent him further into his destructive spiral.

She was still trying to figure the whole thing out when father and child returned. The scarf was now around Chuck's neck and Grace had a handful of it in a firm grip. Blair smiled faintly. She wished things could be as easy as just the three of them being together. But it was a lot more complicated than that and perhaps the best way to assure that they could have a future was to give each other room in the present.

"Are you hungry?" Chuck asked. "I could call room-service. They still make that soup you like."

"Let's not confuse things" Blair said. "I'm here for my daughter and I'm just staying for a while so that she doesn't have to go back and forth every hour like a ping-pong ball. If you don't mind actually I thought I'd get some homework done."

"Of course" he said.

"And you should do the same. You've barely shown your face at school since mid-December. Your grades will soon suffer."

"Remind me again, are you Grace's mother or my mother?"

Blair gave him a dry smile and got up to get her books from the other room. Chuck got up on the bed again with Grace and smiled sadly at her.

"It appears I might have spoken too soon earlier" he said. "Turns out we might not see each other much for a while now. But I promise I'll be back in your life full-time before you know it. Your mom is right though. I need to work through my own problems and I need to get the company back before I can me of much use to you."

He gave her a kiss and leaned back against the pillows he had propped up. Hopefully all of this would be resolved soon and things could finally start to turn normal for them.

* * *

Blair walked inside her bedroom with Grace in her arms, feeling both relieved and empty at the same time. She was beginning to think she was a schizophrenic and she knew how the events of the past days must have seemed to Chuck. First she had shown up to yell at him at his hotel, then she talked him down from the edge of a building followed by encouraging him to spend time with the baby only to then seemingly turn on a dime and want him to stay away for a while. But she had been hesitant a few days ago when he asked to have Grace for a few hours. She had worried about his stability at that point too but she had chosen to ignore her doubts later on when they decided to have dinner together. The events that had followed had pushed her right back to thinking he wasn't stabile enough to have around the baby at the moment though perhaps she had been too harsh in that judgment. Perhaps she had told him to stay away to protect her own heart as much as to protect her baby.

"I don't know Grace…" she said. "Am I being unfair to him? I really don't think it's a good idea for him to look after you on his own for a full twenty-four hours in his present condition but when he came by last night he was only looking to spend some time with you here, with me nearby. Perhaps I wasn't fair to him. I don't think I can trust myself when it comes to him; my judgment keeps being clouded by how much I care about him. The more you care for someone the more they can disappoint you, you see. I want him to be something to me that he can't be right now and I think I might have taken that out on your relationship with him. I'm sorry sweetie."

She kissed the baby's forehead and made a decision. She needed to separate her own feelings for Chuck and her own issues with him from the situation with the baby. It was Chuck who had ultimately made her come to this conclusion. He had been the first one to see that they needed to put Grace's best interest above what they wanted for themselves. Blair had thought she had been doing that before but she realized now that she had been mistaken. She had seen Grace's best interests through what her own desires were and the two weren't necessarily connected.

She needed personal distance from Chuck. While he was so self-destructive their relationship would never be able to progress. But he had shown that he could look after Grace just fine and today he had in the end proven to her that he was able to see what was best for her and act accordingly. And perhaps he had also been right when he said that Grace would be able to help him more forward from his loss. He should at least be given the chance to spend some time with her. Not a full day and night just yet but a few hours couldn't hurt. She was the only real family he had left and Blair felt he really should know that there were people who thought he mattered. He had been loved his whole life but never knew it. Bart may be gone but there were still people around who valued him.

She put the baby down on the bed and took a picture of her. She then wrote a message to Chuck and sent it.

"_Mom wants to know if U R free Wednesday afternoon so we can hang. I love you Daddy._"

She sighed and wished there was an answer sheet to look at to know exactly what she was supposed to do. Maybe she should go see a shrink who could tell her how much of her behavior towards Chuck came from her personal relationship to him and how much came from concern about Grace. She looked over at Grace and made a face.

"I think it's safe to say that I've become a master of mixed messages" she said. "If I don't even know what I'm doing and feeling then how can he know?" She groaned. "And I'm there again. Good grief, I need to separate myself from him. Seriously Grace, what was I thinking hoping that him and I could move our relationship forward in the wake of Bart's death? Clearly I've lost my mind. He needs time to heal before he can be with me just as he needs time to grieve before he can be the father I know he can be."

Her phone beeped and she grabbed it to read Chuck's reply.

"_Tell Mom she was right before. A little bit. I'll come spend time with U once I have the company back. XO XO. _"

Blair looked over at Grace and gave her tummy a little rub.

"We've sure created a mess, haven't we? Maybe we can have a fresh start once all this is cleared up. What do you think?"

With a sigh Blair fell backwards on the bed, lying next to Grace. She tried to figure out where exactly she had gone wrong and what she could do to fix it. She and Chuck needed to get through this disaster and find some way of moving forward. And perhaps this time around things would actually be better, minus the obvious negative that Bart was gone. In a way this was Blair's test of Chuck. A concern of hers over the past days had been that he was using the baby to create a substitute for the family life he had never really had and now lost any chance at ever having with his father and that his feelings for Grace weren't genuinely about her. If he still wanted to be her father to the same extent when all of this was over then that would be like a dream come true.

* * *

Chuck groaned inwardly when he walked through the Palace lobby and spotted his uncle coming through the front doors. Jack grinned widely and came up to him. For half a second Chuck pondered whether to pretend like he wasn't bothered by Jack at all or to make it abundantly clear that he hoped his uncle would soon join his father six feet under but he settled for a middle ground.

"Nephew!" Jack grinned. "What a surprise. Don't tell me you've come to try and woo the board back. I wouldn't waste my time if I were you."

Chuck could barely conceal a scoff. Jack thought he had moved away from the Palace because he had moved out of his preferred suite. The fact was he had just switched suites and was now registered under a different name, having grown tired of his uncle constantly showing up at his hotel room with his own key. Obviously Jack wasn't bright enough to figure out a simple tactic like that.

"I'd hate to stay and chat" Chuck said. "Which is why I'm leaving."

"Aw, what? No tactics to try and take me down? You've been a bit of a disappointment in that regard. In fact I think you did a lot worse to me when you were seven and I beat you at Monopoly. Oh and on a similar subject, don't be alarmed but my stock might take a little dip today. I'm still adjusting to the learning curve."

"No what you're doing is trying too hard. You're obviously not cut out for the job which is why Bart never let you out of the outback. You should be more careful."

"Or what?" Jack asked. "You will unleash some grand scheme on me? It's my company now kid. You saw to that."

"It's Grace's company down the line. And you shouldn't underestimate me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" Jack hand waved. "Will the board and I be seeing you at the opera tonight or will you be home wallowing in diapers and pacifiers? Oh that's right, Blair told you to stay away from the little drooler. It's got to suck to be fighting to win the company back for a child you don't even get to see."

"You don't know what you're talking about" Chuck said.

"I think we've established that I know more than you do. And I'm also man enough to admit that it would be good for Bass Industries if you showed up tonight. Even though you're no longer in charge you are still the public face of the company. I think it's important you display it. Show there's no hard feelings."

"Maybe I'll show them they made the wrong choice instead" Chuck replied. "Oh wait. You're already doing that for me, aren't you?"

"No matter" Jack shrugged. "And honestly nephew I don't really care if you think I run the company the wrong way. I figure it will remain standing for as long as I want it no matter how I run it. What's left of it the day your little bastard takes over really doesn't concern me."

Chuck was fairly sure that if there hadn't been witnesses Jack would be one black eye richer by this point. Instead of lounging at his uncle he just walked past him, realizing that things were probably worse than he had expected. He would have to take drastic measures to overthrow Jack and unfortunately Lily might be the one he had to turn to. Cringing inwardly he told himself it would be worth it to get his father's legacy back and got in his limo.

When he stepped inside the penthouse Lily was busy picking out a dress for the opera. He wanted to make a spiteful remark about how quickly she got past mourning his father but he knew there was no point. He harked to get her attention and she turned around.

"Charles, I didn't expect to see you today."

"Or ever if I had it my way."

"Yes, well, I missed you too" Lily said with a look that refused to be provoked by him. "Did you resolve things with Blair the other day?"

"No" he said. "Grace is still in my care. I tied her to the bedpost to make sure she wouldn't go anywhere while I made this house call." He walked further inside, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible. "I'm trying to do something. I was hoping to do it on my own… but that's not going to be possible. I'm thinking you're the only person left who can help. What do you say?"

Lily looked at him in silence for a moment. Then a smile slowly spread across her face and he knew she was in.

"Why don't you take a seat?"

He took his coat off and sat down on one of the couches while Lily excused the woman who had brought the dresses. She came to sit down on the couch and while he wished she would have chosen the other couch to sit on at least she wasn't sitting right next to him.

"My initial plan to take down Jack was to deploy one of my usual moves" he began to explain once they were alone. "But I realised they probably wouldn't work. Jack is blood. He thinks too much like me, he sees me coming. And even though I could care less about the board for my own sake I'm just laying the groundwork. The way Jack is running the business I worry everything my father's worked for will be lost."

"Everything your little girl is meant to inherit someday" Lily concluded.

"Since you're part of the company now I thought you might care" he said, giving her a look that emphasized that he didn't think she would care one bit about Bart's legacy if she didn't have a personal financial stake.

"I do care Charles" Lily said. "But my concern is for you, not the company."

"I've already told you I'm not buying any of that."

"Why don't you move back in here? It would make it a lot easier to work together. Blair would probably be more at ease letting Grace spend the night with you."

"I'm not interested in a family reunion and I am most certainly not interested in a long-term partnership in business. Either you believe in my cause or you do not."

"I do. I will go talk to the board. My 20 % stake in Bass Industries must count for something. And when I'm done perhaps you will consider your living situation."

"Don't hold your breath" Chuck sniggered and got up to leave. On the elevator he got out his phone and dialed Blair's number. He got an answer at the fourth ring and began to speak before she could say anything. "I just thought you should know, I've allied with the enemy to get the company back. Grace really ought to thank me later."

"Who cares about the stupid company?" Blair practically shrieked on the other end.

"I do" Chuck sulked.

"Chuck I don't have time to talk" Blair went on. "I'm on my way to see Headmistress Queller. Nelly Yuki got in to Yale and I'm waitlisted. _I_'_m_ waitlisted, can you believe that? I have never been so humiliated. My father's here to celebrate my acceptance, I can't be just _waitlisted_. Seriously Chuck, can you believe it?"

"No" Chuck said. "Yale always goes for the teenage mothers firsthand. You must have pissed off the wrong person."

"Ugh, hanging up now!"

She did just that and turned her phone off to avoid further interruptions. Right now Bass Industries was the last thing she cared about. She stormed inside Queller's office without caring that she might be in the middle of something else. This mistake had to be rectified and it had to happen now.

* * *

Later that day Blair stormed inside her room and threw herself down on the bed, crying into her pillow. Dorota followed five seconds behind, worriedly sitting down next to Blair and soothingly placing her hands on her shoulders.

"Miss Blair, what has happened?"

"My life is _over_" Blair cried.

Dorota made a slightly surprised face.

"Don't tell me is another baby."

Blair looked up from her pillow long enough to shoot Dorota her most withering glare.

"Of course it's not another baby" she snarled. "What, you think I sexed Chuck down from that ledge?" She sniveled and sat up. "Yale didn't want me. They _waitlisted_ me."

Dorota gasped.

"Who got in?"

"Nelly Yuki. That stupid four-eyed nerd saw her chance when I became pregnant and she did everything she could to use that fact to her advantage. Now I'll never go to Yale and Grace will be so ashamed of me!"

"Miss Grace not ashamed" Dorota said soothingly. "Waitlisted means there is still chance. You should have faith."

"Faith gets you nowhere" Blair objected. "Fight gets you everywhere. I need to hack into Nelly Yuki's e-mail account and decline the spot on her behalf."

"_Then_ Miss Grace be ashamed" Dorota said. "And Mister Harold."

"Under normal circumstances I would call the dean and tell him that unless I'm accepted I will go to the media and cry over how they refused me because I furthered the species. But this is _Yale_. I want them to like me."

"They will" Dorota assured her. "You just need patience. And many A."

"That's another thing" Blair complained. "I've managed to keep my straight As despite being pregnant and then having a child. Shouldn't that count for something? My intelligence is obviously kicking Nelly Yuki's brain's ass since we have the same grades but she hasn't had half the challenges I've had. How can that count for nothing?"

"It will count" Dorota assured her. "Now dry tears Miss Blair. Mister Harold and Mister Roman are out for walk with baby. When they get back-"

"When they get back you will tell Daddy I have a terrible migraine and won't be able to come out and see him for a long time."

"He will understand about Yale."

Blair sighed heavily and hugged a pillow. How could her father possibly understand when _she_ didn't?

* * *

"So how did the meeting with the board go?" Chuck asked the second he stepped off the elevator that afternoon.

"The bastard is untouchable" Lily sighed. "He's your legal guardian and unless we can prove he's completely negligent there doesn't seem to be a way."

"Then what should we do?"

"Time to get dirty, I'm all ears."

"Fine" Chuck said and walked to the table. "Proving Jack to be negligent can't be all that difficult. The man gave me the first coke I ever snorted. I was twelve."

"Good God" Lily sighed and sat down opposite him.

"Said the mother of Serena van der Woodsen, the only teenager in Manhattan who could rival me in decadence." He opened his briefcase and grabbed a stack of papers that he pushed over the table towards Lily. "Read and learn."

Lily grabbed her glasses and began to read. She looked up after a minute.

"One of these has been circled."

"Oh, yes, that one was my little derive from the plan not to do anything that could cast a negative light on me in the eyes of the board."

"Getting him on Megan's List?"

"If only his apartment were a few blocks closer to a playground. But at least it might help keep him away from my baby. I'm not taking any chances when it comes to Jack Bass."

Lily shook her head.

"Look I understand you want to make sure your daughter isn't harmed but we have got to do something that is not illegal. I've put calls in to Jack's business associates in Australia. He's not the most upstanding citizen. I'm sure we will find something."

Chuck shrugged and didn't look too convinced. Even if Jack had done something outrageous in Australia that might not be enough to prove he was unfit to be a guardian now. And he had begun to wonder what they would do next if Jack was declared unfit. Chuck still needed a guardian for the next four months.

"You know…" Lily said. "I thought I lost you the day of the funeral. And I'm sorry that Jack is the one to bring us back together but… I'm glad we're doing this."

"It's just temporary" Chuck pointed out. "If your people don't come up with anything we could try number 26."

Lily checked the list.

"Crash Jack in plane." She looked up. "The Bass jet is kind of expensive Charles."

"There's insurance."

Lily's phone rang and she answered it. Chuck tuned out as soon as he heard her mention the opera, not the least bit interested in her personal conversations. His mind was back at the problem with who his legal guardian would be if it wasn't Jack. He had no living grandparents and no aunts or uncles on his mother's side. Before he could get very far in his thinking he heard Lily mention Rufus' name and that caught his attention. Lily was smiling like a teenager in love when she hung up and Chuck stared at her with disgust.

"I can't believe you" he said. "You're actually going to take your half-prize hustler out on the town tonight."

At least she had the decency of looking like she had been caught doing something she shouldn't. Then her eyes grew harder.

"I thought we had put all of this behind us Charles, I'm here to help you."

"And what part of you dating someone else a month after my father's death is helping me?" Chuck asked. "You say you want to be family but if you really meant it you wouldn't parade your mistress in public. You'd have some tact. Some respect."

"This isn't about your father, Charles."

"Right, because when you lose your spouse the first thing you do is find the poorest substitute available and put on a public show. I should have known from your history I couldn't count on you. You think of yourself. Your kids and my dead father are proof of that."

He got up and walked away, wondering what he had been thinking trying to go to Lily for help. He had never met anyone more false than she was. Now he was on his own again. Somehow he would have to find a way to get the company back, even if it meant playing open and dirty with Jack Bass.

* * *

Blair was sitting Indian style on her bed, hugging a pillow and pouting. She still could not believe the cruel fate that had waitlisted her while the likes of Nelly Yuki got a free pass to Blair's version of Heaven. When a knock came on the door she cringed, figuring it was her father wanting to talk. But when the door opened it was Chuck who walked in.

"Bass" she said with surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Operation Attack Jack has run into a dead end" Chuck said. "I tried getting Lily to help, momentarily forgetting that she's the devil's mistress."

"Charming" Blair said with a fake smile.

"I'm here to pick your devilish brain for ideas on how to take Jack down."

"You can't think of something on your own?"

"Somehow I doubt buying anthrax with his credit card is going to reflect positively on to me in the long run and I need to keep the board from disliking me further. Which is why I thought I'd plot this with you seeing as you're probably even more concerned than I am about things that might reflect negatively on Grace as she gets older."

"Who cares if Grace gets to run Bass Industries one day?" Blair complained. "I might not get in to Yale! She won't even have the drive to want to run a company unless her mother shows her what it means to be successful."

"Relax, it's not like they have a one student per high school limit" Chuck said. "This is more important. I need you to focus."

"Bummer" Blair said. "I'm not in the mood."

"I'm always able to get you in the mood."

She ignored his innuendo and pouted even further. He walked over to the crib.

"Where's Grace?"

"Out with Daddy and Roman."

"Your father's here?"

"Here to have front row seats to my failure" Blair sulked.

"Focus. How can we ruin Jack?"

"Why don't you put him on Megan's List? At least that way he'll be less prone to come sniffing around Grace."

"I need you to figure out something I wouldn't think of myself."

"The man has an even shadier lifestyle than you do" Blair pointed out. "If they could take the company from you based on a morality clause can't they sack Jack for a similar offense?"

"Unfortunately no. I need something that will make him resign on his own and hand the company back to me."

"Lobotomies are helpful. Some guy even won the Nobel Prize for them."

"No wonder Yale doesn't want you if that's the best you can think of."

"The company will be yours again in May, won't it? Don't you think the smartest course of action might be to just wait it out? How much damage can one Bass do in four months?"

"I told you, Jack is not obligated to hand it back to me."

"I wish I could help you Chuck but I really am out of ideas" Blair shrugged. "Look, maybe it doesn't have to be the end. You could use the money your father left you to start something new, something that is yours. I think Grace would rather inherit that than her grandfather's dusty old company."

Chuck turned and looked at her like he had just had an epiphany.

"You might just have found the right answer."

"Wait a few years. Finish high school… Go to _college_. At least one of Grace's parents ought to."

"No, no, no" Chuck said. "Jack only runs the board because he's my legal guardian and I have the controlling interest. If I sell my shares Jack is out."

"You can't sell them without his consent."

"I can once I'm eighteen. I don't plan on letting go of my father's company but I can sell the company and then I buy it back."

"First of all I don't know if that's legal" Blair said. "Second of all, who could possibly afford to buy 51 % of Bass Industries?"

"Well… How much is in your trust fund?"

"Mine?" Blair echoed. "Oh no way Chuck. Leave me out of this crazy scheme. It's bad enough that none of Grace's parents might be going to college, let's at least try and keep one of them out of _jail_!"

"Unwind" Chuck said. "I'm fine with you being the on-paper owner for a few years; I don't need to buy it back instantly. I think if we combine your funds with Grace's we can make the purchase. And you have just as high a stake in keeping Bass Industries afloat as I do."

"And I also have a brain" Blair said. "I know I'm not capable of running a company. Oh, and _I want to go to college_."

"Yale doesn't want you" Chuck shrugged. "What other colleges did you apply to?"

"You're really not selling me on the idea of blowing every last dime I've got on your father's company" Blair sulked.

"I have to go get ready for the opera" Chuck said, unfazed by her grumpiness. "Keep this on the down low for the time being, would you? I want to see the look on Jack's face when he finds out what's happening."

He walked out before Blair had a chance to say anything else. She groaned and fell backwards on the bed.

* * *

Feeling at least a little better Chuck arrived at the opera and headed straight for the bar. First thing tomorrow morning he would begin to put his new plan in action. He was already working out the details in his mind and almost grinned at the thought of the moment when Jack would find out he had lost the company because his nephew had sold it. He knew he could trust Blair if he sold it to her. She may not always be on his side but ultimately she was always on Grace's side and this was for her.

"The answer is so simple; how could I have forgotten it?"

Chuck turned around when he heard Lily's voice.

"Any chance you could try and forget me?"

"I have the answer to our problem. Meet me here in fifteen minutes and if you don't like my suggestion I will never bother you again. You have my word."

Chuck frowned at the far too pleased smile on her face but decided he might as well hear her out. If nothing else he didn't mind hanging out by a bar for fifteen minutes or more. When Lily returned she had Bruce Kaplan, Bart's family lawyer, with him.

"Bruce…" Chuck said with a frown. "What is all this about?"

"Before he died your father was going to legally adopt Serena and Eric."

"And I was going to legally adopt you" Lily added. "We were serious about becoming a real family and we'd had the papers drawn and your father had signed them, I just didn't get to it on time."

"Your stepmother asked me to have these faxed over to the box office" Kaplan said and handed the documents to Chuck.

"So if you adopt me…" Chuck began.

"Then _I_'_m_ your guardian" Lily filled in.

Chuck thought it over for a moment. He was anything but keen on having any further ties to Lily but with her as his guardian he could get Bass Industries back without having to sell it to Blair first. It would save him a lot of trouble. And he had seen firsthand how Lily parented and knew he wouldn't have to worry about her trying to have a say in his life. If anything she'd probably appreciate it if he didn't come home more than once a week.

"Give me a pen" he said.

Lily smiled with satisfaction which would have annoyed Chuck but right now at least she was priding herself on having won over Jack and that was a goal they both shared. Kaplan handed a pen to Chuck and he cast a glance at the documents and then at his stepmother.

"Just so we're clear, this doesn't make us family, just even" Chuck told her as he began to sign the documents. "I am not your son and Grace is definitely not your granddaughter."

"What do you think you're doing?" Jack asked with a smug smile as he came walking up. "You can't sign anything without my consent."

"Not anymore" Chuck said. "I'm sending you back where you belong." He held up the adoption papers. "You just lost the company." He handed the papers to Kaplan and grabbed a champagne flute before walking off. He walked down a flight of stairs and called Blair. "The company is back" he said. "The evil uncle has been defeated."

"What?" Blair said. "Already? Bass did you do something even more illegal than the thing you suggested before?"

"That's the kicker, it's perfectly legal. I'm coming over after the opera. I'll fill you in then. I have to go, talk to you soon."

He hung up and with a delighted smirk walked in to find his seat. He felt better than he had in over a month. Jack was out of the game, Bart's affairs were in order and once high school was done he could concentrate on becoming someone who would have made his father proud.

* * *

"Good evening" Chuck said with a content smile when he walked into Blair's bedroom a few hours later. "Dorota you can put the champagne on the vanity."

"Champagne?" Blair echoed.

"We have cause for celebration. Bass Industries is back in my hands and Jack will be back in the outback with the other sloths before the end of the week."

"What happened?" Blair asked.

"We outsmarted him."

"Legally?"

"Very much legally" Chuck said, pouring champagne into the flutes. "I've probably tied myself to Lily for the remainder of my days but the kid is worth it." He handed her a flute which he clinked to his own. Then he took a deep sip and walked over to the crib. "You can thank me when you're older" he told the sleeping baby.

"A thousand dollars says she'll disappoint you by wanting to become a realtor" Blair said smugly and took a sip from her flute.

"Nah" Chuck said. "She'll know I'll disown her if that happens."

Blair found herself wondering if he was kidding or if he was serious. He remained by the crib for a moment, smiling slightly at the sleeping child. Then he walked over and sat down next to her on the bed, clinking their flutes together once more.

"To victory."

"I'm curious, what did you mean when you said you're tied to Lily?"

"It's strictly for the legalities" Chuck said. "But I allowed her to adopt me. She and my father had made arrangements to adopt each other's kids to make us all one big, miserable but marketable family. That was apparently before she decided to dump my father for Brooklyn's dullest. My father had signed the papers already so all we had to do was sign them too and make her my legal guardian by default. This is just an arrangement out of convenience. There's no deeper meaning behind it."

"I wouldn't say that" Blair said, taking another sip of champagne. "You have a parent again. A mother."

"Ugh, just hearing you refer to her as my mother grosses me out."

Blair smiled slightly and suddenly realised how close he was sitting. She looked away and took a slow, deep breath through her nose. She felt dizzy and intoxicated even though she had only had half a glass of champagne. This was only the second time she had alcohol in a year and it affected her more easily than it had used to. She had to be on her guard. One calm moment between herself and Chuck did not mean anything had changed.

"I'm happy for you Chuck" she said. "You got your father's company back. Now you can move forward."

"And I intend to. I promise you Blair I feel a lot better now that his legacy is safe. I can relax. I can start to come to terms with what has happened."

"Good" Blair said softly.

"And maybe…"

"Maybe?"

"Maybe you will consider lifting your baby embargo?"

Blair smiled warmly and clinked her flute to his one more time.

"Maybe."

* * *

With that I'm officially bored with using material from the show =) At least for the next few chapters I'm going to try and go all-original.

Updates might be more frequent now for a while depending on how much I have to do at work. While I had my block I wrote outlines for later chapters so I have partially written chapters going as far ahead as Grace's first birthday. Some chapters are almost finished and some are just a few sentences. If I start feeling inspired again I might start completing chapters on a very frequent basis =) And if not, well, updates will be further apart.

Thanks for reading and please tell me what you though!


	39. Chapter 39

I didn't expect that strong a reaction to Chuck's attitude about Yale =) That was interesting! I can assure you though that he's not trying to be an ass. I think he just sees BI as more urgent since Blair only failed to get in through early admission and might still get accepted later (I'm going back to edit the chapter when I have time to make it more clear). Yale will be addressed again in an upcoming chapter.

Someone asked if Chair will be endgame in this story… I've pretty much decided that they will be. What I haven't decided on is they will get together at the very end or if they'll get together earlier. I think that will depend on how long I continue writing the story. But at least my writer's block is gone for the moment =) This chapter is a bit lighter than the previous ones and covers a span of about two weeks.

Also I know I'm behind on my review replies – I'm sorry! With the site being so messy these past few days I haven't been able to reply when I've had time to so instead I finished writing this chapter. But I will get back to you ASAP I promise =)

* * *

For the first time in as far back as she could remember Blair did not have anything special planned for Valentine's Day. Even last year she had had plans. She had gone out with Dorota to see a couple of romantic movies showing at a movie theatre on the Upper West Side, and even though she had been without a date she had at least gone out and done something romance related. This year was different.

This year she stayed at home and she didn't even mind. She had begun to fully realize how quickly her daughter was growing and how fast the moments fleeted. She knew she didn't need any other valentine than her little girl, even though she truthfully wouldn't have minded having said girl's father as her valentine this year. But he was probably out womanizing, or at home reading up on everything he needed to know about Bass Industries. Those seemed to be his two main interests outside of the child.

A few weeks had passed since Chuck had gotten his company back and slowly things had started to calm down. Chuck was doing better now, still a bit of a mess but not as bad as he had been that first week after returning to New York. His interest in Grace had remained the same and by early February he was once again coming by in the afternoons to spend time with her. He had only had her overnight once since then but they had agreed the baby would stay with him one night next week too. In a few weeks they would be sitting down to discuss the new custodial arrangements and while Blair would still insist on having the main custody of the baby she was more willing now to agree to letting him have her for a day or two each week. She didn't like the thought of not getting to be with Grace every night but it was just part of the deal when you had a child with someone you weren't living with.

Blair let one hand gently stroke the curls on her daughter's head, marveling yet again at how soft and thick the hair was. She was sitting in her armchair, looking out the window at the falling snow while the baby nursed. She had originally decided to wean her at six months of age, having been told that babies only got antibodies from their mothers for the first six months and having also heard that the longer you nursed the greater the risk of sagging boobs. Those two factors combined made it seem like weaning the baby after six months was the most appropriate course of action. Grace wasn't six months old just yet, Blair had actually begun to wean her after just over five months, thinking it probably wouldn't make that big a difference and that six months was just an estimate for how long she would get the antibodies.

It hadn't turned out to be so easy however. Grace had protested wildly to only being fed by bottle, perhaps noticing that the bottles were no longer filled with breast milk every time. Blair on her part had suffered through two miserable days of a crying baby and aching breasts which combined nearly drove her crazy. On top of that she had never found it to be quite the same thing to feed Grace with a bottle and she missed the connection to her baby that came from nursing. After nearly two days of the baby screaming and Blair feeling ready to burst she had decided to not quit nursing entirely and luckily she had still been able to. Now she nursed twice a day, first thing in the morning and in the evening right before putting Grace down for the night. It was a cozy moment she quickly began to look forward to, especially the evening feeding, and she had discovered that it made it easier to put the baby down as well. The little girl seemed much more relaxed after having gotten her bedtime snack from her mother rather than from a bottle. Since they both enjoyed ending the day in this fashion Blair had decided to continue with it indefinitely, even after she stopped nursing in the morning.

The snow kept falling outside. She could see the large snowflakes when they fell through the lights from the streetlamps. Blair stifled a yawn and looked down at the baby.

"You really eat like a pig, you know" she said with a smile. "Just a few more minutes, or you'll be too full to be able to sleep well."

She began to hum softly to herself as her eyes went back to looking at the falling snow. It was a lovely February night. It really was. Anyone who had a special someone to be their valentine tonight was a lucky person.

Again she wished she could have been with Chuck tonight. That he had stopped by to spend the evening with the baby, and in subtext with Blair. She let her mind drift off, imagining what it would be like if Chuck were there right now, sitting on the bed while she finished nursing their baby. She never seemed to learn for more than five minutes at a time how counterproductive it was for her to daydream like that. As she shifted Grace in her arms and covered herself up she carried out a conversation with Chuck in her mind. One of the witty, yet romantic variety. Right now she longer for him so much she almost wanted to call him and ask if he would like to come over. But if she did and it turned out he was with some other woman she would be too devastated. And she knew it was very probable that he was. She had, after all, pretty much told him that a romantic relationship between the two of them wouldn't be happening right now.

"Ready for bed, little girl?" she asked the baby.

Grace looked at her but didn't make a noise. Blair held her close, softly rocking the little girl to sleep. She took a deep breath, filling her nose with the scent of her child. She longed for Chuck's company, but the company of his daughter wasn't too bad either.

Dorota came walking in, or tiptoeing rather, smiling happily at Blair when she saw her rocking the baby to sleep. In her hands Dorota held a stuffed animal but Blair couldn't see exactly what kind of a plushie it was from where she was sitting.

"Is baby asleep?" Dorota asked.

"Almost."

"This came five minutes ago" Dorota said, putting the teddybear down on Blair's bed. "From Mister Chuck."

Blair's face lit up in a smile. She stood up carefully and walked over to the crib with the baby. She still hadn't gotten around to getting a nursery ready. She liked having the baby near. Well, most of the time. She had to admit that having a nursery and a nanny would be a dream come true in the middle of the night.

She gently put the now sleeping baby down in the crib and pulled the soft cashmere blanket up over her. Grace began to suck on her thumb in her sleep. Blair picked up the duck pacifier Roman had thought was so cute and carefully pulled Grace's thumb away and put the pacifier in the baby's mouth instead.

"Sweet dreams baby" she said.

She walked over to the bed and picked the teddybear up. It was a polar bear, hugging a big, red heart. Delightfully tacky and ridiculously sweet. Blair's smile widened even further. Okay, he wasn't there, but he had at least sent her something. Flowers would have been nicer, but on the other hand a tad too obvious. A cute little polar bear hugging a heart was more subtle, and it had the benefit of being something that would last longer than just a few days.

She flipped over the card attached to the bear and saw Chuck's handwriting, causing her smile to widen a bit more. For some reason she had begun to find his handwriting incredibly pretty, in a sloppy guy sort of way.

"_A special bear for my favorite Valentine_" he had written. "_Love, Dad._"

Blair's smile faded somewhat. She quickly turned around to see if Dorota's eyes were on her, but Dorota was busy looking down at the baby in the crib. Still, Blair forced herself to smile again even though she felt horribly disappointed. She wasn't sure why she was disappointed. Or even surprised. Of course he would send something for the baby. She thought that part was quite endearing. It just stung a bit that he hadn't sent something for her. She had been so happy when she thought the bear was intended for her, cheesy as it was to send something like that.

"Adorable, isn't it?" Dorota said, looking up at Blair. "Mister Chuck sending present for Miss Grace. You should put it in crib with her."

"Adorable" Blair agreed with much less enthusiasm. "But maybe not suited for actually putting next to the baby. If the heart comes loose she could choke on it."

"Nonsense. Heart too big for that. And bear is hugging heart, it won't come loose."

"Fine."

"When she wakes up, she will have new teddy from special valentine" Dorota gushed.

Blair walked over to the crib and put the teddybear down next to the baby. Why did she feel almost jealous that the bear had been meant for Grace? She decided that the real reason why she was annoyed and/or disappointed was that Chuck had chosen to send a lame stuffed animal instead of showing up himself. If Grace was indeed his favorite valentine then why hadn't he stopped by to spend the evening with her? And, of course, by extension with Blair.

She walked back to the window and looked out at the falling snow. She wondered what he was doing. Was he taking some random woman out to a fancy dinner for the sole purpose of getting into her panties later in the evening? Or was he skipping the classier steps of seduction and simply inviting some random woman into a hot tub with him for the sole purpose of getting into her bikini pants? Or was there a chance that he was alone tonight, just like Blair? Even more alone actually, since he didn't have the baby to keep him company?

Before she could really think it through she had grabbed her phone and dialed his number, praying that he wouldn't be with someone else. If he was she might just take a walk outside and stick her head in the nearest snow pile.

"Well hello" his voice said after only three rings.

"Hi" she said, feeling nervous for some reason.

"To what do I owe the honor of a phone call on Valentine's Day?"

"I got the teddybear" Blair said, before realizing her error. "_The_ teddybear. That you sent for Grace. The baby got the teddybear."

"Good" he said, and she could hear from his voice that he was smiling.

"She insisted I call to thank you" Blair went on.

"I am heartbroken" he pouted on the other end. "Here I go out of my way to send her something special and she can't even call me herself."

"It's a polar bear."

"More than I've ever given anyone else on Valentine's. And she can't even call me herself; I am crushed!"

"Blame it on me" Blair giggled. "I was the one who pointed out that it's her bedtime and I'm a very strict mother as you know. She wouldn't go to sleep until she had made me promise to call in her place."

"I think someone's a bit jealous of our bond and wants to keep us from having a special moment over the phone" Chuck teased.

Blair laughed nervously, glad that he couldn't see her. She wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of knowing that she was jealous that he hadn't sent her anything.

"Well I should probably round this up" she said. "I'm keeping you from your date."

"I'm not on a date."

"But it's Valentine's Day" Blair said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Didn't Grace tell you what the card said? She's my valentine this year."

"Aw" she said, again feeling a sting of jealousy. "Chuck Bass is a softie."

"Don't let _that_ rumor spread" he said with seriousness.

"I'm not so sure anyone would believe me even if I tried."

"What about you? No hot date once the little cub has gone to bed?"

She smirked.

"Maybe."

He was quiet for a second.

"Really?"

"Hey did you look outside?" Blair said, hoping to change the subject before they started talking about her date or lack thereof.

"At what? The snow?"

"Isn't it perfect for a winter's night? It sets such an ambiance."

"Uhm… sure…"

Feeling awkward Blair sat down on the edge of her bed and hoped to find something to say to keep the conversation going. So what if she allowed herself to fantasize for just one evening? And what harm could it really make to share one possibly flirty conversation with Chuck? It was Valentine's after all.

"So what will you be doing tonight if you're not out on a date?" she asked.

"Oh I don't know" he said. "Focus on business and on actually getting my home work done in time for once. But I believe I am now keeping _you_ from your date."

"Oh… that's okay."

"No, you should go" he said. "But kiss Grace goodnight for me and… tell her I'll be by tomorrow."

"Yeah okay. Bye Chuck."

She hung up and bit her bottom lip. He hadn't sounded too bothered by the idea of her having a date. When was she going to wake up and realize that it was time to actually move on and not just declare that she would and then slip back into old patterns soon thereafter?

Deciding to shrug it off she got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom to pour herself a long, hot bubble-bath.

* * *

The first thing Chuck noted when he stepped off the elevator a week later was a whole crew of handymen. Puzzled he cruised by them and went up the stairs to Blair's bedroom where yet another handyman was hard at work. He could see the back of Serena's head stick out of the closet and Blair was on the bed, glancing through a catalogue.

"Remodeling?" he asked.

"Baby-proofing" Blair replied, turning the page in the catalogue.

"Did Grace start crawling?" Chuck asked with sarcasm, walking over to the crib. "The baby can barely hold her head up on her own accord. Why do you need the place baby-proofed?"

"I like to be prepared for when she _does_ start to crawl" Blair said. "You should get your place baby-proofed too. These things happen so fast, you know. She's already started teething."

Chuck didn't bother answering. He looked down into the crib where Grace was laying. She stared back up at him with wide eyes, fiercely shaking a tiny giraffe plushie and pretty much shaking her whole body at the same time. This went on for about a minute before Chuck began to wonder.

"What's with the Hobbit?" he asked.

"Serena gave her chocolate, so she's kind of stoned" Blair said.

"I didn't know she couldn't have chocolate" Serena defended herself, walking out from Blair's closet with a grey bolero in her hands.

"She's never had sugar before in her whole life" Blair said, glaring at Serena. "What did you think would happen?"

"Maybe before you start baby-proofing the penthouse you should baby-proof Serena" Chuck said, lifting Grace up. "Aw, baby's first buzz. Even if it was just from chocolate. When you're older I'm going to show you how much fun you can have with some-"

"Chuck no!" Blair said sharply.

"She's so dull" Chuck told the baby before turning to Blair. "Let her live a little."

"Do I need to sit you down and explain to you how it's the parents' job to protect their child and teach them good values?" Blair asked.

"A little bit of drugs never hurt anyone" Chuck claimed. "Besides, the baby's high already so clearly we've passed the point of no return on the zero tolerance thing."

Blair looked annoyed but didn't say anything else. Serena plopped down next to her on the bed and glanced in the catalogue. Chuck let the two girls continue with their business and focused on getting the baby's attention.

"Grace … Grace if you can keep your eyes in one spot for five seconds I'll tell you all about what I did today."

The baby made a long, loud noise and waved her arms and legs about some more before sticking the giraffe in her mouth.

"Geez Serena…" Chuck said. "She's completely wired."

"I'm sorry" Serena whined. "It's not my fault. How was I supposed to know you couldn't give her chocolate?"

"Again, it's tons of pure sugar in a tiny body that's never had it before" Blair said, shooting Serena a not-so-flattering look.

"Where's her baby book?" Chuck asked. "We should definitely get this landmark in there. Grace's first high."

"Next week she'll be six months" Blair pointed out, looking up from her catalogue. "While we're talking landmarks. She's starting to pass the teeny, tiny infant stage. In just a few months she might be crawling and talking."

"Ah, therefore the need for baby-proofing" Chuck concluded. "She _might_ be crawling in _only_ a _few_ months."

"That is unless she's gotten brain damage thanks to her aunt Serena" Blair said, giving the baby a worried look while Serena groaned.

"Good thing Daddy likes you even when you're as high as a kite" Chuck told the baby and kissed her cheek.

Dorota walked in and handed Blair a sheet of something. Serena and Blair both began to study it intently while Dorota slalomed past a pair of handymen on her way back out. Chuck raised an eyebrow, interest woken.

"What are you girls looking at?" he asked.

"Wallpaper samples" Blair said.

"You're baby-proofing the _wallpaper_?" Chuck asked. "When we sit down to set the new terms for custody next week I should argue for full custody on account of the baby's mother having gone insane. Or did you eat chocolate and get stoned too?"

Blair looked up and flashed him a thoroughly joyless smile.

"We're preparing a nursery for her."

"Long overdue if you ask me" Chuck said. "Keeping your baby in your own room is so lower-class."

"Yes, I'm a horrible mom for wanting my baby close" Blair said, returning her eyes to the different samples of wallpaper.

"A somewhat clingy mom."

"I agree with Chuck" Serena said. "I would have wanted a nursery from the first minute. The baby is cute and all but I would want to be able to retreat to the haven of my own bedroom every once in a while and not have the baby actually be there."

"I see you've inherited Lily's maternal instincts" Blair said dryly. "For your information it's actually preferable having the baby sleep in your room while you're nursing. It's hard enough getting out of bed umpteen times a night without having to run to an adjacent room."

"And what, the breast pump refuses to comply if it believes the milk is going to be bottle fed to the baby at night?" Chuck asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh shut your traps, both of you" Blair snarled. "It's not like either one of you have any idea what it entails to be a mother."

"Maybe not, but I would love to try being a full-time father" Chuck said.

"No you wouldn't. One week and you'd come begging for me to take her off your hands" Blair said.

"No, I would hire a nanny to help me out."

Blair snorted and tried to focus on the wallpaper samples. She had a hard time deciding on color and pattern. She didn't want anything too boyish but she wasn't so hot on pink either. A neutral color seemed best, like yellow or possibly green. Green was a good color for a bedroom since it was soothing and could make you tired. But since the nursery was also going to be a playroom for Grace once she got a bit older it may not be such a hot idea to put _too_ much focus on sleeping.

"I like this one" Serena said and pointed to an apricot wallpaper with smiling flowers on it. "The flowers are charming."

"It looks like a scene from '_Alice in Wonderland_' threw up" Blair scoffed.

"Do I get a vote?" Chuck asked.

"You haven't even seen the samples" Blair pointed out.

"Go with a light shade of whichever color you choose, and then add something with Disney characters."

"I didn't know you were such a fan of the mouse."

"It signals happy childhood, no matter how much of a sellout Disney has become" Chuck said, still trying to get the baby to focus her eyes on one spot for more than two seconds at a time. "I didn't exactly have the best childhood myself but I have only pleasant memories linked to Disney."

Blair smiled slightly at him. She wondered if he had liked Disney when he was little because many Disney characters had only one parent and he could relate to that. Blair wasn't too big on Disney herself save for a few of the princess movies but depending on which characters he had in mind she might be able to get on board.

"I'll consider it" she said. "How long do you think she's going to be this… glassy-eyed?"

"I have no idea" Chuck said.

"Aren't you supposed to be the expert on getting high?"

"Yes but I've never tried getting high on sugar" Chuck said. "Grace? Sweetie? Can you focus on Daddy for a second?"

"She's six months old, she probably doesn't understand half of the words you just said" Serena pointed out dryly.

"Of course she understands what I say" Chuck said. "She's _my_ baby. That makes her smarter than your average infant."

"I agree with the last part of that sentence, but I believe it is _in spite of_ your DNA, not because of it" Blair commented teasingly.

"Oh I'm stupid?" Chuck snorted, reaching for a pacifier sitting on Blair's nightstand. "I'm not the one who allowed Serena to get our infant stoned."

"Can we please drop that?" Serena sighed.

"You know, I'll just take Grace out for a walk" Chuck said. "I think some fresh air might do her good."

"Her next meal is in twenty minutes" Blair objected.

"So? She can wait a little longer to eat. Thanks to Aunt Serena, who made sure she had a healthy snack between meals."

Serena groaned and rolled her eyes. Blair looked up at Chuck with her I'm-the-mother-I-know-best face.

"She eats on a set schedule" she said. "No exceptions."

"What if she's not hungry when your schedule says she should eat?"

"She is."

"She can't always be."

"I know my daughter pretty well."

"Irrelevant. Nobody is _always_ hungry at the _exact_ same time each day."

"If she doesn't eat when she's supposed to then she won't nap when she's supposed to and the whole schedule falls apart."

"Ah, it's a scheduling issue" Chuck said with a nod. "Tell you what. Have Dorota pack her bib and a spoon, we'll stop by to get some baby food that can be eaten cold and I'll feed her in the park at the _exact_ minute she's supposed to eat. Do you want to synchronize watches now or right before I leave?"

"In the midst of all this witty merriment you're forgetting something" Blair said with a fake smile. "Grace hasn't started eating solid foods yet. She only eats milk."

"I've been feeding her baby food since I got back in January."

Blair's eyebrows touched the ceiling.

"You've _what_?"

"And that would be my cue to leave" Chuck realized and waved with one of Grace's hands. "Toodles."

Gaping Blair shared a look with Serena, taken too much by surprise to get up from the bed and chase after him.

"At least I'm not the bad guy anymore" Serena said, only half in jest, and returned to the samples. "Burgundy is a nice color."

Blair just shook her head and her eyes drifted to the door Chuck had walked out from. She knew he hadn't left the apartment yet, he was probably busy getting Grace into her overalls right about now, but she wasn't sure what she wanted to say to him exactly so she decided to give him until he came back before having this confrontation. It was the first major decision about Grace's care he had made on his own and it baffled her.

"Look on the bright side" Serena said, turning the page in the sample book. "At least now she didn't get stoned from the first non-milk product she ever ate."

Blair gave her a look but said nothing. She tried to focus on picking the right colors for the nursery but her mind was too busy processing this new development. On the one hand it felt encouraging that Chuck had made a parenting decision and taken active interest in a detail like that. On the other hand Blair strongly objected to someone changing Grace's diet without consulting her. And she felt cheated of being there the first time her daughter had something to eat other than milk.

"Chuck is really in for it when he gets back" Serena noted dryly and flipped the page.

Blair didn't reply. She didn't want to seem too bothered in front of Serena for some reason. It would make it seem like too big a deal. If she just shrugged it off then it wasn't such a big deal that she had missed the first time Grace had real food.

"I'm leaning towards yellow" she said and grabbed the samples from Serena. "Yellow is good for creativity."

"Do you want a lighter yellow or a brighter yellow?"

"Lighter. We don't want her to live in the sun."

"How about that one?"

Blair studied the sample Serena pointed to but her mind was already back at Chuck's revelation. She needed to make sure Serena had left before Chuck got back or she wouldn't be able to talk about it without worrying about sounding too anal.

* * *

When Chuck returned an hour later Serena had left and so had many of the contractors. Blair was sitting on the edge of her bed with her left leg crossed over her right and a stern look on her face when he walked through the door. He cast one look at her and made a face.

"Oh good, you took this like an adult" he said. "Let's move on."

"Don't you think that letting her eat solid food is something you should have discussed with me?" Blair said.

"Why?" Chuck asked. "You didn't discuss baby swim with me."

"That's different."

"How so? I checked the books, they can start having baby food from the time they're four months old. In fact it's _good_ for babies to start eating that sort of stuff before they're six months old and milk isn't enough anymore. That way it's a smoother transition."

"Oh so all of a sudden you're Dr. Spock?"

"Who's Dr. Spock?"

Blair sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Did she eat okay while you were out? I don't trust something that comes from a jar to be able to satisfy her."

"I didn't feed her anything" Chuck said. "You looked mad enough as it was, I didn't think I should push my luck. And, she wasn't hungry."

Blair gasped and looked at her watch.

"Are you effin' kidding me Bass? She's supposed to have eaten forty-five minutes ago!"

"Yet she hasn't cried or fussed or in any other way expressed a desire to have some chow" Chuck said. "Seriously Waldorf, unwind."

"Give her to me" Blair said with an annoyed frown, already buttoning down her blouse while she moved to the armchair. Heating up a bottle would take too long, Grace would have to nurse. "And don't look at me while I open my bra."

"Seeing a woman about to nurse is not all that hot" Chuck pointed out dryly.

"Don't get lippy with me. I cannot believe you force-fed our baby food from a jar for weeks and now you let her go starving!"

"Mea maxima culpa" Chuck sighed, handing Grace over to Blair. "Luckily by the grace of God she is still alive and doesn't seem to be suffering from post-traumatic stress."

"Not funny."

"Although appropriate in response to your overreaction."

"I am not overreacting. There we go Grace, isn't that nice? Dumb old Daddy letting you go hungry for almost a full hour…"

Chuck shrugged and stretched out on her bed. He didn't quite see what the big deal was but then again he wasn't sure what he had expected when he started feeding Grace puree without mentioning anything to Blair.

"Did you settle on a color for the nursery?" he asked to make conversation.

"Yellow."

"Not canary yellow I hope."

"A light lemony shade. Don't remember the exact name. Bass she's eating like she's never come in contact with food before, how can you say she wasn't starving?"

"Because she _always_ eats like that" Chuck replied. "A light yellow might work. Just don't match it with stuff in black or it will look like a bumblebee lives there."

"I wouldn't dream of having black in my baby's room."

"So that's a 'no' on Grace going Goth?"

"Ow!" Blair suddenly cried.

"What?" Chuck asked, sitting up straight.

"She bit me!" Blair cried, staring at the baby with shock.

"What?" Chuck said, and tried to hide a chuckle.

"She _bit_ me!"

"Aw, my little girl is teething" Chuck said proudly.

"Chuck it really hurt" Blair complained, looking down at Grace who was still nursing peacefully as if nothing had happened.

"Come on Blair it was an accident" Chuck said. "It's her very first time having teeth, she doesn't know what they're for."

"I suppose" Blair said. Then she yelped. "Ow! _Grace_!"

She pulled the baby back, away from her breast, earning her protest from the child. Chuck had a hard time not laughing at the highly indignant look on Blair's face.

"That was _not_ an accident" she said.

"What, you think it was premeditated?"

"You should have seen the look on her face."

"She's not sinister. You're overreacting."

"I am not!"

"Oh come on, how bad could it have been?"

"Her teeth are _sharp_."

Giving the baby a highly skeptical look she reluctantly let her nurse again, though this time from the other breast since her bitten nipple was sore. It only took seconds before Grace bit her again.

"Stop it!" Blair cried. "_No_ Grace."

"Persistent, isn't she?" Chuck smirked.

"Chuck what do I do? How do I get her to stop?"

"You're asking me? I don't know Blair, I've never given any attention to the inner workings of nursing."

"You're not getting any more food right now" Blair sternly told Grace while covering up her breasts. Grace began to cry when she realised she was being cut off but Blair didn't let that affect her. "Suit yourself. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. So to speak."

"Uh-oh" Chuck smirked. "Mommy's going to be sending you off to bed without dinner when you misbehave. When she does just give old Dad a call and I'll smuggle in some food for you. I'm curious, are you no longer concerned that she will starve to death? Just five minutes ago she was apparently on death's doorstep."

"You want to try having her suck on _your_ nipples?" Blair asked angrily. "I'm telling you it really hurts when she bites. I think I'm bleeding a little."

"She's a weakling" Chuck said to Grace. Then he turned to Blair. "This might be the natural point where you stop breastfeeding and begin feeding her normal food only."

"Hey, some women nurse their babies for up to two years."

"Some nurse their children until they're in double-digit ages" Chuck replied. "Doesn't mean it's the best option. Or the sanest."

"I want to keep nursing her" Blair sulked, resting Grace against her shoulder while trying to soothe her. "At least in the evenings. I think it's good for her."

"Right now you have two choices" Chuck pointed out. "Either let Grace versus Nipple round four begin or feed her something else. Or let her go hungry."

"Would you please go tell Dorota to heat up a bottle?" Blair sulked.

"As you wish" Chuck nodded, getting up from where he was sitting. "Or if you're interested I've actually got some baby food in a jar with me."

Blair bit her lower lip and thought it over. She wasn't ready to fully give up on nursing yet nor did she think it was wise to completely change Grace's diet from one day to another but apparently her daughter had been eating food out of a jar for about a month already. It couldn't make much of a difference if she had that kind of food now too.

"Okay" she reluctantly said. "But you had better made sure that the food is safe for her to eat and that it's got the proper nutrients and-"

"It's _baby food_. Of course it's alright for her to eat. Let's bring her downstairs and sit her in her chair."

Blair adjusted her clothes with one hand while holding the baby close with the other. Then she got up and followed Chuck downstairs. He strolled off into the kitchen to find a spoon and a bowl while Blair placed Grace in her chair. She had only begun to put the baby in her own chair a few days ago and it still felt a bit odd to see Grace sitting by the table instead of on the table in her carry-cot.

A few minutes later Chuck returned with a bowl, a spoon, a jar and a towel. He set the things down on the table and carefully placed the towel around the baby as a replacement for a bib. Blair picked up the jar and studied it with a frown.

"Bass!" she said with disapproval. "This is pear puree."

"Yeah so?"

"So you're not supposed to start them off with fruit" Blair said angrily.

"Why, what's wrong with fruit?"

"Nothing! Except it's sweet and they won't want to eat other food later on if they start with something sweet."

"Oops" Chuck shrugged. "Too late. I started her on carrot puree and moved on to pear last week."

"See?" Blair said. "_This_ is why you shouldn't make decisions like this without consulting me first."

"If it's any consolation she's only had puree like five times" Chuck said, grabbing the jar from Blair and screwing it open. "I promise I'll switch to something else."

"If we're going to start feeding her other stuff than milk we're going to have to buy her proper bowls and spoons" Blair noted with a frown, studying the porcelain bowl Chuck had placed in front of the baby. "And a mug for her to drink from. Hang on, I'm going to go get a bottle from the fridge. She'll need something to drink."

"Right, I forgot" Chuck said. "Usually I pour a bit of milk in the bowl too; she seems to like it better that way."

Blair walked off to get the milk and Chuck emptied half the jar into the bowl. Grace studied him with interest and he smiled a little.

"Hungry, huh? You're a little devil aren't you, biting your mother. I can understand that it might happen once but biting her again? Admit it, you thought it was funny that you got a reaction out of her."

Grace leaned forward and reached for the bowl. Chuck had to reach out and steady her a bit. He smirked and adjusted the towel.

"Sure, try to change the subject. But I'm on to you. And I want you to know there's no judgment from me. I'm the expert in provoking her just to get a reaction. I don't know about you, but my heart kind of skips a beat when she gets that look on her face that…"

He trailed off when Blair returned with a bottle, screwing it open to pour a bit of milk into the bowl. She sat down and screwed the top of the bottle back on while Chuck stirred the milk with the puree. When he lifted the spoon Blair harked.

"What?" he asked. "Did I forget to say graces?"

"No" Blair said, putting the bottle down. "But I want to feed her. You've already been doing this behind my back, now it's my turn."

"Go ahead" Chuck shrugged.

Blair grabbed the spoon and started talking to the baby, making funny faces and all kinds of tricks to make Grace want to eat. Chuck rolled his eyes. As if their baby needed any encouragement to eat.

"You're overdoing it" he said.

"I am not! You have to make it fun for her."

"Blair she's never turned down a meal a day in her life; she's like a dog. Just feed her like she's not a complete moron."

"It's supposed to be _fun_ for her! How do you not get the most basic aspect in getting your baby to want to eat solid foods?"

"Well I don't put on shows just to get her to eat" Chuck said. "I'm Chuck Bass."

Blair rolled her eyes but turned back to Grace who eagerly opened her mouth to get some food. Blair put the tea spoon in her mouth and Grace ate about half of the puree and ended up with the rest on her face. Chuck glanced at Blair and thought she was tearing up.

"Are you crying?"

"I can't believe my little baby is having actual food" Blair said emotionally.

"It's essentially mashed pear. Only a women with ties to the fashion industry could consider that '_actual food_'."

Blair continued to feed Grace who ate with an appetite but got most of the food outside of the mouth. Chuck knew Blair was right, they needed to get proper things for her to eat with. Baby spoons, baby bowls and a baby mug would be much better. But for now this would suffice.

* * *

The following day after school Chuck headed off to a store Blair had texted the address to, wondering what she was up to now. He walked inside the store, recognizing it as _the_ baby store for the crème-de-la-crème of society, and immediately spotted Blair. She was leaned over the expensive pram adjusting something which he assumed was part of Grace's clothing. He walked over with his hands in his pockets.

"What's up Waldorf?" he asked. "Why are we meeting here?"

"Grace needs utensils" Blair said.

"Am I flattered you feel you need my opinion before you can buy her something or offended that you don't trust me to be able to pick out a bowl that's both chic and functional for when she's with me?" he asked dryly.

"A little of both" Blair said.

He peaked in the stroller and found Grace awake so he leaned over her to say hello. As he did his scarf ended up just an inch above the baby and she greedily reached up and grabbed a firm hold of it.

"No" Chuck frowned. "Grace let go. The scarf is Daddy's and you can't have it."

"Let her hold the scarf Bass" Blair said. "She's really taken a liking to that thing."

"She's an infant" Chuck frowned. "She can't be trusted with it. Which she's already proven by drooling on it and spitting up on it. Besides, she'll take a liking to a sponge if you let her play with it for long enough."

He gently but firmly grabbed her hand and made her let go of the scarf. Grace began to cry furiously and Blair shot him an angry look.

"Just give her the scarf."

"I most certainly will not" Chuck said. "Besides, do you really want to teach her that if she cries for something she will automatically get it?"

"That's exactly what I want to teach her" Blair said, leaning over the baby trying to soothe her. "And she's a _baby_. You can't reason with her."

"That might be genetic since you can't reason with me either. The scarf stays around my neck and that's the end of that."

"Damn it Bass…" Blair growled, lifting Grace up to try and calm her down that way. She hated when the baby screamed in public. "You know, she's already had that thing while you were in Thailand. What's one more afternoon?"

"She has to learn the difference between mine and hers."

Blair shot him a look and grabbed a pacifier, placing it in Grace's mouth.

"I no longer feel bad about the twist to this outing" she said.

"Excuse me?" Chuck said warily.

"I invited someone to come along. Oh and here she is now!"

Chuck turned and saw Lily walking in. He turned back to Blair who had just gotten the baby to quiet down and gave her a death glare.

"Lily? You invited Lily? What possible good could that do? It's enough that I have to avoid her at breakfast, I don't particularly care for having to avoid her over shopping too."

"Believe it or not it's a favor" Blair said, putting the baby back in the pram. "Ever since Bart's death paparazzi in New York have liked to follow you. Getting photographed when you're out with me, Grace _and_ your darling adoptive mother would send a message of unity, don't you think?"

Chuck had a really poisonous reply at the tip of his tongue but before he could say anything Lily reached them and smiled warmly at them both.

"Charles, pleasure as always" she said.

"For you, I bet."

"Blair, thank you for inviting me" Lily continued. "And there's little Grace. My you've gotten so big. I haven't seen you since-"

"Since my father died?" Chuck asked.

"Behave Chuck" Blair said icily. Then she turned to Lily. "I'm so glad you could join us. I'm at a complete loss with what to buy. There are so many different things to choose from. I thought asking a mother would be best since you have so much experience."

Chuck would have liked to comment on the ridiculousness of that statement but decided to hold his tongue. He followed behind Lily and Blair as they walked around the store looking for the best spoons, bowls, bibs and mugs.

"I don't see how this is in any way difficult" Chuck said, examining a mug in his hand. "Just ask the store clerk what is the best and buy that. What does it matter if it's got a ducky on it or a little girl or a soldier of the 101st airborne?"

"These things matter" Blair argued.

"Of course they do" Lily agreed, picking out a bowl from a shelf. "The utensils you get will be Grace's first own bowl, spoon and mug. It's a big deal."

"I'm thinking we should go with yellow" Blair said. "I've chosen yellow for her nursery."

"What an excellent choice."

Chuck put the mug he had been holding back on the shelf and said nothing. He walked over to a collection of bibs and eyed the selection while Blair and Lily chattered about bowls and spoons and whether or not lemons were cuter than lions or sunflowers.

"I wonder if they have any bibs with hundred dollar bills on them" he said. "That sounds like it would fit her."

Blair snorted.

"I think we're going with the sunflowers" she said. "How many of each do you think we need Lily?"

"That depends" Chuck said. "Were you planning on throwing a lot of baby parties?"

Blair ignored him and directed most of her comments and questions to Lily. After a while they had settled for a number of utensils and bibs, enough so that they could keep a stock both at Blair's and at Chuck's. Chuck thought they would be done after that but once Blair had stepped inside a store like this she clearly had no plans on leaving anytime soon.

"Oh would you look at these toys?" she gushed and pushed the pram over to the other end of the store to look at infant toys. "Wouldn't Grace just love these?"

Chuck was more than a little bored as he followed her around the store. He glanced over at the baby who had fallen asleep and made a comment that he couldn't blame her. It took almost an hour before they were done and stepped back outside into the chilly February afternoon, several hundred dollars poorer.

"Care to walk with us Lily?" Blair asked in a chipper tone. "I thought I'd take Gracie on a stroll through the park. It's such a lovely day."

Chuck smirked.

"Blair can I ask you something?" he said, putting his sunglasses on. "How can you be so sure we'll get photographed by paparazzi? That _is_ the sole reason why we're all out walking the baby together, isn't it?"

"Oh Charles, you can at least pretend to enjoy a shopping trip like this" Lily said in a slightly disapproving tone. "If people see it as a sign of unity between the key people at Bass Industries than that is just icing on the cake."

"I'm fine with sending that message if it's beneficial to the company" Chuck said, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep them warm. "But if no paparazzi show up then I'd consider this a giant waste of time."

"They'll be there" Blair said.

"How do you know?"

She didn't answer, concentrating on getting the pram down from the sidewalk. Chuck grinned and shook his head.

"You paid photographers, didn't you? Wow, I had no idea you even knew the numbers for any paparazzi."

"I'm really bored after lunch sometimes while the baby naps" Blair said.

"Fair enough" Chuck said with a shrug and followed behind Lily and Blair as they walked into the park.

Three days later he opened a newspaper and found a large picture of himself, Blair and Lily walking the baby. He had to admit that judging by the picture they seemed almost like a weird kind of family. The photographer had managed to capture Chuck smiling while saying something and glancing down in the pram. Blair and Lily both had smiles on their faces too and were looking down at Grace. Along with the picture was a brief article on how the new heads of Bass Industries were out having fun with the youngest member of the family. Although he resented Lily Chuck found himself looking at the picture and almost wishing that whoever had written about it was right and they were a happy family together.

* * *

Later that week Chuck sat down on a chair by the crib in his bedroom and looked down at Grace who was sleeping soundly. Next to her was the penguin from Bart and above her a new mobile Chuck had picked up at the store with Blair and Lily. He was still a little scared and overwhelmed when he had her in his care but by and by he was growing more confident.

"We're doing okay, aren't we?" he asked the baby in a whisper.

During his nights with Grace he usually kept to his room with her, avoiding Lily. He tolerated his adoptive mother at this point but no more than that. Serena would usually stop by and coo over Grace for a while until the baby started screaming at which point Serena would hurry out the door. Sometimes Eric would come in for a while but for the most part it was just Chuck and Grace.

"You're okay with just me though, aren't you?" he mumbled.

Whenever he had her over he felt a bit depressed even though he was glad to get to spend time with her. Taking care of her overnight in this penthouse made it impossible not to think about Bart. He missed his father more than he wanted to, especially during these nights. He kept expecting Bart to walk into the room and check on Grace or make some comments about something or to give him unwelcome fatherly advice. Earlier this evening he had found himself assuming Bart was away on business since he hadn't been in, then the realization of where Bart really was had hit him. It was difficult to deal with and as much as he was beginning to care for Grace it was a rather touchy subject to think of his father and his daughter in combination. Bart had been very fond of the baby and by now Chuck had been able to admit to himself that he had been jealous.

"Seriously, how lame is that?" he mumbled to the baby. "Your dad being jealous of you because your grandfather loves you?"

He reached down and picked up the penguin, studying it with lazy interest. His father had bought a lot of things for Grace but this had been the first. Chuck had thought it was stupid, stuffed animals were for older children and penguins were lame. If Bart had lived this toy would soon have ended up in a box in storage somewhere, or forgotten in some corner of Grace's future room. Now that Bart was gone Chuck wanted to keep the stupid thing. It felt right that Grace should grow up with the penguin her grandfather had given her when they first met. Chuck would probably always feel conflicted when he saw it but it was just something he would have to learn to accept.

He studied Grace silently and wondered what he was supposed to do once she needed more parenting than she did at present. When rules would start to be set, when actual upbringing would come into play. Who was Chuck supposed to ask for advice? Lily? Not a chance. Even if he had many objections to Bart's parenting skills at least it had always been nice to have someone to lean on. Bart had always been there to offer advice, whether good or bad, and Chuck had always known that his father was someone he could turn to if he needed it. If nothing else he could listen to what Bart would do and then go in the opposite direction. But regardless of his relationship to Bart his father had done _some_ things right. Chuck had managed to make it to seventeen after all and there were useful things his father had taught him. Business sense for one, how to negotiate for another. And more standard things as well. Bart had taught him his ABCs one summer when Chuck was five, to this day he remembered the two of them sitting by the coffee table at the house they had then had in the Hamptons, Bart's old ABC book open in front of them. There must have been a million little details over the years, things Chuck had never thought about and wouldn't have in mind when similar situations arose with his own child. He was scared of having to bring her up without Bart there to help guide him.

"How badly do you think I'm going to screw you up?" he asked Grace in a sigh. He reached a hand down and gently caressed her. "My dad didn't exactly do a good job parenting and he was an adult when I was born. I've got all his lacking parenting skills _and_ I don't even know who the hell I am yet. I make bad choices all the time, there's a reason why I'm not the most popular guy at school. How can I teach you to be a great person and to make the right choices and guide you through life when I'm such a mess myself?" He studied the penguin. "Or maybe Bart really did do a great job only some children just can't be shaped into good people. If so then you're probably doubly screwed. Then again you have Blair and she'll excel at this whole mother thing, I have no doubt of it. She already has excelled. You managed to make me open my heart to you, do you know how big that is Grace? And you did it at only a few months of age. We were practically strangers. Granted you had a favorable starting ground seeing as how you are part Blair, and I love her."

He put the penguin back down by the baby and looked at her dejectedly. He would never know what had really gone on in his father's heart or mind. All he knew was what he had seen and what he had seen was Bart fawning over Grace in a way he could never remember that he had ever done over Chuck. Though he probably shouldn't feel jealous. It wasn't Grace's fault that she was more loveable. Or that she hadn't killed the love of Bart's life. Still Chuck couldn't understand why his father had been so fond of his granddaughter but not of his son.

The door opened and he looked up, expecting Serena but finding Lily. He frowned, not in the mood to deal with her.

"Whatever it is we can talk about it tomorrow" he said.

"How's the baby?"

"She'll be better once we're alone."

"Charles" Lily said, smiling slightly, unaffected by his resentment. "I don't expect you to think of me as a mother-"

"Good. I don't think Serena or Eric even think of you as a mother."

"But nonetheless," she continued, ignoring his comment, "it would be nice if we could at least speak civilly to each other."

"Could we perhaps speak civilly to each other tomorrow? Grace has gone to sleep and I don't want to wake her up."

"Grab the baby monitor and join me in the living room."

He sighed and got up, walking over to his nightstand to grab the monitor sitting there. He rarely used the baby monitor, usually when Grace was with him she was in the same room as he was, but now that she had grown bigger he had begun to let her sleep in her crib whenever she needed a nap and in those cases the monitor came in handy. He followed Lily out to the living room and sat down, the monitor in his hand. Lily came over with a trey with tea and scones, making him roll his eyes and feel an urge to ask her if she thought he was part-British. He kept silent as she poured him a cup and handed it to him. He studied her with little interest as she poured a cup for herself and sat down next to him.

"It's such a shame to have that little girl in this house more often but rarely ever get to see her" she said.

"I see her plenty."

"And that's good. But do feel free to let her play out here a little more often."

"Feel free to baby-proof the place if you want her out here."

"So…" Lily asked after a minute of silence. "How is everything going? Are you okay taking care of her?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"It must be difficult to raise your baby girl without your father here to help."

Chuck snorted and got up, having no interest in discussing this with her.

"Just because Blair took us both shopping this week that doesn't mean you and I do stuff together and it certainly doesn't mean I will talk to you about the man I lost because of you. Goodnight Lily."

"Charles…"

He wasn't sure why but he stopped. He turned and looked at her, wondering what she wanted. Couldn't she just leave him alone?

"I don't think I've told you this but he was very proud of you" Lily said.

"Touching" Chuck said dryly.

"Listen Charles…" Lily said, rising from the couch. "I know saying it was never Bart's strong suit but he loved you very much. Even if he didn't tell you he told me."

Chuck had to swallow hard to keep the feeling that came over him at bay. He wasn't sure what had prompted Lily to say this and why she chose to say it now. More than that he wasn't sure how to respond. He wanted to believe what she said was true but it was such an easy thing for her to say now after Bart's death to try and win him back over.

"I think I'll call it a night" he said and walked to his bedroom.

Once inside he tossed the monitor on the bed and walked over to the crib, looking down at the baby. He suddenly remembered something Bart had said the night Grace was born, something about how the way Chuck felt about his then unnamed daughter was the same way Bart felt about him. It was too strange to imagine. He walked over to his bed and lay down, feeling a headache coming. He might as well go to bed and try to get some sleep since the baby would no doubt wake up in a few hours and demand attention. And he could no longer hope for Bart to come down the stairs to help him out when the baby fussed during the night.

* * *

The whole thing with the chocolate might not be the most probable scenario but I was in contact once with a baby who had never had sugar for and looked kind of stoned when he had chocolate. I played it up a bit here though.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading and please review!


	40. Chapter 40

So who's up for more drama? No one? Okay. Too bad 'cause I decided to let the last chapter be more of a breather and then start up some new troubles, mean little spirit that I am. Though this won't be quite as dramatic as Bart's death and its aftermath. But there will be some new storylines started here which will hopefully be enjoyable.

* * *

Blair stifled a yawn as the elevator made its way up. She was on her way to pick up Grace, but almost felt tempted to ask Chuck to keep her another night. On one hand she missed her baby immensely. On the other hand she was exhausted and would love another full night with no interruptions. She couldn't wait until the baby reached whatever age it was when they slept though every night.

She reached the penthouse floor and stepped off the elevator. Chuck was by the kitchen counter, holding the baby and looking at her with a proud smile. Blair thought that maybe she _could_ ask Chuck to keep her another night. She could stay for a while, get her fix of the baby and then go. Then she immediately dismissed the thought, knowing she would be crying for the baby in an hour or two if she didn't bring her back home. A few months ago Blair would never even have considered it, no matter how weary she was. Chuck hadn't seemed to be able to connect with the child very well and had seemed to think of her as a burden. Something was different now, she could see it in his eyes when he looked at Grace. She wondered what it felt like for him to only get to have her one night of the week. Blair would freak out of she only got one night out of seven with the baby. Sooner or later Chuck would request a new arrangement, more days of the week when he got the child. Blair dreaded those days.

They now had new terms of custody but they didn't differ all that much from the previous terms and were only valid until the baby's first birthday. Blair had insisted that Grace should continue to live mainly with her given her young age and Chuck had surprisingly enough agreed. However he had made demands that he should get her for two nights each week and that in a few months' time they should alternate between him having her two days a week and three days a week. Blair wasn't overly fond of the idea but knew it was reasonable so she had agreed. A total of ten days each month wasn't all that much anyway in the grand scheme of things; Grace would still be with Blair for two thirds of each month. At some point Chuck would get her every other week, and the mere thought of that made Blair want to cry.

But, at least that day would not be today. Chuck had yet to enforce the two nights a week agreement on more than one occasion in the three weeks that had gone by since their new arrangement was set and it made Blair hopeful that he might not want to have Grace half-time at any point.

"Look Gracie, there's Mommy" Chuck said and kissed the girl's cheek. "Should we tell her what you did today?"

"She didn't throw up on something highly valuable, did she?" Blair asked warily.

Chuck laughed.

"No she did not."

With a relieved sigh Blair walked up to them and greeted the baby, giving her a loving kiss and running her hand through her hair.

"I missed you" she said.

"She would like to tell you that she missed you too" Chuck said. "But for one, she can't talk yet. And for another she's been too busy to have time to miss you."

"What do you mean?" Blair asked, glancing up at Chuck while adjusting the collar on Grace's blouse.

"Our little progeny sat up on her own today."

Blair's jaw dropped to the floor.

"What?"

"Yeah. I had her on the floor, she rolled over and pulled herself up to sitting! Of course, then I had to help her so she didn't fall over. But we have a sitting baby."

"Oh my God!" Blair gushed, all thoughts of how tiresome motherhood could be forgotten. She gently took Grace's face between her palms and rubbed her nose against the baby's. "Can you show me?"

"We can try" Chuck said. "She did it once more after that, but it's hard to get them to do it on command."

He walked towards the couch and sat down on the rug, putting Grace down next to him. Blair sat down next to them and made funny faces at the child.

"What does that say about babies, really?" Chuck mused. "A dog can do stuff on command but not our daughter."

"No, our girl does things when _she_ pleases, don't you Grace?" Blair said. "Come on, show Mommy what you can do!"

Chuck couldn't help but laugh.

"You just said she does things when _she_ pleases… and now you're trying to get her to do stuff on command."

Blair shot him a look, but kept her smile. They both turned their attention to the little girl, who was eyeing them both skeptically.

"You want to show Mommy what you did?" Chuck asked her encouragingly.

"Show Mommy!" Blair echoed.

They waited eagerly but nothing happened. No matter how much her parents encouraged her Grace just looked at them and made no effort to get up. After fifteen minutes Chuck got up from his spot on the floor.

"Maybe she needs a carrot" he said.

He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bright yellow spatula which he then held over Grace's head.

"See this?" he said. "You want this? Come on dearie, try to get it."

Blair couldn't keep a smile from her face. The look on Grace's face when she saw the spatula was adorable, as was Chuck's talk-to-children voice which she had never really heard before. He always seemed to speak to the baby as if she were a grown-up but right now he had a much softer tone in his voice which she found incredibly charming.

"Go get the spatula" Blair encouraged the baby on.

It didn't work. After a few seconds Grace deemed the spatula highly uninteresting and began to look at other things. Chuck shrugged and sat back down.

"Sorry Blair. Looks like we're not getting a performance out of the diva tonight. But don't worry, I'm sure she'll sit up again sometime between now and old age."

"I just can't believe I missed it" Blair said and looked sad. "I really wanted to see it. The first time my baby sits up on her own."

"I'm _glad_ she did it while she was here" Chuck said. "I only get two nights a week with her and she's not actually here that often even. I'll probably miss almost everything. First word, first crawl, first steps…"

"First display of attitude" Blair commented.

"That happened at about two weeks of age" Chuck snorted.

"She's a stubborn one" Blair nodded. "She will be a handful until the day we die."

"Ah, who wants a kid with no will of their own?" Chuck said, grabbing Grace's foot and moving it back and forth. "I think it's kind of funny. I mean, even when she was only a few weeks old she would spot something and get really pissed if she couldn't reach it to investigate it. She's a doer, this one."

"And today she did something really big and I didn't get to see it."

"Blair, come on…" Chuck said. "You missed one thing. How much do you think I'm going to miss? How much haven't I missed already?"

Blair avoided his eyes and didn't respond. Chuck didn't say anything else either. She looked up and he was studying the baby, looking dejected.

"Have you eaten?" he asked, out of the blue.

"I ate with Mom and Cyrus about an hour ago."

"Oh" he said with a nod. "I was going to offer you to join us for dinner before you leave. Serena's coming home soon and I thought you might want to…"

He trailed off. Blair smiled faintly.

"I'm in no hurry. I could stay a while."

He smiled back at her. She wanted so badly to reach out her hand and put it over his. To feel his skin against hers. She knew that was unlikely to happen. They both felt the constant pull but neither dared to act on it. Especially not here, not now, when anyone could walk in on them at any time. But right now it was just the two of them and their daughter and Blair hoped it would stay this way for as long as possible. No interruptions. Just the baby on the floor and Chuck's eyes locked on hers.

"Baaaaaawa" Grace suddenly said.

Quick as lightning Blair and Chuck stopped looking at each other and turned their eyes over to the child.

"Did you hear that?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah" Blair nodded. "She made a noise with two syllables."

"She _talked_."

"No Chuck, she did not."

"Yes she did" Chuck said and lifted the baby up into his arms. "My daughter is a _genius_. Six months old and already talking."

"She sits up _and_ says her first word on the same day? That wasn't even a word, Chuck."

"Yes it was. She said '_papa_'."

"What? That sound started with a B."

"No it didn't." He gave the baby a hug and switched to his new baby-voice. "You like me the best, don't you? Yes you do."

"Daaaa..." Grace said.

"Oh look, she said '_yes_' in Russian. Daddy's little girl is a communist" Blair said with a sarcastic smirk.

"She said '_dad_'. More proof that she likes me more."

Blair realized something and grabbed Chuck's arm.

"Oh my God Chuck. Do you realize what she just said?"

"Blair try to keep up."

"She said '_Prada_'!"

"What?"

"Yeah, she just said Prada! Only she said it with a little… pause in the middle."

"Now you've lost it completely" Chuck snorted. "A moment ago you were convinced the first noise she made started with a B."

"You can't fault her for getting a letter or two mixed up" Blair said. "It's her first time speaking. And she said Prada!"

"She said Papa and Dad, didn't you Grace? Mommy's delusional…"

"Yeah, _I_ am" Blair said with rolling eyes. Then she reached out her hands and grabbed the baby from Chuck. "You said Prada, you little angel!" she fawned. "Six months old and already with a developed taste for fashion!"

"It does not count if she took a minute long pause in the middle of it" Chuck argued. "You're just mad that she said '_dada_' before she said '_mama_'. Proving once and for all which one of us she likes the best."

"I know what I heard Bass, she said Prada."

"How often do you take minute long pauses in the middle of words?" Chuck snorted. "Why don't you just accept the fact that she clearly prefers me to you?"

"Oh of course she does! What, with how you breastfeed her and spend the most time with her and comfort her when she wakes up screaming in the middle of the night."

"You do all of that and still she prefers her Papa. What does that say?" Chuck smirked and made funny faces at Grace.

"Don't listen to Daddy" Blair told the girl. "He is a stupid head."

"Don't say things like that about our daughter's favorite parent."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Chuck you're so full of it. Who has ever heard of a six month-old talking, anyway? She's making two-syllable noises and you're reading too much into it."

"Says the woman who five seconds ago was insisting that the baby just dropped a brand name" Chuck replied. "For your information the baby book says six month-olds can start saying words with two syllables. Such as… wait for it… Dada!"

"I'd say it's a lot more likely that she learns to say '_Prada'_ before she learns to say '_dada'_" Blair said and got up from the floor. "Where is her little comb? Her hair gets so messy when she's lying on her back all the time. I hope this sitting up straight thing wasn't just a fluke. The sooner she learns to sit properly the better off her hair and posture will be."

"Yes, that's the most important part of her learning to sit up on her own" Chuck commented dryly.

She gave him a look but then grinned good-naturedly and walked over to the couch to search Grace's bag for the comb. She found it and sat down to try and comb the unruly curls. Chuck watched them with a smile, sad to know Grace was leaving but happy for each moment the three of them could spend all together. And no matter what Blair said he chose to believe Grace had said '_dada_'.

* * *

That evening Blair gave the baby a bath and then sat down with her in the armchair in her bedroom. Blair entertained herself by making different sounds to the baby which Grace then seemed to try to repeat.

"You are such a smart girl" Blair said. "My big baby, learning to pull yourself up. Won't be long now before you're taking your first ballet class and learning how to play tennis."

"Muh…" Grace said.

"You're going to be a nationally ranked tennis player just like me, aren't you?" Blair continued. "And play the piano like Chuck."

"Muh… mah" Grace said.

"Wait, did you just… Did you just say: '_Mama_'?"

Blair rose from the chair and studied the baby carefully.

"Honey did you just call me Mama?"

"Muh… muh" Grace said.

"Well that's close enough!" Blair said, absolutely thrilled. "Oh my God! Oh my God you just said my name. Or, no, I mean you called me Mama. You _are_ a little genius!"

She gave the baby a big kiss and Grace squealed with delight. Blair quickly headed for the door.

"Come, we have to tell people about this! Right now!" She walked out into the hallway. "Mother? Dorota? Cyrus? Anybody there? Come quick!"

"Blair?" Eleanor said, coming out from her bedroom with Cyrus in tow. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

"Has something happened with baby?" Dorota asked, coming hurrying up the stairs. "Is everything alright?"

"Grace just called me Mama!" Blair gushed.

"She did?" Cyrus exclaimed. "That is amazing!"

"My granddaughter is a genius!" Eleanor declared and walked up to give the baby a big kiss. "Can you make her say it again?"

"Grace say '_mama_'" Blair said. "Say '_mama_'."

"Muh… muh" the baby offered, to which the adults all cheered.

"Isn't she outstanding?" Blair grinned.

"Yay!" Cyrus cheered. "We need to celebrate."

"Dorota, go get a bottle of champagne" Eleanor said. "Blair's favorite vintage." She turned to Blair. "Have you called Charles?"

"No not yet" Blair said. "Not that he will be as thrilled as I am. He think she said: '_Dada_' earlier in the day."

"Nonsense" Eleanor said, taking the baby from Blair. "Babies this age tend to make two-syllable sounds. It's just a coincidence that they happened to sound like '_dada_'."

"That's what I said!" Blair said, just like her mother choosing to ignore that if that was true then Grace saying '_mama_' was also just a coincidence.

They made their way down the stairs with the baby, who at first seemed a bit startled at all the attention but by and by started to realize that when she made sounds people reacted positively. By the time Cyrus had opened the champagne bottle it was practically impossible to get Grace to be quiet. Blair had taken a seat on the couch with Grace on her lap and the baby excitedly waved her arms and tried making all kinds of series of noises.

"She's going to be an early talker, that's for sure" Eleanor grinned.

"Of course she is" Blair said. "She said her first word at six months."

Dorota couldn't resist rolling her eyes at that but she kept silent and let Blair have her happy moment.

"My brilliant little granddaughter is going to be a shoe-in for whatever college she chooses when she's your age Blair" Eleanor said.

"I think she's going to choose an exciting major" Blair mused. "Nothing lame like English or drama. Something that requires real brains and tenacity. Like law. Chuck is set on her taking over Bass Industries some day but her life is too precious to be wasted away at the offices of some glorified real estate company."

"Way to honor legacy" Dorota commented and filled Blair's champagne flute.

"Speaking of Charles…" Eleanor said. "How did things go last night?"

"Everything went fine, though he's going to start implementing his rights to having her for two nights a week" Blair said, looking a touch dejected. "I knew this was coming but it still feels difficult. I know he wants her weekends but it's not fair that he should get her _every_ weekend and I only get her on school nights."

"You could have an arrangement where you alternate between the baby being with her father on weekends and her being with him two week nights" Cyrus said.

"We're probably going to have to" Blair said, placing a kiss on Grace's head. "Gosh you've turned talkative. I can barely hear myself speak."

Grace had turned her volume up once people started talking more amongst themselves and focused less on her. Blair gave her a little tickle which brought a brief end to the endless stream of syllables coming from the baby. Deep down she knew Grace hadn't really called her '_Mama_' but it did make her immensely proud that she was now making two-syllable sounds.

* * *

Blair and Serena stepped off the elevator at the Bass/van der Woodsen residence with a bottle of champagne and a box of macaroons. They were both giggling with excitement and had a lot to celebrate. Both of them had received great news earlier in the day.

Chuck was on the couch, holding Grace who was sitting on the coffee table. By now him and Blair had agreed that he would alternate between having her Friday to Sunday and having her Wednesday to Friday, starting this week when Blair had dropped Grace off Wednesday evening. It was now Friday afternoon and when Blair went back home she would take Grace with her. She had spent most of the previous day visiting the baby and by now she was dying to get to bring her back home. She stopped by the couch and shared a look with Serena.

"Sometimes I think he's at about the same mental capacity as her, the way they can sit like that for like half an hour at a time" she said.

"I just sat her down" Chuck said, looking up. "She woke up from her nap about ten minutes ago."

"Hi angel!" Serena cooed and made funny faces at the baby, who looked at her like she was crazy.

"Baby's smart" Blair noted and put the box of macaroons down on the kitchen counter.

As if to prove her mother wrong Grace grabbed Chuck's tie and shoved it in her mouth.

"Hey!" Chuck objected, gently taking the tie back.

"That's what you get for wearing stuff that's fun to put in your mouth" Blair said. "You should see what happens when I try to wear my long pearl necklace. Why the tie, anyway? It looks pretty pretentious on a seventeen year-old on an average Friday."

"Lily and I sat down with some of the execs at Bass Industries" Chuck explained. "They left about an hour ago, and Lily went out as well."

"There's some exposition I didn't really need" Blair shrugged.

Chuck grabbed the baby's hand as she reached for the tie again. He cast a quick glance at Blair and Serena.

"What's with the bubbly?"

"We've got cause for celebration" Serena grinned, taking a seat on the couch opposite Chuck. "Be a good boy and I'll let you have a sip."

Without answering Chuck lifted the baby up and turned her around, placing her on his lap facing the table. He then grabbed the toy hammer sitting on the table and gave it to Grace. It was the kind that went with figures in different shapes that were meant to be hammered through the matching holes on a block. Grace paid no attention to the hammer, dropping it on Chuck's foot in favor of reaching for the blue squared block.

"Ow!" Chuck complained. "Blair could you pick that up? I can't reach."

Without a word Blair picked the hammer up and placed it next to the rest of the toy. Grace continued to ignore it, holding the blue squared block in one hand and the green star shaped block in the other, staring from one to the other like she had just found the holy grail.

"So why the big celebration?" Chuck finally asked, trying to get the baby to put the blocks in their proper holes.

"I got accepted to Brown" Serena smiled.

"Good for you" Chuck offered.

"And I got into Yale!" Blair exclaimed, unable to hold her excitement in any longer. "Can you believe it? _Yale_. Finally, I can put my mind at ease. Even with pregnancy and a baby I managed to secure a spot at the college I am destined to attend."

Chuck frowned.

"You got into Yale?"

"Did you not just hear me shriek that?"

Serena waved to a servant to bring over three champagne flutes while Blair took a seat next to Chuck and gave the baby a big kiss on the cheek.

"Did you hear that, angel?" she said. "Mommy's going to go to Yale!"

Chuck said nothing. He had completely let all thoughts of college slip his mind and barely even remembered going with Blair to Yale so that she could have her interview. He hadn't thought for a second that she would get accepted, not this year. How she managed to study hard enough while taking care of the baby was a mystery to him, but if nothing else he would have thought dean Berube would hesitate to give a spot to an eighteen year-old with an infant.

"This is the best news in forever!" Blair exclaimed, kissing Grace's cheek again.

"So you got in" Chuck concluded. "Congratulations. You should call the school right away and tell them you're happy to attend, but you will be deferring for a year."

"Say what now?" Blair asked, looking up at him.

"You can't go this fall. It's great that you've gotten in but you need to wait a year."

"Says who?" Blair asked, exasperated.

"Says the fact that you have a baby. You did good with high school, I'll give you that, but college is a lot harder."

"I'm sorry, but since when do you determine whether or not I can handle both school and a kid?"

"Let me put it this way then" Chuck said and looked at her with firm eyes. "Yale is in Connecticut. The baby stays in New York. You want to go? Fine. But Grace stays in New York. Don't think anything else."

"Says who?" Blair snorted.

"Says her father."

"Well I'm her mother and I outrank you" Blair said.

"You did back when her residence was your womb. Her residence now is New York City and that is not about to change."

Serena looked highly uncomfortable at what would no doubt be an argument for the ages. A woman on the staff came over with three filled champagne flutes and set them down in front of the three teens. Nobody made a move to drink it.

"Chuck me going to Yale is not some huge surprise" Blair pointed out. "You know I want to go. You were supportive last fall when you came with me to campus."

"Things have changed since then. I haven't applied to Yale and I don't intend on going to college anywhere near New Haven."

"You can have the baby on weekends. Come up and visit."

"Blair how do you think this is going to work?" he asked. "You will have your hands full with school while neglecting my baby girl and on the weekends, if you're not cramming for an exam, you won't be so happy to hand her over to me."

"I would never neglect her" Blair snorted.

"Sure you would. Just like our parents neglected us. It's in our nature and you can't possibly think that you will be able to handle college and be a full-time mom. Who's going to look after Grace when you're in class or when you're nose deep in literature?"

"That's why we have nannies."

"Forget it" Chuck said. "She's not going to be pawned off on a bunch of nannies while you go to school and I'm here in New York more than happy to be taking care of her. Go to Yale this fall if you have to, but you won't take the baby with you."

"I'm her _mother_" Blair said. "She needs me."

"She needs you to stay put."

"Wow, that is such a passionate plea for gender equality" Blair said. "I had a baby so now I can't go to college; I must remain in the house?"

"Go to college all you want, but maybe not when your child is still a baby. If you have to go this year then you're going to have to settle for being a part-time mom. Grace can be with me on weeks and _you_ can come visit Friday through Sunday."

"Chuck she's lived with me all her life, we can't just change that."

"If that's how you feel then you'll stay right here."

"You are such a… such a…"

"Such a very bad noun, I'm sure" Chuck said. "Nevertheless the baby is no more yours than mine and if you want to go then that's your choice but the baby stays."

"Or you could just relocate to Connecticut."

"Chuck Bass spending four years in New Haven? I don't think so. What would I do in New Haven?"

"I wasn't aware you did much here in New York" Blair said icily.

"Yeah Chuck, what _are_ your plans for next fall?" Serena asked, hoping to steer the conversation away before the argument got any worse.

"I haven't decided yet" Chuck said. "But it does involve business, something I start up on my own accord, without my father's name backing me. I'll incorporate it with Bass Industries later on of course but some part of the baby's future legacy should be something her father created on his own."

"Oh, that sounds like quite the endeavor" Blair said. "Wonderful. Except one thing. How do _you_ expect to have enough time for Grace? You've never even had her for more than two nights in a row."

"That is about to change soon and you know it" Chuck said. "Custodial agreement says I will get to have her more often and I _will_ make sure that I get my rightful time with her. I miss out on too much."

"Oh boo freaking hoo" Blair scoffed. "Let's go back and remember who bore the baby, shall we? After carrying her for nine months, giving birth to her and her needing my body to live for quite a while I'd say I'm entitled to spending more time with her."

"Really? If you ask me, you've spent enough time with her. Only fair that I should get more now."

"What's best for _Grace_ is to continue living with me like she's used to."

"You guys, this discussion can wait" Serena said.

"No it can't" Chuck said. "And it's not a discussion. You can't take my daughter to another state and if you try I will use all the lawyers in New York and all the Bass billions to make sure you don't succeed."

"I cannot believe you would do this to me" Blair said. "Yale is all I've ever wanted and now in spite of giving birth to your baby I get to actually go. Don't you realize what this means to me? What it would do to me to give up my spot?"

"I never said you should give it up, I said you should defer for a year."

"And twelve months from now you'll no longer object to Gracie moving to Connecticut with me?"

"She's not moving, not now, not ever" Chuck said firmly. "But next year she will be two years old and better able to be without you."

"Okay, there is no '_without me_'" Blair said. "Where I go the baby goes."

"Then you don't go to Yale."

Blair met his eyes in a staring match. The battle of wills went on for over a minute before she broke it.

"You ruin everything" she said. Then she got up. "If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have become the pariah of my high school, I wouldn't have lost my boyfriend and I would have been able to go to Yale."

"If that's the way you feel then you won't mind me keeping the baby full-time" Chuck said. "If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be saddled with her to begin with."

Blair stormed off to Serena's room without replying. Serena rubbed the back of her neck and looked down at her champagne, feeling highly uncomfortable. And this was supposed to be a celebration.

"You're not going anywhere" Chuck said to Grace, who had now dropped the green block in favor of a round red one.

"Surely you guys can find some middle ground here" Serena attempted.

"I'm not against Blair going to college" Chuck clarified. "I'm real proud of her for managing to get in to Yale with the baby and everything. But tell me sis, why should I let her move my daughter to a different state when she's only going to leave her with a bunch of nannies and focus on school?"

"Can't you move to New Haven just for a few years?" Serena asked. "You've got a chopper, the Internet exists, you can be in New York at a moment's notice if you need be and you can do most of your business online. You can both be with the baby and Blair can have her dream come true. Why not, Chuck?"

"Why does she have first dibs on Grace?" Chuck replied. "Because she's the woman? Why does the baby automatically need to go wherever she goes? I didn't even _have_ a mother when I was Grace's age so don't try and tell me a child can't do without one. Blair is the one who wants to make this change and move away, and believe me S I understand her reasons why and I _am_ happy for her that she got into Yale. I just don't think it's fair that I should have to give up my daughter because of it."

"Nobody is asking you to give her up" Serena argued.

"That's _exactly_ what Blair is asking of me."

"Chuck you know she's ecstatic that you are finally bonding with Grace" Serena pointed out. "She has always been an advocate for you spending time with her. You have her one to two nights a week as it is, what does it matter really if she spends the other five to six in New York or in New Haven?"

"Believe me, it matters" Chuck said. "Blair worked her ass off all her life to get into Yale and now she's obtained that goal. She can defer for a year and focus one hundred percent on Grace before diving into her studies. That is a lot more reasonable than taking my baby away from me for five days out of every week."

"Chuck you can't just ask her to put her life on hold indefinitely" Serena said.

"Nor can she ask me to put my life on hold for four years to live in New Haven. And I haven't said she should put Yale off indefinitely, I said she should defer for a year."

"Come on, you're not going to feel any differently in twelve months; you're still going to want the baby to stay in New York. And you know as well as I do that Blair won't go to Yale without Grace."

"Look I'm sorry I got her knocked up and broke all her shiny plans for the future but I'm not backing down on this. What if she moves to New Haven with the baby and Grace and I end up drifting apart? That's a hell of a price for me to have to pay so that Blair can get to go to Yale. It's just a stupid school anyway."

"Not to Blair and you know it. Maybe you should try having a reasonable conversation with her about this and hear her out. You might be able to work out some form of compromise that will make both of you happy."

"There is no compromise. Either Blair goes to Yale and leaves the baby here or she doesn't go to Yale at all."

"Chuck."

With an annoyed sigh Chuck got up.

"Here, look after Grace for a moment, would you?" he said handing the baby over to Serena. "And she can't have champagne."

Serena rolled her eyes at the comment before turning her attention to her niece who was much more pleasant company than her parents at present. Chuck strode over to Serena's room and walked inside. He slammed the door shut behind him and Blair spun around, tears of anger burning in her eyes.

"What?" she asked in a snarl. "Have you come to crush the next dream on my list? That seems to be all you're capable of doing."

"What's so damn special about Yale anyway?" he snorted back. "Maybe you should realize that when you have babies your own needs and desires get put on hold and somebody else becomes more important. When you decided to keep Grace you also took on the responsibility of raising her the best way possible even if it inconveniences you."

"The best possible way? I'm thinking years into the future and as usual you're not. The day will come when she starts school Chuck. She's going to need a strong female role model in her life and her mother skipping college to stay home and bake cookies is not what I have in mind for that description."

"For what feels like the hundredth time, I'm not telling you to say no to Yale" Chuck said with frustration. "I'm saying you need to wait until she's older."

"No I am done being the only one who makes sacrifices for her" Blair snapped. "I have given up a lot for her without complaint but Yale is my dream."

"Yale will still be there next year."

"Do I have your word then that if I defer for a year you won't fight me when I move to New Haven with Grace next year?"

"I remain adamant that you won't take her there" Chuck said.

"I _will_" Blair snarled. "Why can't you just move there with us if you're so damn concerned about not getting to spend enough time with her?"

"Because my life and the company I'm going to be devoting my time to is here" Chuck replied sharply. "At the end of the day Yale is not the only place on the continent where you could get an education."

"Oh go to hell Bass, I thought you understood what that school means to me but it's obvious that you don't. I don't care what you say, Grace and I will be moving there in the fall."

"You can't win this round" Chuck said, slowly shaking his head. "The terms of our custody arrangement clearly states that you can't move her from the state of New York without my consent."

"So that's it then? My lifelong dream is just over?"

"I suppose it is. Unless you are prepared to go to school in one state and have your daughter living in another."

"Don't think for a second that the last word has been said about this" Blair hissed. "I'm going to Yale and nothing is going to stop me. And I am _not_ letting my baby live in a different state than me. You might have lawyers on your side but that's not going to help you here. Maybe I'll have a good cry to the media about how the new face of Bass Industries doesn't want the mother of his child to get a good education."

Chuck scoffed.

"That will get you precisely nowhere. How are you planning on portraying me as being against women having educations and careers when my goal is to let Grace run Bass Industries when she's grown?"

"I'll find a way" Blair said, cocking her neck. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm taking my child and I'm going home. You've managed to ruin Yale Day for me but you're not going to get to ruin another minute of it by being existing in the same room as me. Send someone over later with her bag."

She strode past him and walked back out to Serena and the baby. Serena looked up expectantly but it wasn't difficult to figure out how the conversation between Blair and Chuck had gone.

"I take it neither one of you is backing down" she sighed.

"The Bass is a bastard" Blair said. "Hand me my baby. We're going home."

"He'll come around B…" Serena said, handing Grace over to her mother.

"He'll never come around B" Chuck said, walking up to them. "Bye Grace. Enjoy your evening with your delusional mother."

"Beats spending it with a misogynistic father" Blair shot back and strode towards the elevators. "Goodbye."

Serena slumped back as Blair left. She looked up at Chuck and reached for her champagne flute.

"I want to sincerely thank you for making this day so very special" she said dryly.

"I need something stronger than champagne" Chuck muttered and headed for the bar.

Serena made a face and downed her glass. She dreaded the battle that would no doubt be going on for the nearest few weeks. Neither Blair nor Chuck were likely to back down in a situation like this. Ultimately Chuck had the better hand since he had the terms of the custody arrangement to lean on but that didn't mean Blair wouldn't try every trick in the book to get things her way.

* * *

"Oh, there you are!" Eleanor said when Blair walked inside her mother's penthouse. "I've been wondering when you would get back home. How's my granddaughter?"

"Her father is a jerk but other than that she's fine" Blair sulked.

"I see you and Charles are enjoying another one of your disagreements" Eleanor said dryly, taking the baby from Blair. "Hi darling. Did you miss Grandma'?"

"Immensely" Blair said, making a face.

"Did you get the college letters?" Eleanor asked.

"I got in to Yale" Blair announced. "And it should be one of the happiest days of my life but it's not!"

"Why not?" Eleanor wondered. "Ever since you were three years old you've talked as if no other schools existed but Yale."

"I know" Blair said. "I thought I had lost my chances of getting in when I got pregnant but they wanted me anyway! Little did I know the Bass the Buzzkill would rear his ugly head and ruin everything."

"I'm not sure I follow" Eleanor said.

"He won't let me move Grace to New Haven."

"Well honey, what did you expect? Now that he's finally started warming up to her he's not going to let you move her to another state."

"Why not?" Blair whined. "Every other dad we know seems to be perfectly fine with living in a different state than his kid."

"Well I for one side with Charles in this matter" Eleanor said, rubbing her nose against Grace's.

Blair glared at her.

"Say what Mother?"

"She's so little" Eleanor said, kissing Grace on the cheek. "The thought of my very young granddaughter being moved to another state doesn't exactly _thrill_ me. You can go to a school here in New York and the little angel can stay close to Grandma'."

"You jet off to Paris every other week" Blair protested. "What do you care if I live in New York with her or in New Haven or in New Delhi?"

"Well at least try to understand Charles' position" Eleanor said. "Being her secondary care giver while you're all still in the same city is one thing but not being able to stop by and see her every day of the week would be something else entirely."

Blair slumped on the divan and felt about ready to cry. She had expected her mother to take her side but clearly Eleanor was Team Chuck.

"Why don't you get out of here for a while?" Eleanor suggested. "It's Friday night. Go out, have a drink, take your mind off things. I'll give the little princess a bath."

She walked off with the baby and Blair sighed again. Then she rose to follow her mother's advice and go out for a drink. She really felt like she needed it right now.

* * *

She went to one of her old favorite places but couldn't muster up any bit of merriment. She sat by the bar with a sad look on her face, slowly stirring her drink with a bright red plastic sword from which she had bitten off an olive. She was at a loss with what to do. She wanted Yale and couldn't imagine her future without going to that school. But leaving Grace in New York in order to attend the school of her dreams was not an option. Five whole days a week without the baby was unimaginable. She knew that was Chuck's reality but on the other hand he had only just recently developed a real interest in his child and Blair had been there every step of the way from Grace's conception. From the day Grace was born Blair had never been apart from her for more than twenty hours and even that felt like an ocean of time. She knew it would be hard going to college and taking care of a one year-old at the same time but she didn't care. She would do anything to have both Yale and Grace. That was the only future imaginable and the idea of that vision not coming true terrified her.

"Blair?"

She looked up, surprised to see Nate standing there.

"What are you doing here all alone?" he asked with a friendly look on his face. "This sad look on your face doesn't fit you." She said nothing and he nodded after a few seconds. "You didn't get the answer you wanted from Yale?"

"Actually…" Blair sighed. "I did."

"Then why the sad face?" he asked. "Mind if I sit down?"

"Be my guest…"

He sat down next to her and ordered a drink. She looked at the plastic sword in her own and wondered how she really felt about him being there. She had thought she wanted to be alone but it actually felt kind of good to see him again.

"I got in to Columbia" he told her.

"Congratulations." Then she frowned. "I thought you wanted USC."

"Changed my mind. With everything that's been going on with my family lately I think it's better if I stay close to home."

She nodded miserably and swallowed to keep the tears at bay. She wasn't really sure why she was about ready to cry all of a sudden. Maybe it was his presence reminding her of another big part of her plans for the future that hadn't come true.

"Everything is just so messed up" she said, wiping away a tear which was making its way down her cheek.

"Here" Nate said, handing her a hankie.

"Thanks."

She wiped away her tears and laughed a little, feeling silly. Nate sat silently next to her and watched her with a warm smile, the likes of which she had not been on the receiving end of for quite some time. He put his hand on her shoulder and she enjoyed the way it felt. Familiar and comforting.

"I'm sorry to be such a baby" she said.

"That's okay."

"So much has happened, you know? I'm so far from where I thought I would be at this point. I would laugh if it wasn't so depressing."

"It's not depressing" Nate said.

"But it is. Yale is within my reach yet beyond my grasp. I have a seven month-old. Whose father I have a highly undefined relationship with. I don't know if Chuck and I are friends or if we're just parents together or what we are. And he won't let me take Grace to New Haven which means I can't go to the college of my dreams."

"Things will look up" Nate said warmly. "You're Blair Waldorf. You will find a way to attend Yale. And while having a baby at this age was not part of your plan you've got to admit that as far as derailments go she's pretty astounding."

"Yeah" Blair nodded. "I love her. She's great."

"See? It's not so bad after all."

Blair looked down and twirled the hankie in her hands. She felt so low, so oddly depressed. And she didn't know how to find the words to explain to anyone, to explain to Nate, what was really going on with her.

"It's just… I thought things would turn out differently, you know?"

"Yeah" Nate nodded. "I think we've all been surprised at the curveballs life has thrown at us these past couple of years. Just look at everything that's changed in my life since we started high school. And yours has changed in even greater ways."

"I love my baby so much" Blair said with a sob. "But I just can't help but wish I had had her later in life, you know? I hate myself for thinking things like that, and I know it makes me a horrible mother, but I look at all the other girls in my class and I see the kind of things they get to do and I envy them. They are free to move wherever they want this fall to attend the colleges they want. Life is so easy for them."

"It doesn't make you a horrible mother" Nate said. "Hey I've been thanking my lucky stars Grace isn't _my_ daughter. How horrible does _that_ make _me_? I think she's a wonderful kid but I'm too young to be a father. I don't know how you do it, and I really don't know how Chuck does it. But he seems to be doing an okay job."

"He's great with her" Blair said.

"I don't believe even for a second that you wish she would have never been born" Nate said. "I think you wish the exact same child had been born maybe five or six years later."

"Something like that" Blair nodded, attempting to wipe away her tears.

"You know, she's lucky to have you as her mother."

"Maybe" Blair said faintly. "But I wish I didn't have to be a mother. At least some of the time I wish that. It's like you said, I wouldn't want Grace to have never been born but it would have been nice if she could have come along a few years later when I would be done with college and more ready in general. Even if biology doesn't work that way. But I think she would have been better off in those circumstances too."

"At least this way you won't have to sleep with Chuck again in a few years in order to conceive her" Nate joked.

Blair laughed a little, wondering if Nate knew that she wouldn't really mind having to do just that.

"It will all work out" Nate assured her.

"You're a good friend Nate" Blair said. "I had almost forgotten how comforting you could be sometimes."

"I have my moments."

"I wish I could say I was really sorry for everything that happened last year but…" She smiled crookedly. "I just can't bring myself to say it. Grace didn't come five years down the line she came seven months ago. And I know Yale is worth nothing compared to her and that I should sacrifice it to stay in New York with her but you can't reason like that. You can't just say that nothing else in the world really matters and all that's important is your child. Imagine the kind of pressure that would put on her! Imagine your mother giving up everything she wanted for you, every school, every job, every man… Who could possibly live up to something like that? Even if I felt it was worth it Grace would always have to live with the knowledge that I made all those sacrifices for her and it wouldn't make her feel special or loved it would just make her feel like she could never be enough to make up for those sacrifices. I mean, I _will_ sacrifice almost anything for her but I can't just give up on things without a fight. Besides, I want to set a good example for her. I want her to look up to me and think of her mother as someone who goes after what she wants and who made something of herself."

"I don't believe you will have to give up Yale" Nate said. "You just need to find a way to convince Chuck that it is what's best for the baby."

"You know him pretty well" Blair said, the hint of a smile on her face. "Or at least you used to. Any bright ideas?"

"Fresh out."

He gave her another warm smile and took off his coat, hanging it over her shoulders. She smiled slightly, inhaling the familiar scent of his preferred cologne. How many times had she not worn his coat over her shoulders like this? How certain had she not been that she would wear it when she was in her sixties too?

"Do you remember how we used to talk about our future?" she asked. "How perfect everything would be…" Tears began to fall down her cheeks. "I don't know what to do when everything I planned for gets pulled away from me."

"Do you remember when you used to make us watch your favorite movies over and over again? It used to drive me nuts. I finally asked you why you liked watching movies you had already seen. And you said you like knowing how things are going to turn out. And I argued there's a lot more excitement to not knowing how things are going to end."

"I remember" Blair nodded.

"I still stand by that statement" he smiled. "Think about it. What's the best thing that has ever happened in your life?"

"Grace" Blair said with a smile.

"She was never part of your plan. Maybe your movie isn't supposed to be planned out ahead. Maybe the best things can come as a surprise."

"Like love?" Blair asked, thinking about the way she felt about Chuck and how far that was from all the plans she had made.

"Or college. Or… anything really. I think all you need to know about your future is that you're Blair Waldorf and you're going to do great no matter what life throws at you."

"Wow…" Blair smiled. "What happened to the Nate who just wanted to get high and play '_Halo_'?"

He laughed.

"I guess I've begun to grow up."

"Thank you Nate" Blair said with a warm smile. "I actually do feel better."

"You're welcome."

* * *

Dorota came down the stairs when Chuck walked off the elevator. It was late but the time didn't concern him much. He had to drop off Grace's bag anyway and he wanted to talk to Blair. Serena had given him a talk about how he needed to show he respected Blair's dreams of Yale if he wanted her to come around and find some middle-ground on the Grace issue. So he had come to do exactly that and it didn't concern him that it was late.

"Mister Chuck…" Dorota said. "Baby is asleep. Is late."

"I'm not here for her. I'm here for Blair."

"Miss Blair also asleep." She took the bag from him. "I told doorman no visitors."

"I just need a moment of her time. We came off on the wrong foot earlier and I… I need to talk to her about it."

"Miss Blair asleep" Dorota repeated. "I'm sorry."

Chuck knew there was no point in pressing the issue but he was disappointed. He didn't want to be fighting with Blair, especially not in matters concerning their child. But Dorota was right, it would have to wait.

"Could you tell her that I stopped by with Grace's bag and that I have something I need to tell her?"

"I will. In morning."

She turned and walked up the stairs. Chuck watched her go, tempted to go after her and check up on Grace before he left but if Blair was sleeping that wasn't such a good idea. The nursery wasn't done yet and Grace still slept in Blair's room. With a dejected sigh he walked towards the elevator.

* * *

"There we go Gracie" Blair said, putting the baby down in the crib. "Sorry about that" she then said to Nate. "She usually stays asleep at this hour but when they need a diaper change they need a diaper change."

"That's alright" Nate smiled.

"Thank you for making sure I got home okay."

"You're welcome. I just… want to make sure you're fine. Which you are, so… I should go."

He walked past her to the door and without knowing why she reached out her hand and took his. She didn't want him to leave. All her other dreams for the future had gone to hell but tonight with him she had felt a little like she still had him. He had acted the way she had wanted him to act in the last year of their relationship when he had mostly just been pulling away.

"Wait…" she said. "Stay."

He looked at her, slightly surprised but not at all unwilling. The next thing she knew he had stepped closer and pulled her in to an embrace. It felt so good to be held by him. It wasn't exciting and electrifying like it was with Chuck but it was incredibly comforting. She glanced over at the post-its on her desktop cover. One of the notes still said: '_Make it work with N again. Romantic or platonic._' She had really missed Nate in her life. She held him closer and hoped he had actually missed her too.

* * *

I know I said I wouldn't use show material again for a while but I couldn't resist it here =) I'll try to do better next chapter, I promise.

Now I'm interested in hearing who sided with Blair and who sided with Chuck. Write me a review and let me know!


	41. Chapter 41

The feedback for the last chapter was certainly interesting. Thank you all for sharing your opinions. I can't tell you much about where the Yale storyline will go and who will end up "winning" since I haven't decided on that yet. There were some interesting ideas in your reviews. Since I'm not from the US myself and therefore know next to nothing about the school system some of your reviews were really helpful and informative. So thanks! =)

* * *

"Hey" Blair said softly as Nate walked inside her room. "I'm glad you stopped by."

"Yeah you know, I figured after the talk we had last night, and with everything else going on…" He shrugged a shoulder. "I figured you might use a friend."

Blair smiled softly, giving the baby a kiss on the cheek. She had just dressed her for the day and had been busy telling her all about Yale for the millionth time when Dorota had announced she had a visitor.

"So how are you feeling?" Nate asked with a warm smile. "Things any better after a good night's sleep?"

"Unfortunately I had no such thing" Blair said with a little laugh. "Princess here woke up three times during the night."

"Must be difficult."

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve" Blair smirked. "Before I left Chuck's place last night I stole his scarf."

"His scarf?"

"Grace loves the thing. It calms her down."

"Funny, it tends to have the same effect on Chuck. Like father like daughter I suppose."

Blair smiled and glanced at the crib where the balled up scarf was still lying. She had forgotten she had taken it last night until the third time Grace started to fuss during the night. The scarf had become like a security blanket to the baby and Blair was more than happy to let her drool all over it and maltreat it to her heart's content. Served the original owner right.

"So…" Nate said, walking closer. "Any great plans for today?"

"No not much" Blair said.

When Nate stepped closer Grace turned her head away and nuzzled closer to Blair. Nate stopped and Blair laughed a little.

"Aw" she said. "She's a little shy."

"I'm sorry little girl" Nate said. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"She's been getting a bit shy of strangers lately" Blair said. "Don't worry about it."

"Maybe I should sit at a reasonable distance then" Nate said, taking a seat by her writing desk.

"How about you, do _you_ have any plans for today?" Blair asked.

"No, not a one."

"If you'd like you could stay here for a while" Blair offered. "You know, you've never really spent any time with Grace. Even though she didn't turn out to be yours it would be nice if you at least knew her."

"Okay" Nate smiled. "What about Chuck? Is he going to come by?"

"No, we're not exactly pals right now" Blair sighed. "Either way, he had the baby for two nights in a row. He should be satisfied with that at least until tomorrow."

Nate got up and walked closer. Grace again appeared to be shy of him but this time he didn't stop until he was standing right in front of the mother and child.

"She's gotten big" he said. "I mean, not in a way women might take offense to. It's just when I saw her at Bart's wake she seemed so much smaller."

"She weighs roughly twice what she did when she was born" Blair said. "And be careful of anything you don't want her to put in her mouth. She began teething a while ago and she'll bite on anything. Except her biting ring for some reason."

"Her eyes aren't blue anymore" Nate noted, studying Grace closely before she turned her head away again.

"I know" Blair said. "I think she'll end up with my eye color. She has the shape of my eyes… I'm still not sure whose mouth that is though."

"Can I hold her?"

Blair looked surprised.

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah, I mean, if it's okay. If she's too shy of me then…"

"No…" Blair said. "No, actually it would be great if you could hold her for a second. Dorota said she had something to tell me earlier but I haven't had time to speak with her yet."

"Whoa, wait" Nate said. "I'm okay holding her with you in the room but… I don't think I'm ready to baby-sit."

"It's just for five minutes" Blair said. "Here, take her… carefully…"

"Blair seriously, I don't know what I'm doing here!"

Blair just smiled and made sure he held Grace properly. She took a step back with Grace's eyes on her and a little baby hand reaching out to her.

"Aw, Gracie" Blair said. "You stay here with Nate for a few minutes and I'll go see what was so important. Can I have Dorota bring you anything to eat or drink Nate?"

"Uh, no, I think I'm fine thanks" Nate said, looking not entirely comfortable.

"I'll be back before you know it."

She walked to the door but had only taken one step outside before Grace started to cry. Blair stopped, turned and walked back into the room where Nate was looking rather freaked.

"Oh, no, it's okay" he tried to soothe the baby. "Blair's coming back."

Blair walked over and held out her hands.

"Looks like she won't be content staying with you after all" she said. "Don't take it personally. She does the same whenever I leave her at Chuck's. It does _not_ make it easier to go, I can tell you that." She took the baby back and Grace stopped crying. "There, there… I guess you'll have to come with me then. Do you mind waiting Nate?"

"No, not at all."

"I'll be right back."

She walked out of the room with Grace and hurried down the stairs. Dorota was waiting at the bottom of the steps looking impatient.

"Miss Blair I have been meaning to speak with you all morning."

"Yes I know" Blair said. "Nate is here and I don't want to keep him waiting. Just tell me what it is."

"Mister Nate here late last night too" Dorota noted.

"How very perceptive of you" Blair said dryly. "You've been waiting all morning to tell me I was with Nate last night?"

"Mister Chuck stop by with bag."

"Good. He didn't ask for his scarf, did he?"

"No. But I make promise that I would tell you he stopped by and has important thing to tell you."

Blair felt a smile spread across her face. There was only one thing she could think of that he would have to tell her that would be important.

"Do you think he's changed his mind about Yale?" she asked Dorota.

"You have to ask Mister Chuck. Give him call."

"I will. Right away."

"Do you want me to bring something for you and Mister Nate?" Dorota asked.

"What?" Blair asked and turned around, already halfway up the stairs again.

"Will you be wanting food or drink?"

Blair had momentarily forgotten Nate was even there. She shrugged and nodded before walking back up the stairs. She didn't have her cellphone on her but there was a landline in her mother's bedroom so she walked in there and took a seat on the bed, placing Grace next to her. She grabbed the phone and tried to remember Chuck's number. She was so used to speed-dial she had practically forgotten what anyone's number actually was.

He answered after four rings.

"A call from the Waldorf landline" he remarked. "Don't tell me Grace slobbered all over your cell and now it's unusable."

"Dorota said you stopped by yesterday" Blair said, smiling down at the baby who had rolled over on her back.

"I thought I might come over today and we could discuss this whole Yale thing further" Chuck said.

"When we spoke yesterday it seemed we were at an impasse" Blair said. "Have you… changed your mind?"

"No" Chuck said, wiping the smile off Blair's face. "But we need to have a real discussion about it. The sooner the better. There's got to be some form of compromise we can agree on."

Filled with anger and disappointment Blair wished he had been there in person so she could have growled at his face. Then she changed her mind. She really did not want to see him right now. If he hadn't been wanting to talk to her to tell her he supported her decision to go to Yale then what did he want?

"You said you had something important to tell me" she said coldly. "What was it?"

"Discussing our daughter's whereabouts for the fall doesn't qualify as important to you?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"Well I can't today" she said stubbornly. "I have plans all day long. We'll have to talk some other day."

"I didn't know you had plans. I had assumed I would stop by and spend time with the little one."

"I have a life too you know" Blair said, feeling offended. "I don't just sit around the house waiting for you to come around. You had Grace all day yesterday. Today _I_ want to do something with her, by myself."

"Alright, fine" Chuck said. "I'll be by tomorrow then."

"You can come to your senses and then come by" Blair said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go."

She hung up before he could say anything else and made an angry face. She looked down at the baby who looked back at her with slight confusion. She got up, lifted Grace up into her arms and walked back to her bedroom where Nate was patiently waiting while chewing on a cookie from a plate Dorota had brought while Blair was on the phone.

"Chuck is such an _ass_" she complained.

"Chuck?" Nate echoed. "Did I miss something?"

"I just spoke with him on the phone and he refuses to give in" she said and took a seat next to Nate on the bed. "This is my future we're talking about."

"It's been less than twenty-four hours" Nate said softly. "Give him some time to let it sink in first."

"I don't see why he should need time. He's known since kindergarten that I plan on going to Yale. He came with me to campus this fall to let me interview with the dean!"

"He's had a lot going on this year" Nate said. "Would it be so strange if the thought of college slipped his mind?"

"Since when are you back on his side?" Blair asked with a frown.

"I'm not" Nate said. "Actually I'm fairly convinced that come autumn you will be enrolled at Yale and Grace here will be living in New Haven."

"Let's hope so" Blair pouted.

"So tell me" Nate said. "What does Blair Waldorf do on her days off now that she's in the company of a little baby?"

"Usually Grace and I go shopping or go for a walk in the park" Blair said.

"You go shopping with a baby?"

"Of course! She's got to learn at a young age." She ran her hand through Grace's unruly curls and smiled. "Other things we like to do is just hang out at home and play. It's so much fun to watch her development. You wouldn't believe how proud you are as a parent the first time your little darling lifts her head up when you've placed her on her back."

Nate chuckled.

"Who would have ever expected you to enjoy the simpler things in life?"

"You might need to remind me of this time when she's eight and driving me nuts" Blair said dryly. "Anyway, enough about me, I feel like I have no idea what's going on with you anymore. How is everything?"

"Chaotic" Nate sighed. "After everything with my father…"

"I'm really sorry about all of that."

"Thanks. It's starting to calm down now, but then on top of that Grandfather wants me to take this internship and I just…" He sighed. "Sometimes I wish high school would continue for a few more years, you know?"

"I don't know" Blair said, shaking her head. "I want it to be September and I want to be at New Haven. Hey do you want to join Grace and I for a walk in the park? We haven't fed the ducks in a while."

"You still go to your favorite spot?"

"Yes but it is now _our_ favorite spot" she said, smiling down at the baby. "But since Grace started eating actual food you have to stop her from grabbing bread and putting it her in her mouth. Something about such a small child eating bread scares me. What if it gets caught in her throat?"

"If ducks can handle it I'm sure babies her age can too."

"I don't like to take chances" Blair said. "Would you mind holding her for just a second? I need to find something warmer for her upper body if we're going out."

She handed Grace to Nate and got up. She could hear Grace protesting when she walked over to the dresser but once Grace saw that she was not leaving the room she quieted. Blair looked over her shoulder, deciding that Nate was just nervous and that was the reason why he was looking really unsure of what to do. It's not like Chuck had been any better at first either, or Blair herself probably. She found something suiting for the baby to wear and walked back over.

"Alright let's get you dressed little princess" she said. "It might be cold out so we want to keep you nice and warm. You want to go feed the ducks Grace?"

She kneeled by the bed and asked Nate to help hold the baby while she put a sweater on her. Grace leaned forward, trying to get to Blair, and as soon as she had the sweater on Blair rose to her feet taking Grace into her arms.

"There we go" she said. "Baby you're getting heavy. Not long now before Mommy can't hold you by herself."

"And thus an eating disorder is born" Nate said jokingly and rose.

"Not with this one" Blair said. "Grace will eat anything and she'll eat as much of it as possible. Chuck says she's like a Hobbit."

Nate chuckled.

"Figures he would go for that simile. Remember how he read '_Lord of the Rings_' when we were eight and he talked of nothing else for ages? Then the movie came out and he thought it had become uncool."

Blair smiled slightly.

"Yeah I remember."

"So… What do we need to take her out? Diapers? Stuffed animals?"

"She has a Going Out bag" Blair said. "It matches the stroller _and_ it goes with my coat."

"Okay then."

"All we really need to do is get the bag and get her something for her head" Blair said. "I got her a gorgeous dove blue beret just last week. Keeps that hair of hers at least somewhat in order. I don't understand how it can be so curly."

"Neither do I, though Chuck's Hobbit comparison makes more sense by the minute."

They walked downstairs and got everything ready. Soon thereafter they were walking through the park, Grace making all kinds of noises in her pram. Blair felt in a much better mood than when she woke up and was glad to be out with Nate. His company had a soothing impact on her and felt like a connection to the life she had led a year and a half ago.

"I have a question" she said after a few minutes.

"Shoot."

"I thought you were dating that… Brooklyn girl with the horrible hair and the intense passion for print. Why are you not out with her today?"

"That relationship… is kind of on the rocks" Nate said. "I just don't think we're right for each other."

"I could have told you that" Blair snorted. "Upper East Side princes do not marry milk maidens from Brooklyn."

"It's not like that" Nate tried to argue.

"Well whatever it is… You're here in the park with your ex-girlfriend and her infant daughter on a Saturday rather than being anywhere else with the person you're seeing. Quite telling, is it not?"

"Maybe. Have you got a point?"

"No. Besides what I've already said."

"We used to spend a lot of Saturdays in the park…" Nate mused. "Remember that? You and Serena used to lie around on blankets and talk about God knows what while I played some sport or other with the guys. And Chuck would just as often be gossiping with the two of you as he'd be playing soccer."

Blair glanced at him through the corner of her eye and wondered why he kept mentioning Chuck's name. Was it a subtle way of reminding her that he didn't want to be more than her friend anymore because Blair had sex, and then a baby, with Chuck? Was it some form of maneuver to constantly bring him up and figure out if Chuck was more than just a co-parent to Blair? Perhaps Nate just missed his old best friend. The two of them had been practically inseparable from early childhood until a year ago. Blair had very vivid memories of how much she had missed Serena when she was in Connecticut. No matter what Nate felt about Chuck right now he had to miss their friendship. It occurred to her that Chuck must really miss his friendship with Nate too. It was something they had never discussed. But Chuck was very lonely nowadays and to have gone from always having a best friend by your side to being by yourself had to be very difficult.

"I miss the old days" she said. "Life was so much easier then. I miss how much fun we used to have together, you and me and Chuck and S."

"Things change" Nate said with a light shrug to his shoulder.

"Not always for the better."

"Who stays friends with their childhood besties all their lives anyway?" Nate asked. "It's probably just natural that we go our separate ways as we grow older."

"I honestly never thought the four of us would" Blair sighed. "I thought you and I would get married and when we had kids Serena and Chuck would be their godparents."

"Hey speaking of, did you christen your little Hobbit yet?" Nate asked.

"No" Blair said. "And for the record I don't like her referred to as a Hobbit. Hobbits are short and hairy and they like dirt. And they walk around _barefoot_."

"When is her christening?" Nate asked, chuckling at her annoyance.

"We haven't made any arrangements. I know it's tradition and all that but it's really low on my list of priorities at the moment. Plus we already named her months ago, I mean what's the point of christening her now?"

"I'm surprised" Nate said. "Given how traditional you are I expected an invitation to the christening before your birthday. When I didn't get one I just assumed you had had one and didn't invite me."

"I'm pretty sure media would have noticed if we christened her" Blair pointed out dryly. "Chuck can't go outside with her without being photographed."

Grace made a loud noise and Blair stopped to lean over and adjust the beret on her head. She smiled at the little girl and her mind drifted back to her problems regarding fall. There was no way she could go to New Haven and not bring Grace. It was difficult enough when the baby was with Chuck. Sometimes it was relieving to get time to herself but for the most part it bordered on physically painful to be away from her infant. She knew Chuck grew more attached to Grace every day but she didn't believe his attachment to her was as strong as Blair's own. Blair had carried her for nine months, given birth to her and been the person who had taken care of her on a day-to-day basis. And she believed Grace needed her more than she needed Chuck, even if she really ought to have them both in her life as much as possible. She never cried when she went from Chuck's care to Blair's but whenever Blair left her with Chuck the baby would be crying at first. It made Blair feel guilty. The baby was probably far too young to not be spending all her time with one caregiver but on the other hand it was imperative that she had a chance to bond with her father at an early age.

"Penny for your thoughts" Nate said.

Blair realized she had been quiet for a while. She looked up at him and smiled crookedly. She wanted to forget all her worries for just one day. Was that too much to ask?

"Come on" she said to Nate. "We're almost at my favorite spot. Let's feed the ducks and then go home and watch a movie."

Nate smiled warmly and nodded. Blair returned the smile. She found herself hoping he would come hang out with her more often. Restoring their friendship went a long way to making her feel better about everything that wasn't going her way.

* * *

That's all for today. More Chuck next chapter, I promise =) Thank you for reading and please review!


	42. Chapter 42

Time for a new update. This one is a bit… heavier than the last one. Hope you'll enjoy it.

Regarding reviews – for some reason I haven't been able to reply to reviews for over a week. I've replied to a few through PM but I keep waiting to see if the problem will be fixed. Is anyone else having the same problem?

In a moment of I guess self-indulgence I want to express how happy I am with all the positive feedback I've been getting on Grace! I don't think I've ever tried writing a baby before and I'm relieved that many of you like her. I hope you still will once she gets older and starts to have more of a personality =)

Enough about me though. Some of you have given me thoughts, suggestions and information that have been very helpful to me in deciding where the Yale storyline will go. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it! I haven't made any definite decisions yet but if I go with one of your suggestions you will definitely be credited for it.

In the meantime I want to give a shout-out to those of you who have taken the time to give me information and suggestions. Thank you **Maribells**, **HarryPotterfanforeverr123**, **CBfanhere**, **lucyybella** and probably someone else I forgot. You seriously rock!

* * *

The door closed behind them and then they were in each other's arms. Blair giggled as Nate removed her headband and tossed it on the floor. It had been four weeks since they had run into each other at the bar and five days since they had become more than friends again. It wasn't the strong intoxication Blair had experienced with another boy in the past year but right now this felt way better. It felt comforting and safe and reliable. With Chuck everything had been a rollercoaster and there had been high highs and low lows. With Nate the highs weren't as high but the lows weren't even almost as low. He was part of the future she had envisioned up until she got pregnant and it actually felt like a smart choice. She willfully ignored his absence during her pregnancy. He was there now, he was reliable and he actually wanted her. She had wanted Chuck to want her but even if he did he hadn't been able to show it to her for more than a few days at a time and she needed something more secure than that.

"We should go outside" Nate said between kisses. "Grace is with Chuck… We have all day to ourselves… It's a beautiful day out…"

"Nate…" Blair said, pulling away a bit and playing with his shirt. "We've talked about this. We need to wait before we go out in public."

"I still don't see why we need to do that. When we first started hanging out again we took Grace to the park. Why can't we go outside together now?"

Blair avoided his eyes. She hadn't said anything to Chuck about this new development between herself and Nate. Partially because it was still so new and she wasn't sure of what it really was and partially because she knew it would hurt him. Normally she wouldn't have minded making him jealous but the situation was different now. For one she wanted to give this rekindling with Nate an honest chance and that would be difficult if Chuck decided to interfere. For another she didn't want to do anything to anger him right now when they hadn't settled things for the fall yet. She knew it would be difficult under the best of circumstances to get him to agree to Grace living in New Haven for four years and if he was hurt and jealous it would be close to impossible. In addition he had lost his father only months ago and it felt like he had enough to deal with without jealousy.

"I'm just not ready for the press" she lied to Nate. "I know they don't care what I do normally but if the mother of Bart Bass' granddaughter started dating someone new less than a year after the birth of the child then…"

"It will be okay" Nate assured her. "We're serious about this. And we used to date before you had the baby. It won't cast any negative light on you, I promise. We can't keep hiding up in here all the time."

He pulled her closer and she knew he had a point. They needed to be able to be together out in the open. But first Chuck had to know.

* * *

Chuck put his newspaper and his coffee cup down and rose from the couch when he heard the elevator ring. To his surprise it was Nate who stepped off. Nate hadn't stopped by to see him in well over a year.

"Archibald…" Chuck said, walking over. "Are you lost?"

"I'm here to pick up Grace" Nate said in a tone that was almost challenging.

Chuck frowned.

"I can only assume you mean you've come for the grace of God, which need I remind you has never been anywhere near this penthouse. Because you couldn't possibly be referring to my daughter."

"Actually I am" Nate said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Over my dead body. And for what possible purpose? What, you want to show her off in class as a biology project?"

"Haven't you heard?" Nate said, partially confused and partially smug. "I'm back together with Blair."

Chuck just stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to do with that piece of information or if he should even believe it to begin with.

"Then make your own child with her" he then said. "You're not going anywhere with mine. Blair and I don't employ middle-hands when Grace goes from one place to the other."

"Blair will be here" Nate said. "She's running a little late probably. She asked me to meet her here."

"Then go wait in the lobby" Chuck sulked. "You can pass the time by learning how to _tell_ time. Blair's picking up Grace at four o'clock and it's barely three-thirty. The baby's still napping."

Nate sighed and shook his head.

"Blair told me three-thirty sharp."

"I'm guessing she didn't. She always picks Grace up at four."

"Yeah, well, clearly she wanted me to be here earlier" Nate said. "I mean, isn't it obvious? She's trying to get us to talk."

"I'm not much of a talker" Chuck said. "You can wait in the lobby or wait on the couch or go wake Serena up from her hangover nap and wait with her. I'm going to my room to pack up the baby's things. Assistance not appreciated."

"Fine by me" Nate said, walking over to the couch.

Chuck snorted and walked back to his room while Nate took a seat. Furiously he thought about calling Blair up and chewing her out for not having bothered to tell him about this new romantic development. Then he thought the better of it. He would not give her the satisfaction of showing a reaction. Indifference was his best strategy in games like these.

Hiding his anger would be difficult however. Nate? Why the hell did she have to start dating _Nate_ again? And how could Nate have forgiven her to the point of wanting to be with her again when he couldn't bring himself to forgive his former best friend? Nate was a jerk and Blair was a bitch and he wanted nothing more than to ignore both their existences for a good long while. Unfortunately the only way to do that would also involve ignoring Grace and that was not on the map.

He carelessly tossed her things into her bag, not bothering to make sure clothes were folded or things properly placed. Blair would probably throw a fit when she opened the bag later and saw the mess. If she whined about it he would just tell her he had to pack in a hurry since her glorified baby delivery boy had arrived early.

Fifteen minutes before he expected Blair to show up he walked over to the crib where Grace, now awake, was doing her best to set a new world record for amount of spit you could cover a teddybear in. He lifted her up and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"I hate the fact that you have to go" he mumbled to her. "I hate even more that _Nathaniel_ will get to spend the evening with you. If Blair wants to go cavorting with him then she can leave you with me while she does it. I don't have girls over when you're here."

Grace made a noise he deemed an agreement and shoved her fist in her mouth.

"Come on dearie, let's get you dressed."

Carefully he removed her pajamas and dressed her up in a pair of black velvet pants and a green blouse. He made an attempt at combing through her hair but it was too unruly after she had been sleeping on it so he decided not to bother. In his opinion she looked quite adorable with her hair sticking out in every direction, like a little troll child, even if he did prefer the more well-groomed look. Blair hated when her hair looked like this but that would be her problem later on. Right now she was still with Chuck and he thought she looked cute.

"What do you think, should we put shoes on?" he asked the baby. "Don't you dare try and start walking this week. Daddy wants front-row seats to that."

Grace grinned and he tickled her stomach, causing her to laugh.

"Since you won't be walking, to hell with shoes" he said. "Socks will do fine. It's not really that cold out."

He continued to talk to the baby while he finished getting her ready. He found a pacifier that matched her blouse and put it in her mouth. He heard a noise from outside and realized it must be Blair arriving to pick her up. He threw the bag over his shoulder and lifted Grace up, wishing he could just lock the door instead and keep the baby while Blair played with her new old toy. It didn't seem quite fair that he should get nothing.

He walked out from his room and saw Blair, saying something to Nate. The sight of the two of them together hurt so much more now than it had at cotillion. She looked up and he saw the slight disappointment in her eyes that Chuck and Nate hadn't been interacting much. Clearly Nate had been right and this had been Blair's attempt of getting the two of them to start working out their issues. She could continue to dream. There was no way in hell he was getting friendly with Nate again, not under these circumstances.

"Hi baby" Blair said to Grace and she smiled slightly. Then she looked at Chuck. "It seems you're less of a host than you used to be."

"Forgive me" he said. "Next time I'll leave Grace alone and undressed in her crib with her things unpacked while I entertain the people you randomly send over."

"There's no need to have an attitude" Nate said.

"Did everything go okay this weekend?" Blair asked, realizing she wouldn't get anywhere on the reconciliation issue at present.

"Things always go well when Grace is here" Chuck replied. "She's got a diaper rash but other than that she's fine."

"I miss her so much when she's away" Blair said, reaching out to take the baby but getting the bag handed to her instead.

"I think she needs bigger bottles" Chuck said. "And larger jars of baby food. She eats more than you do."

"You don't feed her too much, do you?" Blair frowned while Nate leapt to his feet to chivalrously take the bag from her.

Chuck didn't answer. He kissed Grace and hesitated for a second before reluctantly handing her over to Blair.

"Be a good girl now" he said, reaching out to caress her cheek with his finger. "I'll miss you. See you soon."

Blair nodded slightly and then glanced over at Nate.

"So…" she said.

"So" Chuck echoed.

"We should get going."

"Right."

"You'll stop by to see her tomorrow after school?"

He glanced over at Nate and Blair at least had the decency to look a touch ashamed.

"I'll be alone with her tomorrow" she said. "I hope you'll come over. We should talk."

"I'll be there" Chuck said. "See you tomorrow then, little drool princess."

Blair gave him an apologetic look and then walked with Nate to the elevators, talking to Grace in a voice that was perhaps a touch too cheerful. Chuck decided not to stay and watch them leave. He headed over to the kitchen until he heard the elevator leave. Then he walked to the bar and poured himself a large drink. It was always lonely after Grace left but after today's surprising turn of events it was lonelier than ever. This new development had completely blindsided him and he wasn't sure how to respond to it.

He closed his eyes hard, feeling tears burning. Blair and Nate. Nate and Blair. The very idea of Blair dating someone else made him sick to his stomach. He knew he had no right to be jealous but he couldn't exactly control the way he felt. And for the person she dated to be Nate…

He took a deep, shivering breath and opened his eyes. Then he downed his drink in one large gulp and poured himself another one.

* * *

The next day Chuck was in a really foul mood. As usual he tried to ignore Nate, whose locker was right next to Chuck's own so they were rarely able to go through and entire school day without running into one another. Usually Nate did his part to make sure they didn't have to interact but to Chuck's surprise, and great annoyance, he refused to stick with the program today. Starting by saying hi in the morning and then trying to make small talk whenever they were by the lockers at the same time. Chuck pointedly ignored all of this, hoping Nate would get the message. This was clearly not going to happen, and Chuck finally realized he would have to say _something_ when he went to get his calculator during math class and Nate followed.

"Being stalked doesn't really turn me on" Chuck said with a snarl and slammed his locker shut before turning around to glare at his former friend.

"Look man, I think we need to talk" Nate said.

"We should have talked January last year. At this point I'm kind of done caring."

"I'm not exactly looking to be super best buds with you" Nate said. "But you know I'm with Blair again. And whether I like it or not that means I need to get along with you too."

"Oh the sacrifices the noble make for true love" Chuck snorted.

One of the guys from their class came around the corner, having also forgotten something apparently. Realizing the only way to get away from this conversation was to have it as briefly as possible Chuck strode towards the doors, hoping Nate would catch the drift and follow. This was a conversation best held without the entire school as a possible audience.

"You know what?" he said to Nate as they walked through the corridor. "I'm fine with not getting along with you. Just because you're dating Blair again that doesn't mean we have to be anything to each other. I can be civil around you for my child's sake. I see no need to socialize with you beyond when I pick the baby up or drop her off."

"Fine, if those were the only times you and Blair saw each other" Nate said. "But you're over at her place several times a week."

"I'm sorry if that inconveniences you. Find a way to deal. Clearly it hasn't stopped you from dating her without me knowing about it."

They walked through the doors and down the steps, stopping at the base. Chuck crossed his arms over his chest and made a face.

"What is it that you want?" he asked.

"A truce" Nate said. "No more fighting. I want this thing with Blair to work out Chuck. And I don't want to cause problems in her life. It's going to get really complicated if you and I are at each other's throats."

"You make it sound like we're constantly having fist fights in the cafeteria or screaming matches in the hallways" Chuck snorted. "All we're doing is ignoring each other. Like I said, I can be civil when we're forced to interact."

"That's mighty good of you" Nate said dryly. "Though I don't exactly get that vibe from you right now. You were the one who betrayed me yet I'm the one having to chase you down to ask for a truce. You are not the one who was wronged so stop acting like it and maybe I'll believe you can act civil."

"You have a really warped sense of right and wrong" Chuck said angrily. "Fine, I slept with Blair and she got pregnant. But I didn't betray you, not to the extent that you have reacted. I would have understood perfectly if you needed to yell at me and be angry for a while, but to completely cancel our friendship, one that went back to before I can even remember, never struck me as being fair."

"Oh you want to talk to me about what's fair?"

"Yes. I do. If you want to date Blair don't expect me to be cool with it. Maybe you should just, I don't know, _stay away_ when I go to pick up my daughter. There's no need for you and I to interact at all."

"That doesn't make any sense. What's it to you if I date her anyway?"

"Maybe I'm just a little confused as to how she can be forgiven but I can't" Chuck said. "I don't know if your mother ever told you this but it takes _two_ people to have sex and to make a baby. Anything I did she did too."

"She wasn't my best friend."

"You have no leg left to stand on Archibald" Chuck said. "I slept with your ex-girlfriend and now you're sleeping with the mother of my child. Technically that makes her my ex _and_ it also makes her more important in my life than she was in yours when she and I got horizontal in the limo."

"Oh so I'm betraying you?"

"Well you're not pure as the newly fallen snow, now are you?"

"So what if she's someone you have a child with? Lots of people date and marry people who have children by others, your own father included. I don't get what you're getting so worked up over. Me dating her now shouldn't bother you at all and I have every right to be mad at you for sleeping with Blair only hours after she and I broke up."

"You weren't even in love with her" Chuck yelled. "You were all gooey-eyed over Serena. How the hell did I betray you by sleeping with a girl you didn't even want?"

"'I wasn't even in love with her'?" Nate echoed as something dawned on him. "What does that mean? Are… are you in love with her now?"

Chuck looked away and tried to think of a suitable response. He realized he had been silent for too long before he gave his answer but he still had to defend the walls he had put up.

"The point is there was nothing to betray" he said. "Why you got so bent out of shape over me having sex with a girl you didn't love is something I have never understood."

"Chuck" Nate said firmly. "Were _you_ in love with Blair? Are you still?"

"You're deflecting."

"No _you_ are. God, all this… All this time I have…" Nate sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "First of all, I may not have been head over heels for her around the time we broke up, but once we _were_ broken up I realized how much I did care. After cotillion I really wanted her back, and I told you so in Monaco."

"At which point I was no longer doing your ex" Chuck pointed out.

"Yeah and _that_ right there is the problem, and always was."

"The fact that I stopped doing her?"

"The fact that you refer to what happened as you 'doing' her. Like Blair is some woman you just have a meaningless shag with and then forget about. Chuck if I had thought for a second that you were _in love_ with Blair then we wouldn't have had that big of a problem."

"Five seconds ago you said you wanted her back after you broke up, so it seems we had a pretty damn big problem on our hands."

Nate paused for a second.

"So you were in love with her?"

Chuck hesitated.

"What the hell does it even matter?"

"It makes the whole difference. Just because I wasn't madly in love with Blair it didn't mean I ever stopped caring. I will _always_ care about her, she was my first love. You using her for sex like one of your damn floosies is what really pissed me off. That's what ruined out friendship; the baby just served as a constant reminder."

"There's no middle-ground between using someone for sex and being in love with them?" Chuck asked.

"Not with you" Nate argued. "I've always know what kind of person you are. And since you started screwing around I've known how you treat women. But I thought that you would treat Blair better, if not else because I know you cared about me and I cared about her, so you would treat the girl I cared for with respect."

"You were not the only common denominator for Blair and I" Chuck pointed out dryly. "We've always had a connection, a closeness. No Nathaniel, I wasn't in love with her the night I took her virginity in the back of my limo. But I didn't use her for sport either. I cared about her too, always have. It wasn't until after we'd had sex that I realized just how much."

"I honestly believed you just used her" Nate said. "You didn't exactly fight for her, now did you? You always fight for what you want."

"You think you know me so well."

"Why didn't you just say something to me about how you felt?"

"How and when? Should I have just brought it up in casual conversation that I slept with your ex and then was unable to stop thinking about her? Somehow I don't think you would have heard much more after the sex part."

"Chuck I've never heard you say you love someone. Ever. It is a big deal for you, don't you think I get that?"

"There's no point in arguing about the past" Chuck said.

"If it's about the incident that made our entire friendship go to hell then I would say there is a point in arguing about it" Nate retorted. "Come on, Chuck. Look, I never knew she mattered that much to you. If I had known I wouldn't have reacted as strongly as I did. I just couldn't stand the thought that you used her for sex like she was nothing and then you were the one she had to be connected to for the rest of her life because you ended up getting pregnant. But if you had told me how you felt then that would have changed everything. I would still have had my pride to nurse, along with a broken heart, but I would have been more understanding. Blair wasn't the only one I cared about. But when you crossed that line I just… There were just too many things going on, you know? I had to take my anger out on someone and you were basically a sitting duck. You made yourself one by the things you said and did."

"You never asked how I felt about her."

"I didn't think I had to. Like I said, you didn't fight for her. In fact, you drove her away shortly after the pregnancy became known."

"I was sixteen and had just found out I _might_ have gotten a girl pregnant…" Chuck said. "You don't get to judge me. I was there for Blair for most of the remainder of the pregnancy. Where the hell were you?"

"I knew it wasn't mine, Chuck. Don't ask me how, I just knew. And the thought of seeing her carrying _your_ baby… I just couldn't. Okay? I felt so betrayed. Betrayed by her, betrayed by you… You were the two people that mattered the most to me and it felt like you had both just out of nowhere decided to ally yourselves against me. Only, you betrayed me for the chance to bone my girlfriend before I could. I hated you for that."

"It wasn't like that."

"But I didn't know. How could I have known?"

"After a lifetime of friendship showing a little faith doesn't seem like too much to ask."

"You know something that's rather sad? I would have stepped back. After Blair and I had broken up the first time, if you had told me how you felt about her I would have stepped back. Because I loved you man, and if she was the one girl you cared for then I could be the better person and step back."

He paused and let his words sink in for a while. Chuck studied him carefully.

"So…" Chuck finally said. "Will you now? If I ask you to, will you back down and leave Blair alone?"

"No" Nate said. "This isn't like last year. You had your chance with her. You had a _baby_ with her and you weren't able to form a relationship with her. Why should I step back when the outcome will be nothing?"

"You don't know what you're talking about Nate."

"I don't see why I should give up a girl I want because my ex-best friend asks me to" Nate said with a shrug. "Hell, you haven't even said you have feelings for her."

"I do" Chuck spat out, incredibly frustrated. "I do, okay? I'm in love with Blair, I've been for over a year now, and I'm sorry you ended up getting hurt. I honestly, truly believed that you were over her and in love with Serena, or I would have never slept with her. So I'm asking you now Nate… For old friendship's sake… I'm asking you to not date the girl I'm in love with. The mother of my daughter."

"I'm not stepping down" Nate said. "You're not my best friend anymore. And I care more about her now than I did last year. Your feelings, however, I'm not too sure about."

Chuck looked away for a second, fighting his anger and frustration. Then he turned back towards Nate with new determination.

"If you don't care anymore about whether or not I'm in love with Blair… if that doesn't matter to you… then I can understand that. But there's something else going on here. Another aspect. If I lose Blair to you then I guess that is my own fault, like you said. I can live with it if I have to. I cannot, however, live with losing Grace to you."

"What are you talking about?" Nate sighed.

"If things work out between you and Blair then you're going to be spending a lot of time with her and therefore also with Grace. My daughter is currently living mainly with her mother; I only have her a few days a month. Best case scenario I'll have her half the time. That means you will be spending just as much, if not more time with her."

"If you have problems with your custodial arrangements then take it up with Blair, not me" Nate replied.

"I'm fine with the custody arrangements" Chuck said. "I don't expect to get her more than half the time. What I object to is you spending as much time with her as I do or even more. If you and Blair live happily ever after then that's the way it goes. However my daughter growing up seeing you as her father as much as she does me is neither fair nor acceptable."

"Chuck you're being ridiculous" Nate argued. "That baby loves you, and I can't take your place."

"You seem to have a talent for winning over the people whose love I desire the most."

"Yes but you're her _father_. I haven't seen the two of you together all that much but from what I have seen it's clear that she thinks you're awesome. Whether or not I'm with Blair, I'm not her parent."

"Not by blood. But she is only a baby, less than a year old. Do you really think that she will instinctively know the difference between my connection to her and yours if she grows up with both of us playing an active part in her life? '_Dad_' is not some mythical quality a child instinctively recognizes. It's a word they learn to ascribe to the man who plays the most prominent role in their childhood. She won't know the difference between you and me in that regard."

"I suppose you'll just have to make twice the effort with her then."

"Oh give me a break, this is not about whether or not I take on my share of the parenting and you know it" Chuck snarled. "How could she _not_ think of you as a father if you live with her mother and you're there every other week in her life, just as much as I will be?"

"Do you really think it's fair to ask me to break up with Blair for that reason?" Nate asked. "If you care about Blair as much as you say you do, do you really want her to have to be single forever just so you won't feel threatened as Grace's father?"

"I didn't say forever. But in case you haven't noticed my daughter is not even a year old yet. It's different if Blair starts seeing someone when Grace is a few years old and knows that _I_ am her daddy."

"Forget it man, I'm not going to back off for a few years so that you can sweep in and try to win Blair over."

"You just said that you didn't think I would be able to get her even if she was single again" Chuck pointed out. "And we're not talking about me and Blair we are talking about me and Grace."

"Look I won't be spending _exactly_ as much time around her as you will" Nate said. "I want Blair but I'm not planning on giving up on lacrosse or hanging out with friends or things like that just because I'm with her."

"Am I supposed to be comforted by that?"

"Yeah, if you're that concerned that Grace is going to think of me as a father."

"You don't even almost get it" Chuck said, slowly shaking his head. "You haven't got a clue what it means to be with someone who's a parent. Blair needs other things now than she needed two years ago."

"I understand what she needs."

"No you don't" Chuck said. "And you may think right now that it won't be a problem to date Blair and still leave the majority of the parenting to she and I. Blair's life over the next fifteen years or so is going to be decided by the fact that she has a baby. Want to take a summer abroad? Can't, Blair's daughter can't go with. Want to go out to dinner on Thursday night? Can't, Blair has a PTA meeting. Want to spend Thanksgiving at your mother's place? Can't, unless you also invite me so that Grace can spend the holiday with both parents."

"Those are all very hypothetical scenarios."

"The point is do you really think you can be okay with not having a say in things regarding Grace if you're going to be Blair's boyfriend?"

"Oh give me a break, of course I will have a say in things like where we spend holidays or when we take vacations. But which school the child goes to or whether she should play the flute or the violin is hardly of interest to me."

"You may think so now" Chuck said. "Just wait a few years when you've lived with her part-time and grown to know her. Do you think you'll be okay with not having any say in how she's being raised if she's being raised under your roof?"

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself" Nate said. "I haven't proposed marriage to Blair, I've merely begun dating her again. What happens in the future can be dealt with in the future. Right now all that matters is that I want Blair and I believe she wants me."

"She can't casually date people anymore" Chuck argued. "Look, if you're not prepared to be there for the long haul then that's another reason you should step back. She's a mother now and you don't seem to get that."

"What I don't get is why you're hiding behind Grace" Nate shot back. "First you're telling me I should back down because you don't want me spending too much time with your daughter, then you're telling me I should back down unless I am prepared to be there until she's an adult. I don't think any of this has to do with Grace, I think it has to do with your feelings for Blair."

"Nate…" Chuck said. "Grace is all I have left. I cannot lose her to you or to anyone and I cannot let someone walk into her life and then just casually stroll out of it a few years down the line when he's looking for greener pastures."

"I'm not saying I'm not serious about her but I'm saying let's not start discussing where we should take our vacation when Grace is twelve."

"Please Nate" Chuck said. "At least… At least give us a chance to work out how raising Grace is going to work, let me and Blair have some time for that. And give the three of us a chance to connect as a family and learn the ropes and figure out the basics."

"You've had months to do that already."

"It takes longer than that. Grace grows rapidly and her needs are changing. Can't we at least have her first years to figure things out before trying to figure out how to fit a stepparent into that picture?"

"If what you really want is what's best for Grace then I think me being involved already is the best option" Nate said. "Give her a chance to get accustomed to me when she's little. I swear to you Chuck I am not out to replace you in her life. I want to be with her mother. I have no desire to take over the role as father."

"Then please just back down" Chuck said, almost pleadingly.

"I'm sorry man" Nate said and shrugged a little. "Really, I am sorry. For all of it. For all the misunderstandings and all the fights. But it is what it is. Blair is my girlfriend. That's not about to change."

He walked back up the stairs to go back to class. Chuck watched him go and then turned and walked in the opposite direction. The last thing he wanted was to spend another minute at school today.

* * *

"Hey!" Blair said, looking up from the baby when Chuck walked into the room. "You're awfully early."

Chuck said nothing, dropping his bag by the door. Blair was sitting on the bed with Grace in her arms. He walked over and took the baby from her, holding her close, deeply distraught by the thought of Nate getting to be around her so much more than Chuck did and by the thought of Nate being with Blair.

"So how has it been working these past… weeks? Months?" he asked. "You've hid him in the closet when I've stopped by? Texted him the minute I've walked out the door?"

"Chuck I have the right to date people."

"I didn't say you had no right, I asked how it's worked" Chuck retorted. "How can you have been cavorting with my ex-best friend for so long and I had no idea?"

"We thought it best to keep it low key" Blair said. "He's been here in the evenings and during the days when you've had the baby."

"Low key" Chuck nodded. "Most illicit affairs are best kept that way. Good call."

"It is not an illicit affair" Blair snarled.

"Then why the secrecy? You and I didn't sneak around for the thrill of it, we snuck around because we didn't want Nate to find out."

"No, we snuck around because _you_ didn't want Nate to find out. I didn't limit it to just Nate, I didn't want anyone to know."

"Then you really should have been more careful with your birth control" Chuck said dryly, turning his attention to Grace instead of her mother.

"What's the matter Bass?" Blair said coyly. "Jealous that I'm seeing Nate again? Look I'm sorry about how things went down yesterday. I admit I made a bad judgment call. I thought it would be easier to break the news if you guys could just… chat first or something. I don't know. I wasn't expecting Nate to tell you we were dating before I got there."

"I don't want him around Grace all that much" Chuck said, focusing on one issue to avoid having to address the other.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't have a problem with Nate seeing her per se" Chuck clarified. "But it's important to me that she knows who her father is and that some guy you're seeing doesn't get to spend more time with her than I do."

"Like I've said, he comes around in the evenings, right around the time I put her to bed" Blair said icily. "And he's here when Grace is with you. What are you worried about Bass?"

"I'm worried that she's going to grow up thinking of me as _one_ of her daddies" Chuck said. "I'm especially worried that the other daddy will be a guy who didn't take any responsibility even when he thought Grace might be his."

"Unwind Chuck" Blair sighed. "Nate and I are what we are. You and I are Grace's parents. I don't want her to think of Nate as her father either."

"Good. I miss out on enough as it is. I don't need to know that Nate gets to be with her more than I do."

Blair frowned. Were his objections really all about Grace? Did he not have any problem with the idea of Blair with another man? Nate especially? She wasn't with Nate to make Chuck jealous but it did sting a little that he didn't say a word about it.

"Can I expect you to be civil about all of this then?" she asked, partially attempting to push his buttons.

"Yes, but I still don't like it" Chuck said. "This thing with you and Nate is doomed to fail and I hope it happens sooner rather than later so Grace doesn't end up confused."

"Nate and I are not doomed to fail" Blair objected.

"Sure you are. There's no spark between you, there never was."

"We've had plenty of spark. Fireworks even."

"That was us. After experiencing what there was between you and I there is no way you could ever settle for Archibald."

Instead of being sour that he wasn't acting jealous Blair was now offended that he didn't think she could spark with Nate. She opened her mouth to give him a snarly reply but before she could think of anything to say Grace's greedy little hands had grabbed a firm hold of the scarf Chuck wore around his neck.

"No Grace" Chuck said. "Grace let go. I said no!"

"Give it up Chuck" Blair said with a content smirk. "She's claimed that scarf as her territory now."

"I am not prepared to seed it" Chuck frowned, removing the scarf from Grace's grasp, making her cry in the process.

"Stop being so greedy and just give her the damn scarf" Blair said. "She loves that thing. To you it's an item of clothing, to her it's so much more."

"No, to me it's my signature scarf and to her it's something she can drool all over. Grace don't grab it again, I said let go!"

He struggled to hold the baby with one hand and wrestle the scarf from her grasp with the other. Blair raised an eyebrow, wondering why he was even bothering to fight this battle. Grace put the scarf in her mouth and with an irritated groan Chuck tried to get it back.

"She _bit_ on it!" he yelped. "Oh for crying out loud!"

"See? Marking her territory."

"Blair it's not funny, she's going to ruin the fabric!"

"I'm Team Grace" Blair decided. "The sooner she ruins that thing the sooner you will give up and realize that she needs it more than you do."

"Excuse me, _needs_ it?"

"You shouldn't be so greedy. I can't believe you're denying your infant daughter your scarf. Let her have it already."

"Grace I will give you a pony if you want one when you're older, I will give you a running tab at Dior, I will even give you Bass Industries at some point" Chuck said, and firmly took the scarf back and flung it over his shoulder, away from her grasp. "But I will not give you my signature scarf."

"It's just a stupid _scarf_" Blair said with rolling eyes. "Now you made her cry. Again."

"Excuse me Waldorf, I'm going to take her out for a walk" Chuck sulked.

"Oh no you're not!" Blair objected. "You had her all weekend!"

"Why don't you give dear Nathaniel a call and he can keep you occupied while I'm out with her?"

"Don't go passive aggressive on me" Blair frowned. "The baby stays put. Besides, it's time for her nap."

"So, she'll nap in the stroller."

"Chuck" Blair said. "Grace stays here and sleeps in her crib. You should go back to school, you're not off for another two hours."

"No thank you" Chuck said. "I have no intention of returning to class today. I think my time is better spent with her now that I need to make sure she knows me better than your boyfriend of the month."

"Seriously Chuck" Blair said. "I'm warning you."

"Blair come on, I just want to spend time with her. You get her five days out of the week anyhow."

"Yes but you _just had her_. Let _me_ be with her for a while."

"You asked me to come over today" he reminded her.

"I felt we needed to talk about the Nate thing. Now we've talked."

"Barely" Chuck muttered.

He turned his back to Blair and held the baby closer. He felt very much on edge, afraid of Nate getting to be there more often than he was. Despite the progress he had made he knew he still had a long way to go before he had formed a real father-daughter relationship with Grace. He still had his issues, mainly with grieving his father but also with figuring out how to take care of the baby without his father's help and trying to come to terms with the jealousy he had felt towards her before Bart's death. The thought of Nate getting involved in the situation made him very nervous. It was tough enough as it was without adding a rival for Grace's affections. The fact that Blair was back with Nate hurt enough without adding the loss of the baby to that.

"Fine, I won't take her for a walk" he said. "But can I please stay?"

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Sure. I won't throw you out. Just don't meddle in my love life."

He turned around and looked at her and she was surprised to see the emotion in his eyes. He wanted to tell her what was going on in his mind right now but he was afraid to let her in. If she had gone back to Nate, if she had chosen him instead of trying to make something work with Chuck, then could he know for sure that she would see things the way he needed her to in order to share his thoughts with her? He had never told her about his jealousy towards Grace or said much about his issues with Bart. How could she possibly understand what he was going through right now and adjust the time Nate spent with the baby accordingly to help Chuck feel secure with his role in Grace's life? Even if Blair could understand all that, how could he tell her about it without talking about her? She had already made comments about jealousy and right now he was terrified that she would learn just how jealous he was and just how much it pained him to see her with Nate. He felt as if he would lose too much if she knew. He couldn't stand to have her look at him and know how much he wanted her to be with _him_ now that she was with someone else instead.

He could see though that she had softened. Something in her had reacted to something about him. He wasn't sure what, he wasn't even aware that his eyes were watery.

"Chuck are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine."

"I promise you Chuck… Grace will only know you as her father. No one else. Nate doesn't deserve to have her think of him as a father. You don't have to worry about not getting to be with her."

"That's an easy thing to say" he said. "But the truth is you want to take her to a different state in the fall. I know you're not doing that to cause problems for me but…"

"We can talk about that some other time" Blair said and got up. "Look, why don't we _both_ take her for a walk in the park?"

"No, that's okay…"

"Come on" Blair said, smiling slightly. "Some fresh air would do her good."

"I don't want to intrude on your day with her."

"I didn't say I'd let you push the stroller" Blair smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "You matter so much to her, you know. Seriously, don't be worried. No matter what happens in the fall I don't want to separate the two of you."

"I know she loves me" Chuck said. "I just don't want her to forget about me."

"Don't worry, you're quite unforgettable" Blair said with a hint of a smile. "Take it from someone who knows." She walked to the door. "You coming?"

Feeling utterly confused he followed her out into the hall and down the steps. What exactly did she mean by kissing him on the cheek and making a comment like that when she was dating Nate? Not that he had ever minded her flirting with him but at the time being it just confused him and he didn't like feeling this way. He didn't like not knowing for sure what she was feeling for him and much to his annoyance that was how it usually went. How could it be that he had known the thoughts in her head so well before they started sleeping together and ever since then he had always been guessing rather than knowing?

Together they prepared Grace for an outing, very few words passing between them. Chuck was caught up in his thoughts of his rivalry with Nate, both for the mother and the child's affections. Blair on her end was trying to figure out what she really felt in this whole situation. Being with Nate was so comfortable and easy and it was one of her life goals coming true. What difference did it make if he couldn't make her feel the way Chuck did? At least with Nate things were simple. She needed simple. Grace needed simple.

"Ready?" Chuck asked.

"Ready if you are" she replied.

They made their way downstairs and out to the park without saying much. It had been a while since silence had been this strained between them. Yet at the same time Blair felt comfortable in this silence, comfortable near him. Oddly enough everything seemed simple with him in this moment, now that she was with Nate.

"Do you figure it will be long before she starts walking?" Chuck asked after a while.

"Patience Chuck" Blair smiled. "She's not even crawling yet."

"I was an early walker."

"I remember" Blair grinned. "Had to wear a helmet and everything. You wouldn't happen to still have that helmet, would you? In case your daughter needs it."

"I'm going to go ahead and ignore that" he said. "Let's focus instead on the fact that once she's up on her feet we're going to have to start buying her proper shoes. And I veto any high heels on her before she's at least seven."

"You think I'd put a toddler in heels?"

"I think you'd be tempted."

"I wouldn't be. Though I object to waiting until she's seven. She needs to learn to walk in heels at an early age."

"Point" Chuck nodded. "Though perhaps this discussion can wait another five years."

"Did you have your place baby-proofed yet?" Blair asked. "She's bound to start crawling soon. They say that once they do they're everywhere."

"I haven't gotten around to it yet. Actually I'm thinking about searching for my own place. Staying at that penthouse just seems wrong since Bart died and now Lily's begun cavorting with Rufus Humphrey for real. This morning Jenny Humphrey appeared at the breakfast table disguised as a raccoon. That's something I think Grace should be shielded from."

"Grace should be shielded from all Humphreys at all times."

"Right. So here's hoping I'll find a place of my own soon enough."

"You know, I hear they have lovely places in New Haven."

"Nice try, but I'm thinking a penthouse overlooking Central Park. Having small children in the city is not ideal; the least we can do for our baby is have the park nearby."

"New Haven is a much better place for a child to grow up."

"It's not going to happen so just drop it."

They walked in silence for the next fifteen minutes. The revelation that Chuck was looking to buy a new apartment near the park had made Blair nervous. If he went ahead and did that there would be even less chance of convincing him to come to New Haven and right now she figured her best bet was for him to move with her. She needed to find a way to make it seem ideal for him to live in Connecticut for a few years. She wondered if perhaps she could use his newly developed insecurities towards Nate to her advantage but she couldn't bring herself to form a plan. It seemed cruel to exploit the fact that he was worried Nate would get to spend more time with Grace.

She glanced up at Chuck through the corner of her eye. Who knew if they would keep going out together with Grace now that Blair was with Nate? A lot of things were changing. She wasn't sure if it was all for the better.

* * *

Blair felt oddly nervous as Nate leaned in and kissed her. They had been sitting on his bed talking, but now it was clear he wanted to do more than just talk. She wanted it too but she felt uneasy. She knew he would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, he was probably too much of a gentle soul to even agree to a bit of rough bed play if she wanted it. Yet she felt more nervous now than she had done in the limo with Chuck the night she lost her virginity.

She wrapped an arm around Nate's neck and let him gently edge her down on her back. He began kissing her more heatedly, his hands slowly trailing over her body. No man had seen her naked since the last time she had slept with Chuck, doctors not included. Nate had never seen her stretch marks nor was she sure that her body looked as pristine as it had done before she got pregnant. She wondered what he would say, what he would think. She had been nervous about this with Chuck too while she was still pregnant but Chuck hadn't been bothered by her appearance at the least. She hoped Nate would be okay with it too but she couldn't be sure. With Nate she had always gone out of her way to be pretty and pristine and perfect. He had always had a bit of a hard time dealing with the reality of her.

He moaned when she ran her hand over the front of his pants. She wanted this. She did. She just wished she could feel more relaxed. What if it would hurt? Since the last time she had had sex she had given birth to a child and gotten sutures in a highly uncomfortable place. At the back of her mind she wished it could have been Chuck who eased her back in to her sex life but she dismissed the thought. Chuck was a fantasy. Nate was the reality. It was strange how it had ended up that way.

"I want you Blair" Nate whispered in her ear.

"I want you too" she answered. "But I…"

He lifted his weight off her and looked down at her through his bangs, a worried expression on his face.

"Something wrong? We don't have to do this."

"No I want to. It's just…" She felt herself blushing. "I haven't had sex since the baby was born. I'm… a little nervous."

"Don't worry" he smiled. "I may not have actually taken your virginity but I was gentle with you that first time we had, wasn't I?"

"True. You were."

"And I will be sure to take the same great care with you now" he said, leaning down to kiss her neck.

"I trust you" she mumbled, closing her eyes.

She let him continue his ministrations, deciding to let him take the lead tonight. And he did his best, she knew that much, and he had learned a thing or two since the last time they were in bed together. Still it was a bit unpleasant at first, before she could really relax. The experience wasn't amazing but it was good enough that she felt confident that she could resume her sex life and not have to worry about there being any pain. Nate was a good lover even though he wasn't fantastic, and when she rested in his arms afterward she felt content.

"You feeling alright?" he panted.

"Mm-hm" she nodded. "I'll be more fun next time. I promise."

He laughed a little.

"The last thing I will ever accuse you of is not being fun in bed."

"It's not going to be like you're probably used to" she said, feeling nervous again. "I mean… What I mean is… I mean I can't have a sexlife like any other person our age. Most nights out of the week Grace is sleeping just a few feet away from me."

He propped himself up against his arm and looked down at her.

"How long before her nursery is finished?"

"That's not really the point."

"Yeah I know but… once she starts sleeping in her own nursery and not in your room I could start spending the night at your place."

"I don't want to move too fast" Blair said nervously. "I'm afraid it might confuse her if you're suddenly there all the time."

"Blair" he chuckled.

"I just… hope you're aware that… that I'm not really who I was a year ago" she said softly. "I want to be with you, you know that. But I want to be a mom firsthand. You were my number one priority when we were dating before but now Grace is."

"Blair I don't expect to compete with your daughter" Nate said. "And we already had this discussion, remember?"

"My life involves a lot more planning these days too."

"I know. We've been back in each other's lives for a while now."

"I suppose everything just seems more real now that we're having sex again" Blair said, studying her hands that were playing with the comforter.

Nate sighed and rolled over on his back. She glanced over at him. He looked deep in thought. She wished she hadn't said anything about her post-game concerns. They had been peacefully snuggling and it had been nice. Having body contact with someone who was an adult had been like a craving and tonight she had gotten a very pleasant dose of it. It would have been nice if it had continued.

"I said something wrong?" she concluded.

"No…" he said. "It's something Chuck said actually."

"Chuck?"

"Yeah, he… he said this whole thing to me about how things for you and me aren't going to be the way they were before. About how dating someone who's a parent is a lot different from dating someone who's just another high school kid."

Blair tried to find something to say and wondered if she was offended that Chuck had discussed her capabilities of having a relationship with Nate or if she was happy that he had on some level tried to dissuade Nate from dating her.

"You're not hesitating about this relationship because of him, are you?" Nate suddenly asked.

Blair couldn't think of anything to say at first. The question had come so out of the blue. She hadn't thought of herself as hesitant about their relationship. True she wasn't as passionately invested as she had been before but was that really such a wonder? She had Grace now and the baby took up a lot of her energy.

"I… Nate I'm not hesitant" she stuttered.

"It feels like you're holding back."

"I'm not" she said. "If anything… the way I'm acting tonight is not about being hesitant about us. I want this to work. We've been given a second chance and I never thought I would have that with you. I'm just concerned that with the baby and everything it's going to end up being too hard."

"I'm not concerned about any of that" Nate said. "I know what it entails to date a mother, and the things I don't know I will learn. My concern is that there's something more between you and Chuck than what you've been telling me."

"Don't be silly" Blair said.

"I've seen the two of you over the last year. I saw you dancing at the Snowflake Ball. And I saw the look on his face when he found out you and I were back together."

He didn't add that Chuck had confessed to being in love with her. Not because he was worried that Blair might choose Chuck if he knew but because he couldn't bring himself to give away Chuck's secret. He had always kept Chuck's secrets in the past.

"Nate I promise you" Blair said. "Chuck and I are just friends. Friends and parents to Grace. It ends there."

She felt bad lying to him but what was she supposed to say? She couldn't have Chuck. Nate was the person she had wanted most of her life, now available to her again. If she told Nate how she really felt about Chuck it would be over between them and she needed Nate's presence in her life right now. It wasn't as if she didn't have feelings for Nate. They were just different. But it was better that he didn't think she had any stronger feelings for Chuck at all than to try and explain something she couldn't fully understand herself.

"I hope you're being honest with me" Nate sighed. "Because I want you. I really missed you all last year. You have no idea how jealous I've been seeing you and Chuck together, sharing that baby together."

"I had no idea you were jealous…" Blair said softly.

"Chuck will always be a part of our lives. There's no getting away from that." He rolled back over to his side and looked at her intently. "I can live with you having a baby by my former best friend. I have to. I just don't want to have to worry about him as a romantic rival."

"There's no reason to worry" Blair lied.

"Good" Nate smiled. "Because you and me? I think it can be pretty great."

"I know it can. But it would help a lot if you and Chuck could be friends again. Not best friends, I understand if you can't. But as you say, he will always be there in my life. I don't want Grace to end up feeling like she has to choose sides."

"I think Chuck and I will be able to get along" Nate said. He leaned down and kissed her. "Not as well as you and I will be getting along, but still…"

Blair kissed him back and tried to put Nate's former best friend from her mind. Nate was certainly making an effort to help her forget. They had sex again, this time it felt better than the first, and afterward she fell asleep in his arms. She was exhausted and not even the sound of Nate's snoring in her ear could keep her awake. But the last thought that went through her mind before she dozed off was that she missed the feeling of hair on the chest pressed up against her back.

* * *

I suppose the Nate+Blair storyline came at a really bad time… From what I gather things have been really bad for Chair fans lately on the show. I am now back to avoiding spoilers as of about a week ago so I'm trying to avoid getting too much detail but people seem upset. Here's to hoping things will get better.

On an unrelated note updates might be further apart for a while. There's a little too much stuff going on in my personal life right now for me to have time to write a lot, not to mention I'm not exactly in the mood for it. I hope I'll be back on track soon.

Thanks for reading, please review.


	43. Chapter 43

This got finished way sooner than I had expected. Then again I've had most of this chapter sitting on my comp for a while now. Several reviewers have requested or suggested a storyline similar to what happens in this installment though I'm guessing this is not quite what you had in mind =) Anyhow, hope you'll enjoy it.

* * *

So far this was going fairly okay. Nate had to admit that much. Him and Blair had been out for a walk on Blair's baby-free weekend when she had suggested they should stop by Chuck's place for a visit. Nate had been hesitant at first, knowing Chuck's lack of enthusiasm over Nate spending time with the baby but Blair had insisted. She wanted the three of them to be able to be in the same room together and be civil.

She had promptly called Chuck, who had agreed to let them stop by. In all likelihood he would have rather have it so that he came by for a truce session when Blair had the baby and not have his weekend intruded on but he had told them they could come over and Blair had been really excited about it.

Now the three of them were sitting in the living room, having tea in what was a surprisingly relaxed atmosphere. There was some awkwardness, which could only be expected, but Chuck seemed to be relatively okay with seeing Blair and Nate together, or if he wasn't he at least hid it well. The baby was asleep in her crib in Chuck's room, and aside from the baby monitor sitting on the coffee table it would have been a bit like old times. If in old times Chuck had been infatuated with Nate's girlfriend.

"So did you meet Serena's latest boy toy?" Chuck asked.

"Who, Gabriel?" Blair asked, grabbing a biscuit from the trey on the table. "I did, unfortunately."

"What do you mean '_unfortunately_'?" Nate frowned.

"S can do better" Blair said. "And there's something about that guy that I don't quite like. I just can't put my finger to what it is."

"Probably the fact that he's from the south and you hate confederate descendants" Chuck said with a dry smile.

"I think we should give the guy a chance" Nate objected.

"Fine by me" Chuck shrugged. "I don't care either way. What Serena does, and _who_ she does, is her business."

Blair wasn't so quick to drop the subject. She was clearly skeptical of Gabriel and didn't consider him good enough for her best friend. Nate tried to argue that Serena had good judgment while Chuck counted that Serena had _no_ judgment but was free to make her own mistakes, and they all had better things to worry themselves with.

Chuck was in the middle of a sentence when a deep cough on the baby monitor cut him off. He shared a look with Blair and leaned in closer to the monitor, wondering if he had really just heard the baby or if it was static.

Then after a few seconds a whole round of coughs came from the baby monitor. Chuck was on his feet and halfway to his bedroom before Nate could even react and Blair followed not shortly after. Nate got up and walked after them to see what was going on.

He walked into Chuck's room where Chuck had just lifted the baby up and was studying her with concern. Blair stood right next to him, looking like she might freak out.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Chuck said to the baby, who had started to cry.

"Of course she's okay" Nate said. "She just coughed. Everybody coughs."

"Oh my God Chuck, she's burning up" Blair said, holding a hand to Grace's forehead. "Oh my God, feel this."

"Blair" Nate said, trying to get her to calm down. "It's just a cough. Babies cough. The sniffles aren't dangerous."

"Nate this isn't the sniffles" Blair said. "I know when it's just the sniffles or just a cough. Chuck feel her forehead, she's burning up!"

Chuck lifted the baby up higher and put his forehead to hers. He looked concerned.

"What do we do?" he asked Blair. "What do the baby books say?"

"Guys, it's just a fever" Nate said. "Babies get fevers."

"Yeah, and babies _die_ from fevers" Blair said. "We have to take her to the hospital. I want her pediatrician to take a look at her."

"Just take a second and calm down" Nate said. "Okay, now she was fine when you put her down, right Chuck?"

"I didn't feel her forehead when I did" Chuck said. "She might have been warm, I don't know. She's definitely warm now. And she didn't want to eat anything at lunch. I thought she just wasn't hungry, but now I'm worried. She never says no to food."

"God, what if she has the measles or the flu or something really terrible?" Blair said. "I'm not breastfeeding anymore, she's not getting my antibodies. She could have _anything_!"

"Give your doctor a call" Nate said, trying to remain the voice of reason. "Don't panic, don't freak out, just give your doctor a call and find out if you should bring her in or not."

"I will not waste time on the phone when my daughter's life is at stake" Blair cried. "We're leaving right now!"

"She's not dying, Blair" Chuck said, though he clearly was concerned.

"But what if she is and we wasted time trying to get a hold of Dr. Harrison on the phone instead of bringing her in?"

"Okay then how about this?" Nate said. "One of you contacts Dr. Harrison, the other starts to pack up whatever stuff she needs. By the time you've got everything you will probably have gotten a hold of her doctor."

"Yeah, okay" Chuck said. "Blair you call the doctor. Find someone on staff to start packing her things. Nate, I need your help getting a wet cloth to hold against her forehead."

"Let me take the baby" Blair said.

"I've got her Blair, just go make the call."

Blair hesitated but then hurried off to get her phone. Nate followed Chuck into the bathroom and started looking for a cloth or a towel that was small enough. The baby was still crying, quite loudly.

"This is all a little dramatic, don't you think?" Nate said. "She must have coughed a hundred times before."

"My daughter's never had a fever before" Chuck replied.

"Well she's bound to get one sometime."

"How is that supposed to make me feel calmer?"

Nate found a tiny towel that had been previously used when the baby still spat up a lot, and ran it under the faucet.

"It's okay sweetie…" Chuck said, kissing the baby's head. "It's okay."

Nate handed the towel to Chuck, who put it against the baby's forehead and gave Nate a nod and a '_thanks_'. He walked back to his bedroom with the baby who was still screaming at the top of her lungs. Nate followed him and nearly collided with one of the servants who was rushing to get the baby's things.

"Listen, you really should try to calm down a bit" Nate said to Chuck. "Even if she does have something potentially dangerous it's not going to get better because you and Blair have a freak out."

"I'm cool as a cucumber" Chuck argued.

"Yeah, sure you are."

Chuck ignored him and focused on trying to soothe his crying daughter. Nate shook his head and walked over to the crib, picking up the stuffed animal the baby had been laying next to and held it up to Grace in an attempt to get her attention.

"Right now Blair is almost panicking and you are all riled up" he said. "Your staff is running around trying to pack the baby's things. Don't you think all of this is something she picks up on? She's never going to calm down unless her mom and dad calm down."

Chuck nodded, realizing Nate was right.

"Look, on a logical level I know we're probably overreacting" he said. "But this instinct is stronger than you think. She's never been sick before and Blair and I are just teenagers with very little knowledge of how to handle these things. She's really small and fragile and doesn't have the strength to fight an illness."

"I'm not so sure about that" Nate said with a little smile. "She's part you, part Blair. I'd say she's got strength enough."

Blair came rushing in, holding her phone to her ear.

"I can't get a hold of the damn doctor!" she cried. "What the hell kind of pediatrician doesn't work weekends?"

"He can't work all the time" Nate said and walked over, putting an arm around her. "Didn't they connect you to the on-call pediatrician?"

Blair didn't answer. She shrugged off his arm and walked up to Chuck, putting a hand on her crying child's back.

"Has she coughed again?" she asked.

Chuck nodded.

"But not too much" he added. "I don't think her throat is sore or she wouldn't be able to cry so much. What do you think?"

"I think screw getting a hold of an on-call doctor; I'm taking my baby to the hospital right this minute" Blair said, hanging up the phone and striding towards the door. "Chuck where is her jacket?"

"Coat closet."

"Shouldn't you at least take her temperature first?" Nate suggested. "Maybe there's no big reason to be concerned? I know you guys care about her and are a little freaked, but reasonably she can't have gone from a-okay to dying in the span of one nap."

"Instinct is stronger than reason" Chuck remarked and followed Blair. "We can all have a laugh about how we overreacted later, but right now I know I won't be able to relax until a doctor's taken a look at her."

Nate threw his hands out in exasperation but followed in their tracks, grabbing Blair's purse on the way out. It wasn't that he didn't understand that a fever in an eight month old baby would be alarming to the parents, but Blair and Chuck were both reacting as if Grace had caught the smallpox.

The young parents struggled to get the baby dressed to go outside while they waited for the elevator. Once Grace was dressed Blair grabbed both their coats but didn't try to actually offer Chuck his. She had just gotten her own coat on when the elevator arrived and she hurriedly followed Chuck inside with Nate in tow.

Chuck was still trying to shush the baby as the elevator began to go down and Blair handed the baby's bag and Chuck's coat to Nate so that she could focus on the child as well. She wanted to hold her but Chuck refused to hand the baby over, pointing out that she was fine where she was. Standing there with Grace's and Blair's bags in his hands and Chuck's coat thrown over his arm watching Blair and Chuck focus all their attention on the crying child in Chuck's arms was not what Nate had had in mind for a bonding experience.

* * *

An hour and a half later Nate got himself a cup of coffee from a coffee machine in the hospital hallway. Grace had been looked at by a pediatrician who deemed her feverish but not dangerously ill, and had told Blair and Chuck to give her some ibuprofen and take her home. Pretty much what Nate had suggested they do in the first place.

From the moment they had left Chuck's building Nate had felt like a third wheel. There was some form of weird world Blair went into with Chuck when it came to the baby, he was starting to see that now. While she was Nate's girlfriend, on occasions like this Nate didn't really matter much. The only adult she seemed to respond to was Chuck.

Nate felt jealous. It was probably stupid but he couldn't help it. Now that he knew how Chuck felt about Blair, and he had sometimes wondered if Blair felt something similar for Chuck, it made Nate very insecure to see his girlfriend share something that was quite intimate with his former best friend. Something very special, the most important thing in Blair's life. And only Chuck could completely understand the things Blair felt because he was the only one with the same bond to Grace as she had.

Nate hadn't even been allowed in to the exam room. The doctor had said only the parents, so Nate was now waiting outside. Blair had rushed out for about twenty seconds to tell him what the doctor had said but for she had then rushed right back in to Grace's room again and hadn't come out since. That was twenty minutes ago.

The door opened again and this time it was Chuck who came out. He walked over to Nate with his hands in his pockets and offered a crooked smile.

"I'm not quite ready to laugh about how we overreacted yet…" he said. "But Blair told you everything is fine for the moment, right?"

"Yeah."

"The doctor says she's got a cold with a mild fever and a throat infection."

"Told you it was nothing serious."

"Like I said, I'm not quite ready to laugh about it yet…" Chuck said, running a hand through his hair. "But I'm sorry about all the drama. We just got scared. You'll understand some day when you have kids."

The comment hadn't been meant in a bad way, Nate realized that. It was just a general statement, and probably a very true statement at that. Still it felt almost like an insult. Like Nate was too immature and inexperienced to comprehend how people who had reached grander stages of their lives acted and reacted. He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, feeling more than a little defensive at this point.

"What?" he said. "Do you think it takes having a kid yourself to understand that parents are concerned for their baby's well-being?"

"What?" Chuck asked, surprised by Nate's sudden irritation.

"Do you think I'm too stupid to get why you and Blair were so worried?"

"When did I ever say that?" Chuck asked, getting a bit annoyed as well. It had been a hard day and this was the last thing he needed.

"For your information I care about that little girl as well, and I love Blair. The last thing I would want is for something bad to happen to Blair's daughter. I _get_ that you guys were scared. I also _get_ that parents don't see things rationally when they get scared like that. And I _get_ that as Blair's boyfriend, who is _not_ her baby's father, it should be my job to help calm her down and look at things from a rational standpoint when she freaks over things like that. It is actually to Blair's _benefit_ to calm down and look at things that way. If she does she will see that a cold is not going to kill her daughter and it will relieve her of a lot of worry and stress. _You_ can't help her see things that way. You're too busy freaking out right along with her. So just because I kept a level head and tried to reason with the two of you that doesn't mean I don't _get_ that you guys were concerned."

Chuck glared at Nate with cold eyes.

"You do get a lot of things Nathaniel, but here's one thing that's not on the list" he said dryly. "There is no such thing as being rational and logical about your baby being sick for the first time. Nothing you could have possibly said would have made a damn difference to us. I _knew_ that a cold would hardly be fatal but I wasn't any less scared for knowing that."

"So you're saying what?"

"I'm saying you simply don't get it. You can't until the child in question is your own."

"Well she should have been mine."

Chuck sighed.

"Fascinating analysis Archibald, but I really have neither the time nor the energy to deal with your issues or your lack of understanding of basic genetics right now. Excuse me, I'm going back to my daughter and her mother."

"Not so fast" Nate said, grabbing Chuck by the arm. "You may share that daughter with Blair but that is _all_ you share with her. When this day is over you're going back to your place with Grace and I am going back to my place with Blair. Keep that in mind."

"So I take it this means you want me to cancel the plans I had to throw Blair down on the gurney in there and have wild monkey sex with her while the nurse tries to get our baby to take some ibuprofen in the corner?" Chuck said sarcastically.

"Just don't blur the lines."

"We share a mutual concern for the baby, which means we come together as _parents_ when the baby is sick" Chuck said. "It's no big deal."

"With the two of you, it's _always_ a big deal" Nate argued.

"I can't believe this is what you're currently spewing" Chuck said. "Weren't you the one who pointed out that I haven't managed to get elevated to love interest status in the past twelve months even though I share a _child_ with Blair?"

Nate backtracked a bit. He didn't know how to put words to his insecurities regarding Blair and Chuck and he had a feeling Chuck was at an advantage in this particular discussion. Arguing with Chuck when Chuck had the upper hand was never a good idea.

"Just… don't try anything funny, okay?" he finally said. "She's really emotional right now and I don't want you to…"

"What?" Chuck asked when Nate trailed off. "Take advantage of her? You're back on that? Nate for God's sake, I would never take advantage of Blair. Do you really believe she's any more emotional now, any more prone to falling into my arms, than she was when our baby had just been born?"

"I'm just reminding you not to confuse things."

"I'm not the one who's confused" Chuck said. "I'm also not the one so insecure in his relationship that he thinks the slightest nudge might make his girlfriend cheat on him. What's the matter, Archibald? Can't measure up in bed?"

"You're an ass."

"That may very well be true" Chuck said tiredly. "But I'm also the guy who had that baby with Blair and if you'll excuse me I'm going to go back and check on said baby. And I think I will be able to do that without attempting to win Blair over. Believe it or not, right now sex is the last thing on my mind."

He walked back inside Grace's room. Nate remained out in the hallway, fuming. He wanted to go inside and talk to Blair, see how she was doing, but he didn't feel like he could. Chuck didn't want him there, Blair might not want him there either and the nurse most certainly didn't want an additional person in the room.

He wondered what was going on in there. What kind of things were Chuck saying to Blair? Was he mentioning the conversation that had just taken place? What did two parents do, what did they talk about, when it was just the two of them?

He sat silently out in the hallway and waited for what felt like an eternity. Finally the door opened and Blair and Chuck came back out with Grace. The baby was asleep on Chuck's shoulder and Blair was talking softly to the nurse, asking a few more questions. Nate got up and walked over to them.

"She's ready to be taken home?" he asked.

"Yeah they say she's going to be just fine" Chuck said.

"Good. I'm happy to hear that."

"Thank you" Chuck said.

"I am so ready to get out of here" Blair said wearily, coming up to them after finishing her conversation with the nurse. "I hate hospitals."

"Let's go" Chuck said. "Princess here should be in bed."

They walked out of the hospital to the waiting limo. Before they could get in the car Nate grabbed Blair's arm.

"Listen, can I talk to you?" he said.

"Okay…" Blair said with a skeptical look. "Can we talk in the car?"

"No, I want to talk now. Just the two of us."

Blair glanced over at Grace and Chuck who were waiting by the car. She wanted to go with them. But a conversation with Nate wouldn't take too long and she could stop by Chuck's place afterward.

"Okay" she said. "Chuck I'll get home on my own."

He nodded and got in the car. Blair watched the limo drive off and felt a lump in her throat knowing her baby was ill and she was getting further away from Blair each second. Every instinct in her body told her to be close to her baby right now.

"Are you okay?" Nate asked once the car had driven off.

Stirred from her thoughts Blair turned and looked at him.

"What?"

"How are you? I know you had quite the scare today."

"As long as Grace is fine I am fine" Blair said, though she could feel herself shivering slightly and rubbed her arms absentmindedly.

"And she will be fine. She _is_ fine. Just wait a few years, you're going to be sending her off to school when she's got a serious cold, telling her a cold is no reason to stay home from school. Just the same way you never stayed home when you were sick because you were afraid of falling behind."

Blair smiled joylessly. She wasn't in the mood for reminiscing right now.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. I've been doing some thinking. I'm thinking I should get an apartment."

Blair looked surprised.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. For when I start school in the fall. I'm not a big fan of dorms."

"Okay" Blair said, unsure of what this had to do with her. "So you… want me to come with you to look at places? Want my help decorating? What?"

"Actually… I was hoping you'd like to move in with me."

Blair's chin dropped to the floor.

"You… you want… us to live together?"

"Yeah. I was thinking we could get a two bedroom apartment and Grace could have one of the rooms. Look I know you want to go to Yale this fall but even if you do you still need someplace to sleep when you're in New York. Chuck would probably be more at ease if you came back more often, it would help with the situation with the baby."

"Nate I…"

"I love you. And I think Grace is amazing."

"Yes but you have no idea what it means to _live_ with a child" Blair pointed out. "She's awfully sweet but not when it's two a.m. and she's crying."

"It would be worth it. I want to live with you. And while I have full respect for Chuck's role in Grace's life and I have no desire to be a father to her myself I would still like a chance to spend more time with her. It's like I hardly ever get to see that kid of yours, you always have me over when she's with Chuck or she's asleep. I would like to get to know her better."

"You can do that without us living together" Blair said, trying to wrap her mind around the idea of shacking up with Nate. "Don't get me wrong, I've dreamed of living with you since… forever. But it's not a decision I can make lightly. I have to think about Grace. Moving in with you would involve a huge change for her."

"Okay" Nate said. "Maybe I can't expect a decision from you right now. But please promise me you'll at least think about it?"

Blair nodded.

"I will. I promise."

"Thank you."

He pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head. He had decided to ask her to move in with him while he had been waiting out in the hallway and the more he thought about it the better it sounded. Blair didn't seem as sure but she had had a long day and she was right about needing to consider what was best for Grace. Though he hoped she would come to a decision soon. The sooner they could start living together the better.

* * *

Chuck propped his head against his right hand, glancing down at Grace who was sleeping soundly next to him on the bed, covered in a blanket. He felt calm now, relieved that he had overreacted quite majorly to what was nothing more than a light touch of fever and some coughing. If there had turned out to be something actually seriously wrong with Grace he wasn't sure how well he would have been able to handle it. The little girl was the only family he had left in the world, Jack no longer counted. She was also the only thing that bound him to Blair anymore. Above all she was the only person who loved him and the only person he could love without fear of rejection or fear of getting hurt. The thought of something bad happening to her and having to go on living knowing that he had had a child for a few short months but she had died made his blood almost freeze in his veins.

With his left hand he gently caressed his girl, occasionally stopping to place the back of his hand against her forehead to see if the fever had returned. He had already decided that tonight she would sleep in his bed and not in the crib. She was big enough that he wouldn't accidentally roll over her in his sleep and he felt a strong need to have her close right now and to be able to take care of her the second she woke up and needed something.

There was a soft knock on his door and he looked up as the door opened. Blair stepped inside, smiling almost nervously, wringing her hands.

"Hey" he said softly.

"Hi" Blair replied. "How is she?"

"Sleeping like an angel" Chuck said. "The fever hasn't returned. She has coughed a little but I think she's better than she was earlier today."

"I'm relieved" Blair smiled.

"I see you didn't bring Nate."

"Yeah, we…" She looked away for a second, not entirely comfortable with the subject. "It's been a long day."

"I don't think I'll ever hear the end of this from him" Chuck said with a little laugh. "Chuck Bass freaking out over a cough and a touch of fever." Then his smile faded. "Then again he doesn't exactly rib me the way he used to…"

Blair walked closer and stopped by the bed. She looked down at the baby and felt herself welling up.

"Hey…" Chuck said. "It's okay Blair. She's alright."

"I know" Blair sniveled. "It's just… I never wanted her to have to get sick and I hate the fact that she has a fever, no matter how mild."

Chuck couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"No doubt your vision for her future entailed her never getting sick at all and never hurting herself on anything."

"Is that such a horrible vision?"

"No but it's unusually unrealistic even for you" Chuck smiled. "She's going to be fine Blair, don't worry."

"I know… I'm just having a bit of a hard time knowing I have to leave and she stays and it's the first time she ever has a fever."

Chuck said nothing, knowing exactly what she was implying but annoyed that he felt like he was being emotionally manipulated. He knew better than anyone what it was like to miss milestones in your child's life, whether they were positive ones or negative ones. He sympathized with Blair completely and wouldn't have wanted to be on her end of the situation. But he would have preferred it if she flat out asked him if she wanted to stay or take Grace back home with her rather than play on his emotions to get him to make a suggestion.

"You know…" he said. "There's room for one more."

Blair made a feeble attempt at wiping away the tears that had fallen and carefully got up on the bed. She lay down on her side, resting her face against the back of her hands, just a few inches away from Grace.

"My poor little sweetheart…" she said.

"Be happy she's asleep" Chuck said. "Hopefully she will feel a lot better once she wakes back up."

"I hope so."

She reached out to stroke Grace's hair and accidentally brushed her hand against Chuck's. He froze and then pulled his hand away from the baby.

"What?" Blair asked.

"Nothing" he said and rolled over on his back, turning his head to keep looking at the baby. "How does her forehead feel?"

Blair rested the back of her hand against Grace's forehead.

"Normal."

"Good. With any luck her fever won't return."

"I feel silly but I was really scared today" Blair said.

"We both were. Can you imagine how much we will freak when she gets chickenpox?"

"Grace is not getting chickenpox" Blair said firmly. "She's having that shot around her birthday along with measles, hepatitis A-"

"Alright, alright" Chuck said with a smile. "Too bad there's no vaccine for the common cold or today's drama could have been avoided."

"Rhinovirus."

"What?"

"Rhinovirus. It's what causes the common cold."

"Did you have a microbiology exam recently or have you gone completely anal?"

"I picked it up from an episode of '_House_'."

He rolled back on his side and started caressing the baby again, sticking to stroking her legs to avoid touching Blair. He had felt a touch of electricity between them at their brief contact and they couldn't have that now. She was with Nate and they couldn't complicate things with a baby involved.

"Nate asked me to move in with him" Blair said.

"What?"

"He wants us to live together."

Chuck was silent for a moment, wondering how to react to this. He hated the idea of Blair living with Nate but more than that he hated the idea of Grace living with Nate.

"I can't tell you what to do…" he said. "But don't you think uprooting Grace like that might be a touch… hasty?"

"She would be uprooted this fall anyway when I go to Yale" Blair said, hoping the mentioning of Yale wouldn't trigger an argument.

"So you're going to live with Nate on Manhattan and commute to New Haven? You know he's going to Columbia, right?"

"I haven't told Nate yes yet" Blair said. "I haven't made up my mind. It all came… very sudden."

"You know what this is about, don't you?" Chuck said.

"It's about Nate and me building a future together" Blair said but she didn't sound too convinced.

"It's about Nate marking his territory."

"It is not" Blair frowned. "Forget I said anything. I don't want to talk about it."

They kept silent for a few minutes, both focusing their attention on Grace who was sleeping soundly. Then Chuck decided to breach a subject he had been thinking about for the past few weeks.

"Summer is coming" he said. "Grace's first. Before I found out about you and Archibald I was going to make a suggestion for the summer but then I wasn't sure… I don't think Nate would be too excited."

"What is it?"

"Since it's Grace's first summer I think she should get to spend it someplace better than a hot, smelly, tourist-packed Manhattan. I was going to go stay at the house in the Hamptons and ask you if you wanted to come out there too. I thought it could be nice, the both of us living there for the summer with Grace. Nate was never part of the plan but… I've decided to keep my offer on the table and extend it to both you and Nathaniel if he should wish to join us there."

"Would _you_ really want to spend the summer there with Nate?"

"It has been lonely without him" Chuck admitted. "He was my best friend all my life until last year. It's not the best of circumstances but… I can put up with it for a summer if I get to see you and Grace every day. Maybe you've been right. Maybe all of us would benefit from Nate and I calling a truce."

"Wow" Blair said, a hint of a smile on her lips. "You've decided to try and call a truce with him? For Grace?"

"And for you." He looked down at his hand, stroking the baby. He couldn't look at Blair. "I… I want you to be happy. If being with Nate makes you happy… then I don't want to cause disturbance to that."

"Chuck it's all so complicated" Blair said.

"No it's simple" Chuck said.

"Chuck look at me."

He reluctantly looked up and she wished she could tell what he was thinking just from looking at him.

"You and I… Everything has been complicated. Right from the start. Last year while I didn't know what I felt or who I felt it for. Then I thought I knew what I wanted but I was afraid to trust it. And I don't know what _you_ want."

"Blair please don't do this" he pleaded. "Not now. You're with Nate… Not because you thought you couldn't have me. But because you know you aren't supposed to be with me. We share a child and it has made us confuse our common interest in her with something going on between the two of us."

"Being her parents is the most important thing we are" Blair said. "But it's not the only thing we are."

"But it is" Chuck argued in a whisper. "Let's not talk about this any further. I'm exhausted and I could use some sleep. You can stay the night if you wish. I know it's difficult for you to leave her right now. In the morning… you will go back to Nate. Ask him about this summer and see what he thinks. I would like a chance to spend all summer with Grace. Especially if I don't get to be with her in the fall."

With a heavy sigh he closed his eyes. He felt caught between a rock and a hard place, wanting so much to be with Blair but doubting his own ability to make her happy. Everything he did seemed to have the opposite effect on her. During the fall he had made her unhappy by his inability to connect with Grace and now that he did feel connected to her he was making Blair miserable by getting in the way of her dream of Yale. He wasn't good for her. She deserved better, someone like Nate. Nate, for all his faults, at least seemed to know how to make a woman happy. Or at least how to not make her miserable.

Grace sneezed and he opened his eyes again, looking over at her.

"Just a sneeze" Blair said softly.

"Bless you" Chuck said to the baby.

"Thanks for letting me stay the night."

"Sure. I hope Nate won't mind."

"I don't care if he does."

Chuck closed his eyes again. Blair studied him in silence.

"Chuck…" she said after a few minutes. "Are you still awake?"

Reluctantly he opened one eye.

"Yeah."

"I think we should pull ourselves together a bit" she said. "I'm starving. We both need to eat. We need to get the little princess to eat something as well. What do you say we order in some food, then wait for her to wake up so we can feed her and then all three of us get ready for bed? I know it will be an early night for you and me but I'm exhausted and I know you are too, and I'm not so sure Grace will sleep quietly through the night."

"I don't like leaving her alone" Chuck said. "Even if we're just in the next room. I hate the thought of her waking up all by herself when she's sick."

"As long as we're nearby and can come in here the minute we hear she's awake I don't think it's a problem" Blair said. "But if you want I can order in the food… Are you in the mood for anything in particular?"

"No, you order whatever you want" Chuck said. "I'm not all that hungry."

"You're eating Bass" Blair said, carefully getting up from the bed.

She left the room to make the call. Chuck nuzzled closer to Grace and carefully rubbed her arm.

"Being sick sucks, huh?" he said. "We're going to focus on getting you better. You hear? You'll be back to drooling on my scarf and playing with your stuffed animals in no time."

He waited with her until Blair came back from ordering the food. They didn't say much to each other. Chuck felt too awkward and Blair seemed to know it was not the time for conversation.

They ended up eating their dinner on the floor of Chuck's room, Blair good-naturedly teasing him about being such a softie regarding his daughter. Chuck was still eating but Blair had finished her meal when Grace woke up. She got up and lifted the baby up in her embrace, gently rocking her back and forth.

"Hi sweetheart" she said. "Good to see you awake. Are you happy to see Mommy here?"

"How's her forehead feeling?" Chuck asked.

"She's a little warm" Blair said. "Not too bad though."

"She fusses" Chuck frowned.

"She has a cold" Blair pointed out. "Her first one. Grace sweetheart what do you say Mommy fixes you up with some dinner, huh? You need to eat something to stay strong."

"Try feeding her that apple porridge" Chuck said. "We should get something at least semi-solid in her. Something with fruit so she'll be more inclined to eat it. If she stays awake for a while we could give her a bottle before she-"

"Charles" Blair said. "Finish your dinner. You're cute when you're this concerned but I can figure these things out on my own."

"I'm done with dinner" Chuck said, tossing his fork aside.

"No you're not. Since when do you not clean your plate?"

"Not hungry."

"Chuck… Finish eating then join us out in the kitchen. You'll miss what, ten minutes?"

"I can hold her while you prepare her food."

"I can get it done on my own. Finish your dinner or Mommy will ground you."

He smiled crookedly and obediently picked up his fork again. Blair walked out to the kitchen and positioned Grace on her hip so that she could carry her comfortably and still have a hand free.

"Let's see then sweetie, what would you like to eat for dinner?" she said. "Should we go with what Daddy suggested? Would you like some apple porridge?"

She kept talking to the baby while she prepared her dinner. Grace was fussy and in a bad mood and Blair wondered if she would be able to get her to eat anything at all. When Blair herself was sick her appetite was practically non-existent and Chuck hadn't been able to get Grace to eat lunch. After a while Chuck came with their dishes and trash and took the baby so Blair could have both her hands free.

"Poor little child" he said. "Didn't sign up for this when you were conceived, did you?"

"If you think this is bad wait until you get the stomach flu" Blair sighed. "If there's one illness I wish she could be spared…"

"Let's not talk about _stomach flu_ right now" Chuck said, making a face. "Hey why don't I sit with Grace on my lap and you can feed her? She'd probably be happier with some body contact rather than having to sit in the chair."

"You are such a little sap" Blair said with a small smile. "Fine, take a seat with her."

As Blair had predicted Grace wasn't too keen on eating anything. Not until the porridge had gotten cold did they manage to get her to eat half a serving. Two hours later they managed to get her to drink a bottle of milk and then they got her ready for bed.

"Can you believe what a long day this has been?" Blair asked wearily, coming in from Serena's room where she had borrowed a nightgown.

"I know it's early but I'm definitely ready to go to sleep" Chuck said, trying to remove the bedspread while holding the baby.

"So is our little princess" Blair said, taking the baby from him. "She's not as fussy right now, that's a good sign, right?"

"We gave her more ibuprofen" Chuck pointed out.

"I hate putting her down in her crib" Blair said.

"I was going to let her sleep in my bed."

"Cute" Blair said. "Don't think you'll fit in the crib though."

"She's old enough to sleep with her parents in their bed" Chuck said. "Just for one night. She should feel that one of us is close."

"I suppose" Blair said.

"You're welcome to sleep here too" Chuck said. "Instead of in Serena's bed. You can trust that it's not a lame come-on since there will be an infant sleeping in-between us."

Blair couldn't help but chuckle.

"I should hope Chuck Bass had more refined techniques than that if he wanted to get a girl in bed for more than just sleep."

"You know from experience."

She blushed and looked away, walking over to the crib to pick up a plushie.

"I'll take you up on the offer. It sounds kind of nice. Grace having the both of us there when she wakes up."

"Good" Chuck said. "I'm going to go put on my PJs. I'll be right back."

He walked out of the room and Blair looked down at the baby. Grace was still awake but looked sleepy.

"What a busy day for you, little girl" she said. "Having to go to the hospital and everything. God I can't wait for this day to be over. Daddy's so nice for inviting me to stay. You'll like having us both here when you wake up again, won't you? Yeah, you like it best when both Daddy and me are around, isn't that right? You look so tired. Are you ready to go to sleep? Should Mommy sing you a song?"

She sat down on the edge of the bed and began to sing a lullaby. Chuck returned right as she came to the end of the song. She smiled up at him. Grace had gone to sleep and she gently laid her down in the middle of the bed.

"Little sleepy-head went out like a light almost instantly" she said.

"Good. She needs her rest."

He remained standing by the door. Blair smiled awkwardly and looked down at her hands. The situation was both natural and weird at the same time. She could think of few things that made more sense than for two parents to spend the night together with their sick child. For that matter she could think of few things that made more sense than her and Chuck sleeping in the same bed. Though not under these circumstances. Not while she was with Nate.

"Chuck…" she said. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"About what?" he asked, leaning against the door.

"About Nate and me. About you and me. You don't have to say a word but it would mean a lot if you listened."

He looked like he most of all wanted to just run away. But he remained by the door, nervously waiting for her to say what was on her mind.

"I don't remember if I've ever apologized to you."

"For what?"

"For being a bitch to you while I was pregnant. For being a bitch to you while I was all hormonal after Grace's birth."

"I recall saying some less than nice things to you too" Chuck said uncomfortably. "No big deal Blair."

"No it is a big deal" Blair said, gently running a hand up and down Grace's back. "I was scared out of my mind when I was pregnant. I was terrified that I would be an awful mother, petrified that none of my dreams would come true, frightened of… of everything."

"Understandable."

"I behaved horribly" Blair said. "I treated you like you were a sperm donor at best."

"I didn't feel that way."

"I made no secret of the fact that I hoped Nate was the baby's father. The crazy thing is… The crazy thing is I don't know if I actually wanted that. I was desperate to still get _something_ I had planned for, you know? A family with Nate was something I had counted on. I was wrong to keep talking about Nate while planning a baby with you."

"Blair I know where you're going with this and you don't have to" Chuck said. "We both made mistakes. You made most of yours while you were pregnant and when Grace was a newborn. I started making mine the day she was born and I'm not sure I have stopped yet. Let's not dwell on the past."

"Last year I must have made you feel horrible with the way I talked about Nate" Blair said. "Now I'm _with_ Nate. I think part of your adverse reaction to him being around Gracie a lot comes from that."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I just wanted you to know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I behaved last year and I'm sorry if I'm hurting you now by being with Nate."

Chuck said nothing. He looked at Grace for what seemed like forever, wishing he could just disappear from the face of the earth for a while. He didn't want to hear another word about Blair and Nate. He didn't want to have to be back in this situation. He didn't want to love Blair this much and be unable to make her happy. Right now he didn't even want to be in the same room as her. He needed a break.

"This was a bad idea" he said. "Nate's going to get upset when he finds out. I'll sleep in the guest room."

"What?" Blair said. "Don't be silly."

He walked to the bed and leaned over the baby to kiss her on the head.

"If she wakes up in the night would you please tell her I'm really close by? And perhaps come and wake me too?"

"Chuck it's no problem, we can both sleep here."

"No, I should go" Chuck said.

Blair looked down at the baby and wanted nothing more than to be right next to her every minute until she felt better. She then looked up at Chuck who was grabbing his robe from the closet. Gathering her willpower and moving fast before she could change her mind she gave Grace a big kiss and then got up, walking to the door.

"Where are you going?" Chuck asked with a frown.

"It's your room" she said. "Wake me if she wakes up in the night, okay?"

She walked out before he could respond. A tear fell down her cheek and she stopped to take a deep breath before going to Serena's room. It violated every instinct she had to leave the baby right now but she knew Chuck felt something similar. This was still his night with her, this was his home and while she had done a lot she couldn't make up to him she could give him this.

More tears came and she allowed herself to sob out in the hallway for a moment before gathering her wits. She was supposed to have slept at her own place or at Nate's tonight. At least she got to sleep in Serena's room, just a few meters away from Grace. And Chuck would come get her if the baby woke up during the night.

Wiping away the tears she knocked on Serena's door and entered the room.

* * *

I'm still not able to reply to reviews and it's incredibly annoying. If nothing's changed before the weekend I'll start replying to everyone via PM instead. I promise I'll get that done before I post another update.

On a more random note I added a little Leighton Meester reference in this chapter. Pinpoint what it was and you win an imaginary cookie ;)

Thank you for reading and please let me know what you thought.


	44. Chapter 44

Phew! I finally got around to replying to all the reviews I've gotten since stopped allowing me to r-r. I apologize to my loyal reviewers for spamming your inboxes and I apologize to anyone whose review I might have missed replying to.

The LM reference in the last chapter was indeed about "House". She guest-starred on two episodes (3rd and 4th of season three if memory serves) and had a rhinovirus (common cold). A guest spot which spawned one of my all-time favorite House quotes – "You can't stop our love!" But I digress.

Here's the new chapter and I hope it will be a fun read.

* * *

"This is so not how I thought the end of high school would be" Serena sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

"High school doesn't end for another three weeks" Blair objected.

Serena shrugged. They were on Blair's bed, having nothing better to do than stare at the ceiling and contemplate their lives. Grace was napping, Nate was playing lacrosse and Serena had decided to dump her latest boyfriend Gabriel because she felt she had too much on her plate as it was without adding a relationship. Right now though she had nothing at all to do and was feeling a bit restless.

A series of coughs came from the crib and Grace started to cry. Blair got up and walked over to lift her up. She was almost back to perfect health again but she still had a bit of a cough lingering from her cold.

"She's not getting enough sleep" Blair said with a concerned frown, cradling the baby in her arms. "Whenever I put her down in her crib she starts to cough. And then she wakes up coughing, like now."

"Let her nap more often then" Serena shrugged.

"I'm worried she might have bronchitis or pneumonia or something."

"If she did I'm sure she'd have more symptoms than just a cough" Serena said. "I always cough for days after having a cold. She'll get better soon."

"I hope so" Blair said, gently rocking the baby. "It's okay honey… Here, come look at what Mommy bought you today. Look at this! A brand new toothbrush."

She gave the new toothbrush still in its pack to Grace and the baby took it, studying it for a second before putting it in her mouth.

"I'm actually going to miss her when I go to Brown" Serena said, lifting herself up on her elbows.

"I'm sure she'll miss you too" Blair said even though she didn't think Serena's presence mattered much to Grace.

"I confess I find her to be a royal pain at times" Serena continued. "But I hate the thought of not being around to watch her grow."

"You're going to college, not to war" Blair said with rolling eyes. "You'll be around to watch her grow up."

"No I meant seeing her grow from week to week. When I come back to see her at Christmas she'll probably be walking and talking."

"She already is talking" Blair claimed.

"I heard you turned down Nate's offer of living together."

"We're not ready for a step like that" Blair said, sitting down on the bed with a now calm Grace. "Besides we'll be going to different schools in different cities. What's the point of officially living together when you're actually only spending a few nights a week together? Besides, it will be confusing enough for Grace to have a new home in New Haven and a new place here in New York."

"If you end up going to Yale."

Blair shot her a look but said nothing. She reached out for a pacifier on the nightstand and gave it to Grace since the one she'd had in her mouth when she went to sleep had fallen out when she coughed. The baby pulled the toothbrush pack out of her mouth and took the pacifier instead though kept a firm grip on the pack.

"What do you say kiddo?" Blair asked. "Would you have liked to live with Nate?"

"Buhmeh" Grace said, the pacifier falling out again.

"I wonder what words she's trying to say when she makes some of those noises" Serena mused as Blair picked the pacifier up from her lap and gave it back to the child. "Some really do sound like words and other are just gibberish."

"Bringing the topic back to high school ending…" Blair said. "Prom is coming up. I could not be more relieved to have a date. Getting back together with Nate has done wonders for my social status at school."

"High school really is a moronic place" Serena sighed. "I don't have a date. Why did I dump Gabriel now? I could have waited until after prom."

"If you ask me you should have dumped him before you married him" Blair commented dryly and made kissing noises at Grace.

"I think you're just jealous I beat you to the altar" Serena teased. "Miss Had A Baby Out Of Wedlock."

"I would have been jealous if you hadn't married a Southerner" Blair said. "My child deserves better than a stepfather from the south."

"Like a stepfather from the Upper East Side? You know, we've never had a conversation about you and Nate being back together and I have to tell you it surprised me."

"I know, it surprised me too."

"Don't take this the wrong way B but starting a relationship with another man just over six months after having my stepbrother's baby…"

"What are you trying to imply Serena?" Blair asked with a frown.

"Nothing, I just… I'm questioning the timing of everything, that's all."

"It sounded to me like you were implying that I'm trashy."

Serena said nothing and studied her nails. Blair let out an offended snort.

"Serena it is not like that. Nate and I were together for years before!"

"I feel bad for Chuck" Serena said, deciding she might as well be perfectly honest. "First he lost his father, now you want to take his child to a different state _and_ you've begun to date his ex-best friend again which is insulting in like three different ways."

"It is not."

"It is B. Nate wasn't there for you at all when you were pregnant. Chuck was. Yet you deny Chuck's romantic advances and take Nate back."

"Romantic advances? That is-"

"You shouldn't even have time for guys right now; I would have thought being the mother of an infant would take up far too much of your time for you to invest in a relationship unless we're talking a relationship with the father of the child. In addition you're letting Nate play a part in Grace's life, a part he hasn't earned."

"Wow, I can't believe you're saying these things to me" Blair said.

"Chuck is my brother now B. He sleeps across the hall from me. I'm not blind, I see what all this is doing to him."

"So what are you saying? I can't date anymore?"

"Why does it have to be now?" Serena asked as gently as she could. "Why does it have to be Nate?"

"Why does it make a difference to Chuck who I date?"

"Come on Blair you know how Chuck feels about you."

Blair's eyes left Serena's and went to the baby. She rose and walked over to the crib, lifting up the balled-up scarf and handing it to the child. Grace dropped the toothbrush pack and took the scarf instead.

"So what S?" Blair finally said. "Him and I… I don't know if we can work. If we're even meant to. It seems whenever we're about to move forward something comes in our way. This could be fate telling me I'm meant for Nate."

"I don't think fate would have given you a child by Chuck if that were the case."

Blair didn't reply. She studied her baby who was now cheerfully making all sorts of sounds while shaking the scarf-ball.

"But what do I know?" Serena said after a few minutes. "I can't follow your line of thinking anymore and it's been a long time since I had any real clue what was in your heart. Maybe I just thought I saw you caring about Chuck when you were just looking at him as a friend and as Grace's father."

"I love him Serena" Blair said, not sure why she was admitting it.

"Wait, what?" Serena said. "You…"

"What is the big deal?" Blair said. "You've been implying that I do for ages."

"I thought you were infatuated, I didn't know your feelings were _that_ deep."

"Well they are, okay?" Blair said, focusing her eyes on Grace because it felt too awkward to look at her best friend in this moment.

"Oh my God…" Serena said. "But Blair why then are you with Nate? Do you feel as strongly about him?"

"I don't know" Blair said. "I used to love him and I still care about him and… God S, it's all so confusing. I want my future back, the one I always planned for. A future with Nate and Yale and happy children."

"Those happy children were Nate's, not Chuck's" Serena pointed out.

"So?" Blair said. "My mother is marrying Cyrus this summer. Lily has been married more times than a Mormon. Everybody has stepparents."

"Blair you can't be with Nate if you love Chuck" Serena emphasized.

"Well you know what, love is not as simple in real life as it is in books or in the movies." Blair said, getting irritated. "I don't know what Chuck feels for me and frankly I'm not sure it matters because he's not ready to be in a relationship. I need to let go of my fantasies about Chuck and start facing reality."

"No Blair you need to let go of your old dreams for the future because they're not going to come true" Serena said. "Not the way you envisioned them. You might have Yale. You have a beautiful baby girl and you might end up having half a dozen more children but Grace is not Nate's daughter she is Chuck's. You wanted a future with Nate because you were in love with him but you love Chuck now and I can't think of anything that makes more sense than for the two of you to be together and raise Grace and why not do it in New Haven for the next four years? If you were together Chuck would go anywhere with you."

"I can't allow myself to believe that" Blair said. "I've let myself get caught up in my daydreams far too many times this past year and every time I've been disappointed. What difference does it make if Chuck loves me when he's not ready to be a boyfriend? What's to say he would go with me to New Haven if he was? He's not considering going there for Grace."

"No, because right now Grace is all that he has and he wants to keep her here. If you were together he would be thinking differently. If he lets you take the baby to New Haven now he has to go without her for several days a week. If he moves there with you he would be in his own apartment having no bonus in being there that he couldn't have had if Grace had stayed in the city. If you guys are dating he would be living there _with_ you, getting to be with his girlfriend. It's all the difference."

"And it's all a fairytale. Things aren't as easy as you make it seem."

"Dating Nate instead is not the answer" Serena pointed out. "It's unfair to everyone, including your daughter."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do Serena."

"If I were you I'd think about what's best for the baby" Serena said. "If you felt Nate was the one then I would be all for you dating him. But if you don't, if you love Chuck more, then this thing with Nate is either going to have an expiration date or you're going to end up miserable. Chuck will be miserable too and probably Grace as well in the long run. I know you don't want that."

Blair swallowed. Grace looked up at her with a piece of the scarf stuck in her mouth.

"I don't want to be alone" she said. "I'm afraid of having to raise my daughter by myself. I mean I know Chuck and I will be doing it together but I'd still be a single parent."

"So what if you are?" Serena said softly. "Chuck might be more ready than you think. If he's not then what's so bad about being on your own and focusing on Grace until you can move forward with the guy you actually want? I don't think you want to teach Grace that she should settle."

"No of course I don't."

"Then you need to end things with Nate" Serena said. "For everyone's sake."

Blair nodded absentmindedly and caressed her baby's head. What Serena said made a lot of sense but she couldn't make her understand what she was really afraid of. She hated not knowing what was going to happen and the thought of her future being nothing but blank pages frightened her. She needed something to hold on to, something she could know for sure and count on for the fall. She had thought it would be Yale but it was so uncertain. Maybe it was wrong to be with Nate now but it was the one thing aside from the baby that had made her feel good in the past month. She wasn't sure she was ready to put an end to it.

She gave Grace a kiss on the head and sat down with her on the floor, reaching for some toys. At least she could count on one thing and that was the fact that she would still be a mother in the fall. She would always have her baby, no matter what. Perhaps Serena was right and staying with Nate under these circumstances would be damaging to Grace in the long run. Perhaps Grace could be the constant in her life, the one thing she knew was certain.

* * *

It was Monday afternoon. Chuck was sitting on the couch with Grace, rocking her to sleep for her nap. It wasn't actually his day to have her but Blair had asked him at school if he could take her for a few hours that afternoon and he had only been happy to oblige. She hadn't specified why she needed someone to look after the baby and he hadn't asked. They had agreed that he would pick Grace up and later on Eleanor would come by to get her, their first breach of the no-middle-hands rule.

"You know, she never told me if she said yes or no to moving in with Nate" he said to the baby. "I suppose she's probably out looking at apartments with him. Why does the thought of that have to hurt so much?"

Grace made a noise as if in response and he kissed the top of her head, holding her close. He was so tired of feeling down over something. First his father dying, now Blair being with Nate and the idea of Grace possibly moving to a different state in the fall. He felt better when he was with the baby but he couldn't remember the last time he had felt genuinely happy for an entire day.

"What do you think Grace, should I be fighting for her instead of just sitting around feeling sorry for myself?" He sighed. "Honestly I… don't know _how_ to fight for her. Not in a way that would actually help. I tried fighting for her once, the way I know how, and that only lead to her leaving me and rushing to Nathaniel. You existed back then but none of us knew it. Now you're here and I'm not sure it's a good thing for me to fight for her the way my instincts are telling me when you might end up caught in the middle."

Grace yawned. He sighed again and gave her hand a kiss. She had no answers to offer. He didn't know if he actually believed she might get caught in the middle if he tried to fight for Blair. He just knew he was too afraid to make a move. If Blair had been merely considering dating Nate again perhaps he could have put up a fight but as things were she was already with him. The fight had been lost before he even knew it was going on. And he was petrified of exposing his true feelings to her and being shot down. It didn't help matters either that he wasn't sure what he would do if she did leave Nate for him. Was he ready to be in a real relationship? Would he be able to make it worth her while?

"She'll move in with Nate…" he said. "Somehow she'll probably manage to get her way and go to Yale with you as well… I'll only get to see you during the weekends and probably not even the _entire_ weekend since surely you'll end up spending part of your weekends with them. Right now all I really care about is getting to spend enough time with you that you will know I am your father, not Nate the nincompoop."

He looked up when the elevator rang. In true speak of the devil fashion Nate came walking off. Chuck rose with a confused frown.

"Blair sent you to pick up Grace?" he asked. "I thought Eleanor was coming."

"No, Blair did not send me" Nate said. "I came because I wanted to talk."

"Alright" Chuck said, wondering to himself what he had done now. "Grace is almost asleep. Do you mind waiting for a few minutes while I go put her down?"

"No, that's fine."

Nate took a seat and Chuck walked to his room. He was curious as to why Nate was there and even more curious what Blair was up to and why she had needed him to take care of Grace if she wasn't doing something with her boyfriend.

He walked around with the baby for a few minutes, waiting for her to drift off. Once she was asleep he put her down in the crib and switched the baby monitor on. Grabbing the other half of the monitor he walked back out to his former best friend.

"So what's up?" he asked.

"I was just… wondering if you hate the way things are as much as I do" Nate said.

Chuck frowned and took a seat on the couch opposite the one Nate was sitting on.

"What do you mean?"

"You and me… I've been so angry for so long, felt so betrayed… When I found out you had actual feelings for Blair that put everything in a different light but unfortunately I found it out when Blair and I had gotten back together. So knowing you're in love with her complicated things."

"Yeah but…" Chuck said, "you have her. She chose you both times. She dumped me for you at cotillion and this year she could have had me but she chose you instead. I'm not apologetic of my feelings for her but they're hardly any threat to you."

"I'm not here to discuss Blair" Nate said.

"Okay."

"I don't know how I feel now regarding our friendship" Nate said, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know if it can be salvaged. If it even should be. But I do I miss my best friend. This year has been so tough for me. True I didn't become a father like you did but honestly you don't know how hard it's been seeing her pregnant with what I had a strong feeling was your child and seeing the two of you come together over the baby. It was like… losing you both to each other. Then this whole mess with my father… It's nowhere near as bad as what you've been through with yours but it's been pretty tough nonetheless. I mean we had our assets frozen for a while and now my dad is in prison."

"I'm sorry" Chuck offered.

"I often wished I could have turned to you during all of that" Nate said.

"You could have" Chuck said. "You chose not to."

Nate contemplated that in silence. Chuck wished he could think of something to say but he drew blank. He had missed Nate too but he was also mad at him, feeling that he had been punished far too harshly and for far too long. True he couldn't understand how it must have felt for Nate to stand on the sidelines as Chuck and Blair took care of their daughter but he didn't think he deserved to be painted as the villain either.

"I could have used a friend too this past year" he finally said.

"I know" Nate said. "When Bart died I thought about calling you or stopping by to see you but I didn't know what to say. You and I had barely spoken in a year, I mean…"

Chuck nodded. He hadn't meant just when Bart died but he chose not to comment. He had felt in dire need of a friend countless times when he wasn't sure what was happening between himself and Blair, and when he didn't know what to do with his parenthood. Even he had to admit though that if him and Nate had been friends again at that point those subjects would hardly be appropriate to discuss with him.

"It is what it is" he said. "We've been friends. Now we're not."

"Since I got back together with Blair it seems like we could have started to move towards being friends again" Nate said. "We haven't and I acknowledge my part in it. I've been insecure about your connection to her. I lost her to you once before."

"Except you never did" Chuck said. "The two of you were broken up."

"Either way… Look, all I'm trying to say is I'm sorry for being a bit of a jerk and while I don't know if you and I will ever be friends again I was hoping we could no longer be enemies."

"I have no vendetta against you."

"Who knows? Maybe as time goes by we'll start hanging out again."

Nate rose and walked to the elevator. Chuck got up slowly.

"We called a truce when you and Blair started dating again" he said. "I suppose we never really enforced it. I agree we should do so now. It's better for my daughter if you and I try to get along. Better for Blair."

"Actually…" Nate said "I didn't come here to call a truce in the interest of my relationship with Blair. I'm here only for me. Blair and I broke up an hour ago."

Chuck frowned.

"What?"

"She broke up with me."

Chuck stared blankly at him. The news was more than a little surprising.

"For what it's worth…" Nate continued. "I'm fairly sure the reason she ended things with me was more than just us outgrowing each other, which is the reason she gave me. Something in her eyes, the things she said… From one friend to another I think there's someone else she cares about more than me and I think you and I both know who that guy is."

He stepped on the elevator and left while Chuck just stood there, trying to wrap his mind around the news. He couldn't help but feel incredibly relieved hearing that Nate was out of the picture.

He sat down on the couch, leaned his head back and exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. Blair and Nate were over. Hopefully for good this time. Which also meant Chuck no longer had to worry that his daughter would come to view Nate as a father.

A smile spread across his face. He knew it was wrong to smile over something like that but he couldn't help himself. Maybe he wouldn't end up with Blair any time soon, or ever. But at least for right now he wouldn't have to watch her with someone else. At least for right now he was the only father Grace knew.

* * *

Blair walked into her room carrying shopping bags which she set down on the floor with a huff. Retail therapy had proved ineffective today. Things were over between herself and Nate and now she was once again driving down an unknown road. It was all too depressing and not even Dolce and Gabana seemed able to do anything about it.

She heard the sound of her mother's voice coming from the bathroom. Dorota had said Eleanor had gone upstairs with the baby. A glance at the clock told Blair she must have picked Grace up around an hour ago. She was surprised that Chuck had agreed to letting Eleanor pick the baby up but her mother had insisted she get to do it and Blair hadn't wanted to argue.

She walked into the bathroom where her mother had Grace on the changing table. Also on the table was a tape measure which Grace had a hold of and was sucking on a part of. Eleanor was cooing to the baby and talking to her about all sorts of things. Blair walked over with an eyebrow raised.

"Mother are you not feeling well?" she asked. "Since when do you change diapers when Dorota is in the house?"

"It's been a while since I got to spend some alone time with my granddaughter" Eleanor said, putting Grace's clothes back on. "She was helping Grandma' work, weren't you sweetheart? Yes she was."

"Ah, thus the tape measure."

Eleanor finished dressing Grace and lifted her up, walking back out to Blair's room. She noticed the shopping bags and turned to her daughter with an eyebrow raised.

"Don't tell me you needed Charles to look after Grace so that you could go shopping" she said dryly.

"Please Mother, you know I take Grace shopping regularly" Blair said. She hesitated before continuing. "I broke up with Nate."

"About time" Eleanor said. "You need to spend your time with my granddaughter and not running around with boys."

"Can I have at least a bit of sympathy?" Blair sulked. "You know I've always cared about Nate. It wasn't easy to break up with him."

"What you need is to get him out of your system" Eleanor said. "Start by getting rid of the things he's given you so you don't have to look at it all the time. Then remind yourself that there are more important things in the world than boys."

"Very subtle Mother" Blair said and took the baby. "You do have a point though. I would feel better without any reminders of Nate and the life I once thought I wanted."

She sat down on the floor and opened a drawer where she had put many of the gifts Nate had given her, fishing out a CD, a perfume bottle and a framed picture. She sat Grace down next to her. The baby sat very wobbly leaning against a large pillow Blair had placed in front of her dresser. She grabbed a hold of the perfume bottle and tried to put it in her mouth.

"Sweetie don't do that" Blair frowned.

"There's no harm" Eleanor shrugged. "Just keep her from getting the cap open."

"I don't believe there are locks or lids or things babies can't get open" Blair said. "I only believe it might take babies a bit longer to do it."

"I'll go tell Dorota to bring you a box" Eleanor said, leaving the room.

"Grace Mommy said don't touch that" Blair said, taking the perfume bottle from the baby which was not well received. "Okay fine. Just don't put it in your mouth."

Grace put the bottle right back in her mouth but at least it was the end without the cap on it. Blair went back to what she had been doing, glancing over at the baby every five seconds to make sure she didn't do anything she shouldn't. Even so Grace managed to get the cap of the bottle. She had put it down in front of her and when she yanked the cap off the bottle tipped towards her and the contents spilled out. Grace's jaw fell and then she started crying.

"Oh God" Blair said, leaping to her feet and lifting the baby up. "Damn it, now this place will stink for days!"

"What is that smell?" Chuck said, walking in with a disgusted look on his face.

"Grace spilled my perfume" Blair said.

"That's why she's crying? No wonder. I would like to join her thanks to how thick this smell is" Chuck said.

"We're going to have to sleep in the nursery and it's not even finished yet" Blair complained, carrying the baby inside the bathroom to give her a bath.

"Why would you let the baby get anywhere near something that smells of white musk?" Chuck asked, following her.

"Bass don't start with me, I've had a really awful day."

Chuck nodded slightly, knowing not to push his luck. He stopped by the door and watched Blair undress the baby and put her in the bathtub.

"Bass make yourself useful and go clean up the mess in my room" Blair said, unbuttoning her blouse to not get it wet while she showered the baby.

"I'm not Dorota."

"Then go get her at least!"

Rolling his eyes Chuck grabbed a couple of towels and left the bathroom, figuring this was just as much about Blair feeling undressed as it was about her worrying about the smell. He knelt on the floor and soaked up as much of the perfume as possible, feeling nauseous from the thick smell. He hated white musk. The fact that it was one of Nate's favorite scents on a woman didn't make him like it any better, especially when his child had practically taken a bath in it.

Eventually Blair came back with Grace wrapped in a towel and no longer crying. Chuck, aided by Dorota, had done is best to clean up the perfume but the smell was still filling the room.

"Let me just get her a change of clothes, then we can go to the next room" Blair said with a wrinkled nose.

"I hope Grace doesn't smell as bad anymore."

"She's going to smell of white musk all day long."

She got some clothes for the baby and walked through the bathroom to the nursery, Chuck in tow. There she sat Grace down on the changing table she had made sure to get installed and proceeded to get her dressed.

"Why are you here Bass?" she asked. "Did Grace leave something behind earlier?"

"No but I couldn't find my scarf and I figure you'd stolen it."

"You mean Grace's scarf" Blair said with a smirk, buttoning the baby's blouse.

"It occurred to me on the way over… There's one conversation we've never really had. A rather important one."

"And that would be?" Blair asked, lifting Grace up and walking over to have a seat on the couch.

"Stepparents" Chuck said, sitting down on the floor.

"Stepparents?"

"She'll get them, won't she? Maybe if we had talked about it sooner this whole thing with Nate wouldn't have floored me the way it did."

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself."

"I haven't wanted to think about it at all" Chuck continued. "I suppose I never really gave _any_ thought to the idea of Grace having stepparents. I just always assumed…"

He drifted off and Blair looked up at him, at the edge of her seat to hear how that sentence ended.

"Always assumed what?"

"I just assumed things would stay the same, you know? As always I was living in the moment and you were looking to the future. It's ridiculous. Of course we're not going to spend the rest of our lives like this."

"Of course not" Blair said, disappointed that he hadn't been alluding to something else.

"I don't want things to change and for her to have a stepfather but let's be realistic, that will happen. How can it not? Whether you end up building a future with Nate or with someone else… I don't want to go through again what I went through now, worrying about my place in Grace's life. I know you don't want to go through that either if I start dating someone."

"Let's get one thing straight here, I don't care who you meet and end up marrying, she will _never_ be like a mother to Grace."

"You don't know that though" Chuck pointed out. "Say that I meet someone next week and we fall crazy in love and start living together and whatnot. It won't be _that_ long before I have the baby half-time. You know where I'm going with this, you've heard me saying it about Nate and Grace. My new love and I would build a life together, one which Grace would be very much a part of, it wouldn't be such a wonder if the lines got blurred."

"She is _my_ baby" Blair said protectively.

"Mine too. And trust me, the last thing I want is for lines to get blurred no matter which one of us gets seriously involved with someone. What I'm saying is… let's talk this over. Let's decide _now_ what rules apply the day a possible stepparent enters the picture."

"Rules such as?"

"Such as that we both make sure Grace knows who her biological parents are. Such as that we support one another in matters involving the baby."

"How do you mean?"

"If we spend our lives with other people those people deserve to have a say in things" Chuck said. "But if you're with some other guy and him and I have a difference of opinion regarding what's best for Grace or whether or not she should be allowed to do this or that et cetera, you side with me. And vice versa. We have each other's back."

"Agreed" Blair said.

"In return…" Chuck said, then paused. "In return we try not to fight each other's love lives. I don't want my daughter to feel torn, like she has to choose sides. If I hate the guy you're with I don't talk to Grace about it."

"Deal. Anything else?"

"Not at the top of my head, no." He studied Blair and Grace for a moment. "For the record I hated the conversation we just had."

"What do you mean?"

"The very idea of Grace having stepparents… I don't like it."

A smile spread across Blair's face.

"You know something Bass? Neither do I. I like the way things are."

"The way things are is the reason I brought this up to begin with."

"Nate is not in our lives anymore" Blair said, looking down at the baby.

"Am I a total selfish ass for not wanting any other guy to enter the picture later on?" Chuck asked.

Blair looked back up at him and their eyes met. They stared at each other in silence. Eventually Chuck broke the gaze, getting up on his feet again. She didn't point out that she hadn't answered his question.

"I should head out" he said. "You gals probably have a full schedule this evening. No doubt your next course of action will be to let Grace play with your shea body butter which you will be completely surprised when she starts eating from."

"How do you know I have shea body butter?" Blair asked with a suspicious frown.

"I have a sense of smell" Chuck said. Then he made a face. "Or had. Grace probably never will again after today. You don't suppose she can get allergies from being exposed to this much perfume at this tender age?"

"Goodbye Chuck" Blair said dryly.

"Try not to bathe the child in stinky perfumes, okay?"

"Give Daddy a kiss" Blair said to Grace.

Chuck leaned down and kissed Grace. He then kissed Blair on the cheek and smiled slightly. He left the room and Blair stared at the door for a few minutes after he had left. Then she turned her attention to the baby.

"What was all that about?" she mused. "What do you think Grace? Do you want stepparents? Or would you rather have a nuclear family? Unfortunately with your father and me, nuclear might have a rather deadly meaning…"

She sighed and picked up a toy to entertain the baby with, wrinkling her nose at the fact that the baby reeked of white musk.

* * *

"Here" Chuck said, handing something to Nate as he sat down next to him.

Nate looked up with a frown, surprised to see Chuck there. They were in Central Park and Nate had been playing soccer with some friends from school and right now he was taking a quick break leaning back against a bench. It was his usual Tuesday afternoon ritual, of course his former best friend knew where to find him. He looked down at the object Chuck had handed him which looked like one of the baby's little dolls restyled to look like a voodoo doll.

"What's this?"

"I'm sure you've often wanted to unleash physical harm on me since junior year" Chuck said. "I thought I'd give you means to do so as a peace offering."

Nate couldn't help but laugh.

"Has it got strains of your hair?"

"That was a huge sacrifice by the way. You know I don't like messing up my hair."

"I suppose I should give you one of these in return" Nate said, studying the doll. "I can only imagine how upset you must have been with me."

"I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and Blair."

Nate snorted.

"Please, you're practically giddy on the inside." He smiled sadly. "At least I wouldn't blame you if you were. I don't know what I was thinking getting involved with her now of all times."

"Neither do I but it pales in comparison to some of my dumber moves."

"Just some?" Nate ribbed good-naturedly.

"A select few."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the other guys play soccer. It felt partly awkward, partly comfortable. Nate thought it was strange. In a way he was very jealous of Chuck and didn't want his company. At the same time he felt like Blair breaking up with him was a relief. When Grace had been taken to the hospital it had dawned on him that there would always be situations where he would be the third wheel and he wondered if he hadn't been that in every situation since getting back together with Blair. Chuck was in love with Blair. He strongly suspected Blair was in love with Chuck. As much as it hurt to be dumped he didn't want to be the other guy in his own relationship. And he couldn't fault Chuck for the breakup. His former friend had done nothing to disrupt his relationship with Blair. It had happened on its own.

"I guess… I guess Blair and I never had any real closure, you know?" he said, breaking the silence. "Last year it felt like we were torn apart by outer circumstances. Now we got to date again and come to see that we just aren't right for each other."

"Are you saying that because you actually mean it or because you're trying to make sense of it?"

"Blair is not the same person now as she was when we first started going out."

"You're wrong about that Nathaniel" Chuck said. "She's the same person she always was, only now she's more grown up. And who she is... is someone just amazing. I really hope our daughter turns out like her."

"Honestly I'm a little scared of your daughter" Nate said with a chuckle. "She's probably going to turn out an amplified version of her parents. You and Blair squared. There isn't going to be a person safe on this whole island."

"We have some good qualities too, don't we?" Chuck asked mildly.

"Yeah" Nate nodded. "Those lucky few Grace considers her friends are going to be the most well-protected people in the state." He smiled crookedly. "You do have a great little girl. She deserves all the best."

"She does indeed" Chuck said.

Nate studied him curiously.

"So what now? Are you going to make that move on Blair already?"

"That sounds like a question a friend would ask" Chuck replied.

"I don't want to hear any details" Nate emphasized. "In fact, forget I asked. Maybe the best way of repairing a broken friendship isn't to reconnect over the woman who came between you. Do you want to go get high or something?"

Chuck burst out laughing.

"I suppose we could do that… But first why don't you tell me what's really been going on with you and your father?"

* * *

Thus Nair endeth… fairly abruptly but still. Chuck and Nate will not be BFFs again, at least not yet, but the next time Nate show's up it won't be to argue with Chuck or come on to Blair, that much I can assure you =)

In other news I finally got around to creating a tumblr. You can find it at ronjar . tumblr .com and I have absolutely no idea if I'll even end up using it much, but I thought I could use it to wallow in all the Chair splendor that seems to be on tumblr and to comment on things like the review reply problem. If there's a demand for it I'll perhaps comment on my fics there as well but I don't really have all that much to say about them outside of what I post here so I don't know.

All that said, I'm very interested in hearing _your_ comments on this chapter so please review!


	45. Chapter 45

You know your story has gotten long when you start a third word document to write it in because it's getting to be too big a pain to scroll down to the bottom every time. Yikes! I can't believe I've written this much and I can't believe so many of you are still reading. Thank you all so much for sticking with me for this long =) I don't know about you guys but I'm a bit tired of angst and drama right now so this chapter is a touch lighter. Hope you'll like it!

* * *

With a soft voice Blair sang "_Moon River_" to Grace and smiled as the baby grinned. They were on a thick rug on the floor in the newly finished nursery. Grace was playing with a little plushie star that jingled when you shook it and Blair thought that perhaps she should have been singing "_Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star_" instead. She was in a surprisingly good mood, feeling happy and at peace.

"_Two drifters off to see the world…_" she sang and looked up when a knock on the door interrupted her.

The door opened and Chuck came walking in, looking like he was in a good mood as well. Then again he had had that look ever since he found out that things were over between her and Nate, though he hadn't said a word about the end of the relationship.

"Hello ladies" he said.

"Hello yourself" Blair said.

"Baabaa" Grace said and stuck one of the points on the star in her mouth.

Chuck smiled at her and blew her an air kiss in thanks for her greeting.

"I just stopped by to see how things are going" he said to Blair. "I was expecting quite the commotion around here, not playtime and Audrey Hepburn songs. To tell you the truth I'm a little disappointed."

"What do you mean?" Blair asked.

"I've always wondered how Blair Waldorf prepares herself for an important night out" he said, kneeling to tousle Grace's curls. "I thought there'd be a lot more… preparations and a lot less calm."

"You're talking about prom?"

"Of course."

"Things are calm for a very specific reason" Blair said with a smile. "I'm not going."

Chuck looked shocked.

"You're not?"

"No."

"I'm sorry but did you suffer a massive head trauma since I last saw you?" Chuck asked. "Come on, you've always talked about prom. You have that… scrapbook."

"Yeah I know" Blair said with a shrug. "But you know, someone has to stay home with the baby."

"I was thinking that someone ought to be me" Chuck said. "I know we haven't discussed it… I assumed you would be leaving her with your mother and Dorota tonight so that's why I came over, to tell you I'd love to have her for the evening."

"Thank you, but it won't be necessary" Blair said. "I plan on having a wonderful time at home with her. Now that I'm broken up with Nate I no longer look forward to spending an evening being scrutinized by the people we go to school with."

"This is because you don't have a date?"

"I do have a date" Blair said. "Granted she can't dance yet but I think I will have a lot of fun with her."

"Blair…" Chuck said. "You really should go to prom. You're going to regret it if you don't."

"I don't feel up for it Chuck" Blair said with a little sigh. "Whenever I envisioned prom it was never like this."

"Never like what?"

"I don't know, I guess I always saw myself as the belle of the ball you know? The one everyone looked at only not because she's the girl who had a baby just before senior year started and consequentially lost her status as queen."

"So what if they'll look at you like that?" Chuck said. "You're Blair Waldorf. You walk with your head held high. Those people could never measure up to you no matter what they accomplish in life."

"Nonetheless…" Blair said, running a hand through Grace's hair. "I'm staying in tonight. How come _you_'_re_ not going?"

"Not really my kind of scene."

"Really?" Blair said with an entertained grin. "Then how come Chuck Bass attended every single party, ball or school dance in the first three years of high school?"

"Two very simple reasons" Chuck said. "One, those functions were great for finding some girl to take home. Two, you always wanted to go which meant Nate always went which meant I came along. Seriously, I think you ought to go tonight. You love these kind of events and you'll only get one senior prom."

"Who needs stupid high school functions?" Blair said. "I'm looking ahead. To college and the parties I will be able to go to then."

"Ah" Chuck said with a nod. "College. The constant elephant in the room."

The door opened and Dorota walked in with some baby clothes she had washed earlier in the day. Blair barely paid attention to her and raised an eyebrow at Chuck.

"We can't put it off for much longer" she said. "I have to tell Yale whether or not I will be attending this fall."

"We won't have reached an agreement in time for that" Chuck argued. "Which means at the very least you should defer for a year so we can work something out."

"Always talk of Yale or no Yale" Dorota said in a disapproving tone. "Never talk of important things, like christening."

"College is important" Chuck argued.

"We're not christening her, so what's there to talk about?" Blair added.

Dorota glared at her with absolute horror. Chuck grinned and sat down on the armchair. Him and Blair were both technically protestants but neither of them went to church more than once or twice a year, and neither one of them had felt like a christening for the baby would be necessary. He knew Dorota was religious, catholic probably, and seeing her horrified reaction entertained him.

"Miss Blair!" Dorota scolded.

"She's our baby, Dorota" Blair shot back. "She has a name. We don't need some guy in a robe to splash water on her head to make it official."

"Christening is about more than naming" Dorota objected.

"I know. It is also a nice party."

"Miss Blair!"

"We've deemed it not necessary" Blair said. "End of story."

Dorota lifted Grace up from the floor and held her close in a protective fashion. Chuck watched with continued amusement. Why did this matter so much?

"Both of you reckless and irresponsible" Dorota snarled. "Making babies at young age without even being in relationship."

"Dorota" Blair sighed.

"But not having christening for baby is even more irresponsible!"

"In your Eastern European opinion, maybe" Blair countered. "This is America. We have the right to choose."

"You always concerned of baby's safety in this life but no thought to her safety in next" Dorota said.

"I doubt God is going to damn her to hell because we didn't give her a bath in a church" Blair chuckled.

"You people believe in nothing" Dorota said. "Only in money and wealth and shallow things. Baby needs spiritual things. She needs to be protected. You owe it to baby to give her something more than clothes and liquor and pretty things. Perhaps if your own lives had had less of that and more of belief you would not be young parents arguing over where baby should live when summer is over."

"And a ceremony that Grace will have no memory of is going to bring spirituality to her life?" Blair questioned.

"Babies need to be taken into the Lord's herd" Dorota insisted. "Or she will not go to heaven if she dies. Just stuck in limbo."

"Fine" Blair relented, getting up from the floor. "If it will make you stop ranting then okay, we'll have a christening. But it's just water on her head, Dorota."

"No, is way in to heaven" Dorota snarled.

"Whatever, I said we'll do it."

"Good!" Dorota said. "Good to see there is some reason in you." She turned to Chuck. "You've got anything to say?"

"Providence is merciful" Chuck offered, saying the first religious sounding phrase that came to mind.

Dorota looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and confusion. Blair had had enough and took the baby back from her.

"We'll have a christening" she said. "But you should remember your place, or you will be sent back to Poland faster than you can say the Lord's Prayer."

Dorota didn't look the least bit reprimanded. Blair frowned, annoyed with how she was being lectured like she was a little girl. It's not like they had been saying they wouldn't get Grace her vaccinations. Whether or not the baby was christened made no difference whatsoever unless you believed in it.

"Dorota that will be all for today" she said firmly.

Dorota strode out of the room and Blair gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes as she turned to Chuck.

"Do you think Dorota is acting out because I fired her from nanny duty?" she asked with another sigh.

"Who knows? Don't worry about it. Just sit back and enjoy the show."

"I can't believe I gave in and agreed to a christening."

"Ah, where's the harm in it? If nothing else, it's a good excuse for us to expect people to give her stuff. And it is Upper East Side tradition."

"Point taken" Blair said. "I guess it would have been a bit weird if we _didn't_ have a christening, come to think of it."

Chuck shrugged a shoulder.

"I say we worry as little about it as possible. Let Dorota the Christening Nazi do all the legwork."

"And we'll just show up with our pretty baby and smile while people give her things like silver spoons and more rattles from Tiffany's."

"Exactly. Baby's first party."

Blair smiled and gave the baby a kiss.

"What do you think, princess? You want a party?"

"Baaaaah…" Grace said.

"This means she will need godparents" Blair mused.

"Too bad Brando has kicked the bucket" Chuck said. "Think Pacino will be up for the job? His career has been slow lately, he might need some cash. We could pay him."

"Funny" Blair said dryly.

"I assume Serena lacks competition for godmother" Chuck said, rising from his chair to take the baby from Blair. "Come to Papa… What do you think, Grace? Think Serena would make a good godmother?"

"She's probably secretly pissed that we haven't had a christening yet so she can't call herself by that title" Blair remarked.

"She should be content with the title of Aunt" Chuck said.

"The big question is who we should ask to be her godfather" Blair said. "Given that you have no friends we might actually _have_ to ask Pacino to step in."

"I have friends" Chuck objected.

"The only guy you've ever been close enough with to make him a possible godfather candidate is Nate."

"Out of the question" Chuck said. "We might have called a truce and we actually had a meaningful conversation the other day but I do not want him playing a significant role in her life."

"It's basically just a title" Blair argued.

"He doesn't deserve to have titles when it comes to Grace."

"I thought you two were getting along."

"Yes, well, getting along is one thing. Letting him be her godfather is something else entirely. Why should I bestow that honor upon the guy I had been best friends with since forever but who cancelled that friendship on account of Grace?"

"Fine, I won't insist. But we do need to find someone else to do the job. There's a part of me that would like to ask Cyrus, but he's Jewish so they probably don't do the whole godparent thing."

"Wouldn't it be weird to have her step-grandfather as her godfather?" Chuck asked, grabbing a pacifier from the nightstand.

"A bit perhaps."

"A big bit."

"Maybe we should just hold an audition" Blair said, only half in jest.

"Or even better, a reality show. '_The Godfather Part 4 – the Bart Bass Legacy_'."

Blair laughed and shook her head.

"We're just going to have to take some time to think about it."

"Or we just pick someone at random. It's not like we take it _that_ seriously. So long as it's not Nate I don't really care."

"Sounds like this christening is going to be the most well-planned one in forever" Blair remarked dryly.

Chuck just shrugged. He didn't care all that much either way. He took a seat in the armchair and listened with only half an ear while Blair listed possible godfather candidates.

* * *

"Dorota" Blair said as she came into the kitchen with the baby monitor in her hand.

"Miss Blair" Dorota said, looking up from the silverware she was polishing. "Did Mister Chuck leave?"

"Mister Chuck left" Blair nodded. "Mister Chuck and I had a little talk. About the things you said."

"Miss Blair, I'm sorry about before" Dorota said, looking very apologetic "I hope you not mad. I just feel it's important that baby is protected. Please Miss Blair, don't give me even less time with baby."

"I know you care about her Dorota" Blair said. "You're also the only one who really gives a damn about the baby's spiritual life."

"I just feel great concern that-"

"Dorota" Blair cut her off. "Like I said, we had a talk and agreed to christen the baby. Mister Chuck and I also agreed that we should ask you to be Grace's godmother."

Dorota's jaw fell and she didn't seem to know what to do with herself. It took her several seconds to decide whether to put her utensils down first or give Blair a hug first. She ended up tossing the utensils on the counter and throwing her arms around Blair.

"Oh Miss Blair! I don't know what to say! Is great honor!"

Blair smiled and hugged her back. Her mother was bound to throw a hissy over this but Blair thought it was a perfect idea. Serena was the baby's aunt anyway and Dorota was the one who had insisted they do this in the first place.

Dorota broke the hug and gave Blair a serious look.

"Are you sure is appropriate?"

"Sadly the child is half Bass," Blair sighed with a headshake, "which means impropriety is going to be a recurring theme in her life." Then she smiled. "Who cares what society deems appropriate?"

"Miss Blair, you always do."

"In this case I think the question is who would be best suited for the job. Chuck and I both agreed that it's you. Now will you do it or do I have to call Chuck and make sure he doesn't say anything to Serena before we can ask her to step in instead?"

"Oh Miss Blair of course I will be baby's godmother" Dorota said and hugged Blair again. "Thank you Miss Blair. Thank you."

Blair smiled warmly and hugged Dorota back. Asking Dorota to be the godmother was a great idea. It also felt like returning a favor, rewarding Dorota for everything she had done for Blair over the years and everything she had done for Grace.

"I must call and thank Mister Chuck!" Dorota said excitedly and let go of Blair to find her cellphone.

Blair laughed a little.

"I guess that spares me a phone call" she smiled.

While Dorota searched for her phone Blair sat down and grabbed a cookie from a jar on the table. For a few seconds she entertained the idea of taking Chuck up on his offer and leaving Grace with him in order to attend prom. Then she discarded the thought. Her original plan had been to leave the baby with her mother and Dorota since she had assumed Chuck would be going so she didn't need him to step up so that she could go. She simply didn't want to go, weird as it sounded.

She heard Dorota prattle on the phone with Chuck for a few minutes and wondered if asking Dorota to be the godmother would prove to be fatal to her blood pressure. She hadn't seen Dorota this excited in forever.

"Dorota" she said the minute the older woman was off the phone. "Christening is not happening yet. In the meantime there are things to do around here. Get moving."

Dorota grabbed the utensils she had put down earlier and got to work in a manner that reminded Blair of an overly excited squirrel. She shook her head at the sight. Her phone bleeped and she looked down to see she had gotten a message from Chuck. She opened the message expecting a comment on Dorota's excitement. Instead she got an invitation.

"_So embarrassing. I don't have a date 4 2nite either. Consider sharing Urs? U 2 ladies could come over. _"

A smile spread across her face.

* * *

Blair stepped off the elevator around the same time she would have walked in at the prom. Hardly surprising she found Serena in the kitchen, running late as usual. If there was one thing Serena was good at it was being fashionably late and Blair knew her friend actually enjoyed the attention that came with walking in after everybody else.

"B!" Serena said, putting her earrings in. "And little G."

"You look amazing S" Blair said generously.

"You look pedestrian" Serena said with a frown.

Blair's jaw fell.

"Serena!"

"No, I mean you look pedestrian compared to what I would have expected of you on prom night" Serena clarified, walking up to kiss Grace on the cheek. "What's up, why are you here and why aren't you dressed?"

"Didn't I tell you? I'm not going to prom."

Serena froze and studied Blair with trepidation.

"Are… Are you… Is this…" she stuttered.

"Relax S" Blair said. "Right now it just feels like too much work put in to one night that's probably going to end up being just like all the other balls and parties we've attended over the years. Besides you know how I get whenever I go out without Gracie. I keep calling to check up on her every fifteen minutes and it's hard to relax when you can't put your baby from your mind for more than three minutes."

"Okay… What are you doing here then?" Serena had to ask.

"Sharing my date" Blair smiled.

"Say again?"

"Even though I'm not going to prom I still have a date for the evening" Blair said nodding to Grace. "Chuck was just as dateless as I am so he asked if we could share."

"Wouldn't it have made more sense for the two of you to go to prom together?" Serena asked, struggling to put on a bracelet.

"Then we'd be the couple who takes turns calling to check in on their baby" Blair said. "Think of all the pointing and staring _that_ would lead to. Not to mention all the gossip that would be sure to follow the two of us going to prom together. I'm completely serious S, I don't even feel like I want to go to prom."

"As long as you're sure…" Serena said, not sounding too convinced. "I have to go though. I'm running late as it is."

"Have fun" Blair smiled.

"You too" Serena said, grabbing her purse on her way out.

"Bye" Blair said, turning to watch Serena go and waving Grace's hand.

"Good evening ladies" she heard Chuck's voice say behind her.

She turned around and their eyes met, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. He was wearing grey dress pants and a white shirt, looking like he was about halfway dressed for a big event yet at the same time looking casual. Something in his eyes and the way he looked at her made her feel like she was going to prom after all and he was her date who had just arrived to pick her up. She cast that thought aside and offered him a warm smile.

"Look at you" she said. "Don't you look nice."

"Not quite as nice as the two of you" he said, walking closer. "Although I'm sure you'll look ever better once you're dressed."

Blair gave him a confused look and let her eyes trail over her outfit. What did he mean once she got dressed?

"We may not be going to prom but that is not an excuse to be casual" he said, stopping a few feet away from her. "Come with me. I took the liberty of choosing outfits for the pair of you for tonight."

Blair laughed a little, feeling uncertain.

"Bass? What is this about?"

"It's prom night."

"And we're not going" Blair said. Then she looked unsure. "Are we?"

"Not unless you want to" Chuck said, leading the way to his bedroom. "But Blair Waldorf should have _some_ form of prom, don't you think? Even if it mainly consists of watching movies and eating takeout from five-star restaurants." He stopped outside his room and reached out to take the baby. "I'll take the little princess for a moment. I know you like to do that thing girls do when they cover their mouths from pleasant surprises."

Blair gave him a befuddled look but let him take the baby. Then she followed him inside his room. Her hands immediately went up to her mouth as she gasped at the sight of the dress on the bed, a dress that look just like the one in her prom scrapbook. She shot Chuck a look, for a moment wondering how on earth he knew what was in that scrapbook but then deciding she didn't care. She walked up to the bed and let her fingers gently graze the fabric. Never in her life had she imagined actually seeing that dress in real life. At least not after her mother had declared she wouldn't have it made for her.

"I can't believe it" she said. "This is gorgeous!"

"I had it with me when I stopped by your place earlier today but since you weren't going to prom…" he said.

"But… but why?"

"My way of saying thanks" he said. "For being such an awesome mother to my child. For everything."

"Oh it is absolutely stunning" Blair said, lifting the dress up. "Oh… Now I feel bad that I'm not going."

"You can if you want to" Chuck said. "Just say the word. If you're worried about showing up stag I'll be your date. I spoke to Grace's godmother and she'll be more than happy to look after her for us."

Blair held the dress close and thought it over for a second. Then she looked at him with a smile. So that was why he was half dressed for a night out. The thought of arriving at prom on his arm wearing her dream dress was unbelievably tempting. But it would require fixing her hair and her makeup and waiting for Dorota to arrive to take Grace. They would be more than fashionably late. Besides, when she looked at Chuck and Grace she felt there were better ways to spend the night.

"Why would I want to head out and go to prom?" she said. "When I can spend the night here with the two of you?"

"You can do that tomorrow" Chuck offered. "Or any other night of the week."

"This is my prom night" Blair said. "I want to spend it with my beautiful little girl. And her dashing father."

Chuck laughed a little and looked away, a bashful blush on his face. Blair's smile widened. She loved it when she could make him blush.

"I'll go to Serena's room and change" she said. "It would be a shame letting a dress like this go to waste."

"Okay" Chuck said.

Blair walked to the door, stopping when she was next to him. She reached out her hand and let her fingers gently caress his cheek. Their eyes met and for a moment she felt like she was in a committed relationship looking at the person she shared her life with. The fact that their daughter was in his arms contributed to say the least. The moment passed but the feeling that she and Chuck ought to be together did not.

She walked out the door and headed to Serena's room to change.

* * *

Blair opened the door and stepped out from Serena's room, feeling a touch silly in her gown when she wasn't going to leave the house. But when she had put it on and looked in the mirror she had beamed at seeing herself actually wearing the dress from her scrapbook. So what if it was far too fancy for a night in? She was Blair Waldorf and could wear whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.

She stepped out to the sitting room where Chuck was on the floor with Grace. He had his back to her and was blocking the baby from her view. She said his name and he turned his head. The appreciative look in his eyes when he saw her wearing the dress made her feel a touch nervous, like she was on a first date.

He rose and she saw that he had put on a jacket and a bowtie to go with the rest of his outfit. She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't bring me a corsage?" she teased.

"You look stunning" Chuck said. "But you're not my date. My date got a corsage. Besides, your dress looks better without one."

Blair looked past him and her jaw dropped a little when she saw Grace. The baby was wearing a tiny little ball gown and had a large satin corsage in her hands, and partially in her mouth. The dress was dark blue with silver threads and the skirt was wider than anything the baby had ever worn before. Chuck had put a tiny tiara on her head to complete the outfit. Blair stared at the baby with amazement and then looked up at Chuck.

"Bass what is all this?"

"I thought she should be dressed for prom as well" Chuck shrugged. "I suppose to tiara means she's been crowned prom queen, though Constance doesn't have that tradition so then again maybe not."

"She looks adorable" Blair said, walking over and kneeling in front of the baby. "Hi little queen. Look at you, wearing your first ball gown. First out of many. When did you have time to change her clothes?"

"It took you thirty-five minutes to change" Chuck pointed out dryly. "It took me five. Grace took an additional ten. We've had time for a round of peek-a-boo while we've been waiting for you."

"Look at you" Blair smiled at the baby. "You're so precious! Did Daddy take pictures?"

"No not yet" Chuck said. "I'll go get the camera."

He went to get it and Blair grinned at Grace who looked very excited to see her. Carefully Blair grabbed a hold of her and stood up. At the back of her mind she was worried about getting her dress dirty but the baby had stopped spitting up and the worst she would get on her dress now was probably drool and that was something dry-cleaning would surely take care of. She kissed Grace on the cheek and rubbed their noses together.

"You are such a pretty girl" she said. "Look at you in this dress. Where did your Daddy even find a ball gown your size on such short notice?"

The flash from a camera caught her attention and she turned to find Chuck standing there with a smirk.

"I don't like candid photos" Blair complained.

"Don't worry, it's a good one."

Blair smirked at him. If he thought she would let him upload those pictures to his computer without her looking through them all first he was dead wrong. But that was a discussion they could have later. Right now she would much rather just enjoy herself.

* * *

The following hour was spent playing with Grace on the floor. Both Chuck and Blair took a lot of pictures and Blair claimed that her favorite one was of Grace sitting on the floor with Chuck's jacket over her shoulders, sucking on one end of her little tiara. Once it was time for Grace to have her bedtime meal Blair sent Chuck to get a towel to protect her dress while she nursed. Grace had stopped fussing when she was given a bottle instead of the breast in the evenings but Blair had taken up nursing her before bed again when she got sick. Her mother had been surprised that she was even able to but she had only held up for little over a week before starting up again and during that time she had pumped three times so she still had a little milk to offer. She sat down on the couch with the baby cradled in her arms and smiled warmly as the little girl fed.

She saw a flash and heard the clicking sound of the digital camera taking another picture. With a frown she looked up at Chuck.

"Excuse me Bass" she said. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking a picture."

"There will be no pictures of me flashing my breasts while in my prom dress."

"You're not flashing anything. The baby covers anything of interest. You two looked cute together."

"Yeah" Blair said, suddenly feeling a bit melancholy. "The former queen of Constance Billard sitting at home in her prom dress nursing an infant child while everyone else at school is having the time of their lives at prom."

Chuck frowned and put the camera down. He hadn't expected her to get downhearted all of a sudden. He had only wanted for her to have a nice alternative to prom and a memorable night since she had seemed so adamant about not wanting to attend the actual prom.

"It's not too late for you to go" he said. "Prom will still be going on for another couple of hours. You shouldn't have any regrets tonight, if you want to go then go."

"No…" she said, looking down at Grace and gently moving a strain of hair from the baby's forehead. "It doesn't really matter much if I go or if I stay home. I'm still that girl with the infant child."

"Thankfully" Chuck said. "I happen to like her more than any of those bitches we go to high school with. I don't care that you had a baby out of wedlock in your teens. You have more class in that finger touching Grace's forehead than any of them do in their entire bodies."

She didn't reply. She watched Grace as she nursed and wished she didn't feel this way all of a sudden. She shouldn't be sad over any of this. So what if she was no longer queen of her school? Grace was a better prize than anything she could ever get from Constance Billard. But right now she felt too reminded of all the things that had not turned out the way she had wanted them to and planned for them to.

Chuck walked over and sat down on the coffee table in front of her. He didn't say anything either but the silence was not uncomfortable. He waited for her to finish nursing and then offered to take the baby while she covered herself up again. He rose with Grace in his arms and left to change her into her pajamas. Blair remained sitting on the couch for a few minutes, thinking about the evening she could have had and the evening she was having instead. Then she rose and walked inside Chuck's room just as he came back from having changed Grace's diaper.

"Is she ready for bed?" Blair asked.

"Half asleep already" Chuck said.

Blair walked over and gave Grace a kiss. She was in her pajamas now, holding a strawberry plushie in one hand, slumping over Chuck's shoulder and barely able to keep her eyes open. She had a purple pacifier in her mouth but was too tired to suck on it.

"Goodnight prom queen" Blair said softly.

"Come on Blair, you should go to prom" Chuck said again. "I don't like that you have to sacrifice so many things on account of being Grace's mom. You shouldn't deny yourself the things you don't have to give up."

"I had every chance to go to prom and I chose not to" Blair said. "That's just that. Grace seems to be practically asleep already; I'm going to go back out to the livingroom and get myself a drink."

"Yeah do that" Chuck said, gently rocking the baby back and forth. "I'll join you as soon as she's asleep."

Blair walked out of the room and poured herself a large drink, knowing she wouldn't finish half of it. With the tumbler in her hand she stood by the window, looking out over the New York City skyline. Slowly a trace of a smile began to creep across her face. What was she feeling morose over? Not attending prom? She hadn't wanted to go in the first place, not since splitting with Nate. What could prom have to offer that she didn't have right here tonight? She wouldn't trade a dozen prom nights for one night with Grace. And the boy she would have really liked to go to prom with was right here with her. They were alone with their daughter, away from the busybody eyes of their classmates. A night at home in Chuck's company was worth more than a night out at prom. All she wanted was to be near him and the baby so what could she possibly complain about tonight?

The silence was broken by the sound of music softly playing. She turned around and saw Chuck standing by the stereo. Blair smiled slightly as the sound of Eva Cassidy's voice filled the room.

"She's sleeping?"

"Like the baby she is."

"Interesting choice of music."

"Perhaps not my style… nor is it what they're likely to play where all our classmates are tonight… but I know you like her."

"You're very perceptive" Blair said, walking over to the coffee table to put her tumbler down. "The music, the dress…"

"I make it a point to know things about the people who matter."

She didn't feel quite sure how to respond. She took another sip from her drink and then put it down on the table. When she looked up at him he had his hand reached out to her.

"You may have stayed at home but this is your prom night" he said. "Queens should get to dance on their prom nights. I'm probably not who you had in mind for a dance partner tonight, at least when I looked in your scrapbook I couldn't find myself dancing with you anywhere… But perhaps you can settle for me anyway?"

"I suppose I can" Blair smiled.

She walked up to him and stopped a few feet away. She felt nervous again, unsure of what was really happening. He closed the gap between them and took her in his arms, leading her into a dance. She wrapped one arm around his neck and felt the thrill of her other hand being taken by his. She reveled in how good he smelled, the feeling of his hand on the small of her back, the feeling of his body so close to her own. She had not been this physically close to him in almost a year now. A content sigh slipped past her lips as she leaned closer and rested her cheek against his.

Neither of them said a word. Blair closed her eyes and allowed herself to be carried away by the moment. She wanted little more than to stay in his arms forever. She wished so badly that he would agree to come to Connecticut with her in the fall. The two of them could get an apartment together and stay there with their child. Even if they were just platonic at first she had strong doubts that they would be able to make it four years without acting on their feelings. In fact she would be surprised if they managed one semester.

Chuck was not quite as relaxed as Blair was. He had to fight with himself not to bring his lips to hers and kiss her. He wanted it so much he could almost taste her and feel the sensation of her small hand playing with the hair on the back of his neck while they gave in to their desires. Right now there was no doubt that she knew where his mind was and she hadn't made any move to pull away from him, nor had she acted in any way like she didn't want to be near him tonight. Yet he forced himself not to make a move. She had just gotten out of a relationship with Nate. He knew she was vulnerable right now, her sadness earlier had left little doubt that she was emotional. He was afraid that making a move now might be taking advantage of that. He didn't want her to have any regrets if they kissed or if they did more than that.

When the song ended they stopped dancing but neither made a move to break the embrace. Chuck took a deep breath, delighting in the smell of her hair. Blair still had her eyes closed and curled her hand into a fist, grasping at his shirt. Both of them knew that they wanted the same thing yet neither made a move. Chuck was afraid of taking advantage and she was worried about what was keeping him from taking action. Eva Cassidy had made it to the chorus of the next song by the time Blair released her grip on his shirt and pulled away, glancing up at him with a small smile before nervously looking down at her dress. Chuck harked and went to the bar, feeling just as awkward as she did.

"I could use a drink too" he said. "Do you want to take a seat? Do you want anything to eat? I just realised we never ate dinner."

"Yeah" Blair said, walking over to the couch. "Yeah, something to eat would be perfect. I'm starving."

"I'll order in" Chuck said.

Blair faked a smile and played with the fabric on her dress. She had no idea where they should go after dancing together like that and not ending up moving forward. Chuck ordered food for them and she excused herself to go to the bathroom and then check on the baby. She waited in Chuck's room until she heard their dinner arriving, glancing down at their sleeping baby girl, suddenly realizing that with Grace having fallen asleep in the crib she would either have to leave her there overnight or spend the night herself. Before she had time to think about it she heard Chuck talking to the delivery person and she walked back out to join him.

"Smells good" she offered.

"It does" Chuck nodded.

Blair took a seat on the couch. Chuck looked unsure for a second. Then he walked over with the food and asked her if she wanted wine. She realized she hadn't sat down by the dinner table but Chuck seemed okay with eating by the couch so she could be too. He went to get the wine, cutlery and glasses and before she knew it they were sitting next to each other eating expensive takeout wearing prom outfits. She nearly spilled on her dress and Chuck laughed a little, handing her a napkin.

"You can do better than that Waldorf" he said. "Grace made it through dinner without spilling. So can you."

"Grace ate dinner at my place" Blair pointed out. "How do you know she didn't spill?"

"She told me while you were changing."

Blair gave him a look but smiled. The weird tension from before seemed to have gone away and by and by the mood changed into one of joviality. They finished their dinners and Chuck cleared off the coffee table. They sat and talked for a while, laughing together more now than they had done in a long time. By the time Serena came home Chuck had removed his bowtie and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt and Blair had curled up on the couch with her wide skirt covering both their laps. One of her legs had made its way over Chuck's lap and he hadn't said anything about asking her to remove it. Their heads were leaned together as they looked through all the pictures they had taken during the evening.

"Aw, look at that" Blair said, pointing at the latest picture they had gotten to. "Have you ever seen such a cute little girl?"

"I'm happy she's got her greedy little hands all over _your_ clothes for once" Chuck smirked.

Blair laughed. In the picture she was sitting on the floor with Grace who had grabbed the hem of her dress and put it in her mouth.

"Blair?" Serena said, watching the pair on the couch with confusion. "Chuck? What is going on here?"

"Evening sis" Chuck said while Blair quickly removed her leg from his lap and sat up more properly. "How was prom?"

"You tell me" Serena said. "Looks like I missed parts of it. Blair where did you get a dress that looks just like the one in your scrapbook?"

"From Chuck" Blair said.

"Why did you get Blair a dress?" Serena questioned.

"Why not?" Chuck countered with a shrug.

"We had a little prom celebration of our own" Blair needlessly explained to her confused best friend.

"Yeah I see that" Serena said.

"Guess prom's over" Chuck concluded. "My date went to sleep hours ago. How rude of me to not call it a night earlier."

"Perhaps I should leave you two alone" Serena said, looking skeptic.

"Actually…" Blair said, skipping to her feet. "How about a slumber party?"

"What, all three of us?"

"No" Blair said, rolling her eyes. "Gracie is asleep in Chuck's room so I'd like to spend the night. You could tell me all about what happened at prom. It would be fun."

"If you guys decide to have a pillow fight, can I watch?" Chuck asked, getting up from his spot on the couch.

"Okay" Serena said to Blair, ignoring her stepbrother. "Slumber party sounds like fun. Let me just go take these shoes off because they are _killing_ me."

She walked to the coatroom and took off her shoes. Blair turned to Chuck with a smile which he returned.

"Thank you for a lovely evening" she said.

"Thank you for sharing your date."

"She and I both had a wonderful time."

He smiled warmly at her. Serena came back, prattling about something or other that had happened to Penelope's date. Blair let her eyes stay with Chuck for a few seconds more then she followed Serena to her room. Chuck snuffed out the candles on the coffee table and then followed. All three of them stopped outside of Chuck and Serena's rooms.

"If you had been my date and not Grace… this would probably be where I would have kissed you goodnight" Chuck said.

"Would it?" Blair said, feeling nervous again.

"Thank you for giving me the pleasure of your company once our date had gone to sleep."

Blair smiled and stepped closer.

"I should thank you."

They looked into each other's eyes, both of them having forgotten Serena was even there. Blair tried to will him into kissing her and Chuck fought every instinct in his body that was telling him to.

"Goodnight" he said, barely audible.

Then he leaned in closer and kissed her at the corner of her mouth. Behind Blair Serena rolled her eyes, wondering if she would have to walk up there, grab them by the back of their heads and press their faces together in order for them to kiss. She could tell how much they both wanted to. She couldn't for the life of her figure out how either one of them was able to resist something they both craved that much.

They couldn't resist. Not entirely. Chuck's lips moved from the corner of Blair's mouth and his lips pressed against hers. The kiss was formal, almost chaste, but the emotion behind it made it more intense than any kiss Blair had shared with Nate during their relationship revival. When their lips parted a few seconds later Blair had to gasp to catch her breath. The look in Chuck's eyes made her swoon and she yearned for another kiss.

"Okay" Serena said. "Goodnight."

She opened the door to her bedroom, intending to leave the two of them alone. To her surprise Blair took a few steps back from Chuck and bid him a good night. Then she followed Serena inside her room and closed the door.

"Seriously?" Serena said. "You walked inside my bedroom instead of his? I don't think any guy has ever looked at me the way he just looked at you. If it were me I'd be half naked in there already. You're an idiot."

"What, you think we should ravish each other on his bed with our daughter sleeping a few feet away?" Blair said breathlessly, leaning against the door as she tried to gather herself.

"If you want I can spend the night in Chuck's room and you guys could go crazy in here. That's not an offer I would normally make but I happen to think that the two of you acting on that pent up emotion would be good in the long run. Maybe once you stop fighting it you'll end up unable to leave each other's sight and that would make the both of you that much more eager to solve your issues about where Grace should be in the fall."

Blair gave no answer. She reached up her hand to her face but stopped before her fingers could graze her lips. That kiss had been heaven and hell. There was too little of it. She wanted desperately to feel his lips pressing against her longer, feel his tongue in her mouth and her tongue exploring his. She wanted to feel his hair under her fingers as her hand played by his neck. She wanted to feel his weight on her, his hands on her, his mouth on her.

"Hello?" Serena said. "Earth to Blair?"

"I need something to sleep in" Blair mumbled.

Serena looked surprised at the comment but went to her dresser to find something for Blair to sleep in, secretly thinking that her stepbrother's bed would be the most suitable for Blair to sleep in. Neither one of them spoke as they changed out of their dresses and into their nighties and got ready for bed. Once they were both underneath the covers Blair sighed dreamingly and smiled to herself. Serena gave her a look and expected her to start talking about Chuck. Instead Blair chose to bring focus off herself.

"So tell me, how was it?" she asked. "Who wore what and who embarrassed themselves how? Please tell me all my former minions looked like crap."

"Oh no you don't" Serena said. "What exactly has been going on _here_ tonight? And seriously, what are you doing here with me when your mind is across the hall? Not to mention other parts of you that I prefer not to think about."

"I haven't got the faintest idea what you mean" Blair said innocently.

"Blair" Serena snorted. "Come on, the two of you were looking at each other like you were newlyweds or something."

"Just your imagination."

"I'm jealous" Serena pouted. "I want to be head over heels too. And if I were I'd damn sure do my best to be with the guy in question. You, you have him across the hall, more than willing. You make no sense to me whatsoever."

Blair flinched a little at hearing Serena call chuck "willing". There was something holding him back and she didn't know what it was. She knew he felt the attraction she did but still he refused to make a move. What possible reason could there be? At this point she was fairly sure that if he only made one move she would give herself to him completely. However she would not pursue him. She had been burned enough times already. She needed him to prove his feelings, to make her feel secure and confident that he wanted her.

"Serena just give me the details on prom already" she said, eager to get the full story so that she could then pretend to go to sleep and entertain herself with thoughts about Chuck.

Serena talked and Blair listened, commenting on occasion and asking a few questions. By the time Serena was done talking Blair had rolled over on her side and rested her head on her hands. As soon as she knew Serena had wrapped up her story she let her mind go back to Chuck and a smile spread across her face. Serena looked over and rolled her eyes.

"You've got it bad alright" she said, rolling over on her other side to go to sleep.

Blair just smiled.

* * *

I can tell you right away that there won't be a christening chapter. I can't think of anything interesting for a chapter like that so it will just happen between updates.

What did you think of the way they spent their prom night? Let me know =)


	46. Chapter 46

The response I got on the last chapter was really something special! I'm excited that you guys loved it that much. Thank you everyone who sent me your positivity, it's been really helpful and inspiring.

* * *

"It's a great pleasure having you here, Miss Waldorf" dean Berube said, shaking Blair's hand with a smile.

Blair returned the smile. She didn't believe he cared all that much about her personally but she enjoyed the fact that he was making an effort. It made her feel wanted by Yale and she needed that feeling.

She looked around the by now more familiar office and imagined being a student at this school, a fantasy she had enjoyed more times than she could remember. She needed to make up her mind soon whether or not she should go, or rather she needed to convince Chuck that he could still have a close relationship with Grace even if Blair moved to New Haven with her. Or even better, convince him to move there as well.

Since their prom night together it was all she could think about. It had only been a few days and during those days they had both been too busy to spend any real time together but when they did see each other it was clear to her that he couldn't stop thinking about it either. The looks they had shared, the little smiles, all of it made her heart beat faster and her mind create an endless line of fantasies about the kind of fall they could have together in New Haven. The idea of going to lectures at Yale in the mornings and coming home to Chuck and Grace made her smile like an idiot even when she was in public and she could just picture the kind of afternoons they could have, not to mention the kind of nights she and Chuck could enjoy once the baby was asleep and they were all alone with each other.

"Where is your child today?" the dean asked in a friendly tone, stirring her from her thoughts of the boy she loved.

"She's with her father."

"He still supports you going to our school?" the dean asked, taking a seat on his desk.

"Yes" Blair said, thinking it was only half a lie since Chuck had no problem with her attending Yale per se.

"Yet your father arranged for you to come meet with me today…" dean Berube said. "Regarding your attendance this fall. What is on your mind?"

"Dean Berube I cannot begin to tell you what an honor it is to have been accepted at Yale" Blair said. "It is my dream come true and I promise you that you will not regret accepting me. I will do the school proud!"

"I'm sure you will Miss Waldorf."

"There are just some… logistical aspects I'm concerned with" Blair said carefully. "For instance living at the dorms with my daughter is probably not a very good idea. I would need an off-campus residence."

"We don't usually permit our students to bend the rules, especially not because of issues they already knew they had when they applied."

"I understand that but… I'm sure something can be arranged."

The dean rose and looked thoughtful.

"This _was_ your father's alma mater…" he said in a pondering tone. "And the father of your child is Bart Bass' son."

Blair resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had never mentioned Grace's paternity to the dean or to anyone else at Yale but they had obviously either done their research or read a lot of gossip columns.

"The Basses are always very grateful when someone helps them out" she pointed out with a faked smile.

"I suppose they are" dean Berube said. "Perhaps we _can_ work something out. But how about I give you a tour of the dorms first? Perhaps you'll find them agreeable to your standards."

"Oh I have no doubt that they are" Blair insisted. "It's just that a baby requires a lot of room and I'll have to have someplace for the nanny to stay and having college students as my next-door neighbors when I have a little baby is probably not a very good idea."

"Come, let's take a look anyway." He held the door open for her and she rose from her chair to follow him. "We are most excited to have the mother of Bart Bass' granddaughter attending our school in the fall. Perhaps even the little girl will one day join her mother and grandfather and become one of our students."

Blair kept the smile on her face but she was starting to get suspicious. The dean seemed awfully excited that she had a child with Bass blood in her veins. Chuck had never applied to Yale and even if he had his reputation probably wasn't what the school was after. But the Bass name still held prestige and if Grace grew up to be as study motivated as her mother and as prim and proper as Blair liked to appear to be she would probably be a great catch for any university in the country.

What followed was an extended tour of the campus and the dormitories while the dean discussed which courses she would like to take in the fall and what she planned to major in. He offered her the chance to study at half pace her first year and thereby get more time for her child, something Blair had already made up her mind about. Bart Bass' name came up more than once during the tour and before they left the dorms Blair decided she had to ask the question that was on her mind.

"Dean Berube…" she said. "You are definitely familiar with my daughter's late grandfather. Forgive me but I have to ask… Did you accept me merely because of my child's heritage?"

"Of course not" the dean said. "But I would be lying if I said it didn't weight in your favor to have Bart Bass backing you."

"Bart Bass did nothing of the sort" Blair pointed out. "Where I go to school has never been any of his business and he has never treated it as such."

"Of course not. I merely meant that you had a remarkable application on your own merit but let's be realistic, being that closely connected to the Bass name will do anyone favors. The name is the only thing that would have gotten Bart's son accepted at whichever school he chose to apply to."

"Chuck happens to be much smarter than you think" Blair said defensively. "He is cunning like you wouldn't believe which I mean in a good way. He might not have put a lot of time into studying but his grades have been good anyway which ought to say something and Bart Bass put him in charge of Bass Industries at the age of seventeen which ought to say even more."

"I've never doubted that boy's intelligence, merely his focus, his behavior and his… extracurricular activities."

Blair felt compelled to inform the dean that Chuck's focus and behavior were all centered around an extracurricular activity called Grace, deeply offended by the dean's implications, but before she could figure out what to say they were joined by an elderly woman who reminded Blair of every boring librarian in cinema history.

"Ah, here's Louise now" dean Berube said. "She will continue your tour of our campus and answer any further questions you might have. I have a lot of things to attend to. I'm sure you understand."

"Perfectly" Blair said warily.

The elderly woman introduced herself and Blair shook her hand with little interest. She was already in and didn't need to suck up to anyone.

"Miss Waldorf I will be looking forward to seeing you here this fall!" dean Berube said.

"Actually…" Blair began, feeling she should mention that it wasn't completely decided yet that she would be attending. "I'm not here to formally accept my spot here. I need to talk things over with Grace's father first and-"

"I'm sure we can find a solution to your living arrangements as well" the dean said as if he hadn't heard a word she said. "Good luck on your graduation tomorrow!"

Then he was gone. Slightly unsure Blair turned to Louise and faked another smile. This could get a touch complicated if the dean took for granted that she would attend this year. Or maybe it was fate stepping in to make sure she got to attend the college of her dreams.

"Should we continue the tour?" Louise said, sounding bored by the idea.

"Are there any playgrounds in the vicinity?" Blair asked.

Louise gave her a look like she was mentally challenged and herded Blair towards an adjacent building. She began to talk about the proud history of Yale, things Blair had heard since she was a little girl and didn't need to pay any attention to. Blair's mind drifted to the conversation she needed to have with Chuck. The dean had pretty much said they could find a solution to the housing issue which was a huge relief since she would need her own off-campus apartment in order to bring Grace. She would tell Chuck all about it after graduation and see if they could work out a compromise together. Or better yet, convince him to come live with her here.

* * *

She arrived at Constance Billard the next morning straight off the train and quickly ran to the locker room to get ready, cursing the fact that this was how she prepared for her high school graduation but knowing she had had to go to Yale when it best suited the dean and beggars could not be choosers. Then she decided she didn't care. She was graduating with Serena and Chuck and Nate and everyone else she had been going to school with, this in spite of becoming a mother merely days before senior year started. It was a much more impressive feat than anyone else at the school had accomplished.

She left the locker room and went out to the courtyard to find Serena. Instead she found her mother and Cyrus, who weren't supposed to be out on the yard. Still she smiled when she saw that they had brought Grace with them.

"Hi Grace!" Blair cooed with a wide smile, immediately taking the baby. "Hi, what are you doing here?"

"We asked Lily to bring her when she arrived" Eleanor said.

"We thought you would like to see her before the ceremony" Cyrus added with an excited smile.

"You are going to be such a good student, attending your first graduation before you're a year old, aren't you?" Blair cooed to Grace, who wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and hid her face, a bit frightened by the crowds. "Yes you are. You are going to make Mama very proud, yes you are. Does Daddy know you're here?"

"We haven't seen him" Eleanor said. "Here, let me take the baby. We should go find our seats. Did you have a satisfying trip?"

"Dean Berube is suddenly very excited that I'm attending" Blair said, reluctantly handing Grace back over to Eleanor.

Grace, who was already on edge, began to cry when she was taken from her mother's arms. Eleanor raised an eyebrow and told Blair they would take the baby someplace more secluded for a moment. They walked off and Blair watched them go, wishing she could have had another moment with Grace. Whenever her baby cried she wanted to be the one to soothe her, especially when she cried because Blair handed her over.

When she could no longer see her family she started scanning the courtyard to find Serena. Instead she found Chuck who was on his way over.

"I heard a familiar cry" he said with a frown when he reached her. "Tell me that wasn't our Grace I heard."

"Mother and Cyrus thought I might want to say hi to her."

"Why?" Chuck questioned. "I only had her overnight. You could wait until after graduation to say hello to her. I don't think she should be out in these crowds."

Deciding not to get into a fight with him today of all days Blair smiled sweetly and reached out her hand to adjust his cap.

"Are you excited to be graduating?" she asked.

"I believe we were talking about our daughter."

"Our daughter who is about to see us graduate high school" Blair smiled. "Just imagine Chuck… In seventeen years we'll be watching _her_ graduate. I can already imagine how I will feel. On one hand full of pride, on the other hand heartbroken that she will be going off to college when summer is over." She looked down at her hands that were still fussing with his clothes. "To Yale most likely."

"We're getting a little ahead of ourselves" Chuck said. "How about you and me graduate first before we cry over the baby leaving the nest."

Blair looked up at him again and smiled.

"You're coming to Nate's party tonight?"

"I am. You?"

"Yeah me too. Maybe we can… talk more there?"

He nodded.

"Sure. You look great by the way."

"So do you Bass" she smiled. "Excuse me. I see Serena."

Casting one more glance at him she hurried off to talk to her best friend. The ceremony was about to start. Soon high school would be over. She could not be more ready.

* * *

"How did you like your first graduation ceremony?" Blair asked Grace with a grin that evening when Grace had woken up from her nap. "Aside from the annoying Gossip Girl blast I thought it went pretty well. Don't you?"

"Baaaaah…" Grace said, wobbling where she sat on Blair's bedspread.

"You went to your first graduation ceremony… last week you attended your first prom… but you'll have to wait a while longer for your first graduation party. Tonight's party is for high school graduates only."

Blair studied herself in the mirror and frowned. She was fresh out of a relationship with Nate so if she had been a normal teenager tonight would have been full of opportunity. Her last night among the people from Constance and St. Jude's. She could flirt with anyone she wanted, dance with anyone she wanted, go home with anyone she wanted and nobody would be able to comment on it later on. She cast a glance at the nine month-old on the bed. She wasn't an ordinary teenager. Trying to date Nate had been exhausting and she really didn't have the energy to bring someone new into hers and Grace's life at present nor did she have any interest in spending the night with some guy from St. Jude's she would never see again. There was only one guy she wanted anyway.

"I don't think he's ready Gracie" she sighed. "He only had to make one little move at prom and I would have been his and he had to have known it yet all he did was give me a very chaste kiss, practically a peck on the lips... A very _hot_ peck on the lips I will admit. Then again… That doesn't mean we can't show him exactly what he's missing and make sure he gets ready in a hurry. He should either give in or be tortured. So to speak. What do you think kiddo? Mommy needs a spectacular outfit, perfect accessories, incredible hair and killer makeup. We've got our work cut out for us."

Grace laughed on the bed and clapped her hands together. Blair smiled widely. She could never seem to get over how adorable her little girl was, especially when she looked that excited. She got up from her chair and walked over to the bed, leaning over to give the baby a big kiss on the lips.

"What do you say sugar? Should we get started?"

Grace laughed again and Blair decided her baby was just as fond of getting ready for a big night out as Blair herself was. She walked over to her computer and opened a playlist with the perfect getting-ready music at a suitable volume. While Cyndi Lauper began to sing '_Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_' Blair opened the doors to her closet and grabbed the seven different outfits she had previously selected as candidates for the evening's wear. She flung them over a chair and grabbed the top one, a green Ralph Lauren, removing it from the hanger. She held it up in front of her and catwalked up to the bed where Grace was highly entertained by her mother's latest little game.

"What do you think?" Blair asked, stopping to strike a pose. "No you're right. You can't really tell unless you see it on. Here, hold it for me for a second."

She put the dress on the bed and shimmied out of the black dress she had been wearing thus far in the day. Grace observed her with eyes wide with fascination as if she had never seen her mother undress before.

"Okay" Blair said. "First dress candidate please."

She reached over and grabbed the green dress. While singing along with Lauper she put the dress on and then raised an eyebrow at the baby. Then she strutted back and forth in the room with a look like she was above it all, finally stopping and placing a hand on her hip before looking at Grace over her shoulder.

"How about it?"

Grace looked a bit confused at her mother's latest moves and Blair nodded seriously.

"You're right. You're absolutely right. It's way too… simple for an occasion like tonight. Off it goes!"

She carelessly tossed the dress in a corner before moving on to the next one. Normally she wouldn't dream of being this careless with clothes but she needed to get rid of some tension and Grace seemed to find it amazing so she didn't mind mistreating designer clothes just this once. The next dress she grabbed was a pale yellow dress her mother had designed and she lost a bit of momentum when she had to struggle with getting the zipper up in the back. Once the dress was in proper place she repeated her catwalk.

"I can tell you like this one better" Blair said. "You're right. It's definitely a strong candidate. It would look really great with the Jimmy Choos I bought last week."

She repeated the process of taking one dress off and another on, only this time she put the yellow dress on its hanger and hung it up so it wouldn't get wrinkly. The new dress she tried on was red, and a bit too revealing for her tastes. Grace didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it but Blair studied herself in the mirror and decided it just wasn't good enough for the occasion.

"I'm all for a lady in red" she said. "Though this looks like the wrong kind of lady. Besides, let's face it, the sleeves are all wrong for the rest of the dress and you know Chuck doesn't like that sort of thing." She gave the baby a look. "Yes, we might as well admit it. We want to find something he would like. Like we discussed before Daddy needs to see what he's missing out on. I'm back on the market and he should know that. More than he does already."

The fashion show continued for a while until finally she had decided on a black and white number which she hoped would appeal to Chuck. Having settled on what to wear she went through five pairs of shoes trying to find the best ones to go with it, parking on the floor next to the bed and holding each pair up to Grace to ask her opinion. She held each pair up once and then went through them again, studying them carefully to make the right decision. When she held up the third pair Grace pointed at them and made a noise.

"What, these?" Blair said. "They're not really the best fit for the dress if you ask me. I was going to suggest the fifth pair. But hey, he's your daddy. You might know something about his preferences that I don't."

Next she conferred with Grace over which headband to use and which necklace to wear. Once her complete outfit was settled she lifted the baby up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright, now Mommy needs to jump in the shower, okay? Can't go around smelling like midday now can we? I'm going to bring you downstairs to hang out with Grandma' for a while and I'll come get you again when it's time to get the makeup done, alright?"

She almost didn't want to take the baby downstairs. Grace was in such a good mood and Blair loved seeing her this way. She decided her shower could wait another five minutes and began to dance around to the music with Grace in a firm grip. She put Grace down on the bed again and held on to her hands helping her stand up while singing along to the chorus of '_Dancing Queen_'. Grace was very wobbly but squealed with delight. Towards the end of the song Blair scooped her up in her arms and lifted her up in the air. Then she gave the baby a big kiss on the cheek and grinned widely.

"Serena and I used to dance to this song when we were younger" she said. "Puts you in the party mood, doesn't it? Though you're not the dancing queen just yet. Mommy claims that title. You need to learn how to stand on your own first. Now let's get you down to Grandma' so I can take a shower, okay?"

Feeling in a spectacular mood she walked out the door, more than ready for the party that evening to start.

* * *

When she stepped out of the shower a while later she didn't feel nearly as good. Her nerves were starting to get the better of her and she wondered what she really wanted from this evening. It was silly really. When had she ever been nervous to see Chuck? Truth be told it had happened on a few occasions but she didn't like being reminded of them. Tonight was not like the Snowflake Ball when she had been hoping that she and Chuck would take their relationship to the next level. She had no such expectations from this night even though she had hope. She was single now and he knew it. He had been bothered by her relationship with Nate and now it was over. They had shared something, whatever it was, on prom night. Could he have decided that he was done biding his time and that he needed to make his move now before someone else came along? Was he ready to set aside his fears and give them a real shot?

She got dressed with great care and meticulously styled her hair. Once she was finished she put an old cardigan on to make sure her dress wouldn't get any makeup stains on it. Her mother walked in with Grace and following Blair's instructions sat her down on the vanity.

"Are you sure it's such a good idea for her to be sitting on this thing?" Eleanor asked.

"She'll be fine. She's going to help me get my makeup done."

"Well that's doomed to be a failure" Eleanor commented with rolling eyes. "I'll have Dorota get the camera."

Blair ignored her and reached for the makeup she had placed in front of the mirror.

"Now Grace watch carefully as Mommy gets ready for a night out. When you're older I'm going to teach you how to do your makeup perfectly."

She began to apply the makeup while telling Grace what each thing she used was and why she was using it. Grace watched with wide eyes and reached for the brush Blair had applied powder with.

"Okay, fine, hold this for me" Blair said. "I'm going to start with the eye shadow. We want it to be discreet and classy. Are you listening to me Gracie?"

She began to put the eye shadow on, casting a sideways glance at Grace who was putting the brush in her mouth. Blair frowned and was just about to take the brush back when the baby sneezed.

"Maybe now you'll leave that thing alone" Blair said. "It's probably not very healthy to suck on it."

Grace didn't seem to mind however and put it in her mouth again, apparently enjoying the way it felt. Blair shook her head and took the brush back. She continued applying the eye makeup while glancing over every couple of seconds to make sure Grace wasn't falling over.

"There's one very simple rule to follow when it comes to eye makeup" she told her daughter. "Less is more. If you're starting to look like a raccoon then you've gone very wrong. If you ever start adapting that kind of look I'll ground you until you come to your senses."

Once her eyes were perfect Blair opened the box where she kept all her lipsticks and selected one which would work perfectly with what she was wearing. Grace reached inside the box and clumsily grabbed one as well, holding it up and looking at it with big eyes.

"I think cherry red is a touch much for you" Blair said. She searched through the box for a second and found another lipstick. "This one would suit you better. It's more discreet. Your face is too young for strong colors."

Grace dropped the cherry red lipstick and grabbed the soft pink shade Blair was holding out to her. Blair removed the top and let the baby play with it as she pleased.

"That was Nate's favorite color" she shrugged. "I probably won't be wearing it all that much anymore. Feel free to go nuts with it. Just don't eat it!"

Grace seemed very interested by the color of the lipstick and made a long, awed noise. Blair chuckled to herself and applied her own lipstick. Grace watched her and tried to copy, smearing lipstick all over her face.

"Look at you" Blair giggled. "You're a mess. Here, let me clean you off."

She grabbed a wipe, looking up when she heard Dorota entering the room.

"Aw, look at baby" Dorota fawned. "Must take picture before you clean up."

Blair shrugged and allowed Dorota to take her pictures. Then she took the lipstick back from Grace and as gently as she could cleaned the lipstick off.

"There. That's much better. Now Dorota is going to take you downstairs to get something to eat while I put the finishing touches to my getup."

Grace made a "muh" sound over and over again and started getting louder when Dorota lifted her up. Blair gave the baby an entertained grin and then shared a look with Dorota.

"I almost want to cover my ears" she said. "She loves makeup. She's her mother's daughter, that's for sure."

"You look lovely Miss Blair" Dorota said. "I will put baby down in nursery after she has evening bottle."

"Goodnight honey" Blair said and made an air kiss. "Sleep well tonight."

Dorota left the room with the baby and Blair leaned forward to study her face in the mirror. Everything looked just right. She smiled nervously, wondering if this would be another one of those nights that ended in disappointment or if this time her fantasies would actually become reality. She rose from her seat and walked over to her floor-length mirror to study the full effect. Chuck had been able to resist her at prom. She wasn't sure she would let him be able to resist her tonight.

The door opened and Eleanor walked in. She stopped behind Blair and put her hands on her shoulders. Their eyes met in the mirror and Eleanor smiled.

"Are you dressing for someone special?" she asked.

"Yes" Blair admitted nervously.

"Someone whose constant presence in this household would be much appreciated by my little granddaughter?"

Blair's smile got warmer.

"Maybe" she said.

"I say go get him" Eleanor smiled, her arms wrapping around Blair's waist. "If the mere thought of him puts a smile like that on your face I can't very well disapprove."

"I just hope he's ready to love me the way Cyrus loves you" Blair said.

"The way you love him?"

Blair blushed and looked away.

"He's come a long way from the boy who barely seemed to be connecting with his daughter at all" Eleanor said. "A long way from the delinquent kid who got Nate into trouble on a regular basis. He might surprise you."

"He already has" Blair said, her eyes meeting Eleanor's in the mirror. "I'm just… afraid he's not ready to let his guard down and love me."

"Start by telling him how you feel" Eleanor suggested. "If there's one thing I can guarantee you it is that he carries a big torch for you. One of you has to be the first to say something."

"Why does it have to be me?" Blair asked, knowing she sounded like a whiny child. Her resolve was weakening a bit. She had come too close too often and she wasn't sure she could go through that another time.

"It doesn't" Eleanor answered. "But I think you are braver than he is."

"You said I should focus on the baby right now" Blair backtracked.

"You're young and you're in love. Grace adores him. What could you possibly have to lose?" She kissed Blair's hair. "You dressed for him. Now go get him."

Blair couldn't help but giggle. Her mother hugged her tighter, giving her silent support. Blair knew she was right. What did she have to lose? Anything was better than this relationship stalemate.

* * *

Blair walked inside the room filled with her former classmates and the boys from St. Jude's. She didn't see a single one of them, searching the room for Chuck. She spotted him in a corner, talking to a guy she knew he liked to go drinking with. As if he sensed she was there and looking at him his eyes drifted from the guy he was talking to and met hers. He smiled when their eyes met and she smiled back, taking off her coat. She walked across the room and without a word put a hand on his shoulder and gestured with her eyes to another room. He walked off with her while the other guy was in the middle of a sentence.

She opened a door and found the room to be empty so she went inside. He followed and closed the door. She felt unbelievably nervous. He looked so handsome she could barely resist him and judging by the way he looked at her he was feeling something similar.

"Hi" she said.

"Greetings" he replied with an amused smile.

"I want to talk."

"Don't we do enough of that?"

He walked over to the couch on the other end of the room and sat down. She walked over and stopped right in front of him.

"There's one thing we never talk about."

She remained standing but leaned in over him. His hand reached up automatically and landed on her waist, slowly moving down towards her leg. For a moment neither of them spoke. Blair knew her mother had been right before. One of them had to say something. It might as well be her.

"That Gossip Girl blast today…" she said. "It was insulting. To all of us."

"You want to talk Gossip Girl?" he said with disappointment.

"She called me weak" Blair continued. "I will not let her be right about that. I won't be weak anymore..." She swallowed nervously. "What about you? Was she right about you being a coward?"

"You know that's not true" Chuck said, looking offended.

"Do I? All this time Chuck… Since before I had the baby even… The way you've been looking at me… Anyone else would have acted on it months ago. Why haven't you?"

She moved her face closer to his. He looked almost frightened yet at the same time enticed by her. Like he was fighting a battle with himself. She was tired of him fighting that battle. She wanted them both to feel safe.

"Last week you had my scrapbook prom dress made for me" she said. "You made sure I had the perfect prom night even though I stayed home. You held me in your arms and danced with me… Those were not the actions of someone who is merely a friend. I think you are afraid."

"I am not" he said vehemently.

"Then what?" she asked in a whisper. She swallowed again and steadied her voice. "I know you're capable of love. I see it every time you're in the same room with our child. When she was born I know you worried you wouldn't make a good parent but you are one. You're a great, _loving_ father. I know you can love so that is not the problem. Is it me?"

"Blair…"

"I'm right here Chuck" she said, voice barely more than a whisper.

Her hand slowly caressed his cheek. Her face was so close to his but she knew he would be the one to make the first move. She had brought them this far, now he had to take over. She held her breath waiting for him to make his move. And he did. Their noses brushed against each other and then their lips met.

Their phones beeped. Gossip Girl blast.

Nervously they both pulled apart. They each reached for their phones, Chuck finding his first. Blair opened the message and read it, feeling a touch of panic run down her spine. Not this. Not now.

Gossip Girl had posted pictures of her getting a tour of the Yale campus the previous day. Including one where she shook hands with dean Berube. That on its own might not be so bad but unfortunately Gossip Girl had also found out that she had spoken to the dean about which classes she would attend in the fall and made her attendance official.

Chuck looked up at her. There was no trace of desire in his eyes anymore. He just looked at her with coldness.

"Blair what is this?"

"I went to New Haven" she said needlessly. "I wanted to see the campus. Nothing was made official."

"You've seen it before, a number of times. Judging by this you've accepted your spot, gotten a tour of your dorm and made plans for which courses you would take. Sounds pretty damn official to me."

"Chuck I-"

"I cannot believe you" he said. "What is this, some attempt to force my hand? Did you think that by making all the arrangements I would have no choice but to agree to you and the baby moving?"

"No that's not how it is" Blair said.

"Is it not? Then what is it?"

Blair looked at him and swallowed.

"You know what this school means to me" she said. "I'm not prepared to give it up."

"Tell me, what was the plan? You would seduce me and try to get me to agree to this while we were having sex, knowing I would agree to just about anything mid-coitus? Did you think that after prom night I would happily agree to anything you wanted to do? Or was the plan to make me think you wanted _me_ along with Yale and convince me to go to Connecticut as your boyfriend?"

"It's not like that."

"I think it is" Chuck said. "I think you figured that if you started dating me that would solve all your problems. How long did you intend on stringing me along for? Until we were settled in New Haven? What were you going to do then, tell me you don't have time for a relationship, a baby and college and that would be it?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth."

Chuck snorted. He felt betrayed and humiliated and his walls went right back up. He should have known her come-ons were too good to be true. There had been a part of him that was looking out for any sign that she wasn't really as interested in him as she made it seem. This seemed to be exactly that. Her using his feelings for her to further her own agenda.

He shoved her aside and stood up to leave. Blair grabbed his arm.

"I get that you're upset but I wouldn't do something like that to you" she said.

"I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with myself for being such an idiot. One minute you're throwing yourself at my former best friend and the next you act like you're infatuated with me. I should have seen this coming from a mile away. You don't respect me; if you did you wouldn't go to Yale behind my back and make arrangements for this fall. Unless this is your way of saying you're going but Grace stays here with me?"

"You know I won't go to college without her."

"Then we have nothing more to talk about" Chuck said.

He walked past her out the door. She felt tears filling her eyes and sank down on the couch. She didn't know who she was the most angry with. Herself for putting herself in this position yet again. Gossip Girl for sending out that blast at the worst possible time before she had even had a chance to tell him about her trip to New Haven and make him understand what it was about. Or him for jumping on the first opportunity to run away again.

The only thing stopping her from crying bitterly was the knowledge that she would have to go back out there with her classmates. She did her best to pull herself together and walked back outside with her head held high, hoping to find Serena somewhere in the crowd.

* * *

She was just about to leave when she spotted him, standing alone in a corner with an untouched mug of some form of punch in his hand. She wanted to do little more than run home and cry into her pillow. This whole cycle of her getting her hopes up only to have them crushed was wearing her out and it felt cruel to say the least. How many times was she supposed to suffer through this?

Instead of leaving right away she walked up to him. She wasn't quite sure why. Maybe she just didn't want him to have the last word.

"You were wrong" she said to him. "I didn't go to Yale to force your hand. And I didn't put on an act tonight, or when we had our prom."

"End result is the same" Chuck said.

Blair frowned. What did that even mean?

"You may be upset right now but-"

"I don't want to talk to you" he said, sharply turning his head to look at her. Then he looked away again. "But I don't want to fight with you either. I'm leaving the city tonight. If you still want to come out to the Hamptons the offer still stands."

Blair felt like she wanted to slap him. Moments ago he had accused her of coming on to him in order to further her own agenda. Now he was making it sound like he wanted her company when all he wanted was for her to bring the baby. In all likelihood he would be thrilled if she came out with Grace and then went back to the city alone, leaving him with the baby all summer.

"Bring Grace to the Hamptons you mean" she said.

"She's the only one who's ever unconditionally loved me" he said, more to himself than to her, sounding more vulnerable than she had heard him be since Bart's death.

"Chuck…" she said, wanting to reach him.

He didn't want to be reached. Not by her, not right now. He walked right past her, getting lost in the crowd. She looked for him for a minute and then decided to leave. Whatever he was feeling right now it didn't seem like her problem. She would head home and head to bed. Hopefully her daughter would wake up before Blair went to sleep so that she could seek comfort in her presence. She would wait a few days, a week perhaps, so that she and Chuck could both cool off. Then she would pack hers and Grace's things and head out to the Hamptons. And she wouldn't leave there until she and Chuck had straightened a few things out.

* * *

On my tumblr I've posted my current thoughts about the future of this story. If you are curious about my intended future for Chair in this fic or want to know how long I plan on keeping this story going you will find some answers there. There's a link on my profile page.

Please share your thoughts on this chapter in a review =)


	47. Chapter 47

New update! Hope you'll enjoy =)

* * *

"I'm worried about Grace" Blair said with a deep frown when she stepped inside the Hamptons house.

"Well hello to you too" Chuck said, on his way down the stairs. "What's wrong with Grace? Nothing serious I hope."

"She doesn't crawl."

"So?" Chuck asked, taking the baby from her while servants carried about one million bags of Blair's and Grace's things inside.

"What do you mean, so? She's supposed to be crawling."

"There's no such thing as 'supposed to be'" Chuck argued. "Do you want to give her performance anxiety at this tender age?" He then turned his attention to the little one. "Hello. Did you miss Daddy?"

"I read in my baby book that babies start crawling at the age of nine to ten months" Blair said, walking into the sitting room with Chuck in tow. "She's almost ten months old now and she doesn't crawl!"

"Yeah but so what?" Chuck asked, not taking his eyes off the child who was gunning for the sunglasses he had on his head. "You said they start crawling at nine to ten months, and she's not yet ten months, so that means she has more than a month to get to it. Besides, that's the age when _most_ babies start to crawl. Not all of them do."

"Don't tell me, you were a year and a half by the time you figured out how?" Blair said with a joyless smirk.

"Just give her some time, Blair. She doesn't have to be the first at everything or the best at everything."

"I won't let her settle for mediocrity."

"We're talking her first crawl here, not her SAT score. She'll get there in due time."

"The thing is though, she does something else instead of crawling" Blair said. "Here, let me show you."

She took the baby from Chuck, earning her massive protests from the child.

"She wants to stay with me" Chuck said.

"You can have her back in a minute, I just want you to see this."

Blair walked across the room and sat Grace down on the floor.

"Go to Daddy" Blair said. "Grace go to Daddy!"

Chuck knelt down and held out his arms to the baby, encouraging her on. Grace looked up at her mother and sucked on Chuck's sunglasses. Then she looked over at her father, grinned and waved her arms up and down with excitement.

"Oops, better take those sunglasses from her" Chuck said. "She's going to poke her eye out if she's not careful."

Blair grabbed the glasses and Grace shrieked with indignation.

"Okay honey, wear them like Daddy then" Blair said and put the glasses on the baby's head. "Now where is Daddy? Go to Daddy!"

"Come here baby" Chuck coaxed.

Grace, who was sitting up with her legs stretched out in front of her, began to move forward. Though not by crawling, by skipping on her diaper clad rear.

"See?" Blair said. "This can't be normal!"

Chuck barely listened. He was busy laughing and reaching for his phone to take a picture. The bouncing had caused the sunglasses to fall down over Grace's eyes and she sported a huge grin as she bounced towards her father.

"This…" Chuck managed to squeal through his laughter. "This picture is going to be shown at her wedding!"

"Chuck it's not funny" Blair objected.

Chuck continued to laugh and ignored her, having switched from still picture to filming to capture the full awesomeness of what he saw. He was as amused by it as Blair was alarmed. Grace had made it a couple of meters by now and was still going strong. Blair walked slowly behind her, looking highly discouraged.

"I mean, what is _wrong_ with her?" Blair complained.

"Nothing's wrong with her" Chuck said through his laughter. "You go, little girl! Come on, you're getting closer."

"This is going to give her a concussion."

"Nonsense. That's it Grace! Loving your style."

"Chuck stop filming" Blair snarled.

Obediently he put his phone away and held out his arms again.

"Come on Grace, come to me" he said.

When she finally reached him he picked her up and rose off the floor, raising her high up in the air to make her squeal and giggle. Blair frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. Chuck ignored her and raised Grace into the air a couple of more times.

"You see what the problem is, right?" Blair said.

"No, I really don't" Chuck said. "Look at her, how cool does our daughter look wearing my shades?"

"She does look cool" Blair admitted with a faint smile. "But Chuck, she can't crawl. She just… bounces on her ass."

"Yeah, so?"

"So? She's a baby, not a gummibear."

"She will start crawling before you know it, don't worry."

"I do worry. Babies are not supposed to bounce on their asses, they're supposed to crawl on their hands and knees."

"I don't know why you see it as such a big thing" Chuck shrugged. "I see it as a good thing. She can't crawl yet, so she's figured out alternate methods of getting around. She's creative. A problem solver."

"She might hurt herself bouncing around like that."

"Only if you let her roam around without a diaper."

Blair snorted and shook her head.

"I'm going upstairs" she said. "To unpack. Maybe once you stop thinking she looks funny in your glasses you'll come to your senses and realize that this isn't good."

"You go ahead and unpack. Your room is the same as last year's. I'm going to take Grace outside so she can bounce around on the grass."

"Don't forget to put sunblock on her! Actually try to keep her away from the sun all-together, sunblock is far from adequate for a baby."

"See how she trusts me to be able to take good care of you?" Chuck said to the child. "I know you shouldn't be out in the sun. But it's hard to avoid it completely. Did you bring any sunblock for her?" he then asked Blair.

"Yeah, SPF80."

"Your mother is nothing if not extreme" Chuck said to Grace. "Come on, let's get that sunblock on you and then get you outside. How about I get you something to drink between applying the sunblock and sticking our noses out the door? And Daddy bought you a sunhat. You can wear that as well when we go outside."

He walked after Blair to get the sunblock from her, whistling to himself as he went. He was excited that Blair and the baby had finally arrived. He hadn't seen them in almost two weeks but now he would have two months together with them in the Hamptons. Things between him and Blair were complicated but two months would be enough time to get some form of order in their lives and the baby would be there every single day. He couldn't ask for a better summer.

* * *

"Chuck…" Blair said an hour later, walking out into the garden. "We have a problem."

"Oh another one?" Chuck said without looking up. "What is it this time? She doesn't start with the outer spoon when she has a four course meal?"

He was on a blanket on the grass in the shade of a tree, keeping an eye on Grace who was exploring everything around her. It was her first time out in a garden and her first real experience with grass. She was very fascinated by everything around her and her big round eyes stared with awe at everything from grass to flowers to a ladybug Chuck had to stop her from trying to eat.

"It's actually a pretty big one…" Blair said. "Chuck I… I forgot her pacifiers."

Chuck stared up at her with bewilderment.

"What do you mean you _forgot_ her _pacifiers_?"

"I mean I forgot to pack them."

"She has about as many different pacifiers as you have pairs of shoes" Chuck pointed out, sitting himself up. "How do you forget to pack even _one_?"

"I don't know!" Blair said.

"Are you sure about this? They are pretty small. They could have fallen into something, fallen behind something…"

"No Chuck, I'm sure. I've looked everywhere, turned the bags inside out, they're not there! Not one of them."

"She must have had one when you rode out here" Chuck pointed out. "In her mouth."

"No, she was awake the whole ride out here and wasn't crying so I didn't think about it. You saw her when we arrived, she didn't have a pacifier."

"Blair we have a baby who doesn't fall asleep without a pacifier" Chuck pointed out. "And who spends sixty percent of her waking time with a pacifier in her mouth."

"I know! And you don't have any either?"

"What would I do with pacifiers lying around out here?" he asked. "Grace has never been here before. I admit I have my kinky tendencies, but they do not include pacifiers."

Blair made a grossed out face. Chuck took his eyes off her for a second to catch Grace who had begun to jump on her rear in the direction of the hedge.

"What are we going to do?" Blair asked.

"_We_ are not going to do anything" Chuck said. "_You_ are going to go down to the nearest store and buy a new pacifier. Or she won't sleep for two months."

"Can you buy pacifiers at the local grocery store?" Blair asked. "And do we even _want_ a low-grade pacifier for our only child?"

"I think I speak for both Grace and myself when I say that we prefer a low-grade pacifier to no pacifier at all. Either go to the store and get one or head back to the city. Or send Dorota out with a couple."

Blair frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"This holiday is shaping up to suck" she said.

"Yeah, yeah… Speaking of sucking, _go get the baby a pacifier to suck on_."

Grace happily bounced off the blanket again and onto the grass, cheerfully making babbling noises.

"Exactly" Chuck said, reaching out to catch her.

Blair huffed but turned on her heel and strode back inside to get her purse. Chuck glanced nervously at the baby. She had been happy without her pacifier for over an hour now, but he knew that was bound to end sooner or later.

"Seriously Grace, how does one forget to pack the pacifiers?" he asked.

The baby made happy babbling noises and reached for a dandelion the gardener had somehow missed.

"That's what I'm talking about" Chuck said.

He stretched out on his back and kept one eye on the baby, enjoying being near her again. He hadn't seen her in over two weeks but now he had a whole summer with her. Hopefully she would learn to both walk and properly talk before August, even though he knew that might be hoping for too much. He would love to be around for those rather monumental occasions and they still hadn't decided how to work out the logistics for the fall. All he knew for certain right now was that he would be with the baby throughout summer.

"We're going to make this quality time summer, aren't we?" he said to the baby. "You and me together. If Blair thinks she can bogart you out here in the Hamptons then she can guess again. I'm going to be spending most of summer trying to teach you how to walk and talk. Blair can have you when it's time to change your diapers. For that matter, Blair can get the honor of potty-training you. I'll stick to the fancier stuff."

Grace grabbed a fistful of grass and pulled it up from the ground. She stared at it with awe and then put it in her mouth. Chuck quickly sat up and grabbed her tiny little hand.

"Basses are not vegetarians" he said.

As gently as he could he removed the grass from her mouth but Grace did not like it one bit and began to cry.

"Grace no, don't cry" Chuck said. "Shit…"

He stood up and scooped her up into his arms, bouncing her gently up and down while shushing her. This was what he had been afraid of. Now he had a crying baby and no pacifiers to help calm her down.

"You're okay" he said. "Come on dearie, you don't need to cry, do you? No, we don't need to cry and we definitely don't need pacifiers."

Grace did not agree. Her screaming just got louder and louder and Chuck headed inside with her to be able to pounce on Blair once she walked through the door. Hopefully that would be any minute now.

"I cannot believe she didn't pack a single pacifier" he mumbled under his breath. "Out of all the things you could forget… It's probably a miracle that she remembered to bring _you_. Stop crying Grace, _please_."

He knew it was futile. He walked back and forth between the patio and the front door, wondering how it could possibly take so long to find a store and purchase a pacifier. Was Blair giving serious consideration to which pacifier went with the baby's outfits, or what other possible reason did she have for being so tardy?

"Come on Grace…" he said as soothingly as he could. "You're okay. It wasn't so bad, was it? I didn't hurt you, did I? No…"

Grace kept crying. He looked around to find something that might work as a pacifier substitute but he didn't even know what type of things to be looking for. He spotted his sunglasses sitting on a table by the patio doors and walked over to pick them up.

"Grace, look at this. Look, do you see?"

He held up the glasses and caught Grace's interest. She stopped crying for a second and reached out for the glasses. He let her take them and kissed the top of her head, praying she would keep quiet. She did, but only for a few seconds.

Thankfully the door opened ten minutes later and Blair walked in. Chuck gave her a pointed look and hurried up to her.

"Wouldn't you know, a _pacifier_ is needed" he said.

"Oh, what happened?"

"What happened is she's a baby and you forgot her pacifiers."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"I'm not loving the attitude" she said.

"Just give me the thing, alright?"

"What, just like that? Fresh from the store? Have you lost your mind?"

She strode past him into the kitchen where she proceeded to fill a pot with water and place it on the stove. He followed and wrinkled his forehead as she got the new pacifier and held it by the stove.

"What is the point of this?"

"I'm not giving it to my child before it's been properly boiled" Blair said.

"Good grief…"

Blair ignored him and focused on the baby instead but it didn't seem to make a difference to Grace that her mother had come back. Once the water was boiling Blair dropped the pacifier into the pot.

"Did she get hurt out there?" she asked worriedly.

"No, I just stopped her from eating grass and she began to cry."

"Oh Gracie, Waldorfs aren't vegetarians" Blair said.

She used a fork to fish the pacifier up from the water and ran it under the faucet to cool it off. Then she stuck it in her own mouth to make sure it was okay.

"Okay, here" she said, handing it to Chuck.

He took the pacifier from her and gently put it in the baby's mouth.

"There you go, dearie…" he said.

Grace instantly began to suck on the pacifier and her crying ceased. Chuck breathed a sigh of relief and placed a hand on the back of her head.

"Much better" Blair smiled.

She turned back to the pot and put another pacifier into the water. Chuck noticed she had bought a whole bunch, which was just as well.

"I'm starting to become a real parent" he mused. "She was crying non-stop and nothing I did or said seemed to work but I didn't want to hand her off to someone else."

Blair smiled.

"I think she really missed you" she said.

"I really missed her."

"Feeling better now, baby?" Blair asked Grace, gently caressing her wet cheek.

"Yeah, but I think she's had enough of the great outdoors for one day" Chuck said. "Let's stay inside for a while now."

* * *

"I had a nursery prepared for her" Chuck said, leading the way up the stairs. "Arranged according to the guidelines of child safety considering that she's getting to the age where she's going to be everywhere at once."

"You've thought of everything" Blair smiled. "Except buying pacifiers."

"Let me know what you think."

He walked inside a guest bedroom across the hall from the one he had had prepared for Blair. Blair smiled when she saw the nursery. He hadn't gone all-out since the baby would only be there for a few months but there was a toy chest, a crib, stuffed animals, a changing table and various other baby paraphernalia. Chuck carried Grace over to the crib and nodded to the mobile hanging above it.

"I even got new mobiles" he said. "How do you like this one Grace? Look, it's got Disney babies. Here's Goofy…"

He grabbed the baby Goofy plushie hanging from the mobile and showed it to her, earning a grin that made the pacifier fall out of her mouth. He then showed her Pluto which made her laugh, followed by Mickey whom she only frowned at and then Donald who made her squeal happily.

"I think she likes it" Blair said.

"I have a proposition" Chuck said, grabbing one half of the baby monitor sitting on a shelf near the crib. "We take the monitor on alternate nights. Or alternate weeks, whichever you'd prefer. That way we both get to sleep undisturbed half the time and we both get to tend to Grace half the time. Sounds fair?"

"Sounds great" Blair said. "I think I should have it tonight. This is a whole new environment for her and as much as I know she loves you I think it will be good if I'm the one who tends to her tonight if she wakes up."

"I was going to suggest you spend the first night sleeping on the couch over there" Chuck said, nodding to the couch he had put in instead of the bed. "She'll probably be more likely to adapt to this new environment if you're nearby."

"You did think of everything."

"Except pacifiers."

He grinned at her and she grinned right back. Then Chuck looked down at the yawning baby in his arms.

"It's not yet her bedtime" he said. "She seems exhausted though."

"She missed her nap" Blair replied. "I'm surprised she isn't throwing a fit. There's been so much excitement for her today, no wonder she needs to sleep."

"Then how about Daddy go get her ready for bed before she passes into the overly-tired stage" Chuck suggested, kissing the baby's brow.

"Sounds like a plan to me" Blair smiled. "I'll go get her bags from my room."

Chuck nodded and carried Grace over to the changing table. A mobile with ponies hung above it and he gave it a spin as he laid the child down.

"Cute horses, huh?" he said. "Your grandfather used to have horses out here. Maybe someday we'll get new ones and you can learn how to ride."

Grace studied the mobile with interest, her fist shoved in her mouth, while Chuck took off her day clothes. Blair returned with a large bag and began to unpack all sorts of things for Grace, handing Chuck a pajamas for her to wear during her first night in the Hamptons. Chuck began to dress the baby in it and was slightly surprised by how cooperative she was being. Lately she had been squirming about whenever she was on the changing table, making dressing and diaper changes quite the challenge.

"If you want a lullaby you'll have to talk to her" Chuck said to Grace, nodding in Blair's direction. "Though it seems to me all you need is about three minutes of being rocked and you'll be sleeping soundly."

"She didn't get a night bottle" Blair remarked. "Though she did eat just about an hour ago. I suppose she can do without one."

"I'll go brush her teeth before she really does fall asleep" Chuck said.

He took the toothbrush Blair handed him and walked out to find the bathroom, his daughter already half-asleep over his shoulder. He almost wished she would stay awake for just a little longer but he knew he had countless of evenings with her ahead of him. She really was exhausted tonight, she needed her sleep. They would have all day tomorrow together and every other day for the rest of the summer.

* * *

Chuck walked out into the hallway heading for the nursery to check and see if Blair and Grace were up yet. He stopped when he heard laughter from Blair's room. A little confused he walked over and pushed the door open. He found Blair in bed with Grace sitting on top of the duvet. Blair herself was underneath the duvet and held up a bit of it which she then ducked under. Grace made a face like this was the most thrilling mystery of all time and then rather wobbly leaned forward and pulled the duvet down to reveal her mother. She shrieked with excitement and when Blair said: "_peek-a-boo_" the baby threw her head back and laughed.

This was repeated twice while Chuck watched, his grin growing wider by the second. Then he harked to made his presence known and walked up to them.

"Ladies" he said. "Good morning."

"Good morning" Blair smiled.

"How did you two end up in here?" Chuck asked, getting up on the bed.

"Grace woke up an hour ago and needed a new diaper and I was done sleeping on that stupid couch" Blair said. "We went here to snooze for a while but playing peek-a-boo was so much more fun."

"You are definitely a morning person" Chuck said to Grace, tousling her curls. "You don't get that from me. It takes someone really special to make me look that happy at this hour."

"Mommy is special" Blair said, leaning closer to rub her nose against Grace's before hiding behind the duvet again.

Chuck gasped in mock surprise.

"Where did Mommy go?"

Grace leaned over again and pulled the duvet down, still shrieking happily when she found Blair. Chuck got down behind her, placing his hand on her to steady her and watched with a laugh as Blair and Grace continued their game. The baby never seemed to get tired of it and was as thrilled every time.

"Okay, this is enough for now" Blair finally chuckled after a while. "We can play another round tonight."

Grace turned around and more or less fell down on Chuck. With a big grin she reached out her hand to grab whatever part of his face she could reach first.

"Bababababababa" she said.

"Yes honey, that is Dada" Blair confirmed. "I think she's really missed you."

"Nobody's going to be missing anybody all summer" Chuck smiled. He grabbed Grace and sat up slightly, pulling her in for an embrace. "You are so precious. Who knew someone so little could be this charming, huh?"

"If I do say so myself I'm pretty charming" Blair said. "And there's no doubt you are. You can't fight genetics."

Chuck turned the baby around so that she faced Blair and lifted her up a little.

"I'm the baby, gotta love me" he said, wiggling Grace a little which made her laugh more.

Blair laughed and shook her head, reaching out her hand to caress the baby's cheek.

"Bababa" Grace said.

"Yes" Blair nodded. "Or as someone else would say… Not the mama, not the mama."

"I think that's enough quotes for one morning" Chuck smirked, putting the baby back down on the duvet.

Blair's stomach growled loudly and Chuck laughed at the embarrassed look on her face.

"Hungry, are we?"

"Never mind me" Blair said. "Grace hasn't eaten yet and she didn't have her night bottle yesterday. She's got to be starving."

"I know my girl pretty well by now" Chuck argued. "If she were starving we would damn sure know it. But you have a point. We should all have some breakfast. Stay here and I'll have someone bring us breakfast in bed."

"Breakfast in bed?" Blair echoed, eyebrow raised. "You want to let a nine-month-old eat breakfast in bed?"

"In _your_ bed" Chuck specified, getting up carefully, trying to not tip the baby over.

As he got up and walked for the door Grace began to cry. Blair scooped her up in her embrace and shushed her.

"Told you she was starving."

"I'm on a breakfast mission" Chuck responded, hurrying out the door to go downstairs and have someone send them up food.

Blair studied Grace with an eyebrow raised and smirked at her.

"What do you think?" she said. "Breakfast in bed, just the three of us? If we're not careful we're going to start to look like a proper family."

After a while Chuck returned with a large trey, followed by a servant carrying another trey along with a bib. Chuck took a seat next to Blair on the bed and grabbed the bib to put it on Grace.

"I didn't know what you wanted so I had the chef make a little of everything" he shrugged to Blair. Then he turned to the baby to put her bib on- "As for you miss peek-a-boo, oatmeal porridge is on the menu."

"Yum" Blair said, even though she hated oatmeal.

Chuck pulled Grace into his lap and tried his best to feed her breakfast while getting something to eat for himself. Blair made herself comfortable right next to them, smiling from ear to ear as she ate parts of the omelet and a slice of toast. She was enjoying this more than she probably should. She and Chuck had not left things in a good way back in New York but from the moment she had arrived yesterday it seemed like all of that was forgotten about. Chuck was in a spectacular mood and Grace seemed very content. Not a syllable had been spoken of Yale or what had happened on graduation and even though Blair knew the subject would be brought up sooner rather than later she decided to forget about it for the moment and just enjoy herself. They all deserved a day or two of blissful family times even if they weren't exactly a real family.

She leaned forward and kissed her baby's oatmeal-covered cheek, wishing moments like these could last just a little longer.

* * *

"You never got a proper tour yesterday" Chuck said to Grace, walking into the downstairs sitting room with the baby in his arms. "This is our Hamptons house. Only a few rooms have been baby-proofed so in most rooms you're only allowed to enter in the arms of an adult. Or Mom or me. Come, let me show you around properly."

He walked around with the baby, showing her every room, mostly just to have an excuse to be with her and not hand her over to Blair who had gone out to sit by the pool. They reached Bart's office and Chuck stopped once inside, looking around the room in silence. He had barely ever been in this room, knowing better than to bother his father while he was working. It dawned on him how much time Bart had spent in this office working while they were supposed to be on summer vacation.

"This room was like a sanctuary" he said to the baby. "Your grandfather used to spend so much time here and he didn't like it much when I was in here. I was either ruining his concentration or creating a mess or something else that didn't do well with business." He thoughtfully bit his bottom lip. "When I'm running Bass Industries I'm going to make sure that I don't work all around the clock. When I'm here with you I'm going to spend much more time playing with you by the pool or playing croquet or going with you to the beach than going over boring business files and having phone-conferences. If I ever spend too much time in here I hope you will come and bother me and remind me of what's more important." He gave his daughter a kiss, then he sighed. "To be fair I think Bart sometimes thought he was working so hard for me, to give me a good legacy. I want the company to be a success for your sake so I know where he was coming from. But what's the point in spending all your energy on a stupid company instead of enjoying time with your child, huh?"

He realized he was rambling. He took another look around and inhaled slowly before he left his spot by the door and walked further inside. He half expected Bart to come walking in, telling him not to hang around his office. This room had mostly been off-limits to him his whole life and it felt so strange to be there without seeing his father by the desk or speaking on the phone or searching through a book or a file by the bookshelf. This room was completely connected to Bart and it was spooky not seeing him there.

"I don't know Grace…" he said. "Should I keep this room just the way it is? When someone has an untimely death their family tends to keep their room just the way they left it. If there was any room that was decidedly _his_ it would be this one. Or should I redo it completely and turn it into something else? Like a playroom for you perhaps? What do you think, kiddo?" He stopped by the desk and looked around yet again. "I think that's what I'm going to do. I don't want to preserve a room like this in homage to him. We did have good times together out here and none of them happened in this office. I don't want to remember my father only as a business man who never had time for me. I'd rather remember the things we did do together."

He walked around the desk, seeing the room from that point of view for the first time in as long as he could remember. He looked down at the desk his father had spent so much time sitting by. There were no work documents lying around, Bart had always been careful to put things like that away and not leave it lying. His desk here was oddly enough a lot less personal than the one in his office at the Palace, having only one framed picture taken the day of his wedding to Lily, featuring the bride, groom and children.

Chuck spotted something sticking out from underneath the desktop cover. Curious he carefully pulled it out and studied it with surprise. It was a sonogram picture. Chuck didn't remember Blair ever showing it to Bart and he knew for sure he had never shown his father one himself. Then again there had been some weird bonding going on between his father and baby mama last summer.

"Why would he keep this practically hidden away?" Chuck mused. He held up the sonogram picture to the baby. "Look at this Grace. The first time you had your picture taken. You look a little like a beakless chicken. I'm not going to lie, you weren't so cute when you were a fetus. Just look at that giant head! No don't put the picture in your mouth, we should preserve this. Frame it, or something. Your grandfather was a big fan of yours. I would have never in a million years guessed he would keep a sonogram picture in his office. You meant a lot to him before you were even born. Seriously Grace, what was your secret?" He put the sonogram picture back down and hid it the way it had been before. "I suppose he wouldn't mind having this room turned into your new play room. Even if he does mind, he's dead. What's he going to do, haunt me? Come on sweetie, let's get out of here."

He walked out of the room again, feeling a huge relief once they were across the threshold. His cheerful mood from that morning was gone though and his mind was full of thoughts of his father. It felt so bitter knowing he would never get to see him again.

"It's so weird, dearie…" he said to the baby. "This whole house reminds me of Bart, much more so than the penthouse in the city. You have no idea how much I wish your grandfather was still alive. We could probably have had a blast here this summer, don't you think? You would have definitely been able to lure him out from his office and we could have enjoyed a summer like a real family. I wish he could have gotten to know you better and see who you turn out to be. I hate that you have probably already forgotten him. You were so little when he died. You should have seen the way he held you and talked to you… It was enough to make me jealous."

He continued the tour of the house though with much less enthusiasm than before. Then he walked upstairs with Grace and sat down with her on his bed. He knew it was time for Grace to have lunch and then a nap but he was reluctant to get started with it. Once he went downstairs to the kitchen Blair would probably come inside and his alone time with the baby would be over. He was a bit uncomfortable around Blair after what had happened at graduation even though he sometimes managed to forget it when they were both with the baby.

"I'll confess to you Grace I was a bit anxious about the two of you coming out here for the entire summer" he said. "Things between your mother and me could easily become very uncomfortable and if they do summer is quite long. You know for a while there I thought she might really care for me. Was I an idiot?"

He definitely felt like one. Studying his child he thought about the interactions he had had with the child's mother during the last weeks of high school. Blair had given him every sign that she reciprocated his feelings. He just didn't dare to trust it. He couldn't see how someone like her could be in love with someone like him. She had spent the better part of her pregnancy and the time directly following assuring him that he was the last person she would ever fall in love with and that he was good for sex and babysitting but little more than that. How was he now supposed to trust that she saw him as much more than that?

"Your mother is the most amazing woman I know" he told the baby. "But let's be real. She's not above manipulating people to get her way and she's not above using shady tricks. She dated Nate then all of a sudden she seemed head over heels for me, doesn't that seem just a little odd? Honestly Grace. She went to Yale to meet with the dean and make arrangements for the fall. I know how much she wants to go. I don't doubt that she would let me think she loves me in order to get me to agree to her plans and let her have things their way."

Grace reached for the iPod Chuck had thrown on his bedspread earlier and made an annoyed sound when she couldn't reach it.

"What? You take offense to me saying that about her? It does sound rather cruel, doesn't it? But it sounds more plausible than the idea of her being in love with me. Why would she be? She's Blair Waldorf. She can have any guy she wants even though she's the mother of an infant. She knows all my dark sides and has seen much of the worst in me. I must be out of my mind thinking she could ever love me."

His fundamental problem was that he didn't think he was loveable or worthy of someone's love. He knew his daughter loved him and one of his biggest fears was turning out to be someone who didn't deserve that love. He saw her as the one person whose love he could have without earning it since he knew from experience that no matter how bad a parent your father was you still loved him. That made her special and it made her the person whose love he most wanted to deserve.

Blair came in close second. He wanted to be loved by her and when they first started out he had believed he would be. His confidence had been high and he had figured that since he was Chuck Bass she would sooner or later fall in love with him. When she instead had run back to Nate he had begun to view things differently. Then when she had come back to him after her pregnancy became known he had realized she was only turning to him because he was the last one left and she was possibly pregnant with his child. For the duration of her pregnancy he had tried to be there for her and show her he was more than just the delinquent no-good his reputation claimed that he was but it hadn't worked. She had made it abundantly clear that she preferred Nate and that he might be good in bed and good to talk to but he wasn't boyfriend material. His confidence had been shaken even further.

Then Grace had been born and he had been tormented by his inability to connect with her and love her. Blair had begun to show more interest in him but it hadn't been enough to counter the previous happenings or his inability to feel like a parent, not to mention the way it made him feel when Bart so easily had loved the baby. The only conclusion he had been able to draw was that the problem was him.

"Why would Blair fall in love with me?" he said in a low voice, as much to himself as to Grace. "Women like her love guys like Nate. Guys who are genuinely likeable. I know I sound harsh when I say I think she was stringing me along for her own purposes but…"

He sighed and moved Grace around so that she was sitting on the bed facing him. She looked a little surprised and was starting to fuss, probably wondering why her lunch hadn't been served yet.

"Nobody has ever wanted me" he said quietly. "Not even my dad. You know how that feels, don't you?"

Grace stuck her fist in her mouth and offered no response.

"Chuck?" Blair's voice came from downstairs.

"Don't tell her what I told you" Chuck said to the baby.

"Chuck?" Blair's voice came again, closer this time. "Are you here?"

The door opened and she came walking in, wearing a red bikini, a sun hat and a confused expression. Chuck looked up at her and realized that summer would indeed be very long. She looked far too delectable in her swimwear and if she continued to dress in things like that he would have a hard time not submitting to his urges.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Grace needs lunch."

"I was just about to take her downstairs."

He rose from the bed and lifted the fussy baby up. There was no doubt she was hungry and probably in need of a nap as well. He walked past Blair, careful not to touch her. She reached out her hand and put it on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Hey…" she said gently, wondering why he was acting different. "Maybe… Maybe we should talk. About… what happened. You know. At graduation."

"Let's not" he said coldly. "It's in the past. I'd rather not dwell. We had a good time last night and a great time this morning. Let's keep that up."

Blair frowned but let him go. She followed right behind him as he headed downstairs to get lunch. She had thought they would be able to talk since things had been going so smoothly since they arrived. But it seemed he had employed a defense strategy of ignoring the problem in hopes that it would go away. She had no desire to ignore it, she wanted them to work things out. But perhaps the smartest strategy was to leave it be for now and just enjoy themselves. If the past twenty-four hours were any indication they would be having an amazing time together this summer in spite of what happened earlier and would only grow closer each day. She could disarm him this way and approach the subject again when he felt better and more relaxed. She hadn't been trying to force his hand with Yale and she needed him to know that. She loved him and she needed him to know that too. Most of all she needed to know that he felt the same way about her.

She took a seat in the kitchen and let him prepare Grace's lunch. She wanted to comment on how he had waited for too long to feed the baby which was evident by how cranky she was but she decided to leave well enough alone. Criticizing him was not the way to disarm him and make him feel more relaxed.

"What are your plans for the afternoon?" she asked.

"Most of my plans this summer will be about this little one" he answered, nodding to Grace before putting a plate down in front of her.

"She's not the best company when she's napping. It's a beautiful day outside. Want to join me by the pool?"

He sat down and began to feed Grace and avoided looking at Blair. On one hand spending the afternoon with her out by the pool would be great. On the other he didn't know if he could stand the feeling of not knowing what her real agenda was. They were having a great time when they were with their daughter, perhaps it was pushing their luck to interact outside of that.

Then again if she had been trying to play him she might think he was weak if he shied away from her.

"I had been thinking about working on my tan" he said casually. "Why don't you go back outside and keep working on yours? I can feed Grace and put her down for her nap on my own. I'll be out when I'm done."

"Okay" Blair said, rising from her seat. "I'm just going to grab a sandwich for myself."

"There's some of that bread that you like in the cabinet" Chuck said.

Blair cast him a glance and then got to work making her sandwich. By the time she was done and started eating it Grace had finished her lunch but was still in a bad mood. Chuck dried off her face and lifted her up to take her upstairs. Blair watched him go and ate her sandwich standing by the counter, wondering if he would be able to get Grace to go to sleep fast and then come downstairs to have lunch himself. The prospect of spending the afternoon with him out by the pool made her smile a little and she thought about different subjects they could talk about. Whatever they had become over the years they were friends at the start and as such they should be able to talk about all sorts of things.

When her sandwich was gone and he hadn't come back downstairs she cleaned up after Grace's lunch. When he still didn't come down she decided to go wait for him outside. After almost thirty minutes he came out and she looked up with a smile. However he sat down on a sunchair several yards away from her and put his earphones in, clearly signaling that he wasn't up for conversation. Disappointed she turned her face back towards the sun and closed her eyes. The fact that he didn't want to hang with her without the baby being present was a downer but she wouldn't let it get to her. They still had all summer ahead of them and she had no doubts she would be able to charm him sooner or later.

* * *

Many of the babies I've known have skipped on their rears like Grace does here, instead of crawling. It looks adorable =)

Going by the response I've gotten thus far I'm probably going to wrap this up by chapter 50. I can't say I've accomplished what I wanted with the story, which was the chronicle larger parts of the baby's childhood, but in the rate this is going that would probably require hundreds of chapters. The original plan was for each year of the baby's life to be covered in three or four chapters but that plan went right out the window somewhere along the line ;) In all likelihood the story will get an official ending and I can write the rest for myself if I feel like it =) Thanks to everyone who's given me their input! I very much appreciate it.

In other news I'm going on a nice little vacation now so it might be a while before I post the next chapter (and possibly reply to reviews)! In the meantime how about giving me your opinion on this chapter? ;)


	48. Chapter 48

Vacation is over. Time to go back to work. Not entirely sure how I feel about that ;)

I'm not entirely caught up with replying to reviews and PMs just yet but I decided to post this anyway. It's not been properly proof-read and it's kind of uneven but I hope you'll enjoy it!

* * *

Blair stretched out on the blanket and sighed contently. Yet another day that felt like near perfection. When had she ever enjoyed a summer this much? Especially considering that she hadn't really done much of anything. No exciting parties, no crazy adventures, no trips abroad. Just day after day of enjoying life with her two favorite people.

One was asleep in a bassinette in the shade under a tree a few feet away. The other was lying next to her, stretched out just like she was. Close enough to touch if she wanted to reach out her hand.

"What do you think Blair?" Chuck said musingly. "Will today be the day we actually do something?"

A smile crept across her face.

"Do something about what?"

"Do anything at all other than lie around on the grass and play with the baby."

"And here I thought you were flirting with me."

She smiled and glanced over at him. He grinned and lifted up his sunglasses to allow their eyes to meet.

"Now that I know that the lady desires to be flirted with I might give it some consideration" he said and winked.

Blair giggled. Their banter had been free of their usual put-downs and sarcasms and filled with various kinds of innuendos and flirtations for the past two weeks. It was rather miraculous given how things had ended between them on graduation last month. Maybe it was the bright weather that did it. Chuck seemed so much more relaxed out here than in the city. Or maybe her plan to disarm him was working. Whatever it was she was enjoying it to the fullest.

"If the weather hadn't been so lovely I would have suggested a movie marathon" she said. "We could have curled up with blankets on the couch and watched movies all day long. Grace has only seen '_Breakfast at Tiffany's_' and needs to expand on her knowledge. We could show her '_Cinderella_'."

"I think Grace is too little to understand much of the movies we watch" Chuck said. "But if you're interested in fairytales I have an x-rated version of '_Little Red Ridinghood_' on DVD out here somewhere."

"Chuck!" Blair said with all the indignation she could muster, but she couldn't keep herself from laughing.

"What is all this merriment?" a cheerful voice asked.

Blair and Chuck both sat up and took off their sunglasses in one coordinated motion. Serena stood by their blanket with a big smile on her face and shorts that were so short they were barely there. Before Blair could comment on her wardrobe Serena had walked over to the bassinette and peaked down at the sleeping child.

"How can she sleep when you two are making so much noise?" Serena asked sunnily and walked back up to the blanket.

"No one's making noise" Blair said.

"Mind if I take a seat?" Serena asked, already sitting down.

"When did you get here?" Chuck asked with a puzzled frown.

"Just now."

"I thought you were in Europe" Blair said.

"I was. I'm only here over the weekend. I need some stuff from my Mom's place."

"Okay" Blair said, not really understanding what was going on.

"And need I say I was surprised to walk out here and find the two of you cooing at each other like little-"

"When did you say you were going back to Europe?" Chuck cut her off, offended at having been claimed to coo.

"Touchy subject" Serena grinned.

Grace woke up in her bassinette and began to cry. Blair made a face.

"Guess she can't sleep through all noise" she said while Chuck got up.

"Aw, bring her here, let me hold her for a moment" Serena said.

"Mind if I change her diaper first?" Chuck asked, leaning over the bassinette to pick his daughter up.

"Aw, look how _big_ she's gotten" Serena cooed. "Hi baby G! Auntie's little sweetie. How have you been?"

Chuck smiled and kissed Grace's forehead. She stopped crying and reached out to grab his sunglasses. Serena cooed some more over the sight and Chuck laughed good-naturedly.

"First she stole my scarf and now she wants my sunglasses" he remarked. "I think she's trying to take over my life."

"She likes anything that reminds her of her daddy" Blair smiled.

Serena grinned at Blair and raised an eyebrow which Blair ignored.

"I'll leave you two old hags here for a while and take the young lady inside for a diaper change" Chuck said with a grin. "See you both in a while. Come on Grace."

Blair watched them go with a warm smile on her face. Then she remembered Serena's presence and turned to look at her. Serena was grinning widely, still with an eyebrow raised. Blair frowned.

"What?"

"Looks like you're having all sorts of happy times with Chuck this summer" Serena pointed out.

"Don't be ridiculous. What makes you think that?"

"The goofy infatuated smile on your face."

"That is not a goofy infatuated smile" Blair argued. "It's the smile of a loving, nurturing mother who is pleased to see her baby's father taking such an active interest."

"He's been taking active interest for like six months."

"Well Grace alone is enough to make me smile."

"Come on Blair" Serena said. "Something's going on. Are you two…"

She let the question hang in the air. Blair pretended not to understand what she was alluding to. She reached over to the basket sitting by the blanket and fished out a bottle of sunscreen which she then began to apply to her forearms.

"It has been an amazing summer thus far" she admitted. "Grace is so happy out here. I've never seen her like this. She's always bubbly and joyful now… Chuck and I spend almost all our time with her. It's like we're a real family and it's nice."

"It sounds nice" Serena said. "And you look happy. So does Chuck."

"He's practically ecstatic" Blair said. "He's never gotten to be with Grace every day of the week before, not like this. He's had such a rough year, I'm glad he gets to be happy for a while. He needs it."

"You both have had a rough year" Serena pointed out. "Having a baby at seventeen is not easy but somehow you've managed just fine. Now you deserve to have some leisure time out in the Hamptons together."

"You make it sound like we're on vacation from being parents" Blair said. She then laughed a little. "You know, last year I was sitting out by the pool fully set on making the most out of my last free summer. I tried to picture what the following summer would be like and all I saw was being unable to do things I like because there'd be a baby to look after. Now I sometimes wonder what I was doing a year ago that was in any way better than trying to teach Grace to walk or getting-"

"Oh my God, Grace started walking?" Serena asked in a gasp, excitedly clapping her hands together.

"No" Blair admitted. "Not yet. She does… something else instead. I don't want to talk about it. Hopefully she'll be walking soon though."

"She's gotten so big" Serena said. "It seems like just a few weeks ago she couldn't even sit up on her own."

"She does grow fast" Blair nodded. "Can you believe she's almost a year old?" She gazed thoughtfully up towards the house. "Chuck is keeping his fingers crossed she'll take her first steps before she's a year old. He was an early walker himself so he's hoping she takes after him in that regard."

"What does it matter really when she takes her first steps?" Serena wondered, pulling up strains of grass with her fingers.

"If she walks for the first time out here he's got a better chance of being there to see it" Blair said.

"Oh."

Blair kept looking up to the house, wondering when Chuck and Grace would be back. She was happy to see Serena but at the same time she was glad to hear she would be leaving again soon. She was thoroughly enjoying her summer with Chuck and the baby and with Serena around it wasn't quite the same.

"What about the stuff that happened at graduation?" Serena asked. "You guys have worked it out?"

"No…" Blair said evasively.

"Blair. Come on you have to talk about it."

"We have to do nothing" Blair said. "Right now things are going great. Let's not rock the boat, shall we?"

"You can't keep _almost_ getting together" Serena said with a snort, stretching her long legs out. "Either get busy or get over each other."

"Thank you S, I'll take your wisdom into consideration" Blair said dryly. "Now shush, here come Chuck and Grace."

"She's all yours to smother, Aunt Serena" Chuck said as he reached their blanket. "Though I will insist you sit in the shade if you want to play with her. We're trying to keep her out of direct sunlight."

Serena got up and took the baby from Chuck, carrying her over to the shade of the trees. Grace complained at first, a bit shy of Serena after having not seen her for over a month. But when Serena sat down on the grass and tickled her she began to laugh. Chuck sat down next to Blair and smiled crookedly, sharing a look with her. Blair felt her heart beat a little faster at his look. He seemed to be as unexcited about Serena's presence as she was. The idea of him wanting to be alone with her and the baby without disturbances from friends and family gave her hope. With a bit of luck Serena would soon be on her way back to Europe and they could continue their summer and their slow process of growing closer.

* * *

Serena watched with a disapproving eyebrow raised as Grace ate what was on her plastic plate in a very messy fashion. Rice had flown everywhere and some form of gravy was all over the baby's face. Grace babbled cheerfully while she ate, having discarded her spoon and employed her hands to get the food from the plate to her mouth. For the most part of the meal Blair had been feeding her but they had begun to let her eat the last bits of her meals herself to train her in eating on her own and while the baby had trouble using the spoon she was enthusiastic enough about the new game that she managed to get food in herself anyway.

"Is she always so… messy?" Serena asked.

"It's totally gross" Chuck said. "I miss the times when she couldn't feed herself. Though I find it debatable to say that she can feed herself now, I mean just look at her."

"She's not gross" Blair frowned.

"I didn't say _she_ was" Chuck pointed out. "But the way she has food everywhere, it's just a mess. Is that rice in her water? That sort of stuff just grosses me out."

"Weakling" Blair snorted.

"Blair you can't tell me you think this is nice?" Serena said. "I mean look at her, she's a complete mess! You've always made disgusted faces at messy babies before."

"Fine, so I don't like the mess" Blair said.

"Right" Chuck nodded. "No one does."

"But I mean, look at her" Blair said with a smile. "She's so adorable. And so happy! Other people's babies are just gross when they're in this stage but Gracie is so cute I want to pick her up and kiss her all over."

"Even with the rice and the gravy?" Serena asked skeptically.

"Yes Serena, even with the rice and gravy" Blair said, rolling her eyes. She leaned closer to Grace. "You're so cute. Mommy could just eat you up!"

"With a side of rice and gravy" Chuck commented, taking a seat at the table.

"Daddy's an idiot" Blair cooed.

"Yeah, okay, I get it" Serena frowned. "You think she's adorable. Charming. But can you go get a napkin or something?"

Blair nodded to Chuck who got up and went to get something to wipe the baby's face with. He returned and made a valiant effort to clean her up but it wasn't so easy since she tried to push his hands away and move her face out of the way.

"I do long for when she reaches the stage when she appreciates being clean" Blair said.

"She enjoys bathing" Chuck pointed out.

"Well there's that…"

Chuck managed to wipe most of the food off of Grace and took a seat. He had barely sat down when Grace picked her plate up and turned it over sideways to lick it clean. The food that was left on it went every which way, including her face. Serena looked grossed out again and Chuck groaned.

"Still think she's adorable?" Serena asked Blair.

"You know what?" Blair said with a smile. "I do."

"I miss bitchy Blair" Serena sighed. "Blair who thinks this is adorable is a person I don't know how to relate to."

"Since Mommy thinks you're so adorable right now she can take care of the next adorable diaper change" Chuck said and took the plate from Grace. "That's enough for you. Don't you ever get full?"

Grace burped in response and Serena made another face.

"Where's Dorota with the camera?" Chuck smirked. "This is such a great time to collect future leverage. If she doesn't do what we want her to do we'll show pictures of her looking like this to all her friends."

"There will be no pictures" Blair frowned. "We've been over this."

"Where's your vision?" Chuck asked, rinsing the plate before putting it in the dishwasher. "Your sense of planning?"

"No pictures of my baby looking like this" Blair said, using another napkin to try and wipe Grace's face.

"What's the big deal?" Serena had to ask. "You said you think she's adorable even with food all over herself."

"_I_ find her adorable like this" Blair said. "But even her own father seems to think she's gross. There will be no photo evidence of these moments for people to frown at."

"That's the whole point of leverage" Chuck said. "We hold it over her head and make her do what we want her to do _or else_ we show these pictures to others."

"Twenty-first century parenting" Serena commented dryly.

"Ugh, trying to clean her up with this is no use" Blair said, tossing the napkin on the table. "It's all over her by now. Come on Gracie, let's get you a bath."

"Do her meals usually end with her needing a bath?" Serena asked.

"You're being awfully critical of my baby" Chuck said, sitting down opposite her.

Serena shrugged. Blair left the room with the child, leaving them alone. Chuck leaned back in his chair and studied his stepsister with interest.

"What have you been up to so far sis?" he asked. "Hectic summer?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Serena said and looked away. Then she turned back to him with an eyebrow raised. "What about your summer thus far? You and Blair look…"

"You can save it" Chuck said. "I know you like to think there's something going on between Blair and I but there isn't."

"I didn't say anything."

"You hint at it."

"I just don't get how you can go from where you were on prom night to not having gotten halfway through the Kama Sutra by now."

"Sex is your answer to everything."

"Yeah, we used to have that in common" Serena said dryly.

"After what happened on graduation it's a relief we are getting along" Chuck said, looking away. "Don't expect anything beyond that."

Serena leaned forward, interest peaked now that her stepbrother had breached the subject. He was usually so guarded about his feelings that it was nearly impossible to get him to talk about things like this. This seemed like a golden opportunity she couldn't miss out on.

"What exactly _did_ happen on graduation?" she asked.

Chuck looked at her, an eyebrow raised. Her sudden interest had not gone by unnoticed, her whole body language screamed that she was curious. His guard immediately went back up. She was Blair's best friend after all and anything he said to her might wind up reported back to Blair sooner or later.

"We graduated high school" he said casually. "How drunk were you?"

"Come on, we're talking about you and Blair."

"Can we not dwell on the past? We're getting along right now, that should be enough."

"Grace seems happy."

"She is. Summer definitely seems to be her favorite season."

"You sure it's the season?"

"Who knows, maybe she's just older now and finds joy in more things than before" he shrugged. "I don't analyze it. I enjoy it."

"You don't think that maybe you and Blair being together out here with her is having an effect? She gets to have constant attention from both her parents."

"I don't know" Chuck shrugged. "All I know for sure is how much _I_ enjoy spending every day with her."

"I can tell" Serena said with a small smile. "I can't remember the last time I saw you this good-spirited." She got a thoughtful look on her face. "I'm so glad things turned out this way. For a while there I was worried that you might not be able to bond with her."

"Not something you should concern yourself with" Chuck said. "You're not her biological aunt. Boundaries."

"A girl needs her father" Serena said in a tone that made Chuck wonder if she was still talking about Grace. "I get the feeling you'll never leave her, come what may. She's a lucky baby."

"Your feeling is correct. Which is the root of the whole Yale problem. Neither Blair nor I are willing to be apart from her."

"I really do hope you and Blair work things out and get together" Serena said. "Not just because I think it's obvious how you feel about each other but I think Grace deserves that kind of stability. A mother and a father under the same roof. In love. Happy. The baby knowing every day that neither one of her parents will ever leave."

"You don't need to have a nuclear family to have security and happiness" Chuck objected. "It's not like we will be bad parents apart. Grace will always know how much we love her and that neither one of us is ever going to leave her."

"Family is underrated" Serena said.

"I'm not so sure we're still talking about _this_ particular family" Chuck said, studying Serena carefully. "What are you up to in Europe exactly?"

"Nothing" Serena said evasively.

"No" Chuck said. "Something's going on."

"I just wish Grace could get the chance to grow up with both you and Blair under one roof with her, that's all."

"What do you care?" Chuck wanted to know. "It's probably a lot better for a child to grow up with two separate homes than to have the parents living together when they're not _together_. I don't think she'd benefit from Blair and me being roommates constantly getting on each other's nerves."

"Right" Serena said, quite tired of his refusal to admit what he was feeling. "Roommates. Because the two of you hate each other. Or are completely indifferent to each other. Absolutely no traces of romantic feelings there, none whatsoever. You really do protest too much."

Chuck leaned back and rolled his eyes.

"Have you been a naughty girl and read our top secret diaries?" he asked dryly. "Seeing as how you apparently know more than I do about my own feelings. I have no romantic feelings for Blair."

"The sooner you stop telling yourself that the better. Grace deserves to have the most stabile home possible and if her parents love each other then-"

"Serena not every child is a product of love" Chuck snapped.

She raised her eyebrows and leaned back, away from him, surprised by the sharpness of his tone.

"I know you want to believe that every child is conceived out of love but that is not the case" Chuck said. "What does it even matter? I wasn't in love with Blair when we first had sex and made a baby and she was not in love with me. There were butterflies at one point, I admit, but those came later. Grace is no less loved because of it. I adore my daughter and Blair does too. You want us to have some form of fairytale romance and live happily ever after because you have this irrational fear of broken up families but parents can stick around even when the child is not a _love_ child." He pulled one leg up on the chair, wrapping his arm around it. "Though Grace _is_ a love child. We love her to pieces. I'm not Bart, I am capable of loving my child. And I'm not William van der Woodsen either."

Serena swallowed and looked away. He could see tears in her eyes. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry" he said. "I'm just so damn sick of people assuming I'm going to fail miserably at parenthood. I'm sick of people expecting me to bail on Grace. Failing at having a romantic relationship with Grace's mother does not mean I am failing as a father. I know I came off at a bad start with this whole fatherhood thing but I ask that you keep me and my relationship with my baby out of your own daddy issues."

Serena said nothing. Chuck didn't say anything else either. He knew the subject was sore with Serena but she had only herself to blame for bringing it up. Why had she brought it up? She hadn't spoken of her father in years before Grace came along. He had to admit that it was a possibility that her having front-row seats to his initial inability to bond with his baby had triggered unpleasant memories and feelings she had tried to hide but now she was triggering his insecurities and it made him defensive.

A few minutes later Blair came back into the room, holding Grace who was wrapped in a towel with her hair wet and a pacifier in her mouth. Blair eyed her friends, surprised by the unpleasant atmosphere.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Instead of answering Chuck got up and smiled halfheartedly at the baby.

"Hey baby girl" he said, reaching out to take her from Blair. "All clean now, huh?"

Grace's tiny hands reached out and landed on his cheeks. He leaned in closer and gave her a kiss, then turned to Serena with a look that intended to make it clear to her that there was no way he was abandoning his child.

Serena just stared at her fingernails looking miserable. Right now she wanted nothing more than to call Carter Baizen and see if he had had any further luck tracking down her father's precise location. She didn't want her friends to know what was going on so she resisted the urge. She just wished she hadn't mixed her own issues with Chuck's.

"Should… Should we cook?" Blair asked, confused by the gloomy mood. "Or do you guys want to order in?"

"Whatever you want to do" Chuck shrugged, rubbing his nose against the baby's. "Hey, little girl. You smell really nice. Blair I'll take her upstairs and get her dressed."

"Her clothes are on the couch in the next room" Blair said. "I was going to dress her myself I just wanted to know what you guys thought we should do for dinner."

"Talk it over with Serena" Chuck said. "I'll get Grace dressed. Come on baby."

Blair turned to look at Serena as Chuck left the room.

"What did I miss?" she asked.

"I could go for pasta" Serena said, seeming to snap out of her haze. She got up from her chair and walked to the refrigerator. "If you don't have any I could settle for pretty much anything else… except for rice and gravy."

* * *

Blair and Serena sat on the couches in the sitting room, looking out on the patio and the pool through the large windows and the glass doors. Chuck was in the pool playing with Grace, staying in the spots shaded by a large parasol. Serena and Blair both had a large glass of ice-tea and neither said much at first, enjoying the cooler temperature inside and the refreshing beverage.

"I'm leaving again tonight" Serena said. "I have a flight to catch."

"Off to party some more?" Blair commented, swirling a straw in her glass.

Serena rolled her eyes.

"Some of us are still young and need a bit more than the games you can play with an infant to keep us happy."

Blair didn't reply. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, both of them watching the father and child playing in the pool.

"For the longest time I wasn't sure what I felt for him" Blair said out of the blue.

"Who?" Serena said, her mind elsewhere. "Chuck?"

"I was… _really_ confused" Blair continued, glad to have someone to talk to about this. "I knew he was more than just a friend but I wasn't sure I wanted him to be. I knew he was amazing in bed so I told myself I was merely attracted to him and longed for the pleasure I knew he could give."

"Oh gross" Serena complained, setting her glass down. "Don't talk about Chuck and pleasure in the same sentence."

"I fought my feelings for so long" Blair said. "Told myself it was attraction only and that I just thought I had stronger feelings for him because he's my daughter's father. Lately I just…" She sighed longingly. "I want him S. I want him more than I've ever wanted a guy before."

"You said you loved him."

"Oh I do" Blair said. "Just looking at him now how could I not? He's charming, he's brilliant, he's someone who sees all the worst sides in me and doesn't mind them. I can be myself around him. He brings out this side of me that I really like. He lifts my spirits, he makes me feel beautiful, he's always there when I need him to be. He has the ability to carry people. He's evolving into a great father. Look at him out there. What woman could see a man doting upon her child that way and resist him?"

"He can be a good parent to her without being the love of your life" Serena felt obliged to comment, concerned that Chuck's feelings might have changed lately given the things he had said the other night.

"We've been like a real family out here" Blair said, setting her glass down and leaning her head against her arms on the back of the couch, watching Chuck and Grace with a smile. "It's been amazing. I know without a doubt that I want this. I want it for all three of us for as long as possible. Grace thrives when we're together all three. Chuck and I have this connection and it only grows stronger every day."

"You should tell him that."

"Not yet. He got the wrong idea over the whole Yale thing and I need him to trust me before I make another move."

"What's there not to trust?" Serena asked. "You haven't done anything wrong. Except maybe the whole Nate thing."

"You know Chuck" Blair said. "Any reason to not confront his feelings and he'll take it. I can't understand what his fears are about but I know they're there."

Through the windows she saw Chuck lift Grace up from the pool and then climb up after her. He pulled her up to standing and she seemed to be rather steady until he tried letting go. She immediately fell over and started to cry.

"Also he's a bit of an idiot" Blair commented with a groan.

They saw Chuck lift Grace up and soothe her. Serena glanced over at Blair.

"I know you love him" she said. "Just… Just don't let the fact that he's Grace's dada cloud your judgment."

Blair frowned and turned to look at her friend.

"You have been the biggest cheerleader for me to jump his bones since when I was still with Nate" Blair pointed out. "Now you're saying I should wait?"

"No, I just…" She sighed and looked at her stepbrother and the baby, thinking of their previous conversation. "I wish you guys could have a happily ever after. But maybe it's not such a bad idea for you to make sure where Chuck's head and heart are at after the falling out you guys had. Resolve the Yale issue before you try and move forward."

"If I have things my way Chuck will be glad to move to New Haven with us" Blair said. "You were the one who said so."

"That was before he got the idea that you only want to be with him so that he would go with you there. Look Blair I wish the two of you could be together, I really do. I just… think that you guys should be sure and know what you're doing. If hearts get broken things might get complicated and there's an innocent child in the middle of all this. All I'm saying is don't rush into anything."

"Why would anyone have their heart broken?"

"Just make sure you're sure how he feels about you before you say anything to him" Serena said. "Like you said yourself, he ran away at graduation. I know he seems interested but… He hasn't had many girls over since Bart's death, maybe he's just horny? Just… You know, just be sure. If he breaks your heart Grace is going to be the one who suffers."

"I think you're crazy. You don't know what you're talking about."

Blair sulked and took a large sip from her drink. She had expected Serena to support her and cheer her on. She could use the moral support. Instead she got this? She wanted Serena to tell her that Chuck was crazy about her and that it was plain to see. She wanted reassurance.

"For what it's worth I do think he loves you back" Serena said. "I'm just not sure he's ready quite yet."

"Did he say something to you?"

The patio doors opened and Chuck came in with Grace wrapped in a tiny purple robe. Serena got up and walked over to kiss the baby on the cheek.

"Did you have a nice swim?" she asked. "Auntie S is going upstairs to pack." She looked over at Blair. "Do you guys want me to take Grace upstairs with me?"

"You wouldn't even know _how_ to dress her" Blair scoffed.

"She can sit on the floor and help me pack" Serena said. "If there's anything you guys feel you want to talk to each other about or…"

"I think Serena inhaled something she shouldn't have" Chuck told the baby. "It's time for you to take a nap."

"Then let me say goodbye to her" Serena said and reached out to hold her.

"You're leaving?" Chuck asked, handing his daughter over.

"Yeah in about an hour and a half. Bye baby G. Auntie will miss you. Please don't grow too much until I see you again, okay?"

"Solid encouragement" Chuck said dryly. "You want to carry her upstairs?"

He walked off towards Grace's nursery with Serena and the baby in tow. Blair watched them go and tried to make sense of the warnings Serena had given.

* * *

Blair walked inside Chuck's bedroom an evening in late July. He was sitting on the bed, propped up with two large pillows against the headboard, holding the baby in his arms. Grace was working her way through a bottle of milk, part of their bedding ritual. Blair sat down at the foot of the bed and held up a giraffe plushie.

"Do you think it's weird that she doesn't have a favorite stuffed animal?" she asked, waving the giraffe around a bit.

"What?"

"Kids have favorite stuffed animals."

"Maybe that's at a later age?" Chuck suggested.

"Maybe…"

"She's got a favorite scarf. She is our kid after all. Makes sense that good fashion would be her preference."

Grace was done with the bottle and Chuck tossed it to Blair, asking her to put it on the dresser by the door. He moved the baby around so she was no longer sitting but instead cradled in his arms.

"Here, let me have the giraffe" he said.

Blair handed it to him and watched as he tried to get Grace to take it, but the child seemed completely uninterested.

"Well, this one's clearly not on the top ten" he remarked.

"Good. It still smells a bit like spit-up."

"Like my scarf" Chuck noted and reached for the pacifier sitting on his nightstand. "They say you make sacrifices when you become a parent but I never thought that I would have to sacrifice my _scarf_."

"How very traumatic that must have been for you" Blair chuckled.

"It was. It's no laughing matter."

Blair grinned. He raised a comical eyebrow at her and then smiled. She watched as he gave the pacifier to the baby and then she got up and walked over to the head of the bed where she sat down next to him.

"Time to sleep now" Chuck said softly. "Think you can do that without requiring a diaper change?"

"She'll try her best" Blair said.

She took a deep breath and delighted in the combined scent of Chuck and her baby. It was a form of pleasant torture to be this close to him every day all summer without getting to step out of the bounds of a platonic relationship. So she stole whatever moments she could and she had a feeling he did too. He didn't object at all when she wrapped her left arm around his shoulders and leaned closer, resting her cheek so close to his that they were touching. If anybody were to ask she would claim she just wanted a better angle to watch the baby from but both she and Chuck knew that it was more than that.

"She was born late August…" Chuck said. "It's now late July. A little less than a month to go before she's a whole year old."

"I know" Blair said. "What happened, right? How did everything go by so fast?"

"You thought that was fast?" Chuck asked with a chuckle. "This past year has seemed endless to me. 'Course, I had the added hardship of losing the only parent I had left."

"Poor Bart" Blair said, reaching down a finger to caress the baby's cheek. "Can you imagine never getting to see Grace as an adult? To die before she gets married, chooses a career?"

"At least Dad got to meet my firstborn" Chuck noted.

Blair nodded. Grace's eyelids were getting heavier by the minute. Blair wished the baby would stay awake a little longer. Once she was asleep there would be no more reason for Blair to sit this close with Chuck.

"We haven't talked about what happens in the fall" Chuck said. "College starts in just a little over a month."

"Right" Blair nodded.

"You've realized by now that you can't go to New Haven, right?"

Why did he have to say that? Blair took her arm away from around his shoulders, sighed and moved a bit away from him. She hugged her knees and looked up at him.

"Chuck you know how I feel about this."

"You know how _I_ feel. She's my daughter too."

"Yes I know that. But I got into Yale against all the odds."

"No you were always going to be accepted there. You're that brilliant. But daughter trumps Yale."

"There's got to be some room for compromise here."

"Where was the compromise when you went to campus and accepted your spot without so much as telling me what you were up to?"

"Chuck that's not what I was doing" Blair said defensively. "I went there to find out what the logistics would be _if_ I would attend."

"How did you see it going?" Chuck asked. His tone was still soft so that the baby wouldn't be disturbed but she could hear the underlying seriousness.

"I'll move to New Haven with Grace and we'll figure something out. Some way for you to spend time with her. You can have her every weekend."

"That's not enough. I've been with her every day all summer; I can't go back to only having her a day or two out of the week."

"So what do _you_ suggest? That _I_ go without her five days a week?"

"Defer from Yale for one year" Chuck said. "How is that so bad? You can be a stay-at-home mom to Grace during a very crucial part of her life. Think about it."

"Chuck I would go insane being a stay-at-home mom for a full year! And what happens next year? Earlier you said you wouldn't let me take her to New Haven ever. You think I'd accept leaving her in New York at any point?"

"I just can't let you move away with her Blair" Chuck said. "I simply can't. You're not even _allowed_ to move with her to another state without my consent or with court approval. Neither one of us is allowed to just up and leave with her like that."

"It's not like I'm moving to France!"

"If you cannot stand living in a different state than her then why do you think I should have to?"

"Chuck. You've done a great job being a father to her. Especially this summer. But I'm the one she's been living with all her life. That's what she is used to."

"She's not even a year old. She will adapt. Besides, I'm suggesting you stay in New York another year and we can both be with her."

"And what about my future, Chuck? The baby's not going to be a baby forever. I can't throw away everything I wanted to be in life just to stay in New York for your sake."

"Defer" Chuck repeated. "Go next year. Wouldn't that be _better_ for your future? Don't you think you'll do a much better job at college if you don't have a one year-old? The older she gets the easier it will be for us to pick up our lives and continue building our future careers. She needs us more now when she's this little than when she can be off playing with her friends or going to kindergarten."

"You want me to put off college until she's at _kindergarten_?"

"No. I'm just saying that people take maternity leave and paternity leave when the babies are young for a reason."

"Most people go back to work within a year" Blair argued.

"Just please don't take her away. I will fight you on it. I don't want to, but I will."

"I think you just don't want _me_ to move to a different state" Blair said, testing the waters with her chin stuck up in the air. "Two days a week has been your time with Grace for months and if you had her during weekends that wouldn't mean any real change. However you wouldn't get to see me as much."

"Oh is that what you think?" Chuck asked, annoyed. "You really think that for me Grace is a mere excuse to be near you?"

"What I think is that you won't be seeing any less of her if I move with her to New Haven than you did all senior year" Blair replied.

"While making that brilliant deduction did you stop to realize that I didn't see _you_ any more often than I saw her? And did you realize that I might not have had her _over night_ more than twice a week but I spent time with her on a near-daily basis?"

Blair wrinkled her nose, realizing he had a point. Why did he have to react this way? She wanted one of the reasons why he didn't want her to move to be about _her_, not about their baby. Was a little love and attention too much to ask for?

Chuck meanwhile was defensive. When she had first arrived in the Hamptons he had been set on keeping things strictly platonic, to save his own heart. Somehow as the days and weeks had gone by that resolve had weakened and he had begun to flirt with Blair again. He felt like he was treading dangerous waters and was angry with himself for giving Blair the opportunity to believe that his feelings for her might work in her advantage.

"Let's be honest Bass" she said. "You'd miss me just as much as you would miss her."

"Let's be frank Waldorf" he countered. "My interest is in my daughter. You and me? We're just friends."

"We both know that's a lie" Blair said.

"Do we?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

He turned his focus back to Grace while he tried to figure out what he would say next. She was right of course, they were so much more than friends. At least he cared about her far more than you did for a friend. Her feelings were more of a mystery to him. She was partially right in guessing that he wanted her to stay in New York so that she would be close and admitting that made him feel like a horrible parent. He really couldn't stand the thought of only getting to see his daughter a few days a week but it felt wrong that his motives weren't _only_ about Grace.

"It doesn't matter what you and I are" he finally said. "We were not talking about you and me. We were talking about the baby and her future. Look how happy she has been all summer. Has she ever been so happy before? At any point during the past eleven months? It's not just that it's summer and she's gotten to be outside a lot, it's because you and I have both been with her at the same time. You are her main safe harbor, I know that. But we've established at this point that I am very important to her too. Having us both around her all day long clearly makes her happy. Don't you want that for her?"

"I don't see why that can't happen in New Haven" Blair said. "You can do business there just as well as you can in New York."

"New Haven is a college town" Chuck argued. "If you're not going to school there it's a complete yawn. Four years is a long time."

"Not _that_ long."

"Grace will almost five by the time you graduate. Almost ready for kindergarten. That sure makes it seem like far into the future to me."

"I know you're not the biggest fan of New Haven but why don't you apply to Yale as well for next year? We can both go there."

"I don't care about college, I care about the company."

"The company will benefit from you going to college, you know."

"No it won't. It would mean I'd have to wait another four years to take over and while Lily is doing a great job overseeing the board I feel that I want to be in charge of what I will one day leave my daughter. Bart didn't intend for me to go to college first either. He left me in charge at seventeen."

"No he died when you were seventeen" Blair pointed out softly. "I don't think he thought he would die anytime soon when he wrote his will."

"Well either way… I don't have time for college."

"Perhaps you should take time. I'm thinking strategically."

"No" Chuck said. "You're thinking possessively."

"Going to college would delay you running Bass Industries for a few years" Blair said. "But think of all the knowledge you would gain that would make you better apt to run the company. That would be better in the long run."

"My father didn't study business or economics at college" Chuck retorted. "He seemed to do pretty well anyway."

"Then think of how well he could have done if he _had_ gone-"

"Blair drop it" Chuck sighed. "I'm not going to enroll at Yale and that's the end of that. We'll have to find some other solution."

"Then you'd better find one fast" Blair sighed.

"We won't get any further with this tonight" Chuck concluded. "What do you think, should we put our princess to bed?"

"She's asleep already."

Chuck nodded and carefully got up from the bed. He walked to the door with his sleeping daughter cradled in his arms.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Blair asked.

"No" he said, stopping for a brief second. "I need to think."

He left the room and Blair groaned with annoyance and jabbed her first on his pillow. Right now she wasn't thinking about wanting to sleep on that pillow right next to him, which had been one of her more comment thoughts while being in this room this summer. All she could think about right now was getting him to agree to Grace moving to New Haven. Preferably they would all move. She had to think of something and fast because time was running out.

* * *

"I said I need to think" Chuck growled when he heard her steps approaching.

He had gone out to the Jacuzzi to try and relax and clear his mind. If he had wanted her company he would have invited her. But here she was anyway. He turned his head and gave her a glare to tell her how unwelcome she was but she ignored the look. She had a satin bathrobe on and the baby monitor in her hand.

"What do you want?" he asked.

She placed the monitor on the drink stand next to the Jacuzzi and let her robe slip open. She was wearing a jade green bathing suit underneath which highlighted her bosom, still a touch fuller than it had been pre-pregnancy. The rest of her body was as slender as ever and her hair was up in a messy bun drawing his eyes to the nape of her neck, a reaction that caused him to look away. He didn't want to think of her as a woman right now. At the moment she was his opponent in the argument over where Grace would live in the fall and he refused to let her win him over with her body. It drove him nearly crazy that she would even attempt to do so. It reinforced his earlier suspicions that she meant to make use of his feelings for her in order to get her way.

Blair had no intention at all of doing any such thing. She hadn't gone out to join him to take advantage of the setting wherein they would both be scantily clad, in fact she had opted for her only one-piece rather than one of her bikinis specifically to _not_ show as much skin. She had decided to join him because she wanted the issue settled once and for all and it seemed to her that a hot tub would be as good a setting for that talk as anywhere else. At least in the tub they might both be a bit more relaxed.

"If I wanted company I would have pulled out my little black book" Chuck said in a very unwelcoming tone.

Ignoring him she climbed inside the Jacuzzi and sank down until she was comfortably seated with her head and shoulders above water. For some annoying reason Chuck thought she looked even more alluring like that and he closed his eyes and leaned his head back so that he wouldn't have to look at her.

"You can take a dip in forty-five minutes" he said. "Let me be alone."

"Chuck we're going to talk" she said matter-of-factly. "We're not getting up from this pool until we've resolved this."

"Is this the part where you suggest I move to New Haven? It won't happen. Why should I relocate just to do you a favor? We're talking four years of my life here."

"We're talking my entire future."

"We're talking an idea you've got stuck in your brain that Yale is the only school on the planet. Why not go to Columbia?"

"For starters I wasn't accepted at Columbia so it's not an option" Blair said icily.

"I'm sorry you might have to give up on Yale, I really am. But you can't expect me to let go of my daughter so you can go to the school of your choice."

"I'm not asking you to!" Blair cried. "I'm asking you to be reasonable. Come visit her in New Haven as much as you like."

"It's not the same" Chuck argued. "I don't want to lose the bond I'm forming with her. I don't want her to become shy of me. I don't want her to grow up and think of Daddy as that person she speaks with on the effin' phone."

"Someone has to give" Blair snarled. "Why should it always have to be me?"

"Always?"

"You don't understand. You've never had a dream in your life. You've never spent endless years striving towards one specific goal."

Her leg accidentally brushed against his under the surface of the water. He felt a jolt of electricity pass between them and pulled his leg away. Blair frowned and wondered what on earth was going on with him. He kept his eyes firmly closed and seemed afraid to touch her. Everything had been going so well between them all summer, what was all this about?

"Why won't you look at me?" she asked.

"Not much of a view" he replied nastily. He immediately cringed inwardly. That was such a crude thing to say. "All the good parts are below water level" he added, changing the comment from a personal insult to more of a crude horny teenager slur.

Angrily she splashed water on him. He wrinkled his nose and opened his eyes. The look in her eyes was angry but passionate and almost irresistible. He wanted the Yale issue resolved more than ever. He wanted the matter to be settled so that she could stop trying to entice him and just go ahead and crush any ideas he might have about her having genuine feelings for him. He wanted the torment to stop.

"If I can offer up a compromise would you just get the hell out of the water already

"What is your problem?" Blair snarled.

He sighed heavily. Offending or annoying her was hardly going to make this problem any easier to solve.

"I've barely had any time at all to myself out here" he said as a cover. "I just wanted a nice dip in the Jacuzzi by my lonesome. Is that so much to ask?"

"I didn't realize the baby and I were imposing on your lovely holiday."

He ignored the comment and worked his brain over-time to think.

"What bothers me the most is the idea of Grace being in New Haven with you instead of in New York with me when you've got your hands full and barely have time for her. Take orientation week for instance. When would you fit Grace into that schedule? Regardless of how we later work things out I think she should at least be with me for that week."

"The whole week? That's… long."

"Then don't attend the entire damn week."

She splashed some more water at him with a frown, frustrated with his sudden irritableness but deciding to hear him out. At least in this scenario Yale was included.

"I also don't like the idea of her going back and forth like a ping-pong ball" Chuck continued. "Maybe… Maybe if we worked out how many days per month she's with me and how many days she's with you and we could… I don't know. Say that she spends ten days a month with me and twenty with you."

"Seven/twenty-three" Blair insisted.

"We can argue the details later" Chuck said icily. "My suggestion is that instead of sending her back and forth all the time she's with you for a consecutive amount of days and then the rest she's with me. Consecutively."

"No" Blair said, shaking her head.

"Look up the word: '_compromise_' in a dictionary."

"Chuck I can't go seven days or ten days without her and you can't go without her for twenty. It's unreasonable."

He tried his best to think of another idea.

"Will you be taking your classes at half-pace?"

"Yeah."

"Okay so then…"

He paused, trying to form an idea in his head. Blair studied him and wished he would just relent and move to New Haven with her. She desperately wanted them to be together, be a couple, and if he moved with her then the chances of that happening would be so much better than if they lived in different states. She was starting to feel a bit desperate. She had been so sure she could break down his walls over summer but first Serena's warnings and then his irrational behavior right now made her feel like they were quickly going back to where they were when she and Grace first arrived out here. All their progress seemed to be slipping through her fingers and she knew she wouldn't be able to make him trust in her again in the few weeks that were left before they went back to New York.

"I can be okay with her spending the weeks with you and weekends with me" he finally said. "Provided that you are in New York every week day when you don't have school. And provided Grace stays with me during orientation week. Sooner or later we have to work out a system where she spends half the days of the month with you and half with me but for now I think I can live with this compromise. So long as she's not always in New Haven five days a week."

Blair was at a loss for words. This she had not expected.

"Okay" she finally said. "But you… you were so adamant before…"

"If you don't have classes every day then I could still see her a few days a week. Also, if things are hectic for you and you know you won't have much time with her for a day or two then she stays with me and not under the care of a nanny."

"Agreed" Blair said, confused as to how it would all really work but eager to go along with any plan that meant she could have Grace with her and still go to Yale.

"I'm getting the short end of the stick" he said, as much to himself as to her. "But I think it's better for Grace this way. If you don't get to go to Yale you will be miserable and she deserves a mother who is happy. Plus the thought of you one day resenting her for by extension being the reason why you never got to go to Yale frightens me."

"I would never resent her" Blair said. "You're right though, I would be so much happier at Yale than if I didn't go."

"It's settled then" Chuck said, not sounding too pleased. "Go to Yale. And Grace can stay in New Haven at least part-time."

Filled with a sudden rush of excitement and happiness at getting almost everything she wanted Blair's face lit up with a beaming smile and she dove across the tub planting a big kiss on his lips.

"Thank you" she beamed.

Chuck was not prepared for the touch of her lips. His hands grabbed the edge of the pool seat to stop the impulse to grab a hold of her and kiss her passionately. He had to be stronger than that. He couldn't trust her, not yet anyway. If only she wasn't so damn close.

The sound of Grace crying broke through to them from the baby monitor. Still smiling Blair moved back and climbed out of the tub. She cast a look at Chuck as she put her robe back on and was surprised. He had turned his face away from her and had a deeply troubled look on his face. No guy had ever looked like that after she'd kissed him. Somehow she had managed to scare him again and she couldn't even begin to guess how. She didn't have time to think about it right now either. Her daughter needed her.

"Thank you Chuck" she said. "I mean it. Thank you. I'll find some way of making it up to you, I swear."

He took a deep breath and sunk down under the water. She wanted to stay and talk to him some more but the baby kept crying and she knew she had to go see what she needed. With mixed feelings she walked back to the house. She had gotten everything she wanted save for one detail. A very stubborn detail whose walls were up so high she was beginning to feel like it would be impossible to tear them down.

* * *

This chapter feels a bit like a mess to me so I hope it made at least some sense. I'll make the next one more coherent, I promise!

Please review and tell me what you think.


	49. Chapter 49

Phew! At long last this chapter is finished. I've had such a bad case of writer's block with this one and the result is… well, not my best chapter to date. But probably not the worst either =) Since I don't have much time I haven't proof-read this. Hopefully there are no major errors in it.

Before we get to the chapter though I want to apologise to those whose reviews of the last chapter I didn't respond to. I'll do better from now on, I promise!

* * *

The following morning Chuck was sulking out on a sun chair, a bowl of cereal on his lap and a boring John Grisham novel in one hand. The patio doors opened and Blair came out, bright sunny smile on her face and the baby in her arms.

"Morning Daddy!" she twittered.

"Mmm…" Chuck mumbled, turning a page with some difficulty.

"Grace just woke up an hour ago" Blair said, taking a seat on another sun chair. "While we went through the usual morning routine I told her all about how Mommy is going to Yale! And how she will be able to brag to all her friends that she attended Yale at only one year of age. Also I promised her that she could still see her Daddy whenever she likes."

"I gave you what you wanted" Chuck said, shoveling a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. "Do you have to rub it in?"

Blair looked taken aback.

"I'm sorry" she said. "I didn't… That wasn't my intention. I'm just so very happy that I get to go and I hope you know how grateful I am to you."

"Awesome" he said unenthusiastically.

Blair frowned at his sullen mood. She turned to the baby and smiled at her.

"Grace perhaps you should give him a good morning kiss and he'll feel a little better?" she chirped.

"I'm not in the mood Blair" Chuck said. "I'm not going back on our agreement but I was the one who ended up the loser so would you please go… chirp somewhere else?"

Blair bit her bottom lip and looked away, feeling like an insensitive bitch.

"Do you want Grace to keep you company out here?" she asked.

"No" Chuck said. "I'm heading down to the beach. I talked to Nate, he's been out here all summer too, if we're going to be friends of some sort again then we should at least hang out once before heading back to the city." He looked up from his book and saw slight confusion in her eyes. "We're going to play beach volley and see if there are any nice looking ladies out. I could use a good distraction."

Blair's frown deepened but she chose to say nothing though she wondered what he meant by '_distraction_'. She forced herself to sound cheerful again and got up from her seat.

"Well then I think Grace and I will go for a walk. It's a lovely day out. What do you say, sweetie? Come, let's go check if the going-out bag has everything we need."

Chuck turned his attention back to his book, relieved when Blair's voice could no longer be heard. He wasn't very excited to go hang out with Nate today but any excuse to get out of the house and away from Blair for a while was welcome. With a heavy sigh he turned another page and finished his cereal. Summer out here had been great thus far but now he was beginning to wish it would go ahead and be over soon. The sooner Blair moved to Yale the better. Not that he welcomed it per se but the only thing he liked less than the idea of her and the baby leaving New York was the idea of just sitting around waiting for it to happen. Better to have it done and try to figure out where to go from that point on.

He tossed the book aside not caring where it landed and got up. He had an hour before he was meeting Nate. He might as well go upstairs and look through his closet to see what he had that would be fitting for an afternoon at the beach.

* * *

"You're going to need to get Grace private instructors where all sports are concerned" Nate said. "You suck way too hard to be able to teach her anything."

Chuck gave him a glare. He was on his stomach on the beach, having just thrown himself to get the ball and missed. Nate was far too amused and Chuck was in far too fowl a mood to find this very enjoyable. Though he had to admit it had felt nice to get an outlet for his inner frustration. If only it came with less sand.

"What do you say?" Nate said. "Should we call it a game? I'm thirsty."

"Basses may not be the best at sports" Chuck replied, sitting up and brushing sand off his arms. "Unlike Archibalds we're not quitters. At least there's that."

"Hydrate, Bass."

Chuck got up on his feet and squinted at the sun. He walked over to their bags sitting next to the net and rummaged through it until he found his sunglasses. The temple arms had tiny bite marks on them courtesy of his daughter. They had been his favorite pair. Now he wasn't sure he would be able to use them publically anymore.

"You never used to be this sore a loser" Nate said, bending down to find his wallet.

"I'm not a sore loser" Chuck snarled. "It's beach volley. Who the hell cares which one of us wins and loses?"

"Then what?" Nate asked. "You've been grumpy all day. I thought we were friends now so I want to assume it's not because you're hanging out with me."

"Still the sharpest knife in the drawer" Chuck said dryly. "If I've been grumpy all day then it's hardly because I lost the game, now is it?"

"I'm disappointed you didn't bring any wine" Nate said, throwing his bag over his shoulder. "You always used to smuggle white wine down to the beach, remember?"

"Yeah but since the guy who kept the wine cellar stocked passed away the selection has gotten somewhat poor."

Nate made a face, feeling bad at having brought up Bart even if it was unintentionally. Though Chuck's mood had been poor all day long, with or without references to his father.

"Come on man, what is up with you today?"

"Am I really that poor company?" Chuck asked, slightly surprised.

"You're not exactly bubbly and cheerful."

"When was I ever either of those things?" He sighed and shook his head. "Last night I agreed to Blair taking Grace to New Haven. I cannot believe I did that."

"She gets to go to Yale?" Nate whistled with impression. "Man, if I were you I would have made the most out of that. You could have gotten so lucky last night."

"Who the hell cares about that when they've just given someone permission to move their child away?"

Nate mulled it over for a minute before he spoke.

"It's not like you to make decisions like that without weighing the options" he said. "You must have felt it was the better choice in the end."

"If I had only listened to my father a year ago things might have been much different. I should have damn near _lived_ at Blair's until the baby was old enough to spend more time at my place. Then Grace would have been as attached to me as she is to Blair and giving her up so that Blair can get her education wouldn't have been necessary."

"Giving her up?" Nate echoed with a startled expression.

"It's de facto what I'm doing" Chuck sulked. "Letting Blair take her to New Haven… I'll see her as much as possible but let's be real, it won't be nearly often enough."

"Yeah but… why did you suddenly decide it was better to let Blair take her to New Haven than for Blair to stay in New York?"

"I grew up with a miserable, resentful parent. I don't want Grace to be raised by a mother who is bitter over missing out on Yale."

"That's a very… parent-like decision to make."

"I will always be the one who gets the short end, won't I?" Chuck sighed. "Blair's the mother. Should I date her just to ensure I will always get to be with Grace?"

Nate guffawed.

"What a sacrifice that would be for you! Forced to date the woman you love. Only a really devoted parent would even consider such a pain."

With a frown Chuck gave him a shove that nearly sent him into a dune. Nate still laughed and shook his head. Chuck managed a good-natured smirk.

"Enough about your baby and your heart's desire" Nate said. "I'm parched. Let's get something to drink already."

Chuck smirked halfheartedly.

"How about a cold beer since wine is off the table?" he suggested.

"Well, well, well" Nate said. "Look who's finally embracing the ways of the common man. I'm impressed."

"It's just beer Nathaniel" Chuck replied but he couldn't help but chuckle. It did feel good to be out of the house and hanging out with Nate again. Even if it was only for one day. It was nice to have someone who listened to his troubles again. Even if it was only temporary.

* * *

Chuck walked down the stairs with Grace in his arms, yawning while he pondered what to do for the evening. Blair had gone out to the movies with one of her friends and he had the house all to himself. Perhaps he would just watch a movie or do some adult surfing on his laptop. He was on his way to heat up Grace's evening bottle and then he would put her to bed and his evening would be completely free.

The front door opened and he stopped with a surprised expression. He wasn't expecting anyone. Especially not Lily, Rufus and Jenny who walked through the doors with bags in hand. He frowned with annoyance. The Humphreys were the last people he wanted to see and he certainly didn't want them in his father's house. Lily wasn't his most favorite person in the world either, especially not when she brought the Humphreys out here.

"What is all this?" he asked.

"Charles!" Lily said cheerfully. "I'm glad you're home. And little precious hasn't gone to bed yet. Where is Blair?"

"Out with a friend" Chuck said. "Lily what are you all doing here?"

"We thought we'd flee the heat of the city for the weekend" Lily chirped.

"So go somewhere colder."

"Always the gentleman host" Jenny said dryly, putting two large bags down on the floor with rolling eyes.

"I see you've packed for a month, not a weekend" Chuck replied dryly.

"Charles we promise we will stay out of your hair" Lily said, walking up to coo the baby.

"I sincerely hope you're not planning on sleeping in my father's bedroom."

Lily looked a touch taken aback and Chuck felt his irritation grow. Obviously she had planned on doing that. The idea of her sleeping with Rufus Humphrey in Bart's bed made Chuck contemplate throwing them out.

"We will take a guest room" Lily said. "Rufus, Jenny, let me show you upstairs and see if we can find two available rooms."

"Preferably far away from where the baby is sleeping" Jenny said, lifting up her bags again to follow Lily up the stairs. "I came here for a vacation, not to be woken up ten times a night by a screaming infant."

"For once we are of one mind" Chuck said. "I'd rather not have you anywhere near Grace. You are welcome to sleep in the pool house if you wish."

"That would actually be cool" Jenny said, turning to Rufus.

"There will be no sleeping in a pool house" Rufus said.

"See?" Chuck said to Grace. "I will never be _that_ boring. Please remember that when you're sixteen and throwing a hissy because I won't buy you a convertible."

He turned his back on the highly unwelcome newly arrived and went inside the kitchen to get the baby her bottle. He sat her down on the floor while he prepared the gruel, casting glances at her every few seconds to make sure she kept out of trouble.

Grace tipped over and ended up on her back. She rolled over on her stomach and lifted herself up on her hands. Then she pulled herself up so that she was standing on her hands and knees in a crawling position.

"I see she's crawling now" Lily said, walking in to the kitchen.

"No" Chuck said sullenly, wishing she would leave. "She stands like that but she can't seem to figure out how to move forward. She skips around on her ass instead."

Grace rocked back and forth on the floor as if building momentum to move forward but her hands and knees remained firmly planted on the tiled floor. She cried out angrily when Lily lifted her up and gave her a big kiss.

"I've missed you" Lily said to her.

"Put her back down" Chuck ordered. "She doesn't want to be held."

"I see your disposition is sunny this evening" Lily commented, putting the baby back down on the floor.

"I don't appreciate having my peace and quiet disturbed by an invasion of Humphreys" Chuck said, stirring the gruel.

"Yes, well, the reality is that I am dating Rufus now and we all have to find a way to co-exist" Lily said.

"I have a better plan in mind" Chuck said. "I'm looking for my own place."

"Charles… We can be a family."

"I don't need you to be my family" Chuck said. "All the family I need is sitting right here on the kitchen floor. I don't like the idea of your gold digging former flame spending time with my baby, especially when he's also spending money you inherited from my father."

"I have money of my own."

"You live in my father's apartment" Chuck pointed out. "You brought them out to my father's summer house. Whether or not you have your own wealth is irrelevant since you insist on living off the things my father built."

"Maybe if you gave Rufus a chance you would like him."

"Maybe if the Fellowship of the Ring gave the Dark Lord a chance they'd all be one happy family too" Chuck said dryly, screwing the cap on the baby's bottle.

"Not your most solid analogy" Lily said, refusing to be goaded.

Chuck ignored her and put the bottle down on the counter to lift Grace up. Lily looked at the bottle and raised an eyebrow but said nothing. It had been made to look like a drink mixer and she knew it wasn't something Blair had bought. Chuck took the bottle and walked out of the kitchen.

Lily thought it over then decided to follow him. She walked up the stairs and knocked on the door to his room but he wasn't there. She began to check the other rooms and soon found the nursery where he was sitting on a couch, giving Grace her bottle.

"This is a private party" he said, glancing up at his adoptive mother.

"Consider it crashed" Lily said, walking in and closing the door.

"What do you want Lily?" Chuck asked. "We're better off staying out of each other's way. Your role as my legal guardian expired at my birthday."

"That doesn't mean I don't want to be a part of your family" Lily said gently. "Or Grace's for that matter."

"Look I know the baby is cute as a button. But coo from a distance, okay? I want to be alone with her right now."

"Evening feedings can be really nice" Lily said, taking a seat on the couch, ignoring his request to be alone. "I used to give Serena and Eric warm milk in a bottle every evening until they were three or four years old."

"Then you appreciate the fact that this is a moment I want to have with her undisturbed" Chuck said.

"I'm afraid you don't get away that easily" Lily said. "Bart entrusted me with you. You have a baby of your own so you know what an enormous thing it is to let someone adopt your child. You may not want to be my son but you are and I want us to have a better relationship."

"It's not going to happen while you're running around with that man" Chuck said.

Grace finished her bottle and Chuck rose.

"She eats like she should" Lily noted. "I'm glad to see she has a healthy appetite."

"I'm going to go brush her teeth" Chuck said and left the room.

He took his time with Grace in the bathroom, partially because he knew she tended to need a diaper change after eating and partly in the hopes that Lily would be gone when he got back. To his annoyance Lily was still sitting on the couch when he returned. He placed Grace on the changing table and focused on changing her diaper while she squirmed around, thinking Lily ought to get the hint when he completely ignored her. She persisted however and by the time Grace had a new diaper and her PJs on Chuck had decided to give in.

"Alright fine" he sighed, turning to face Lily with Grace in his arms. "We'll talk. But not here. Downstairs."

"I'm glad" Lily smiled, rising from her seat. She walked over and kissed Grace on the cheek. "Goodnight precious."

She walked to the door and stopped, studying Chuck for a moment. He had Grace in his arms and walked slowly back and forth, rocking her to sleep. Lily frowned.

"Are you coming?"

"As soon as she's asleep."

"Put her down in the crib" Lily said.

"Can't you wait downstairs?" Chuck asked, feeling annoyed again.

"Charles…" Lily said. "Does she always fall asleep in yours or Blair's arms?"

"She does. What of it?"

"This is why you still need a mother in your life" Lily said and walked back inside the room. "You and Blair are going to have some rough times ahead, as is Grace."

"What do you mean?" Chuck asked with a frown.

"You've gotten her accustomed to falling asleep in the embrace of one of her parents" Lily said. "She's not going to break that pattern willingly. What do you do when she wakes up in the middle of the night?"

"We comfort her and see if she needs anything and then we lull her back to sleep."

"At her age she should be able to fall back asleep on her own when she wakes up" Lily said. "Babies tend to be light sleepers. They shouldn't need someone to attend to them every time they wake up but she's used to you or Blair rocking her to sleep."

"I fail to see the problem here" Chuck said defensively.

"She can't keep that behavior up Charles" Lily said. "She needs to learn to go to sleep on her own. For everyone's sake."

"I like rocking her to sleep."

"So much so that you want to be forced to do it every single night for years to come? What about times when neither you nor Blair are around? In the daytime when she's with a nanny or when she's at preschool?"

"Who made you Mother of the Year?" Chuck snarled. "Leave the parenting of Grace to Blair and me."

"Put Grace down in her crib."

"She's fine right here."

"Charles" Lily said firmly. "Put the baby down in her crib."

Chuck glared at her. He could tell from the look in her eyes that she wasn't backing down. Muttering some not so child friendly words he carried Grace over to the crib and put her down. Immediately when she realized what was happening she protested and began to cry.

"See what a good idea this was?" he said to Lily.

"Step away Charles" Lily said. "She will cry. She's grown used to being lulled to sleep by her parents and right now she's probably really annoyed but this has to happen sooner rather than later and frankly it should have happened six months ago. Does she have a favorite stuffed animal or a security blanket?"

"My scarf" Chuck said, leaning over the crib, trying to soothe the baby.

"Where is it?"

"Rolled into a ball on the dresser."

She walked over and picked up the scarf ball, handing it to Chuck. He took it and gave it to Grace who could care less at the moment.

"Try and soothe her for a bit if you want but then tell her goodnight and come sit on the couch with me" Lily instructed.

Chuck wasn't sure why he obeyed her but something in her voice made him feel like she knew what she was talking about. He gently caressed Grace's head for a while and spoke softly to her and she calmed down a bit. He bid her a good night and stepped away and she started to cry again.

"Come and have a seat Charles" Lily said.

"Lily are you hearing her?"

"She's angry and upset" Lily nodded. "She has to learn to fall asleep in her crib. It's natural for a child to protest like this but this is something that needs to happen."

Chuck frowned and sat down next to Lily. She began to talk about her hopes for their relationship to turn into one of friendship if nothing else but he was barely paying attention. After a few minutes he rose from his seat.

"I won't sit here and listen to this" he said, walking over to the crib.

"Whatever you do don't pick her up" Lily cautioned.

"Or what?"

"Or you will teach her how to manipulate you. She may look like an angel and act like an angel at times but there is a calculating mind in that little body. How you respond to her behavior teachers her how to act. If you let her cry without coming to pick her up she'll eventually give up. She's only angry, she's not in any pain."

"She's confused and feels abandoned" Chuck protested.

"She's not abandoned. You're still in the room with her. If you pick her up again she'll learn that crying gets your attention. Kids this age rarely want to go to sleep; they want to stay awake and explore the world or play with their parents. You don't want to teach her that if she cries she gets rewarded by getting to stay up."

"I want to teach her that Blair and I are here for her at all times."

"The truth is you won't be" Lily said simply.

"I think you're confusing our parenting with your own" Chuck said icily, stroking Grace's head which made her calm down a little.

"You are never going to be able to _always_ be around her" Lily pointed out. "You will go to school and to work and as she grows older she'll want to play with her friends without you hanging over her."

"It's not the same as her thinking we've _abandoned_ her" Chuck objected, eyeing his daughter with concern.

"She's calmed down a bit" Lily said. "Step away again."

Muttering a curse Chuck backed away from the crib, flinching when the crying started up again. The door opened and Jenny peaked her head inside with a frown.

"Is there any way to get that to stop?" she asked.

"Yeah" Chuck said angrily. "You can go back to the city. That would cheer both me and Grace up."

"Grace is trying to get used to going to sleep in her crib" Lily explained.

"She doesn't seem to like it much" Jenny commented.

"I think she's just scared by the sight of your extensions" Chuck snarled.

Jenny rolled her eyes and left the room. Chuck groaned and ran his hands through his hair, sitting down again.

"How long does this go on?" he asked.

"Until she gets tired enough and falls asleep."

"Comforting" Chuck groaned. "I take it she won't happily accept being put in the crib tomorrow?"

"You'll have to repeat this process for a few days at least."

"This can't be good for her emotionally."

"Next week she won't even remember it."

"I'm not so sure." He sat there for a few minutes, then got up again. "I can't stand listening to this!"

"Do you want us to go downstairs? We could take the monitor."

"Are you crazy?" Chuck asked. "Then she'll _really_ feel like I've abandoned her. I'm staying here."

"Then you're just going to have to grit your teeth and wait."

"Why couldn't you have gone anyplace else for your little weekend getaway?" Chuck mumbled angrily.

Lily just crossed one leg over the other and seemed undisturbed by the heartbreaking sobs from the crib. Chuck paced back and forth slowly, fighting the instincts that told him to lift his baby up and make her feel safe.

"How can you stand to listen to this?" he asked.

"She's just angry Charles."

"If you don't stop saying that she's not going to be the only one."

Lily opened her mouth to reply but a particularly high pitched wail from the baby cut her off. The door opened again and this time Rufus stuck his head inside.

"Is everything alright in here?" he asked.

"No" Chuck snarled. "But it was until you people showed up."

"Let me give you a bit of fatherly advice-" Rufus began in an attempt at being helpful.

"You raised Dan and Jenny" Chuck cut him off. "If I want my daughter to turn into a judgmental douche or an insubordinate brat or a person with really bad hair I'll give you a call. Until then it's speak when spoken to."

"I was going to say use earplugs when you try and sit through a crying spell" Rufus said good-naturedly.

"There are several modes of transportation for you to get back to the city right now if this inconveniences you" Chuck snarled.

"Rufus why don't you and Jenny go for a stroll in the garden?" Lily suggested. "It might be a while before the little baby falls asleep."

Rufus said something in reply but it was drowned out by the baby's cries. He left the room and Chuck strode back over to the crib, running his hand through his hair.

"Come on Grace _please _stop crying" he said before turning to Lily. "The neighbors are going to hear this and they're going to call social services on me and for the next seventeen years I'll only get to see Grace during monitored visits a weekend a month!"

He reached down his hand to caress the baby and it had a slightly soothing effect but nowhere near what Chuck would like. Lily remained calm and he couldn't understand what was wrong with her to not be bothered by the sobs.

"You need to toughen your skin Charles" Lily said calmly.

"And you need to grow a heart."

He sat back down and took a deep breath. Neither he nor Lily said anything else for a while. After what seemed like hours to Chuck Grace's cries grew quieter and at last she was completely silent. Chuck glanced over at the crib and sat up straight.

"She's asleep" Lily smiled.

"You sure she's not _dead_?" Chuck said, only half joking, and got up to tiptoe to the crib.

"Let's go downstairs" Lily said in a whisper and got up as well.

"No" Chuck whispered back. "I'm staying. She might wake up at any time and-"

"Get your behind out the door and down the stairs right now or I'll ground you. I don't care how old you are."

Chuck gave her a surprised look but obediently grabbed the monitor. He figured he might as well do as she ordered. The sooner they had that talk she wanted them to have the sooner he could get her out of his sight.

"You have some great years ahead of you Charles" Lily said in a nostalgic tone as they walked down the stairs. "There's nothing like it, having young children. You are their whole world, the most important person in their life." She sighed bitterly. "You can only pray she won't start to resent you once she becomes a teenager."

"I'm thinking if I don't abandon her to go jetting off to Europe with my latest fling every other year I'll be off to a good start" Chuck said coldly.

"Look at Rufus" Lily said. "I may not have been the best parent but he has always been a wonderful father. That hasn't kept him and Jenny from having problems."

"Perhaps Humphrey Sr. focused too much on being best buds with his annoying offspring and forgot to actually _parent_ her" Chuck suggested. "I don't intend on letting Grace control me the way Jenny can control him."

"Oh you say that now" Lily scoffed. "Just you wait. Sooner or later she's going to start doing and saying things beyond your control."

"I would very much like to know what part of her behavior tonight you thought was in my control."

"You and Blair are going to be the people she loves the most… and the people she's angry at the most."

"You know, I think if people are good parents their children won't end up resenting them" Chuck replied.

"It's a natural process of liberating oneself from one's parents."

"Do you honestly think that your relationship with Serena and Rufus' relationship with Jenny are normal?"Chuck couldn't help but ask.

"I'm saying you shouldn't be so quick to judge. You have an infant. She won't always be this little."

"I know" Chuck said, taking a seat on the couch. "But let's face it Lily, when it comes to parenting you are no Yoda. Now what is it you want to talk to me about?"

"For starters I should much like to know how you are doing these days" Lily said, sitting down next to him. "I barely see you at all. A lot has happened in your life in the past twelve months and I want to make sure you are okay."

"Look" Chuck sighed. "I might be able to agree to us being… friends. Of sorts. But let's not pretend that you are in any way my caregiver. You're doing a great job with Bass Industries, I will be the last person to deny that. But I'm not interested in talking to you about the troubles in my life."

"There's nothing wrong with leaning on someone, Charles" Lily said.

Chuck didn't respond, thinking to himself that thus far everyone he had leaned on had left him or turned out to be untrustworthy. Maybe there was nothing _wrong_ with it but he couldn't see any real benefits to it either.

"I know you disapprove of me seeing Rufus" Lily continued. "Your father is dead Charles. My life has to go on."

"Just _weeks_ after his death?" Chuck asked in a voice that was so sad it made Lily pause for a moment before she replied.

"I don't want you to think that your father wasn't important to me."

"Not important enough for you to remain completely faithful, now was he?" Chuck said, wishing she hadn't breached that particular topic since it was still very sore. "Not important enough for you to mourn his death until his body was cold."

"I-"

"Forgive me if I find it hard to lean on and confide in someone who claims to have cared a great deal for my father yet treated him and his memory in such a way. How do I know you won't discard me the moment it's convenient for you? How do I know my daughter will be able to rely on you? I admit I have been a touch petty perhaps and that you and I should try and find some common ground but right now that is very low on my list of priorities."

"Seek me out when you feel ready" Lily offered. "Perhaps me still being there whenever you do feel ready will prove to you that I mean it when I say I want you as part of my family."

The patio doors opened and Jenny and Rufus came inside. Chuck glanced over at them and nodded his head in their direction.

"You and I may be family someday… But they will never be my family."

"You might feel differently later on."

Chuck snorted, doubting that he would. He got up and walked towards the kitchen.

"Thanks for the chat Lily" he said. "I trust you will make good on your promise that I won't be bothered by the lot of you this weekend. Next time you want to come and stay at one of my father's houses make sure to ask me first. I inherited his estates, not you."

He walked out of the room. Jenny rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch.

"What was that all about, really?" she wondered.

"Oh he's had a rough night, let him be" Lily advised.

She smiled at Jenny but wished she and Rufus hadn't gotten back just yet. She would have liked some more time to talk to her adoptive son but at least they had made some form of progress.

* * *

The following four nights Grace screamed like a banshee when she was put down in her crib. Blair had been just as opposed to the idea as Chuck had been but Lily managed to convince them both that this was the best decision to make. When Grace finally agreed to being placed in the crib while still awake both Chuck and Blair felt mentally exhausted and went straight to bed without further ado even though it was only eight o'clock.

The following morning Chuck sat down in Blair's room, reading a newspaper while Blair folded baby clothes. She hated doing laundry but enjoyed folding the clothes and organizing them in the baby's dresser, though Chuck pointed out that it would make more sense to sort them by weather type than color.

"Who cares what the weather is?" Blair snorted, folding a blue blouse. "It's summer. It's sunny today, it was sunny yesterday and it's going to be sunny tomorrow."

"Who cares what color she wears?" Chuck retorted. "She's my offspring. She can pull off any color."

Blair smirked. The uncomfortable mood that had arisen between them after the final Yale debate had gone away with the arrival of Lily, Rufus and Jenny. Blair had been no happier to see them than Chuck and the two of them had quickly set aside their most recent difficulties and banded together in their annoyance by their company. Luckily Lily and her followers had gone back to New York by now and Blair, Chuck and Grace had the house to themselves again.

"Thank God your annoying relatives have finally left" Blair commented, grabbing a pair of beige baby pants from the pile of clean laundry.

"May I remind you that by calling them my relatives you do not merely insult me but also the little one?" Chuck said dryly.

"Point. Speaking of, I can't see her. Where is she?"

"Safely on the floor where you left her" Chuck said. He glanced up from his paper, looked at the baby and chuckled. "She really is cute. Check out what she's doing now."

Grace had shuffled over to the floor-length mirror next to the closets and was staring at her own reflection, gaping in awe. She leaned forward and supported herself with one hand, reaching out the other to touch the baby she saw gaping back at her. When her hand touched the mirror she made a surprised noise and drew the hand back. Then she placed her palm against it again and made a few babbling noises as if trying to talk to the girl looking back at her.

"Who is that Grace?" Blair asked, walking up to her. "Who's that pretty little girl in the mirror?"

She knelt behind her daughter and leaned forward so that her head was almost at level with the baby's. She smiled warmly at her in the mirror. Grace's expression turned into one of joy and she pointed at Blair's reflection.

"Mama!"

Blair felt her heart swell the way it always did when Grace called her '_Mama_'. She knew of no sound that was as beautiful as the sound of her daughter's voice and that particular word sounded especially beautiful when coming from Grace. She hugged the baby from behind and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. She knew it was starting to upset Chuck that Grace never said '_Dada_' or '_Papa_' but Blair knew she would get there eventually. She didn't say anything at all with the letters D or P in them, she simply hadn't learned to say those yet. Blair was sure that whenever Grace said '_Baba_' it was Chuck she was talking about.

"Mama!" Grace said again.

"Yes that's Mommy" Blair said. "And who is with Mommy? Huh? Who is that?"

Grace looked at her own reflection again. Blair gave her another kiss and Grace's smile turned into a frown when she saw her mother kissing the baby in the mirror. She turned to Blair and reached up her arms.

"Mama!"

"Good grief, is she jealous of herself?" Chuck asked. "Mighty possessive of her."

Blair gave Grace another big kiss and tousled her curls.

"She doesn't understand that the baby in the mirror is not her."

"You'd think she'd notice that when you kissed the baby in the mirror you were also kissing her."

Blair reached for one of the toys on the floor and held it up to the baby.

"Listen, I'm taking Grace with me to the city over the weekend."

"You're mother's wedding" Chuck nodded.

"I was planning on leaving Grace with you but Mother wants her to be there. God knows why. She's not going to remember any of it."

"I say bless Eleanor for not cheating our baby out of being a flower girl."

Blair shot him a look.

"She's eleven _months_, not eleven _years_. She'd probably eat the flowers."

"Still, you're surprised Eleanor wants her there?" Chuck asked, turning the page in his newspaper. "Wedding pictures without the grandchild?"

"True, I suppose…" Blair said, looking at the baby with a thoughtful expression. "Why do they have to have the wedding now? Can't it wait? I'm not looking forward to leaving the Hamptons haven and going out to a noisy and hot city. Especially not with a baby."

"Is the wedding going to be big?"

"Of course not, if they were inviting guests you would have been on the list. It's just Mom, Cyrus, Aaron and me. And Grace."

"No minister or rabbi?" Chuck teased. "Maybe Grace can wed them?"

"You would do such an excellent job, wouldn't you sweetie?" Blair cooed and tickled the baby. "You would be just perfect."

Chuck laughed a little. He put his paper aside and rose from his armchair. He walked over and reached down for Grace's hands, pulling her up to standing.

"You want to know what would be perfect? If you took your first steps before your birthday. When I was your age I was already walking."

"Don't hold your breath" Blair advised. "She hasn't learned to crawl yet."

"Maybe she'll skip that part and go directly to walking."

"Grace does not take shortcuts" Blair decided.

"Please take a shortcut honey" Chuck said to the baby. "For Papa."

"Baa…" Grace said.

"_Papa_" Chuck instructed.

"Mama" Grace said instead.

"I'm the richer one here, I'm the one you should be sucking up to" Chuck told her. "_Papa_. Or _Dada_. Come on Grace, you can say it."

"Pick one and stick with it" Blair advised. "Going back and forth between the two probably just confuses her."

"I need you to give me something here" Chuck said, lifting Grace up into his arms. "Either calling me _Dada_ or taking your first steps. I'd love both but I'll settle for either one. Just please give me that before you move to New Haven. Please honey?"

"Waba" Grace said.

"Maybe that's '_Dad_' in Cantonese?" Chuck said to Blair in a resigned tone.

Blair smiled and caressed Grace's cheek.

"I should go make arrangements for our trip to the city" she said. "We'll leave on Friday and be back Sunday or Monday."

Chuck nodded and kissed the baby's cheek. He would miss her but at least this time she would only be gone a few days.

* * *

Blair sat with one leg crossed over the other and Grace straddled on her thigh. The baby leaned forward and rested against Blair's chest, sticking a hand in her mouth.

"Darling, put the baby down" Eleanor said. "She'll slobber all over your dress."

"I like the baby better than the dress" Blair replied, feeling surprisingly sullen. This should be a happy occasion but she wasn't entirely at ease.

There were two primary reasons for her state of mind. One of which came to the forefront when Cyrus walked over with a brimming smile and lifted Grace up to cuddle with her.

"My new little granddaughter!" he cooed. "You and I are family now. Yay!"

Blair smiled politely. Not that she minded Cyrus being the baby's step-grandfather. She really liked Cyrus and he had a great hand with babies. But it had felt a bit weird standing there while her mother married someone else. Even though she knew it wasn't a betrayal of her father it felt a bit like a betrayal of her family of birth. And she knew that someday Grace might be the one standing there while her mother, or her father for that matter, married someone who would become a stepparent. The issue of stepparents had been brought up before but Blair didn't like thinking about it so she tried to put it from her mind. Only that wasn't so easy when she was at her own mother's wedding.

If she and Chuck never got together then perhaps it would be easier for Grace the day she or Chuck married someone else. But what if they did get together and somewhere down the line the split up and married other people? Blair wasn't sure she could stomach that idea. She knew that once she got to have Chuck for real she would always see him as hers. But the thought of her own heartbreak if Chuck would ever marry someone else was still easier to handle than the thought of Grace being unhappy with either one of her parents marrying someone else. At least Blair was fortunate enough to really like both her stepfathers. What if Grace was not so lucky? Would Chuck walk away from a woman if Grace did not like her? Would Blair herself be able to walk away from someone she loved in such a situation?

"My first grandchild" Cyrus grinned, bringing Blair back to the moment.

"Guess this takes the pressure off of me" Aaron chuckled.

"I can't wait till you come back from your summer vacation so we can see each other every day" Cyrus cooed to the baby.

"Enjoy it while it lasts darling" Eleanor advised and lifted Grace over to her own embrace. "Before we know it this little dear is breaking Grandma's heart and moving to New Haven. But you'll miss Grandma' every day, won't you?"

"So you're going to Yale?" Cyrus said to Blair. "I thought since you had the nursery set up this spring you would be staying here. You know, Columbia is a very fine school."

"When I had the nursery done I didn't know I would be spending summer out in the Hamptons" Blair said. "I thought Grace would sleep there until we moved for college. Mom let me have her again. If you don't want her drooling on my dress you ought to be even more concerned with your own."

"Cyrus and I leave for our honeymoon tomorrow and we'll be gone for two weeks" Eleanor said, ignoring Blair's request. "You might as well stay here dear and not take the baby back out to the Hamptons. Summer is almost over anyway."

Blair made a face. That was the other reason for her less than joyous mood. Going back to the city for a weekend reminded her far too much that summer was almost at an end and with it the days of leisure. She and Grace and Chuck had been living family life since June. The thought of that ending wasn't appealing.

"I promised Chuck we'd go back out" she said and rose to take the baby from her mother. "Come here Grace."

"Why doesn't Charles come back to the city as well?" Eleanor asked. "The two of you could both use some time to get things in order before fall."

"We will Mother" Blair said, sitting back down. "In due time."

"Grace's birthday is only three weeks away. If you don't care about coming back in time to pack for college you should at least care to come back and plan her birthday celebration."

Blair nodded. It had been at the back of her mind all summer. She wanted Grace's first birthday to be memorable. Perhaps it was time to return to the city so that she could make all the arrangements. She would have to discuss it with Chuck when she got back out to the Hamptons. They both had to realize that their summer was over and with it their days of happy leisure. Fall was coming and with it came a whole lot of changes.

* * *

Here's hoping I won't get writer's block with the last chapter as well… Thanks for reading and please leave a review!


	50. Chapter 50

And so we arrive on the birthday chapter… I seriously cannot believe you guys have been with me for fifty chapters! I appreciate you guys so much; you have no idea! When I first started writing this I didn't think anyone would be very interested since the premise is not exactly original. The inspiration and encouragement I've gotten from all of you has really been amazing, so thank you so much for that. Before I start getting sappy, there's something I should mention.

**Word of warning**: This is the last chapter I'm posting on this site but I am not ending the actual story. I'm still working on it, though I'll go into further detail about that in the end note. I have tried my best to write this chapter in a way that makes it a good place to stop reading but not a complete end to the story, since if I do the latter I shoot myself in the foot for the continuation. This means that I won't tie up every loose end or settle every issue. Hopefully this chapter will feel satisfactory anyway and you will leave with the feeling that the unresolved issues are on their way to being settled. I have made a promise earlier during the story regarding Chuck and Blair and I have done my best to keep it. I really hope no one will feel disappointed with the ending but you should know before you start to read it that not all storylines and issues will come to a close in chapter 50.

With that less-than-encouraging AN out of the way… Here's the final chapter!

* * *

When the baby's crying woke her up in the morning Blair tossed the covers aside and skipped out of bed with an unusually excited smile. She hurried over to the next room and lifted her daughter up from her crib.

"There we go…" she said and held Grace in her arms. She couldn't believe how big she was now. "My big girl… My one year old daughter…" She gave her a big kiss. "I can't believe you're a whole year old. Your very first birthday."

The door opened and Dorota came hurrying in with a big smile on her face and a video camera in her hand. Blair looked slightly horrified.

"Dorota don't even think about using that thing" she warned.

"Baby's first birthday must be documented" Dorota grinned.

"On that we agree" Blair said. "But the baby's mother does not need to be documented fresh out of bed. Go heat up a bottle of milk."

Dorota looked disappointed for a second but then the excitement over the baby's birthday won and the big grin was back on her face. She put the camcorder in the pocket of her robe and hurried out to get the bottle.

"You've got a really big day coming up today" Blair said to Grace. "We're having a party. Grandma' made you a beautiful dress to wear. People will be giving you presents and singing '_Happy Birthday_' to you and you will be the center of everyone's attention. You can even have a slice of cake." She smiled a bit wider. "Your grandfather and Roman are coming in from France. Some of New York's prominent citizens will be stopping by. And Daddy's going to be here. He probably got something really nice for you. It's your first birthday after all."

She realized she had just listed Chuck's presence among the things that would be Very Special about the day. Even though Chuck saw the baby on a daily basis. She really was getting sappy where he was concerned.

"Now, let's get you some breakfast" she said to the baby. "Then we're going to give you a bath. And we're going to dress you up in the dress Grandma' made and comb your hair and put on the new headband I got you. Doesn't that sound good?"

"Guh" Grace said.

"Yeah, it sounds good."

She took a seat in the armchair and played peek-a-boo with the baby until Dorota returned with the bottle.

"After Grace has had her bath we should go over everything for the party" Blair said to Dorota as she began to feed the baby. "I want everything to be perfect. No mistakes or mishaps."

"No mistakes" Dorota nodded eagerly.

"Do we have confirmation on when the cake arrives?"

"Will make call when baby takes bath."

"Good." She smiled down at Grace. "You have gotten so big in just one year. Yes you have. Thank goodness you weren't this big a year ago."

Dorota rolled her eyes which Blair pretended not to see.

"Will also call caterer and double-check when food arrives" Dorota said.

"Excellent."

"Do you want special baby food for birthday girl?"

"She should get something special to eat for her birthday…" Blair agreed. "I was thinking she could eat the same thing we're eating, properly mashed or cut into teeny tiny pieces of course. The baby books say they can start eating the same things as their parents when they're a year old so what better time to start than today?"

"I don't think they literally mean from first birthday."

"What you think is irrelevant" Blair frowned.

"Mood very bright on big day" Dorota noted dryly and walked out of the room.

"I am in a bright mood" Blair told Grace in a sweet tone. "Yes I am."

Grace burped. Blair, who was usually grossed out by that, just smiled.

"It's been a wonderful year honey" she said. "Being your Mom is so great, yes it is. You know, when you came I thought I was in love with Nate and felt nothing for your father. Now Chuck is the only one I want. Don't you think it's time we stopped stalling and became a real family? Wouldn't that be a great birthday gift for you?"

She kissed Grace's brow and felt ready to burst with anticipation. Today everything felt just right. Blair had missed seeing Chuck all the time since they returned to the city and she knew Grace missed him too. Today he would be arriving early and staying late. Even with all the guests it would be like their summer days in the Hamptons.

"Buh" Grace said when she was finished eating. "Bahbah."

"That's right" Blair said and got up from the chair. "Dada's coming over. Let's go get you ready."

* * *

"Oh good, you're here" Blair chirped an hour later, coming down the stairs as Chuck set a bag of presents down on the gift table. "No don't put your presents there. That's where the guests' presents go. Hurry up and follow me upstairs. I thought we should sing to her before everyone gets here, you know, serenade her privately."

"Sing '_Happy Birthday_'?" Chuck asked, picking his bag up again and grabbing a large present from the floor.

"Yeah what else would we sing?"

"I don't know" he shrugged. "'_Amazing Grace_' perhaps?"

Blair grinned widely and he returned the smile. They walked up the stairs and Blair felt her excitement grow even further. He seemed so relaxed and so content. He had been more relaxed for the past couple of weeks and he no longer seemed to shy away when she got too close. She hadn't tried any real advances, afraid of being rejected again, but she was toying with the idea of doing more than just casually flirting with him. Not right here though and not right now. It would have to wait until later.

They walked inside the nursery where Grace was sitting on a carpet on the floor together with Dorota. Chuck grinned when he saw her, dressed in an outfit which looked like the baby version of the famous one Audrey Hepburn wore in "_Breakfast at Tiffany's_". Black seemed an odd choice for a girl's first birthday party but somehow it fitted the baby.

"What do you think of her outfit?" Blair asked. "Mom designed it."

"You mean she copied it" Chuck grinned. "Gracie you look fabulous. Perhaps on later birthdays Daddy can take you to Tiffany's for breakfast and buy you whatever piece of jewelry you like. This year though I got you some stuff more appropriate for one-year-olds."

He sunk down on the carpet next to her and felt his heart swell when she reached out her hands for him. Dorota got up and hurried to get the camera while Blair sat down on Grace's other side and gave her a little hug. They sang "_Happy Birthday_" to her and then opened the presents. Blair opened the ones Chuck had bought and vice versa. They tried to get Grace interested in helping out but she was far too fascinated with the big, red, shiny bow on one of the presents to care about anything else.

"You know Grace, if you're not going to '_oooh'_ and '_aaah'_ over the stuff I get you I won't be as inclined to spoil you" Chuck remarked.

"She will '_oooh'_ and '_aaah'_" Blair said. "Just not right now. I love the toy limo you got her. It's precious! Though I think it would have been a more appropriate gift for her next year."

He chuckled and lifted Grace up to place her on the limo even though she was too little for it yet. It was the classic Bobby-Car toy only in the shape of a rather short limo. Grace looked confused and stuck her hand in her mouth.

"Seriously, these are from ages two and up" Blair said.

"No matter, we can hold on to it until next year" Chuck shrugged.

"Did you have this designed especially for her?" Blair wondered. "I've never seen them in a limo edition before."

"Limos are significant in your life" Chuck told Grace. "Not just because it's how your old man travels. You were quite possibly made in a limo."

"Chuck!" Blair exclaimed. "That thing Dorota's holding – it records."

"So we have it on record, then."

"There are some things Grace does not need to know and the details of her possible conception are among them" Blair said and adjusted Grace's headband. "Get her off that thing now. She'll be able to use it more when she's older. Come here Grace, come take a look at the bunny."

Chuck lifted her off the limo and sat her down on the floor. Grace shuffled over to Blair, reaching for the bunny plushie Blair had gotten her. She grabbed it by an ear and tried to shove as much of the other ear as possible into her mouth.

"Hungry?" Chuck asked.

"We should get her ready to go downstairs" Blair said. "People will start arriving soon. We have a big day ahead of us."

He nodded and got up. Blair rose, lifting Grace and the bunny and carrying them both out the door with Chuck in tow. She glanced over her shoulder and found Chuck's eyes were on her and not the baby. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

* * *

Serena put her present down on the table with the other gifts and looked around to try and spot the birthday girl or her parents. She found Blair, who lit up and came hurrying over.

"Hey B!" Serena said. "Congratulations! Both to you and to my niece. Looks like the party has gotten started."

"Everything is perfect" Blair beamed and grabbed Serena's hands. "The guest list is perfect, the food is just the right touch of sophisticated without being too odd for a birthday party for a one year-old and did I tell you about the cake?"

"Cake?" Serena said and raised an eyebrow with a smile. "Wow, I didn't know you actually ate cake."

"Who said anything about _me_ eating it?" Blair replied. "No, S, I got it at this great bakery that does novelty cakes. At first I was going to go for something like a kitten or a ladybug but then I figured those cakes are meant to please the _child_ and Grace is too little to get it. So instead I got a cake shaped like the number 1, with twelve pictures of Grace on it, one from each month of her life."

"So you don't mind people eating your baby?"

"Don't ruin this for me" Blair begged, realizing that Serena had a point.

"I'm sorry Blair, I'm sure the cake looks great. Where is the birthday girl?"

"She's in the kitchen with her Dada, who's giving her lunch."

"Okay, it creeps me out when you talk about Chuck that way."

"You should see her S" Blair fawned. "The dress Mother made for her is gorgeous and she looks so much like a little princess!"

"You've been saying that for exactly one year now" Serena pointed out with a smile.

"The only problem is that hair of hers" Blair said. "How did Chuck and I end up with such a curly haired child?"

"Don't badmouth the curly hair" Serena advised. "You know it will be a great asset to her when she's older."

"Provided that it stays curly" Blair pointed out. "Which I pray it doesn't. Have you any idea how difficult it is to comb through those curls? Especially when the person the curls are attached to is a one year old girl who thinks you're just pulling her hair. God, I shudder at the thought of trying to manage that hair when she's two or three."

"No pain no gain" Serena shrugged with a smile. "It's something Waldorf women learn at an early age, is it not?"

"Not _this_ early" Blair muttered.

"Forget about her hair for now. I'm gonna go give the birthday girl a big hug and a kiss" Serena said.

"Actually I'd rather you wait for a while" Blair said. "Let her eat her lunch first. I'm getting a bit worried that all the commotion might be overwhelming for her and right now she's enjoying a quiet moment."

"Well can _I_ get lunch?" Serena asked. "I'm starving."

"Sure" Blair smiled, linking her arm with Serena's and leading her off towards the food. "Just save room for cake."

* * *

"There we go" Chuck said, holding up another spoon full of food to the baby. "Open up wide. Take a bite for your Grandpa' Harold."

Grace greedily took the bite. Her meal was almost done but Chuck had a feeling she could go on eating for a good while yet. She always seemed to have an appetite.

"Save some room for cake, birthday girl" he said and smiled warmly at her. "I cannot get over the fact that my daughter is a whole year old. I'm almost grateful you were born in the evening so technically you're not a year old _yet_."

"Bo!"

"What? Are you trying to say 'old'? Or are you trying to say 'more'? Here, open wide and get some more food."

"Foow."

"You can't say '_Dada_' but you can say '_Food_'."

He was in a spectacular mood. His initial melancholy after arriving back in the city had vanished and he could be appreciative of the summer they had had without being bitter that it was over. They had made a compromise for the fall which would allow Blair to go to Yale without either parent having to spend too much time away from the child and Blair's behavior towards him hadn't changed afterward. The concerns he had had at the start of summer, that she was trying to take advantage of his feelings for her to allow her to get her way with Yale, seemed unfounded now. She was still flirting with him, still looking at him that way, still giving every sign that she had feelings for him and right now he couldn't think of a single reason why she would be trying to trick him. He was starting to feel hope that she could love him after all and that they could have something really great together. Normally he would be cautious to feelings like that, worried that he might get swept away and end up hurt because he believed in something that wasn't real, but today he didn't want to think like that. It was Grace's first birthday and he wanted to feel good.

"Here's the last bite" he said to Grace. "One for Roman."

She took the bite and he grabbed a napkin to clean her face when she was done. She made a protesting noise when she realized she wasn't getting more food and he shook his head with a laugh.

"You little glutton" he said, lifting her up. "Come on. There are a lot of people here to celebrate you. We should get back to them."

He carried her out to the other room, chatting happily with her along the way. He enjoyed seeing her at the center of everyone's attention and more than that he enjoyed how much she loved being in the spotlight. He had read in the baby books that one year-olds were usually shy in larger crowds but even though Grace was often shy towards strangers she seemed to enjoy being in the spotlight like this. It reminded Chuck of Blair and it was something he found very charming.

His eyes met Blair's for what seemed like the hundredth time today and they shared a smile. She came over with Serena in tow and took Grace from him.

"Did Daddy give you lunch, huh?" she asked, kissing the girl's cheek.

"Yes and now Daddy wants to get some lunch for himself" Chuck said, stealing a caviar covered cracker from Serena's plate. "Mmm, this is good. Here Grace, have some caviar. You'll like it."

He grabbed another one of Serena's crackers and scooped caviar up with his finger, offering it to Grace who greedily ate it.

"Told you it was good" he grinned.

"Okay, you go get something to eat" Blair said, adjusting her grip. "When you're done we should take the princess upstairs for her nap."

"Why not take her upstairs right away?" Chuck asked.

"She should meet her guests first" Blair chirped.

She walked off with Grace and Chuck headed for the food. He grabbed a plate and started to fill it, casting glances at Blair as often as he dared to without being indiscreet. Was it really possible that he was what she wanted? A year ago she had cried because Grace had turned out to be his. A lot had changed since then. He wanted to believe that it was for real.

* * *

"Come little princess, let's get you to sleep" Blair said softly while Chuck removed her bedspread and pulled the comforter aside.

Grace was practically asleep already, head resting heavily on her mother's shoulder. Blair gently laid her down on the bed and caressed her cheek as Chuck pulled the comforter up and tucked the little girl in. Usually it was a fight to get Grace to take her afternoon nap but today all the excitement had made her sleepy.

"You need a good, long nap so you're awake enough for your birthday cake this evening" Blair said gently, sitting down on the bed on one side of Grace while Chuck sat down on the other. "My big girl… We had it kind of rough you and I, this day last year."

Chuck looked up at her with inquisitive eyes, then turned them back to the baby. Blair hadn't missed his look and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing, I just… It hit me, I've never really asked you about her birth."

"Asked me what?"

"Just… asked you. About any of it."

"Why would you ask me about that?" Blair said with a little laugh.

"Because I love my daughter and the details around how she came into the world might be of interest to me?"

"Trust me, it's not that interesting."

"I beg to differ. I mean, I don't even know how long it took."

Blair looked thoughtful for a second, counting the hours that had passed between her first contraction and Grace being born.

"Not counting the dull pain I had in my back the two days leading up to it… About twelve hours" she said. "Which they told me is remarkably fast given the circumstances."

"What circumstances?"

"You know, first time mother, epidural, that sort of thing."

"Was it very painful?"

"Chuck" Blair said, almost blushing at what felt like a very private question.

"If you're okay talking about it I would really like to know."

"Sure, I guess…" Blair said with hesitation. "But it doesn't really affect _Grace_ all that much, does it?"

"You know I feel strongly about you" he said without any hesitation or any walls raised. "Childbirth really creeps me out, probably because of what happened to my mother. I think I would rather know if you underwent torture or if it went okay rather than let my imagination fill in the blanks. If it's okay with you."

"It hurt" Blair said after a second. "At first, like really bad cramps."

"Can't say that I can relate."

She chuckled.

"Sorry. Don't know how else to describe it. I wanted to go to the hospital right away but Mom said I should wait. Then I went, and they sent me back home and told me to come back when the contractions were ten minutes apart or less. I told them to go to hell and reminded them that I was a crème-de-la-crème Upper East Side teenager having Bart Bass' grandchild and I wasn't going anywhere without a hefty dose of epidural in me."

"Played the Bart Bass card" Chuck noted with an eyebrow raised. "My, my Waldorf… Did it work?"

"It did."

"Good to know me and my heritage were of some use to you that day, and not just something you cursed loudly over."

"There was cursing" Blair admitted reluctantly. "Says my mom anyway. I honestly don't remember."

"I can't say I blame you. For cursing, I mean."

"Luckily I didn't have to wait long to get the epidural, although let me tell you, it's not the miracle cure for pain it's marketed as."

"The thought of a giant needle in the spine seems painful enough to me" Chuck said, making a face.

"Yeah, well, you're not so concerned about it in a situation like that" Blair said. "Problem wasn't the needle per se, problem was that the anesthesiologist didn't manage to get it quite right. It worked once, but they're supposed to refill it after a while or something, and… Well, long story short, he had to redo it later. And then the damn thing wore off anyway in the middle of the actual delivery. _That_ hurt like you wouldn't believe."

Chuck cringed.

"At least you were pretty much done then, right?"

"Oh she took another good thirty minutes or so before she bothered entering the world" Blair said, running her hand through her daughter's curls.

"On second thought I think I would have preferred _not_ knowing that much about her birth" Chuck said, cringing again.

"You know, you forget about all of it when the baby is out" Blair said thoughtfully, thinking back on her delivery. "I guess it's some sort of endorphin rush or something. Who cares about pain anymore when you're eager to see the baby? Then of course comes the shock of what a baby actually looks like the minute it is born."

Chuck laughed and glanced down at their child.

"Oh I remember that cone head and that messed up nose very well" he said.

"Forget about the shape of the head and the nose" Blair said. "When you watch a movie and a woman has a baby they get this enormous, perfectly clean child handed to them. Let me tell you, they're not all that clean in real life."

"I know that. I was unfortunate enough to see that birthing video at the parenting classes, remember?"

"I had conveniently forgotten about that when she came" Blair said with a sigh. "My first thought when I saw her was actually that she was insanely gross."

"Blair" Chuck protested.

"I'm sorry, but that's the truth. She was kind of purple, which I guess was a clear-cut sign that she was yours, and covered in this… icky substance. Once they had cleaned her off a bit I saw that she is actually gorgeous."

"Poor little thing" Chuck said, caressing Grace's cheek. "Just been born, thrown out into this cruel and unfriendly world with only her parents on her side… Her mother thinks she's ugly and her father thinks she's deformed. If we ever tell her that we're going to have so many issues to deal with that it won't even be funny."

"I'd rather we tell her about how much we love her and how insanely cute she's been her whole life since she got cleaned up in the delivery room."

"And since the cone head went away."

"I can't believe how big she's gotten in just a year" Blair said, studying her carefully. "And how much she's changed. All we could really tell when she was newborn was that she had your jaw line. The rest was a big question mark."

"I find it interesting that she has your doe-eyes, but my eye color…" Chuck said. "At least I think it's my eye color she's ending up with. So weird to look at her eyes and see both of us at the same time."

"Do those eyes look as big on me as they do on her?" Blair asked.

Chuck laughed.

"That has to be the weirdest question I have heard in a long time."

"No, but I mean, look at them" Blair said, laughing a little as well. "They're enormous on her! I mean I love it, it makes her look like a precious baby doll, but she's a baby so that's okay. Do they look the same on me?"

"I think I've read somewhere that your eyes never change their size" Chuck said. "The size they are when your born is the size they are when you die. Don't know if it's true or not but since the rest of her face is somewhat smaller than yours…"

"I guess that could explain it" Blair nodded.

"Those big eyes are to her advantage, really" Chuck said. "I mean, have you ever met anyone so curious? From the age when she became aware of the world around her for real she has been trying to investigate everything that comes her way. Seems to fit that enormous eyes would be helpful to investigate the world around you."

"I don't know where she gets this curiosity from."

"Aren't babies naturally curious? Though I see what you mean. She seems more curious than all other kids we meet."

"I think it's a sign of her intelligence" Blair said. "You and I are both fairly smart. She's going to leave the rest of the kids her age behind the moment she starts school."

Chuck nodded.

"Yeah she's smart, alright."

"And creative. And driven."

"Perfect" Chuck concluded. "But it comes as no surprise. She's the daughter of Chuck Bass, after all."

"And the fact that she turned out creative, smart and driven anyway really speaks to her credit."

Chuck smirked.

"Admit it Waldorf… You love that she takes after her papa. You enjoy having a child who's clearly part Bass."

"True, you're not so bad…" Blair said with a soft smile, and let a finger trace along the baby's jaw line.

Chuck looked at her with a smile that almost took her breath away. There was something different in his eyes, as if he was no longer simply joking. There was a touch of seriousness in his smile.

"Admit it Waldorf… You wish it was _my_ face you were touching right now."

"Chuck" Blair frowned. "Our child is right here."

Chuck leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth, which caused her to gasp.

"Thank you…" he said. "For my child."

It took her a second to form an answer.

"I… Thank _you_ for her."

"You're welcome" Chuck said softly.

Blair swallowed and felt herself moving closer to him, slowly, inch by inch. But she hadn't gotten far before the door opened and Dorota came tiptoeing in.

"Is baby sleeping?" she asked.

"Yeah" Blair said casually.

"Good" Dorota said, oblivious to what she had just walked in on. "Then bring baby monitor and come back down to guests. They are asking for you."

Chuck nodded and got off the bed. Blair felt extremely disappointed, having forgotten all about the people downstairs and much preferring to stay with Chuck.

"Miss Blair?" Dorota said.

With a faked smile Blair got up and grabbed the baby monitor. She looked over at Chuck who flashed her a smile. She hoped he would decide to stick around when the guests went home and maybe they could recapture the moment Dorota had managed to ruin.

"I don't know why it takes this long to put baby in bed" Dorota said, sounding annoyed. "Miss Grace practically asleep already when you brought her upstairs."

Blair's eyes met Chuck's again. He gave her a smile which caused a big smile to spread across her own face. He hadn't said a word but the look in his eyes made her sure that this wasn't going to be another one of those far too often occurring times when it seemed like something more would happen between them but then something interrupted them and nothing came of it. Judging by the look in his eyes he had no intention of going home tonight.

They walked down the stairs to join their guests but as far as Blair was concerned this perfect party could not come to an end soon enough. As long as it was going on she would have to pretend to be indifferent to Chuck even though she was acutely aware of his presence at all times. Once it was over she could have him all to herself and would not have to be aware of anything but him. She could hardly wait.

* * *

Grace napped for an hour and then woke up, crying angrily when she noticed she was alone. Chuck, who had the baby monitor in his pocket, went upstairs to get her and Blair breathed a sigh of relief. Guests were getting impatient, wanting to get to the cake-and-presents part of the program, but given how tired Grace had been Blair wouldn't have been surprised if she slept for hours. When Chuck came down the stairs with the baby in his arms people started to sing "_Happy Birthday_" and the newly woken girl got suddenly shy and hid her face against her father's shoulder.

"Don't be shy Grace" Chuck said. "Come, you're going to get your very first taste of cake! Yummy." He looked up at Blair. "Do we put her in her chair?"

"No, I want to hold her" Blair said. "I gave birth to her a year ago today; I want her in my arms when we cut the cake. Call me weird but I want to hold her close."

She went to take a seat and Chuck placed Grace in her arms. He reached for the bib Blair had given her earlier in the day and put it on her. He then grabbed his phone and took a picture of the two of them.

"Cake!" Serena urged.

"Relax sis, you'll get your calories" Chuck smirked, putting his phone away. "Grace can you blow out the candle?"

Dorota brought in the cake and placed it in front of Blair and Grace. She then produced a 1 candle, put it on the cake and lit it.

"Make wish!" she grinned.

Blair shared a look with Chuck, grabbed a firmer hold on Grace and leaned forward to blow out the candle. Chuck leaned in as well and together they blew it out. Grace protested loudly and someone laughingly commented that she had wanted to blow the candle out herself.

"Did you make a wish, Grace?" Chuck asked. He was looking at Blair and she felt like he was asking her and not the child.

"A very good wish" she replied, unsure if she was replying on behalf of Grace or herself.

"Alright, now what part of the cake would you like to try?" Chuck asked, looking for something to cut the cake with. "Any particular month you liked better than the rest? Although I have to say the thought of eating a picture of my daughter creeps me out a bit."

"Just cut us a slice" Blair said. "What do you think Grace? You want some cake? Cake is very special and something we can only have at birthdays."

"Or weddings" Serena filled in, cutting herself a slice while Chuck handed Blair a platter and a spoon. "Or when we're really depressed. Or PMS-ing."

"We get it S" Blair said and offered Grace a spoonful of cake.

Grace eagerly opened her mouth like a baby bird keen to be fed and gained a round of applause when she took the cake. The commotion made her shy again but her interest in the cake won and she reached out for more.

"She's going to be a gourmet, this one" someone commented.

Chuck laughed a little and made a comment about how Bass Industries might end up branching out into the restaurant business. He sat down next to Blair and Grace with his own slice of cake and chatted with Eric who had taken a seat opposite him. Grace was now wide awake and forgot all about being shy, beaming over the attention and the cake.

The rest of the afternoon progressed just the way Blair had hoped it would. They opened presents and Grace was in a splendid mood even though she didn't seem to know exactly what she was excited about. Eventually Blair took her to the kitchen to give her dinner and then she brought her upstairs to put her down for the evening. It was earlier than her usual bedtime but she hadn't napped for long and it had been a long and eventful day. Blair recognized the signs of Grace becoming overly tired and wanted to tuck her in as soon as possible. Chuck came up after a while and kissed the baby goodnight. Then they hurried back down to entertain the guests who didn't seem intent on leaving just because the birthday girl had checked out.

"So how does it feel to have a one year old child?" Lily asked Chuck when people were finally starting to head home.

"I can't believe how big she's gotten" Chuck said. "I don't get why she's not walking yet though."

"Give it time" Lily said.

"The sooner she does the better."

Lily smiled and put her hand on his arm.

"You know, you've done a good job this past year. I know Bart would be very proud of you if he were here."

Chuck swallowed and nodded, looking away. Lily walked off to get a refill on her drink and he glanced after her, wondering if she was right. He hoped she was. He missed Bart today more than most other days. It would have been great seeing his father dote on Grace on her first birthday. But Bart was gone. Soon Grace would be gone too, gone to New Haven. He made up his mind to practically live at Blair's until then, making sure not to waste a single moment with the baby. Nor with Blair for that matter. He glanced over at her. She was standing by the table where they had put all the opened gifts, eyeing through the things their daughter had been given. She looked up when Dorota walked in from the kitchen.

"Dorota once the guests have left go prepare my bedroom" Blair said, stopping the older woman by putting a hand on her arm. "Chuck and I thought we'd toast our baby girl together with some fine champagne and perhaps a nice fire and some candles."

Dorota made a giggling face, understanding perfectly well what Blair was actually asking her to set up, and hurried off to get the coats for the last leaving guests. Blair smiled contently and wondered if it would be bad karma to go upstairs and put on something nicer and lacier under her dress.

She decided it wouldn't be and hurried for the stairs. After only a few steps Serena grabbed her arm and Blair stopped, albeit very reluctantly.

"Whatever it is S, can it wait? Oh it can, great."

"Why are you in a hurry?" Serena wondered.

"I… Well I haven't checked on Grace in a while."

Just as Blair thought Serena was going to let her go Eleanor came walking down the stairs with a smile on her face.

"Blair I just checked on Grace and she is sleeping soundly. I cannot believe that girl is a whole year old."

"Looks like you don't need to check on the baby" Serena said.

"What's up Serena?" Blair asked impatiently with a less than sincere smile.

"Well, this is Gracie's first birthday and I overheard you tell Dorota that you and Chuck were going to have a glass of champagne to celebrate,"

"Yeah?"

"Seeing as how I'm her favorite aunt I thought I'd join you!"

Serena had a big smile as if this was a wonderful idea. It was the worst idea Blair had ever heard in her life.

"Oh, S, I don't know."

"What? Oh come on, it would be so cozy!"

It would be, so long as Serena didn't partake. Blair glanced over towards Chuck as discreetly as possible. He looked back at her and gave her a promising smile. No way in hell was she about to let Serena be a part of this evening and ruin everything.

"You know S, we really want it to be more a close family thing."

"I am close family."

"You're her aunt by marriage."

"Why is it such a big deal that I want to share a glass of champagne with you and Chuck?" Serena asked with a smirk, clearly suspecting that something was up.

"It's no biggie" Blair tried to lie.

"You just said '_biggie_'. Clearly something is going on."

"It's just… You know, she's _our_ baby. Chuck's DNA, my DNA, the best of him, the best of me, our joined legacy."

"Yes I know how babies come from two individuals" Serena smirked. "Come on B, what's the big deal?"

"I know you love her. But this is a special day for both Chuck and me and we wanted to sit alone and talk about the miracle that is our child."

"Just the two of you _alone_? Grace won't be there? Birthday champagne without the birthday girl?"

"Grace is too young to have champagne" Blair said and then hurried off to say goodbye to Lily who appeared to be leaving.

Serena still had the smirk on her face and looked over at Chuck. He seemed to be keeping a good eye on Blair but if so he was doing it discreetly and it was hard to tell if he was ogling her on the sly or simply looking at his stepmother who was heading home. She walked over to him, entertained by wondering what his reaction would be if she asked him if she could stay and have champagne with him and Blair. Something was definitely going on and it seemed like much fun could be had with teasing them about it.

Unfortunately she didn't get a chance to speak with him because before she reached him he had walked over to Lily to say goodbye. Next thing Serena knew Blair came striding up with her jacket in her hands and shoved it into Serena's arms.

"Here you go S, here's your coat" Blair said. "Eric and Lily are leaving now and what would be more fitting than you leaving also? You know, family arrives together, family leaves together. The natural order of things."

"Gee Blair, one might think you were eager to get rid of me" Serena teased.

"Did you look at the time? Oh gosh, it's getting late."

"Fine, I'm leaving. But you call me tomorrow and tell me what all of this has actually been about."

She walked towards the elevator while putting her jacket on. After a few seconds her phone rang.

"Yes?"

"Why wait until tomorrow?" Blair said on the other end, calling from just a few feet away. "Here's what this is about: My daughter turns a year old today and her father and I would like to toast with some fine champagne. Since you are not her parent you are also not invited. There endeth the mystery."

"Goodnight B" Serena smiled and hung up the phone.

* * *

Finally they were alone. Grace was asleep for the night, all guests had gone home including Harold and Roman who were staying at a hotel, and Eleanor and Cyrus had headed off for the night flight to Paris. Blair and Chuck had the penthouse to themselves, at least while the baby slept. They walked inside Blair's bedroom where Dorota had lit the fireplace and twenty-or-so candles. A bottle of champagne rested on the stool by the foot of the bed along with two crystal champagne flutes.

Blair gave Chuck a smile which was both nervous and expectant. He looked calm and had a smile on his face which she hoped to see a lot more of. She walked over to the champagne bottle, opened it and poured the expensive liquid into the flutes. He came over and put his hands on her hips, which nearly made her spill. Something was about to happen between them. She knew it with certainty.

She turned around to face him with a flute in each hand and with a nervous smile held one out to him.

"Here you go" she said in what was barely more than a whisper.

"Thank you" he replied.

She clinked her flute to his.

"To Gracie."

"To Grace."

They each drank slowly from their flutes, eyes locked together. It felt like it took an eternity to empty the small glass. When the flutes were finally empty they put them down as if on a given signal and then their arms were around each other and their lips locked in hungry, passionate kisses.

Blair felt her head spinning, from either the alcohol or the boy or both. It had been ages since they had kissed like this. Far too long since his hands had been caressing her this way and hers had been given freedom to touch him wherever she pleased. His tongue explored her mouth, then hers explored his. He tasted like champagne and birthday cake and like the Chuck she remembered.

Somewhere at the back of her mind she wondered why this was happening now, and so out of the blue. The thought was quickly dismissed. It was happening now because you couldn't keep two people apart forever when they had this strong an attraction between them. It was not happening out of the blue, in fact it had been advertised months in advance. Probably they were both just too damn tired of waiting and pretending like there was nothing between them. There was everything between them, and the need to express that had never felt as strong as it did at this moment.

The next thing she knew she had been scooped up in Chuck's arms and was being carried to her bed. Not long thereafter she was on her back on the bed, engaging in the first proper make-out session she had shared with Chuck, with anyone, in over a year. His weight on her felt amazing, as did his stomach pressed up against hers. When they had last been sleeping together she had been several months pregnant and the bump had made full-on missionary an impossibility. She had missed the feeling of their two bodies pressed as closely together as they could be.

Things were progressing almost tortuously slow in spite of the intensity and the passion. It was evident that he had missed this every bit as much as she had and he was in no rush to move on to full nudity, confident that they would get there eventually. Blair thought they should get to the best part right away and take their good time with everything later once the most urgent fire had been stoked but she didn't want to say or do anything that would make him pause even for a second. When his lips moved from her mouth down to her neck and she could speak again she came very close to telling him just how much she loved him. His hands moving further down her body stopped her.

Her hands moved from his back to find the buttons on his shirt. She unbuttoned a few and eagerly stuck her hands inside his shirt as soon as there was enough room. The feeling of his skin directly against her hands, of the hairs on his chest she had always loved to play with, of his familiar body would have made her gasp with delight if the actions of his hands and mouth hadn't been doing so already.

He moved up her body again and his mouth met hers for even more passionate kisses. Just when she thought she couldn't take this slow pace anymore he sat up and pulled her up with him, impatiently working on getting her dress off. She giggled against his mouth when he cursed and reached back to help him with the clasp. She felt no worry when he rid of her of garments. She knew he would find her beautiful. He always had even when she was pregnant. She got to work on his shirt while he struggled with his pants. When they were finally both naked he laid her down gently and began to slowly work his way down her body.

* * *

Alright, lay it on me. Was it disappointing? Satisfying? So-so? Great? I'm seriously nervous here. Let me know your thoughts.

Re: the continuation of this story I have been getting requests to post the future chapters that I write. BM3 won't be getting another update but I might end up posting the rest elsewhere. Or perhaps start a sequel fic here for those who are interested. I'll keep you posted through my tumblr.

Before I let you go off and do other things I just want to say **THANK YOU** very much for following this story through fifty chapters! You have been great.

XO XO

Ronja


	51. Chapter 51

You might be wondering why I'm posting something additional to this story. I wasn't planning on doing so but I was on vacation with no Internet access and ended up rather bored at times. To cure my boredom I wrote a frighteningly large amount of chapter outlines for the continuation/sequel to this thing, ending up with tiny bits and pieces covering a large part of Grace's childhood. Why is that of any interest to you?

Well one thing I ended up writing, which takes place w-a-y into the characters' futures, felt like it could work as an epilogue to post here. It will give you little glimpses of Grace's childhood and perhaps give the story a more satisfying conclusion for some of you. Either that or it will just feel like even more of a "meh", but I'll take my chances =)

Hope you'll find it at least somewhat enjoyable!

* * *

"When do you think she's going to consider herself too old for this tradition?" Chuck asked Blair as they walked up to Grace's bedroom, followed by Dorota who carried a breakfast tray.

"I'm kind of bitter that _I_ don't get similar traditions for _my_ birthday" Blair replied.

"_I_ bring you breakfast in bed" Chuck pointed out with a smirk. "And presents. Of the more private variety."

Blair smiled back at him and leaned in to kiss him. Dorota rolled her eyes and harked. Chuck laughed a little and changed his hold on Amanda, the latest addition to the family.

"Everyone ready?" he asked.

Blair nodded, and since she was the only one with a hand free she opened the door to Grace's bedroom. They walked in singing '_Happy Birthday_' and Grace acted surprised, the same way things had been every other birthday she had had. Blair smiled widely at her daughter's excitement. Grace was so much like her in that aspect, loving every minute of the attention she was getting.

"Happy birthday, my big girl" Blair said and gave Grace a kiss before putting a bag of gifts on the bed and going for a chair to sit down on.

"Happy fifteenth, dearie" Chuck added, sitting down on the small table at the foot of the bed and placing the baby on the bed in front of him. "Amanda, can you say: '_Happy Birthday_'?"

"Habby buh… ay" Amanda offered.

"Thank you sweetie" Grace grinned.

Dorota settled for just smiling widely, placing the breakfast trey next to Grace on the bed. Grace grabbed a piece of toast and began chewing on it, drawing out the moment for a little while longer. A strain of her dark hair fell in front of her face and she brushed it aside, wishing for the millionth time that she had her mother's hair and not her father's. She envied the soft curls her mother had no trouble arranging her hair in. Grace had by now given up on that hairstyle for herself, realizing her hair was way too stubborn to stay softly curled the way she wanted it to.

She glanced over at her mother who was almost thirty-three and seemed to be in her prime. She was far younger than the moms of any of Grace's friends and Grace was often proud to have a mom who looked both young and stunning. Her eyes drifted over to her father who in spite of being six months younger than her mother looked more grown-up, mature and dignified. Then again the fact that he always wore suits probably added to that impression. He had grown his bangs back out a few years ago at Blair's request and Grace thought it suited him. When she was little she had loved to play with his bangs and she suspected that part of the reason why he had gotten rid of them was that he was tired of constantly having his daughter's hands in his face, almost poking him in the eye. Right now he was ducking the eager hands of Amanda, who also enjoyed pulling on his bangs.

At the moment Grace was in a splendid mood and generously offered her baby sister a warm smile. Most of the time she wasn't thrilled with having a sibling, having been an only child for so long. She had often wondered why her parents had decided to have another child so long after the birth of their first one but from what she gathered her father hadn't felt ready for more children until he neared his thirties. It was a thread she'd rather not pull on, hoping it was due to him wanting time to focus on work and not because he found being a parent exhausting.

She had to admit that Amanda was a cute baby. She lacked the doe-eyes Grace and their mother shared but she had Blair's much softer features while Grace had Chuck's sharper angles. When Amanda was in a good mood Grace could enjoy playing with her or reading her a story. Most of the time though she found the baby to be a nuisance. She could not be reasoned with and she was so damn needy. Most of all Grace wasn't accustomed to sharing her parents' love and affection and was having a bit of a hard time adjusting.

Right now Amanda was on her father's lap, holding the lapels of his suit in a tight grip. She dropped the turtle plushie she had been holding and Blair hurried over to pick it up and hand it to her. She ran a hand through the toddler's hair and gave her a kiss on the forehead before sitting back down. Chuck smiled and told Amanda not to let go of her toys that way. Grace finished her slice of toast and again moved a strain of hair from her face.

"I cannot fathom I have a fifteen year-old" Blair said.

"Old" Amanda said.

Grace made a face at her sister and continued eating her breakfast. While she ate she chatted with her parents about her upcoming birthday party and Blair couldn't keep in another comment on how grown up Grace had become.

"Good thing you have Amanda then" Grace said. "So you at least have one baby still."

"Are you done with breakfast?" Chuck asked. "Come on, open your gifts. I always long for the part of your birthday where I realize just how behind the times I am because the stuff I got you was cool last week but so outdated now."

Grace opened the bag and fished out a present. It appeared to be clothes, which meant it was from Mom. She grinned and wondered what label.

Amanda reached out her hand for the present.

"I want!" she said.

"Dorota" Blair said.

Grace began to open the gift while Dorota walked out for a second and then returned with another present. She gave it to Amanda who immediately started tearing at the wrapping paper. Grace stopped opening her own gift and frowned.

"She gets one?"

"She's far too little to understand the concept of birthdays and why only the person having the birthday gets gifts" Chuck shrugged.

Grace faked a smile and turned her attention back to her own gift. Inside she was fuming. She didn't get to have her birthdays to herself anymore? That little brat should learn that when it was her sister's birthday Amanda would not get any gifts. Getting to open presents didn't feel special anymore when her baby sister got to do the same just because.

She continued opening her gifts but her heart wasn't in it. For the first time in as far back as she could remember she wasn't feeling excited at all about her birthday. She sincerely hoped that when they did the big gift opening session that evening Amanda would have been put to bed already.

"Last gift is from me" Dorota said with an excited smile.

Grace picked up the last present in the bag and studied it with feigned interest. A book, it seemed, but it was unusually large. She opened it and it was indeed a book of some sort, black and with her name written on it with silver letters. Blair leaned to get a better look, obviously in the dark about Dorota's gift.

"What is it?" Grace asked.

"Is photo album" Dorota said. "From when you were little."

Grace opened the album and on the first page saw a photograph she knew well. Dad had it on his desk, it was a picture of her at only a few weeks of age, lying on her stomach on a rug smiling widely at the camera.

"Let me see that…" Blair said and moved the other gifts to the nightstand and sat down next to her daughter.

Grace turned the page and felt the bed dip on her other side. She looked up and saw that Chuck had come up as well to get a better look. She wondered where Amanda had gone to and spotted her on the floor, playing with the toy she had just gotten.

"Dorota you made this?" Blair asked.

"Benefit of having backups of all your photos" Dorota said.

"Chuck look at this" Blair said, studying the pictures on the second page with awe. "Aw, look, here's our very first picture of you."

Grace chuckled. It was far from flattering. The picture showed Blair mere minutes after having given birth, looking like she had really been through the ringer. She was lying in the hospital bed with a wrinkly little thing resting on her chest.

"That's _me_?"

"Look at that cone-head…" Chuck marveled.

"Chuck" Blair said. She kissed Grace on the top of her head. "You were so adorable. Just look at you!"

"I like this one better" Grace noted and pointed to the second picture.

Blair smiled. This one had been taken fifteen minutes later and now Blair was sitting up holding the newborn. Her hair seemed to have been brushed somewhat and she no longer looked sweaty and flushed. Grace had been wrapped in a blanket and Blair was looking at her with amazement and happiness.

"Mom you look so young!" Grace commented.

"I was nearly three years older than you are today" Blair said. "Scary to think about, really. We were just kids when we had you."

Grace shrugged. Her parents had always seemed adult to her, but then again by the time she had gotten aware of what was adult and what wasn't her parents had been in their twenties. She studied the pictures on the page, all of which had been taken exactly fifteen years ago.

"This makes even me sentimental" Chuck commented.

Grace studied a picture of her father holding her, sporting a rather uncomfortable look. She glanced up at him.

"Wow Dad, looks like you were a natural" she said sarcastically, giving him a smile.

"That first time Mister Chuck hold you" Dorota revealed with a happy grin.

"Dorota" Blair frowned, nodding towards the baby on the floor.

Dorota looked over and saw Amanda heading for the door. She hurried over to stop the baby and Blair returned her eyes to the photo album.

"When that picture was taken…" Chuck said and pointed to the first picture of him and Grace. "That was early in the morning the day after you were born. I was terrified of holding you. What did I know about holding babies?"

"To think we managed to go fifteen years without causing any irreparable damage" Blair mused.

"You may have" Chuck said. "You weren't the one with her when she broke her leg."

"Dad that was ages ago" Grace scoffed.

"And in a few years time I might actually forgive myself for it."

"Oh look, there's Bart holding you" Blair said as Grace turned the page.

Chuck felt a strange feeling in his chest when he looked at the picture. Any picture with his father and daughter had that affect on him. This one had been taken when Bart and Lily came to visit at the hospital and Bart looked both proud and completely smittened.

"I wish I could have gotten to know him" Grace said thoughtfully.

"You see that look on his face?" Chuck asked. "That was maybe a few minutes after you first met him and already you had him wrapped around your tiny little finger."

"Here's your first day home" Blair fawned, pointing to another photo. "Gosh you were so cute. Just look at you. Even when you were newborn you could tell whose daughter you were. You have your father's jaw line."

"Yeah thanks for that" Grace said and gave her father a playful nudge. "Makes me look masculine."

"Hey" Chuck objected. "I inherited that jaw from my mother and she was a striking woman. Just like you're becoming."

"Please Dad, can we please not talk about me becoming a woman? It's awkward."

Chuck raised an eyebrow at Blair and she chuckled, running a hand through Grace's hair. She studied the pictures on the next page and realized she had forgotten many of these pictures. Then again they had probably taken a hundred pictures a day when Grace was a baby and there were only so many a person could remember.

Then they came across a picture she knew for sure she had never seen. A shared look with Chuck told her he had never seen it either.

"This was kind of cute" Grace said in a soft tone.

Blair nodded and leaned in closer to see better. It was a picture of herself and Chuck, laying face-to-face on her bed sleeping with Grace napping in-between them. Dorota must have taken this picture but why had she never showed it to Blair before?

"Is my favorite photo" Dorota smiled.

"This must be the first picture of us looking like a proper family" Blair mused, wishing she could have had that photo up on the wall years ago.

"Two children with a child…" Chuck mumbled in a tone that suggested he was thinking less of how they looked like a family and more of how young he and Blair had been.

"Don't sound so horrified Dad" Grace said. "I turned out alright… sort of."

Chuck didn't reply and remained surprisingly silent for a few more pages. These pictures were all from the time when he hadn't been able to bond with his baby and he didn't like thinking back on it. He almost breathed a sigh of relief when they reached pictures taken after his return from Thailand.

"Hey, prom pictures" Grace said. "I remember seeing these when I was younger. Wow Mom your dress is gorgeous. Did you guys have a great prom?"

"A perfect prom" Blair said.

"Why did you bother dressing me up in a gown though?" Grace asked, studying a picture of herself drooling on her father's jacket. "Seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to get a pair of cute pictures before you left."

"You attended our prom" Chuck said. "We did a stay-in variety."

"Oh awesome" Grace said. "I essentially killed your social life, didn't I?"

"Trust me honey the evening we had was far better than anything I would have had at the actual prom" Blair said.

"Yeah right" Grace snorted. "Is your motherly advice to me that I should also have a baby in high school and not go to prom?"

"Good God!" Blair exclaimed. "I am _not_ going to be a grandmother before I'm forty!"

"Is almost eight o'clock" Dorota said, lifting up Amanda from the floor. "Mister Chuck you will be late for big meeting and Miss Blair you need to be at work in one hour. Also Miss Grace needs time to get ready for school."

"It's so strange to me that you go to school on your birthday" Blair said. "When I gave birth to you we still had another few days left of summer vacation and you're on your second week of the semester."

"We can muse about that later" Chuck said, glancing at his wristwatch. "I need to go get ready. Grace why don't you save the rest of that album for tonight? I would like to look through the rest of those pictures with you."

"I'm not sure these pictures should be seen by anybody" Grace frowned, eyeing a picture of herself wearing Chuck's sunglasses and a big grin. "How come half the time you've got me styled up properly and half the time I look like an insane goofball?"

"Depends on who dressed you that day" Blair said in a sweet tone and kissed her on the cheek. "Alright Chuck, we need to go get ready. And you, birthday girl, put that album away and make haste to the shower. You don't want to be late on your birthday."

She got up and grabbed Amanda from Dorota. With the baby in her arms she followed Chuck to their bedroom down the hall. She put Amanda down in her playpen and hurried over to her vanity to find accessories that matched her outfit. Chuck walked inside their large closet to find a bowtie to go with his shirt and suit. He walked back out and over to his wife who was looking through one of her jewelry boxes with a smile on her face. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck.

"A little fancy for a day at the office, don't you think?" he murmured.

She laughed a little. The jewelry box she had opened contained only jewelry Chuck had given her. She could spend endless time looking through the exquisite pieces, smiling both at how beautiful they were and at the memories of when Chuck had given each one to her. Right now her fingers were playing with the golden pendant with a small diamond, his gift to her after Amanda was born.

"This isn't for today, silly" she said. "It's for Grace's party tonight."

"It's not her _real_ party tonight" Chuck pointed out. "It's the family gathering. She's well past the age when we were invited to her _actual_ parties."

"Nevertheless I plan on looking spectacular."

"You always do."

"You're biased."

"No I'm not. I thought you were gorgeous long before I fell in love with you."

"Oh is that so?" Blair smiled, turning around and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Mm-hm. I can't wait to see what Amanda will look like when she's older. She's got much more of you in her than Grace does."

"I like that Grace looks like you."

"Now who's being biased?"

Blair giggled and pulled him closer for a kiss. He kissed her back eagerly and for a moment they almost forgot that they had things to do and places to be. Then Amanda dropped a toy with a bang and began to cry, bringing them back to the present.

"I'll dress the baby, you pick out your jewelry" Chuck said, walking over to the playpen. "Alright, cranky young lady. Geez, you really throw a fit whenever things don't go your way. You certainly don't get your temper from me."

"Oh so _I_'_m_ prone to fits?" Blair asked with a teasing smile.

"You? No, never."

He began to sing Donald Duck's theme song while he sat Amanda down to take her pajamas off and Blair rolled her eyes and smirked at him in the mirror.

"Watch it Bass, or you will be sleeping in the guest room for a week" she teased.

"Nah, you'd never kick me out of our bedroom."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because you love me."

"That I do" Blair admitted.

"And you're kind of clingy. It's no wonder Grace slept with her crocodile plushie until she was twelve when her mother treats me like I'm a life-sized teddybear each night."

"I never molested my teddybears the way I do with you" Blair pointed out, deciding on a brass bracelet.

He chuckled and reached for the blouse Blair had laid out for Amanda to wear. He struggled a bit with dressing the uncooperative baby and Blair finished putting on her jewelry. She turned around and watched her husband and baby daughter with a loving smile, fondly remembering when he used to watch him with another baby who was now quite grown up. She had often wished they could have had more children earlier, when Grace was younger, but now she found herself appreciating that they had waited. They were much more prepared for parenthood now than they had been when Grace was little and this way they would still have young children at home when Grace went off to college in a few years.

"I just… can't believe that Gracie has gotten so old" she said. "Do you remember when she was Amanda's age?"

"Vividly" Chuck said with a laugh. "I still mourn my scarf, to this day."

"Good riddance to that old thing."

Chuck gasped with mock horror. It made her giggle and she walked over to him and took Amanda, who was now fully dressed.

"I should get going" she said. "I have to drop Amanda off before I go to the office. I will be home sometime after four and the festivities begin at seven o'clock sharp."

"I know, I know" Chuck said. He tousled Amanda's hair, which was straight unlike her sister's had been. "Have a good day, little girl." He leaned in and gave Blair a soft kiss. "Have a great day, Mrs. Bass."

"I intend to" Blair smirked. "Bye. We love you."

"I love you too."

Blair held up Amanda's hand and waved with it as they walked out of the room. Once they were gone Chuck went to look for his briefcase to make sure he had everything he needed for his meeting.

* * *

After showering and getting ready Grace glanced at the clock and noticed she still had another ten minutes to spare. She glanced over at the photo album on her nightstand and then looked over at her computer. Seeing pictures of herself as a baby had made her want to look at more pictures from her childhood and she knew there was a whole bunch on her father's computer. Hacking into it from her own machine was a simple task and within a few minutes she had gotten a hold of what she was searching for. She started going through the pictures one by one. She wasn't usually interested in looking back on her childhood through looking at old pictures but she had to admit it was really nostalgic when she recognized a picture or a moment and really interesting when she came across something she didn't remember.

The pictures weren't in any kind of chronological order and it became like a potpourri of her childhood. There she was on her very first bike. There she was underneath the Christmas tree holding the crocodile plushie which had been her favorite through most her life. There were pictures of her with her leg in a bright red cast after she had broken it and pictures of her in the ski slopes with her father when she was five or six years old. She found several pictures of herself with her first pony and an endless amount of pictures her mother or Dorota had taken when she dressed up in fancy clothes and tried on her mother's jewelry. She almost burst out laughing when she found pictures of herself dressed as a ladybug for Halloween and grinned widely when she came across pictures taken at Disney World. She completely forgot about the time as she went through the pictures.

She had just gotten to a photo of herself and her parents on Grandma' Eleanor's couch in Paris, taken the first Christmas she clearly remembered, when her door opened and her father's voice interrupted her.

"Gracie? What are you doing? You should have left fifteen minutes ago."

Grace looked at the time and jumped up from her seat with a shriek.

"Damn it, I'm going to be late!"

"I'll say. Come on, I'll give you a ride. Perhaps we should have gotten you a watch for your birthday."

Grace rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag from the floor. Chuck was already halfway down the stairs when she caught up with him.

"I cannot be late today!" she wailed.

"I would preach to you about how you should never be late but I was a notorious class-cutter" Chuck said.

"Yeah, and you never went to college either."

"Fair point."

They made it down to the limo and Grace groaned as it seemed to take an eternity just to get to the next street. At this rate she would be more than fashionably late. She looked over at her father who was going through some notes for his meeting. He looked so much more adult now than he did in some of the pictures she had looked at. In some of the pictures from when she was a baby he had looked a lot like Grace did now, at least close enough that one could easily tell they were father and daughter. He had only been two years older than she was now when he became a parent. The thought was difficult to comprehend. Grace definitely didn't want to have children anytime soon and she couldn't imagine how her parents had managed.

"Hey Dad?" she said.

"Mmm?" Chuck mumbled without looking up from his notes.

"What… What is your favorite memory from my childhood?"

He looked up at her.

"You're fifteen. Your childhood is not over yet."

"Dad. Come on. I'm grown up now."

"Uh-huh. So should I drop you off at work?"

Grace rolled her eyes.

"Come on Dad, I'm serious. What's your favorite moment from my childhood?"

Chuck laughed a little.

"Dearie how the hell am I supposed to answer that? I don't have a one favorite moment."

"Oh come on, it's my birthday."

"I'm serious Grace, I don't have a favorite moment. I mean, there are some memories that stand out from the rest, like the first time you called me Dada, or the time you woke me up at three in the morning to show me you'd lost your first tooth, or the time you puked on me in the back of the limo when I was on my way to an important business meeting."

"_That_ is a candidate for your favorite moment?"

"It was memorable, though not exactly the best experience I've ever had as a parent. It's just… not really possible to single out a moment I like better than the rest. Can _you_ name your favorite childhood memory?"

"Disney World" Grace said. "You, me and Mom and all the rides I could go on."

"Really? You'd pick that trip as your favorite childhood memory?"

"What?"

"You've practically had a phobia for the wicked queen from '_Snow White_' ever since that trip. You even had to sleep with a night light for a while."

"Is that why we never went back to Disney World?"

"Yes, and it's why we're not taking Amanda until she's at least eight or nine."

"You guys were much more fun parents when you were twenty-something" Grace teased and scooted over to the door. "Thank God, I'm like two minutes early."

"Have a good day" Chuck said. "Behave yourself."

"Bye Dad" Grace said, kissing him on the cheek before getting out of the car.

Chuck watched her run inside the building and smiled slightly. It was absolutely insane that his daughter was fifteen years old now. It seemed like just yesterday she had been trotting around with a bit of his scarf in her mouth. It was almost miraculous how she had grown to be a fairly normal teenager when she had been raised by two very young people who had had more issues at eighteen than most people did in a lifetime. He was proud of her and even though she was currently going through a rebellious and cranky teenager phase she had a lot of sweetness in her.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and sent Blair a message.

"_These kids of ours, they're pretty great. Do you remember G's first birthday party, all those years ago?_"

After a minute he got a reply back.

"_Not only do I remember it, I expect a reenactment of certain parts of it tonight. And our girls are not great, they're fabulous. See you tonight! XO XO._"

He chuckled and sent her a response.

"_I love you. XO XO._"

* * *

Don't know if that was worth a read or not but hopefully it didn't suck =) Thanks for reading!

/

Ronja


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